Does Self Esteem Create Shame?
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- Опубликовано: 14 май 2024
- What is shame? How does it affect our self esteem and vice versa? Watch this video to learn how to navigate shame and have a solid self esteem.
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00:00 Self esteem
01:30 Self compassion
03:00 Comparison
05:00 Proving you belong
11:00 Your worth
#shame #selfesteem #mendedlight #jonathandecker
"You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself. And how little I deserve it!"- Gilbert and Sullivan, _Ruddigore_
Seeing the title, I was reminded of Uncle Iroh's saying "Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame." ruclips.net/video/89rKnkNDKdM/видео.html
12:33 What you said about Rocky reminded my of another character's Journey to success and self-respect.
That character is Rock Lee from NARUTO which is about ninjas like himself who fight to protect their respective hidden villages.
From a very young age, Lee struggled because he wasn't born with the abilities that the others had (Ninjutsu, ninja powers, or Genjutsu, the power of illusions) but what he could use was Taijutsu which was purely basedon physical prowess and strength and skill and he used har work every day to get him to where he is when he appears in the series.
The reason why I found his story so compelling was because when he believed his efforts were for nought his mentor said something to him that began his journey to self-respect and to success, so after that no matter how many times he failed he never stopped persevering and that character helped me through my worst year in high school because after watching him I knew that my hard work should matter more than my test results and that carried my through year 11.
You're right "Even if we lose we win" because we fought our hardest and we fought at our best and that's what matters
I always thought "esteem" for another word for love so I believed self-esteem was the same as self love or self compassion.
I needed this 13 minutes of me sitting here silently crying. In my past years my friend, my partner and father have repeatedly told me that I would only heal from my past traumas if I'd grow up. I tried to work jobs I didn't really want or know, I tried learning a profession that pays well, I tried to live by myself, working and learning and struggling with low payment, and I couldn't. I tried at least 3-4 times. Now I'm starting over again, this time with something I truly like, but the road is long till I get there, I feel left behind in life (I am 33) I feel so ashamed whenever they mention that I should not be afraid of the hardships of life as an adult - cuz I am, based on my experiences. Watching this video was liberatingly painful. Thank you.
Hello from Brazil
I am autistic and going through a divorce after/because the diagnosis. I've been called by my therapist to practice self acceptance and self love. It's hard but watching your videos make me understand better what he means and reading the books you mention made me begin to feel really better. Thank you ❤
I am also an autistic person and I know at times it can be hard for us because what society projects unto us, but at the end of the day we are incredibly unique and there is true beauty in that.
As an autistic person, my advice is to embrace that unique part of you because even when others make life hard for you, that part of you will always be there to lift you up.
You are unique, you are beautiful. Own that, own who you are and you will find solace when everyone else is against you.
I have no doubt that you are a wonderful person, own that.
Surround yourself with people who love those unique parts of you because I have no doubt that they are present and I have no doubt that they are beautiful
Also, you should read "Love and Autism" it's book filled with stories told by autistic children for people like us, I found it empowering. I hope you do too
God bless🤗
@@Aashbard01
Thank you so much for these words and also for the recommendation. I'm gonna read the book you mentioned for sure. It's hard to see good things in yourself when you're so different from what the society is prepared, but what you said about me and us as autistic community encourage me to believe that this differences don't make us worse or even better, but unique and that being autistic also have a good and beautiful side
@@Sam-ri3kg Any time, I'm a part of the community and I want to make sure that any and all autistic people feel loved.
Also,. just for piece of mind. How old are you? I'm 18
This is a great message, and I love your couple dynamic. Also that clip made me cry a little bit lol #cryingwithjono
My inner contrarian drives me to prose a minutely or strongly perspective on scarcity mindset towards the love, valuing and compassion from other people. That being that based on self respect, individual personal boundaries and core varies in life any given individual will very likely have an end of the proverbial line that makes anothers consistent faltering simply too much for them to continue on. After all, none of us are so perfect as to have bottomless wells of acceptance and compassion through all points of our chaotic lives, even with efforts to change and improve from those exhausting lives ones...especially so the more people someone deals with.
Also chick flick for guys; I took to calling those knuckle draggers, cause they are just testosterone soaked, and fueled, hyper masculine movies like lizard brain Neanderthals have widely been considered to my experience.
So what you're saying is that I'm using the term "self-esteem" incorrectly.
Hello there!
I'm Nicole and I would like a request
I've been watching a bunch of your videos here and in cinema therapy and I want to ask if you could do a video of books you recommend?
cause I find a lot of books you said in some videos and I forgot which one have those titles 😅
10:46 "Do you really think there's only so much love to go around?"
Absolutely I do. The whole reason people identified "positive" and "negative" emotions is to signal which one they don't want to deal with in others. Objectively, no one wants to hear someone else is feeling down, and so people absolutely prioritize who they are willing to hear "negative" emotions from and how often. It's effectively a social crime to be a miserable person- you are NOT allowed to do that.
Hence if I want connection either:
1) Have external value that "proves" I am worth their time because they want something from me (in which case they have an excuse to say I don't have a reason to feel that way, so fucking wonderful path that is).
Or,
2) I must first and foremost cater to their emotional demands and let them be allowed to have "negative" emotions, while denying my own.
People, fundamentally, are more upset that you dare upset their mood than are concerned about yours, because we are all ultimately internally motivated by our own desire.
You're missing a link in this chain. Love is infinite, but love is time, and time is finite.
You are lamenting that others make you "prove your worth" before they value your pain. That isn't the whole story though. You do have to prove that you are worth their TIME, they only have so much of it. Of course you have to build connection before you are entitled to someone's time and love and support. But connection doesn't have to come from your money, or you taking on their suffering, or whatever nonsense you might think. Sometimes it's as simple as showing up, being present, listening. If that's too high of a price for YOU to pay to build connection, why do you think you deserve someone who'll pay it for you?
Love isn't hard work, it's just constitency and persistence, it's just time. You are not entitled to anyone else's.
can you do a video about people who regert being born
Interesting people...
My knowledge tell me that selfsteem is not about others, is about knowing yourself... Self steam is a umbrella term for self-knowledge, self-imagen, self-abilities, etc... It's not only love yourself, is a relationship with yourself and yeah, self-compation must be a part of that relationship. Knowing, I don't know, I'm good in math but I need help with chemistry isn't Bad or good, knowing yourself, steem yourself, don't have to be about others o don't have to have shame or Bad feeling about that... And that is that You are saying. Yeah, You can ask for help in chemistry and that is good thing You have about yourself, being not a Genius in chemistry is a fact, the significance we make of ours facts is part of our relationship with ourself too... And that is what we have to work to change, usually. I think you are seing is that people not know what selfsteem is.
Please make a video about the TV show Fringe.
Please make a video about the Netflix show Altered Carbon.
Thank you for the insights as always, but if I may ask: If self-esteem doesn't prove one's worth, then what good does it do?
I think it pushes us to grow and do/be better.
can you please do an episode on the Never Have I Ever series?
Please make a video about the anime Mushoku Tensei.
To get to the heart of the matter, Jesus bought all our shame. All of it. When you start to feel shame, let the fact that Jesus bought it overwhelm that shame, right then.