How to Overcome Toxic Shame with Peter A. Levine, PhD

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  • Опубликовано: 14 сен 2023
  • Is shame getting in the way of your healing?
    Dr. Levine, the esteemed father of body-based trauma work and developer of Somatic Experiencing®, reveals how to acknowledge unspoken factors that led to feelings of shame and humiliation, and reframe negative beliefs so you can get back to being your best self.
    “It is my deepest desire that this healing journey will help free you from the torment of pain and unnecessary suffering. I hope you choose to join me in this experiential learning opportunity that will help bring you back to your inner self-and finally achieve freedom from pain.” -Peter A. Levine, PhD
    Learn more about Body as Healer and Peter Levine’s transformative online course here: bit.ly/3sSyD25
    About Peter A. Levine, PhD
    bit.ly/3PiL6DH
    Dr. Levine is the developer of Somatic Experiencing®, a naturalistic and neurobiological approach to healing trauma and resolving stress. He holds doctorates in both biophysics and psychology. He is the founder and president of the Ergos Institute of Somatic Education and the founder and advisor for Somatic Experiencing International.
    For more from Dr. Peter Levine, visit Somaticexperiencing.com
    Sounds True was founded in 1985 by Tami Simon with a clear mission: to disseminate spiritual wisdom. Since starting out as a project with one woman and her tape recorder, we have grown into a multimedia publishing company with more than 80 employees, a library of more than 1500 titles featuring some of the leading teachers and visionaries of our time, and an ever-expanding family of customers from across the world. In more than three decades of growth, change, and evolution, Sounds True has maintained its focus on its overriding purpose, as summed up in our Mission Statement.
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Комментарии • 501

  • @deelicious1610
    @deelicious1610 6 месяцев назад +1039

    To the little girl in me, I want her to know, “Your mother’s angst, anger, and unhappiness had nothing to do with you.” ❤

    • @sanderschat
      @sanderschat 6 месяцев назад +44

      To the little girl in you: "You are more then welcome here. Here, i give you a big hug, cause i see you. Welcome, little one, welcome"

    • @RimaM-iq7xe
      @RimaM-iq7xe 6 месяцев назад +6

    • @FixingOurFamilyCourts
      @FixingOurFamilyCourts 6 месяцев назад +19

      Welcome, healing little girl. As you grow, you will see that your strength, courage and love for yourself is who you are as an adult woman and how you come across to others! ❤

    • @shellylaurelwright-burroug555
      @shellylaurelwright-burroug555 6 месяцев назад +16

      I'd like to say to the little girl in me your mother's abuse towards you and siblings was a result of mom unresolved traumatic experiences that shaped her. It's okay you learned to protect yourself from her. Stay in love and safe❤

    • @htetarkarkyaw9759
      @htetarkarkyaw9759 5 месяцев назад

  • @curiouscarpenter3152
    @curiouscarpenter3152 2 месяца назад +35

    I would say to my three-year-old self, "Brace yourself little man, this is going to hurt, a lot, but there will be love"

  • @juneahernauthor
    @juneahernauthor Месяц назад +10

    I say to my 10 year old self, you were just a little girl dependent on those who should have kept you safe. They didn't. Little girl, you are free to be loved and be safe.

  • @saraheva1255
    @saraheva1255 5 месяцев назад +208

    I would say to my 6 year old self: you deserved those shoes you asked for. Asking for those shoes is not the reason you parents fought like your mom said and blamed you for. You were worthy of those shoes and worthy of asking for things ❤️

    • @sarahverity6784
      @sarahverity6784 3 месяца назад +22

      I hope you get the chance to buy yourself some lovely shoes.

    • @saraheva1255
      @saraheva1255 3 месяца назад +13

      @@sarahverity6784 that made me cry. Thank you for seeing my little girl and validating her. You are a gift this morning.

    • @benbauer1065
      @benbauer1065 3 месяца назад +3

      😢 Absolutely true!

    • @Bella-wp7wz
      @Bella-wp7wz 3 месяца назад +2

      I love that healing can be something as simple as this ❤❤ thank you for reminding me

    • @geraldinegrandidier7641
      @geraldinegrandidier7641 Месяц назад +1

      Yes and you know I have bought myself that little jacket etc… she wouldn’t get me and I wear it now . Choose some really nice shoes for yourself . It’s incredibly healing to consciously put things right for ourselves

  • @amandalynngibson8332
    @amandalynngibson8332 7 месяцев назад +475

    Thank you. The validation is huge.
    Ostracized by 2 older sisters in the home where the adults were crazy: drug and mentally ill. I was on my own at 13- legally emancipated at 14.
    Soon I turn 65....I am grateful for the people who helped so far.
    I have so much more work to do.
    🙏🌷

    • @hilltopvt
      @hilltopvt 7 месяцев назад +27

      I'm 65 in a few months, and I grew up with insane parents - the shame was excruciating, finally clearing it. This is the best explanation of shame I've ever heard. Dr Levine is heaven sent.

    • @mayaragioz
      @mayaragioz 7 месяцев назад +13

      I recommend Heidi channel and her video about toxic shame and ptsd complex here on RUclips, it helped so much

    • @frv6610
      @frv6610 7 месяцев назад +4

      ​@@mayaragiozheidi who?

    • @blanco2158
      @blanco2158 7 месяцев назад +12

      You might look into Adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. Free support group with meetings all over the place. Peace.

    • @scandinerdian1961
      @scandinerdian1961 7 месяцев назад +13

      ​@@frv6610I think she's referring to Heidi Priebe.

  • @sunnygirl4017
    @sunnygirl4017 3 месяца назад +46

    I would tell my 14 year old self, "honor yourself. Honor your beautiful body, mind and spirit. TRUST your own intuition and knowing. Your mother's rage and pain had nothing to do with you. Be Compassionate but with healthy boundaries. "

  • @tizzlekizzle
    @tizzlekizzle 6 месяцев назад +125

    Imagine a family that only shames. Zero validation. Taking only, give nothing.

    • @AA-wc3tw
      @AA-wc3tw 3 месяца назад +27

      I see you've met my mother.

    • @abdulc5726
      @abdulc5726 3 месяца назад +11

      Yeah that's my family

    • @MultiFreddy34
      @MultiFreddy34 3 месяца назад +7

      I don’t have to imagine I’m living it

    • @kb_0517
      @kb_0517 2 месяца назад +14

      Yes they took my whole childhood, my innocence, my passion, my sense of self, my self esteem, my voice. they cost me so much.

    • @tizzlekizzle
      @tizzlekizzle 2 месяца назад +5

      @@kb_0517 i'm really sorry that happened to you. trust me I know exactly the devastation and destruction it causes. Now take all that pain and turn it into something beautiful.

  • @sabelondlovu9296
    @sabelondlovu9296 6 месяцев назад +172

    School counselors should be equipped with this information. A lot happens to us at schools and at home.

    • @TS-iv9ml
      @TS-iv9ml 2 месяца назад +1

      Certain high demand religions as well

  • @cindychurch335
    @cindychurch335 3 месяца назад +82

    I’ve done some inner child work as a result of trauma from a very young age. My father was an alcoholic and pretty much no existent in my life even though we lived in the same house. He never acknowledged me as a person let alone his daughter. As a result there was an uncomfortable relationship with all men. Two divorces later I did meet someone who saw the real me and loved me. He passed away five years later. I’m 67 and I have a long way to heal. Ben gave me self confidence and unconditional love, and I’m still grieving his loss after 6 years

  • @caseyc4305
    @caseyc4305 7 месяцев назад +449

    Thank you soo much for posting this. I’m all of a sudden having all of my adolescent shame/ostracized/bullied/humiliated has come to the surface and I’m in an immense amount of pain and I needed to hear this. I can’t believe it was posted a week ago. Thank you!

    • @andys7937
      @andys7937 7 месяцев назад +29

      I'm with you. Totally agree, the timing of this is uncanny

    • @carlydubbya7620
      @carlydubbya7620 7 месяцев назад +34

      i'm feeling the same way.i don't understand what has triggered this historic shame/suffering, but it is excruciating. I wish you peace.

    • @Borboleta1212
      @Borboleta1212 7 месяцев назад +16

      I’m feeling the same way. I’ve also been listening to Kyle Cease and Matthew Pallett’s most recent videos and they talk about this also! It seems to very much be a collective thing people are feeling right now. Have you heard of Dr Gabor Maté?

    • @MSP2104
      @MSP2104 7 месяцев назад +9

      Mate, Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine

    • @Charity-vm4bt
      @Charity-vm4bt 7 месяцев назад

      ​​@@MSP2104Stephen Porges, NICABM, Richard Schwartz

  • @dublewr2194
    @dublewr2194 6 месяцев назад +71

    I was shamed for my existence..it was selfish to have a sense of self so I wanted something I felt ashamed of that..I was ashamed of myself..

    • @ann5944
      @ann5944 3 месяца назад +3

      wow can i relate. sending hugs ❤

    • @jjsunshine
      @jjsunshine 3 месяца назад +7

      Perhaps share the healing words you needed. Maybe it'll help someone else.
      " It is normal for you to be different from others. That makes the world that much richer. You may've been scolded or taunted sometimes, but that was just because differences can threaten others who aren't mature, so they can't handle challenging themselves. But none of this was your fault. You should never have been blamed."

    • @dublewr2194
      @dublewr2194 3 месяца назад +2

      @@jjsunshine thank you so much for saying this

    • @Tinky456
      @Tinky456 Месяц назад +1

      Yes I always thought I was bad, that something was wrong with me.

    • @Mike-br4hg
      @Mike-br4hg 14 дней назад

      You are amazing.

  • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
    @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 3 месяца назад +181

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @steceymorgan814
      @steceymorgan814 3 месяца назад +2

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku 3 месяца назад +2

      Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 3 месяца назад +1

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @steceymorgan814
      @steceymorgan814 3 месяца назад

      Is he on instagram?

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku 3 месяца назад +1

      Yes he is. dr.sporesss

  • @user-om8mf4on5j
    @user-om8mf4on5j 4 месяца назад +9

    To the little girl in me 'It was not my fault I developed a chronic illness and caused my family pain'. My mothers fear, grief, rage - wasn't because I was bad.

    • @martinkarp9298
      @martinkarp9298 3 месяца назад

      Y
      ou are not bad. your mother is the problem.

  • @cleestacy
    @cleestacy 7 месяцев назад +68

    Yes!, and taking “responsibility” then feels so painful as a kid when it’s not even your responsibility.
    So naturally when we grow up, and we’re told “take responsibility for your life”, that feels painful and like blame.

    • @almondmilksoda
      @almondmilksoda 7 месяцев назад +11

      RIGHT! Wow. This is an astute observation.

    • @rachellerockel
      @rachellerockel 7 месяцев назад +3

      True ❤

    • @baxter6556
      @baxter6556 2 месяца назад +1

      Your response was exactly the piece of my puzzle today of trying to understand why I feel so responsible for me & my family members emotions that attached from shame. This was an answer to my prayers today. Bless u❤🙏❤

    • @cleestacy
      @cleestacy 2 месяца назад +1

      @@baxter6556I’m so happy to hear that 💖💖💖 you can be free of the responsibility! Of the same! :)

  • @strangerintheselands251
    @strangerintheselands251 2 месяца назад +10

    "You cannot move fully into life when you are in the posture of shame" - this literally sums up the feeling of being a cigarette stubbed out into ground, the way I feel, a heavy coat on my shoulders and no joy for life. I told my adolescent self: you have a good heart, you will be over it, i'm with you, i'm not leaving, you will flourish and be able to share and help others, you will manage, they don't know what they're doing, never received love themselves, And I burst into tears. A 44 year old man, considered talented by many of my friends. That was very touching. And the gesture of bending and straightening - really got me in touch with healthy pride again.

  • @karims9379
    @karims9379 8 месяцев назад +57

    Shame is something that strips away our dignity and pride is what takes us back to our dignity ❤ thank you for your shearing

    • @rememberDay1
      @rememberDay1 8 месяцев назад +8

      amazing. And somehow I convinced myself that having pride was wrong. I'm gonna take back my pride; I have an unmistakeable feeling that this is going to be so powerful because I threw it away 17 years ago and haven't looked at it since. Thank you.

    • @jeanettenejadi1777
      @jeanettenejadi1777 7 месяцев назад +7

      @@rememberDay1 being pride is our natural state. All nomad people I know are pride. My Grandmother was a nomad. Capitalism made us to obey our boss and suppress our pride.

  • @shaunhayward
    @shaunhayward 7 месяцев назад +151

    Thank you for including peer ostracization in this. Some of us had safe homes but grades 1 to 12 were a nightmare of humiliation, threats and violence.
    This video did an amazing job of clarifying and focusing what I've been learning about toxic shame and C-PTSD.
    Probably the most helpful video I've seen yet.

    • @hilltopvt
      @hilltopvt 7 месяцев назад +9

      schools are a mess - kids don't belong in them unless they can feel safe, and many of us did/do not

    • @ussr001
      @ussr001 6 месяцев назад +5

      I had both growing up: An unstable homelife and peer ostracization

    • @HealthyPersuit-sj3fr
      @HealthyPersuit-sj3fr 5 месяцев назад +8

      Grades 6 to 9 for me. Total ostracization. I learned that I will never be beautiful, accepted, or lovable from an impressionable age. I managed to fit into society since but it was with self preservation and reserve. Survival mode since then.

  • @halloweengirl7492
    @halloweengirl7492 6 месяцев назад +15

    I was told i wasn't enough. I was humiliated and shamed for not being enough. I didn't realize how my parents set up for failure because i was never going to be enough for them.

  • @sweetsister3524
    @sweetsister3524 Месяц назад +6

    Thanks for sharing. To the little girl in me, you are beautiful honey despite what kids said at school (they were probably hurt themselves, "hurt people, hurt people"). And also, your feelings deserved to be validated at home. You're such a pure-hearted person, and you deserve so much love. I love you.💖

  • @Sereneis
    @Sereneis 7 месяцев назад +48

    You are so genuine and gentle, so caring and knowledgeable..

  • @440SPN
    @440SPN 2 месяца назад +16

    Bless you for talking about it. I have lived with the blame, shame and sadness for most of my life.

  • @thanitkarntechachaicharoen3236
    @thanitkarntechachaicharoen3236 7 месяцев назад +43

    I feel lots of compassion from the Doctor

  • @FM-qm5xs
    @FM-qm5xs 3 месяца назад +37

    My mother was a munchausens by proxy abuser. She convinced everyone around me that there was something wrong with me. My whole childhood I was humiliated and ostracized.
    Thank you for this technique. I will keep trying it out. I find movement therapy far better than regular therapy due to my intense fear of doctors.

    • @AndyJarman
      @AndyJarman 2 месяца назад +1

      I'm 63 and am only just figuring out what happened. I have been confused for years why the abuse of children by their mothers, in the way you describe, was not alarming more people. I am obsessed with the so called "trans" cult. It is so blatantly Munchausen's by proxy on so many occasions. It makes my heart bleed.

    • @rattytatty5958
      @rattytatty5958 Месяц назад

      @@AndyJarman Please, don't compare transgender children to munchausens by proxy. Try not to read so much hate filled news, they are trying to divide us, it's the same tactics over and over through history. My heart bleeds when I see people enveloped by this vitriol.

    • @rattytatty5958
      @rattytatty5958 26 дней назад

      @@AndyJarman Please, don't compare transgender children to munchausens by proxy. Try not to read hate filled news, they are trying to divide us, it's the same tactics over and over through history. My heart bleeds when I see people enveloped by this vitriol.

  • @lapislazuliphoenix
    @lapislazuliphoenix 7 месяцев назад +51

    At the end the name he references is this, Belleruth Naparstek. Even in the transcript it was wrong. I kept looking up Belarus getting nowhere, finally just used last name and shame. Blessings to all❤

    • @anishasunkara4542
      @anishasunkara4542 7 месяцев назад +1

      🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • @lovesings2us
      @lovesings2us 6 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you!

    • @irynaguziy1202
      @irynaguziy1202 2 месяца назад

      Thank you!

    • @tali7140
      @tali7140 2 месяца назад

      Thank you!

    • @nrchi
      @nrchi Месяц назад +2

      i had same issue, took a bit of trial and error to find Belleruth Naparstek. @soundstrue, would be great to update transcript @12:54 to reflect Belleruth Naparstek. and/or, one better, provide a link in show notes or as pinned comment. Just an idea. :-) -- Thanks!!

  • @sunset33533
    @sunset33533 6 месяцев назад +23

    I've had to say to myself "I'm not ashamed" a lot during mindfulness, because my conditioning from childhood was to shame myself. I like using books like 30 Days to Overcome Shame to get through rough times.

  • @lenoredavi6137
    @lenoredavi6137 7 месяцев назад +111

    Pride and dignity as an antidote to shame. Beautiful. 🥰 Allowing the body to move into, and out of the body postures of shame, pride and dignity in a healthy and intentionally aware way, instead of getting stuck in a rigid pattern.

    • @mousumimukerji4075
      @mousumimukerji4075 7 месяцев назад +22

      He says pride and dignity are the opposites of shame. Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. Notice the meditation was a compassion-based exercise. I actually think pride is not the best word here as pride has a feeling of false puffing up of the self. I think nobility as well as dignity work well. The Buddha called us “sons and daughters of the nobly born”. Not as in aristocracy but as in oriented to truth. Nothing makes us bigger truth-seekers than trauma!

    • @Tigerspencerstrawberry
      @Tigerspencerstrawberry 6 месяцев назад +2

    • @nnaled458
      @nnaled458 4 месяца назад +1

      I think there are 2 types of pride. The ego pride :"im better than others" and the authentic pride, like being PROUD of who you are without any exageration or ego.​@mousumimukerji4075

    • @sillymadness2896
      @sillymadness2896 4 месяца назад +1

      "True humility is the only antidote to shame" - Iroh

    • @WhisprStudios
      @WhisprStudios 4 месяца назад

      ​@@sillymadness2896Absolutely

  • @test-do1gc
    @test-do1gc 6 месяцев назад +15

    I suffer from toxic shame, self blame and loathing. And rejection also. The shame is so palpable, it almost takes on a physical form. We need more skilled therapists trained in trauma, EMDR, etc. Esp in small towns, there are absolutely no resources. V isolating.

  • @nillou
    @nillou 7 месяцев назад +17

    The name he says at 12:54 is "Belleruth Naparstek"

    • @iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart
      @iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart 2 месяца назад +1

      Ahh thank you, I was looking for that! Let's upvote this comment more! So that not too many other people search for "Belarus" instead, like I did! :D

  • @JoyfulUniter
    @JoyfulUniter 4 месяца назад +7

    The opposite of shame is not pride it's acceptance. Pride is a really bad thing lol. Someone's pride is the reason I'm here healing from shame, lemme put it that way.

  • @patpalmercp
    @patpalmercp 8 месяцев назад +83

    Your explanation of how the shame develops and affects us so clear! Thank you

  • @Fefe559
    @Fefe559 6 месяцев назад +32

    After a lifetime of pain, broken relationships, being the black sheep, lost child growing up, always always always on the outside, a widow in two long term relationships since my husband died from drugs, both with the most avoidant emotionally unavailable men, I just feel like giving up. I cant afford a therapist. I am in pain every single day of my life. I just want peace & I look forward to the day I go home & finally will know peace

    • @katbaubo
      @katbaubo 3 месяца назад +6

      I’m just seeing this. I hope you are feeling better❤

    • @dariosergevna
      @dariosergevna 3 месяца назад +6

      Hope you are still with us. I hear you. It’s not fair. And you’re not alone

    • @Brujamarisa
      @Brujamarisa 3 месяца назад

      It sounds like you are going through a hard time and that as you look at your life, you can only see pain...I am sure you will not feel like this every day... With all its darkness and the suffering involved, life is still a precious thing .. you can have many things to enjoy maybe not at this time but they will come so I hope you are already enjoying lots of blessings and beauty.don't give up... Look for the reason why your life is worth living for, your passions and interest, you may not feel well now but I am sure at some point sth got your heart ticking... That feeling for sure will come back. If you cannot afford therapy you can find plenty of free resources online. I personally love videos by Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer. Wish you a lot of luck ..whatever life throws at us is not there forever . .so remember there will be better days. A big hug from Galicia, Spain

    • @cayenneandbrownsuga3627
      @cayenneandbrownsuga3627 3 месяца назад +1

      U are so worthy and I hope you will see and feel that every day❤❤❤❤

    • @tessamichael9766
      @tessamichael9766 3 месяца назад +1

      I really hear you ….. and I don’t know where you are! See if you can contact an IOPT therapist. This has been life changing for me

  • @pinkcardigan3329
    @pinkcardigan3329 7 месяцев назад +40

    Thank you, Dr. Levine. I never knew that feelings of shame were so deeply rooted in peer rejection. Eye opening. ❤

  • @AnimeManhwa
    @AnimeManhwa 5 месяцев назад +26

    This is true. During my college days I was so obsessed with reading psychology books, not because I wanted to be a doctor. But I was overwhelmed with the information about our psyche. My biggest problem ever since was shame to the point it developed into social anxiety(I'd hide in my room for days getting afraid of social interaction). After reading so many help books, I realize that it was my lack of knowledge that I was unable to heal correctly. It's very hard to heal, but I'm happy to say that compared to before I am not fully healed but better.

    • @angelamossucco2190
      @angelamossucco2190 4 месяца назад

      ❤ go to ACA meetings. They are healing and free

    • @jessicakwok2013
      @jessicakwok2013 4 месяца назад

      ❤❤🙏🏻

    • @jayocaine2946
      @jayocaine2946 4 месяца назад +1

      its brutal right? such a slow unrewarding (feels unrewarding because its so slow) process

  • @nancyburkhart1070
    @nancyburkhart1070 7 месяцев назад +60

    This is one of the best, most informative videos about shame I have seen/heard. Peter Levine speaks with such compassion.

    • @mikelisteral7863
      @mikelisteral7863 7 месяцев назад

      shame, depression, and low serotonin are all the same thing
      shame is not an emotion

    • @Ihavethekeyandthesecret
      @Ihavethekeyandthesecret 6 месяцев назад

      Shame is a core belief, depression is the result of that.

  • @anusreegoswami1705
    @anusreegoswami1705 3 месяца назад +6

    No video or no human can heal someone. It's only the self which has the power to heal itself. Of course surrounding and finances matter.

  • @user-kq1en3gg2h
    @user-kq1en3gg2h 6 месяцев назад +9

    I'm 70 and I'm still living as an outcast in my family - I now live with a narcissistic partner - so how could I tell the inner adolescent that it will get better? I think resonance has a lot to do with re-experiencing what you have taken on in your energy field. I carry this energy and so I attract it. Life goes on and I'm working on changing my field.

  • @felipeoppen8300
    @felipeoppen8300 4 месяца назад +8

    Thank you for making this video, a resource that's accesible to anyone that's been looking for it, I am extremely grateful.
    As a homosexual man, I've felt extreme shame since I can remember, internalized so deeply within myself, starting to understand the roots is just the beginning of a long healing journey, I embrace it.
    I thank you once again, from the bottom of my heart. ❤

  • @drarafaellanunes
    @drarafaellanunes 2 месяца назад +2

    My god! There are no words… my god.. in 17 years trying so SO hard to explain my feelings , even just for my parents…. Even just a littleeee piece of this hell I live in, and they still look at me like Im THE biggest disappointment of their lives.. you ,in few minutes said ALL the right words….my god…
    Just thank you!❤

  • @fionabryant7923
    @fionabryant7923 7 месяцев назад +7

    What a beautiful human being..a healer

  • @anAngelisHard2find
    @anAngelisHard2find 7 месяцев назад +30

    Exceptional Master teacher and are we so gifted to be living in the time of Dr Peter A Levine. I absolutely love every word he speaks.

  • @shellbellhealing
    @shellbellhealing 7 месяцев назад +33

    Thank you I worked through a lot of fear and guilt and didn't even realise I had shame until I unlocked the next layers. Worked through anger and then there is comes the shame. I sit like that all the time, I developed a spinal disease. Bless you ❤

    • @ghaataksur
      @ghaataksur 7 месяцев назад +3

      Yeah , even my spine has gotten weak and emotion stays stored there.

    • @scandinerdian1961
      @scandinerdian1961 7 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@ghaataksurNot sure about your physical situation, but I get rid of my stored emotions by using a spiked massage ball every morning, to massage my back and bottom specifically. It truly does wonders to calm my system before a new day.

    • @michelita2704
      @michelita2704 7 месяцев назад

      This has happened to my spine too. So sorry....@@ghaataksur

    • @ahilltodieon503
      @ahilltodieon503 5 месяцев назад +1

      How did you release the shame

  • @MSP2104
    @MSP2104 7 месяцев назад +17

    Or the child keeps on thinking that it deserves mistreatment for the rest of its life, bc it is bad.

  • @tigreza77
    @tigreza77 Месяц назад +1

    Oh i cant stop crying ....my humiliated inner child has been carrying so much shame 🥀 & humiliation...oh thank you from whole my heart Peter!!! For your knowledge and big heart......just by listening to you I regain my pride and dignity back step by step through the pain that I reliese with each tier drop 😢 ☔ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I love you so much my little girl I will take care of you and protect you with all my love

  • @katherinestacie2622
    @katherinestacie2622 7 месяцев назад +4

    It never got better.

  • @woman2251
    @woman2251 3 месяца назад +8

    I am so ashamed of myself i barley left the house for the past 10 years, since i was 18.
    I don't work, never did, i am alone all the time and eating.. that's my life.

    • @Andromeda-md6ch
      @Andromeda-md6ch 3 месяца назад +1

      How are you earning money? I too barely leave the house but my parents support me financially. I have no finances of my own. Couldnt ever work due to mental health issues.

    • @Andromeda-md6ch
      @Andromeda-md6ch 3 месяца назад +2

      Dont like living like this as my parents are the ones who put me into this position. I am utterly lonely, no purpose left. I wake up, eat and do chores around the house and sleep again.

    • @Andromeda-md6ch
      @Andromeda-md6ch 3 месяца назад +1

      All the while managing bouts of deep depression and anxiety. Why was this loneliness forced upon us i wonder?!

    • @woman2251
      @woman2251 Месяц назад +1

      @@Andromeda-md6ch same as well.
      Didn't know anyone else like me..wow..
      I never had a job, I don't have social life..
      Juat like that
      I wonder where life will take me because you know, it doesn't work well..
      I just don't know.. don't know what to do..
      I also ask myself why me..?
      Why it happens to me?
      What is this cycle I can't break?

    • @Andromeda-md6ch
      @Andromeda-md6ch Месяц назад

      @@woman2251 I just spent first half of my day thinking the same. I tried and tried finishing my studies but couldnt. Doing a part time job feels like a dream. I have spent past 10 years thinking why does this happen to me? Over and over again. What did i do to get this? I have had to work so hard just to exist but in the eyes of other people i am doing nothing having an easy life being supported by my parents. I am trying to heal my inner child these days. Doing meditation and breathwork to get regulated again. Maybe that would work but i dont know if ever i would be go back to college or get a job. I want to get married but i could never have a boyfriend. Never went out on a single date and i am 31. It just didnt happen for me. I spent all my life just to maintain my existence.

  • @kirby7379
    @kirby7379 6 месяцев назад +8

    The best therapist I had came from the Levine school of somatic experiencing. It saved my life.

    • @skykn1ght78
      @skykn1ght78 Месяц назад

      Mine too. I got trained in it and the training was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. I highly recommend it for anyone who deal with trauma and all the shame and hard emotions that come with it. It's almost impossible to put to words. Glad you found it @kirby7379!

  • @morningdew3796
    @morningdew3796 2 месяца назад +2

    It was/is most painful because it is my own family. I am ok now. It is what it is

  • @percubit10
    @percubit10 8 месяцев назад +50

    I love these series., There is so much pain and trauma in my life. I gave up on my life. I was devalued and there is something wrong with me.

    • @ryankelly1840
      @ryankelly1840 8 месяцев назад +18

      There is nothing wrong about you, you were put here for a purpose and healing this is a part of it :) you are DIVINE don't you ever forget it

    • @percubit10
      @percubit10 8 месяцев назад

      @@ryankelly1840 I was very eager and curious about life and about learning and education. I spent hours in the library trying to master my craft and be the best version of myself. Always strive for excellence and do my best in all circumstances.I get marginalized and pished ti the side for wanting to be all I can be

    • @customerizeorg
      @customerizeorg 8 месяцев назад +17

      Not sure if this will make sense but the parts where you think is wrong with you is where you have the opportunity to develop your strongest and most righteous traits.

    • @tnijoo5109
      @tnijoo5109 7 месяцев назад +11

      I feel you. I went through the same. I didn’t want to give up on life but I had too much PTSD to function the way I did before and now everything is so different than a normal life.

    • @hilltopvt
      @hilltopvt 7 месяцев назад

      EXACTLY what I came to write. We are born perfect, and trauma disguises the truth from us. You are perfect @percubit, and will never be otherwise. @@ryankelly1840

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 3 месяца назад +4

    999-trillion oceans of despair and grief.
    Rage rapes me.
    I feel suicidal.
    I don't breathe.
    I am submerged in frozen darkness.
    My soul silently wails.
    I have nobody.
    I'm all alone.
    Desperately.
    Lonely.
    Filled with anguish and terror.
    I can only pray to die.
    All I feel is misery and desperation.
    Grief eats my soul.
    I cannot, do not breathe.
    He left me.
    Discarded me like last week's garbage.
    The despair is truly unbearable.

  • @JesseMovingMountains
    @JesseMovingMountains 6 месяцев назад +3

    This made me cry

  • @robhasenwinkle
    @robhasenwinkle 7 месяцев назад +14

    Thank you, Peter Levine! 🙌

  • @luckystone2293
    @luckystone2293 7 месяцев назад +8

    I'm so tired of fixing everything that was messed up for me since before I was even born. I just want a month long all inclusive holiday on a tropical island but I can't afford it.

    • @gaiagensouki
      @gaiagensouki 7 месяцев назад +4

      listen to some ocean sounds on youtube, make yourself comfortable in a chair or bed and imagine you're already there :) I do this "exercise" when I am stressed at university or work

  • @miriamjacobcohen2710
    @miriamjacobcohen2710 7 месяцев назад +14

    Brilliant presentation! I am a child of holocaust survivors who had toxic secrets. The exercise presented here is so simple and effective!

  • @EvaEva-lf3ww
    @EvaEva-lf3ww 7 месяцев назад +24

    God bless this great man. So useful ,so healing ,so soothing

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 3 месяца назад +2

    The key is you have to mean it when you say no.

  • @riverjacobs2023
    @riverjacobs2023 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for this.
    I am seriously overwhelmed by the shame I feel every day.
    I was raised by several different people; my father, my mother at times, my grandparents at times, and my stepmom.
    Most of them (save my grandparents) made me feel some level of shame. So did bullies growing up. And people I liked, and my perceived rejection, didn't help matters....
    Shame about not being able to help myself get tasks done that supposedly I should have been good at. Shame at not being self sufficient enough. Shame at not being good enough. Shame at my body being too sexual or not attractive enough (idk how but both applied). Shame at overreacting and blowing up when I hadn't been taught anything else.
    I want my younger self to know that there will come a time when the shame that others piled onto us will not make any sense, that the things I worried about being true will be revealed as nothing but lies. But also, I want them to realize they have a right to be angry,but they also have a roght to find peace in their life and enjoy things.

  • @derrick9635
    @derrick9635 3 месяца назад +2

    Ive lived with a very strong case of this,to still be alive in middle age has amazed me .
    I didnt even know i lived with it but it all makes sense when i found out .
    ❤ goes out to all those coping and healing .

  • @ppaadhns9946
    @ppaadhns9946 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you.

  • @juliearcand2358
    @juliearcand2358 2 месяца назад +2

    Crazy possibly but I am now 56, and I have spent most of my adult life in intensive therapy where my psychiatrist made sure I felt "attached and connected" - something that I absolutely was told or learned to NEVER do within my family. This wonderful dr had to tetire and I was struggling finding another therapist. I did and finally felt attached (tho, I have NEVER CALLED OR ASKED FOR ANYTHING) She told me after every 2 to 3 week appointments that "we didn’t want to repeat the depending on someone or needing her too much and how long did I think I was going to be in therapy?" My younger self was immensely ashamed and shut down. 😢

  • @tnijoo5109
    @tnijoo5109 7 месяцев назад +10

    I think the hurt if rejection from someone you love is a lot more than the evolutionary psychology explanations of survival fears. There’s got to be a much better explanation.

  • @brimckee
    @brimckee 7 дней назад

    To little me, and my daughter… my mother’s frustration and struggle was not your fault. You are so worthy and deserving of love and fulfillment.

  • @biancas2639
    @biancas2639 7 месяцев назад +2

    I recognize a time in my adult life as feeling shame when a man , the gather of my children left me. The feeling of being my best friend and the next day shunned me.

  • @Starstorm111
    @Starstorm111 2 месяца назад +2

    Im still not able to get there. I’m working through cptsd, chronic pain.. abusive horrible childhood.
    There’s a point when I grasp a little wish to live, to be here, to enjoy.. to fantasize I can and I deserve.. there’s like this massive feeling like a BIG NO that invalidates viscerally any chance and I keep in freezing mode.. my body feels tight and rigid. It hurts..
    and feelings are now after 31 years coming back little by little with a lot of help and self isolation so I can feel some peace and silence that helps to relax.. but where I would love to be is outside in the world as from the begging of my life.. I had to accept patience cause my inner child needs to be, just to be, and there’s this massive block like a big and heavy energy all over me.. pushing down.. I can feel the heaviness .
    On other side my adult self who wants to develo as a woman and one day be a mother and a partner.. is trying to teach this little .. and help her leave the inner cave where she’s hiding..
    But shame.. this big NO.. I just hope it one days leaves my cells.. I’m doing all that I can

  • @michaelglass9604
    @michaelglass9604 2 месяца назад +1

    ❤ the opposite of shame is mercy!

  • @ElyseScott-hv7ns
    @ElyseScott-hv7ns День назад

    To the adolescent within, "You are a beautiful person, this feeling of emptiness isn't yours to carry, let me care for you."

  • @meri.dilkidhadkan
    @meri.dilkidhadkan 7 месяцев назад +7

    No for me it was my own parents unfortunately they were the ones who caused so much of it as a young kid

  • @sophiabarnes5086
    @sophiabarnes5086 8 месяцев назад +14

    Thank you for explaining shame in this way.

  • @mgn1621
    @mgn1621 5 месяцев назад +2

    Its an interesting reflection to look back to high school days. There were the group that I would consider raised in a healthy home and felt loved, they were the group that were very involved in school sports, clubs, activities, etc and had a large group of friends, and then the ‘misfits’, such as myself, they were the ones that skipped out of school, hung out in the smoke pit, weren’t involved in school activities, and befriended each other based on our traumas

  • @asym8
    @asym8 7 месяцев назад +14

    Shame and guilt lve recently discovered are two of the most difficult and emotionally challenging emotions.
    An L plater
    Thanks for this video
    PS- rejection is perishing indeed!

  • @FH-uu1fi
    @FH-uu1fi 6 месяцев назад +13

    Million thanks Dr. Levine! You are an angel on earth helping so many people with your knowledge, experience, love and compassion🙏🏼❤️☀️

  • @ruthzueblin464
    @ruthzueblin464 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you so much Peter. I cannot express in words how much I love your beautiful and caring presence. Thank you for what you bring to us.

  • @brianclifford5650
    @brianclifford5650 29 дней назад

    Thank you so, so much for giving me a way to work towards easing the pain that has trapped me for over 50 years.

  • @gladnessmkhosimkhosi6476
    @gladnessmkhosimkhosi6476 Месяц назад

    Thank you Doctor. I have just discovered your channel. I nearly suffocated because of shame

  • @reneemoore6249
    @reneemoore6249 7 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you very much. Your description is very accurate and I experience it AS YOU describe it. Then I became dysregulated. I don't know any video on shame that doesn't disturb me before a brief solution or exercise is offered. I almost cannot stand it. I resisted turning it off and I would have, had your title not had offered me a bit of relief.
    My point is, is there anyone who does not drag the listener through the shame emotion muck before offering a means of repair? I experienced it again today at lunch with a group from church. I fumbled on a word, and was mocked by :a superior" by his standards I suppose. And I tried my best to recover myself. That feeling of shame and humiliation feels so devastating for that moment. People are viscious baboons sometimes, if you ask me. They ego must be held up at any cost.
    So I did recover without suicide.
    I'd really like to talk to someone like you. You seem to interstate deeply. Thank you.

  • @Starleneschwark
    @Starleneschwark 7 месяцев назад +11

    Thank you, Dr.Levine. You helped me start my healing journey.🙏🙏❤️

  • @OurEternalHome
    @OurEternalHome Месяц назад +2

    The little shamed boy, the abused little boy and the hurt preteen within me are held gently in love.

  • @jeanniecampbell1374
    @jeanniecampbell1374 3 месяца назад +1

    Love ❤️ this Guy here and his gentle calm voice .

  • @riririri7957
    @riririri7957 7 месяцев назад +6

    Im crying

    • @frv6610
      @frv6610 7 месяцев назад

      Oh what a crybaby u r

  • @sabrinafoeaman7820
    @sabrinafoeaman7820 7 месяцев назад +3

    After doing the movement, I feel so much lighter, energy movement an relief. So grateful for seeing this

  • @willd6215
    @willd6215 6 месяцев назад +5

    I didnt know i had toxic shame until my brother told me that my mother slapped me across the face as a very young child. It all came flooding back and everything made more sense. My behaviour was shame based. I am trying to be mindful of all shame based thoughts but they are constant and require great dedication to handle. Sometimes they inform my actions when I am tired or slip but I am hopeful and proud I've broken the shame cycle by not shaming my kids.

    • @marciestoddard730
      @marciestoddard730 2 месяца назад +1

      You ahould be proud for not shaming your kids so many do unconsciously. 🙏

  • @magneticsaraify
    @magneticsaraify 7 месяцев назад +4

    I have been waiting for this for a long time. Thank you ❤

  • @robobunny4641
    @robobunny4641 7 месяцев назад +1

    Really appreciate this. Thank You Peter ❤

  • @FinnishCommando
    @FinnishCommando 11 дней назад

    This man oozes empathy & sympathy❤ thank you fellow human

  • @ryankelly1840
    @ryankelly1840 8 месяцев назад +9

    This makes so much sense to me.. Thank you so much

  • @aurelasenequa7777
    @aurelasenequa7777 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this precious tool❤

  • @mattorero
    @mattorero 7 месяцев назад +2

    Beautiful. Extraordinarily helpful. Thank you ❤

  • @cosmicsoul7773
    @cosmicsoul7773 7 месяцев назад +5

    Thank you. Enjoyed this episode.

  • @healthyfreesoul
    @healthyfreesoul 6 месяцев назад +4

    Great talk! Luv how he connected taking on the shame, the badness, as an attempt to control the chaos/abuse. Also appreciate that he speaks with emotion, not the monotone.

  • @aichi337
    @aichi337 6 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you, much love and gratefulness!

  • @rebeccamcdowell6255
    @rebeccamcdowell6255 23 дня назад

    Thank you Dr. Levine.

  • @HelenLoshny
    @HelenLoshny 8 месяцев назад +8

    Thank you! Very powerful

  • @zillahmills6549
    @zillahmills6549 8 месяцев назад +10

    Thank you so much ❤

  • @carriefingsolomon
    @carriefingsolomon 8 месяцев назад +16

    Beautiful explanation and recommendations❤

  • @pw2341
    @pw2341 7 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you for your work

  • @Sweet_Southern_Pecan
    @Sweet_Southern_Pecan 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you so much for this.💕💕💕

  • @pb7353
    @pb7353 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yes! It is so hard to explain to others how deeply imprinted shame is on your operating system when it happens to you very very young. And from a parent or other trusted caregiver.

  • @user-jo5to1qv7q
    @user-jo5to1qv7q 7 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you so much!

  • @siobhanfoley-findingpeace
    @siobhanfoley-findingpeace 8 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you dear Peter

  • @manuelgomezabad3722
    @manuelgomezabad3722 7 месяцев назад +5

    Thank you Peter ,, so clear and on point. Thank you

  • @kayokk-
    @kayokk- Месяц назад

    Thanks for your words and passing on the understanding.