Loki Gets Therapized: How to Deal With Button Pushers!

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  • Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
  • We all know them. The people in your life that know just what to do to make your blood boil. So what's the best way to deal with them? Watch this video for tips on how to deal with the button pushers in your life.
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    00:00 Button pushers
    02:00 Loki clip
    04:00 Deflecting
    06:00 Accountability
    10:00 Follow through
    #loki #mendedlight #jonathandecker

Комментарии • 104

  • @sundragon7703
    @sundragon7703 4 месяца назад +125

    The tactic of "staying silent" with button pushers is double edged. Yes, by not arguing, the act can work as you state. However, if there are bystanders, they only hear one narrative. Depending on culture, silence can be interpreted as a validation with respect to the button pusher's narrative. I offer an alternative tactic: Calmly and to the point, repeat the button pusher's point. Then calmly and to the point, refute the accusations and agree if possible. With those points made, then walk away. (And don't flip/flop)

    • @TAHOEkaleidonaut
      @TAHOEkaleidonaut 4 месяца назад +14

      This. And you might have button pushers with followers/followings that back up said button pushers. Or worse, said button pusher is a Narcissist, & you’re a target, or worse their favorite punching bag.

    • @sergioruiz733
      @sergioruiz733 4 месяца назад +23

      Whenever anything like this happens, if people parrot my accuser, I just say, "Watch my actions in the future and see if they validate their words. Its your choice, your mind, use it rather then have someone make it for you."

    • @signalfire15
      @signalfire15 4 месяца назад

      This is so valid!

    • @evilkitty1994
      @evilkitty1994 4 месяца назад

      Yes. Men staying silent as women were treated as second class citizens for years, white people staying silent as black people were enslaved and now Native American women end up raped and/or missing by the hundreds....this is why these catastrophes continue. Be loud. Speak up against bullies publicly. Don't engage in private. Go no contact if possible. Staying silent is equal to a good man doing nothing and letting evil win. When bullies are met with strength and consequences they often learn to stop bullying. They get away with it so it continues.

    • @butterflybri3168
      @butterflybri3168 4 месяца назад +5

      I feel this!!! I also thought about How much should we care what the bystander thinks? Especially if they’re willing to believe the button pusher in the first place.

  • @lindacarmichael6762
    @lindacarmichael6762 4 месяца назад +48

    It would be interesting to see one of these videos about the character of Sylvie. Childhood trauma response, ptsd, hyper vigilance and hyper independence, unable
    to express emotions even though she feels deeply. She was treated badly in the show, it didn’t recognise she was damaged by her terrible life.

  • @Arezoo298195
    @Arezoo298195 4 месяца назад +16

    I was bullied a lot as a child and I tried the silent tactic. It didn’t work in my case. They escalated to stealing my things and attempting physical harm when i wouldn’t respond. Telling teachers and parents also made it worse. What finally worked to stop them was a friend fighting them when they started at me. Sometimes you can’t stay quiet. Some people need to feel what it’s like standing on the other side.

  • @papl20
    @papl20 4 месяца назад +21

    i really really hope that you continue doing the show because the ending truly broke us, it was heartbreaking but it felt so meant to be. How much he went from your lower class villain to the biggest savior of the mcu.

  • @shannonprice2711
    @shannonprice2711 4 месяца назад +74

    Loki was amazing but honestly as much as I loved it it also broke me because I understand the ending fully. What its like to love that deeply and what it is to end up the way it did. Trying not to leave spoilers.

    • @joyc.e.7511
      @joyc.e.7511 4 месяца назад +18

      Same. On one hand I was so proud of him because of how he's changed. But on the other hand I was so sad.

  • @ozuray4307
    @ozuray4307 4 месяца назад +38

    I vividly remember in high school a time where I poorly reacted to a button pusher. Long story short, I had asked one of my friends if hockey sometimes made him feel upset (he complained about it a lot despite claiming to love it, which I get sometimes you can both love and hate something). He got upset at me for asking it and his girlfriend found out and she got furious at me. She claimed that I was the reason he suffered depression and she listed all these horrible things about me, reminded me of bad things I did in my past. I reacted with fury in return and there was a big fight. I turned off my phone and went to my dad crying, telling him what happened as he held me close. Once I was calm again he asked me if she gave me any chance to explain my side before she made jabs at me, I told him no. He told me "There are people out there that are just itching for a fight and they've already made up their mind about you. There's no point in arguing with someone who isn't willing to listen. Let them make a fool of themselves, the good people in this world will know the truth or at least be willing to hear it." Since he told me that I either walk way or simply say "Cool, we'll talk when you can treat me like a human being." and walk away or ignore them.

    • @claudiaw2078
      @claudiaw2078 4 месяца назад +7

      🙌🏻🔥 damn, im gonna write it down on my notes of what ur dad told you. Words of wisdom right there.

    • @KxNOxUTA
      @KxNOxUTA 4 месяца назад +4

      Yup, the "Do not give them power by giving them the reaction they want of you"-lesson. Once ppl learn that that's a "choosing which wolf to feed" principle, it's like unlocking another motivation to actually stop before reacting. Because the urge to not "let them win" now has two or more pathways to go, than just the "impulsive first learned reaction". Once ppl learn that the type of response influences the outcome, they can learn to actually make space for that process :D
      Usually the first thing they learn is "counter attack as fast and loud as possible". A "hiss back when hissed on".
      Ppl who lean towards freeze, flee or fawn responses, tend to have different types struggles in conflict situations, so they tend to have to learn this principle in other manner. e.g. the internal manner of not feeding the parts of you that pull you out of situations and thus disable your ability to respond to them etc.

  • @hussainjeragh1412
    @hussainjeragh1412 4 месяца назад +10

    There is saying that i dont remember correctly, but i standby it alot that says dont play with a pig in mud because he will get you dirty while he enjoys playing in it. Its basically means dont lower yourself to someone whos trying to piss you ofs level, because theyll beat with experience

  • @kzisnbkosplay3346
    @kzisnbkosplay3346 4 месяца назад +11

    Watching this right after a button pushing incident with my son. Your timing never ceases to amaze

  • @CrankyGrandma
    @CrankyGrandma 4 месяца назад +9

    Loki season 2 was amazing. Season 1 laid groundwork for Loki facing himself but season 2 showed where that could lead. Unbelievably good show. I’m trying to avoid spoilers! But for those who gave up on marvel, trust me, this show was incredible.

  • @luciapitti1722
    @luciapitti1722 4 месяца назад +11

    I was diagnosed with ODD in the 90's and yes, the porpoise of a button pusher is to get some emotions out of you, so, if you give them none, they have no ability to defend themselves, that's how I opened myself up to my first therapist. I still remember that I tried to get under her skin and she ignored me, to get my history from my mum… To this day, I still remember how much I cried that session.

  • @mittri1990
    @mittri1990 4 месяца назад +6

    As a person with social anxiety and who does not talk a lot. I have found out that it's really hard for them to push my button when I give no reaction and no response. Cause most of the times they have tried to they look for some sort of reaction from you of their success. There was one time a person tried to push my buttons and when I gave no response he confronted me about it and came up to me blocking me. I took a pause cause that has never happened before so was a bit surprised then I realised what happened and simply responded with ...oh! Oh, I don't talk to jerks." and just moved past him. I will never forget the look on his face he just stood there dumbfounded.

  • @francescaromanabelli9142
    @francescaromanabelli9142 4 месяца назад +20

    Great stuff! I would love to see Loki in season 1 & 2 on Cinema Therapy, curious about Alan's perspective about television direction and character too, from narcissist to take a solitary, definitive path (trying to avoid spoilers)

  • @nellebolton7910
    @nellebolton7910 4 месяца назад +6

    1:24 just saying that Brad feels absolutely perfectly cast. Rafael Casal was an excellent choice for "button pusher extraordinaire" Brad.

  • @GaijinBangya
    @GaijinBangya 4 месяца назад +6

    The problem me and my mom face with my dad is we are not allowed to walk away. If we hold our ground and try to leave the situation, it instigates him into rage mode where he chases us, throws things at us, and starts berating harder and threatening us. So how are we supposed to leave the situation?

    • @elllikesmusic
      @elllikesmusic Месяц назад

      have you tried to look for proffesional help outside? this seems abusive.

  • @Trilingualeks
    @Trilingualeks 4 месяца назад +2

    It's super hard though when you can't see the 'button-pushing' coming and you can't help but be put off guard when it happens and the emotions take over. You also can't be hyper-vigilant all the time and expect this scenario with every interaction. Once the emotions come I find it impossible to get into a calm state....no amount of breathing and attempted calmness can get me to a place where I can think clearly. This sounds much easier than it is.

  • @egsbenedict
    @egsbenedict 4 месяца назад +8

    I know you mean the Marvel Loki and I know I am not a therapist sorry, But I have always felt like Loki has always wanted to be a hero and loved like Thor but who he is and how others see him has basically pigeon held him into being the bad guy role, I am so happy that at least Marvel is allowing him to grow and realize he is not what others make him into and if he wants to be good, All he has to do is be good

    • @winterwolf211
      @winterwolf211 4 месяца назад +2

      I don't know if Loki ever complained about this in S1 or S2, but they complained that if they do good they get pruned. If they run away, they get pruned. If they don't attack, they get pruned.
      Which is a part that I really touched me with Loki, that he has no choice but to be a villain, that his only canonical redemption arc is his death to Thanos. I'm glad he's the god of time now.

  • @gabrielearle9378
    @gabrielearle9378 4 месяца назад +8

    IM SO HAPPY YOU FINALLY DID LOKI!!! Ive been waiting for so long

  • @jacksparrowismydaddy
    @jacksparrowismydaddy 4 месяца назад +4

    I've never been able to successfully deal with a button pusher. that's why I'm here. I gotta say I am loving the owning your problems then redirecting the conversation back to the task at hand. I wish I was taught that earlier. attacking my flaws has always broken me. I ruminate on them too much. I use it as a catalyst for change but I still ruminate on them.

  • @elfteiroh
    @elfteiroh 4 месяца назад +6

    I loved that scene, and I KNEW there would be a lot to work with for you!
    And I did spot the marvelous acting Tom did, his face tell us soooooo much.
    Thank you!

  • @Valjao67
    @Valjao67 4 месяца назад +2

    Loki season 2 was incredible as Loki goes on with his journey to evolve until he has to deal with this bittersweet end. This analysis you made about button pusher is amazing and i think very helpful even if it’s difficult not to fall in the trap.
    I faced someone like that in my work. She was the associate of my boss and she chooses me as her target because i was new, young and weak (she knew i’ve been recruited after 3 years off to fight a cancer). She bullied me but the most hurtful was that she knew how to hurt me in pointing my weaknesses, fears melted with lies. It has been painful but a great lesson. I tried to reason, to point her lies, to fight back but nothing worked because at this times, i was unable to face what was true in her words and go beyond.
    I decided to leave the safety of this job to create my own law firm with my best friend. I was bitter to have left without saying to my boss how unfair and bad his associate was.
    10 years later, i understood that i did the best thing i had to. I stop trying to fight someone with a twisted mind because she was unable to change. Leaving was the only option. I also faced my weaknesses, my worst fears. I was afraid to never be able to find my place after 3 years of disease just after i finished the bar school, i was afraid to be ill again, to face death again, i was afraid to never be able to be a good lawyer because i was not tough enough. Without knowing it, i faced this fears with the help of my best friend. I made a leap of faith, accepting to take full responsability for my work, my decisions, my weaknesses and sometimes my mistakes. It has been a tough journey but this awful woman helped me to grow, evolve and face my fear. That’s incredible because 10 years after i meet her again and she acted as if we were best friends. At this time, i felt no more anger, i said hi and go on with a light heart because bitterness cannot last forever if we want to find some happiness in life.

  • @claudiaw2078
    @claudiaw2078 4 месяца назад +3

    13:28 My older sister is one! And actually i deal with her the same way as you talked about in the video! The more i get older, the more i realized she is petty and crave pointless argument cuz she made up her mind about certain things about me and other people or other things she belived in (putting labels, thinks she is always right and smarter than anybody else, etc).
    The self worth issue kinda hit me in the spot. I was bullied by her all my life and being called stupid and not smart enough by her standard (she have higher grades, getting achievements/ trophy etc). Which is partly true at that time. But when i try defend my self and convienced her that her words aint the truth, it is point less. As i getting achievements/ trophy and getting good grades, she doesnt acknowledged it. At that point on, i dont ever think to engage in a conversation with her cuz she thinks her opinions and views are the facts (we're going on spirals here, whats the point bro).

  • @alicial4857
    @alicial4857 4 месяца назад

    I would say that one of the most important things I've learned while dealing with button-pushers is to slow down and take a few seconds to decide whether continuing to talk to them is a good idea. Usually, it hasn't been for me.

  • @wendychavez5348
    @wendychavez5348 3 месяца назад

    I didn't realize, when I started watching this video, that you were referring to my family. I have a sibling with schizophrenia. This person is wicked smart, and uses what they know or find out to push buttons & win arguments, & all the rest of the family struggles to detach with love. I will need to refer to this video repeatedly, & share it with my parents & other siblings. Thank you for showing ways to do what is necessary!

  • @bencohen2422
    @bencohen2422 4 месяца назад +5

    Please make a video about the Netflix show Altered Carbon.

    • @Amitabha108
      @Amitabha108 4 месяца назад

      That has many many layers... What subject would you have Johno tackle? There's CPTSD for Kovacs, and there's villain therapy for the Meth' Laurens Bancroft...

  • @Inug4mi
    @Inug4mi 4 месяца назад +1

    My mom and my ex-husband would do this to me a lot. Usually I would either leave the conversation entirely or I’d push through with whatever I would have to say or change the subject. Usually we would end up talking over each other and they would have to stop to hear what I was saying. I also intentionally spoke softly to make myself even harder to hear. My most effective techniques are bamboozling and confusing.

  • @madelinegarber7860
    @madelinegarber7860 4 месяца назад +4

    My problem is I will try to defend myself if someone says something false about me. It’w sometimes a self worth issue, but it’s also a not wanting them to have the wrong impression issue. I have an ex who’s not so much a button pusher as a boundary pusher. And a gaslighter which only really came to light after we broke up. I’m a very forgiving person and I’m terrible at setting bpundaries. I always try to see the good in people and find justifications for their behavior. I did it with him for years. I put up with way more of his crap than I ever should have. But eventually I had enough and did a lot of the things in this video. Owned up to what I could but also pointed out what he dis wrong and what was neither of our faults. And I also told him what kind of conversations Ididn’t want. So now every time he texts me anything even remotely manipulative or related to our relationship I don’t respond. And when I do call him out on his crap he turns it around on me and is like you changed. You’re not the same girl I knew. You used to be so nice. And I’m like no. I’ve just had enough of your BS and I’m not dealing with it anymore. You brought this on yourself.

  • @bloomins8088
    @bloomins8088 4 месяца назад

    Small aside, but cool that you have a little tag that you are a "licensed professional," and RUclips acknowledges that.

  • @bencohen2422
    @bencohen2422 4 месяца назад +3

    Please make a video about the anime Mushoku Tensei.

  • @doloresvillagomez6465
    @doloresvillagomez6465 4 месяца назад +1

    I have to say, when I saw season 2 of Loki, it took me back to my own journey (of course, I don't have super powers!)
    I'm a person who had struggled with some family acceptance and always trying to do the right thing but making, ( not on purpose) grave mistakes that they have affected my life so bad ,Tom Hiddleston was able to embody that type of person (alien, god) that makes every time the worst mistake instead of a good choice.
    And the feeling that he displayed was exactly the way I was feeling . the anger, the lack of trust, the lies . All that is just self defense. Until I learn to own my own mistakes and accept that all my life was not a waste of time , they were hard lessons to help me correct myself.
    Now I'm able to face anyone who can recalled my past and with a head up I would not deny or blame anyone I would accept my faulty reality and show where I'm standing now thank to those terrible lessons .
    Thank you for therapized Loki I was waiting for you to get to season 2 that was the best of the whole show !!

  • @d-resmin
    @d-resmin 4 месяца назад

    I was a button pusher with my sister. You are right. Her response encouraged me to push her buttons.

  • @cindywadsworth6181
    @cindywadsworth6181 4 месяца назад

    My "adversary" is a family member who's not going anywhere and I don't want them to. That would damage my grandchildren. I've often been verbally attacked by this person and one time I decided I wasn't going to take it. I was going to fight back by defending myself. DID NOT WORK! They only got more aggressive in their attack and I only felt more shredded.

  • @spriken
    @spriken 4 месяца назад

    I like to push buttons back and I found the most marvelous way to do it... If I'm being cussed out, I respond as if they are saying the sweetest things to me.
    "Ah, thank you so much, I love you too. Have a great day!" It really pisses them off and I love it!

  • @madelinegarber7860
    @madelinegarber7860 4 месяца назад +3

    More Loki!!! About time! His show was so good.

  • @FiresCollide
    @FiresCollide 4 месяца назад

    This is a great piece of advice on button pushers in reality, but also for how to deal with internet trolls.

  • @vicknunes88
    @vicknunes88 4 месяца назад

    That was awesome! You should do an episode about Loki's character arc as a whole until the S2 finale 😊

  • @amberbradshaw1461
    @amberbradshaw1461 3 месяца назад

    A 24 reference. Nice😂
    And you just had to add Elsa😂

  • @charlesstovall6825
    @charlesstovall6825 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you because I never expected you to make a video about Loki great job

  • @katarzynadworak1111
    @katarzynadworak1111 4 месяца назад

    Thank you so much 🙏❤️ I needed to hear so much of this ❤

  • @saraanderson7388
    @saraanderson7388 4 месяца назад

    My husbands favorite argument tactic is deflection. Any time i try to talk about something he's done that bothered me (usually relates to our kid), he deflects is back at me over something I did or do. Thank you for this video giving me a new tool to deal with that behavior more effectively. I've tried calling him out on it in the moment, but that just gets an eye roll. I think I will try your tactic and see how it works.

  • @aylababer6920
    @aylababer6920 4 месяца назад

    Thank you ❤ I'm going through this with my sister right now, so this is super helpful

  • @scottb4541
    @scottb4541 4 месяца назад

    Spot on, my friend! It took me many years to learn the lesson of not defending myself to my button pusher. In that time I also learned that you can't have a rational conversation with an irrational person. Towards the very end of that relationship I learned to let that person say whatever they were going to say to me, make whatever accusations they were going to make to me, or say whatever hurtful things that we're going to say to me, and I would just listen, I wouldn't say anything back. And then when they were done, I would say I'm sorry, is there anything I can do to make this right, and then I would go do something nice for them like make them tea. You can practically see the smoke coming out of their ears when they realize that their insults just weren't getting the reaction that they wanted anymore. This taught me how to have peace in the middle of a storm. And then ultimately I had to walk away. I love your channel and your insights man, keep it up!

  • @helencasas2373
    @helencasas2373 4 месяца назад

    Finally!!! I've been wanting for this! You need to make one about Gilmore Girls

  • @sergioruiz733
    @sergioruiz733 4 месяца назад

    This is essentially why my relationships with my family, with my siblings in particular is difficult because we all tend to not see the growth we have all had and only remember who they were, but I think the difficulty in my relationship with my siblings, two of whom are ex addicts, is thattheir undesirable behaviour still comes forth and pointing it out calmly or setting a boundary is seen as not allowing to see them grow. My biggest issue is that when we have an argument and have an argument they jokingly bring up later something I said in a heated moment as if to try to push my buttons. Teasing is a thing in my family that honestly only has the intention of pushing buttons and I loved the response you gave in regards to your interaction with your son. I will use this and remember I am a work in progress and that I need to hold myself accountable, and try to hone on what I can do for myself and respect that.

  • @Manbearpig444
    @Manbearpig444 4 месяца назад +1

    I loved to see you theapize bojack "a horse walks into rehab" episode when bojack does therapy

  • @larssjostrom6565
    @larssjostrom6565 4 месяца назад

    I had to deal with button pushers recently. They have power and I don't, so I can only keep my distance from them for awhile.

  • @amberbradshaw1461
    @amberbradshaw1461 4 месяца назад

    I really wanted you and Alan to talk about Loki season 2 together on your other channel 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @paulineelric8761
    @paulineelric8761 4 месяца назад +1

    Last year I had a fight with one of my old friend (1) that I have no contact with anymore. Because Me und and my best friend were worried because another friend (2) was in a toxic relationship. At first friend (2) was honest to my best friend but after some time friend (2) sad that he wasn't bad to her and we had no trust in her.
    A few years ago we had a big fight because of that. And last year me and my friend (1) discussed it a little. What she complained most about was the fact that I barely got in touch. And yes I did.
    First I'd tried to but she never replayed or she never showed up.
    (And she didn't tried it either)
    I was just so busy that I barely had the energy for it. Besides at this time was covid a big thing so it was hard to meet someone. AND even so I had long time ago the feeling that we would grown apart.
    I Told her that. And the only thing she exepted was that we were grown apart. So she ended our friendship. And I'm completly fine with it.
    Oh and she claimed that we or my best friend bullied friend (2) because of her weight. But big suprise we never did that.
    It's sad that it ended that way but shit happens.

  • @chavitanwar2126
    @chavitanwar2126 4 месяца назад

    The timing of this video! I just had a heated argument(including threats of bodily harm and verbal abuse)with one of my flatmates who does that all the time!

  • @vzabuzova
    @vzabuzova 4 месяца назад

    I love your qualified opinion so so much! thank you!

  • @claudiaw2078
    @claudiaw2078 4 месяца назад

    About damn time! Still waitin hero therapy in cinema theraphy! Waitin more eps for loki get theraphized!❤
    My fav thing about loki marvel tv series is loki's character development through out his debut from films to tv show. He knows what kinda god he needed to be and find his glorious purpose instead of just help others to achieve their most potential.

  • @Lowenaaa
    @Lowenaaa 4 месяца назад

    Hello !! Love your videos, I just noticed we can hear the echo of the place you are in. It would be soooo much better with a room without one !

  • @divax0x060
    @divax0x060 4 месяца назад +2

    Loki content ❤

  • @user-bv7cc4eh3o
    @user-bv7cc4eh3o 2 месяца назад

    I think I can be my own button pushers, and in the past, critical comments from classmates/people I used to know were my button pushers because they knew what to say to bring me down.

  • @sameaston9587
    @sameaston9587 4 месяца назад +1

    If you wanna see another good Owen Wilson performance, check out Midnight in Paris. Actually a good movie to diagnose.

    • @sameaston9587
      @sameaston9587 4 месяца назад +2

      JUst remembered Tom is also in MiP

  • @StKrane
    @StKrane 4 месяца назад

    Accountability is sexy. Absolutely agree 👍🏻

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  4 месяца назад

      It's the sexiest thing there is.

  • @lesliesantos8595
    @lesliesantos8595 4 месяца назад

    How funny i was thinking about watching loki and thor...and hoped youd cover these heroes lol

  • @marcelabustamante2005
    @marcelabustamante2005 4 месяца назад

    I'll start by saying I love your videos, and they've helped me a lot. I have a request. Please state that you will include major spoilers at the beginning of the video. You stated there were mild spoilers at the beginning so I let it play while I was in the shower. Mid-video you said you were going to give a major spoiler. I started singing loudly so I couldn't hear it....

  • @AceSpadeThePikachu
    @AceSpadeThePikachu 4 месяца назад

    Well, in Loki'as defense in this scene, it was an interrogation. He was playing the "bad cop" routine to get vital information out of a perp to save countless lives. Not that I would ever condone torture, even against a criminal, but the urgency of the situation left Loki and Mobius with few options. Though ironically, Loki actually handled this interrogation a loot better than Batman did in The Dark Knight when the Joker got under his skin.
    I'm kinda sad you didn't include my favourite part of the episode which happened beween these two scene where Mobius storms off in a huff with Loki following and reassuring him the whole way and then they sit down and have pie. Loki calmly admitted to Mobius that "losing it" is something that happens to everybody as he recounts how Tony Stark got under his skin in the climactic battle of The Avengers.

  • @KxNOxUTA
    @KxNOxUTA 4 месяца назад

    Alright, Now I could watch this. Thanks for reminding me I had this on my watch list LOL.
    Well apparently ... I just came back from such a situation. I have a parent who's utilising tasks as vengeance. Aka they don't treat tasks like tasks. They're personally offended over not being able to force tasks onto me (I'm struggling with executive function and actually need accommodation to even consider tackling those tasks that they frame as "easy", but they're actually hard for me AND they're hard for them, thus they put so much effort into trying to push them my way and present them as reasonably small requests :'D How about 'Nope!').
    They're constantly trying to push my buttons. They don't really know positive ways to run a family and they're not really willing to get input from me on me literally teaching them how they CAN successfully have my support. They're jealous of others getting my support (cause they are safe for me to support and also are better at respecting my 'No!').
    So once they can't push my button they resolve to unsuccessfully trying threats and/or trying to shame and frame themselves as pitiful abandoned victims (well there's a grain of truth in there for sure). Which also does not work. I'm a very compassionate and empathetic person, but I've thankfully learned how to apply or not apply it to them, in particular.
    And then the next thing that happens, is they drag up some task that IS actually reasonable. Aka it indeed needs doing and is indeed relatively low effort. And I usually can agree to that, to get them off my back. But every time I just sigh to myself cause it's really just about them needing to push SOMETHING my way just to feel better about themselves. It's tiring. And it's very unhelpful for my executive dysfunction. I'm literally more functional whenever they're away for holiday. I need a "get in relax mode" period before I can start tackling my executive function struggles with techniques and without the extra workload of needing to basically interpret each task in a "political" manner and context of the management of their emotions and behaviours. (=_=)
    Tragically, the only way to build up my degree of resilience - to my knowledge from myself and the few other ppl I saw having a similar degree of it - is rolling with some rounds of existential "dark night of the soul" and learn to actually embrace death & radically accept life. Aka to become aware life is not safe, you can still choose to make the best of anything AND should you ever fail, then death is a valid choice, too. Fear of death is one of the most frequently used tools utilised by ppl in their abusive actions. When you learn how death is as much a friend to you as life can be, the buttons vanish. There's nothing to threaten you with. So you have the freedom of actual choice in how you want or don't want to apply yourself in life.
    You know how some ppl return empowered and awakened to a degree after heavy accidents? There's a psychological and emotional pathway to get there, too. It's just both very ugly ways and very "not recommended" :'D They also come at the price of making anything "motivation" more active work, too.

  • @corazondemelon7308
    @corazondemelon7308 4 месяца назад

    Accountability is TIGHT

  • @stephanc6138
    @stephanc6138 4 месяца назад

    idk. i would probably go "yeah so? you want to be a villan too?"
    be indifferent.

  • @CarolinayAna93
    @CarolinayAna93 4 месяца назад

    Hello. LOVE your videos here and on CINEMA therapy
    I Would love if you therapized CORIOLANUS Snow from HUNGER GAMES. And Alicent And Rhaenyra from HOUSE OF THE DRAGON. Those 2 really need your help

  • @adrianrr18
    @adrianrr18 4 месяца назад +1

    How do you deal with a spouse who is a button pusher? Imagine they are a very sweet person when things are going well but when an argument starts they pull out all their claws and try to push all your buttons... what do you do then?

    • @evilkitty1994
      @evilkitty1994 4 месяца назад

      A couples therapist will help. This is a technique used to change the subject instead of dealing with the actual argument. Agree with his assessments if he is correct and get back to the subject at hand and let him know he is changing the subject. Don't let him. Men do this a lot with feminist issues. We mention an issue most women deal with, and they change the subject with what aboutisms instead of having an actual answer. Let him know that is a fallacy, you recognize it as the manupulation it is and go back to your point. Do it calmly.

    • @adrianrr18
      @adrianrr18 4 месяца назад

      @@evilkitty1994 I need to clarify some things because you got the genders and the issues reversed. I am the male part in the hetero relationship. That being said, I am more feminist than her because she is pretty conservative. The problem is that I am pretty lazy and don't help in the house as much as I should. Taking that into account, should I just eat her abuse when she pushes my buttons because I am also disrespecting her by not helping as much as I should? And I do mean push buttons. She doesn't just come and ask "Can you please do the dishes?". It's more like "Huh, has the lazy boy done anything useful today?" "Or what has the useless done so far?" and I can't even begin to write the things she would say to me if I push back.

    • @joyc.e.7511
      @joyc.e.7511 4 месяца назад +1

      ​@@adrianrr18oh jeez. See, any point she has is immediately reduced by talking to you that way. My mom talks to me and my siblings like that too, always has. And any desire to actually help more with the chores vanishes. I know she works hard and has a lot of pressure on her, but when she's testing us badly and being an asshole, what human being would want to help then? Funnily enough, I do more chores around the house when she's not around, so she doesn't nitpick everything I do. Sorry for getting off topic, but honestly, I think you need to confront your wife about the way she talks to you. Admit that you don't help out as much as you should (the accountability) and that you're genuinely sorry for that and you'll try to do better. But you also need to let her know that the way she talks to you (repeat the same phrases she says to you to her, emphasizing how they make you feel) is not ok. She should point out when your not helping and things you can do to help, but calling you useless is cruel and going too far.

    • @evilkitty1994
      @evilkitty1994 4 месяца назад

      @adrianrr18 you should ask her in those times to speak to you more respectfully and tell her you will not speak to a person being so rude. When she is polite, you will gladly hear her. Say it softly and consistently. Also...do your part of adulting. But if you can't speak together, I would leave. If you can't speak your mind without being humiliated and it's happening to the point where you fear talking at all...it's time. She should fear pushback. We all should fear the consequences of our actions when we treat people badly.

  • @andrewfeistner3384
    @andrewfeistner3384 4 месяца назад

    If Disney+ wasn’t so expensive I’d watch the S2 finale on repeat so much

  • @KxNOxUTA
    @KxNOxUTA 4 месяца назад

    Wait ... season 2? Nooooo, I can't wach yet. I've not watched yet :'D Awww OK saving for later then!

  • @hazard0707
    @hazard0707 4 месяца назад

    what do you do if the button pusher is a parent from a child's perspective and as their adult child?

  • @user-td5zx4nv1b
    @user-td5zx4nv1b 3 месяца назад

    Let it go.

  • @derhak727
    @derhak727 4 месяца назад

    ok but that shadow image behind the glass was a little disturbing lol

  • @SpaceUnkk
    @SpaceUnkk 4 месяца назад

    Never accept criticism from anyone you wouldn’t go to for advice

  • @bencohen2422
    @bencohen2422 4 месяца назад +3

    Please make a video about the TV show Fringe.

  • @lowings848
    @lowings848 4 месяца назад

    Never seen any of these Marvel movies past the Spiderman that Andrew Garfield was in - But based off this I have decided that I like Loki.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  4 месяца назад +1

      Loki is really good.

    • @lowings848
      @lowings848 4 месяца назад

      @@MendedLight Thanks, that's good to know. I tend to confuse mischievous with malignant narcissist's behavior upon initial assessment. Innately, I understand that some people feel unimportant (and act out) and others can't bear to face their shame about feeling unimportant. Loki doesn't seem to be plagued by that though plus his intent is good so.. I accept.
      I wouldn't want to lose the soft spot in my heart I have for those kind of people. (The mischievous.)

  • @cdmay4
    @cdmay4 4 месяца назад

    Spoiler galore Do not read if you haven't watched because I'm terrible trying to avoid spoilers;
    Dude, I loved season 2. Bittersweet ending. I know it's really fitting but I also feel bad & slightly worried. Cause like if someone wanted to go out there and mess with him, he's kinda helpless, and a lot of people like Thor in particular don't even know what he did. Still he gets to be a hero, a God and sit on a thrown and he's still got plenty of glory and made several more meaningful connections. Also I'm pretty sure that technically made him a time God right? Way more than one of lies and that's pretty badass.

  • @Buttonpusher42
    @Buttonpusher42 4 месяца назад

    Jonathan, big fan... don't hate me because of my username 😅
    "Button Pusher" has a multitude of non-combative meanings also

  • @TheAutoman217
    @TheAutoman217 4 месяца назад

    What if I *am* a button pusher? OwO

  • @ConsciencepartyUSA
    @ConsciencepartyUSA 4 месяца назад

    Too bad world leaders can’t really do the same thing though huh? Bc it is just so depressing to hear what’s going on in Ukraine, Palestine and anywhere else that’s going on so terribly right now. Even with corrupt business that would just love to take short cuts just so that they would get money so much sooner and I don’t care who would get hurt or killed in the process.

  • @whimsy339
    @whimsy339 4 месяца назад

    I'm not a parent, but I would think that it's not a good idea to use your children as examples. You're opening them up to ridicule and bullying if their peers find your channel and hear what you say about them. I think a good rule of thumb for adults who have a social media presence is to not put video of their children online or to talk about their life. I think it's just asking for trouble.

  • @PhantomQueenOne
    @PhantomQueenOne 4 месяца назад

    No, button pushers tend to up their games into physical violence.

    • @SellersChantal
      @SellersChantal 3 месяца назад

      Not always. Oftentimes psychological abuse and mind games are much more harmful. Brad knows that Loki and Mobius are already traumatized. He doesn’t need to lay a finger on them to hurt them.

    • @PhantomQueenOne
      @PhantomQueenOne 3 месяца назад

      @@SellersChantal It did with my abusive, first bf. He was a real POS.

  • @RunningGuy1980
    @RunningGuy1980 4 месяца назад

    Whine whine whine...

  • @richardchisenhall387
    @richardchisenhall387 4 месяца назад +4

    Spoilers!
    .
    Brad was right, Loki couldn't win by being the hero (fixing the loom) he had to be the "villain" and destroy everything so something new could grow