Moana Gets Therapized
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2024
- Moana Gets Therapized //
You do not have to be defined by your trauma. I used to think that trauma recovery meant guiding people from victim to survivor and I now know, this is not who you are. No matter your past, we are here to help.
#MoanaGetsTherapized
#Therapized
#MendedLight
• Moana Gets Therapized
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"If you believe that you're broken, then you'll stay that way." That hit me. And you're right, you can't heal until you let go. Thank you for all you do.
Believing you can and will heal is an important starting place. Having hope. You are just in one season of your life, and can transition to another.
Was just about to say the same.
*Hugs because I feel we could all use one*
@@MendedLight hope is everything
I think we need to note Teka's bravery here as well. When she saw Moana hold up the heart and part the sea, she could have charged in, killed Moana, killed Maui, taken the heart, and skulked away. Instead, she cooled her anger, laid down her arms, and gave Moana the chance to set things right. The reason we have so much rage and hate today is because we're afraid. We've been hurt, and we're afraid we're going to get hurt again. Like a wounded animal, our first instinct when someone approaches, even when they're trying to heal us, is to lash out and push them away. However, we will never achieve peace if we don't give peace a chance. You don't need to be the first one to lower your weapon but, in that case, you do need to be the second.
Moana singing the truth helped.
You can clearly see how desperate she truly is (not anger, not hate but desperation!) when the ocean parted and the way was free finally
I wrote down your last sentence because I think it’s a great quote that needs to be said more often. Thank you!
I am so glad someone else got this. The first time (and if I’m being honest, every time) I saw this, I was moved to tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I even wrote a poem titled Tefiti, filled with rage and triggers, but it ends in peace. Because it does not define me. I choose to give life to my surroundings. I choose to focus on those I love. I could be an advocate for survivors, but I’m going to teach my children to be kind yet wary. I want them to recognize the signs of an abuser so they don’t have to live through what I did.
You are doing incredible work in your life and in the lives of those around you.
I felt that way too. It made me cry and it moved me. But i didn't fully understand why.
I feel that, your comment is very heart warming. There is hope for the future.
I was sobbing by the end. It was like he put me under a microscope🔬 and he was like "okay what do we go here? This isn't helpful, get this out. Replace it with a dash of strength. Well that's not very nice (Gollem impression insert here) Leave now and never come back! And add self-grace."
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who cried watching Moana
I always, ALWAYS, cry with this scene of the movie! "this is not who you are, YOU KNOW who you are" gets me comforted every time!
One thing I find interesting is that Moana's great 'I am' moment is to accept all parts of herself, the voyager, the daughter, the princess of the village, and then to declare herself Moana, hurling it out into the world as a joyous and defiant statement of 'here I am, all of me, bring it'.
I love this movie so much
That didn't occur to me, but now I realize why I love this movie more than most "disobeying overbearing parent to find self" movies. It's not cynical or one sided. She sees every side of the situation and takes the action she believes will be best even if her father or maui don't always see her side she lives her truth and embraces more than one side of her identity. She isn't spiteful and her choices are not just glorified acts of rebellion. She is simply living her truth and everything else falls into place as she does so
I started crying watching this, as a 30 year old guy i don't cry. I experienced childhoog trauma and it's been hard but I'm now seeking a therapist and healing from it. A lot of it is thanks to you guys. Keep it up.
So glad to hear this. Our best wishes to you in your journey.
@@MendedLight thank you, very much appreciated.
More power to you, you've got this!
I can sooo relate to that (the contrast between one's "usual tendency" vs. what ONE particular scene can trigger in the same person)
Here's my story, related to that movie scene phenomenon:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends. WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain! So much so, that if I could go back in time, I would have just let it out.
After the movie, I actually had the urge to seek out more movies that could trigger me like that, because it just really felt like something had gotten uncomfortably bottled up.
Based on some research later on, I found that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying (which are presumed to be an attempt by the body to dull the original painful stimulus, since endorphins act like natural opioids.)
So... yeah, I now have an entirely new perspective on crying, but it took until age 30 to realize it!
@@sathvamp1 that's exactly what I've been doing since elementary because I recognized that I suppress my emotions too much. The only way I can release it is by having my attention on something else (music, movie, book, etc) that I can't possibly stop myself from crying. Obviously I do it when I'm alone but if I feel comfortable around a person I won't mind as much. I've always been in tune with my emotions ever since I realized that my level of anger wasn't healthy 😅
I remember watching Moana for the first time a couple of years ago and when in the end she said these words "they have stolen the heart from inside you", these words struck me so much that I believed I am about to faint and could not stop crying for some time after that. All I can think was "it's just a Disney movie, you stupid! 😅" and today I cried again watching this video ❤️
Disney or not, it's powerful and poignant :)
Definitely NOT "stupid" !! :)
And yeah, don't underestimate the legit tearjerker potential of "Disney movies"-- after all, don't forget that "Old Yeller" is ALSO a Disney movie :P
For some reason the main part of Moana that gets me choked up / tearing up is when the ocean first starts playing with her when she's a baby. For some reason that strikes me as just so cute and beautiful!
I watched Moana at least a dozen times with my daughter, and couldn’t figure out why I was having such a strong emotional reaction to this scene- tearful, lump in my throat, etc. I felt it necessary to shut down my feelings, afraid that it would be overwhelming, nonsensical, and I didn’t want to break down over a Disney movie in front of my kid. After this recurred with subsequent viewings, I’d find reasons to leave the room just before this scene. I told myself it was just the musical score (which is definitely intense and evocative)- but I couldn’t make myself watch it alone, to try to get to the bottom of it.
Thank you for creating a safe, virtual space to explore tough emotions and traumas, and thank you for your compassionate, validating commentary.
I can sooo relate to what you are describing! But be assured, this is a triggering scene for MOST people so it's totally normal! :)
But also below is a story showing why I can relate to what you'd said:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends. WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain!
But, what happened later was REALLY interesting to me: After the movie, I realized I was CRAVING MORE TEARJERKERS. That was SO unusual for me, so I did a bit of research and found out that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying. Even though I hadn't ACTUALLY cried, it appeared as though endorphins had STILL gotten released. And... endorphins can make you "want" more of whatever released them in the first place, lol.
So, I basically went from tear-fearer to tearjerker-seeker with one Pixar movie, lol.
But... yeah, don't underestimate to legit tearjerker potential of "Disney movies"-- after all, don't forget that "Old Yeller" is ALSO a Disney movie :P
Even though I do actively seek out tearjerkers now, it's (so far) been for myself- I STILL don't think I could let myself cry in front of fellow viewers. But... we'll see :P
I'm curious if you'll revisit Moana and how she therapizes Maui through self defeat and doubt. Thank you for your work, and my three year old watching with me thanks the man on the screen too.
That's a great idea! It's very, very possible! Hello to you 3 year old :)
I think the choice of the song was particularly beautiful in the sequence you showed because of its original meaning, in the original lyrics. The song was composed to honor the memories of school girls who died in a tragic fire in their school dormitory, in Tuvalu. The lyrics describe the grief and healing of their loved ones. The original title is Loimata E Maligi. You should check it out, it is beautiful and touching. I like that in Moana, the song is also used in the context of healing Te Fiti.
I did not know that! So cool. I will look it up.
I had heard about that before watching the movie. I cried so much in the theater at the beginning of the film. It adds a deeper meaning to the whole movie for me.
I've been watching this for almost 4 years as a foster mom trying to be Moana! It's hard to stay steady when trauma rage is directed at you 24/7! Feels good to have someone else really get my favorite scene! I've wanted to suggest it on cinema therapy for over a year but thought it was too short and specific!
We did a Moana ep there, but if we ever come back to it we'll include this. Here on ML we'll do these short, specific scenes.
Oh I loved the Moana episode too! This scene is just close to my heart!
This reminds me of Sara Bareilles singing "She Used to be Mine." Missing the person you used to be; the person that was taken from you by trauma.
This movie had a profound effect on me. I chose to embrace my light again. I chose to embrace all that I love in the world again. I'm not sure I was aware at the time what changed. By movies end something had shifted inside me. This is the true beauty of Cinema and always will be 💕
This is beautiful as heck. Thank you for this.
All the tears! It was such a powerful scene. I wouldn't say I've experienced trauma but I have been struggling with depression and on my bad days it does feel like I've lost a part of myself, like I am broken. I am going to therapy and it is helping, I have a lot more good days than bad now. I do have hope now so it is a start.
Your feelings are absolutely valid. I'm glad you are going to therapy and that it's helping! Having more good days than bad days is wonderful! Definately keep that hope you have that it will keep improving for you.
Jonathan Decker, the therapist that will cry with you.
Learned it from Alan, lol.
@@MendedLight Alan makes crying cool.
Yes so awesome, I think! I've done a LOT of research lately on the phenomenon of emotional crying especially from a neurotransmitter / hormones perspective BECAUSE of this little story:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends. WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain!
But, what happened later was REALLY interesting to me: After the movie, I realized I was CRAVING MORE TEARJERKERS. That was SO unusual for me, so I did a bit of research and found out that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying (which apparently are to help mitigate the originally-painful stimulus). Even though I hadn't ACTUALLY cried, it appeared as though endorphins had STILL gotten released.
So, I basically went from tear-fearer to tearjerker-seeker with one Pixar movie, lol. If crying can release something as awesome as endorphins, it's more than OK in MY book :D
I'm still not sure if I would feel sufficiently not-too-awkward crying with someone in person, but I can say that observing tearful RUclips movie reactions and even just talking (in person) with someone about the topic of crying does seem to release a lot of that "empathy-hormone" oxytocin! The first RUclips movie reactions I ever sought out were after I'd shed tears by myself to "Interstellar" (to see if my reaction was "just me" and I soon found out, NOPE- NOT just me :P)
@@MendedLight :D I've seen a lot of your Cinema Therapy episodes and that fact put together with your comment here made me laugh so hard I started having a coughing fit :D.
But... I myself have a whole new perspective on crying, as per THIS little story:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends.
WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain!
But, what happened later was REALLY interesting to me: After the movie, I realized I was CRAVING MORE TEARJERKERS. That was SO unusual for me, so I did a bit of research and found out that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying (which apparently are to help mitigate the originally-painful stimulus). Even though I hadn't ACTUALLY cried, it appeared as though endorphins had STILL gotten released.
So, I basically went from tear-fearer to tearjerker-seeker with one Pixar movie, lol. If crying can release something as awesome as endorphins, it's more than OK in MY book :D
@@fathomgathergood7690 From my research, it's originally the ENDORPHINS that often get released with crying... which make crying cool... but of course, anyone who is aware of such endorphins and appreciates them... is ALSO cool (i.e. Alan) :)
Thank you so much for doing this one. This scene is the core of why Moana is my favorite Disney movie. I haven't been through what most people consider traditional trauma. I suffered for 8 years with infertility and a loss of identity when I couldn't pursue a career u wanted and couldn't become a mother and it felt so much like the world at large and my circumstances had stolen my hopes and dreams. This movie was so healing for me as I watched it for the first time in theaters while I was pregnant with my son. You really hit the heart of how it felt to watch that moment.
Our love to you and hopes for more healing :)
This movie is so powerful, and it always makes me cry. Such a beautiful story! Besides this scene, my other favorite part is when you realize why she was "chosen" by the ocean for this task. Its because of her big heart and selflessness. The ocean meets her as a 2 year old giving up looking for pretty shells to save a baby sea turtle. The ocean knew she would be able to see the truth, and that Te Ka would only be healed with love and kindness, and not brute force. It just all comes full circle. Beautiful storytelling!
For some reason the main part of Moana that gets me choked up / tearing up is when the ocean first starts playing with her when she's a baby. For some reason that strikes me as just so cute and beautiful!
When I first watched this movie i cried and cried. I cried while watching this too. Thank you Jonathan, You are such a gift and blessing to so many people. Stay safe and stay you.
Teared up a bit reading this. Thank you so very much.
Thank you for putting in roughly 11 minutes why both of my favorite songs in Moana center around a person who has been deeply hurt being healed. (The other one is Song of the Ancestors, when she sees her grandmother's spirit after Maui leaves.) The whole scene was just awe inspiring not just because it was beautifully animated and performed but also because the message is so good. And yes, I bawl like a baby every time. Wish it was as simple as someone giving me a bioluminescent rock and boom, all good haha.
So true! Healing rocks would be amazing.
I’m so dead inside I’m practically a robot, and Moana going “this is not who you are, you know who you are” hitting that crystal note still sends shivers down my back every single time… 😭😭😭
The most powerful thing anybody has ever told me - I'm a sex abuse survivor, deal with depression and anxiety, have adhd, was both severely bullied and a bully in school, and so many other things good and bad - but the most powerful thing anybody has ever said to me, was said by my wife. "I see you. I know who you are."
After 3 decades of hiding, of not being seen and not being known and accepting that this was my truth, having someone see me, know me, and love me anyway. That was powerful.
And it's the reason this scene in Moana kills me every single time I watch it.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing that.
I came to the same conclusion you did with this scene. I cry when I watch it. After years of trauma and abuse I am re-aquanting myself with myself. This scene always reminds me of how far I've come and that if I follow my heart, I will always know myself.
Well said!
That moment in Moana always makes me cry because of how compassionate it is. There's so much love and understanding ❤️ It rings true for me and it reminds me that my past does not define me
I have had lots of traumas in my life and it extends immensely repeated through my entire family tree. I had a nervous breakdown in 2009 due to surviving a murder attempt in which they actually died instead. I talk openly about these issues if they come up now but they dont define me in anyway. They are small chapters. I have a wonderful partner who i support through ptsd from her own traumas but her needs dont define her or our relationship and a daughter who has special needs and just started college and is thriving. She is still learning her needs dont define her but she will get there. I am studying to become a counsellor these are things i define myself with now my intentions, my family my support of their achievements etc. i do wholeheartedly remember a time when my traumas defined me and i understand why it feels that way. Its why i want to become a counsellor because i want to support people to their own conclusions of their experiences
Thank you for your comment. It sounds like you have a wonderful family, and have had tremendous growth through all of your combined experiences. I wish you well in your career as a counsellor!
as a transgender minor that's been rejected by my parents and has been emotionally abused watching this channel has meant a lot to me. I love listen to your insights, and applying them to my own experience or my friends. Since I'm also the therapist for friends in my friend group who have experienced trauma, it's good to know how I can help them. Thank you for all the videos you post
Thank you so much for this perspective. It has shown a light on WHY Moana, and that scene in particular, hit me so hard.
It is an amazing moment, so relevant.
I grew up in New Zealand, and this movie gets me in the feels every time.
I love this comparison. I actually have used this as a mom with my kids. Sometimes the stress of teaching and containing little ones gets to me (like most moms) and I lose it. Sometimes it’s hard to move past and put the smile back on. I’ve talked to my kids about me turning into the lava monster and sometimes I need their help, their love to bring me back. The kids laugh about it and give me a hug.
This is brilliant!
That is so lovely ❤
When I first watched Moana a few years ago I cried so much at various points, but this scene was the most intense. I was a year into my trauma therapy journey at that point and as I heard Moana sing it, a part of me was singing it to my trauma. I think I played that bit over about 4 times before watching the end of the film because it was so healing to do.
This video touches me deeply because it reminds me of a moment when I was in therapy - telling my therapist of the earlier and luckier days of my childhood before I got into elementary school and the bullying started, telling of the times when I was 4 or 5, a happy kinderartner and how I felt now that this child I had been was dead, burried and suffocated under a decade of bullying and lost forever since then. And my therapist pointed out, that this cheerful child, was still somewhere in me, that it was and will always be a part of me. I cried back than because for the first time for a long periode of time I felt connected again with that days when I had been whole. And cry now when I remember the situation. Thanks a lot! These are good tears!
I've watched Moana several times and always wondered why it was special to me and I think you just explained why. I cried my eyes out watching this video. Thank you so much for making it. I've had a lot of trauma and only just now, through your video, have I realized that they stole the heart from inside me but it does not define me.
You're so welcome.
The timing of the release of this was so epic with where I am personally with therapy and over coming traumas. I'm saving this video as a reminder when I'm not being gentle with myself. Sharing. Thank you for putting this out in the world. We all could use this video and the other content on this channel! Sending you all love and light ❤
You're so very welcome! Love and light back at you :)
You had to show the clip! It always gets me. I never thought about the trauma this movie depicts as trauma or the fact that this movie shows three different reactions to trauma. 1) Moana’s father, whose trauma prevents him from living his life 2)Maui, whose trauma fuels his people pleasing tendencies and 3) Te Fiti, whose trauma has caused her to lash out.
Im not sure how I feel about this. I think that I can never be the person that I would have been if the trauma hadn't happened. Trauma is "defining" because its an adaptive response intended to protect us.
Theres a place for hate and anger and darkness. I think its actually pretty important. I dont think its about "returning back". I think its about discovering quality of life again, about finding safety again, even though it may feel different. Its about mourning the past but also being able to experience positive emotions in the present.
8:31 he literally says that. 🙃
I really like this interpretation. It's why even when Te Ka is a mountain sized lava monster she still deserves love, not judgement.
I did not go this deep when I watched Moana. I invested in Moana as a Climate Change message. She's saving her homeland from destruction inside out because Mother Earth is lost while Te Ka burns. When they are revealed to be one and the same it really makes sense that it is self-destruction that is causing this massive land dying off but not because of Mother earth, because of the greediness of others taking and not respecting the lands and the heart of nature. The act of returning the heart to mother earth represented the need to stop taking so much from her lands through mining and logging forests and begin repopulating the lands again so that wildlife and vegetation can regrow. However, I completely get how your perspective applies here. I just didn't think about that until now. Thanks. :)
Your read on it has likewise given me much to think about!
@@MendedLight Oh, that's great. I'm glad we can share ideas here and inspire others to think in different ways. Cheers!
Good works of art are usually good because they're nuanced like that and open to more interpretations! (I love, and very much subscribe to, what Tolkien said about the difference between allegory and application and preferring the latter...)
Thank you so much for this video! I must have watched it over half a dozen times in the last few hours and wish I could give a like each time I did. This video hit hard for me. I was raised with a lot of trauma. I grew to believe that my "world is unsafe, people are not to be trusted, and I need to be taken care of because I can't take care of myself." I believe myself to be broken because it seemed a logical solution as to why I have no friends, why I can't handle some of the simplest tasks, and why I get hurt so often. I built a concrete wall around my heart and covered it with electrified barbwire. I do not trust if someone says they love me or showed interest in me, even if a part of me still wants to be loved and wanted.
I have tried therapy and counseling, but they did not work for various reasons. I have also read a bunch of self-help books, but to steal another line from a video on Cinema Therapy "You can know an awful lot about healing and not heal." (From the Good Will Hunting episode). I currently am not in therapy, though desperately need some kind of guide in my life. (I can't afford it and am in that weird limbo of I make too much for financial support, but don't make enough to be able to afford it after rent, bills, and essentials.) However, this video has impacted me in such a way that it almost feels like a very strong, potentially healing session. Some part of it has broken through the barrier around my heart and made me remember, even if for a few seconds, that I am not my trauma and that there is something more to me.
So, again, thank you for this video! It is much needed!
You're very welcome :) We'll keep cranking out content to help as best we can!
Great video. I always saw the stealing of the "heart" as a metaphor for rape or other kind of trauma, This movie really moved me as a rape survivor and I love the end where Te Kah transforms back into her true self. The hug between Moana and Te Fiti at the very end was so moving. I cried so so much, On another note I'd love for you to make a video about Tick Tick Boom and the pressures of creating great art or whatever your "masterpiece" is by a certain age.
This scene always brings me to tears, and I guess it’s because I also feel changed by the pain in my life and people don’t see me the way I truly am… but that’s not who I am and it’s hard to remember that… my heart feels stolen but hopefully I can get it back…
I'm so sorry. Our love to you.
@@MendedLight can’t believe you replied, love both this channel and cinema therapy as well… I’m working on myself a lot so that I’m more understood in my life as who I am and things are getting better with more understanding of who I am now and videos like this and the ones on your other channel contribute to my healing so thank you 😊
You are so wise to have let that scene and music play uninterrupted. I've watched Moana many times and that scene, played comparatively simply when considering all the amazing music in the rest of the movie, is just so powerful that I cannot help but tear up. As you mentioned, it's like being hit by a truck - we are not often told that our trauma does not define us, and it's so hard to not let that happen.
I could never figure out why this movie was powerful and potent to me, and no matter how many times I watch it, I always tear up at certain parts. Now, I understand why. I didn't think I had childhood trauma, but a therapist helped me realize that trauma comes in different forms, in different degrees, and moving frequently, dealing with a bipolar father, and frequently arguing parents, all stack up as little puzzle pieces of trauma. But, after working with her, I started to heal and this movie is such an affirmation of how trauma doesn't have to define us--it can be the thing that heals us. So powerful. Thank you for everything you do!
Love this! I wonder if the “they” in they have stole the heart from inside you also references the cycle of trauma. Because Maui didn’t do what he did out of spite. He was also defined by his abandonment trauma and completely blind to the damage he was causing because of it.
Thank you. That song has a whole new meaning to me now. I needed this.
You're so very welcome.
This was very therapeutic to me. Very beautiful. I grew up with abuse and sometimes I hear his voice in my head putting me down and I have to remind myself that he doesn’t get to define my narrative. He doesn’t get to define me. I love your channels. Thank you for making these videos.
I'm so sorry you went through that. You're right, he doesn't define anything. You are so strong. Thank you for the kind words.
Thank you for this video. I have been abused by multiple people in my life that were supposed to be safe people. I am in trauma counseling and seeing some improvement, but I know I still have a long way to go before getting to were it does not define me. It is hard because the abuse has gone on for most of 24 years and I am 25. So I don't have much experience outside of trauma.
I'm so sorry. I'm happy to think of your future without ongoing trauma. Keep up the work, it's worth it!
I am a childhood trauma abuse survivor. This scene made me cry. I love your work! This made me cry to as it validated why this scene really touches me. I am working towards supporting other survivors of Narcissistic Parents.
What Alicia said to you about the choice of being a survivor and advocate is still being defined by surviving the trauma really spoke to me.
I was raised in an abusive family, mother father, and sister, all abused me. I became a Critical Nurse Specialist to help patients and families as well as volunteer.
Now, at 66 years of age, as a retiree, for the first time I am learning what else I am.
I had defined myself for so long as a survivor and advocate it is hard to allow myself to find other parts of myself.
Thank you, Jono (and Alicia), for aluminating this very important issue.
I always saw the "They have stolen the heart from inside you, but this does not define you" as someone suffering through either something traumatic or some sort of mental illness such as depression. Plus, this line makes me think of something one of my therapist I had before told me. "Never say you're depressed, as your depression is not you. Instead say, you're suffering from a illness".
I didn't realize I needed to cry today while washing my face but here I am.... I know one of the things I'm discussing in my next therapy session. Thank you for this video.
I'm glad you phrased it that way "...needed to cry today" - I myself have an entirely new outlook on crying as per the following story:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends.
WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain!
But, what happened later was REALLY interesting to me: After the movie, I realized I was CRAVING MORE TEARJERKERS. That was SO unusual for me, so I did a bit of research and found out that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying (or, apparently, as per my case, even "almost" crying).
So...yeah... I don't hold it in anymore (well, usually I watch certain movies alone now, but we'll see what eventually happens, lol).
I love Moana. And I’ve got my heart back too after the therapy. I have CPTSD from my childhood, still healing but now I feel more myself. Thank you for the message.
Thank you for the beautiful insights that only a film loving therapist can offer
Absolutely!
I like combining this with Encanto when they sing "the stars don't shine, they burn" and "the miracle is you. Not your gift. Just you."
thank you for reminding me I'm capable of incredibly good, power, and healing. After a tough week I needed a little reminder. Thank you for letting me shine again.
So much of this film is usable as an example for something regarding therapy. I feel so connected to this movie. I cry every time.
WOAH! we need Jonathan to sing more!
Your wish is my command. I'll work some in to future videos :)
The scene where Moana walks down the mountain and then towards Te Ka always moves me. Her courage is amazing. She is literally betting her life on her insight that Te Ka is a warped version of Te Fiti, knowing the demon could crush her without effort.
They stole my heart, and it shouldn't be my job to put it back, but it is - and I am grateful that kind, compassionate, and vulnerable people like you exist to help with that
I think I found this video when I needed it. Well...I'm gonna go cry until I have no tears left to cry...
I have only recently learned how healthy crying can be, as per THIS story:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends.
WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain!
But, what happened later was REALLY interesting to me: After the movie, I realized I was CRAVING MORE TEARJERKERS. That was SO unusual for me, so I did a bit of research and found out that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying (which apparently are to help mitigate the originally-painful stimulus). Even though I hadn't ACTUALLY cried, it appeared as though endorphins had STILL gotten released.
So, I basically went from tear-fearer to tearjerker-seeker with one Pixar movie, lol. If crying can release something as awesome as endorphins, it's more than OK in MY book!
I'd like to point out that Moana also knew Maui's story. Maui was rejected by the humans he was helping and was trying to get their attention/affection, so he stole the heart of Tafiti in an attempt to gift it to the world. So "they" also works for that part of the prose, and is the reason why Tafiti is willing to forgive him when he apologizes. "They" are the people who made the demand on Maui. Which happens in peer relationships sometimes - people are pushed by their peers to harm another for the benefit of their peers.
There's also a theory that Moana's grandmother only lived as long as she did because she was holding on to the heart until Moana was in the position to perform restorative justice.
A few years ago a fire burned down my whole town, not just a third, or really a half, but the whole town. It was so 🔥 it melted metal, and cars. That was how hot it was. Tanks were exploding from heat. I thought I was going to die, and all I knew, my childhood, my friends, my house were gone. After a few weeks I felt like "They have stolen the heart from inside you", and I could tell I was never the same. I wasn't as happy, or full of joy as I had been before the fire, but watching this and realizing the meaning of lyrics in Moana has given me hope and strength to work on getting out of this trama. So thank you Jonathan Decker! I have learned so much from you!. Give yourself a big round of applause.!
This touched home, thank you. I love your Cinema Therapy and this personalized one is just a little touch of healing. I am a big fan of yours. God bless.
I am so glad that you found this one helpful! We love having you here!
This movie- and that scene in particular- makes me cry every single time. Just hearing it triggers the waterfall of tears. Not only the "they have stolen the heart from inside you, but this does not define you" but also the "you know who you are", because so often trauma makes us doubt our understanding of ourselves. Not just worth, but selfhood itself. So that reminder that no one can steal your knowledge of what makes you, you, is so powerful.
This is very powerful commentary on a very powerful movie. Legit crying in bed watching this
I also believe the screen writers chose to use “they” for that lyric instead of he because that’s part of Maui’s story - he stole the heart *for* humans, so they would love him (because of his abandonment issues, and also, heyy toxic masculinity) so while using “they” does speak to a deeper truth, it’s also true in the literal narrative sense, which Moana understands because she’s come to understand who he is as a person, beyond what he is (a powerful demi god)
I….have watched this movie too many times
I cry frequently when watching your videos... I had a good childhood and so I don't know why I feel so much when watching your videos sometimes but geez they do make me feel a lot
I am guessing that would be "empathy", which is an awesome thing! Check out this little story of mine how I've developed an entirely new appreciation for how healthy crying can be in general:
For most of my life, I generally disliked and avoided crying, and it was usually easy for me to suppress if something did trigger me.
BUT THEN (at a relatively late 30 years old!) I saw "Inside Out" with two friends. WELL... one scene in particular (it was actually a scene PRIOR to the "most infamous scene" if you're curious)... one scene gave me such an emotional "sneak attack" that I ALMOST instantly cried, BUT (since I did NOT want cry in front of my two friends) I did manage to suppress any tears BUT that time, it took SO much effort it actually felt like it hurt my brain!
But, what happened later was REALLY interesting to me: After the movie, I realized I was CRAVING MORE TEARJERKERS. That was SO unusual for me, so I did a bit of research and found out that feel-good brain endorphins can often get released with crying (which apparently are to help mitigate the originally-painful stimulus). Even though I hadn't ACTUALLY cried, it appeared as though endorphins had STILL gotten released.
So, I basically went from tear-fearer to tearjerker-seeker with one Pixar movie, lol. If crying can release something as awesome as endorphins, it's more than OK in MY book :D
I've spent the last 2 years finding my light again. I've been working to. Unpack my trauma and heal it, so that it heals the generational trauma in my family. I've found immense self love, and that is bringing back my light. ❤
Stayed broken for 40 years because nobody ever offered a counterpoint to the narrative that I was just an irredeemable villain. Even therapists victim-blame because they're afraid of anger. All people know about themselves is what other people tell them, and sometimes all they ever needed to heal was an alternate explanation.
moana spoke to me. i watched it and knew i was seeing something special. i always rebelled against the word surviver. i made words that made more sense for my situations. i feel like constantly relieving my trauma is etching it deeper into my brain.
This channel is so underrated
We agree, but we're super biased so...
As a survivor of life-long trauma who's going to be in the process of healing for the rest of my life, it's important that people understand that just because it looks like you've healed and moved on doesn't necessarily mean you have, and it's possible that the trauma is going to define you in certain ways forever. That doesn't mean you can't have a good life, but sometimes there are wounds that will never really heal, and even if they do, you'll still be scarred. What's important is to embrace those wounds and scars and find a way to recontextualize them and not be afraid to let people see them, because they're part of who you are now, and who you are, as you are, is enough.
as someone who was raised to be somebody and fought depression and got healed from it and often heard things about the happy kid i was or who i was before this or that and how i could be that again but actually knowing that the one i was before all that was never me and that might be the actual reason i got mentally ill… this is so freaking powerful jonathan and i wanna thank you so much! i’m finding out who i really am but for a long period i thought about becoming a therapist to help other people so they wouldn’t go through what i got and so many people told me that… that was my “big calling” you know? my mission! and of course i want to help people but today you helped realize that… that’s not who i am! i am more than a warrior, survivor or healer i am someone! somebody with the right of having others interests or a career that is not linked to the trauma i have been through and that there’s more in my life than that! this is something that i have been thinking about about and praying about and i truly believe God has put this video on my way to help me and i feel truly blessed and cleared so again thank you! thank you for being a part of this, your job here and on cinema therapy caused i huge great impact in my life so just keeping doing what you’re doing because you’re doing amazing! thank you!
I cried and cried during this episode ! - Sooo spot on !
I’ve still not completely freed myself from my past, still finding myself instinctively furiously defending others (myself) !
After my third miscarriage I felt like Taka. This movie actually really helped me to heal.
Johnatan, you're amazing! Your job here is so important
Thank you so much for this S2
I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much.
Thank you. This movie touched me on so many levels, and this scene for me in particular is one of the most powerful and profound of any movie. You’ve articulated this experience perfectly. 💙
That scene makes me cry every time. This time was no different.
When I was a child 35 yrs ago we did not have PTSD and even today we hesitate diagnosing children. What we did have was ODD (so they blame your parents and your teachers never trust you, SOO not helpful. You also grow up being told you are going to be nothing but a criminal, even as a girl). I knew the moment they told the tale of Maui, I knew exactly who TeKa was, without her heart all that was left was rage--Moana saw the pain and did not judge the behavior, like a good therapist. All TeFiti needed was compassion and patience for someone to see her, to KNOW HER, and to recognize/mirror that TeKa was not who she really is (The client knows how to heal, the answer is inside not outside--Moana, the wounded healer, can only help Tefiti once she realizes this for herself with the help of her anscestors). In the face of this loving, compassionate human who does not flee the rage, Tefiti is able to accept her heart and OMG PTG (Post Tramatic Growth!)! and poor Maui, such an over performer perfectionist just trying to heal his attachment wounds, heals once he is embraced for WHO he is, not what he accomplishes. I also like that this princess FAILS on an epic scale, but that is not the end of the tale, she sits with the feeling, has a bit of an existential crisis, finds her heart, regroups, AND TRIES AGAIN!!! I now sit here with a PhD an no criminal record. I went through a pretty solid Maui phase, but I am learning to listen to the voice inside me because I know exactly who I am
This is my second time watching this video, and yet, the end still brought tears to my eyes. I've been through a ton of crap, from childhood, but when I was a teenager I discovered that i wanted to help people with what I'd gone through, and be a therapist. It felt like I was at the light at the end of the tunnel, but then when I was 17 years old, another round of traumatic events came crashing in that lasted for a couple years. I've spent the last 2-3 years hating the world, thinking there's no actual good in it, and that i couldn't get past all the awdul things that happened. Its only been just recently at 21 that I'm finally feeling ready to help others again. Ready to use what I've been through to make a truly empathetic therapist one day. But I also want to do so much more with my life. Date, travel, have friends and just enjoy life. I don't want to be defined by my trauma. This is an excellent vudeo, thanks for making it.
I've always been lucky, that regardless of what I've gone through I had amazing people behind me who supported me. And I went through A LOT as a kid, but my dad and younger brother were and still are my rocks of humanity. They're amazing people, and a cousin who was a pretty annoying kid also turned out to be a freaking amazing person as well. Those 3 laid the foundation for me to be able to keep believing in the goodness of people and I credit them with being the reason that I never stayed in a dark, hateful or mistrusting place for long. It's hard to believe only the bad in people when you have multiple people in your life who are as amazing as them.
I cry at this movie. I won’t lie. ALAN WOULD BE CRYING!!!
I just bawled my eyes out. Going through the grieving process of leaving a oh demand religion and feeling they took everything…even some of my love. This helps thank you
So, I love this film. And I love how they didn't use a lot of words on that curveball. But everyone, the whole family watching, got it, and that is such agorgeous way to use film.
Agreed!
This hit so hard. Thank you so much for this video ❤ As someone who has been through many traumatic experiences and suffered from emotional neglect in my childhood, I have a tendency to define myself according to where I am regarding my trauma. But I am not it. This made me realise that. Beneath my trauma is a woman who wants to become a writer and a poet and who has dreams and wants that has nothing to do with my trauma. I am me, and not the things that has been done to me.
If you think you're beaten, you are. If you think you dare not, you don't. If you'd like to win, but think you can't it's almost a cinch you won't. Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster hu/man, but in the end, the one who wins is the one who thinks they can.
it's a shocker for me but I did not remember about this scene at all. and now, seeing from this perspective, it made me cry, so as your words did. I still haven't completely recovered from my traumas and I'm working on it for couple years now and it's HARD to believe in myself again, to see myself as a good person who is worthy of love.
Balancing, independence, trust healing, interdependence, self confidence and knowing one's own limitations and when to push them is a hell of a spiraling crap shoot to work through in your late thirties, especially in the world climate we find ourselves in as a whole.
This really resonates with me and i started tearing up as he spoke. I feel like i have defined myself as my trauma and my mental health. It's all i think about and all i do is because of my trauma now. I feel like it will always stay that way. I feel like i can never change who I am cause I'm so lost in a whole of my own trauma and depression. I don't want it to define me anymore.
Thank you so much for this video. I cry, to the point of sobbing, every time I see this scene in Moana (& the one where her grandmother's spirit revives Moana's connection with who she herself is). This and Encanto make me feel that Disney is on track to be the most nuanced and therapeutic film studio of the 21st century. Simple but deep and affirming truths.
I've been watching this channel and Cinema Therapy for about 2 weeks now and you show remarkable wisdom. Much of what you say goes straight to my heart. You are very good at what you do and I appreciate that you share these ideas with a wide audience. You help a lot. You have helped me a lot.
The timing of me stumbling on this was so useful. I've watched many of your episodes but none hit me like this.
I recognize that I've allowed the cruelty of others (betrayals, sexual abuse, and other unkindness) to plant a profound anxiety in my heart that makes me run from those stress people. And it's beginning to make me less.
Thank you for always creating such useful content and operating from a place of goodness♥️
That part in Moana always made me cry and now watching this video, I understand why. Thank you
I have been throw two (very though) years of my life, in which I believed, that the pain my mom (in young age), my best friend and my exboyfriend caused, defined me. And in this two years I learned a lot, I am in therapy since 2019 and it helped me a lot healing and letting go. But still, this video hits me a lot, and it gives me support, tvat I am on the right way, finding myself again. Thank you John for your content!❤
I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME she sings “you know who you are”
I had a very rough year on 2021. My dad, uncle and dog (She was with us 14 years) passed away. Issues with anxiety and depression. I had some money stolen. My brother had a stroke and my best friend stopped talking to me. I've felt like a leaf carried by a storm. I haven't been able to cry in weeks and finally I did today, I needed it. Thanks :)
For 20+ years I was like Te Ka.... I'm glad my twin flame came across the ocean, literally (he's in the US Navy & I'm in Japan), to find me. He proved to me without a shadow of a doubt that everything I had always believed was true. That dreams and visions are real and reflect one's reality. He helped me see that what everyone told me was "crazy, weird, & unlovable"... was really just me and my truth... & He loves me for all of it~ 🥰💕
So I've been watching Moana a lot recently, as in several times a day, and I always faught to hold back tears at this scene, I thought I got emotional because of the score and the cinematics, which had a hand in it, but I never understood why I actually cried at the scene. I never realized that why I was crying was because I felt like I was Te Ka, scrambling for who I used to be, wishing for parents who wouldn't neglect or manipulate me, and Moana would say "but that does not define you" and I feel something shift, deep down in my very soul. I still don't have a complete understanding of why this scene makes me feel the way that I do, but I'm determined to figure it out now, thank you, Jono. :)
edit: I already figured it out, just didn't realize. Just because my parents don't do good or right by me, doesn't mean that I have to let that define me. Every day I take strides to not be like them, to show people kindness, hug my friends, understand them, listen to them, etc. I think the reason why I cope with my trauma so well is because I use it to push me forward. That's not to say that it doesn't affect me negatively, because it absolutely does every day that I'm alive, but I use it as my motivation to be a better person than my parents were. Seeing my friends happy and when they affirm to me that I'm a good friend to them, it makes me happy that I can do good regardless of what has hurt me. Knowing that I can still do good and putting that into practice is my coping mechanism, and it works so well for me.
It's the first time that I've realized this, and I'm getting chills. Thank you.
Awesome vídeo!
It took me 12 years, but I'm me again!
Welcome back!
As a therapist myself, this video hit very close to home. I have trauma that I'm trying to address and not pass onto my daughter. I'm always advocating for others, but it is helpful to see stuff like this and feel like it speaks to me as a person, and not just a therapist. Thank you for the work that you do. You've been a great resource, both personally and professionally.
I love this movie. So much about overcoming and moving passed trauma. Tefiti, Maui, Moana, and her whole people spent years losing, hiding, doubting, or avoiding who they truly were and their place in the world because of a trauma. All except the Goddess tried to be happy living in a way that was good, but not true, and she just lost herself completely. I know from personal experience that you can’t go on that way forever. Even once you realize that your trauma doesn’t define you, the positive changes in your life don’t happen overnight. I’m still working at it. Every time I watch this movie, it reminds me of those bright sunny days, literally or figuratively, where you wake up and you feel motivated to try even harder to see past the gloom.
I had a Jungian therapist who always corrected me when I said “but” and changed it to “and”. Her point was through experiences traumatic or otherwise, you have a choice to let them close you or open you.