Meeting Your Needs as a Healer Personality Type |
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- Опубликовано: 27 июн 2024
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Meeting Your Needs as a Healer Personality Type | #marriageproblems #thestruggleisreal //
Who is the healer in your life? Are you wanting to learn more about how to meet the needs of a healer personality? What does a healer personality look like? Watch this video to learn more about meeting the needs as a healer personality type.
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00:00 Meeting the needs of a Healer
01:09 What is a healer
02:45 How they build relationships
04:40 Intune with others feelings
06:45 How to meet your needs
08:17 Support them in who they already are
10:00 What’s most important
13:20 How to communicate as a healer
15:00 What not to do
17:00 Understanding your kids
#marriageproblems #healer #mendedlight #jonathandecker
• Meeting Your Needs as ...
"You have met my needs and in return i shall hEAL YOU HALLELUJA!!"
Me at my chosen family🤣🤣❤
That's basically me with my teachers and family🤗💕🙏
Thank you! I'm healed!! Yes.😂😂😂
"They go narrow in their relationships, but they go deep." SO MUCH! There are probably dozens of people who would say that we're close; from my perspective--maybe 5. That doesn't mean I don't care, or sacrifice for them. It's just that only feel 100% free with my tight inner circle. No pretense, no fear of judgement, being known and accepted just as I am. 🥰
I am a big time healer and with regards to making people around me happy, it is so true but I have also come to understand that it is the individual's responsibility to be happy. This has given me the ability to disconnect from feeling guilty if I can't make that person happy with whatever it is that I help with. I would get depressed when I couldn't fix thing.
So true, we can be there to support someone. But we must set clear boundaries so that those we help don't use us as a crutch every time something goes bad. They must learn to stand on their own in time.
I have learned this recently: some people are happiest when complaining. !!!! I KNOW> bit one! You're welcome!
I'm exactly like that
"They're so forgiving, until they're not." Uff! Just @ me already, bro! Jeez! I've been sitting here, watching this video, and replaying all the times I've made food for my students or for my D&D group. Even though I've got a solid streak of the Thinker, I'm a massive Healer. (I'm actually playing the *healer* in my most recent D&D campaign. Good grief.)
I’m a healer. Growing up I would cry a lot and teachers always accused me of being too sensitive. I have come to accept that sensitive is how I am and it’s not a bad thing. I easily relate to others emotions. I am loving and caring. But I need to be spoken to with gentleness and kindness. I need my feelings to be heard and validated
"I am the soberest pot head I've ever met . . ." My new life montra.
This whole video resinated with me. I'm interested in taking the test just to verify, but if it doesn't come up healer, I would be very suprised.
My whole personality is:
"Oh you gave me attention and made me your friend?
I AM SO GOING TO LOVE YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND PROTECT YOU THAT YOU'LL GET SICK OF IT"
so-so true))😂
Please do a video on what a healer thinker looks like.
You guys talk a lot about Healers, Thinkers, Closers, and Dreamers, but is there a specific video where you talk about each type individually and their traits?
"Hell hath no fury like a healer scorned." My dad said something similar to that while I was growing up, but his words were, "Never piss off a pacifist." Same energy.
Also, that whole thing about "Healers will give second, third, 40th, 50th chances until something happens and they snap and then good luck getting them to forgive you." I feel both validated and called out, lol.
I'm an INFP / healer/dreamer type personality. I feel very much like Jono when he describes his personality type. I'm very curious to know his Myers Briggs personality type if you guys ever delve into that sort of thing. It would be fascinating to know Elisha (I hope I spelled her name right) and Alan's too if they could ever do something like that on their channels.
He is an INFJ :) At least he said so in an episode on cinema therapy.
I’m also healer/dreamer and got ENFP
What is ENFP and INFP?
@Contractorlove ENFP= Extravert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiver. INFP= Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiver. This is all according to the Myers Briggs test. You can take tests online. I've taken multiple online tests and a test through a career counselor, and I'm a pretty solid INFP.
I used to think I was an INFP, but with time I just found out that my real personality was just being suppressed, specially by my mother, and then I learned that I'm actually an ENFP 😂 Which is not so different, as people calls us ambiverts. I'm very outgoing and communicative but I definitely need my time alone to recharge, specially when I'm sad. And yes, I'm also a healer
"How are we still together?" LOL, my Closer wife and I (a Healer) have said this to each other many times!
As a Healer male, I certainly had my struggles growing up, and I can imagine how hard it is for a lot of Closer girls and women in our society, too.
Maybe that's why we find each other? Two misfits fitting together?
It's truly beautiful how such very different people can come together and complement each other, with understanding and compassion.
Just realized I’m a healer, in my last relationship my ex delt five giant blows to me before I realized I couldn’t stay friends with her. I did everything I could to make her comfortable and happy. I wish I still could. Eventually I realized that she was emotionally immature and I deserved better.
I have this sneaking suspicion that a spicy mixture of "healer" personality, high sensitivity and codependency from childhood trauma have created a lot of problems in my life and I might want to unravel all of that 😀😅 it's funny how the more I watch the content, I seem to have in common with Jono
Its very amusing. Im a healer-thinker, and my partner is a thinker-healer. the juxposition of which one as the dominate makes us so similar yet so different.
Jonathan seems to me as an INFP (HSP).
Myself I am an INFJ (HSP).
Jonathan's wife is perhaps ESTJ (very emotionally mature and open-minded I must say).
Books that really helped me:
Quiet
Introvert Power
Introvert Advantage
Secret Lives of Introverts
Highly Sensitive Person
Sensitive
Highly Sensitive Man
Empowering the Sensitive Male Soul
As an INFP, and HSP; I concur. I relate a lot to him. So glad that society is finally starting to accept that sensitivity is not a feminine or woman thing.
I’d actually say that he seems more like an ENFP because he is so outgoing and extroverted, but I’m not sure. Fellow INFJ here.
@@lavendairea.5219I totally understand him and I'm an ENFP. I think all of us NFs are healers, pretty much 😅
The last part about understanding your children...wow!! I am a healer and both my parents are closers...they did not understand me at all, weren't enough interested in asking themselves why I was different and put all the blame on me. Alicia, you are a wonderful mum, you were able to question yourself and adjust to your child when needed❤
Oh dang you just described my whole personality.
…As I sit here cuddled in a soft bathrobe with my sugar gliders purring in a pouch under my shirt and brownies baking in the oven!
#goals
No words can express how much i resonate to this video so much that i almost started to cry, word for word i felt as my heart is touched.
I think I am a healer by the description but I wanna take the quiz.
I am a healer personality. I found it interesting you talking about your daughter needs re clothes. I absolutely hate buying clothes. I can find it stressful and can feel pressured in the shops (shop assistants, lots of people n noise). I will get home and then not like the feel of them. Fortunately for me I don't buy clothes to often. When I like something I wear it till it dies and avoid shopping until all of my favourites are no longer wearable. I need clothes that I feel comforted in. I don't like tight clothes at all, I don't like constricted. I don't like the feel against my skin. I thought I was odd about this. I like loose clothes, which are breathable and light. Nothing tickling me etc. I like the feeling of being able move freely in them. It gives me a sense of space, weightlessness; being unburdened.
I feel so understood... and kinda relieved. Because as a healer ive always viewed all of my healer traits as weaknesses and even tried to change some of them but couldn't. For example for not being called a crybaby i did a pretty good job at suppressing my emotions... which really hurt. But now with knowing this i can do better at finding my way through my life😌❤
LOL my mum gave up on buying me clothes. I'm basically 50/50 healer and dreamer. These descriptions helped me a LOT in understanding why I am SO energetic and like to make friends and be outgoing doing big things, then I flip and I just want to be curled up alone or in a tiny group expressing the deepest thoughts imaginable. Really helping me find my most fulfilling vocations in life too!
As a healer, It breaks my heart how little i've been understood as a child by others, and how most of wt I've been taught and how I've been "delt with" went against my healer nature. and quite honestly only a couple years ago when i started taking matters into my own hands as to heal (depression) and understand myself that I'm trying to unlearn patterns and introduce healer approach to life. It's going to be hard and painful, but i owe it to my little self. Even now when i try to explain with simple words I'm still such a foreign concept to them.
I've been through the same thing and I totally understand you
I've never thought of myself as a healer before, but as I was watching this video and thinking about sessions with my therapist regarding my relationships, I think a healer is what I am. I've come to a point where a few relationships in my life haven't been meeting my needs. I always try to accommodate the other person to help them feel better, and I haven't wanted to bring up the fact that my needs aren't being met for fear of making the other person uncomfortable. But what I've been learning this year from therapy and from videos like this is that when people care about me and know that I'm unhappy, they will make the effort to do better. And something I'm now realizing is that just because someone doesn't have the same healer tendencies that I do doesn't mean they're not showing love; the love is just shown differently.
I got over my fear of confrontation when I realized that opening up and sharing your truth--your unmet needs--with someone is actually saying "I trust you to care!" Accept that it takes a lot for most of us to take that risk, and that it is a COMPLIMENT that they know you are a decent human being, who will never use their vulnerability against them. And they wouldn't bother taking that risk if they didn't want the relationship to work.
Recognizing this changed my reflexive, defensive response to openness and curiosity. Even as something hurts my heart, I can say, "Thank you for telling me. I know it took a lot of courage to say that!"
I needed this. My mother is a closer and this just explained why we sometimes get so frustrated with one another.
my and my girlfriend are both healers, she is a healer, dreamer and I'm a healer, thinker. she had this whole thing when we started dating and has gotten better for the 2 years we been dating, where when her anxiety was high and she was having a panic attack, I would try to hug her and she would push me away just like with your daughter. once she gave in and I gave her a hug, she always felt so much better very quickly but at first, she would push me away. nowadays when she's got anxious she comes and seeks a hug from me. I think it was just because she never had a partner who would come help her in that way when she needed it.
After seeing this video I can see that I am a healing and a thinker. I don't know how that happened but I love to help people and I overthink things too because I love to problem solve. I would love to see how this combination can work in the world. And how others can understand me better.
A healer will feel very comfortable with caring people and they need such people because are rare. They can be next other people but they don't show up as healer, sensitive, only with guard up - it depends on the other people sensitivity or not
Love this! I'm right there with you, Jon! My wife is a Closer, too.
I hate big parties and conflict, and am all about those chill, familiar, cosy vibes. Physical touch is my primary love language, and I'll cuddle the crap out of my loved ones (consensually, of course).
Im also in a healer/closer relationship, it takes work but meeting each other where we're at has really helped, communication is everything
Watching your down to earth explanations, has lit up many lightbulbs for me. I’m a grandmother and have muddled through the years as a mother and a grandmother (and as a daughter to my mum) reading, going to counselling, therapy and workshops, classes, trying to help me and those around me, but so much was so academic and complicated that it didn’t always work in the day to day. Better late than never, I’ll try to pass on your channel to the grandkids who are mostly healers, as am I and my sons and of course mostly are paired with opposites…❤ talk you!
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my healer heart, for doing this video
Please make a similar video for the other personality types! This was great. 😊
The sassy walk behind Alicia 😂😂
I want to really thank you guys for this video, I am definitely a healer and now im going through difficult time because soon I’m gonna end my studies, go for work and I have this voice in my head (probably because of culture and family) that I need to accomplish something big, work my ass of and develop myself constantly. It creates this conflict between what I think I should do, what everyone tells me to do and between my needs. This video validates all of them and this part of me and I needed that (who would’ve guessed, right?). I understand that’s just my nature and I really like this softness in me and well, around me because blankets and big sweaters are the best. You helped me understand all of that and let myself be just the way I am. It is a lot, thank you! I hope you will have wonderful week 😊
Can you guys talk about how a tinker and a healer will work together? I think i am both of those. Please talk more about that combination and how it would look like on a person that holds both personalities. Thanks
My partner is a Healer and a closer which i find quite interesting. If you guys can talk about that it would be great :) thanks again
I'm a Healer, INFP, life path 3 and for anyone who's into astrology, I'm an Aquarius sun, Mars, Jupiter, Uranus and Midheaven lol
Everything about me SCREAMS Healer 😂
Sorry, got you beat. Pisces, Sun, Mercury, and Venus! 😂😂😂😂
@@sarahkoren7294 I see your placements and I raise you A SCORPIO MOON AND CHIRON
Yupp I'm a healer as well as a dreamer ^-^ Someone give me a hug 😁
I am smiling through the whole video because this is so me. I finally understand why I don't like receiving clothes or shoes. I feel seen and heard. New level unlocked. Thank you.❤
"I heard what you said and I need some time to see how I feel about it and what I think about it."
I’m definitely 100% Dominant Healer Secondary Dreamer I’m the other way round to you Jono , this video on Healer Personality Type describes my type perfectly Alicia & Jono , I definitely comfort others when needed and if anything I’d more than likely with cry you because seeing people cry depending on my mood sets me off , I definitely can’t cope when Closer Personality Types can be to direct and I do end up shutting down because I do feel a little threatened by there directness I guess that’s just the way they are , but being a Healer Type it’s in me to want to understand others and there personality type even if they don’t want to understand Healers which is something I’ve come across a lot in my life 😅🥴
This was a timely video for me. I'm a healer & have been looking for ways to "fill my bucket" so to speak so I don't burn out emotionally as I try to help people. So this was very helpful! Thank you!
I love what y'all said about how even tone of voice and body language differences are huge. I'm a fairly tall guy with long legs, I've got about 6 inches on my wife, but I'm a VERY slow walker compared to her. If she's going somewhere, she will walk as fast as she can without running and she will leave me behind. I joke all the time with people that if they want to understand our relationship, watch us walk somewhere more than a block away.
hahaha yes! I must be a healer and my mom must be a closer or something... The amount of times i've thought "mom stop cleaning so agressively you're stressing me out!!!" But i do think i can tell when she´s extra stressed by the way she walks and cleans around the house lol. So acurate
It is not a coincidence that I was a nurse for 43 years. I am fairly sure when I met you two and your family in Caesarea, you picked up on the fact that I am a Healer Personality type.
I definitely am also a dreamer, too.
This is why the majority of my career I was a Critical Care Nurse Specialist.
My Stepmother once told me that people make the mistake of thinking that they can push me around forever because I give them so many chances. She said that when I finally am pushed into a corner, I will turn around and "bite". 😂😂😂😂
Yes! People do this to me as well! I've been taken advantage of for so so long. Many abusive relationships, just ended a three year relationship with a narcissist, and just found out that my mom is a strong covert narcissist, so I'm learning how to deal with all that and notet people take advantage of me. They push me to the edge, cause they know I'm very forgiving, buy they don't want to see me angry cause they know I bite, HARD 😂😂😂
I am also a closer. So being a dominant Healer and a secondary, but close second, a Closer. Which is why I was an ICU/ER specialist nurse.
Jono, I swear you are me...
I mean I'm cis-fem, bisexual, brown, and in my 20s, but everything else I swear 😅
I am watching the series all together and so far I think I am a Closer/Healer combo, which would explain a lot of my cognitive dissonance and why I tell people that I am simultaneously both extremes of the personality spectrum. I resonate with a lot but especially when Alicia said "you're efficient with tasks and effective with people." That is amazing couching to succinctly communicate how I operate to other people. Also just a great barometer to judge how well an interaction or situation is going. Thank you both and I look forward to finishing off this series with the Dreamer video
I think the closer personalities think about themselves that are the best and above all personalities..if the culture encourage only them, doesn't mean that it's true
I’m saving this, learning to communicate my needs. What you both say about what it feels like and what healers need, feels very much in line with what I find myself feeling/thinking and what makes sense in terms of what I need, what I have been looking for and not necessarily given the space or time to understand how to communicate all this.❤
Thank you so much for this. I hope you do all four and some of the combos. My husband and I are so polarized, we're like magnets either synced tight or totally repellent.
I'm an ISFJ and definitely a healer. This explained so much!
JohnO!!!! You and I are kindred spirits. Everything you've said is so similar to my experiences and needs.
I think I'm a closer healer....which would explain why I get nowhere in life and my mental instability
My fiance and I somewhat mirror your relationship. He is 100% a healer and I'm a strong mix of closer/thinker (though I do strive to emulate the healers in my life). It took me a little bit of time to learn how to address conflicts with him very similar to the way you described here but it has made all the difference in our relationship! The support, love, kindness, and joy we share in our lives is palpable to thise around us. So good when you can learn to fulfill each other's needs. :)
I am a Healer this is also describing a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) in which I am also that.
Spot-on about the healer absorbing and forgiving a tonne of hurtful/abusive behaviour for a long time, then snap! that was it. My body threw my extremely ex out at DNA level during yet another stupefyingly abusive phone call to me, my voice went an octave deeper, and I hung up, never to take another call from him, listen to any of his many voicemail messages, etc. ever again. It is not even about a healer with unconditional love choosing whether to forgive yet again or not, it is a kind of saturation point and the subsequent reversal of polarity to take care of oneself after starvation or siege. The only person getting the benefit of the doubt up til then had been he - it was actively harming me in addition to him actively harming me as well. And every day of no contact with him has only augmented that healing. That’s why it was a concrete “no return” line. Four years later, and I have never regretted shutting him out. Your line about the healer snapping resonated with me as entirely my experience. It wasn’t a choice my brain made, it was my body taking over and severing the connection to take care of me.
Wow ❤
I am a healer and finally I feel seen. My family was telling me I was exaggerating being so sensitive. Now I am learning to see my needs and to articulate them. Also yes, the tone of voice is everything! And yes, I need to let my emotions known, and talk about them, and the moment I feel understood, seen, I feel connected and all is food, and yes I can find my own solutions.
Also, when you mentioned your daughter's sensitivity with clothes, I realized I don't like sour cherry marmelade. The consistency is very weird to me, and I felt this my entire life but never paid attention.
This video resonates so much with me, wow. I've never felt more seen. I'm on a journey to learn how to express my needs better and this is incredibly helpful as another tool in my belt.
I am a dreamer healer, and it makes me kind of sad. I have ADHD and depression do to some trauma and i find that im less excited. I’m more closed than i used to be. I feel like a big part of my life has been taken from me that I won’t ever get back. I used to be so open, loving, caring, compassionate. I still am, but not in the same way. I have become more selfish to my needs and thinking about myself. I don’t spend as much time with my friends anymore. It hurt sometimes when i would be used by people i tried to help and open up to, but i loved that i was so involved. Now i just feel to scared to be like that anymore.
It’s kind of a reality check to not let people walk on you and knowing your boundaries, but I definitely do feel like my child like wonder and live was squashed.
This is an incredibly relatable video! Thank you so much for articulating these ideas for healers everywhere ❤
Validation is very important.
This was super useful! Look forward to seeing the other three types presented this way :)
This is so helpful thank you guys.
I burst into tears on the little Rocky piece😢
Wow!
Thank you so much for this video.
My son is a dominant healer types. After watching this I understand him perfectly for the first time.❤️
This video was wonderful! And a bit eerie becaause everything you discussed was so accurate for me. I learned that I am a healer + dreamer personality type and I'm so curious now to see a video on the closer personality because I'm pretty sure I'm married to one and my mom is also a closer. So trying to see things from their perspective through unpacking that personality type may be very helpful in alleviating the tension we so often face. Thank you for these!
Thank you so much for this video, it helped me feel validated and understood and shows me I'm.not alone in my "Healer" struggles.
God bless
"Hell hath no furt like a healer scorned." 💯💯💯This
Also, it sounds like your healer daughter is sensory sensitive cuz same at the clothes😂❤
I love this so much! Thank you both for explaining more about a healer. I do feel in alot of ways I'm a healer but also in some ways a closure. Would you be able to recommend a site where I could test to get more clarification? I'm also curious about what my husband is because we are working in marriage counseling and got recommend a book boundaries in marriage, I feel like would go well with knowing personality types we both would be to help with that. ❤ sending love and appreciation to both of you! Always love seeing videos and thankful for the tips. 🐱💕
This was so helpful. I will have to rewatch more times and hope my partner will watch it too. Thank you for the practical feedback.
I feel so seen by this description, how I have come across as super sensitive and like I don't respect boundaries but also present as withdrawn, thank you. Would you be able to talk more about the combinations of these personality types? I haven't found anyone else talking about this.
This perfectly describes me in a particular working relationship. Except, as the Healer in that relationship, I'm wary when the other person suddenly affirms me or appears to be listening. I'm so used to a defensive stance with that person that I suspect it's a manipulation tactic. Looking forward to the Closer video coming up!
"You forgive until you don't" I never trust myself with this because I forgive so much until it's too much and I've lost so much of myself. Then when I feel like I got it right outside sources say that I'm being too harsh and too quick to cut them off.
Thank you so much for this. As a Christian leader this is most helpful to better help people. I've been trying to help a lady that's been going thru the same issues again and again and it's so hard because I can see why, she keeps making bad decisions (financially etc) but never takes accountability. I really want to see her succeed but it seems impossible at this point. I feel like I'm missing something.
This is definitely me! I am not sure what my husband is. I remember being amazed when we were dating that his brother would say something and I would feel angry. Hubby can rephrase it and suddenly I can see his brothers point. It does not mean I agree, but hubby has a more balanced approach.
The struggle I have is I have someone I think is a healer in my life but if I validate and praise them, they get dismissive, and no matter how much I soften they are always hurt by me even gently mentioning something needs doing. I am exhausted by it.
Like Alesha says - my friend is very much "you're happy so I can't be happy," but regardless what I do, say, how I try to approach or deal with it, nothing changes. So I remain unhappy and they just use it to beat themselves of the head with and as "proof" that they suck.
Holy crap I feel very called out. Only my soothing music is heavy industrial. :D
Such an interesting topic! Can we please have a video on each personality type and how to have their needs met? I feel that would be very helpful.
Apparently I need to take that membership course because I think I'm both a healer and a closure. I see someone's needs need to be met, so I make a plan and swoop in and give the hugs but also organize a schedule for myself to make sure I check in. And then I burn myself out.
There's no comfort in the growth zone... and no growth in the comfort zone... *radical acceptance and the Serenity Prayer
A.K.A. enneagram type 9
I’m definitely a healer personality type. Almost all the characteristics you described are things i can relate to… I’m super excited for the closer video. My step dad is most likely a dominant closer personality and lately we have had trouble understanding each other and get on each other nerves. Which is something i am trying to change, I’m really looking forward to your insights.
Hi I loved this video. And also it left me with such huge anxiety as all my fears are validated. Here is why. As an entj the most important thing for me is family and team and because of Jesus I have to always try to represent God well. Well bad news. I don't feel human feelings like humans do. My feelings are very atypical. I can be gentle with feelers as I call them for about 5 minutes. After that 5 minutes I start panicking. I have panic attacks because I'm obligated to do right but I'm emotionally blind.
I really really can't comfort anyone besides a pat on the head and to take their side. That's all I got. I can feed someone make them tea and tell them they are right to feel how they do but I can't sit with them. It's not in me. Also I can't cuddle. I can't do it!
Oh well.
I'm a healer and an INFJ
I am so much a healer it's insane tbh. I also love to travel and experience new places. Any tips on how to manage that with this big need for comfort, routines, home etc.? (at least I understand now better why this conflict is even there, so thanks for that.) Also, do you have any tips on how to manage a healer's needs on the workplace, especially in conflicts with coworkers, or when taking action is required but I just CAN'T?
I’m a healer, self care is hard 😅
I feel so seen
It's really interesting. I thought the thing secondary thing was the dreamer in your terms, but it seems to be the serious introvert element of the healer it is also that slow sensitive element with the detached into detached intellect element of the dreamer. It is in that way the exact opposite of the closer.
The expression of that thing for me often is quote. Slow down you'll get there faster close square
The I hate parties is definitely mean as well
I am a thinker healer.
Interesting, I feel like I have lot of traits you're describing but also lack many others :-D I do lot of that stuff but I don't think I'm really healing anyone, I'm too introverted and socialy lame. I don't really ask other people about their lives because I feel like that's their personal stuff until I know them long enough and then it feels ackward to start asking about stuff I should already know :-D
Can someone have three major types? Just watched your “Thinker” video and I definitely recognize a lot of those thought-patterns/feelings.
I'm fairly confident I'm a healer, and a closer, but it also doesn't sound like that fits...
I'm a dreamy thinking healer😅
You all are so cute. I think I might be a healer dreamer too. Was there a test to take?
Also an INFP
Weird thing, I truly think I have a healer personality. For some reason I’ve really struggled to be validating and to truly listen to my wife. 😔
Please make a video about the anime Mushoku Tensei.
Is it possible to take this quiz to determine the personality types? I looked on the website but could not find anything.
realising some stuff...