It Takes a Community to Heal From Trauma

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  • Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
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    00:00 It takes a community to heal from trauma
    00:20 Definition of trauma
    02:50 Safety
    05:00 Narrative therapy
    08:50 How to claim your power back
    #mendedlight #jonathandecker

Комментарии • 40

  • @RoarTheRapper
    @RoarTheRapper 6 месяцев назад +45

    The whole “I held myself together for all these years, but now I’m falling apart,” reminds me of when I first moved, got a new job, then my old car died on me and I had to buy a new one. I was feeling great with the move and changing jobs, but when my car broke down I was so upset. I called my brother actually and said “I don’t want to experience new things anymore! I’m done!” 😂

    • @holographic555
      @holographic555 6 месяцев назад +2

      Awww, OP. Thank you for sharing. I totally feel ya!

  • @ladyfoxwf1075
    @ladyfoxwf1075 6 месяцев назад +8

    I can’t imagine anywhere being safe, I’m not in a safe place now, I really hope so one day though

    • @roxanelvgsch
      @roxanelvgsch 6 месяцев назад

      You'll find one!!! Take your time

  • @roxanelvgsch
    @roxanelvgsch 6 месяцев назад +1

    I burst out crying in the very first minutes. The "I handled things for years and now, I'm falling apart" part is exactly what is happening to me right now. I lost so much weight and I'm physically drained while at the same time my mental health making wonders as I'm recovering from traumas.
    So I'm feeling happy and safe and completely perpetually exhausted...

  • @cutienerdgirl
    @cutienerdgirl 6 месяцев назад +14

    It really does take a community to heal from truama. I went to visit my extended family that's out of state in late-June and hanging around with them showed me what real familial love is like. I was so defensive and non-trusting for the whole week was around them until the second to last day because I was used to living with people who constantly had ulterior motvies and turned everything into a fight. I'm back "home" now and I'm always on edge again. 😥

    • @MrNicoJac
      @MrNicoJac Месяц назад

      And what's the lesson that you were taught by that experience?

  • @Dragonmoon8526
    @Dragonmoon8526 6 месяцев назад +18

    That's one thing I've come to appreciate about this channel. As some of the other comments refelct.
    We are so quick to isolate ourselves from others. Holding onto the core beliefs of brokenness, no one going through the same pain, no one able to sympathize, understand, or care.
    But, with a posotive environments, such as Mended Light, that people can understand they're not alone, there are others with similar struggles, and things can improve.
    It takes time, work, and alot of self reflection and extrospection towards others. But, with time, change can be acheived.

  • @lindaherbert2522
    @lindaherbert2522 6 месяцев назад +3

    The people I would like to give a shout out to are those in the mended light community, from the sessions in the innate healing class by Alicia to my therapist Andrea I feel so freed by the experience. Thank you so much

  • @cianlacy6515
    @cianlacy6515 6 месяцев назад +14

    Thanks for all you guys do, you’ve inspired me recently to be more honest with my parents about things that I held close to my chest through childhood and now I feel like we can really start healing 👍

  • @YBlvr
    @YBlvr 6 месяцев назад

    There’s an incredible quote in Ip Man 2 where the titular character Ip Man says “人的地位雖然有高低之分,但人格不應該有貴賤之別”. This can be translated into “although there may be differences in people’s status, there should not be a difference in the worth of people’s integrity”. We all deserve love, care, and respect as human beings. Trauma may change how much we believe in that statement, but it’s profoundly true.

  • @emmacraig8964
    @emmacraig8964 6 месяцев назад +3

    Could y’all possibly discuss how to maintain confidence when others put you down or don’t show you respect? This is something I deal with from time to time and it’s definitely a challenge!

  • @sararuiz2774
    @sararuiz2774 6 месяцев назад +3

    I so get the micro-traumas thing. My parents were great and are great, but they had their things and being the eldest they placed a lot of expectations on me. It led to me equating love with perfectionism and not letting me voice or emotions be heard. By the time the major trauma of my mom dying happened I was already so numb and an emotional void that I couldn’t address the major trauma because I was already so numb to my emotions and feeling safe that my mom dying didn’t register as being a trauma. I was already feeling frozen and detached that my mom dying just further detached me and drove me into perfectionism and using that to connect with others. It took therapy and finding people who accepted me even when I was a mess that made me open up and start dealing with all the traumas.

  • @RoarTheRapper
    @RoarTheRapper 6 месяцев назад +7

    Hearing you list off the list of even small things we might’ve had traumatic experiences made me realize how many things I might’ve gone through in my life, because I resonate with some of those emotional feelings of not being safe even if I know I’m in a safe environment. I appreciate you guys really diving into this, I studied psychology in school but I can use all the help I can get with making sure I’m aware of my definitions in my mindsets being correct with what the data shows.

  • @RoseBeariess
    @RoseBeariess 5 месяцев назад

    When I finally started remembering past trauma because my brain finally felt safe enough to do so, it was so hard. My entire life basically shattered. It was pretty bad. But it was because I had held it together all those years and then finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I’m post falling apart (hopefully I don’t repeat that experience) now and feel much stronger on the other side. Because I survived, I did the *one* thing those who hurt me didn’t want. I have become my own person and I can’t be controlled by them anymore.

  • @ClaraReynolds-ne7tn
    @ClaraReynolds-ne7tn 6 месяцев назад +7

    Thank you for another lovely video! If you would ever like to do a reaction video for a show regarding trauma I highly recommend reacting to some clips of Kaz Brekker in the show Shadow and Bone. After a traumatic experience he endured as a child, he gets triggered by touch very severely. He has vivid flashbacks and can’t do anything without wearing his gloves. He is very guarded, but is slowly improving with the help of his found family.

  • @kierlak
    @kierlak 6 месяцев назад +1

    We get "broken" in relationship/s but we also heal in relationships/s.

  • @redthings8
    @redthings8 6 месяцев назад +3

    This video and some of your others have hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like you're just talking about my life. I wish I felt like I had worth since your loved ones cannot change you but they can give up....

  • @Heffeth
    @Heffeth 6 месяцев назад +2

    Deleated my comment crying because I can't open up. Love you guys anyway.

  • @noteblock1071
    @noteblock1071 6 месяцев назад +2

    I am around more people whom I can trust and it's as you said I'm starting acknowledge that I have wounds from my past. I can see now how much they are affecting me. I don't experience so bad things as others but I'm starting to see that smaller things still had a big impact on me. How I act.

  • @kongspeaks4778
    @kongspeaks4778 6 месяцев назад +2

    My therapist didn't just help me encounter my feelings. She also gave me the support i needed as I slowly started to fix my relationships and CREATE the community I'd always wanted

  • @melbaangel420
    @melbaangel420 6 месяцев назад +3

    Personally speaking there is not enough talk or studies or whatever I don't know about people who grew up with parents they gave them love and compassion and for the most part were amazing parents, but also didn't exactly prepare us for the real world my parents were amazing and yeah my mom could be toxic sometimes but she really did an amazing job. And yes I know I have trauma from my childhood but I did not have a traumatic childhood. It wasn't until I got in the real world that I actually experienced would I would have called the real trauma

    • @melbaangel420
      @melbaangel420 6 месяцев назад +1

      Okay never mind I figured out where my traumatic childhood comes from. And it wasn't the people who were mean to me that weren't my friends, it was the people who said they were my friends and would talk behind my back and would walk behind me so they could take off when I wasn't looking

  • @ddhallow4699
    @ddhallow4699 6 месяцев назад +5

    Thank you so much for posting this. Everyone needs to hear this and I know I've benefited from information like this. Appreciate you guys and keep shining!

  • @mariaana6710
    @mariaana6710 6 месяцев назад +2

    Or those kids we're so unloved or experience so much violence, that they could ve living worst than me... Remember, a high number of abusing people were abused.

  • @holographic555
    @holographic555 6 месяцев назад +4

    I love your team up with expertise, insights, perspective and good sage advice! Great vids. Keep it up!

  • @mangantasy289
    @mangantasy289 4 месяца назад

    1:37 that's the case for me. Took me years to even dare to think that and some mor to actually speak it out. But yes, I never could really feel safe. It was like constantly walking on eggshelf, always scanning the mood of others (mostly my mother, really. She had BPD), being vigilant to not do anything that might displease them. But it was impossible to predict... so it felt a lot like best would be to not really exist, to sort of dissapear....
    It's hard to think about it's way to much and to complex for youtube comments. I'm absoultely warped and carrying lots of mental (and physical, mostly due to chronical severe eating disorders) health issues. I am in treatment though, but once more in a very dark place. (and it feels like an eternity to have been there, withonly more and more sh* keeps being stacked onto me already collapsed to the ground...).
    Just wanted to thank you. IT somehow feels good to watch you videos, hear you talk, your advices (wich often I sort of know already but still just can't follow). And even if I feel like a lost case, I hope there are people who you can reach that still have the energy to act and who don't have the luxury to have counceler. I'm rather sure you can really help people.
    Kudos to your your constant efforts.

  • @ausheiteremhimmel9981
    @ausheiteremhimmel9981 6 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for your videos - allways on point, many times directly speaking in my life. Could you make a video abour how to recover from a breakup, if it was in peace? I can't be mad at my former boyfriend, because he was so nice at the break up. But nevertheless, I am in shock and just surviving one hour each seems nearly impossible.

  • @lastshanty
    @lastshanty 4 месяца назад

    This was such a good video. One thing that I thought was helpful to see how Jono reframed his childhood experience. Reminds me of Kung Fu Panda 2 actually, how Po tells Shen that his origins don't have to define him.
    Also to begin to see your own worth, and slowly let go of the opinions of more unkind people from one's past is a step I was glad to hear about

  • @Ghostykitten
    @Ghostykitten 6 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this video. I think both my husband and I have experienced both the macro and micro traumas from both childhood and evrn recently. Amd unfortunately its been putting our relationship under a lot of pressure, luckily were both going into therapy but its still hard. I had a lpt of medical trauma this year and my husband saw a lot of it unfortunately. We both are struggling a lot still

    • @roxanelvgsch
      @roxanelvgsch 6 месяцев назад

      You're on the right path!! Take care!!

  • @ryanthorne5432
    @ryanthorne5432 6 месяцев назад +1

    The military community has lots of trauma to with.

  • @forgesoulfire1320
    @forgesoulfire1320 6 месяцев назад +2

    Just out of a positive psychological curiosity, at what point do we count our observations of those around us as judgements and not just analytical observation?

  • @bencohen2422
    @bencohen2422 6 месяцев назад +1

    Please make a video about the TV show Fringe.

  • @mariaana6710
    @mariaana6710 6 месяцев назад

    Veeeeeery good!!

  • @bencohen2422
    @bencohen2422 6 месяцев назад +1

    Please make a video about the anime Mushoku Tensei.