Thank you. My ex is a malignant narcissist and this gives me an honest perspective because we did have a strong bond and reading other people saying "she/he never loved you" doesnt really help. Your doing a great job
“Malignant narcissist“. Ha. What a ridiculous term to use. You been watching that narcissist Ramani or something?… When I hear people using these terms, I know they have no idea what the hell they’re talking about.
Both sociopath and psychopath are under the umbrella of ASPD now for decades, so both are made not being born with. Thank you for accepting the diagnosis and working on your traits. I wish you the best
A lot of people with personality disorders do have anhedonia. I don't, afaik, have a personality disorder, but I do experience the numbed and sometimes disregulated emotions. Like, I can't experience certain emotions, so I have to look at external cues to see if I'm having them. I almost never get around to figuring out why I'm having them. I even have this with hunger, which is very dulled for me. A lot of times I remember to eat because I'm tired and out of energy. That's a trauma thing.
Thank you SO much for this. It obviously took a lot of strength and opened yourself up to start a conversation that really needs to be had. Just because SOME people with NPD are not willing to change or care but that is less and less true as we understand more and more help is available. Not everyone that is mean to you has NPD. Its a learned, diagnosable behavior and it can be improved like any skill with practice. Thank you for putting in the effort, dealing with any mental issue is a long struggle. You have obviously made a lot of progress already, keep going.
Thank you for talking about this. It broke a lot of false beliefs I had about sociopaths due to “pop psychology” and people harmfully throwing around terms without actually knowing what they mean. Please make more content. I would love learn more from someone who’s actually living with this condition.
People who go around calling people narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths etc. to make them look bad, or make themselves feel better... Are diminishing the effects and screwing up the lives of those who had REAL experience with someone who has ASPD.
This popped up on my feed and I'm glad I clicked on it. Thank you for speaking up. We do need to hear more from people suffering with disorders like this. I didn't realize the stigma, but after you mentioned it, I was like wow. Our society is demonizing people who are SUFFERING with these mental disorders. And it's doing nothing to help anyone heal. Maybe if we all put more effort into understanding instead of judging, this world could become a better place.
Replace the word disorder with behavior. People get freaked out with the word disorder. Let’s humanize our strong warriors who don’t use their behavior to destroy others. ❤
Perhaps if we made it more ok for people to be honest about their antisocial emotions, dysregulation, impulsivity and difficulty with empathy, they wouldn't go to such great lengths to fly under radar and resent the hell out of the constant rejection.
@jslaughterofthesoul4939 It's useful to remember that these disorders all fall on a spectrum. Some people with them have more empathy than others, more capacity for prosocial motivations, and a wider range of emotional experience. Some see honesty as an important thing regarding communicating their needs. I'll agree that they can easily construct a sympathy- inducing narrative about suffering when they're working an angle on someone, but I disagree that they don't suffer. I don't think this person has sufficient cause to lie about something that puts her on the hook for being vulnerable...i don't think regular viewing traffic is a good enough payment for it, tbh. It tends to cost them a lot to do a sob story because it skates pretty close to the very deep dark vortex of self-loathing inside. They do suffer a lot, just not quite about the same things or for quite the same reasons as we do. It's also that their suffering becomes very hard to accommodate because it leads to patterns of behavior meant to relieve that suffering that actually cause _more_ to everyone involved due to driving prosocial relationships away. It's like knowing their hand is burning from touching the hot stove and deciding the best way to treat it is by sticking it in the toaster, then getting pissed off at appliance makers for being responsible for them burning their own hands. There's a disconnect about the suffering and the causes and cures of it, but the suffering is certainly there. My father has the exact same diagnosis and honestly I think the only thing worse than the trauma he inflicted on me would be having to actually him forever. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever satisfying. They can't enjoy anything because they're always too busy fixating on ways to make it a better experience. My father is now universally hated by anyone he comes in contact with for too long and unable to manage the courage it takes to see himself as a flawed human being who needs to change for his own sake and everyone else's. He's literally off somewhere in a VA hospital dying alone and is solely responsible for that fact.
This just ended up in my feed. I have friends with ASPD and BPD, who are in therapy. Channels like this are important. It helps re-humanize destructive people who make the effort. There's a big difference between people who work on themselves and make an effort than those who don't, and wouldn't, even if the alternative was worse. That's likely not you, nor anyone else brave enough to admit this stuff publicly. People aren't kind. It's human nature to dump on any stranger who even remotely resembles those who caused us past suffering. It's not right. And, I suspect, is the root of a lot of PDs in the first place. Just a boat load of unnecessary suffering. Ignore the haters, if possible. They can't hate you. They don't even know you. They're just unwittingly perpetuating the cycle. We've all been guilty of that, at some point. I certainly have. PS ~ I ❤your hair. Super cool. 😎👍Cheers. Subscribed.
@@thirstonhowellthebirddid you just call a human being a "thing"? that's disgusting. you're using her lack of feeling visceral empathy to give yourself a pass for behaving sociopathically and call it different.
@@liferadous well until you have had your life turned upside down by someone who is nothing but a liar who loves to hurt people and gets off on it. You’ll continue to judge people who see through vile entities like this. She admits it so what’s your problem?
@@thirstonhowellthebird I have been abused and had my life turned upside down, actually, by more than chronic liar, including one I believe probably had a personality disorder. Those individual people made choices to abuse, not everyone with a certain diagnosis does. I am still responsible for the way I treat others, and I still see all human beings as human beings. Do you really think you putting hatred on this woman on the internet who is sharing her perspective does anything for abuse survivors or anything to heal you? Your trauma is not a pass to mistreat others.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and insights. I'm a policy maker working in the field of mental health, and there absolutely exist working treatments for various personality disorders. Yes, many such disorders are hard to treat, but I believe one of the biggest challenges are the stigmas and lack of awareness that causes people to just want to push the issue away rather than invest in these treatments and - crucially - invest in these people who suffer from such disorders. It is too easy to stigmatize people who have gone through life experiences that have forced them to adapt to behavioural patterns that cause problems to themselves and others as somehow "less than human". When in fact that is perhaps the most human behavior of all, only most of us happen to fall into patterns which are not deemed as scary by society.
Yeah exactly am not even trying to be mean but she looks scary af and a just can't trust a word that's said am just being honest a hope this clear message helps
>scary Bro, this is cognitive bias... You're ONLY saying this, because you know about what she is diagnosed with. That's bad, that's judgemental and I'm sure you wouldn't like people doing that about stuff you literally can't control? Shit is an mental illness bro
A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh and is usually not meant to be interpreted literally.[1] It usually takes the form of a story, often with dialogue, and ends in a punch line, whereby the humorous element of the story is revealed; this can be done using a pun or other type of word play, irony or sarcasm, logical incompatibility, hyperbole, or other means.[2] Linguist Robert Hetzron offers the definition: Boris Yeltsin and Bill Clinton enjoying a joke A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral," it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there is no obligation to reproduce the text verbatim, as in the case of poetry.[3]
Your content is very insightful. #suggestion for a video: what are some of the ways you've tried to hurt people when you're on a sadistic streak? Maybe this awareness will help your viewers protect their self-esteem if they experience harmful/destructive acts from others. Thank you ❤️
ASPD is more manageable than NPD actually. Pure NPDs have a more fragile ego you know... Antisocial traits kinda mean that the person accepts hard truths better than the toxic positive types.
Definitely. In spite of the tendency towards violence and turbulence, I always had an easier time being blunt with my ASPD patients in the psych hospital than NPD by a long shot. They were more receptive to feedback.
You are conflating traits vs disorder in your point. Your point is tenuous and doesn’t make sense. Your prevaricating and equivocating discourse, actually suggests plenty about your own traits, and possible disorder. And no, changing as an NPD is NOT easier than as ASPD. There is far more that goes into than your bumper sticker rhetoric. And its typically ASPD that is FAR more difficult to change or manage. Thanks for that drugstore psychology comment.
Hi Delta! Have you tried Psilocybin mushrooms, and if so, did you have a meaningful experience?(Ego Death) How do mushrooms affect a Narcissist's internal world and there after? Can they change from this experience? Thought? Replies?
I'm wondering about people with NPD and their ability to enjoy the things in life that don't directly benefit them in some way. Like, if someone only cares about people or things when there's something they can extract for their personal benefit from said people or things, and in the absence of a benefit they no longer care about said people or things, then can people with NPD sit down by themselves, put on some headphones and enjoy listening to music? Or, reading a really great novel that takes you out of this reality and puts you into the world created in the story? Or a great film that does something similar? Like Clive Bell's idea of "aesthetic emotion", a transcendent place that great works of art can take you to. But, in order to experience this (according to Bell) one must not be thinking about themselves. I'm struggling to understand what it really means to only care about yourself and nobody else, or if you do care about someone else, it's only a superficial and fragile sort of bond that must be transactional and benefit the narcissist in some direct way. Any insights on that? Sorry if this was offensive.
Thank you for sharing your perspective on these disorders. It’s refreshing to hear an honest take on two very stigmatised cluster B disorders, and learn what it’s like to live with them instead of hearing more pop psychology crap about why you should turn heel and run at the first possible opportunity if you meet a sociopath/narcissist. I’ve been wanting to learn more about NPD and ASPD because I’m starting to suspect that I have NPD, but every time I look for information about it, I get pop psychology crap about how to hurt/discard a narcissist. I really can’t thank you enough for this.
I assume the emotional spectrum is probably narrowed? Since I guess the purpose of the disorder is to not feel powerless, helpless, shame, guilt, despair, fears and similar negative painful emotions anymore (replacing them with anger, contempt, hate which are all rather very similar, projected outwards instead of in touch with your own pain). I wonder if you have moments of being in touch with those emotions?
Yes. Absolutely dreadful. Basically a woman described it as the biggest needy wreck she has ever seen. So not realistic at all to acknowledge them or have them outside of therapy.... These emotions really only live in art, look at some old paintings, lots of vengeance, lust and spite, hatred, envy, contempt, disdain. Whether it's people on people, people on nature, man versus himself, liminal hell scapes. All projections of internal feelings. Can't really tell people these things. This becomes more obvious as you age. It always will be at the level of a bottle ready Burst. I cannot let that cap off... It's bad for everyone. It gets blown off sometimes and my brain cannot perceive myself as the issue. As the bottle is always ready to Burst... It's literally my job to just not interact with certain people long term, and there's for me too. As long as you can accept you still have a place in society and on earth as a human being however different, don't fall into endless solipsism or hedonism, it's a lot easier to control everything. Those two things cause snowballing effects that can lead to year of misery till you "snap out of it" so to say 🥴
OK so what is your opinion of a woman with npd who I have ignored for a while because of her abuse, contacting me and triggering my b.p.d. (Same Cluster) and manipulating the childhood sexual abuse i suffered by lying about the father of her daughter saying he did that to her, all for her own selfish wants and yes she had me running to the rescue, now i hate her, is she a sicko in your eyes?
Not a sicko! Damaged and in chronic need for attention! Negative attention is attention too! Even better. They use it to look like a victim or to pretent to relate to a true victim to ride along that victimhood with her! But the actions they execute are evil and causes many people a lot of pain! So it should be punished of course, but the person herself is in the end indeed a victim too. Of something that happened deep in her past! That is why she can not be anything else then she is as an adult! My cousin (since baby, but in this anekdote about 3 yo) was damaged by her father neclecting her and one day moved to another country, while my sister was waiting with my cousin, because her father supposed to pick her up for the weekend stay at his place!. Another daughter of him (much older already then my cousin) lived nearby the father and wanted to visit him that morning and he was just packing the last things into the car before leaving! She have seen him twice since then (she is 12 now), just because she wanted to visite him in that other country! He never came here again!) But since that he left she became angry all the time! She always was seeking fights and her mother (my sister) only became angry then, just as het granddad and grand ma (my parents). I always stayed kind to her and only asked question or made a sensible remark. I knew it didn't make her stop at that moment, but wanted to plant seeds in her head for the positive! Then a huge explosion came one Christmas (I believe she was 6 or 7 yo then (the length of a 12 yo. She is very tall)) evening at my parents house! Everybody was shouting and screaming at her and telling her how she ruined the whole Christmas and how evil she was! She went into a hall way and trowed around some stuff. I went after her, grabbed her around the waist and hold her tightly but soft at the same time! She was raging and screaming that I had to let her go and that I was raping her! Then my parents and my sister started to scream at me! That I only made things worse! They even tried to pull me off her! And while they were pulling, she was hitting me too! But I kept holding her and my parents and sister went to another room and sometimes came back to shout at me. They were crying too! But after the pulling thing, I went sitting down on the ground with her. She was very strong. All muscles, very sportive. I think we were sitting there about more then 2 hours! Then she was exhausted. She cried and begged me to let her go! And after that she tried a few times more to escape. I was exhausted too, but if I had let her go it would all be for nothing! I waited until finally she went quiet. Then I started to stroke her on her head and give her soft kisses on top of her head. hugged her. She started crying again and finally felt asleep! When everything was quiet, my parents and sister came and watched us. I "ssted" to them and then they let us be! Somewhere that evening my sister came to pick her up (we were still sitting/ lying on the ground. She was sleeping. I helped her carrying her to a bed upstairs. SInce then, she is a completely different person! Well, still stubborn, but never tantrums again, she needs to be convinced every time she has to do chores, but she is relaxed and can say nice thing to others, which she didn't before! Always name calling and making annoying sounds. Why did that embracement worked? Because, that was why she was so mad! The man in her live who had to love her, where she should have felt save with and should have had as a save place to be with whenever she felt bad, wasn't there! He even betrayed her at the moment she was waiting for him! Daddy had told her by leaving her that way that; "You are not worthy to be loved by me!" And that is what she was convinced of! Nobody wanted her really and she wasn't worth! But she screamed to be loved! All the tantrums were her saying ;"Please somebody love me!" Even when I am desperate and angry! Please understand me!" And that is what I tried (and succeeded) to do! I was there for here (and as a man. that is maybe important too)! And no matter what she did and how she tried to offend me or hurt me, I kept her embraced! I was showing her she was loved by me, no matter how she would hurt me! I would never let her go! And that was the message she was so desperately longing for to hear! That was what she wanted to feel! Be loved! Be worth! No matter what! And although is was instinctive done by me. Never ever done such thing before. I knew that was the right thing to do! I felt her pain! (somehow I have that with people. Feel what they feel when close to me) I actually just did what I felt I would want being her. And it turned out to be exactly that! But the risk was, if I, at any moment, had let her go any time before she fel asleep, everything was lost and maybe even worse! Why? Because, the moment she fel asleep, that was the moment her brain realized she was save enough in my arms to fall asleep and knew nothing bad would happen! The few times before she rized up again and cried were because her brain was still fighting and anxious that she wasn't save, even when she already was exhausted physically! I am convinced that many people are damaged like she was and what I did could help many people! The only difficult thing is, the person who needs to be the guard and the "savior" so to speak needs to be somebody the person in need has a bond with somehow, needs to be mentally strong, physically strong and prepared to undergo the proces too and have all the time in the world, because it is the one in need who decides when that "session"is finished! The best thing even is, that when the person in need has fallen asleep, that the guardian stays with her/him, lays next to them until they wake up again! This way their brain can be fully convinced they are save and will not be abandoned! Oh and, The guardian needs to say as little as possible!!! Only show affection in expression and non-verbal behavior! And when woken up, the needed person needs to be the one who starts speaking! When they do, that means their brain has completed the task and has had no interruptions before closure set in. Then I promise you. That person truly has changed! The brain is reset and allows itself to love and trust again! Even when I worked in prison and Big guys who were raging. I went up to them, just went sitting in their nearness and just be. And when they looked at me I looked back neutrally with a slight "it's OK' expression. And when they were done I could notice the longing in their eyes for that moment to happen! No matter my emotions, somebody knows me, trust me and isn't judging me for them! Those moment I used to walk them back to their cells because that is where they wanted to be in that moment! Knowing they wanted to cry and in a kind of way, reset their brain too! Knowing that there is still somebody caring for them! Because that is what lots of people miss in their lives! And rage is mostly a need for attention! or a outing of being treated unjust! Real emotional rage that is! Rage born from intimidation or meant to manipulate is a whole different story and looks different from rage from emotion. Knowing this difference and what to do and 99,99% of the time you can stir and help people in a way they will be ever grateful! (when it is in their character normally!) And some times even when they normally never grateful as I experienced once, but that is next level which I do not fully understand as of yet.
@@MultiTipsieThis is amazing, I'm so glad to hear this child was safed! 🙏 And that's exactly what we need to do with children like this, they are still developing so it's much easier to rewire for them again at that age. I've been one of those who were abandoned and emotionally abused and developed rage but also hypervigliance and copedendency. But I do want to say as someone who has healed themselves from it, as adults we've built up so many layers and layers of more and more pain that it takes many years to peel those back and recover again. Healing takes time and real commitment from adults. Most people are vulnerable to get hurt by other adults so it's not always wise to attempt to do this, typically this is something that is better done within a therapy setting, constellation therapy for instance.
I think it can have an early onset that some people with disorders get addicted to throwing off the honest world view of others. My past friend with ASPD & HPD certainly does.
Hi there, I see myself as a loving and caring person. For people who I deem good or at least try and have good intent towards others! I even will defend total strangers when those seem to me a good person and/or an underdog! However, bad people or people with bad intent I do intensively hate! When I notice bad intent or see somebody doing things I deem bad, I attack! Mostly in words! I've worked as a bouncer, army (war veteran) police officer, worked for the justice department and security like high risk, events and hooligans! This all for more then 30 years. I just had to fight (if you can call it that, maybe a handful of times). In private I am more prone to escalate because it is personal then. As I said, because of this all I use my mouth (very intensely and ordinary when I think that solves the problem or somebody is annoying with the intention to annoy). When I fight, the lights go out! I go all in and somebody else has to stop me! Just before or when fighting I feel immensely excited and happy! For me, that feeling is ( I think) because I can get justice at that moment for all the moments I couldn't! For the psychiatrist it is because I enjoy it for what it is. Attacking somebody else. Being good for the other is only what I say but lie about, they say! Or at least, when reading their reports I find out they think that! I don't! I am always genuine! I always am honest about what I say and mean! And always, everybody interpret those things as lies or manipulation! That's maybe why I hate people so much! Lying people are always believed! When you are honest, they are convinced you lie! Even after a hundred times that they know you've told the truth, just one memory mistake and I am a pathological liar in their eyes! This behavior made me hate other people so bad the last year or so, I just have no boundaries anymore in what I say and if I feel angry enough to want to attack somebody physically I also just say it very clearly! SO now I also am a-social in the eyes of everybody! I am diagnosed with being a cluster B personality and found untreatable by psychiatrists! The last thing I did is I worked in jail. And we had a psychiatric wing with the "worst of the country" living there. Some were fighting every day, most with personnel! I never had any problems with any of them! I laughed and chatted with them! When there was trouble and I arrived (or already was there when tensions brew) I could just walk to that "aggressive" inmate and talk and got them come along voluntary with me to their cel or the isolation rooms. I also guided a woman for a few months, who even the worst men were afraid of, together with a prof MMA-fighter (very kind and soft guy) . She never ever fought or became angry with me! I was the first one ever who was allowed into her cell and a few days before she left to another facility, she cooked for me! We ate together and she almost cried when we said goodbye! No one ever had seen her cry! I think I did something good then! Strangely, I never felt angry towards them too! To my colleagues! To my colleagues I was almost angry at a daily base! What an arrogant annoying people! Not all! But enough to have had fights with them and finally I was fired because of it! They were the ones that started it! I ended it! So I was the bad one! My question to you is; Am I really what they say I am? A cluster B person? (The psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, borderliners etcetera are in this group.) I can't see it! I think I am a good person who is very good towards good people (and animals) and very aggressive towards bad people! Since kids can be good and evil too I do not treat them differently! Only that I be very protective, next to very kind, to good kids, and always warn bad kids that I am mad at them, why I am, what they can do to stop it and that I will not spare them when they continu with their bad behavior! If they continu I will hit them or grab them and tell them I am not like their parents and I will hurt them if they decide to continu (again)! BUT...when I see they learned from it and starting to behave kind (and I monitor them closely every time I am around), I will reward that too! I will tell them that I like their good side and that I will continu liking them when they decide to stay kind! Never was a child a bully anymore after that! And the kind children are always happy to see me! I have two of my own. I only see my daughter now. She is twelve and the sweetest girl! I never had to be angry at her! And a son of 15, who lives with his mother and stepdad and is in puberty so no time to see me. I always treated them as adults when it came to raising them and let them decide things for themselves, tell them the advantages and disadvantages of their choices made (within boundaries) and I have the final word whether I think it is a good idea. I hardly ever had to intervene because they did something bad. because they never have bad intent (or doing something bad in the first place)! And when they make mistakes, I tell what and how to correct it! Never get angry at them! Not necessary either! In my mind, it is most others (90%) that are a-social! And lots of people in prison are good people, but damaged and made angry by others! The real criminals are walking around in the free world! Lots of bosses and "leaders"who are judged as great people are evil! And I always tell them this when necessary! Not helping myself at all with that. It is my impulsivity. Am I wrong?
@@Hizsoo Thanks! You are completely right! The problem is that due to multiple traumata I have no control over my emotions! I hate it that I can't control myself! But been at every kind of therapy already and most couldn't do anything because it was too complicated. And the ones I have had, were lowering it a bit and /or it was significantly better after, but then, through time it came back again. Communications is autism related. From my perspective, I can only say what I feel. The probleme is that almost everybody says something else as then what they mean. And then the recieving siede has some decoder in their brain and takes it as it is meant to be. For me I just have to gamble. The other way around too. I say somethingand the receiver makes the weirdest interpretations of what I said. In my view not even close to what I literally have said. It is too bizar for me and people refuse to explain, because they are convinced I just pretend I don't know and immediately a fight is born. That is why I isolate myself from others. Not that I want to be alone, but it is still better then all those conflicts that even the simplest thing I say can provoke! It truly is too weird for me and this way it is the savest for eveybody I suppose! But again, Normally you are totally right but apparently my universe works very mysterious. It is what it is! I do appreciate your input though! Thank you!
@@MultiTipsie If you can't relate to someone, than you could learn about them or ask for help. Those are the expedient things to do. I think you have the most problem with dismissive people.
That's the issue. You aren't the arbiter of who's good or bad. You are the sum of your interactions with others. You're self isn't the view you have of yourself outside of a social context. Different context? Different you bro, even more true for cluster B peeps
@@AnimosityIncarnate Partly you sound logic from a overviewing perspective. The other part I can not understand fully of what you say. maybe it is my lack of the language or maybe you use kinda slang sentences which are unknown to me and thus I was not able to interpret them. However, I can only view myself from within and know exactly where my thoughts come from and my feelings coming from those thoughts. Ergo, whatever the opinion of the other individual or group, I know what my own intentions, feelings and thoughts are! When not comprehended by others and when, due to their feedback, it is established they are wrong about my feelings, thoughts and intentions, it is clear they do not see me for who I am. And my actions not for what they entail and thus are worth! Ergo, I am not what other people want me to be! I am that I am and not what I am not, just because others say I am not! Their perspective is irrelevant for who I truly am! It is only relevant for how they treat me and according to that I react, which gives them dynamically a new perspective, whether that be the same, more positive, more negative, or different without a change in value! So What I understand from what you say is; I am what others want me to be or how other perceive me! Well, that is not in line with logic or truth! It only is in line with perceived truth which mostly differ from real truth or real reality! And following the DSM V about cluster B types I can wholeheartedly say, and with great certainty, I am not even closely related to that category! In practice, many people judge like you! "You are what I want you to be and expect you to behave in that way, otherwise I am entitled to attack you and or treat you that way until you fit my believes about you!" Well , if that is the case, then you can be right of me being an a-social type towards that person. The other way around the other person is a-social from my point of view by pushing their believes on my person! That is sadly the reality of to date and is what starts and keeps fueling many wars! The way people these days are are like this; "If you are not like me or as I want to see you, you are my enemy and I am totally entitles to destroy you! At the same time I am peace loving and non-aggressive and preaching equity and inclusion!" So, From what I understood from your reaction is that you belong to those groups. If I am wrong, please correct me and please with clear sentences, because this is not my native language and the only time I use it is here on YT. It is just that those groups are absolutely wrong and a-social, even when practiced as a "social"group! The true way to behave socially is opposite of what they practize! So let me be the a-social to the a-socials! That way I know I am on the right path and everybody who tries to stir me away will have to meet the consequences! Don't mind me and I don't mind you!
Not a single soul assumes that you people love other people more than animals 😂😂 the first one is false, i have never seen a psychopath or sociopath who loves humans 😂😅
My point was more that people assume we all hate animals. Some of us do, but some of us really enjoy animals. I’m pretty sure all of us hate humans more though 😂
Everyone has had a traumatic childhood. But not everyone continues to blame their behaviors on the past. Staying in the victim mindset. Everything is a lesson or a blessing. Find the lessons an appreciate the blessing, to grow. Splitting, black or white, love or hate. Jeckle or hyde. My mother would get pets in the spring and have them put down in the fall. She was not an animal lover and we grew up on a farm. But after the children grew up and moved away and our father died she got pets and like serial killers took lots of pictures before she murdered them.
People don’t choose how they respond to trauma. I didn’t choose to develop personality disorders. It’s a process to learn, understand the diagnoses, and grow. Belittling and minimizing someone else’s experience and shaming how they responded to trauma isn’t going to help people like me “change.”
@@dammitdelta you will only change when it stops getting you what you want. Personality disorders are only disorders for adults that still use the behaviors. It's very common in children. It's a failure to mature. For most people life has a way of punching you in the face if you use those childish behaviors. You did choose your behaviors. Personality traits are 100% chosen by every person. Whatever the 5 traits that qualify you to get diagnosed with npd, pick 1 and stop doing it. Whatever the opposite is do that. Then pick another. It's that easy
@@arthurlangille4604 huh? You aren't doing anything to shame us bro. Calling the behaviour childish is causing people not to change btw, I'm a realist, children usually aren't manipulative and sadistic. They just aren't lmao
I classify as “malignant” for my NPD subtype, but I’ve done significant work on it. I have my moments still and have a long way to go, but I’ve learned to better manage my sadism and antagonistic behavior.
@@dammitdelta most narcissist I know have no desire to change because they are extremely grandiose and can't take responsibility for ever doing anything wrong. They just blame everyone else.
Are you just listing "no true Scotsman" fallacies that help people maintain their dehumanizing ideas about personality disorders? because those are the first two things people say to me when I disclose my BPD and ask for empathy to be extended to others like me
@@dammitdeltayou are in lala land! I'm sure you are aware enough to understand these so called mental disorders are dark and demonic. Narcissism alone if you look at the hallmarks 👉 entitlement, pride, haughty, cheating, back stabber, coward, manipulation, user, malicious, sadistic, takers, imposter, exploiter no empathy can't put self in another's shoes, false self..ect a whole cohort of demons. So whether you believe God or not you are aware of the demonic possession! So the way I see it 👉 the demons in you want you to have nothing to do with God because that's how they feel and they project it on you! If you get healed then they no longer have a host!
@@SleazyRider86 what kind of doctor do you recommend? The word Psych comes from the Greek means Soul*, iatrist/iatros means doctor. Soul* is more than just mental! Famous so called psychiatrists like Dr phill say Narcs are incurable very low chance of improving.. When it comes to these types of demons the medical world can't help.
I’m actually rather low functioning but have done a lot of work on myself. You don’t have to feel the emotion to love someone. What I call love might not be love to you, but it’s the closest thing I experience to it.
@@dammitdeltaLove functions like a drug. Some symptoms are that you are attached to the other person and feel a greater need to look for similarities with them. Technically people constantly have emotion, even in apathy.
Interesting, I like female sociopaths, the male ones are too aggressive and often annoying in my experience. I am Borderline bipolar so I have some anti-social, but mostly Asperger's.
Thank u for sharing. Please take care of yourself and don't hurt or play head games ......if you fo that and ur behavior goes out of control...u young lady could end up in prision And u won't last long
Seriously? Way to completely invalidate something honest and powerful. Can you please just not use some one talking about personal trauma as a chance to hit on someone. She even said she already has a partner she would die for if you had listened. Not the appropriate place. At least you admitted to being a jerk 😅 but why take the effort to type it then? I'm genuinely curious what kind of response you were expecting, for science. 😂
Thank you. My ex is a malignant narcissist and this gives me an honest perspective because we did have a strong bond and reading other people saying "she/he never loved you" doesnt really help. Your doing a great job
“Malignant narcissist“. Ha. What a ridiculous term to use. You been watching that narcissist Ramani or something?…
When I hear people using these terms, I know they have no idea what the hell they’re talking about.
Both sociopath and psychopath are under the umbrella of ASPD now for decades, so both are made not being born with. Thank you for accepting the diagnosis and working on your traits. I wish you the best
Yeah, it seem that it is always a mix of environment and genes.
Not entirely accurate, but OK
My ex was diagnosed also. His sadistic streaks still affect me and my adult kids 2+ decades later.
A lot of people with personality disorders do have anhedonia.
I don't, afaik, have a personality disorder, but I do experience the numbed and sometimes disregulated emotions. Like, I can't experience certain emotions, so I have to look at external cues to see if I'm having them. I almost never get around to figuring out why I'm having them. I even have this with hunger, which is very dulled for me. A lot of times I remember to eat because I'm tired and out of energy. That's a trauma thing.
Thank you SO much for this. It obviously took a lot of strength and opened yourself up to start a conversation that really needs to be had. Just because SOME people with NPD are not willing to change or care but that is less and less true as we understand more and more help is available. Not everyone that is mean to you has NPD. Its a learned, diagnosable behavior and it can be improved like any skill with practice. Thank you for putting in the effort, dealing with any mental issue is a long struggle. You have obviously made a lot of progress already, keep going.
Thank you for talking about this. It broke a lot of false beliefs I had about sociopaths due to “pop psychology” and people harmfully throwing around terms without actually knowing what they mean. Please make more content. I would love learn more from someone who’s actually living with this condition.
People who go around calling people narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths etc. to make them look bad, or make themselves feel better...
Are diminishing the effects and screwing up the lives of those who had REAL experience with someone who has ASPD.
This popped up on my feed and I'm glad I clicked on it. Thank you for speaking up. We do need to hear more from people suffering with disorders like this. I didn't realize the stigma, but after you mentioned it, I was like wow. Our society is demonizing people who are SUFFERING with these mental disorders. And it's doing nothing to help anyone heal. Maybe if we all put more effort into understanding instead of judging, this world could become a better place.
Replace the word disorder with behavior.
People get freaked out with the word disorder. Let’s humanize our strong warriors who don’t use their behavior to destroy others.
❤
You bit the hook. A psychopath/sociopath is not suffering, they only inflict it.
Perhaps if we made it more ok for people to be honest about their antisocial emotions, dysregulation, impulsivity and difficulty with empathy, they wouldn't go to such great lengths to fly under radar and resent the hell out of the constant rejection.
@jslaughterofthesoul4939 It's useful to remember that these disorders all fall on a spectrum. Some people with them have more empathy than others, more capacity for prosocial motivations, and a wider range of emotional experience. Some see honesty as an important thing regarding communicating their needs. I'll agree that they can easily construct a sympathy- inducing narrative about suffering when they're working an angle on someone, but I disagree that they don't suffer. I don't think this person has sufficient cause to lie about something that puts her on the hook for being vulnerable...i don't think regular viewing traffic is a good enough payment for it, tbh. It tends to cost them a lot to do a sob story because it skates pretty close to the very deep dark vortex of self-loathing inside. They do suffer a lot, just not quite about the same things or for quite the same reasons as we do.
It's also that their suffering becomes very hard to accommodate because it leads to patterns of behavior meant to relieve that suffering that actually cause _more_ to everyone involved due to driving prosocial relationships away. It's like knowing their hand is burning from touching the hot stove and deciding the best way to treat it is by sticking it in the toaster, then getting pissed off at appliance makers for being responsible for them burning their own hands. There's a disconnect about the suffering and the causes and cures of it, but the suffering is certainly there. My father has the exact same diagnosis and honestly I think the only thing worse than the trauma he inflicted on me would be having to actually him forever. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever satisfying. They can't enjoy anything because they're always too busy fixating on ways to make it a better experience. My father is now universally hated by anyone he comes in contact with for too long and unable to manage the courage it takes to see himself as a flawed human being who needs to change for his own sake and everyone else's. He's literally off somewhere in a VA hospital dying alone and is solely responsible for that fact.
This just ended up in my feed. I have friends with ASPD and BPD, who are in therapy. Channels like this are important. It helps re-humanize destructive people who make the effort.
There's a big difference between people who work on themselves and make an effort than those who don't, and wouldn't, even if the alternative was worse. That's likely not you, nor anyone else brave enough to admit this stuff publicly. People aren't kind.
It's human nature to dump on any stranger who even remotely resembles those who caused us past suffering. It's not right. And, I suspect, is the root of a lot of PDs in the first place. Just a boat load of unnecessary suffering.
Ignore the haters, if possible. They can't hate you. They don't even know you. They're just unwittingly perpetuating the cycle. We've all been guilty of that, at some point. I certainly have.
PS ~ I ❤your hair. Super cool. 😎👍Cheers. Subscribed.
Well, good luck to you because you’re just being used as an avenue to make money by this thing.
@@thirstonhowellthebird so you don't make any money?
Cause you're either the slave or the master in the world, and that's the reality.
@@thirstonhowellthebirddid you just call a human being a "thing"? that's disgusting. you're using her lack of feeling visceral empathy to give yourself a pass for behaving sociopathically and call it different.
@@liferadous well until you have had your life turned upside down by someone who is nothing but a liar who loves to hurt people and gets off on it. You’ll continue to judge people who see through vile entities like this. She admits it so what’s your problem?
@@thirstonhowellthebird I have been abused and had my life turned upside down, actually, by more than chronic liar, including one I believe probably had a personality disorder. Those individual people made choices to abuse, not everyone with a certain diagnosis does. I am still responsible for the way I treat others, and I still see all human beings as human beings. Do you really think you putting hatred on this woman on the internet who is sharing her perspective does anything for abuse survivors or anything to heal you? Your trauma is not a pass to mistreat others.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and insights. I'm a policy maker working in the field of mental health, and there absolutely exist working treatments for various personality disorders. Yes, many such disorders are hard to treat, but I believe one of the biggest challenges are the stigmas and lack of awareness that causes people to just want to push the issue away rather than invest in these treatments and - crucially - invest in these people who suffer from such disorders. It is too easy to stigmatize people who have gone through life experiences that have forced them to adapt to behavioural patterns that cause problems to themselves and others as somehow "less than human". When in fact that is perhaps the most human behavior of all, only most of us happen to fall into patterns which are not deemed as scary by society.
Adults aren’t fair game
Yeah exactly am not even trying to be mean but she looks scary af and a just can't trust a word that's said am just being honest a hope this clear message helps
>scary
Bro, this is cognitive bias... You're ONLY saying this, because you know about what she is diagnosed with.
That's bad, that's judgemental and I'm sure you wouldn't like people doing that about stuff you literally can't control? Shit is an mental illness bro
A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh and is usually not meant to be interpreted literally.[1] It usually takes the form of a story, often with dialogue, and ends in a punch line, whereby the humorous element of the story is revealed; this can be done using a pun or other type of word play, irony or sarcasm, logical incompatibility, hyperbole, or other means.[2] Linguist Robert Hetzron offers the definition:
Boris Yeltsin and Bill Clinton enjoying a joke
A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral," it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there is no obligation to reproduce the text verbatim, as in the case of poetry.[3]
Its fair game if the asult can brak ur bones and jaw after they discover ur manipulation
@@sugadaddy5771 real shit
Good people don't let their pain hurt others. So even if you have this, if you don't hurt more people, you can be a good person.
Currently in love with a narcissist and trying to understand. I think you are courageous. Thank you! Your videos are very helpful.
R U N !
Fuck you youtube!
Get away from that monster as soon as possible.
It's not possible in the normie way.
So unless you have some anti normative view of love or relationships, don't do it 😂
The fuck are these replies
Your content is very insightful. #suggestion for a video: what are some of the ways you've tried to hurt people when you're on a sadistic streak? Maybe this awareness will help your viewers protect their self-esteem if they experience harmful/destructive acts from others. Thank you ❤️
Thank you, have a good one
ASPD is more manageable than NPD actually. Pure NPDs have a more fragile ego you know... Antisocial traits kinda mean that the person accepts hard truths better than the toxic positive types.
Definitely. In spite of the tendency towards violence and turbulence, I always had an easier time being blunt with my ASPD patients in the psych hospital than NPD by a long shot. They were more receptive to feedback.
I agree with this and have noticed this difference in my mutuals with pure NPD.
Yes, I think so as well!
You are conflating traits vs disorder in your point. Your point is tenuous and doesn’t make sense. Your prevaricating and equivocating discourse, actually suggests plenty about your own traits, and possible disorder.
And no, changing as an NPD is NOT easier than as ASPD. There is far more that goes into than your bumper sticker rhetoric.
And its typically ASPD that is FAR more difficult to change or manage.
Thanks for that drugstore psychology comment.
Hi Delta! Have you tried Psilocybin mushrooms, and if so, did you have a meaningful experience?(Ego Death) How do mushrooms affect a Narcissist's internal world and there after? Can they change from this experience? Thought? Replies?
Hi, can I ask you most important question, what caused you NPD, trauma?
I'm wondering about people with NPD and their ability to enjoy the things in life that don't directly benefit them in some way. Like, if someone only cares about people or things when there's something they can extract for their personal benefit from said people or things, and in the absence of a benefit they no longer care about said people or things, then can people with NPD sit down by themselves, put on some headphones and enjoy listening to music? Or, reading a really great novel that takes you out of this reality and puts you into the world created in the story? Or a great film that does something similar? Like Clive Bell's idea of "aesthetic emotion", a transcendent place that great works of art can take you to. But, in order to experience this (according to Bell) one must not be thinking about themselves. I'm struggling to understand what it really means to only care about yourself and nobody else, or if you do care about someone else, it's only a superficial and fragile sort of bond that must be transactional and benefit the narcissist in some direct way. Any insights on that? Sorry if this was offensive.
@MasterSplinterPDX superficial, fragile, and must be useful for the narcissist to have real interest in them.
I appreciate you so much. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s been so helpful to me. I hope your life fills with good things♥️
Im glad it’s helpful. Thank you!
Broo the eyes blinkk mf blinkk
Bruhh fr
Try spelling and punctuation before talking about someone's blinking habits.
all trauma from childhood
This is absolutely disgusting. Why would anyone watch this nastiness. I don’t know why this came up in my feed. Creepy evil just gross.
😳
Hello Delta. Do you feel the emotion of jealousy?
Thank you for sharing your perspective on these disorders. It’s refreshing to hear an honest take on two very stigmatised cluster B disorders, and learn what it’s like to live with them instead of hearing more pop psychology crap about why you should turn heel and run at the first possible opportunity if you meet a sociopath/narcissist. I’ve been wanting to learn more about NPD and ASPD because I’m starting to suspect that I have NPD, but every time I look for information about it, I get pop psychology crap about how to hurt/discard a narcissist. I really can’t thank you enough for this.
Dang is that Wednesday on the Adam's family??
My ex-wife has BPD. This video is on point I think.
That empty eyes…
My thoughts
SSRI stare.
It is not empty, it has low astral entity attachment.
If you can't see the tortured soul behind those eyes then you are the empty one
I see lots of suffering in those eyes
❤
Idea, can you show us the movie joke, and show chips, explain him and tell what is true and what is not true.
Please,
Great video thank you
I assume the emotional spectrum is probably narrowed?
Since I guess the purpose of the disorder is to not feel powerless, helpless, shame, guilt, despair, fears and similar negative painful emotions anymore (replacing them with anger, contempt, hate which are all rather very similar, projected outwards instead of in touch with your own pain). I wonder if you have moments of being in touch with those emotions?
Yes.
Absolutely dreadful. Basically a woman described it as the biggest needy wreck she has ever seen.
So not realistic at all to acknowledge them or have them outside of therapy.... These emotions really only live in art, look at some old paintings, lots of vengeance, lust and spite, hatred, envy, contempt, disdain. Whether it's people on people, people on nature, man versus himself, liminal hell scapes. All projections of internal feelings.
Can't really tell people these things. This becomes more obvious as you age. It always will be at the level of a bottle ready Burst. I cannot let that cap off... It's bad for everyone. It gets blown off sometimes and my brain cannot perceive myself as the issue. As the bottle is always ready to Burst... It's literally my job to just not interact with certain people long term, and there's for me too. As long as you can accept you still have a place in society and on earth as a human being however different, don't fall into endless solipsism or hedonism, it's a lot easier to control everything. Those two things cause snowballing effects that can lead to year of misery till you "snap out of it" so to say 🥴
Why are adults «fair game»?
OK so what is your opinion of a woman with npd who I have ignored for a while because of her abuse, contacting me and triggering my b.p.d. (Same Cluster) and manipulating the childhood sexual abuse i suffered by lying about the father of her daughter saying he did that to her, all for her own selfish wants and yes she had me running to the rescue, now i hate her, is she a sicko in your eyes?
anyone who lies about sexual abuse/assault is a disgrace to humanity imo
@@dammitdelta thank you and I've been triggered for a while with the way she manipulated my childhood abuse
Not a sicko! Damaged and in chronic need for attention! Negative attention is attention too! Even better. They use it to look like a victim or to pretent to relate to a true victim to ride along that victimhood with her! But the actions they execute are evil and causes many people a lot of pain! So it should be punished of course, but the person herself is in the end indeed a victim too. Of something that happened deep in her past! That is why she can not be anything else then she is as an adult!
My cousin (since baby, but in this anekdote about 3 yo) was damaged by her father neclecting her and one day moved to another country, while my sister was waiting with my cousin, because her father supposed to pick her up for the weekend stay at his place!. Another daughter of him (much older already then my cousin) lived nearby the father and wanted to visit him that morning and he was just packing the last things into the car before leaving!
She have seen him twice since then (she is 12 now), just because she wanted to visite him in that other country! He never came here again!)
But since that he left she became angry all the time! She always was seeking fights and her mother (my sister) only became angry then, just as het granddad and grand ma (my parents). I always stayed kind to her and only asked question or made a sensible remark. I knew it didn't make her stop at that moment, but wanted to plant seeds in her head for the positive! Then a huge explosion came one Christmas (I believe she was 6 or 7 yo then (the length of a 12 yo. She is very tall)) evening at my parents house! Everybody was shouting and screaming at her and telling her how she ruined the whole Christmas and how evil she was! She went into a hall way and trowed around some stuff. I went after her, grabbed her around the waist and hold her tightly but soft at the same time! She was raging and screaming that I had to let her go and that I was raping her! Then my parents and my sister started to scream at me! That I only made things worse! They even tried to pull me off her! And while they were pulling, she was hitting me too! But I kept holding her and my parents and sister went to another room and sometimes came back to shout at me. They were crying too! But after the pulling thing, I went sitting down on the ground with her. She was very strong. All muscles, very sportive. I think we were sitting there about more then 2 hours! Then she was exhausted. She cried and begged me to let her go! And after that she tried a few times more to escape. I was exhausted too, but if I had let her go it would all be for nothing! I waited until finally she went quiet. Then I started to stroke her on her head and give her soft kisses on top of her head. hugged her. She started crying again and finally felt asleep! When everything was quiet, my parents and sister came and watched us. I "ssted" to them and then they let us be!
Somewhere that evening my sister came to pick her up (we were still sitting/ lying on the ground. She was sleeping. I helped her carrying her to a bed upstairs. SInce then, she is a completely different person!
Well, still stubborn, but never tantrums again, she needs to be convinced every time she has to do chores, but she is relaxed and can say nice thing to others, which she didn't before! Always name calling and making annoying sounds.
Why did that embracement worked?
Because, that was why she was so mad! The man in her live who had to love her, where she should have felt save with and should have had as a save place to be with whenever she felt bad, wasn't there! He even betrayed her at the moment she was waiting for him! Daddy had told her by leaving her that way that;
"You are not worthy to be loved by me!"
And that is what she was convinced of! Nobody wanted her really and she wasn't worth!
But she screamed to be loved! All the tantrums were her saying ;"Please somebody love me!" Even when I am desperate and angry! Please understand me!"
And that is what I tried (and succeeded) to do! I was there for here (and as a man. that is maybe important too)! And no matter what she did and how she tried to offend me or hurt me, I kept her embraced! I was showing her she was loved by me, no matter how she would hurt me! I would never let her go! And that was the message she was so desperately longing for to hear! That was what she wanted to feel! Be loved! Be worth! No matter what!
And although is was instinctive done by me. Never ever done such thing before. I knew that was the right thing to do! I felt her pain! (somehow I have that with people. Feel what they feel when close to me)
I actually just did what I felt I would want being her. And it turned out to be exactly that! But the risk was, if I, at any moment, had let her go any time before she fel asleep, everything was lost and maybe even worse!
Why? Because, the moment she fel asleep, that was the moment her brain realized she was save enough in my arms to fall asleep and knew nothing bad would happen! The few times before she rized up again and cried were because her brain was still fighting and anxious that she wasn't save, even when she already was exhausted physically!
I am convinced that many people are damaged like she was and what I did could help many people! The only difficult thing is, the person who needs to be the guard and the "savior" so to speak needs to be somebody the person in need has a bond with somehow, needs to be mentally strong, physically strong and prepared to undergo the proces too and have all the time in the world, because it is the one in need who decides when that "session"is finished! The best thing even is, that when the person in need has fallen asleep, that the guardian stays with her/him, lays next to them until they wake up again! This way their brain can be fully convinced they are save and will not be abandoned! Oh and, The guardian needs to say as little as possible!!!
Only show affection in expression and non-verbal behavior!
And when woken up, the needed person needs to be the one who starts speaking! When they do, that means their brain has completed the task and has had no interruptions before closure set in.
Then I promise you. That person truly has changed! The brain is reset and allows itself to love and trust again!
Even when I worked in prison and Big guys who were raging. I went up to them, just went sitting in their nearness and just be. And when they looked at me I looked back neutrally with a slight "it's OK' expression. And when they were done I could notice the longing in their eyes for that moment to happen! No matter my emotions, somebody knows me, trust me and isn't judging me for them! Those moment I used to walk them back to their cells because that is where they wanted to be in that moment! Knowing they wanted to cry and in a kind of way, reset their brain too! Knowing that there is still somebody caring for them! Because that is what lots of people miss in their lives! And rage is mostly a need for attention! or a outing of being treated unjust! Real emotional rage that is!
Rage born from intimidation or meant to manipulate is a whole different story and looks different from rage from emotion. Knowing this difference and what to do and 99,99% of the time you can stir and help people in a way they will be ever grateful! (when it is in their character normally!) And some times even when they normally never grateful as I experienced once, but that is next level which I do not fully understand as of yet.
@@MultiTipsieYou are a very good person. Bless you!
@@MultiTipsieThis is amazing, I'm so glad to hear this child was safed! 🙏 And that's exactly what we need to do with children like this, they are still developing so it's much easier to rewire for them again at that age.
I've been one of those who were abandoned and emotionally abused and developed rage but also hypervigliance and copedendency.
But I do want to say as someone who has healed themselves from it, as adults we've built up so many layers and layers of more and more pain that it takes many years to peel those back and recover again. Healing takes time and real commitment from adults.
Most people are vulnerable to get hurt by other adults so it's not always wise to attempt to do this, typically this is something that is better done within a therapy setting, constellation therapy for instance.
2.5 blinks in the whole video. Just try doing that and u realise how fct up that is. Some serious trauma 😢
Everybody with ASPD has NPD. ASPD contains the whole of NPD as a symptom
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." John 15:13
Thank you for sharing ❤
A genuine question, you dont blink, how is that connected with the conditions you have?
I don’t believe she’s blinked once during this video. 😳
Wednesday Addams vibe.
ruclips.net/video/SXJz8-6dNKg/видео.html
Pathological liar isn’t true either?
The whole video is a lie
I think it can have an early onset that some people with disorders get addicted to throwing off the honest world view of others. My past friend with ASPD & HPD certainly does.
jesus u harmed animals lol...i never even did that
Hi there, I see myself as a loving and caring person. For people who I deem good or at least try and have good intent towards others! I even will defend total strangers when those seem to me a good person and/or an underdog! However, bad people or people with bad intent I do intensively hate! When I notice bad intent or see somebody doing things I deem bad, I attack! Mostly in words! I've worked as a bouncer, army (war veteran) police officer, worked for the justice department and security like high risk, events and hooligans! This all for more then 30 years. I just had to fight (if you can call it that, maybe a handful of times).
In private I am more prone to escalate because it is personal then.
As I said, because of this all I use my mouth (very intensely and ordinary when I think that solves the problem or somebody is annoying with the intention to annoy).
When I fight, the lights go out! I go all in and somebody else has to stop me! Just before or when fighting I feel immensely excited and happy! For me, that feeling is ( I think) because I can get justice at that moment for all the moments I couldn't! For the psychiatrist it is because I enjoy it for what it is. Attacking somebody else. Being good for the other is only what I say but lie about, they say! Or at least, when reading their reports I find out they think that! I don't! I am always genuine! I always am honest about what I say and mean! And always, everybody interpret those things as lies or manipulation! That's maybe why I hate people so much! Lying people are always believed! When you are honest, they are convinced you lie! Even after a hundred times that they know you've told the truth, just one memory mistake and I am a pathological liar in their eyes!
This behavior made me hate other people so bad the last year or so, I just have no boundaries anymore in what I say and if I feel angry enough to want to attack somebody physically I also just say it very clearly! SO now I also am a-social in the eyes of everybody!
I am diagnosed with being a cluster B personality and found untreatable by psychiatrists!
The last thing I did is I worked in jail. And we had a psychiatric wing with the "worst of the country" living there. Some were fighting every day, most with personnel! I never had any problems with any of them! I laughed and chatted with them! When there was trouble and I arrived (or already was there when tensions brew) I could just walk to that "aggressive" inmate and talk and got them come along voluntary with me to their cel or the isolation rooms. I also guided a woman for a few months, who even the worst men were afraid of, together with a prof MMA-fighter (very kind and soft guy) . She never ever fought or became angry with me! I was the first one ever who was allowed into her cell and a few days before she left to another facility, she cooked for me! We ate together and she almost cried when we said goodbye! No one ever had seen her cry!
I think I did something good then! Strangely, I never felt angry towards them too! To my colleagues! To my colleagues I was almost angry at a daily base! What an arrogant annoying people! Not all! But enough to have had fights with them and finally I was fired because of it! They were the ones that started it! I ended it! So I was the bad one!
My question to you is;
Am I really what they say I am? A cluster B person?
(The psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, borderliners etcetera are in this group.)
I can't see it!
I think I am a good person who is very good towards good people (and animals) and very aggressive towards bad people! Since kids can be good and evil too I do not treat them differently! Only that I be very protective, next to very kind, to good kids, and always warn bad kids that I am mad at them, why I am, what they can do to stop it and that I will not spare them when they continu with their bad behavior! If they continu I will hit them or grab them and tell them I am not like their parents and I will hurt them if they decide to continu (again)! BUT...when I see they learned from it and starting to behave kind (and I monitor them closely every time I am around), I will reward that too! I will tell them that I like their good side and that I will continu liking them when they decide to stay kind! Never was a child a bully anymore after that! And the kind children are always happy to see me! I have two of my own. I only see my daughter now. She is twelve and the sweetest girl! I never had to be angry at her! And a son of 15, who lives with his mother and stepdad and is in puberty so no time to see me. I always treated them as adults when it came to raising them and let them decide things for themselves, tell them the advantages and disadvantages of their choices made (within boundaries) and I have the final word whether I think it is a good idea. I hardly ever had to intervene because they did something bad. because they never have bad intent (or doing something bad in the first place)! And when they make mistakes, I tell what and how to correct it! Never get angry at them! Not necessary either!
In my mind, it is most others (90%) that are a-social! And lots of people in prison are good people, but damaged and made angry by others! The real criminals are walking around in the free world! Lots of bosses and "leaders"who are judged as great people are evil! And I always tell them this when necessary! Not helping myself at all with that. It is my impulsivity.
Am I wrong?
You should work on your anger management and intrusive thoughts, than maybe on communication skills as well through therapy.
@@Hizsoo Thanks! You are completely right! The problem is that due to multiple traumata I have no control over my emotions! I hate it that I can't control myself! But been at every kind of therapy already and most couldn't do anything because it was too complicated. And the ones I have had, were lowering it a bit and /or it was significantly better after, but then, through time it came back again.
Communications is autism related. From my perspective, I can only say what I feel. The probleme is that almost everybody says something else as then what they mean. And then the recieving siede has some decoder in their brain and takes it as it is meant to be. For me I just have to gamble. The other way around too. I say somethingand the receiver makes the weirdest interpretations of what I said. In my view not even close to what I literally have said. It is too bizar for me and people refuse to explain, because they are convinced I just pretend I don't know and immediately a fight is born. That is why I isolate myself from others. Not that I want to be alone, but it is still better then all those conflicts that even the simplest thing I say can provoke! It truly is too weird for me and this way it is the savest for eveybody I suppose!
But again, Normally you are totally right but apparently my universe works very mysterious. It is what it is! I do appreciate your input though! Thank you!
@@MultiTipsie If you can't relate to someone, than you could learn about them or ask for help. Those are the expedient things to do. I think you have the most problem with dismissive people.
That's the issue. You aren't the arbiter of who's good or bad.
You are the sum of your interactions with others. You're self isn't the view you have of yourself outside of a social context.
Different context? Different you bro, even more true for cluster B peeps
@@AnimosityIncarnate Partly you sound logic from a overviewing perspective. The other part I can not understand fully of what you say. maybe it is my lack of the language or maybe you use kinda slang sentences which are unknown to me and thus I was not able to interpret them.
However, I can only view myself from within and know exactly where my thoughts come from and my feelings coming from those thoughts. Ergo, whatever the opinion of the other individual or group, I know what my own intentions, feelings and thoughts are! When not comprehended by others and when, due to their feedback, it is established they are wrong about my feelings, thoughts and intentions, it is clear they do not see me for who I am. And my actions not for what they entail and thus are worth!
Ergo, I am not what other people want me to be! I am that I am and not what I am not, just because others say I am not!
Their perspective is irrelevant for who I truly am! It is only relevant for how they treat me and according to that I react, which gives them dynamically a new perspective, whether that be the same, more positive, more negative, or different without a change in value!
So What I understand from what you say is; I am what others want me to be or how other perceive me! Well, that is not in line with logic or truth! It only is in line with perceived truth which mostly differ from real truth or real reality!
And following the DSM V about cluster B types I can wholeheartedly say, and with great certainty, I am not even closely related to that category!
In practice, many people judge like you! "You are what I want you to be and expect you to behave in that way, otherwise I am entitled to attack you and or treat you that way until you fit my believes about you!"
Well , if that is the case, then you can be right of me being an a-social type towards that person. The other way around the other person is a-social from my point of view by pushing their believes on my person! That is sadly the reality of to date and is what starts and keeps fueling many wars! The way people these days are are like this;
"If you are not like me or as I want to see you, you are my enemy and I am totally entitles to destroy you! At the same time I am peace loving and non-aggressive and preaching equity and inclusion!"
So, From what I understood from your reaction is that you belong to those groups. If I am wrong, please correct me and please with clear sentences, because this is not my native language and the only time I use it is here on YT.
It is just that those groups are absolutely wrong and a-social, even when practiced as a "social"group! The true way to behave socially is opposite of what they practize!
So let me be the a-social to the a-socials! That way I know I am on the right path and everybody who tries to stir me away will have to meet the consequences!
Don't mind me and I don't mind you!
Not a single soul assumes that you people love other people more than animals 😂😂 the first one is false, i have never seen a psychopath or sociopath who loves humans 😂😅
My point was more that people assume we all hate animals. Some of us do, but some of us really enjoy animals. I’m pretty sure all of us hate humans more though 😂
Some projection is stinking up this comment 😏
Ready. Set. Run.
Everyone has had a traumatic childhood. But not everyone continues to blame their behaviors on the past. Staying in the victim mindset.
Everything is a lesson or a blessing. Find the lessons an appreciate the blessing, to grow.
Splitting, black or white, love or hate. Jeckle or hyde.
My mother would get pets in the spring and have them put down in the fall. She was not an animal lover and we grew up on a farm. But after the children grew up and moved away and our father died she got pets and like serial killers took lots of pictures before she murdered them.
People don’t choose how they respond to trauma. I didn’t choose to develop personality disorders. It’s a process to learn, understand the diagnoses, and grow. Belittling and minimizing someone else’s experience and shaming how they responded to trauma isn’t going to help people like me “change.”
@@dammitdelta you will only change when it stops getting you what you want.
Personality disorders are only disorders for adults that still use the behaviors. It's very common in children.
It's a failure to mature.
For most people life has a way of punching you in the face if you use those childish behaviors.
You did choose your behaviors. Personality traits are 100% chosen by every person. Whatever the 5 traits that qualify you to get diagnosed with npd, pick 1 and stop doing it. Whatever the opposite is do that. Then pick another. It's that easy
@@dammitdelta yeah yeah the perpetual victim.
@@arthurlangille4604 huh? You aren't doing anything to shame us bro.
Calling the behaviour childish is causing people not to change btw, I'm a realist, children usually aren't manipulative and sadistic. They just aren't lmao
@@AnimosityIncarnate that's delusional. You aren't a realist. Thats the definition of a personality disorder.
Its on a spectrum and you must not be Malignant.
I classify as “malignant” for my NPD subtype, but I’ve done significant work on it. I have my moments still and have a long way to go, but I’ve learned to better manage my sadism and antagonistic behavior.
@@dammitdelta most narcissist I know have no desire to change because they are extremely grandiose and can't take responsibility for ever doing anything wrong. They just blame everyone else.
@@whygohome172 that’s usually the case. I just ruined my life to such an extent I got diagnosed.
@@dammitdelta I'm sorry.
Are you just listing "no true Scotsman" fallacies that help people maintain their dehumanizing ideas about personality disorders? because those are the first two things people say to me when I disclose my BPD and ask for empathy to be extended to others like me
A scene girl who identifies with NPD & ASPD. Damn. ASPD must be the primary of those.
Noone assumes that psychos or socios love humans more than animals the first one is false 😂 that's all i can write in this phenomenal site 😂
Demon
Pray to true God repent.. Or remain a basket case
No, I live in reality. I don’t pray to a magically sky daddy.
(Believe what you want, but don’t shove your religion down other peoples throat)
@@dammitdeltayou are in lala land! I'm sure you are aware enough to understand these so called mental disorders are dark and demonic. Narcissism alone if you look at the hallmarks 👉 entitlement, pride, haughty, cheating, back stabber, coward, manipulation, user, malicious, sadistic, takers, imposter, exploiter no empathy can't put self in another's shoes, false self..ect a whole cohort of demons. So whether you believe God or not you are aware of the demonic possession! So the way I see it 👉 the demons in you want you to have nothing to do with God because that's how they feel and they project it on you! If you get healed then they no longer have a host!
@@davidrothchilds2066 Not backing her up but I think you may need to go and see a doctor yourself, you don't sound to mentally well yourself.
@@SleazyRider86 what kind of doctor do you recommend? The word Psych comes from the Greek means Soul*, iatrist/iatros means doctor. Soul* is more than just mental! Famous so called psychiatrists like Dr phill say Narcs are incurable very low chance of improving.. When it comes to these types of demons the medical world can't help.
nobody cares
you cared enough to comment
Your sick
Lol, they cannot love, they can't care. It's a spectrum. This person must be on the lower end
I’m actually rather low functioning but have done a lot of work on myself. You don’t have to feel the emotion to love someone. What I call love might not be love to you, but it’s the closest thing I experience to it.
@@dammitdeltaLove functions like a drug. Some symptoms are that you are attached to the other person and feel a greater need to look for similarities with them. Technically people constantly have emotion, even in apathy.
Definite possession here. You need deliverance n salvation in christ
definite 80 year old here...
Interesting, I like female sociopaths, the male ones are too aggressive and often annoying in my experience. I am Borderline bipolar so I have some anti-social, but mostly Asperger's.
Shesa cutie !!
Well! Your eyes certainly fit the sociopathic criteria.
Try to blink once in awhile.
Thank u for sharing. Please take care of yourself and don't hurt or play head games ......if you fo that and ur behavior goes out of control...u young lady could end up in prision
And u won't last long
O dang..I don’t say it often but I find u a 10/10 😮beautiful. Didn’t even watch the vid since I’m a jerk..just clicked cuz ur face captivated me
Seriously? Way to completely invalidate something honest and powerful. Can you please just not use some one talking about personal trauma as a chance to hit on someone. She even said she already has a partner she would die for if you had listened. Not the appropriate place. At least you admitted to being a jerk 😅 but why take the effort to type it then? I'm genuinely curious what kind of response you were expecting, for science. 😂
Lmfao you are a master simp and this site can't allow me to speak freely unfortunately as always 😂😂😂