I’m a Narcissistic Sociopath: How I Know I Truly Love My Partner

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  • Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024

Комментарии • 93

  • @ClandestineGirl16X
    @ClandestineGirl16X 3 месяца назад +21

    That's really sweet, the first point about having the longing for her while away from each other. That's just really sweet.

  • @dollie9018
    @dollie9018 3 месяца назад +27

    I'm glad to see more females come out and spread information about personality disorders, since it's pretty stereotypical that sociopaths/psychopaths/narcissists are male and it's not being taken that seriously if a woman says she has aspd, it always has to be either bpd or adhd or whatever. I'm thinking about coming forward about it myself by making videos but haven't yet decided. I feel like in a small city I'd be constantly "watched" after telling about the truth behind personality disorders and especially me having them.

  • @melissaperkins8910
    @melissaperkins8910 25 дней назад +1

    Chosing the partner you need vs the partner you want is so important. This is the best way to move in a relationship. If your person isn't telling you how to better yourself, you're with the wrong person. It sounds like you respect her and are doing what you can to keep your relationship in a positive space.

  • @AngieRose711
    @AngieRose711 3 месяца назад +7

    I’m so proud of you Delta! This is amazing progress, I’m so happy you found someone who makes you feel safe 💛

  • @blousug
    @blousug 3 месяца назад +6

    Well said! I’m a bipolar gay lady and just because we have these mental health issues doesn’t mean we are undeserving of love. As long as we keep fighting to make better versions of ourselves ❤❤

  • @aliceg1212
    @aliceg1212 3 месяца назад +10

    That is love! All the things you said means you love her. That's it. Trust, longing, honesty, having her best interest in mind over money, status and your wellbeing. That's it. And in return you get reciprocity. She feels and does the same for you. Giving in to fuzzy feeling that you learned to interpret as fear, and interpreting for what it really is: love.

    • @aliceg1212
      @aliceg1212 3 месяца назад +3

      Disclaimer: you mentioned "I can not think of living my life without her" is a little insecure... this is a problematic, you have to reassure yourself that alone you're ok, otherwise if anything happens that shakes the bases may trigger you into desperation and your behaviour may actually push her away from you or spiral you down if (God forbids) something happens. Also, the responsibility you put on her (unknowingly) by saying that can be overbearing... just knowing you're ok if she's gone but that you do want her around is much lighter and secure.
      But you're doing such a good job that you'll slowly find other people you can also trust.
      You already trust banks with your money, doctors with your health, etc... so you can find other people to trust your heart with, other people you know have your best interest in mind by observing if they take accountability for their actions, if they are there to have a chat, if they enjoy your company, if you are honest and they know your condition but are still kind to you, etc.

  • @benpearson49
    @benpearson49 3 месяца назад +8

    Surely, love is a choice.
    The choice of devotion, to put someone else's welfare above all others.

  • @bodinian
    @bodinian 3 месяца назад +4

    It's refreshing to see someone with a cluster b personality disorder make an effort to be better. My ex girlfriend seems to be a narcissist and my father too. They are a lot to deal with and they don't seem to care and have no desire to be better. Maybe you can be one of the only ones that's able to have a healthy relationship due to your work on yourself.

    • @liferadous
      @liferadous 2 месяца назад +2

      "Maybe you can be one of the only ones that's able" - - or, maybe the two people with PDs you love who have caused you suffering are not a representative sample, and there are lots of people with cluster B personality disorders out there who have made this effort you're not aware of, and are capable of having healthy relationships. People with BPD who get the right therapy for six months have an 80% remission rate two years later, which is huge.
      I really liked Mark Ettensohn's book on understanding narcissism; if you are trying to have a positive relationship with your family members it might remove some frustrations for you and help you deal and have healthy boundaries, without it being about people enabling each other to hate "cluster Bs", which is a really unfortunate thing a lot of abuse survivors have been drawn into as a way of coping with their very real trauma.

  • @waituntil
    @waituntil 3 месяца назад +3

    A WELL structured and detailed video
    I liked all the answers and I relate to a large extent

  • @bikergirl420.
    @bikergirl420. 3 месяца назад +9

    This must be frustrating not being able to feel that love bond, but that smile you gave talking about how much you care said it all 🔥 What type of therapy do you feel has worked the best for you?

  • @noworneverzzz9888
    @noworneverzzz9888 10 часов назад

    This is beautiful in a sick kinda way. 💞 I understand you.

  • @Freedom_and_Acceptance
    @Freedom_and_Acceptance 2 месяца назад +2

    Sounds like really healthy for someone with such an unhealthy start in life. Many people without a disorder can not see through themselves like this.

  • @kimberleyreid4519
    @kimberleyreid4519 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for being honest…
    I think you will continue to evolve in growth of your NPD…..
    You might be able to help others as the self aware people of any disorder live and breathe the complexities of it.

  • @sarahsmaali6189
    @sarahsmaali6189 3 месяца назад +2

    Awesome, I wish my ex would have the same attitude as you, and it can't be easy working on your issues.
    It sounds like a healthy relationship as your self awareness is great.
    Sounds like love to me and healthier than a lot of couples 💖

  • @Mscat410
    @Mscat410 3 месяца назад +2

    And also don’t let societies labels define who you are. We are always growing and changing.

  • @AremAsha
    @AremAsha 3 месяца назад +12

    “She is an amazing thing..” ok.

    • @ZvendZved
      @ZvendZved 3 месяца назад +1

      What are your problem? She has a diagnose, she is open about it, she actually does put a lot of work into being a better person - that really deserves some respect and praise. If anyone you are the dickhead being obviously being insecure, toxic and devaluating others for their progress. Please fuck off.

  • @axewieldingmilena
    @axewieldingmilena Месяц назад +2

    Hey, I'm also a psychopathic lesbian. Nice to meet you ^^ I've been in a polyamorous relationship for 5 years now and our relationship is full of love and happiness basically 24/7. It's such a myth that we couldn't love. Maybe it's a different form of love - but hey, it's still love and it still makes us both happy ^^ And yes, I tried tons of manipulation and emotional tantrums for about a year into our relationship, but none of that worked and she saw through it all and broke down all of this for me so I could no longer use that as weapons and she made sure shit like that wouldn't work on her. She's super intelligent and a much better person than me, so she won't tolerate and enable me to behave like a psychopath with her, so all I can do is to be "normal" with her or she won't stay with me for long :D haha.. And now we've had 4 years of a normal, stable and happy relationship. But I needed a woman like that who doesn't take and bullshit and sees through it all so none of that works. So she's just the best. I love her so much and we'll be together forever most likely☺My love for her is endless and I love her immensely.

  • @BanFamilyVlogging
    @BanFamilyVlogging 3 месяца назад +2

    Congratulations 💜 I know that must have taken a lot of dedication & hard work. You earned this

  • @Anna_Fortunka
    @Anna_Fortunka 3 месяца назад +1

    All the best to you and your girl. thanks for sharing this
    as I'm sure you know, plenty neurotypical people out there who don't have what you two have.

  • @certifiedhoarder
    @certifiedhoarder 3 месяца назад +2

    Im glad for your progress and appreciate your sharing. Goodluck on yalls relationship. Dont worry about the dick head comments. Youre trying to value another human. Thats what counts. ❤

  • @marilym7758
    @marilym7758 3 месяца назад +3

    Off topic but your hair looks so good that way !

  • @AlastorTheNPDemon
    @AlastorTheNPDemon 3 месяца назад +1

    Okay, I'm actually crying right now. 😢

  • @MusiCatsKing
    @MusiCatsKing 3 месяца назад +1

    It's deeply caring about her. Love includes that, but also goes beyond that. It could be as close to love as you may be able to experience. Who knows, as you continue to grow you may feel love someday. You've already surpassed my low expectations by miles, so i wouldn't rule anything out.

  • @VividYouth
    @VividYouth 3 месяца назад +5

    Damn u look great!

  • @katogojira7223
    @katogojira7223 3 дня назад

    Wow so they can change WTF.
    Im literally crying my ass off right now.
    😢😢😢😢😢😢
    Im struggling with my x narcissist.
    She really messed me up.
    But i lover her .
    Ever since i was 7; years old.
    Now im 40 .
    She's also the same age as me .
    For years ive been holding this burden of wanting to tell her how i felt all these years
    9 months ago we hooked up and 4 months ago she manipulated etc me nim so fkd up inside.
    But hearing this makes me very happy ❤

  • @Flx-zh8ze
    @Flx-zh8ze 3 месяца назад +4

    Cool. Now the next step for you is to realize that all humans are a reflection of each other, and if you have this love for your girlfriend that needs to extend to other human beings. Because when you put shit out into the world, it does come back around. So if you want to see good for your girlfriends, you need to put good out into the world and that includes towards other people. Not just the people you care about personally, but other people

    • @TheEnigmaticmuse
      @TheEnigmaticmuse 3 месяца назад

      Agree but her gf could be an absolutely amazing person who puts out enough good into the world for her to benefit from. I know 100% this does happen but if she learns to extend it to all humans, they would definitely get that much more back, I also know this is a thing 100%. A lot of narcs use empaths in their lives to block their karma, but they can learn that karma is an energy and how they can work with it instead of trying to manipulate it like they do the people in their lives. Since much of what they do is logical and calculated and lacking emotion, they can learn to navigate the world with logic sans the manipulation.

    • @benahs05
      @benahs05 2 месяца назад

      did you listen to the whole video? she said she’s working on her issues caused by her personality disorders. and it’s not as easy to do that as just willing yourself to do it. these people are damaged, you can’t will a broken mug into being fixed; it takes time and effort.

  • @malgorzatadymecka2959
    @malgorzatadymecka2959 3 месяца назад +1

    Huge respect for putting in the work to make the relationship healthier.

  • @potathoedudek3211
    @potathoedudek3211 3 месяца назад +4

    Not describing your situation, but i have a theory that psychopaths can feel an allure to people that are of a similar caliber as them: borderlines and narcissists, as they are on a similar frequency as them, they can feel attraction or even love for them. Another reason why i at least theorize this is the case is because 1. borderlines are easier to manipulate through emotions and wont sense something is off as they instantly welcome the attention they are getting from sociopaths 2. narcissists are also easy to manipulate through flatter, confidence.
    Another type of person that they can easily manipulate is overly optimistic and gullible people, but people that are highly intuitive and perceptive can spot something is off about them as they can read between the lines.
    Another class of people that psychopaths wont ever be able to fool are actually intelligent people with high functioning autism, as they rarely rely on emotions, cant be won over with flattery, compliments, and etc. , are not emotionally influencable, can spot inconsistencies much more easily, can have a better memory piecing together the web of lies, and generally are emotionally almost unreachable.

    • @liferadous
      @liferadous 2 месяца назад

      Autistic people are drastically more vulnerable to abuse of all kinds as well as being scammed, and it's not about intelligence, it's about uncertainty. It is gross that you have divided people into "calibers" - - super eugenics-y of you

  • @Muck-qy2oo
    @Muck-qy2oo 3 месяца назад +4

    Do you believe that sociopaths are more often bisexual than neurotypicals? Or are they just more open about it?

    • @PrincessMultiracial
      @PrincessMultiracial 3 месяца назад +3

      I think very often, dare I say almost all, ASPD, NPD, and BPD are pansexual, and females often having more preference for women than men. All of the ASPD women I’ve looked up that have married men have done so for hypergamy

    • @TheEnigmaticmuse
      @TheEnigmaticmuse 3 месяца назад +1

      ​@@PrincessMultiracialthat makes sense, I bet that's what she was thinking when she said marry for money and that's probably what happens a lot considering the number of men who have their lives and finances destroyed by a female narc.

  • @AremAsha
    @AremAsha 3 месяца назад +19

    That psychopathic stare.

  • @oujiascrabble
    @oujiascrabble 2 месяца назад +1

    What type of therapy have you undergone?

  • @TheEnigmaticmuse
    @TheEnigmaticmuse 3 месяца назад +1

    I love this!

  • @pickpink.
    @pickpink. Месяц назад

    I thought everyone was like that...

  • @Dorythefish13
    @Dorythefish13 3 месяца назад +2

    I think you've come a long way to be able to say what you've said, and to change your behaviours as you have. I have hope for you, I truly hope you can feel love & loved fully eventually. All the best to you and your partner. Just keep swimming 🩷🐟

  • @Cathinata1
    @Cathinata1 3 месяца назад +1

    what you described IS true love!

    • @Rise-and-Shine333
      @Rise-and-Shine333 3 месяца назад +3

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @irrittt
      @irrittt 3 месяца назад +1

      Don’t be naive.

    • @TheEnigmaticmuse
      @TheEnigmaticmuse 3 месяца назад +2

      People don't think NPD can love but they can. But she's right, it's often toxic and unhealthy until they do a lot of work.

    • @Rise-and-Shine333
      @Rise-and-Shine333 3 месяца назад +2

      @@TheEnigmaticmuse I’d never waist my time. How can anyone ever trust a narcissistic person or a narcissist who says they love you.

    • @porcelain_kiss
      @porcelain_kiss 3 месяца назад

      ​@@Rise-and-Shine333you need to do your fucking research

  • @Andypandieful
    @Andypandieful 3 месяца назад

    Good for you.

  • @irrittt
    @irrittt 3 месяца назад +7

    I’m sorry to say this but I feel sorry for your partner. I think she’s been programmed in childhood through likely trauma - to find her sense of value through servitude, or being used. It must be extremely hard & painful to date a narcissistic sociopath, I hope she’s happy and if not, that she seeks happiness.

  • @Louis-20
    @Louis-20 3 месяца назад

    Its very hard to turn off how I interact with people, It's automatic. I see no reason to I suppose.

  • @integrity4life194
    @integrity4life194 2 месяца назад

    hey Delta !, you're doing a good job describing around the concept of what love is and looks like ! - and it's obvious that this is probably the closest or only way of how you consider yourself to "be in love" - but as this is probably solely achieved by "cognitive empathy processing" and rational thinking and analyzing social behaviors my question is: "how would love be possible without emotional empathy" from your point of view ? - and if your partner doesn't by into your manipulation tactics and does not like or supports allot of your narcissistic traits - it must be a constant challenge and battle ? - how would you be able to differentiate and distinguish her not just being a codependent, a flying monkey, an extension of yourself - from you truly loving her as a sperate being which is saying no, setting boundaries, criticizes certain of your actions and behaviors ? - it must be tormenting and causing fear and insecurity as usually a narcissists ego and illusion of a perfect self must not be challenged or questioned - nor would it be possible to accept that somone is equally good or better !?....I'd be interested......

  • @rebekahraymond4412
    @rebekahraymond4412 3 месяца назад

    Interesting you say you like to see people in pain.
    Other than that, it seems as if you've grown emotionally. But I don't understand the pain part

  • @rapstar4575
    @rapstar4575 3 месяца назад

    Least your honest

  • @crazypbl8801
    @crazypbl8801 3 месяца назад

    Is this keffals?

  • @justinbarney5137
    @justinbarney5137 3 месяца назад

    Maybe your healing (changing) into a healthy person

  • @skysteelex
    @skysteelex 2 месяца назад

    God has a plan for your life. The Bible says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ If you want to experience true bliss, peace, happiness, turn to God. He has brought miracles into my life. He has taught me so much about love. He is your Father, and He loves you so deeply. ‘Seek Me, and when you seek Me with all your heart, you shall find Me.’ Praying in the name of Jesus for your salvation and for you to experience God’s eternal love. Amen. ❤

    • @dammitdelta
      @dammitdelta  2 месяца назад +1

      Why is RUclips so preachy? I am atheist and have no interest.

  • @heatherbowman9450
    @heatherbowman9450 3 месяца назад

    133 likes❤💙💜🖤

  • @delocon
    @delocon 3 месяца назад +2

    Remember, these two disorders by definition make everything she says unreliable.

    • @lithia4483
      @lithia4483 3 месяца назад

      Yeah, I find her content fascinating but I take it with a grain of salt.

    • @benahs05
      @benahs05 2 месяца назад

      yeah, it’s possible she’s lying. just like it’s possible any youtube video on the internet if full of lies/misleading intent. let’s not discourage people from learning about personality disorders, as well as growing and changing when they have personality disorders because of that which is not their fault

    • @delocon
      @delocon 2 месяца назад

      @@benahs05 Caution is not discouragement. A person like this, whos two disorders make it essentially impossible for an outside observer to to determine how honest she's being needs to be treated with a very high level of skepticism. IF, (and thats a big if) she's being honest here good for her, but look at all the praise she's receiving in the comments. That kind of praise plays right into narcissistic supply. Are her disorders her fault? No. Are they my responsibility? Also no.
      Be very wary of what she has to say.

    • @benahs05
      @benahs05 2 месяца назад +1

      @@delocon i understand that it’s possible she’s doing this to gain narcissistic supply, or any other selfish reason, but either way, she gives valuable insight on how her disorders work, what it’s like to live with them, and how to heal from the abuse that caused them. making a comment about how she’s likely acting only to benefit herself is overly negative and drives attention away from the important information she in trying to get across to the wider, largely uneducated public (which if more people had a decent understanding of what she is trying to provide education on, there would be more people in therapy learning how to control their disorders as well). she deserves a chance just as much as anyone else, in spite of having disorders that make her more prone to harming people.

  • @perrissmith8809
    @perrissmith8809 3 месяца назад +10

    Blah blah blah! Manipulation

    • @benahs05
      @benahs05 2 месяца назад +1

      people don’t choose to have personality disorders. they choose how to act. and this person, in spite of her nature and the way she was conditioned, is choosing to learn how to act in a way that respects, values, and loves others. could she be lying? sure. just like every other person on a youtube video. but refusing to give her a chance because of something outside of her control is the textbook definition of prejudice.

  • @sponkmcdonk3898
    @sponkmcdonk3898 3 месяца назад +2

    Omg look at her eyes. That’s all you need to know

  • @Rise-and-Shine333
    @Rise-and-Shine333 3 месяца назад +1

    Who gives af! Why do I feel sick all of a sudden!

    • @porcelain_kiss
      @porcelain_kiss 3 месяца назад +4

      Because you refuse to believe that narcissists can be self aware and can get better.

    • @Rise-and-Shine333
      @Rise-and-Shine333 3 месяца назад

      @@porcelain_kiss oh yes that will be why 🙄 Why would I want to refuse to believe that?
      What a silly thing to say.
      Do you think I enjoy living in a world where narcissists exist. ? No I do not. I spent 19 years of my life believing they can get better. Where did that get me.
      Years and years of abuse that’s where.
      If you hang around hoping they will change you will be waisting your life. It’s completely delusional and quite honestly very dangerous.
      It’s extremely rare that a narcissist is self aware so why would you say stupid things that encourage anyone to take that risk?

    • @Rise-and-Shine333
      @Rise-and-Shine333 3 месяца назад +2

      Why would I want to believe that? I think that is a silly thing to say .
      Have you tried living with one for over 20 years and hoped they would change? Where did my belief he could change get me?!
      Do you know how rare it is for a narcissistic to be self aware? Do you know how much rarer it is for them to even want to change or can even if they are aware. ? Its just not enough to take the risk and waist your life

    • @porcelain_kiss
      @porcelain_kiss 3 месяца назад +1

      @@Rise-and-Shine333 i live with a narcissist and I'm a high empath for narcissists and other mentally ill people. If you would do some basic research, narcissistic behaviors are a mask to cover up that they actually feel like shit. I got a family member to open up to me and he admitted he feels like he wants to die when I'm not around, JUST LIKE SOMEONE WITH BPD. just do some basic research and you'll figure out that narcissists are just big adult traumatized children

    • @porcelain_kiss
      @porcelain_kiss 3 месяца назад +1

      Narcissist do feel superior but they also often feel really depressed and shitty

  • @stephenrandell7152
    @stephenrandell7152 3 месяца назад

    Serious vocal fry !

  • @fakiv2682
    @fakiv2682 3 месяца назад +2

    She makes ME want to, she makes ME feel like, when she... I... yeaaah There is no actual way to know if this person is really being genuine and expressing herself honestly or she just likes to be praised how she's doing so well with her disorder and she just likes the attention and just simply feeds on these people. There is really no way to tell, but if we look at the diagnose, eeeeh well... We'll never know

    • @TheEnigmaticmuse
      @TheEnigmaticmuse 3 месяца назад +6

      Lmao she can't win for losing! She said people tell her it's impossible for her to love her partner and when she explains why and how she does, she gets this. You mentioned ME this ME that, well, guess what? The most frequent and common word in love songs is I. Good thing she doesn't give a shit what you think lol that's one thing NPD and ASD get right without doing any internal work at all.

    • @liferadous
      @liferadous 2 месяца назад

      There's no way to tell what anyone's true intentions are, hate to break it to you. If she was trying to fool you, why the fuck would she start by telling you this thing she knows damn well people will use to suggest she's being manipulative? People with diagnoses are generally people who have sought out help and it's gross that you use that to discredit them.

    • @liferadous
      @liferadous 2 месяца назад +3

      It's also weird that you're shaming her for using the word me. I think if you asked anyone how they know they love their partner, a lot of description about how they make ME feel is involved.
      This is just prejudice. You're not better than other bigots because you use a misunderstanding of medical science to justify your prejudice. Other bigots feel just as certain that the people THEY see as inferior or Other are the exception as you do.

  • @VintageVice-li4pq
    @VintageVice-li4pq 3 месяца назад +3

    What a joke