Christina Pazsitzky - Middle School Girl Fight - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- Опубликовано: 21 мар 2016
- It was hard for Christina Pazsitzky to be a goth girl in the San Fernando Valley in the early 90s after her middle school was integrated.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
Follow Christina Pazsitzky on Twitter: / christinap
Theme by Run the Jewels. Purchase the LP here: apple.co/1ARsXOf 
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Ready to rumble? Check out the craziest fight stories from This Is Not Happening here: ruclips.net/p/PLD7nPL1U-R5oyyo90i2VkGb7ImrDKdYBg
A lot of "F" bombs HERE...but this uncensored...so thanks you...i wish marianne sierk would be in comedy Central.
I know straight Karen
It takes exactly 8 clicks on the right arrow key to skip the intro.
Every hero don't wear a cape
It takes exactly one click on a different video to skip the rest of it...
You could just put the time for all of us to get there
David Cruz It's easier to click the right arrow 8 times than it is to use your mouse to find the exact time, you ungrateful piece of shit.
Rob hahahahahHa
It's like for every 10minute story they shot a 2hour production worth of intro
2 hours isn't nearly enough
@@BeyondSideshow how much would you guess? and is it for every set, or just for every episode/season.. ?
2 hours is defently not enough. alone post production is much longer. i would say for the whole thing at least a week.
depends if they cast people or have everyone on staff
They repeat the intros and they film them in one go
And your a 1 minute man
Those aliens in the intro are just mad Ari dosed them with molly during their podcast
Jake Medeiros lolol i knew they looked a little too happy.
Haha yes
Gottim.
Jake Medeiros 🤣
hahah, thats the fastest i've laughed in a while...nice
That girl in the front row is nottttt feeling it lmao
Lol yo fr this damn chick and her non laughing ass kept distracting me from the story
She might be a chola named chula brah
squin 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m not feeling it either. 😕
i'm not feelin it either.
I can confirm goth girls and cholas still unite in school because of makeup.
Haley Doran I will confirm this too. In middle school the cholas straight up adopted me into their group and we scrunched our hair with gel and I taught them how to wing eyeliner
Fuck, i really missed out going to middle class christian schools...
@@jenovastrife I went to a baptist boarding school and it still applied there lol.
Yup! Dated both. Married one. The goth didnt try to stay me.
@@tryten9 your last comment could either be "stay with me" or "stab me" and just based on context, and not to stereotype, dont any one go crazy, but I think he meant stab.
"Talk to the hand, its your breath I can't stand, i mean not to be mean but you need listerine ,Not a sip not a swallow but the whole damn bottle" 😂
Swaddle?
*swallow
try 'swallow'😏
Brings back so many memories of the playground disputes lmao
uhm swallow not- swaddle
As a Mexican kid who went to LAUSD schools I can verify 99% of everything she said. Black girls were hardcore and their fights were epic. I got stories 😆
I need all the stories lmaoo
We learned from the best.
Sounds like a lovely place to grow up.
@@lifewkyup. Racist white folks
This shit had more tension than LA in the early 90s
she was unintentionally making it tense and awkward
squin if you think that was unintentional, you don’t know shit about writing comedy.
@bullsi20 she was pausing to breathe because when youre like 8 months pregnant it be like that.
And was just as funny to watch from afar
Now THAT is funny!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Cuz this racist bitch is not!
I was ready to send my black professional boxing daughter's to find and yell eat my pom pom and ugh uh ugh uh you don't know me to phuck her up again lol. I mean the baby's been born by now sooo.
"Rosina Johnson would come at me with like, haikus, fables, stories, rhymes" LOL
Must be all that practice at the farms.
Those "OH NOs" were a genuine feat of athleticism.
Those weren't "OH NOs". They were "AH NAHs"
@@kelybal they were uh nuhs
14 minutes of my life. Gone forever
Rosina Johnson is somewhere watching this and laughing I bet LOL
Haha, that bitch is (most likely) in jail.
CitizenPerkins 😂😂😂
@@CitizenPerkins she is in army. US Marine.
@From a Bicycle seat As opposed to a stand-up comedian brah?
Hell yeah. Especially when she says let her come find me. Lmfao
I LOVE this show. It's so intimate. No bullshit or crowd reactions - just comedic stories
like a comedy club...
+Adam Murphy ~ yeah someone should do that! set up an open space with some chairs and a stage, charge entry to pay for any overheads, hire some funny people . . . i bet it would be popular . . .
jedi fu yea dude, maybe they an also serve drinks, and comedians can get a free drink or two
+Adam Murphy ~ comedians AND alcohol? you genius!! . . .
The only thing I've seen was one of Rogans performances had a guy obnoxiously laughing when he wasn't saying a punch line or anything
The fact she was called beetlejuice was funnier than the story
Yeah, that's what was really funny. I don't know what that is though.
Mech-Dragon its past your bedtime kid
@@mech-dragon1445 beetlejuice is a movie. There's a goth girl in it. She was goth, 'member.
@@jp-vo2rx I member...
Open sores are funnier than this story.
This woman sure won me over. wow
She !knows! how to create and release tension.
What an artist.
And what a great story!
I wish she would release my tension 😏
Hey, if you liked her you should check out her other stuff on RUclips. She is fire for a comedian. And shes married to Tom Segura who is a legend comedian!
Wholesome comments like these really upset me. They really hold up that mirror. Unless you’re making a tension pun. Is it wordplay mommy
She married an Asian
@@chickengenius4202 She did except for... No she didn't
Rosina Johnson would come at her with "haikus, fables, stories, rhymes" 😂😂😂
Dude in the audience had me dieing
That was a golden moment.
My jeans are so fucking high right now
but are they tight?
being goth in the San Fernando Valley the same years as her, I can attest that this is pretty darn true.
"Somebody's about to get fucked up!"
"Is tHaT SoMeOne Me?? 😧"
Lmao! Had to watch this again, a year later, because that part randomly popped into my head today
I was on a roll watching a bunch of these in a row...until I got to this one. Time to go outside.
Her laugh is atrocious
she's kinda cute... shrug...
I agree my dude she sucks at being funny
The only reason anyone knows her name is because of the Water Champ Big Tom.
Yeh, most of them are not funny at all. I guess that's why I have never heard of most of them.
Just really long, drawn out counseling sessions, and every time you think "Ah, here comes the funny part"..., but it never comes.
I saw one of these with Louie Anderson, and it was just a depressing story about his alcoholic father.
But it's funny watching the audience..., they all have confused looks on their face, and laugh at every other word.
To be completely honest, there really are not that many truly comedic women.
Especially in this show..., they seem to have issues finding anything to try to be funny about aside from just being nasty, using the word pussy and dick as much as possible, and drug problems.
The don't seem to be able to present much outside/beyond those topics.
All the guys are stuck on drugs being funny too..., and their drug stories are really pathetic.
I'm not sure if these people honestly think they are really funny?
Some of the guys, remind me of "that asshole from work" (we all have them at some point) who is constantly telling stories..., and they're not even funny, but everyone laughs anyway, and everyone else thinks he's a riot..., or they think it must be cool to think he's a riot and they're just wanting to fit in so bad.??? The asshole is usually some fat slob, who has the mentality of a 14 yo.
“Is that the Cure? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 😂😂
I've been watching these for a while, but this was the first one I didn't want to finish
Seriously, just awful
Yuup
I spamsalot She isn't funny.
Bill Brennan I wanted her to be funny cuz of Tom ):
@I spamsalot He's such a good guy. I know that now.
She's a great storyteller, I was really engaged.
It's also amazing that she and Tom had the same style of saying really offensive stuff but being charming enough that you know what they say is true, but it doesn't come from a bigoted place - it's just awareness on things, and most importantly, it's just comedy.
She took her style from him...lol
I just don't like it when she laughs.
@@imalrockme My friend has exactly the same laugh, it's a nostril thing I've been told. Some people may not like the way you laugh, or how I laugh. It's one the few things that bounds us humans together, the joy of laughter. Let us not take that away too. REAL LAUGHS MATTER!
@@discordye4825 Or he got his style from her? She’s been doing it longer. Also, don’t think they have the same style at all.
She aight
The “I’m not racist but I’m racist” vibe she’s giving me is reminding me of every valley white girl I went to high school with.
I couldn't agree with you more
It's so gross.... What the hell?
ColorMeIn YESSSSSSSS
Snowflake, victim seeking, weirdo
adrigon hey dimwit, check the name of the channel this is uploaded to
She is the most mom person I’ve ever seen
She's terrific and so funny. I always wanted to stuff that kitty, tap the milk kegs, and feed the starfish.
This is basically what this show is supposed to be I think. Some of the This is Not Happening stories are funnier than this, but they're really just material. This is just Christina P telling a story.
Mad respect to be pregnant and doing comedy.
I swear I didn’t even notice she was pregnant until the end because I was so engaged. Shots out to her 🙌🏽❤️
Dave Chapelle once performed pregnant as well.
Yes, because pregnancy severely impedes your ability to tell jokes.
@@KJ81574 Well you can tell she was a bit tired near the end
@@KJ81574 its hard to function period your energies being absorbed
The Main Mommy in THE HOUSE!!!!!
Get those jeans high and fucking tight!
She was incredibly offensive in this. I can’t believe she said Beetlejuice was stupid.
I thought that I was the only offended by that!!!
That’s the most offensive? What about all the race stuff? She told that story like she was confident there were no people of color in that audience. 🤦🏾♀️
@@deerush1388 the best part she get quickly offended irl should see the podcast ymh 9/10 doesn't understand the joke, triggered when topic women involved and not to be sexist but tom carries her career tbh
@@deerush1388 If I could thumb you down into the negatives, I would.
You’re wylin it was funny af and their were as you say POC in the audience one set were literally on the front left of the stage lol
Her snork gets me every time. Love her! ❤
Snort*
You're the type of person to say "blessing in the skies"
I absolutely love Christina and Tom, they're so funny! They are GOATS.
Toms a GOAT. Christina is more like a small dumb bird.
anyone else been non-stop watching these clips?
Maria Sanchez That was the most uneducated sentence here
I'm on about 7 hours straight
I want more chula stories
She just described my high school to a T!! Black girls would call me cabbage patch kid or cornsilk? I guess bc my blond hair. They'd sucker punch you tho when you least expected it.
@@jordanhicks5131 oh get the fuck outta here. Do you even believe what you said, you butthurt little fuck
@@HH-gv8mx as a emo kid from the dfw area things were pretty good for me lmao surprisingly workman jr high Lamar high school arlington I have bipolar 1 and everyone knew about it and left me alone because I was legit psychotic occasionally 🤷♀️
That would have been better.
jordan hicks She got punched in the face.
Any shot is a cheap shot to Whimp's like you.
I like her honesty. Its not hard to be different from each other. When I was a kid I had a kid sing a song while he punched me 3 times. I still find it funny. This happened in the 70's. I was 5 or 6. We are still friends.
😂😂😂
😭😭
One of my friends and i started our friendship with a fight 😂
We used to hate tf out of each other and one day I couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't letting up and pushed me to the ground and I got a nosebleed. So I got up, grabbed the front of her shirt, balled it up so I knew she wouldn't go anywhere and just started repeatedly punching her in the face. It took two teachers to get me off of her and we ended up laughing and bonding the whole week we spent in ISS together
Winona Ryder was goth in Beetlejuice, I am guessing that is the reference
Dd Hu I doubt it was that deep. Goths like Beetlejuice. I remember some kid calling a group of goths at my high school the "Nightmare Before Christmas" just because they all liked that lame weird movie.
Yeah, I would wager you are correct. Beetlejuice was still a fairly recent movie at that time and was one of the few with such mass appeal and commercial success to focus around a goth character. Goth had been around a while and even had presence in movies and music etc but, as far being something a huge segment of the population would be familiar with, especially a black kid from the inner city, it would have been pretty much the thing that represented that look in their minds
Oh really Good Logic......
You hit it square on the nail with that. The movie Beetlejuice was a big hit back than and families would have been able to rent the movie's VCR tape at your local movie rental shop. They also had a kids Saturday cartoon show that was on tv for a couple of years around than. Not only was the girl in Beetlejuice gothic but the entire premise of the show had a very gothic theme to it.
Imagine thinking you need constant reference and can’t just be something because it’s what you liked 😂
"Christina's husband is fat." - Burnt Chrysler
Some guy named Bart Kryschner said that too. What a dick
maybe he has a huge dick
i thought it was Burp Krapler
Tommy bunz is the personality champ, water champ and fitness champ.
Pretty sure it's Brent Crystals...
I never understood how she could put up with Tom’s psychopathy. I now understand she is female Tom.
Huh? You think Tom has Psychopathy?
Is she pregnant during this skit
@@Therealdrewdober yeah I was thinking that too
She’s being honest about how it was back then, ignorance is scary and she’s making fun of how wrong she was... in 7th grade... during the time of the riots in LA.
I don’t see how this is too edgy
It's not too edgy, it's just not funny.
@@AshleyBlowtorch It's pretty damn funny lmao
She openly said she's currently afraid of black girls, even when they're 12 years old...how can you cross the street when you see a black child and not be considered racist?
Lydia Taylor It’s comedy no race or whatever the fuck people are is safe
@@LydiaTaylorMusic jesus fucking christ. she's a comedian. this is comedy. the channel is comedy central. stop with the race baiting bullshit. do that somewhere relevant.
Jesus. This lady just described my best friend in high school. I had been bullied in elementary school so much, that my best friend in high school acted like this, and I didn't even notice it was abusive. She used to hit me a lot too. Wow.
This rang true for me and my school experience. I remember the pickles, but they also sold coolaid pickles, which are pickles soaked in coolaid obviously. From the imitations, to the movements, to the worldstar fights reference, this was just a well executed performance. I guess if you are a prudish person looking from the outside in, you might just see her making racial jokes and not find it funny, but the shit she is saying is so real, I'm very convinced she lived this story. She's awesome, a fantastic story teller and knows how to deliver a line, my goodness.
I was too a lil goth girl in an inner city school
I love this series 💜
So glad RUclips recommended me her interview on Rogan. Never heard of her before, but now that I've seen a bit of her standup and it's just great :D
Yes listen to your moms house
I grew up JUST LIKE THIS, but in Palmdale, and my cholita BFF was named Evette. :'D
Palmdale High School or Pete Knight?
You like that song Angel Baby? LMAO
This woman is brilliant.. Love her candor.
Legend has it this ladys is still looking for a funny punchline.
hahaha
Goth girl turn your girl lesbian?
😂😂😂
she ate shit
... this lady* is ...
Is Christina Pascitzky ever NOT pregnant?
Are you ever not NOT pregnant?!
If my wife was that hot & funny I'd keep her knocked up too.
I thought the bitch was just a fat pig
I was just thinking the same thing
FYI she’s not pregnant now and is quite attractive. What’s the point of being a dick for the sake of being a dick?
I think you can hear Bert Kriesher AKA Burnt Chrysler repeat the line, "Haikus" and start laughing! @ 12:13
That’s great!!
Bert Kreischer*
ari laughing the hardest out of everyone is a big mood
Fun fact! Doing that “you don’t know me!” bit every night for 6 months was how she lost 40 lbs. Tom lost 50lbs with “Bikes!”
"Bikes!!" rules!!
Stop selling’ drugs!
Read the comments, immediately regretted it.
So much butthurt. 😑
Same here. I came to read YMH memes and jeans. All I see is waaah waaah, being offened on behalf of other people. The ultimate narcissism.
@@V0r4xiz this bitch is A) not funny, B) super privileged
@@Twocrudedudes She'd be a nobody without Tom...
mellamosean how often are you watching kids get beaten
This is great to watch while enjoying, A Succulent Chinese Meal!
Adam S balls for jaws
"For eating a meal?! A succulent Chinese meal?!"
That was really good. I felt everything
idk wtf yall are talking about i've watched like 30 of these and she is hella funny. you want unfunny women to go hate on theres always amy schumer and iliza schlesinger videos out there.
hey don't lump in amy and iliza together, iliza's waaaaay better
(at least her jokes are HER jokes)
Facts
Amen. Christina’s hilarious. I tried watching Iliza once, and I was out after like 5 minutes. Same with Whitney and Nikki Glaser.
the audience barely laughed
iliza omg I couldn't agree more, I guess she's well-received in the USA but internationally speaking, 7/10 times we don't find her takes on war or the army funny
Two years later, and she's still great!
It's been two more years, Andrew.
Hurt people hurt people and unfortunately, both of them were going through some tough times which got violent but in the end, things came out ok. It's a great story to break down in a bunch of different ways, so I'm glad Christina was able to tell her experience.
Finally, the voice of reason in this comments section! You are so spot on! Junior high school ain't easy, that's for sure.
I just wanted to comment cuz I'm Tammie R as well 🤷🏿♀️😁
@@tammie4272 Hey girl! 🤩☺
@mellamosean Any form of Tammy is welcomed to me lol
@mellamosean The Tams gotta stick together! Glad we could meet in the middle.
shes so awesome and brave
I was tryna roll a blunt while watching this, laughed so hard got Green everywhere, had to start over twice, worth it tho😆😆😆🤣🤣
"I'm not saying that all..." she says that a lot.!
You mean that *at* all?
Christina P. is funny AF and as honest as they come. I've been a fan since her special Mother Inferior.
Same same! I just watched her new special called 'Mom Genes' on Netflix. It's hilarious!! AND....I just found out after watching it that she is married to comedian Tom Segura! Hilarious couple!
@@CourtneyDeez yeah, the new special is 👍. You didn't know shes been with Tommy for yeRs? Check out their podcast called Your Moms House. It's not bad, they are pretty funny. I dig Tom's podcast with Bert more though. 2Bears 1Cave
Thank you for making it funny, that’s a damn hard topic to make jokes about especially as a female happy national women’s day! My family is completely mixed so we didn’t deal with that in a little hippie town. But this had us cracking up
Love Christina P and her comedy!!!!!!
"Blessing in the skies" bahahahaha
THE TRICK IS TO NEVER READ THE COMMENTS. JUST ENJOY THE VIDEO. IF ITS NOT FOR YOU NEVER WATCH IT AGAIN. GREAT JOB MOMMIES, KEEP EM HIGH AND TIGHT
MARK AGUILAR racist fuck you
@@thecasino8022 yes thank you
One starts to read comments when the material is dry
My chola friend is Norma... She was a trip... Loved her.
Mine is valerie. She cute.
Norma and Rudy?
Norma the Explorer?
awwwwwww this hit me in the feels. Gud stuff !
It's amazing how good both her and Tom Segura are at telling stories. Funniest couple of all time.
I had no idea this was tommy bun's wife
+Sean Quinn Yep
She isn't near as good as Tom, but she snorted her way through it pretty good.
she's tom seguras broad? thanks for telling me. now she's unattractive as hell.
They're definitely up there!
"Oh hey, i hear nothing bad happens!" Hahahaa
This was one of the best concepts for a show.
Quite the follow through. I wanna see this as a movie please.
Rosina needs to be a guest on YMH.
beetlejuice : not a stupid movie
Gr8 actually i rmbr me &my momz had this big ass jigsaw puzzle😁🔥
richard gould Thank you!
PREACH
The main thing I took from this hilarious story is that integration works
We're just the human race my man! Can't wait until Aliens invade so we'll all finally realize that lol
Absolutely hilarious🤣😂🤣
She's batshit crazy...... I love her.
I love when the one guy just screams Haiku's
You know who that is right
2023 and this story is still AMAZING!
brought me to tears ...
Those intros are so awesome, the guys who make it got skills.
they should do shows based on the intros.
yeah, but without ari
It's strange to see her & Tom have a similar rhythm
Because shes not original and mimics his.
Red Weber lmao you bothered little bitch
People who are in love often mirror each others behaviors and mannerisms... they’ve been together for a million years so it’d be strange if they didn’t share any attributes.
And she totally used the same “white guy names” Tom segura used in his bit about the first 48
@@paulywalnuts5008 seems like you tied your shoelaces and the ends were wet
I 💕 this story!!
i felt this....
i love how she’s whispering as if she finna wake her kid
The level of funny needs to exceed the level of racism I think that’s kind of the bare minimum
Spam Ben 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
amen!
If that were the case we'd have zero black comedians.
How else do you depict stereotypes that turn out to be true for certain individuals? She got her ass beat just so one day she can make a joke about it. Let her have this one.
AMEN!!!
This is one of my favorites on the show
I feel like this works in her podcast world but it's not translating as well to the stage 🤷♀️
You mean there’s a version of this that’s actually funny?
That's because she's not funny. She's just married to someone who is.
This was really bad
@@johnnyparsnips7641She's gotten a free ticket into the business by being married to Tom, no doubt. But it's a bit of an exaggeration to say that Tom writes her shit. I'm pretty sure she's just not a good comedian. Gonna need some evidence on that one.
Their styles are different. Obviously tom doesnt write for her. She deffinently wouldnt have been succseful if it wasnt for tom. I still dont understand how she gets headliner gigs. I like her on ymh tho.
Who else is watching this during 2020 riots?
This was a great episode, not as vile and perverted as most of the other ones but still funny in it's own way
Its*
Any woman that can walk through married life with Tom Segura was born a comedic genius.
Had a huge crush on her when she was on Road Rules . ❤️❤️
you knew this was going to be a mediocre bit when she nearly starts off by saying she lived straight out of Compton, but then tries to make a joke about integration and how it freaked her out because she was from a safe suburb... it ain't easy trying to make people laugh.
So glad you wrote what I was thinking. Still watching a d waiting for it to be funny.
Mediocre is a generous assessment
yute Secretly?
cant believe an og white valley girl got to talk openly discriminatory about something she barely understood at her age for 10 minutes, also i do not believe she was anything closer to poser goth if she is openly agro to people of color with struggles during the LA riots. any og goth would connect with that shit more than any other suburban white girl from the valley back then. poser!
Fuvk u Christian and everyone in this comment thread, Christina is richer & funnier than you will b ever b 🥰
I went to 2nd-5th in Inglewood in the early '80s and this is very true. so funny.
She’s my new hero!
Love this woman!!!
Fun fact -- this series is filmed at a strip club in Hollywood called Cheetah's.
True they used to show it in the intros plus theirs a stripper pole right beside them lol
As someone who grew up in south central LA in the late 80s, but went to school in the valley, it's so weird to me how many white peep now say they were into NWA. Where were they hiding? I was friends with shawn the white skateboarder, the goth girl, juan the handball player, this Cher-ish (clueless) girl from santa monica, but never ran into these NWA listening white people.
I was one of the white people listening to NWA, and not from my own discovery, but from Sinead O'Connor touting them in an interview.
I was into Snoop and Dr. Dre in the 90's. I heard about them from other white kids.
Bruh white people were the ones making the most noise about them.
oh man she is a beauty! tom is one luckt guy, love from sweden folks!
Don't forget @Comedy Central, Christina was on Road Rules - Season six - Australia. My all time favorite of all of them; especially when she grilled & Kefla and told him, "this is the last time, you'll be around all these folks, you've dealt with so much challenges & got rewarded for it; plus, be for real and show some true emotions from yourself." I remember that scene; especially when she said [exactly], "if you don't show up at the end, after all's said & done, I'll never talking to you again. NEVER. NEVER! I'm not calling you, not writing you; you'll have no friendship."