Mark Normand - Desperate for a Shower - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- Опубликовано: 7 мар 2016
- Mark Normand reveals what happened when he didn't have hot water for a week and had to ask a teacher if he could shower at her apartment.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
Follow Mark Normand on Twitter: / marknorm
Theme by Run the Jewels. Purchase the LP here: apple.co/1ARsXOf 
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In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: ruclips.net/p/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ
Comedy Central Stand-Up You need to get Steve Hofstetter to tell the story of how he became an optimist on here, it would be literally perfect
@@skeptictankclips6975 damn, you hosted the show, you can't get in contact with them another way other than a yt comment?
Wtf the format with the teaser and then intro is stupid on RUclips
@@dontcry1699 bl k
@@dontcry1699 bl b
She keeps getting older every time he tells her age lol
She goes from 41 to 58 to 68 all the way to fucking 71! All in the span of probably 2 hours.
+Jake Saying she's 41 is definitely more attractive. Maybe she actually was 71? He was just too embarrassed to admit it at first haha
I think that's what makes it funny. lol
Yeah, it seemed like nobody was noticing that at the show.
+Inevitabledreams it's all part of the joke
love how she got older each time he brought up her age
Just like you love every movie pitch you've ever heard, you god damned talentless hack!? YOU DIDN'T DESERVE EITHER OF THOSE OSCARS!!!
Very original post
...and how he went from being "fresh out of college" to "I was still in school had to go there Saturday"
@@YourFullTimeLily yo you look like the tubby kid from polar express
Mixed with kim jong un
@@Calilou52 Thank you that was really kind of you.
"She had everything in there. SOAP."
Soap in her bathroom, a real adult!
I just made that 1k likes...
Cool.
That was the only one that actually made me laugh.
Thanks for repeating a line from the skit.
Mark Normand is one of those guys that becomes your favorite comic quickly after your first exposure to him
Just realizing this now lol
Just happened to me today
Joined the group just now🤔
Just happened to me lol
Eh
Real life quagmire.
😂😂😂😂
Judge Lazar Yes!!!
@Alonso Delgado that's what Mrs Fritz said!
Thank you lol! I knew he spoke like a cartoon character, but I didn’t know which one.
Giggity 😁
Well, 80 is a good time to retire anyway.
True, teaching at 86, that gotta be tough.
Loved this comment
Damn, he should have ended with that. Ending was pretty weak. Would have been an amazing callback
I immediately thought of Ms. Frizzle when he said "watermelon on her skirt with watermelon earrings." I was just waiting to see if he made that connection.
slockhrt didnt frizzle have pineapples?
@@PantsB4Squares frizzle had different outfits
Did he?
Pretty sure that was part of the joke..
Mrs frizzles outfit changed with very lesson.. ex: learned about stars had stars on her dress
I feel guilty every time I skip the intros (they seem pretty expensive) but damn... unnecessary to say the least
"You suck Ari Rules" *in the O'Doyle rules voice from Billy Madison*
Don't feel guilty at all...they suuuuuuck
I actually really like them, I always wonder what the hell it's going to be this time.
Very much so
I read a comment (so it might not be true) but apparently it helps them justify higher budgets - I assume this can be helpful when you have some comics have more developer careers and some have less developed careers. Also they probably produce one intro per episode and each episode probably contains like four or five spots for these comics.
Is... is he describing Mrs. Frizzle from the Magic Schoolbus?
It's Mrs Frizzle, and yeah, I think he is...she's got to be kinky as fuck.
I thought it was just me who wanted to fuck that school bus driving bitch. She looks like she has some good DS lips...lol
@@Hellgearone istg
Screenshot 😂
That’s probably why they stopped making new episodes
i love it when he changes a minor detail of the story. like in his last "this is not happening" he was like
he was asian - probably mongolian or something
he was asian - probably korean or something
he was asian - probably chinese or something
He was asian - probably Vietnamese or something
He was Asian - probably Indian or Something
thats a bit of norm in him, mark's fav comic
I love how Mark said in a podcast that he bombed this bit. No he didn't at all.
well.. this actually is one of his weaker bits i feel like.. not weak. weakER. he's a really good comic.
Based on crowd reaction yea he bombed but he's told the story in front of other audiences and killed
Just discovered this dude from JRE. I dont know how I never noticed him before! I can relate. I am weird with the eye contact thing too.
If that wasn’t a bomb what is?
Mark absolutely killed it; the audience just sucked.
That ending was rough... You can see the pain in his face, and him getting flush.
They say never blame the crowd but man, a lot of his great punches got no reaction and they would start laughing early at cheap set ups
dull crowd.
It wasn't even that bad, you're overreacting.
@@Ge0rge_0rwell obviously you don’t follow stand up very much. that crowd stunk.
@@SloppyballsMcGuillicutty you need to pay attention to the crowds reactions, most of them were laughing and the females were dying right behind him, look at their faces. You obviously don't understand what you're talking about. He was in a small club, not an arena. And seriously, get over yourself.
Somewhere, an 92 yr old ex teacher has a story about a student who smelled like Stove Top stuffing and had sex with her which got her fired.
Mark Normand handles anticlimax just like Norm MacDonald. Great stuff!
Mark NormDonald 😅
@@dlm9293 Norm Normand
norm markdonald
He even does the aaaaaeh thing lol. They're my two favorite all time comedians. Both extremely clever and masters in the art of wordplay. RIP Norm
Big inspiration for him.
I've seen enough of both that when I'm out I notice I start to copy mannerisms. Tense shoulders, awkward noises. One day it might even get me so far as to lie down on top of a lady for 5 minutes.
"Teacher! Student! Paella! What a night!" 😂
One of his best stories… like hands down he is one of the best comedians out there. The awkwardness and delivery is so perfect it’s hard to believe that he’s considered a z-list comedian…. In my mind he is above the list.
He's considered one of the best not z list these days. His special has 10 million views
Comedy central really boofed it
@@ole_limberlegs I was gonna say, his popularity has shot up in the last couple of years. He's doing theaters now.
Like hands down, but not exactly?
z-list? I think that’s just an accent he is the list 😬
"I've got no hot water"
"Well, I've got no T-cells".
I fucking love AIDS jokes.
I grew up in Crown Heights. He right about only being Jewish people and Caribbean black. I'm Jamaican and I talked to them once
Ppp
Hello, from the OTHER side of eastern parkway 😆
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣... Once hahaha
Who else was expecting ". Good night this is Kevin hart" 😂 😂
Amazingly well paced story without a stutter, hiccup, or fault in delivery. 13 minutes of perfected story-telling craft. And what does one find in the comments section. Personal insults, an inability to get the most simple of comedic devices (how 21 year old americans thing anyone over the age of 27 is basically old enough to be dead), or an inability to understand that he is carrying out a comedians mea culpa but taking something he clearly feelings ashamed about and making a story about it.
Comedy is often about making lemons from lemonade. He's joking about his landlord dying of AIDS for Christ's sake. Do you think he was actually joking at the time? Do you think he was actually nonchalant when he got his teacher fired? This is the brilliance of comedy. We laugh because we die. Comedians often turn their deepest source of shame into a breezy thing of levity. Because sometimes laughter is the only redemption a situation has. And yet so many of you continually fail to get it. You probably think Richard Pryor enjoyed setting himself on fire free-basing cocaine, or that he found it funny he turned to drugs to deal with his childhood as the kid of a pimp and a prostitute who was molested along the way. What a douche Pryor was, am I right?
It is, at times, so frustrating having to share the world with you mouth breathers who just don't fucking get it. A bunch of dissatisfied content vampires who produce nothing, complain about everything, and are condemning people based on their perfect execution of a medium that your puny goldfish attention spans are poorly equipped to appreciate in the first place.
So fuck all of you. I'm out.
What a cluster fuck of a review.
It was miss-timed and clumsy as fuck. Strained and desperately played to the camera. The story was told more mellifluously on legion of skanks podcast.
Doing bits on a podcast sucks anyway.
+TheMunt2000 Please tell me English is not your first language.
sorry forgot this was an english lesson, and my report required appendices and quotes as required
I've edited it to make it clearer for you and removed the alcohol filter that i had when placing the comment. Thanks for your critique of a critics criticism.
Try harder with your reviews in all cases 3/10
+TheMunt2000 Wow, you went back and edited that, just for me. Try harder at life. 0/10
😂 I love how she keeps getting older each time he mentions her age. So hilarious!!! Great comedian and story teller.
I like how she progressively got older as the story went on.
Ralph Lauren ???
" ovaries on my forehead" ....funniest shit evr...
side note love love love the intros ,always look forward to the theme....
"Whoresbath" is low key my favorite word in the English language.
He is a genuine pos, which is why he is entertaining.
This intro was like a complete Rick & Morty episode. Kudos.
I would’ve just taken a cold shower, by like the 2nd day
Destiny Joseph but then he wouldn’t had banged mrs fritz
Or boil water and bath after school.
in the marines back about 78 we did winter training at mt. Fuji , japan . the shower building had no heat and no hot water with snow on the ground . if I remember right we were there about a month or two .some guys didn't take one the entire time . I tried to take one at least a couple of times a week . fastest shower I ever had .
@@mrwascallyt9865 they cut out the water in Russia all the time to clean the pipes. Lasts about 2 weeks at least. I just take a cold shower every day lmao it's nit a big deal
@@mrwascallyt9865 that's so gross. I would at least take a bird bath every day, and still shower every other day.
I love that she gets like 10 years older every time he mentions her age
Mark’s an amazing comedian and storyteller
Teacher! Student! Paella!
"He wasn't like magic johnson, he was full blown. I'm talking Rent, Philadelphia. " the people that did catch that one were triggered 😆😆 I love Mark.
@joshh609 everyone in Philly has full-blown aids
@joshh609 I think there is a musical called Rent where some people have it rough lol
@@dinobot4599 yeah it's kinda a play on him being in film school. Rent is a play about showbiz in NYC and Aids is a huge theme and someone dies from it, Philadelphia is a movie that takes place in the "city of brotherly love" about a gay man Tom Hanks being fired because he had AIDS and he eventually dies at the end. Very deep reference
Anyone who doesn't think Mark Normand can do anecdotal comedy should watch this... love it! 😂😂😂
Mark Normand, Joe List , two of the best comedians working today! Tuesday With Stories is the best podcast ever!
POWERFUL Mark Normand.
Am I the only one wondering about the Dinner-party??
I'm actually wondering how he boiled water in his apartment with the electricity, heat, and hot water off.
Gas lines are separate!
Love Norman, Love List! Go Tuesdays!! Love this story so much! You're the MAN Ari!
Mark Normand is so funny, been following him for a good while now.
Mark Normand is one of the best comedians out there right now, hands down. And I love the podcast Tuesday's with Stories!
Longest story ever from Mark. He's something else, great comic fr.
omfg, I just noticed his earlobes
Jose Hilera
Where?
mk iv exactly he has no earlobes jaja
Omg!!!!
His adams apple makes up for no ear lobes.
I couldn't stop staring
"Somebody probably farted, it IS November."
One of the most underrated comics. Always funny.
This guy was funny as hell
Mark brings up topics other comedians are scared to bring up and talk about
Love this series. Love the intro music.. the opening bit with the alien... love it. Love Mark Normand's comedic style, material, and delivery. Keep 'em coming.... he's hilarious!
This guy can tell a story. Very charismatic.
This is Not Happening needs its own channel.
This guy brings so much joy into my life. Thanks Mark
New fan here, have been watching Mr. Normands bits for hours. Wow.
Love how he keeps making her older, and older each time he tells the story lol
His voice is so funny lmao
How have I just found out about this guy??? He's so GOD DAMN funny
I know the feeling
this is my favorite of these I've seen. so cringey but hysterical regardless
I love that he thought he bombed during this show. It was a story full of groans and uncomfortable laughter but those are often the best ones!
Mark has the best delivery I've ever heard
"Out to lunch" best comedy special in awhile
FACTS!!! I think its what how the youngsters are saying it.
Its not a million laughs per hour but its an entertaining story. It feels like a very old school standup routine.
I laugh harder each time I watch this. Extremely vivid story. The best part is how everything in his Life is melting 24/7 throughout. Extremely identifiable.
The people cringing was the funniest part. Hilarious story
Man this dude is just a masterful writer. So much so that it completely makes up for his lack of stage presence and personality and everything else. The best jokes in the world sound bad when they come from the wrong person but he is such a good writer that none of it even matters.
lol true but it came from a place I know from personal experience. I spent a good portion of my life doing something and I'm just such an uninteresting person and don't have a likable face and have a completely shit voice naturally with no gifts at all so all I could do is work on it the best I could and really do my best writing I could to try and make up for it but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't overcome that and I tried FUCKING HARD. So I'm just saying it's INSANELY impressive that he is so good at writing that none of those issues even matter AT ALL. Dude is a damn genius! Fucking legendary.
ArtifiShuL Instinct Damn, u said no gifts. Thats being harsh. Isn't being a good joke writer a gift??
@@mattlandry Even just being somewhat funny in everyday conversation is a gift few will enjoy. If you write well, then keep writing!
How old are you, friend? Something tells me you are quite young and maybe dont have to peak career-wise just yet! 😉
the IRON-y haahaha. love it
I'm guilted in to watching the intro everytime! Lol
I like how he goes from calling her 40 years old to 58 to 68 to 71 . lmaoo
The idea to keep changing the age is so simple but so perfect
Best description of CrownHeights
he's my favorite comedian for sure
Hé always has epic stories to tell!
Everything...soap
Mark Normand is a genius comedian.
This was genuinely awesome!
Mark is the best. Never laughed harder than listening to Tuesday's With Stories
Most under rated and awesome comedian around.
Hilarious one of the best ones I've watched. I like his style of humor kind of like oblivious and circumstantial
Ari, you have the hands down coolest opening intros ever
They need to get Eric Andre on here.
+Donte' Wilson BIRD UP!
He would just piss in the ppl and get kicked out
YOOOO I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT. BUT FUCK YEAH SOMEONE NEEDS TO BDAWKS THAT SHÏT HAPPEN LMAO
Ew fuck no. Hate that dude's comedy
BAAAAAAAAASSSSSS
I can’t believe he hooked up with Ms. Frizzle.
"now I'm the smelly guy at school.."
Been there brother! 😂
Tom’s deodorant victim?
He is genius with his stand up
Sometimes I don’t understand the jokes but they’re still funny because of the delivery
"40-41" then he goes "58" then "68 yr old woman"
how old is she? 100?
I KNOW RIGHTTT
I thought it was a whole “The Night Of” situation the next morning!😳😂
I don't hate the wierd beginnings anymore now that I see how they relate and the creativity of it
this might be the craziest ending a show could offer 😂
HILARIOUS!
WHERE IN THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE HIS EAR LOBES
+12D3 THANK YOU. I had to listen to it with the window minimized because I couldn't focus
12D3 you know that not everyone has ear lobes, right? They are genetic.
One of the best stories ever
Mark normand is so underrated
The opening clip always ruins the story.
SevenSeasAgo nigga skip it
yeh i skip that shit!
lol the hilarious thing is that people complain in 2018 about the NEW version of the show and the intros, pining for the old days when the intros were like this
SevenSeasAgo Hay genius skip the intro.
I skip everything til the story starts
This guy is going to be the greatest comedian of all time.
This guy is great.
He’s gotten so much better.
Reminds me of his other one where the ethnicity of the guy chasing him changes lol
I used to live in Prospect Heights (borders Crown Heights), heat and hot water was out CONSTANTLY in the winter. Had to man up and take freezing cold showers.
That opening is actually hilarious though
He said he bombed here. If this is him bombing that means he can beat almost all these new comics out of the water on his worst night.
He didn’t earn his red wings
He earned his red wedding
This was the inspiration for the HBO mini series "The Night Of"
This is my favourite show
The changing age bit was so funny