Why You Have No Self Control
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I help people build themselves physically/mentally through fitness and self help videos.
self discipline, avoiding temptation, no self control, how to have self control, learning self control, how to have self discipline, how to build self control, how to improve self control, nofap relapse urge, i have no self control
Well... that kind of self control helps sometimes and even often. But not always. I worked for 6 weeks straight on my job and on my channel and had a total meltdown one day before eastern where I did not want to do anything, my head just said "world, leave me alone". No amount of self awareness and control helped me there. I took 3 days off, turned off my phone and just went out into nature hiking and watching nature.
Instead of always trying to work on self control, I try to rely more on habits and environmental design. And yes... sometimes it´s okay do watch netflix and do nothing productive, regardless of what hustle culture wants to tell us :-)
I feel that too. If you have been squeezing your self awareness too much and you will become a rebel.
Very very well said. Maybe the one thing that's making you lose self control is that you're overworking yourself. Taking some self care time and relaxing is totally okay sometimes. Thanks for this comment!
Ahhh nature hikings are definitely a cheat code that we have here in this world hehe.. Helps a lot and I'm so grateful for it..
@@cloudscape5996 Yes, one of the things money can´t buy. Sitting on top of a mountain and watching the sunrise :-). Thanks @Cole for pinning my comment :-)
I agree. Productivity for the sake of productivity is another form of social pressure to a degree. All work and no play is unhealthy. We need things to look forward to.
A brilliant way to do this:
1. Stop what you're doing.
2. Take a very deep breathe and hold for 5 seconds.
3. Very strong exhale.
4. Repeat 5 times.
5. Think about what you were just doing, then think about what you should be doing.
6. Get on with you life.
It's half hour I'm breathing, but I needed to poop half hour ago...
Take a deep breath, close your eyes and get ready...
This. When you pause and take a moment of what you need to do, you get back on track.
HOLD? Are you kidding me.
@@frupunrounin738 totally can relate
"Last time I recall, I was using my mind, my mind was not using me! Our mind is a tool, use it, don't let it use you."
Mind = blown
My mind is a computer, im coming from the future on a hovercraft scooter
Damn that was dope
@Soviet Doggo What?......I always thought it was the other way round!
@0 so .....basically, becoming a Christian makes you ignorant!
This is my first full day without watching pornography and really controlling myself. I worked out for 3 hours today and then I rode my bike for awhile & then mowed the back yard. Slowly getting myself together day by day I’m really proud of myself. & imma keep going!
Now?
day 43 on nofap,social anxiety is 70% gone
Goodluck bro
Good luck mate🎉
ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties ass n titties
I can’t control myself from watching a Cole hastings video😩
Some things don't need controlling ;)
@@ColeHastings aha
Rifk
bad habit watch it we will all see on the cole anonym meeting Monday
One of my favorite quotes: “Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.”
Was it from netero??i guess..
“The Happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts”
Be comfortable with yourself alone.
Be dependable on yourself.
Be your own emotional support.
Life is truly freeing when you are self made and rely on no one for help or happiness.
For many it’s hard to be comfortable when alone. Great point!
I feel like you can't completely trust yourself either because dementia, amnesia, all those other terrible sicknesses that messes with your brain and perception😫
For real!! 💯⚡
Bless you while watching one of the cheeck slayin prophets. Thank the gospel verse 55:34 which states: If a man wishes to achieves his full potential and life dreams, He has to hold on to his selfmade creams. Amen
Rely on no one for happiness, but still ask for help! Don't go it alone if you don't have to
There is a qoute on bhagavat gheeta " your mind can be your best friend but it can also be your worst enemy".
True that
Bhagvad* hota hai gawar
The main factor behind success is self-control.👍
Without a doubt
That’s so true!
Not at all. Self control is an illusion. People do shit because they want to not because of self control.
Cracked up at the brazzers part holy shit
That's really how it be
ayyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sup Brian
Not really how I go about it lol, every couple days I think, "huh, I feel like doing that", then I do it and I'm good for a while. I try to spread it out and change up formats to make it less harmful, though eventually I plan to quit entirely.
Don’t curse
Damn bro leave some muscle for us
Before I couldn't control myself and it ruined my relationships with friends and family, now I'm practicing meditation and working out to learn some self-control and to make sure I don't hurt anybody around me again. Thank you for this video, Cole.
You got this
That's me.
Same man been doing that for the longest, now its time to work
Man, every time I'm having an issue with something you always make a video specifically about what i'm having trouble with right when I need it most. You must be some kind of mind reader lmao
I agree, coil has a clear mind.
I gotchu ❤
Agree, Cole is awesome ! 👍
Everyone is going through this. . this is for everyone
"You are not your thoughts" I don't know why but this alone change the whole perspective of me.
Your brain naturally wants to take the path of least resistance. Learning how to lean into resistance rather than remaining contempt is a powerful skill to master.
Then what are you? (ok that got too philosophical)
The "Me" you speak about is just your thought and that that tries to makes sense by perceiving through it limited senses and puts you in a cycle till death.
I'm not religious but God bless this man
@0 amen
Ooooh, A Metallica fan I see. Nice..
@0 A-Goddamn-Men
its not a voice, its thoughts. “A person who thinks all the time, has nothing to think about except thoughts. So, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions."
Alan Watts was a wordsmith
"You are not your thoughts. You are a consciousness that perceives them."
“And after you do it, you go who the hell was controlling me?”
You’d never believe what i was doing just three and a half minutes ago….
"The first act of freedom is to not submit to that which is not free within yourself. It is not only Knowledge that will hold you back. You must hold yourself back. This is a daily practice. The personal mind will do what it does. Don't get entangled with it. Your job is to know when to hold yourself back."
Marshall Vian Summers
Love that
Thank you, Ivan.
Thank you
'you are not your thoughts'.
I really needed that, thank you.
@Genn Jeets you are the person observing your thoughts.
Hey Cole, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but I just wanted to let you know that your way of thinking about self control really resonated with me. Naming the voice as “societal programming” made everything click. I feel like I now understand how I function because you broke it down so well. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much, and please keep keep doing what you gotta do (and don’t do what the voice tells you to do!)
I keep trying to wake up early to do this productivity schedule I made but I can never get myself to get up out of bed because I stayed up so late that I feel terrible. So it’s a never ending cycle of waking up late, staying up late, trying to get up early, but falling back asleep due to the lack of sleep I had that night.
So I've been fighting thoughts of procrastination rather than separating myself from these thoughts. I love how every single one of his videos teaches me something. Should start taking notes :)
Finally, I can reach my full potential.
I’m actually somewhat failing school for the single reason I won’t focus on my work,
I have multiple things I still need to finish and I can’t convince myself to finish them sometimes.
So thank you for this video, because know I can finally get my life to be more efficient.
Actually this method helps a lot. Only thing I would recommend is to turn off your notifications on your phone, because it can easily distract you from analysing your thoughts.
Personally I just like to lie down on my bed, let all them thoughts come through, talk to myself in my head if there is a problem that i need to overcome.
P.S. can we all just stop for a sec and appreciate how good his cinematography/editing skills have gotten!
Thank you so much
That video just made me look at everything completely differently. I was sitting on the floor for 15 minutes just thinking about this, swear to god.
amazing video as always🔥
Love to hear that!
This guy makes some serious content and deserves some extra recognition already.
You should start a podcast, I really enjoy listening to these videos
Already have a podcast, link in my description
"You are not your thoughts"
This is reminds me the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, the power of now. I love how it is associated with Self Control by being aware and conscious.
I am currently reading The Power of Now, it's amazing.
I love that idea. “Leave the front door in the back door open…Don’t serve your thoughts tea.”
You changed my life, I had no idea how much I've been struggling with this, I was crying on how much your going to change my life, Love you and ty Cole Hastings.
You are the brother I wish I had.
Stepbro!😂
For real I think this video is one of the most important video that you did, like it's the key to have if you want to apply everything you said before
Thank you
You can control your urges, get off social media, maintain a clean diet, workout consistently etc. But it doesn't mean you'll "stand out" from the crowd. I mean, yes you will stand out, but it doesn't mean getting a job, a partner or anything else will be any easier, everyone will just THINK it's easier for you, which can actually make them resent you and make things harder for you than if you were just a regular Joe.
Also, he's talking about cognitive behavioral therapy, the act of becoming consciously aware of your thoughts and when you start letting yourself go down a bad thought path. When Cole describes that little voice telling him to be lazy or procrastinate, understand that it's a LOT easier for him to fight that voice, because he's already successful. If I had a RUclips channel with half a million subs before I was 25, I'd be able to fight that voice too.
It's a lot harder to fight when you're 15 years older than that, have no successes to draw on, nothing going well in your life, and a long string of failures and bad outcomes to look back at.
Having successes, even small ones, is VITAL to shutting that voice up. When you literally cannot remember the last success you had, it's much, much harder.
Best I’ve ever heard on the subject!!! Loved the quote “front door-back door open to let thoughts come & go! Just don’t serve them Tea!!” That’s the Best!!!
I let my thoughts control me for such a long period of my life, but I know better than this. Thanks for the quality content man, I'll not let my thoughts control me much longer.
I got tired of porn after 5 years. Complete nightmare
And I think that there is nothing wrong with consuming things. I mean, in society we define winners as people who produce a lot, and losers people who just consume. But I mean, why make a video game if no-one is gonna play it? It's highly questionable though if somebody should produce porn. I would never do it for ethical reasons
I let go completely 6 years ago. It changed my life. No more trying to control myself. It felt sustainable, and I started producing a lot more music. Good music too. Eventually I had to re-integrate will-power and discipline too.
What's your SoundCloud bro
@@jellyii8886 beyond-26
Struggling with PMO and this video is what I need
hi guys this comment is just a remainder to myself .I am a victim of lot of the above mentioned things cole had pointed out which led to my suicidal attempts.i have my important exams(lifetime important) coming up in a month.I hope to make a difference(been trying to quit various things and failed continuously) and thanks for the content cole. :)
Good luck
I’ve always been a person with relatively low self control. Not the worst but I’ve definitely felt like it’s been holding me back. Thanks for sharing videos like this.
Okay, it was really nice to hear this cause I have that back and forth momentum. When you talk between yourself and people look at you weird. I'm not crazy, I talk to myself cause I'm sane.
It is easy to hear this and be like "Imma do this right now, easy piece of cake" but what is hard is to be constant or to actually understand this and apply this to our own minds since everyone is different and not everyone might do the weird observant "strategy"
It is pure vednatha.. seperating ego from thoughts and this will automatically kill the ego to reveal your true self (Ever exist conciouness bliss).
Had never thought about this, when that little voice starts speaking negative things to you, just sort of meditate for a bit and become aware of every thought that's trying to hold you back. Will give this practice a try. Thank you, Cole :)
I needed this video cause i said very nasty things on someone on Instagram because they judged what i liked and i went way too far. Sometimes im unintentionally toxic and i want to have more self control so i dont end up hurting soemone at one point
Mental health applies to ultimately everything we do in our lives. In order to take control of your mental health, you need to take control of everything you do, think, and feel (not saying you should suppress or repress). It's easier to indoctrinate kids to do this, but for adults it's far far harder. Not that it is impossible, but it will take a lifetime to master your emotions if you start as an adult.
22 and struggling daily
Big facts here. A powerful "ego death" or whatever you wanna call it (kinda don't like the term) made me experience that separation of thought and self in an incredibly profund way. Thought loops are a powerful thing, and psychedelics can lead you to its truth.
while I was waching this video, my thoughts were telling me that it is too much effort and that it's okay no to take this seriously. But then, I realized that what I really want is to control myself, so I watched all the video alghough I found very attractive to just pass.
That voice in your head is just societies programming, that is something I really needed to hear thankyou. I've heard "you're not your thoughts" but it never really made complete sense to me without that explanation.
I can't physically tell you how much you and your videos, all your work, have helped me these past few days. I am and will be forever grateful to you. Thank you Cole, thank you for helping me find myself again.
Amazing Video dude. I'm disciplining myself a lot this week, as well as the past month. You gave great advice in this video that I really appreciate, thank you.
This was a great video. Realizing I am not my thoughts is something I've never put much thought into but wow its an amazing piece of advice.
Lack of self control feels like it goes hand by hand with dopamine addiction no?
That masking at 5:14 was Elite 👌🏾🔥
Damn, Hollywood level VFX 😂😂
Wow. It’s still mind blowing for me to think that I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS. I’ve always thought that it’s my inner self telling me to do stuff against my own will. I thought it’s the definition of my being 😭😭😭😩😩😩
The bad voice in my head told me to stop working and watch a cole hastings video but the cole hastings video is telling me not to listen to that voice but the voice brought me here while working. I am soooo conflicted
Wow, not only does it affect your own life when you give into those negative thoughts, but it affects the lives of others & ultimately the world. I discovered your channel earlier this year & you have become one of my favorite RUclipsrs. Your videos really help me out, and I’m sure they have helped many other people to gain perspective & grow as individuals. If you gave into the negativity that tried to distract you, I wouldn’t be watching this right now. Thank you for another awesome video! ❤️
Sounds like a cheat code to self control. Appreciate the information man.
Damn. You just blow it with every video I watch.
As you said it, we let our minds control us. Being truly aware on a deeper level is the only way to overcome it. The voice is your ego, which is a much broader term than people think. Everyone has this voice, and it very often goes into something bad because it loves to consume and identifiy itself with the things on the outside(sex, drugs, social media, money, status, etc.) so in the absence of your awareness where you just monitor your ego and thoughts.
Edit: okay, sorry, I wrote this comment before I saw the full video. Damn, this channel is something else. You got my respect and my subscription brother, because you're spreading the message.
I learned all of this from a book called "The Power of Now", but never did I think that someone is gonna make a YT channel and try to enlighten the youth.
I have two voices in my head, everyone does, one is good and wants to help you (I personally believe it's God) the other wants to harm you (the one you mentioned and the one I believe is the devil)
I intend to force the former to be the only one I listen to, as the other tells me I'm nothing, to just "fricking shut the heck up" that I'm nothing, that I'll always be fat and worthless, that I'll never have skill, that I'll always be on the back burner for everyone.
The former tells me to do the right thing, and it's time to listen to it.
How little our conscious mind actually give out instructions to our actions..
Indeed
Sorry to bring science into it but it's more than just a social issue (obviously through certain advancements it's caused an adverse effect needless to say) but rlly it's a science thing we can only exhibit 5% of consciousness in a day I.e we live 95% subconsciously however ppl with high self regulation/control live through 80% subconsciously and 20% consciously that's why you unconsciously walk out a room or in your words live out unconscious instructions
@@ukhtiiiojo9186 Thank you for your explanation, it's very interesting.
The Library Of Emotions ❤️❤️ np
Out of all the people who do analysis, you seem to be the most authentic and down to earth, with the best advice, you really live the way you say you do
Thank you!
I'm getting a handle on this and I'm feeling better each day. I was on a downward spiral, but I have managed to gather enough strength to pull the brakes. I'm glad I did. I now take small steps towards becoming the man I have always wanted to be. I know, sometimes it's all an act, but the way I see it, I have to fake it until I make it, if necessary.
this video helped me realize i have always been correct about not trusting the voice inside my head. i have to keep my head level minded so i dont hurt anyone.
Spot on vid..
This kinda reminds me of that vid by Better Ideas YT in which he says that whenever we wanna do some work like hitting the gym and stuff, a resistance occurs in our brain resisting us from doing that thing, suddenly we feel our feet getting heavy and we feel like we should lie on our bed and sleep for sometime and that's when we gotta recognise that resistance and go against it.. Another great thing he said was the reason we don't become the version of ourselves that we've always imagined because we overthink it, our lives are cut into 24 hours days including sleep time and if we wanna do something, then the best time is now, and it brought a ton of sense into me and helped me out of that victim mindset..
Keep up, Cole!! 🔥
Ur channel has to be the most underrated self help channel there is. Great work.
I relate a lot to you bro. I appreciate you sharing your perspective & how to get out of that toxic mindset. Gonna try this out!
how does he not have at least 1mil subs lmao cole is underrated af
Dude, I have so much self-control even my female friends are worried when I say I'm not searching for sex as primary goal after 1 year of lockdown
you reshaped my mind bro the amount of self improvemnt ive done in this year becuse of you and outher pepeol is insane thx you
You've said that you're 24, I think your wisdom says you've forgotten a couple of zeros there. The delivery, framing, descriptions, anecdotes, and everything that you create your content with is so on point it's almost as if my leanings are being parroted. I guess a bit of validation is always useful since we are human, but the fact that I could die in a few moments and I would do so happily knowing that there are wise individuals like yourself that is able to so beautifully be a beacon of light for those at sea to not end up running into shore, destroying the hull of their boat, having to set aside time and resources for repairs so that they can return to their travels across great distances of water.
As much as I don't like facing this reality, it's something that exist nonetheless. We can only be the roads, the lights, and other luxuries that allow us to travel to and fro. We must have faith in others that they've had the proper experiences in life that allow them to even have a license and find ourselves wherever the roads may take us, we have to have our own ability and vehicle to even take these paths. Regardless of this reality, it is still quite heartwarming and a relief that you're out their guiding young eager minds that are thirsty for understanding self. Thanks for all you do man! The world is significantly brighter with your presence.
Really appreciate the kind words my friend. Thank you
From my breakup to my procastination you have helped me alot thank you man
Of course
Yeah, Even now I can't stop doing this nasty things. Urges always attacks me and I'm easily to hop in and ended up doing it. I always think to stop doing this things but I always ended up failure. Hope In the next year I will comment again in this video free from my bad habits before. Let us both motivate us brothers . Let s pray together and one another .
June 21, 2022. Let's step out of our weaknesses .
Im also 24 but just looking at your channel, and what you've managed to do so far, you're 24 years ahead of me.
Cole,
Your video came at the perfect time no pun intended. I’ve been struggling with the negative self talk and will be using the meditation practice you suggested. Your really motivating me so much and giving me real tools to conquer the ego. Thank you for all you do 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I wanted to give an update from a friend whom I recommended this video. When the urge arises, going immediately to do other stuff helped them, and so did physical exercise. They told me they felt there was more to their life than polishing the spear.
"You are not your thoughs" is the click for a lot of people including me... Strange to think about it.
FR
i cant stop because im down bad and it works, for about 10 minutes
The b roll always slaps🙌
Love filming b roll
Bro is so under rated, with his video he should be at 1 million subs or more
Thanks bro
Be objective and rational.
That's an ability every human beings on planet earth should develop.
See pride in humble you'reself and Love being wrong because its correct you're mistakes and creates new possebilities.
Notification squad!! Let’s get it
The real ones
Mindfulness is truly underrated what you are saying is correct
Always glad to take time out of my day to watch Cole’s vids :D
Thank you so much
This actually helped man👍👍
Now I see myself like a third person doing all those activities that are ruining my health and confidence and I feel pity for me and that's the time when I decide I will not be doing it to me . Thanks 😊
I’m so happy I found you!!!!!!!!
Lsd has showed me im not my thoughts🤯
Quitting it did that, right?
Right? 👀
After my medical exam i am just giving myself time 5 days straight but thanks i really needed this because i cant stay like this i have more worls to do but hey man thanks its time to be productive
Coming home after working all day. Hanging out with my kids until they go to bed. And then it’s watching TV immediately. Instead of doing absolutely anything else that I want or should be doing. every single day and it’s almost impossible to pull myself away from the effing TV
Thanks for this man,
This came at the perfect time...
I am really struggling with my purpose and spritual journy,
So thank you for giving me motivation.
What I personally genuinly feel like is...when I chase this hype of NO FAP...trying to really disect the required mindset, reminding myself constantly of no fap...ends up working against me. If i instead simply don't house the thought of NO FAP, and instead substitute that energy for something that really drives u nuts motivated....it works
One of my favourite RUclips videos of all time it shows that you put in the work to create this
thank you man , you are literally changing me to the best version of myself . love and respect .
This video is so good, you’re great keep going !!!
One thing that can really help is realizing the true consequence of not making the change. I was able to quit vaping and klonopin (addictive anxiety med) during covid. I was afraid of the disease at first, but it was also about where my gf and I moved into a new house and my anxiety got so bad I tripled my dose for a while. I knew vaping would damage my lungs and nicotine made me more anxious, and for a while I was aware that the pills were out of self preservation and not a viable solution for the long term, so I weaned myself off to sustain myself. I actually thought it was impossible, but I accomplished that much.
This man keeps calling me out and
I'm finna pull up on him 😤
This is exactly what I needed to hear.
Hope it helped brother
Remember guys. Consistency. Work when you know you can. Overpower the thoughts that are telling you to do something. But this is just as important. Listen to your body and mind when you're absolutely stressed out. Know the difference between your mind saying let's chill and I'm actually exhausted. You'll know the difference if you've ever worked yourself to exhaustion. I worked on this music track from 4pm till 12 30am. Needless to say I couldn't go to sleep. I had panic attacks and mini seizures. My mood was absolutely trashed. And it still stuck with me all next day. So don't overwork yourself either
I was on 91 days and I relapsed 🥴 self control is so hard but I got this🙏🏾
Hi man, keep up whats matter is u get back on track as soon as possible. This relapsed doesn't defined ur next action don't let urself down. It's 1 in 91 days man. Fr congrats for makin it till day 91, don't count the days make the day counts, is one of my fav' quote & it simply means u relapsed this day n its ok take a step back n remind urself who u are n ur progress n remember ur whys, tmw is a new day. Don't be too focus on day streaks but look at ur improvement u did 91 days its progress but don't forget tmw isn't promised next time have a conversation w urself n ask: tmw isn't promised right? So imma make it till 12am bc i thrive to make the day count n today i aint gonna let it defeat me bc i'm more than this i deserve better. See ya, u can do it never give up keep tryin u got it.👐
When you're laying on your deathbed and your life flashes before your eyes, do you really want it to be a slideshow of corporate marketing plans throwing you around like a leaf in the wind? It's your responsibility as an individual to be uniquely YOU and do the things YOU want, not just to be a statistic on a few quarterly profit spreadsheets.
Build a life you envision, not a life you get advertised!