Boy, I saw this video title and I was bout to come in here and bbq yo bch *ss. Thinking you were some slop that was talkn sh*t about being dedicated to fitness. Ya lucky I decided to skim thru the vid first. But newsflash my boy....these xx's are not worth the time and effort. It's literally like digging thru the trash here in the USA. What country are you from? Now, if you're a playa who is just out to smash...then the USA is heaven for you. But if you don't fornicate.....then...you gonnhave it hard to find one that's worth a ring.
Nothing wrong if you are genuinely happy with that. It just becomes a problem when a lot of people are not truly fullfilled with just exercising, and deep down crave for meaningful connections even if they dont expect to get it. We should remember that people are different.
Well I think it depends on the person, I have a lot of free time myself which is usually open for gaming. Sometimes I get bored of a game within 10 minutes and move onto the next in a cycle. That applies more to social media tbf, especially Women.
But how? I love to work out for 3 hours straight, I used to do it when I was 14 all the way up to 18 but after I got a job I barely have time for myself now
What got me about the beginning was just how quiet it all is. I've grown accustomed to the silence: no one to call, talk to, wake up next to. Just another day in a series of days making up my life.
people now struggle to talk to strangers I think we have lost the ability to bond with strangers.we just talk but have no drive and ability to bond outside of our normal circle
It is all so bad though? Imagine you're a woman and a man is breathing his stinky breath on you the second your consciousness comes back online. Babies are screaming who need to be fed and kids are whining for their breakfast and to be taken to school or daycare. The bathroom looks like a bomb went off. You have only one unflattering shirt left to wear today for work. Then 2 hours of traffic because you can only afford to rent a condo 2 hours out of the city where the only decent jobs are. Then you gotta come home, kids are begging you to help them with homework, husband has been doing video games for the whole afternoon after sending out 100-200 LinkedIn and Indeed job applications with no response. Maybe he is jacking it to porn with headphones on and didn't see you come in the door. You just want a shower but there's dick and ass hair in the drains and old socks on the bathroom floor. Silence is golden.
The gym is the only place that likes me and accepts me, other people just don't care of me, so if I die in gym due to caffeine overdose, I'm happy with that
Go to a martial arts gym. Trust me. Especially BJJ. You might have to try a couple places but you will find the best people you will ever find out there.
@@lgmmrm ultimately people are a waste of time and energy. at most they are random activity partners. all you got in life is money and just maybe a good relationship with a family member or a friend, at most
The fuck is a gymcel man? I started off as a skinny guy trying to build muscle. As I grew bigger and stronger it became my daily habit and discipline. Who is coming up with these bs labels? To make us feel a guilt trap for doing a thing we enjoy and thats good for us. Why does everything has to revolve around dating nowdays?
I’ve been in the “gym” industry for over a decade. When young guys ask me how to get bigger, what it takes etc. I tell them not to be a loser. Miss workouts, miss meals, have a life. You only need to lift 3x/week for 30-60 mins to look as good as you could ever dream. Go 5 days/week if you love it but for goodness sake, the gym needs to enhance your life, not be your life. It’s not like a sport, or even a goofy sport like CrissFit. It can be your little refuge, or your anchor. But unless you’re trying to walk across a stage, it should never be your life.
That’s good advice man. I’ve quit so many times before because the stress I was putting on myself was driving me crazy. Now I just dance a lot to good ol’ funky music and lift a little at home and I’m feeling way better than before :).
I was a big people person growing up and was very talkative with many different groups of people, but now that I'm 35, trust me, it's overrated. Sometimes, being alone and just chatting on social media from time to time is better than being around people who are full of crap. I'm at that point where I just care about improving myself for myself.
I literally lost all 4 of my friends this past year. One by one they all turned against me thanks to one person lying about me. Now i really know what true loneliness feels like.
I feel you brother going through the same thing with my roommate. Unfortunately it’s just a part of life and people who you loved just change for the worse.
Those werent real friends then, anyways find a church or a mosuqe and consistently go to it, reach out to catch up with old buddies at a third place, dont look desperate, get closer with family etc.. and find a hobby and passion, start with drawing or music
you should not trust anyone in the adult world. anyone can scam or con or backbite you at any point. this includes family members or your OWN WIFE! i have seen it. watch your back
damn bro lol so how come dudes just don't talk to other dudes, if god gave me one gift is the gift of blab lol i'll talk to anyone, except kids for obvious reasons. Just yesterday i spent 2 hours chatting with boomers they asked me to hang out i was like yea sure, i'll come by again lol if you want my honest opinion, people in the west are terrified of each other, i don't know if it's the movies, all these murder shows, i don't know what it is but please cut it out. Our species NEEDS connections, even if it's for 15 mins a day so just making small talk with a random stranger is fine. For me i like longer chats about real sh*t, that's hwo i charge up my batteries. Also i noticed you young guys don't even make eye contact anymore. So, it isn't about some third place like this video suggests, it is fear about one another, that has to stop.
Sometimes I feel like the best way to cope with being lonely when you are alone is to reframe your loneliness as solitude but even then I know that can only go so far before the necessity for connection, so while solitude is a good thing, especially for introverts, you can never truly be your best self without a supportive network of people, and that takes work to maintain. I am admittedly not the best at reaching out to my friends or being the first to make plans but I really appreciate them.
My son (11) was becoming a loner with very few friends (maybe a reflection of myself). After watching the world cup (soccer) he wanted to join a team and I signed him up for a recreational league and it has transformed his life. He has so many friends now, it has been like day and night. Even I have become friends with the other Dads and started socializing outside of just the soccer games.
Building community. That's the path forward!! I'm glad that he has parents like you who are supportive. I wasn't that lucky and I was more of a loner during my life. I only was able to build a community as an adult after reading a lot about it
Been a gymrat for years now. 6 days at the gym for hours & one day running at the trails. At the gym on holidays, birthdays, etc - it doesn't matter. No friends, no GF...no nothing - a true lone wolf. Being short, unattractive, going bald doesn't help matters either. Society puts such a premium on height & looks these days (primarily because of social media & dating apps). It's a very lonely lifestyle when you live in the gym & have no GF. 😞 But I guess it beats drinking myself silly at a bar everynight.
@@brokenhanz-o4m Society nowadays pushes people to overfocus on looks but it's not so healthy for males. Research shows males need career focus, male friends, for hanging out, competiton, problem solving and such. And that they need friends of both sexes to get jobs and to find dates, so being a loner at gym does a male a great disservice in a long run. May help in short term- boost fitness and self-confidence but in a long run it takes up a lot of time that one will never get back and which should have been spend on creating various more or less lose social networks. So males attending gym should at least try to make friends with other people from their gym. Preferably of both sexes.
Bro the fact our generation started to realise whats wrong with the world and decided to do something about it and get into a good shape and improve ourselves doesnt mean u have to attach an insulting label to us
This video has very little to do with the gym and much more to do with the rise of male loneliness. Gymcels is a made up concept that’s trendy right now. Going to the gym is a fantastic idea
If you mean "our generation" as Gen Z then the way you got upset in how someone described the issue means what everyone says about y'all being soft, useless, or crybabies matches. You're upset about being called an "insulting label" when there is so much worse out there kid lol. Grow up.
@@infini.tesimo This doesn't help at all. If you are making a point don't insult just makes what you are saying weak. The state of the modern is much at fault for this issue it isn't an individual problem where men are "soft, uselss or crybabies" instead recognising the issue and making a change is a much better use of our time.
"Gymcels" You just can't fucking win. Even if you push yourself to become better, overcome your problems and pursue self development, you will still get labelled with slurs by internet commentators.
Gymcels are the people who aren't pushing themselves to become better, those who's only productive activity is going to the gym. It's not so hard to go to the gym and make it a habit, once you do it enough times it becomes your comfort zone. While going to the gym may be uncomfortable, socializing and going out of your way to make friends is actually scary, having to deal with the pain of rejection or embarrassment. However having the courage to overcome that fear is what truly pushes yourself to become better and step out of your comfort zone. No amount of gym sessions, cold showers, meditation is going to help because those things eventually become easy.
You can't win! If you talk to a girl, you are a "creeper", or "thirsty", if you don't get dates you are an incel, if you do your own thing and stay away from women (i.e. MGTOW) you are a misogynist. This fucked up society has made it impossible for heterosexual men to live in comfort. And it's only on America. Go to Europe you see women aren't fat and tattooed socializing, dancing and having a good time and men you are in shape and literate living wonderful lives. And do you know why? Because there is no cooperate America to poison the food, rewrite the history, and destroy the nature and culture!
It's not just the west, it's the same in Asia. Work, workout, elder care, self learning some shit is what I've been doing everyday for the past years. Don't even know where you can make genuine friends now. Hope this won't become an echo chamber.
Damn. They really out here attacking us just for going to the gym while being single now. 😂 Like I just wanna lift in peace without having to worry about being accused by female "influencers" or having these derogatory labels attached.🤦♂️
Ironically some of the most unhealthy (mentally and physically) and most lonely people are those who are around other people all the time, partying and drinking and socializing like there's no tomorrow, with loads of friends doing the same thing.
Guys remember being a gymcel or whatever they're calling it nowadays is better then being fat and playing video games which video games is okay in moderate doses if you making money doing it thats different. I have made so many bonds at the gym. Plus if you're fit more likely women will want to talk to you.
Getting into shape will make girls check you out and respond positively when you approach them, but it's no guarantee that they'll actually be interested in you. And trust me, it's much less depressing to get nothing but rejection when you're out of shape than it is to get nothing but rejection when you're in great shape.
@@nomadic8000 height and face are more important when it comes to women. Muscles enhance your looks but if you don’t have the height and face to begin with then no amount of muscles and peak physique will help you
On the flip side, there are people like me who started as gymcels, but would later realize the gym saved my social life. 2020-2022 I’d barely talk to anyone being I had been out of highschool and Covid had me doing college online while I worked my retail job in a cooler away from most people. I’d clock out and head to the gym late at night and not say a word to anyone. Fast forward to today and I just went out with 6 of my friends to get wings after the gym and we had a blast. It sounds hard, but I swear you’d be surprised the friendships you can make from something as simple as spotting some random person or complementing them!!
@@ColeHastings and a lot of that is thanks to you bro :) I’ll never forget binging your videos as I’d mope around work around 2022ish when I was at my lowest. You’re a legend bro :)
Honestly this comment right here. Before getting back into the gym I felt lost and that I would never find myself again. The second half of 2022 through the majority of 2023 was the worst period of my life hands down. Ex tried to ruin everything including driving me to un-alive myself. With the gym it became the foundation to finding myself again. As that started to show results I started hanging out with my old friend from college who I had lost touch with. Now not only has he become my closest friend but the combination of his support and also finding my own confidence through forging it in the gym, I’ve met so many new people that I now call my friends and to boot, I’m in the best shape of my life. 275 down to 213 and there’s still more to do and I cannot wait to get after it.
@andrewscocozza4340 you’re also so right that when you’re out and about now it’s easier to give compliments to people and even if they don’t accept it and brush it off oh well we move on and keep smiling. Cause we made it to where we want to be and earned every bit of it through hard work and consistency.
I was a gymcel after my divorce at the age of 40. Didn't expect anything. Just wanted to improve my bench max. Then I met a lady at the gym. Have been married for over 23 years. One daughter graduating from college this year. Still go to the gym regularly. Listen to audio books while I workout. Hardly talk to anyone
This is sad. If you feel this way I’m so very sorry. But remember when at the gym or wherever a simple smile and hi go a long way. I see way too many disconnected in the gym socially. Headphones in, hoodies on, and no comradery. It’s weird seeing the difference between the old iron gym Arnold videos compared to influencers of today. In Arnold’s the guys are slapping five and encouraging each other and shooting the breeze. I guess social media has put us all in this weird social competition that just leaves us so empty. All I can do is pray for a better future. Wish you all well!
That's because men are really starting to hate each other now and don't really want to see each other improve. I've noticed a huge change just over the last 10 years. I think it's because the competition and pressure has increased to become something different to these modern women that cannot be pleased. The irony is that even though we all try to stand out by improving ourselves, we ultimately all become extremely similar.
This is because in those days gyms were dominated by men who then found camaraderie from that . Now gyms have a lot of women and they use it to get attention from men hence the social disconnection. Most guys can't bond anymore because of female presence and most women are addicted to going to the gym scantly dressed for male attention
I have friends who have A.I. Girlfriends now. Think that will be most people's future now. Population collapse is really happening now. Also in Japan ladies are marrying themselves, just saddening . The loneliness epidemic is worsening.
I miss my mom 😭, the only female who showed me genuine love. I think of her when I work out. She cheered me on in any area of development I pursued and was proud of my aesthetic physique so after 2 decades of inactivity (marriage) I'm back to grind and fulfill my genetic potential.
Your videos are really good stuff Cole. I often read a lot of commenters clinging to 'solitude' and isolation as a defense mechanism for videos like this. You'll see a pattern where its often the world that's bad, or people who suck, a lot of negative self deception to place the blame on others instead of making a healthy change. The problem is that a mind in chronic isolation begins deceiving itself into believing its comforted when in reality its just afraid of venturing out into the world. Solitude is a breath, but loneliness is suffocation, one the suffering mind puts on itself. I just hope people out there can know the difference when they see it.
I’ve been lifting in a basement, garage, and now in my backyard under a tarp for almost 20 years now. Listen to either heavy metal or rap. I got three jobs, play video games. Haven’t made any friends since I’ve moved to Florida . Go months to years without any female contact , been single for almost 13 years. I just don’t trust people anymore , every once in a while I try doing stuff with people and just regret it within an hour or two
brutal 20 years with gym and you live like that i just started last month also same here with regret thing i hang with friends when im drunk and they all have gfs embarrassing but its better than being alone? maybe i regret drinking too the next day but i got to i only drink every week but if i had money id be full time alcoholic and games dont really do it for me anymore knowing my predicament living with my family i knew this time would come but i didnt know it would be this bad
Yup, there was always a feeling of dread afterwards, couple that with social anxiety during some of my earlier days (even on the phone). Now that I'm in my 30s I'm more eloquent at least so when someone annoys me (mainly my mom) I can fight back with words accordingly. That's one of the things I'd regret if I was a younger again.
As a current mental health therapist and a fellow gym bro. I find this video incredibly refreshing. I’ve seen other RUclipsrs discuss the “third place” but you’re the first to include the gym bro’s experience. Having balance is key; after the work and the gym I recommend people put themselves in in depth social situations at least 2 to 3 times a week. Even if it’s on the weekends.
going to the gym is a good thing. But the problem is when going to the gym is your only thing. Obviously alot of this guys go to the gym as a way to cope with their inability to get women
@@thescarecrow897 I would rather them do that then hard drugs or petty crime. What other people do is none of my business unless they are hurting someone.
no one is saying it isn't, everyone exercises, brushes their teeth, eats vegetables etc i think it's talking about incels thinking that somehow going to the gym will make up for other areas of their lives
Not all who are alone are do due to social rejection. Some are because they chose to be for valid reasons. I have my reasons as to why I abandoned society and nearly live like a hermit with no desire to rejoin society. As for the gym, for me it's therapeutic and I do it for myself, not to attract anyone. People like you are quick to throw labels and use the "We're social animals" line while forgetting we're also capable of adaptation. Meaning one can easily adapt to a life of solitude without the negative effects preached by social butterflies.
excellent. Every guy turning away from this completely broken society and focusing on his own development is a seed of hope for something much better to come.
This label applies to people who actively go to the gym to seek social validation in the form of finding friends or a romantic partner, it doesn't apply to people who work out and mind their own business
@@paolowerewolf0186most people aren’t single due to their face. They are single due to their undeveloped social skills and lack of outgoing activity. “Bro I work, go to the gym, and then go home to watch Netflix while hardly ever speaking to anyone. Why can’t I meet any women?”
@@badart3204 Because you guys just box yourselves in. Like going to the gym is great you will not be obese and it is a good outlet. But people seem to only do it our of spite.
going to the gym over the years has become a habit for me. Nothing beats the feeling of euphoria after a hard training session. With that said, back in the old days people hang out and shoot the shits while working out at the gym; nowadays, everyone is wrapped into their headphones and act completely antisocial
Not outside office hours per se, but you’re 100% right when you say you can’t replace face to face interactions with good people. Recently my job went from working fully remote to being in the office 3 days a week, and I’ve always liked everyone I work with at this job, but with being around my coworkers and having lunch with them every day and chatting in between meetings I’ve definitely noticed a major spike in good mood during the week and my job itself has actually felt way more fulfilling lately.
Cole, I've watched your content on and off for years and this is one of those rare videos I actually felt the need to watch through to the end. Allow me to offer an alternative perspective to your "what's wrong with this" premise. I'm 34, I work in the fitness industry and after work I go and train Muay Thai for two hours a night 4 nights a week in classes and usually have another 30 minutes to an hour on the speed bag and heavy bag working timing to music. I've been in gyms since middle school; I got serious about working out after my first engagement fell apart and I survived a suicide attempt at 23, and have been doing either heavy weight workouts or training martial arts since. In 2018 my second engagement fell apart and I lost all motivation to live and get better. I lost myself, I lost my purpose, I lost a life that I had been building for 3 years with the woman I was planning on spending the rest of my life with, and I lost hope completely. I moved 120 miles away and rented rooms for the next year moving every couple months and changing jobs just as often. By December of 2018 I decided I was going to take up boxing because if I was going to beat myself up mentally I should at least get my ass beat physically. At this point I'd been in the gym for 14 years on and off, it had never been a social place for me, in fact I always felt like an absolute retard for asking anyone anything including for a spot. So I just put headphones in and do my work. Obviously with boxing training you can't just isolate and work, you're always with a partner or you're always listening to a coach, or you're listening to someone. What I found was that even though I had to take the headphones out and I was eventually accepted as part of the gym community, there was never any deeper connection than "hey we both go to the same gym". There were plenty of people that did have close friendships at the gym but most of them were younger and that friendship came from a place of partying and college culture with my gym being in a major college town with a world renowned college culture, and I was older [28 at the time]. Even though I was training with all these younger guys that had been going there for longer than me, I was advancing in the sport much faster than they had or would. My advantage is that while I was training I was getting to the gym an hour before class, training by myself, going to class for an hour, then staying for an hour or two after class to train more. I did this 6 days a week even if there wasn't a class for me to take. I'd show up and jump between the speed bag, double end bag, and heavy bag going as hard as I could for as long as I could without breaks aside from a couple seconds here and there for water. I became well respected within the gym and even got to know some of our world class pros as a rising prospect. A person that is healthy and trying to be somewhere to socialize won't train the way that I did; the way that I do now. They can't. The pain and fatigue they'll experience will absolutely shut them down. But because I hate myself and I feel like I deserve the pain, I am able to train through just about everything. In the beginning I said I work in the fitness industry, well it's not exactly what you think; I don't do personal training or fitness consultation or anything, I install gyms and equipment. I move thousands of pounds of weight every single day on the low end for service, test every single machine at max weight, and on my hard days I'm working for 10 hours dragging shit across puzzle piece rubber flooring and resetting the flooring when I'm done. I then go and work myself to the point where I'm barely conscious on the drive home and get home and make a steak so I can get up tomorrow and do it again. I'm a single man, I wouldn't exactly call myself an incel because I have gotten laid and I could get laid if I went out to bars and actually tried, but I do technically fall under the gymcel umbrella. I work, I train, I go home and watch a few episodes of One Piece while making and eating dinner while also watching youtube videos about psychology, sociology, and the collapse of western civilization. I tell you all of this just to get to this point, gymcels aren't gymcels because they have no other choice; they don't go to the gym and work themselves to extreme lengths because it's the only option they have, they don't do it for the admiration of others, the communities of those places they go, or because they think it's going to get them chicks. Gymcels do what they do because deep down they know that in a world where every other success in life relies on the variable of another human to choose you for the opportunity to gain success, the gym is a place where you can go and no matter what your definition of success is, as long as you work towards it every single day, you can achieve it. In 2013 I went from suicidal and unable to keep food down with a squat that was barely 90lbs with proper form to repping 405 as a warm up weight with mid set being 455 and top set being over 500 in right about a year. In 2019 I went from 0 experience in boxing to regularly beating competing amateur boxers in sparring. Now I'm in the early stages of Muay Thai and I may never be "good" at it because I'm probably too old, but I'm better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I'll be better than I am today. The gym is the only place in most men's lives that we can go and truly see improvement day by day. It helps if you're keeping track through notes or in an app, but if you can look back at your last arms session and see an increase of 5lbs over your last session on a lift it helps you see potential; on a long enough timeline you will eventually decide to look back a month or 6 months and see that you're up 100lbs on a lift but because you see the growth like you see the grass grow or the paint dry, you never realized that you made that progress. You'll never be able to rely on another person to get the feeling that this experience brings. You'll never be able to experience the feeling of someone asking you how you got so good at boxing while you still think you suck and it opens the door for you to be kind to yourself and pat yourself on the back for once because someone is trying to make you feel good. Men need isolation, they need to be given the opportunity to track measurable growth, they need to be lonely. All of these things we, as a society, tend to assign a pathetic and negative connotation to but these are the actions taken by truly strong men that have never been given the responsibility to show how strong they are. I don't see gymcels as people that need to find healthier outlets or socializations or anything, I see them as men that, if things do actually collapse as appears to be imminent, will be able to stand up and find a way to help lead people toward rebuilding. Sorry for the long comment, but this is an area I've spent a lot of my life, both in the gym and in my head.
I agree on the men need the solitude phase to blossom, but this is only if they were lazy like me (still in it) But I dont agree it should be a life quality beyond a phase, you need friends family and spouses. Aspirations outside of body work, also go to a church or a mosque make it consistent, look back on yourlife do you have a portfolio to be proud about (im 20)
@@IIIISai I hope it never happens to you but for many there comes a time where you’re just waiting to die, or spending your days wishing you didn’t survive.
Love the video. You do so many things at once. Comedic relief, cinematography, social commentary, adding your unique experience, and most importantly pragmatic optimism. Thanks for the work you do and I look forward to changing the world alongside you even though it's unlikely I'll ever meet you.
I would rather be completely alone than share my energy w the wrong people. I think loneliness should be embraced and it will actually help you think about things that are deeper in nature and not the artificial that most are focused on. I speak to people when I feel like it and if I am drawn to them, otherwise I often regret, if I speak to the wrong person. Also, I am a RUclipsr too and I try to be vulnerable not bc I want to make a profit but because I know by being honest, I help set people free.
Yeah it's perfectly fine for men who are living in a very sick society to pull back and preserve themselves and gather their strength for when things start crumbling for real. This is a normal response and in a few years we will need the men who have been living in solitude and not letting this world twist them.
Just let things happen naturally, it’s the way of life, no one needs to go out to meet people, also, fuck everything everyone says, advice is not good these days, just be you and don’t frickin give in to these a holes who are trying to profit off all you. Just be yourself
@@JackTheCool115 this advice was exactly what I got when I was younger and frustrated with being a loner and now I am 30 and still a loner. Good things do not happen naturally unless you already have accumulated enough social capital for the Matthew effect to do all the work for you.
@@redditor7548 well then play the social capital game. It seems like a really poor moral choice. But because of the society we live in, we’re forced to play this game of who’s more popular.
11:42 I like this clip over here. An open Computer overlooking the outside. By the window with blinds and it's going dark for the evening reminding someone that the day will end again by them not working on something. That was my life from high school to college at summer break.
Dang, just reading the thumbnail makes me feel sad. I totally get this. Looking forward to watching it. I have a few friends, but the gym is my place of refuge and solace. I usually go late at night when I don't have to wait on machines/equipment and it is very peaceful with
A great third place is a dance class even if you don’t see yourself as a dancer. 3-6 months joining a salsa class got my foot in the door is so many places. Met so many people
I feel it's important to point out too that surrounding yourself with others simply for the sake of being social is also not the way to go. I believed this all throughout my teens and 20's, and looking back I realize that some memories and experiences left me worse off than loneliness itself. A feeling worse than loneliness can also be the feeling of dejection when you're surrounded by others. Make sure the friends you make are ones that you truly connect with, and if they aren't, then it's better to be alone. Don't maintain "friendships" where you feel left out, brought down, or heavily mistreated. True friends mess around with each other, fight, and bicker true; but most importantly they build each other up. Too many people maintain unhealthy relationships with others simply because they're afraid of being alone, and that brings them down in many other areas in life.
12:45 that moment. This hit home, so hard. I’ve felt this so much of my life. Thank you for this video. This is the wake up call many of us, including myself, needed
Just watched the intro and laughed all the way through it. Bro just described my life. And he knows what I’m going to say. Not gonna lie, I’m a little spooked.
I was a big time loner for 9 years but this year I'm wanting to change that. I've been going to events now and feel so out of place. I think I'm going to get rid of my introverted shell for good.
Honestly I don't agree with the concept behind the video at all. I lift 4-6 times a week and run 4 times a week. I'm spending an hour to an hour and a half exercising maybe 10 times each week. I have a girlfriend but before meeting her I lived a very isolated/ lonely life, and would again if we broke up. And I'm totally cool with that. Exercising makes me really, really happy. Socializing usually doesn't. Through my early twenties I spent a decent chunk of time at parties and bars, and what many people don't realize is that the conversations you have in these settings are pretty shallow and tend to be based around a handful of topics that have been discussed to death. Political discussion has ZERO nuance or depth and if you aren't a hard liner for or against one party you usually can't find much middle ground on anything. Most people are pretty boring, because as you said, they spend a ton of time on social media doom scrolling. I'm good on that lol
I don't think putting labels like that is gonna help anybody. Better be a gymrat than a home-stuck incel. Seriously, our obsession with putting labels on each other needs to stop
Labels is tribalism and strawmans, meaning that it's not a full picture and just someone's flawed perspective. You're right, Labeling helps no one and causes more harm than good
Heck forget third place, for those of us that work from home full time we don't even have a second place. I in part use the gym as a means to get myself out of my apartment. Yeah, meeting people is rough these days and contrary to a lot of what many self improvement gurus seem to say, we can't just spend our adulthood quietly grinding constantly.
@@ColeHastings Agreed. The world has changed a lot in the last 10 years and I think many of us are trying to figure out how to navigate it. I have a lot of things to be thankful for and I think there are a lot of people that are experiencing loneliness worse than me. Heck even a year and a half ago, I wasn't even going to the gym; I just stayed home all the time outside of grocery shopping. Going to the gym has helped a lot, both in terms of generating happiness hormones and in terms of being more comfortable going out and being around people. I'm not sure what my next step is, but I'm trying my best not to stand still
I can feel exactly all the emotions this guy is going through in the video and actually cancelled my gym membership since nobody speaks to me at the gym.
Fellas, don't ostracise yourself. It's so easy when people have ostracised you from the start. It's one hell of a rock bottom to be stuck in. Strive to gain one friend, at least one for sanity's sake. Working on being less closed off at nearly 30 and it's hard. It will only get harder the older you get. You will cripple yourself socially in increasing amount and become _off_ on a fundamental level.
we all cope in are own way some cope with the gym, other anime, but what we all have in common is that we are simply priced out of the market. like everything, love comes with a price and if you can't pay it you will be alone as man welcome to the bitter sweet world
Why do you presume you are priced out if the market? In thinking that way, you are ruining your own potential, stopping yourself from trying to build without even trying. And then you use the lack of results to convince yourself that you have no chance because you are priced out anyway.
I swear to you bro, there are ugly dudes working at wendys pulling baddies left and right in this world. Be confidence and comfortable in your skin(I know its a hard ask in the current state of the world).
600 B.C - Spartan warriors.Ancient Greece was a culture that highly prized fitness, strength, and physical beauty to an even higher degree than education at times. Greek citizens spent a great deal of time in the gymnasium. They would exercise or partake in athletic games to sculpt their bodies to the desired level. 2024 I SEE A PROBLEM HERE!
What most people don't understand is that all this separation, isolation and alienation are a part of a very strategic social engineering. It's not something that happened randomly(even though some aspect could be an unexpected side effect), it's all has a purpose, like depopulation, control. It might sound crazy, but humanity never lived in a free world - there's always someone at the wheel of manipulation.
I remember watching your channel consistently years ago. I fell off the self improvement videos (just started getting after it) but stumbled upon your channel again. Your editing/filming has improved greatly
Okay, I'm definitely not as extreme as your intro skit, but I have been down similarly bad before. This video still inspires me to go out there and make plans because life isn't just about the "sigma grindset" and you need some connection with real people to be sustainably mentally healthy.
@@trvpyn You might be. Doesn't mean everyone is. I'm sure people who go to the gym to better themselves feel good about themselves but many guys who are not even interested in going there feel like they HAVE to because so many others do. I don't think that's a good way to happiness. I personally find going to gym so fucking boring that I prefer other ways to excercise. Climbing and running is actually fun. I don't find going to gym fun at all
@@dyykkarifin2454 exercise is the best possible thing you can do for your mental health. not everyone in the gym is happy,. but the alternative is way worse
Going to the gym isn’t the issue. Making it your entire life and personality is. People don’t know balance anymore. It’s either all work, all gym or all rot in their room. None of which is sustainable.
I love being alone, and as little human contact as possible Where I live, it is better for me to be alone because communicating with them will put me in a big problem
Facts. The days I work, well, I need to make human interactions because I need to pay my bills. The days I'm off I go to the gym, take long walks, go to coffee ☕️ shops, watch the sunset. I literally talk to a couple of girls at the grocery store I shop at. Quite frankly, that's the only interactions I need at times.
Entire video's advice in one sentence: "Go out and talk to people without smelling or looking bad." I feel like Cole has not experienced the average male dilemma. I'd bet most men, pre-Gymcel life, had extensive in-real-life friend groups but were unexpectedly sidelined as if being pushed out of a plane and luckily some of them were already wearing a parachute. The number 1 killer of men in the United States is suicide and if working on their body gives them meaning in a world that refuses to help men and they are not going into drugs/alcohol/porn, then I see nothing wrong with this. It is true that it is up to a person to seek out social relationships, but to simplify and even dumb down that process without thinking about the cultural and social consequences men struggle with is wild.
I'm 48 with two kids and I wife. What's crazy is that I feel OK when I'm alone and do my hobbies by myself, but I do like spending time with my family. It's probably because of my age, but I have never had a whole bunch of friends honestly. 😅
Being lonely isnt for everyone. I get it. Your just weak but the same could be said about being social. To each their own. What i dont like is being told to go out and socialize. That its good for you. I also wanted to add that i liked your intro. Many men dream of having their own family. I know i do but with the western women and their current nature. I can only keep dreaming on.
After my wife broke up with me last year, the only thing I have in life, besides working and sleeping, is going to the gym. I have no friends left, and I realized my whole social life existed within my marriage / relationship. However, it bothered me some time, but I don’t care anymore. I just focus on myself now, don’t care that much about what others think and just lift heavy and work hard. It‘s ok.
This is the result of telling lonely men that *they* are completely at fault for their loneliness. And that the only solution is an endless, sisyphean cycle of self improvement. That they aren't good enough for a relationship or happiness.
The problem isn't just people going to the gym. Gym is amazing, can provide an amazing and better mental health, and on top of that, if done correctly which isn't too hard, can make you achieve your dream bod. The problem comes when people just make it their entire personality. It happens a lot to people who were rejected socially. There was this guy, a real 4sshole, insecure, mythomaniac, manipulative, superiority complex, well you know the song. I can't believe I hang out with this dude for 4 years. One day, he got rejected, which wasn't a damn surprise. And there he began becoming soooo irritable. He went on this cringe ahh "villain arc", and changed his pfps everywhere to a goofy 144p screenshot of Darth Vader, unironically. ... He became so irritable and even worse each day that I just removed him and his toxic influence from my life, and guess what, my life has never been any better. I think that Cole, this video's creator, didn't really address the subject really well. The real problems are those people who make the gym their entire life, and who think that the gym will make every woman come to them like a magnet or something, when the real problems lies inside of themselves. Other than that, the gym is wonderful^^
That's my life, I'm 23, even I'm more an introvert, I need some social contact outside of my family. Here in european countries we are facing the same problems. The majority of people of my age are on thier phones in the presence of thier friends, even when I do a little jogging through the park. Is rare to see someone without it who us in his 20's. My mom is 61, who has a phone and social media. When she interacts with a stranger about her age they get easily into small talk, they speak about really simple topics about thier life experiences, family and opinions. I think it has something to do with generation, when my mother was 23, she didn't had a phone and all the internet in her hand 24/7. That doesn't mean that everyone of her generation make easily friends, but it's something that I see often, compared to me.
As a spiritual person I feel just as alone most of the time, gym or no gym. Normal light convos drain my energy real fast unless it's about stuff I'm interested in. Rn it's pokemon games, but my interests are always changing. I have a friend who brings out my lighter side, but that only gets me so far.
"Bro just described my life with that intro…" Yes! It's been my life for over a decade now. And you portrayed it so accurately that at some point I began to wonder if someone had a bunch of cameras following me around 🧐 The "watching RUclips on my laptop in the kitchen while preparing my meal" part, the gym, the anime, the PC games in the evening… Pretty much everything was exactly the same. My cope is that it could be worse: At least I'm taking care of my body instead of destroying it with drugs or junk food. Now, it's easy for many people to blame men for this situation. I know the video is not specifically about meeting women, but meeting women is the number one thing that will drive men to put themselves out there, and the fact of the matter is, it has become de facto *impossible* to meet women these days. We have been excluded from the market. - You can't approach women in public anymore, like the cute cashier at the grocery store or the girl at the bookstore (do those still even exist?), without being labeled a "creep" or being accused of harassment. - Women don't hang out in bars or "third places" in general anymore; they're all sitting on their couches and browsing social media on their phones, having hundreds of simps liking their Instagram posts and ordering them food. Seriously, just hit any bar on a Friday night - it's all single and divorced men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s getting wasted. - Dating apps are a scam (and have been so for over a decade) - it's all bots, Instagram/OF "models" fishing for followers, and overweight single moms looking for some succer to bail them out. - Other activities like hiking, cycling or social work are mostly other desperate lonely men who had the same idea as you ("I'll join a hobby and maybe I'll get to meet a girl"). - Churches are mostly old people now, and the very few younger women there are already taken. - Public squares are mostly crackheads milling around now.
I'm elder and dont feel like that. 5 years ago, when discovered redpill, I put focus onmyself only. Found good job, making money and this is it. For avg guy solution is making good money, with that you have more things to do. My advice to bottom 80% is... try to make good money, education etc. Later ideas will come... I gave up on girls, as Im not model type, so dont want to be simp, walking atm either... There is more things to do, enjoying walks in the park everyday etc...
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks for watching.
Use COLE to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3wFErhF
i think they sent you the perfumes because you smell
They looked at me and said, “this guy definitely reeks.”
@@ColeHastings im not suprised i can smell you through the screen
I'm buying
Boy, I saw this video title and I was bout to come in here and bbq yo bch *ss. Thinking you were some slop that was talkn sh*t about being dedicated to fitness.
Ya lucky I decided to skim thru the vid first.
But newsflash my boy....these xx's are not worth the time and effort. It's literally like digging thru the trash here in the USA. What country are you from? Now, if you're a playa who is just out to smash...then the USA is heaven for you. But if you don't fornicate.....then...you gonnhave it hard to find one that's worth a ring.
And all I wanted was to lift weights in peace. Now I got a label attached to me.
Hahah
Losers are just mad we don’t want to be there friends
Nothing wrong if you are genuinely happy with that. It just becomes a problem when a lot of people are not truly fullfilled with just exercising, and deep down crave for meaningful connections even if they dont expect to get it. We should remember that people are different.
@@zakosist who cares this world sucks you trying to protect a soulless society
Just don’t make the gym your only personality trait
a lot of our generation’s problems come from infinite access to entertainment, nobody gets truly bored anymore
Well I think it depends on the person, I have a lot of free time myself which is usually open for gaming.
Sometimes I get bored of a game within 10 minutes and move onto the next in a cycle.
That applies more to social media tbf, especially Women.
Maybe it's the inverse. We get bored so fast we constantly find something to fill that void before it becomes painfully apparent
@@devonforsure260for sure, I agree with your comment.
True our parents did not have that many entertainments therefore they could achieve more and earlier in life and save more money
I bet some old fart said this 2000 years ago already.
Bro just described my life with that intro
🤣
But how? I love to work out for 3 hours straight, I used to do it when I was 14 all the way up to 18 but after I got a job I barely have time for myself now
True but my PC broke, cant game now.
How did you fucking know!?
Exactly.. I guess there’s a lot of us doing the same things trying to find meaning.
What got me about the beginning was just how quiet it all is. I've grown accustomed to the silence: no one to call, talk to, wake up next to. Just another day in a series of days making up my life.
Yes
people now struggle to talk to strangers I think we have lost the ability to bond with strangers.we just talk but have no drive and ability to bond outside of our normal circle
@@samuelisaacs7557 I still dont understand why People really need to bond with everyone and cant be happy on there own.
It is all so bad though? Imagine you're a woman and a man is breathing his stinky breath on you the second your consciousness comes back online. Babies are screaming who need to be fed and kids are whining for their breakfast and to be taken to school or daycare. The bathroom looks like a bomb went off. You have only one unflattering shirt left to wear today for work. Then 2 hours of traffic because you can only afford to rent a condo 2 hours out of the city where the only decent jobs are. Then you gotta come home, kids are begging you to help them with homework, husband has been doing video games for the whole afternoon after sending out 100-200 LinkedIn and Indeed job applications with no response. Maybe he is jacking it to porn with headphones on and didn't see you come in the door. You just want a shower but there's dick and ass hair in the drains and old socks on the bathroom floor. Silence is golden.
Sounds like bliss. I love the peace and quiet.
The gym is the only place that likes me and accepts me, other people just don't care of me, so if I die in gym due to caffeine overdose, I'm happy with that
ok
Go to a martial arts gym. Trust me. Especially BJJ. You might have to try a couple places but you will find the best people you will ever find out there.
@@lgmmrm ultimately people are a waste of time and energy. at most they are random activity partners. all you got in life is money and just maybe a good relationship with a family member or a friend, at most
You should seek help, these kind of thoughts are not normal neither healthy buddy
I'm watching all your playlists@DONTwatchmyplaylist
The fuck is a gymcel man? I started off as a skinny guy trying to build muscle. As I grew bigger and stronger it became my daily habit and discipline. Who is coming up with these bs labels? To make us feel a guilt trap for doing a thing we enjoy and thats good for us.
Why does everything has to revolve around dating nowdays?
it's a term defeatist bp losers use to mock and discourage other people from self improving
You are fighting ghosts
You are fighting@@IIIISai
we know who's coming up with these male shaming names and labels.
Weirdo Gen Z males are the ones coming up with labels for everything. They like to sensationalize everything for views.
Goggins, Ferris, gym, then Vinland Saga? Okay I feel personally attacked by this intro
😂
There’s nothing wrong with it.
Bro how did he know wtf??? xD
ITS MEEEEEEEE
keep going man this video is idiotic
I’ve been in the “gym” industry for over a decade. When young guys ask me how to get bigger, what it takes etc. I tell them not to be a loser. Miss workouts, miss meals, have a life. You only need to lift 3x/week for 30-60 mins to look as good as you could ever dream. Go 5 days/week if you love it but for goodness sake, the gym needs to enhance your life, not be your life. It’s not like a sport, or even a goofy sport like CrissFit. It can be your little refuge, or your anchor. But unless you’re trying to walk across a stage, it should never be your life.
That’s good advice man. I’ve quit so many times before because the stress I was putting on myself was driving me crazy. Now I just dance a lot to good ol’ funky music and lift a little at home and I’m feeling way better than before :).
what if you do it for health/energy reasons
crissfit jajaja that sounds funny
Appreciate this comment. Seems like great advice.
That's some gay advice bro
The gym should be your life
What is so wrong about making life about positive gains and hard work?
I was a big people person growing up and was very talkative with many different groups of people, but now that I'm 35, trust me, it's overrated. Sometimes, being alone and just chatting on social media from time to time is better than being around people who are full of crap. I'm at that point where I just care about improving myself for myself.
“Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man.” - Thomas Wolfe
I literally lost all 4 of my friends this past year. One by one they all turned against me thanks to one person lying about me. Now i really know what true loneliness feels like.
I understand u. I have been with zero close friends for a year now. Stay strong ❤
I feel you brother going through the same thing with my roommate. Unfortunately it’s just a part of life and people who you loved just change for the worse.
Those werent real friends then, anyways find a church or a mosuqe and consistently go to it, reach out to catch up with old buddies at a third place, dont look desperate, get closer with family etc.. and find a hobby and passion, start with drawing or music
Now you know where not to go for friendship, good to learn early game.
you should not trust anyone in the adult world. anyone can scam or con or backbite you at any point. this includes family members or your OWN WIFE! i have seen it. watch your back
Am I lonley, yes. Am I in better health and less depressed going to the gym all the time, absolutely yes.
I hope to impress goat-chan one day because she is the only person who i fucking know and can accept probably to begin with
@@Mortiz21 why in your opinion is finding a girl so hard these days?
no matter how much weight you lift, the aches and pain from the gym will never truly mask the hurt of lonliness...
damn bro lol so how come dudes just don't talk to other dudes, if god gave me one gift is the gift of blab lol i'll talk to anyone, except kids for obvious reasons. Just yesterday i spent 2 hours chatting with boomers they asked me to hang out i was like yea sure, i'll come by again lol if you want my honest opinion, people in the west are terrified of each other, i don't know if it's the movies, all these murder shows, i don't know what it is but please cut it out.
Our species NEEDS connections, even if it's for 15 mins a day so just making small talk with a random stranger is fine. For me i like longer chats about real sh*t, that's hwo i charge up my batteries. Also i noticed you young guys don't even make eye contact anymore. So, it isn't about some third place like this video suggests, it is fear about one another, that has to stop.
Sounds like someone who doesn't hit squats to failure
(Jk, I agree with you)
@@Ed-xv4sy thats all gym leads to
only dudes lol
@@Ed-xv4sy i'm already tired of you bro
Nah, solitude is peaceful, people are not
The metal we lift will never be as heavy as the burden of loneliness we carry all our lives..
Find a healthy balance for solitude, when i had a blackout and had no one it woke me up (didnt change jack tho be better than me)
Wow that’s so sigma bro
@DONTwatchmyplaylist i was mocking him btw
@hello-zh3jr
You're still an immature kid, regardless.
@@seth3491 the lone sigma is mad at me guys 🤯🤯
Gymcel is way better than being accused of sexual harassment
Right on
Damn Right!!!
@@mattryan1975 hey Matt Ryan congrats on retirement
@@oniqxn too bad women do not respect boundaries when making false accusations
why did this dude get accused of something?
People actually make me miserable. I would love to be in place with no one.
trust me, you don't mean that
@@SlenderManIsHerethey make you lose energy for sure tho.. disrupts your train of thought which gets annoying
he literally mentioned people exactly like you at 12:48 lol
@@EmilyCarter-d1b. Solitude is not a curse . There is a difference between being lonely and wanting some peace.
@@87fgsame I wouldn't mind living in an island alone
Sometimes I feel like the best way to cope with being lonely when you are alone is to reframe your loneliness as solitude but even then I know that can only go so far before the necessity for connection, so while solitude is a good thing, especially for introverts, you can never truly be your best self without a supportive network of people, and that takes work to maintain. I am admittedly not the best at reaching out to my friends or being the first to make plans but I really appreciate them.
Real
My son (11) was becoming a loner with very few friends (maybe a reflection of myself). After watching the world cup (soccer) he wanted to join a team and I signed him up for a recreational league and it has transformed his life. He has so many friends now, it has been like day and night. Even I have become friends with the other Dads and started socializing outside of just the soccer games.
Building community. That's the path forward!! I'm glad that he has parents like you who are supportive. I wasn't that lucky and I was more of a loner during my life. I only was able to build a community as an adult after reading a lot about it
Been a gymrat for years now. 6 days at the gym for hours & one day running at the trails. At the gym on holidays, birthdays, etc - it doesn't matter. No friends, no GF...no nothing - a true lone wolf. Being short, unattractive, going bald doesn't help matters either. Society puts such a premium on height & looks these days (primarily because of social media & dating apps). It's a very lonely lifestyle when you live in the gym & have no GF. 😞 But I guess it beats drinking myself silly at a bar everynight.
@@brokenhanz-o4m can u give an example of said hobbies or jobs, third places
@@brokenhanz-o4m Society nowadays pushes people to overfocus on looks but it's not so healthy for males. Research shows males need career focus, male friends, for hanging out, competiton, problem solving and such. And that they need friends of both sexes to get jobs and to find dates, so being a loner at gym does a male a great disservice in a long run. May help in short term- boost fitness and self-confidence but in a long run it takes up a lot of time that one will never get back and which should have been spend on creating various more or less lose social networks. So males attending gym should at least try to make friends with other people from their gym. Preferably of both sexes.
most girls were taught to hate men AND god and any gender roles. at least in america and the west. do you really want someone who has those values?
brutal
I am exact the same except tall and a retired international model. Looks and height is not the whole story.
Bro the fact our generation started to realise whats wrong with the world and decided to do something about it and get into a good shape and improve ourselves doesnt mean u have to attach an insulting label to us
This video has very little to do with the gym and much more to do with the rise of male loneliness. Gymcels is a made up concept that’s trendy right now. Going to the gym is a fantastic idea
If you mean "our generation" as Gen Z then the way you got upset in how someone described the issue means what everyone says about y'all being soft, useless, or crybabies matches. You're upset about being called an "insulting label" when there is so much worse out there kid lol. Grow up.
@@infini.tesimo This doesn't help at all. If you are making a point don't insult just makes what you are saying weak. The state of the modern is much at fault for this issue it isn't an individual problem where men are "soft, uselss or crybabies" instead recognising the issue and making a change is a much better use of our time.
@@infini.tesimothat point was incredibly intellectual pal 😂😂😂😂
There's a difference between bettering yourself and obsessing over things. One is constructive and the other is destructive
"Gymcels"
You just can't fucking win. Even if you push yourself to become better, overcome your problems and pursue self development, you will still get labelled with slurs by internet commentators.
Mostly by people projecting too.
Gymcels are the people who aren't pushing themselves to become better, those who's only productive activity is going to the gym. It's not so hard to go to the gym and make it a habit, once you do it enough times it becomes your comfort zone. While going to the gym may be uncomfortable, socializing and going out of your way to make friends is actually scary, having to deal with the pain of rejection or embarrassment. However having the courage to overcome that fear is what truly pushes yourself to become better and step out of your comfort zone. No amount of gym sessions, cold showers, meditation is going to help because those things eventually become easy.
@@slot0000I'd say meditation does help because It helps you be in the moment but you're right about the rest.
Gymcel isn't a slur. I've never seen a police officer use that term while beating on somebody.
You can't win! If you talk to a girl, you are a "creeper", or "thirsty", if you don't get dates you are an incel, if you do your own thing and stay away from women (i.e. MGTOW) you are a misogynist. This fucked up society has made it impossible for heterosexual men to live in comfort. And it's only on America. Go to Europe you see women aren't fat and tattooed socializing, dancing and having a good time and men you are in shape and literate living wonderful lives. And do you know why?
Because there is no cooperate America to poison the food, rewrite the history, and destroy the nature and culture!
Remove electronics and suddenly you're able to talk to people again.
It's not just the west, it's the same in Asia. Work, workout, elder care, self learning some shit is what I've been doing everyday for the past years. Don't even know where you can make genuine friends now.
Hope this won't become an echo chamber.
Damn. They really out here attacking us just for going to the gym while being single now. 😂
Like I just wanna lift in peace without having to worry about being accused by female "influencers" or having these derogatory labels attached.🤦♂️
yeah. "leave us alone!" ... ok ... "not like that!"
Ironically some of the most unhealthy (mentally and physically) and most lonely people are those who are around other people all the time, partying and drinking and socializing like there's no tomorrow, with loads of friends doing the same thing.
Guys remember being a gymcel or whatever they're calling it nowadays is better then being fat and playing video games which video games is okay in moderate doses if you making money doing it thats different. I have made so many bonds at the gym. Plus if you're fit more likely women will want to talk to you.
Exactly. This guy gets it. Why do these people have to put a fucking label on every damn thing nowadays.
>if you're fit women want to talk with you
Not necessarily.
If you think going to the Jim will make you attractive, then yes you are a gymcel.
@@slowbowz6383 yes it makes you much more attractive than beeing a obese neckbeard
Getting into shape will make girls check you out and respond positively when you approach them, but it's no guarantee that they'll actually be interested in you. And trust me, it's much less depressing to get nothing but rejection when you're out of shape than it is to get nothing but rejection when you're in great shape.
@@nomadic8000 height and face are more important when it comes to women. Muscles enhance your looks but if you don’t have the height and face to begin with then no amount of muscles and peak physique will help you
On the flip side, there are people like me who started as gymcels, but would later realize the gym saved my social life. 2020-2022 I’d barely talk to anyone being I had been out of highschool and Covid had me doing college online while I worked my retail job in a cooler away from most people. I’d clock out and head to the gym late at night and not say a word to anyone. Fast forward to today and I just went out with 6 of my friends to get wings after the gym and we had a blast. It sounds hard, but I swear you’d be surprised the friendships you can make from something as simple as spotting some random person or complementing them!!
Awesome story, and super happy you’re in a better place
@@ColeHastings and a lot of that is thanks to you bro :) I’ll never forget binging your videos as I’d mope around work around 2022ish when I was at my lowest. You’re a legend bro :)
@@andrewscocozza4340 Shoutout to you for taking action
Honestly this comment right here. Before getting back into the gym I felt lost and that I would never find myself again. The second half of 2022 through the majority of 2023 was the worst period of my life hands down. Ex tried to ruin everything including driving me to un-alive myself. With the gym it became the foundation to finding myself again. As that started to show results I started hanging out with my old friend from college who I had lost touch with.
Now not only has he become my closest friend but the combination of his support and also finding my own confidence through forging it in the gym, I’ve met so many new people that I now call my friends and to boot, I’m in the best shape of my life. 275 down to 213 and there’s still more to do and I cannot wait to get after it.
@andrewscocozza4340 you’re also so right that when you’re out and about now it’s easier to give compliments to people and even if they don’t accept it and brush it off oh well we move on and keep smiling. Cause we made it to where we want to be and earned every bit of it through hard work and consistency.
your videos are getting more cinematic but still realistic
Love increasing the quality of the vids
@@ColeHastings this was the best video I've watched this month maybe this year.Incredible job!
I was a gymcel after my divorce at the age of 40. Didn't expect anything. Just wanted to improve my bench max. Then I met a lady at the gym. Have been married for over 23 years. One daughter graduating from college this year. Still go to the gym regularly. Listen to audio books while I workout. Hardly talk to anyone
good slave
This is sad. If you feel this way I’m so very sorry. But remember when at the gym or wherever a simple smile and hi go a long way. I see way too many disconnected in the gym socially. Headphones in, hoodies on, and no comradery. It’s weird seeing the difference between the old iron gym Arnold videos compared to influencers of today. In Arnold’s the guys are slapping five and encouraging each other and shooting the breeze. I guess social media has put us all in this weird social competition that just leaves us so empty. All I can do is pray for a better future. Wish you all well!
Well said
Cuz today’s steroids are making people crashout over shit that shouldn’t be reacted to in any way
Late stage capitalism and the individualism it hypnotizes us with. There's no collective.
That's because men are really starting to hate each other now and don't really want to see each other improve. I've noticed a huge change just over the last 10 years. I think it's because the competition and pressure has increased to become something different to these modern women that cannot be pleased. The irony is that even though we all try to stand out by improving ourselves, we ultimately all become extremely similar.
This is because in those days gyms were dominated by men who then found camaraderie from that . Now gyms have a lot of women and they use it to get attention from men hence the social disconnection. Most guys can't bond anymore because of female presence and most women are addicted to going to the gym scantly dressed for male attention
here before 8 thumbnail/titel switches
Waiit..😂😂😂u know tooo
Lol
Been a while since I’ve had to do that
@@ColeHastings u really replied😁
The gym is a sanctuary where I can go release stress and beast up
I have friends who have A.I. Girlfriends now. Think that will be most people's future now. Population collapse is really happening now.
Also in Japan ladies are marrying themselves, just saddening . The loneliness epidemic is worsening.
Oh na 💀
What's a good one (AI gf)?
@@benbernanke7701 Artificial Intelligence Girlfriends 🫣🧐
@@benbernanke7701 none of them, they're not immersive at all.
@@thescarecrow897 The only one that would feel real is the one that rejects me 😅
I miss my mom 😭, the only female who showed me genuine love. I think of her when I work out. She cheered me on in any area of development I pursued and was proud of my aesthetic physique so after 2 decades of inactivity (marriage) I'm back to grind and fulfill my genetic potential.
Its not just America dude. Canada, Australia and Britain are experiencing the same problem but people seem to forget and not talk about it.
Even in Ukraine guys are going to war and when they back they found that they were cheated 😕Women are the same in every corner of the world
Your videos are really good stuff Cole. I often read a lot of commenters clinging to 'solitude' and isolation as a defense mechanism for videos like this. You'll see a pattern where its often the world that's bad, or people who suck, a lot of negative self deception to place the blame on others instead of making a healthy change. The problem is that a mind in chronic isolation begins deceiving itself into believing its comforted when in reality its just afraid of venturing out into the world. Solitude is a breath, but loneliness is suffocation, one the suffering mind puts on itself. I just hope people out there can know the difference when they see it.
If you don't think this world is bad you are part of the problem. Our society is absolutely deranged.
I’ve been lifting in a basement, garage, and now in my backyard under a tarp for almost 20 years now. Listen to either heavy metal or rap. I got three jobs, play video games. Haven’t made any friends since I’ve moved to Florida . Go months to years without any female contact , been single for almost 13 years. I just don’t trust people anymore , every once in a while I try doing stuff with people and just regret it within an hour or two
brutal
20 years with gym and you live like that
i just started last month
also same here with regret thing
i hang with friends when im drunk and they all have gfs
embarrassing but its better than being alone? maybe
i regret drinking too the next day but i got to
i only drink every week but if i had money id be full time alcoholic
and games dont really do it for me anymore knowing my predicament
living with my family
i knew this time would come
but i didnt know it would be this bad
Yup, there was always a feeling of dread afterwards, couple that with social anxiety during some of my earlier days (even on the phone). Now that I'm in my 30s I'm more eloquent at least so when someone annoys me (mainly my mom) I can fight back with words accordingly. That's one of the things I'd regret if I was a younger again.
You need to go to church or something get there
If men are so lonely, then what are all the women doing?
@ICMFX preach 🗣️
@ICMFX😂😂😂
Spending ex husbands money. Soon, they get bored with that and crying at tik tok
Have you noticed young women are on their phones everyday?
Doing all they can to do alpha fuck aka chasing chad the top 0,0000001% males , hoe shaming is not working these days
As a current mental health therapist and a fellow gym bro. I find this video incredibly refreshing. I’ve seen other RUclipsrs discuss the “third place” but you’re the first to include the gym bro’s experience. Having balance is key; after the work and the gym I recommend people put themselves in in depth social situations at least 2 to 3 times a week. Even if it’s on the weekends.
Guys, going to the gym is a good thing!
going to the gym is a good thing. But the problem is when going to the gym is your only thing. Obviously alot of this guys go to the gym as a way to cope with their inability to get women
@@thescarecrow897 I would rather them do that then hard drugs or petty crime. What other people do is none of my business unless they are hurting someone.
no one is saying it isn't, everyone exercises, brushes their teeth, eats vegetables etc i think it's talking about incels thinking that somehow going to the gym will make up for other areas of their lives
@@StefanTafmost ppl do not exercise or eat clean diets. Besides that I agree with you
Not all who are alone are do due to social rejection. Some are because they chose to be for valid reasons. I have my reasons as to why I abandoned society and nearly live like a hermit with no desire to rejoin society. As for the gym, for me it's therapeutic and I do it for myself, not to attract anyone.
People like you are quick to throw labels and use the "We're social animals" line while forgetting we're also capable of adaptation. Meaning one can easily adapt to a life of solitude without the negative effects preached by social butterflies.
Agreed im in the same situation.
excellent. Every guy turning away from this completely broken society and focusing on his own development is a seed of hope for something much better to come.
@@JFDrake94 this sounds like cope
This label applies to people who actively go to the gym to seek social validation in the form of finding friends or a romantic partner, it doesn't apply to people who work out and mind their own business
"Just go to the GYM BRO."
No One Cares about Men who aren't winning.
lol gym aren’t going to change your race
Gym is not going to change your face lil bro, Chad and tyrone get laids at the gym
Ape together strong
@@paolowerewolf0186most people aren’t single due to their face. They are single due to their undeveloped social skills and lack of outgoing activity. “Bro I work, go to the gym, and then go home to watch Netflix while hardly ever speaking to anyone. Why can’t I meet any women?”
@@badart3204 Because you guys just box yourselves in. Like going to the gym is great you will not be obese and it is a good outlet. But people seem to only do it our of spite.
going to the gym over the years has become a habit for me. Nothing beats the feeling of euphoria after a hard training session. With that said, back in the old days people hang out and shoot the shits while working out at the gym; nowadays, everyone is wrapped into their headphones and act completely antisocial
Not outside office hours per se, but you’re 100% right when you say you can’t replace face to face interactions with good people. Recently my job went from working fully remote to being in the office 3 days a week, and I’ve always liked everyone I work with at this job, but with being around my coworkers and having lunch with them every day and chatting in between meetings I’ve definitely noticed a major spike in good mood during the week and my job itself has actually felt way more fulfilling lately.
Cole, I've watched your content on and off for years and this is one of those rare videos I actually felt the need to watch through to the end. Allow me to offer an alternative perspective to your "what's wrong with this" premise.
I'm 34, I work in the fitness industry and after work I go and train Muay Thai for two hours a night 4 nights a week in classes and usually have another 30 minutes to an hour on the speed bag and heavy bag working timing to music. I've been in gyms since middle school; I got serious about working out after my first engagement fell apart and I survived a suicide attempt at 23, and have been doing either heavy weight workouts or training martial arts since. In 2018 my second engagement fell apart and I lost all motivation to live and get better. I lost myself, I lost my purpose, I lost a life that I had been building for 3 years with the woman I was planning on spending the rest of my life with, and I lost hope completely. I moved 120 miles away and rented rooms for the next year moving every couple months and changing jobs just as often. By December of 2018 I decided I was going to take up boxing because if I was going to beat myself up mentally I should at least get my ass beat physically. At this point I'd been in the gym for 14 years on and off, it had never been a social place for me, in fact I always felt like an absolute retard for asking anyone anything including for a spot. So I just put headphones in and do my work. Obviously with boxing training you can't just isolate and work, you're always with a partner or you're always listening to a coach, or you're listening to someone. What I found was that even though I had to take the headphones out and I was eventually accepted as part of the gym community, there was never any deeper connection than "hey we both go to the same gym". There were plenty of people that did have close friendships at the gym but most of them were younger and that friendship came from a place of partying and college culture with my gym being in a major college town with a world renowned college culture, and I was older [28 at the time]. Even though I was training with all these younger guys that had been going there for longer than me, I was advancing in the sport much faster than they had or would. My advantage is that while I was training I was getting to the gym an hour before class, training by myself, going to class for an hour, then staying for an hour or two after class to train more. I did this 6 days a week even if there wasn't a class for me to take. I'd show up and jump between the speed bag, double end bag, and heavy bag going as hard as I could for as long as I could without breaks aside from a couple seconds here and there for water. I became well respected within the gym and even got to know some of our world class pros as a rising prospect.
A person that is healthy and trying to be somewhere to socialize won't train the way that I did; the way that I do now. They can't. The pain and fatigue they'll experience will absolutely shut them down. But because I hate myself and I feel like I deserve the pain, I am able to train through just about everything. In the beginning I said I work in the fitness industry, well it's not exactly what you think; I don't do personal training or fitness consultation or anything, I install gyms and equipment. I move thousands of pounds of weight every single day on the low end for service, test every single machine at max weight, and on my hard days I'm working for 10 hours dragging shit across puzzle piece rubber flooring and resetting the flooring when I'm done. I then go and work myself to the point where I'm barely conscious on the drive home and get home and make a steak so I can get up tomorrow and do it again.
I'm a single man, I wouldn't exactly call myself an incel because I have gotten laid and I could get laid if I went out to bars and actually tried, but I do technically fall under the gymcel umbrella. I work, I train, I go home and watch a few episodes of One Piece while making and eating dinner while also watching youtube videos about psychology, sociology, and the collapse of western civilization. I tell you all of this just to get to this point, gymcels aren't gymcels because they have no other choice; they don't go to the gym and work themselves to extreme lengths because it's the only option they have, they don't do it for the admiration of others, the communities of those places they go, or because they think it's going to get them chicks. Gymcels do what they do because deep down they know that in a world where every other success in life relies on the variable of another human to choose you for the opportunity to gain success, the gym is a place where you can go and no matter what your definition of success is, as long as you work towards it every single day, you can achieve it. In 2013 I went from suicidal and unable to keep food down with a squat that was barely 90lbs with proper form to repping 405 as a warm up weight with mid set being 455 and top set being over 500 in right about a year. In 2019 I went from 0 experience in boxing to regularly beating competing amateur boxers in sparring. Now I'm in the early stages of Muay Thai and I may never be "good" at it because I'm probably too old, but I'm better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I'll be better than I am today.
The gym is the only place in most men's lives that we can go and truly see improvement day by day. It helps if you're keeping track through notes or in an app, but if you can look back at your last arms session and see an increase of 5lbs over your last session on a lift it helps you see potential; on a long enough timeline you will eventually decide to look back a month or 6 months and see that you're up 100lbs on a lift but because you see the growth like you see the grass grow or the paint dry, you never realized that you made that progress. You'll never be able to rely on another person to get the feeling that this experience brings. You'll never be able to experience the feeling of someone asking you how you got so good at boxing while you still think you suck and it opens the door for you to be kind to yourself and pat yourself on the back for once because someone is trying to make you feel good. Men need isolation, they need to be given the opportunity to track measurable growth, they need to be lonely. All of these things we, as a society, tend to assign a pathetic and negative connotation to but these are the actions taken by truly strong men that have never been given the responsibility to show how strong they are. I don't see gymcels as people that need to find healthier outlets or socializations or anything, I see them as men that, if things do actually collapse as appears to be imminent, will be able to stand up and find a way to help lead people toward rebuilding.
Sorry for the long comment, but this is an area I've spent a lot of my life, both in the gym and in my head.
I agree on the men need the solitude phase to blossom, but this is only if they were lazy like me (still in it)
But I dont agree it should be a life quality beyond a phase, you need friends family and spouses. Aspirations outside of body work, also go to a church or a mosque make it consistent, look back on yourlife do you have a portfolio to be proud about (im 20)
@@IIIISai I hope it never happens to you but for many there comes a time where you’re just waiting to die, or spending your days wishing you didn’t survive.
@@deltacharlieecho4732 depressing bro god bless
in short: being alone doesn't mean being lonely. excellent point about being self sufficient.
They attaching negativity to making yourself better physically...they really do want men to be weaklings..
just the ugly creepy ones yes
they hate to see them even exist let alone try
absolutely that's what this is
You gotta actively try to miss the point this badly
@@guccistreams no, the stated intent is pretty clear, it's just bs.
@@beowulf_of_wall_st do you think the stated intent is that going to the gym is bad?
Love the video. You do so many things at once. Comedic relief, cinematography, social commentary, adding your unique experience, and most importantly pragmatic optimism. Thanks for the work you do and I look forward to changing the world alongside you even though it's unlikely I'll ever meet you.
There is no gym for your Height and your Face.
Immpprooooooove 24/7.
Chad doesn't need to improve.
even if you spend 1 hour of your day playing video games after work self improvers will call you a lazy procrastinator
Well there is surgery for face but with that money you can see escorts and go ldar anyway
I would rather be completely alone than share my energy w the wrong people. I think loneliness should be embraced and it will actually help you think about things that are deeper in nature and not the artificial that most are focused on.
I speak to people when I feel like it and if I am drawn to them, otherwise I often regret, if I speak to the wrong person.
Also, I am a RUclipsr too and I try to be vulnerable not bc I want to make a profit but because I know by being honest, I help set people free.
Yeah it's perfectly fine for men who are living in a very sick society to pull back and preserve themselves and gather their strength for when things start crumbling for real. This is a normal response and in a few years we will need the men who have been living in solitude and not letting this world twist them.
I Like my chicken jerked 😊
Gymcel is the best life you could live. I did it for a year around the time covid was high and life was peaceful and amazing.
Just let things happen naturally, it’s the way of life, no one needs to go out to meet people, also, fuck everything everyone says, advice is not good these days, just be you and don’t frickin give in to these a holes who are trying to profit off all you. Just be yourself
@@JackTheCool115 this advice was exactly what I got when I was younger and frustrated with being a loner and now I am 30 and still a loner. Good things do not happen naturally unless you already have accumulated enough social capital for the Matthew effect to do all the work for you.
@@redditor7548 well then play the social capital game. It seems like a really poor moral choice. But because of the society we live in, we’re forced to play this game of who’s more popular.
The intro reminds me so much to Fight Club.
'Everything is a copy, of a copy, of a copy...'
The way-out becomes the new prison.
going to the gym is by far from the path of least resistance, in fact it's a path of one of the highest resistance.
11:42 I like this clip over here.
An open Computer overlooking the outside.
By the window with blinds and it's going dark for the evening reminding someone that the day will end again by them not working on something.
That was my life from high school to college at summer break.
It's fascinating how seldom family is mentioned, non monetary transaction based places like library, church, volunteering.
Dang, just reading the thumbnail makes me feel sad. I totally get this. Looking forward to watching it.
I have a few friends, but the gym is my place of refuge and solace. I usually go late at night when I don't have to wait on machines/equipment and it is very peaceful with
Real
there's nothing wrong with it either way.
A great third place is a dance class even if you don’t see yourself as a dancer. 3-6 months joining a salsa class got my foot in the door is so many places. Met so many people
Went to a salsa lesson with my girlfriend. Great time
Yes! Such a good way to meet people and have fun!
Whats the gender ratio
@@IIIISai where I went it was usually more girls then guys but it was always respectful
@@ColeHastings Glad I’m not the only one, It’s a great skill to have in your arsenal as-well.
The vast majority of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
I feel it's important to point out too that surrounding yourself with others simply for the sake of being social is also not the way to go. I believed this all throughout my teens and 20's, and looking back I realize that some memories and experiences left me worse off than loneliness itself. A feeling worse than loneliness can also be the feeling of dejection when you're surrounded by others. Make sure the friends you make are ones that you truly connect with, and if they aren't, then it's better to be alone. Don't maintain "friendships" where you feel left out, brought down, or heavily mistreated. True friends mess around with each other, fight, and bicker true; but most importantly they build each other up. Too many people maintain unhealthy relationships with others simply because they're afraid of being alone, and that brings them down in many other areas in life.
Real
Cole, your development as a person and content creator is truly exceptional. Im proud of you
Thank you Eli. I appreciate that a lot
12:45 that moment. This hit home, so hard. I’ve felt this so much of my life. Thank you for this video. This is the wake up call many of us, including myself, needed
As long as you’re meditating and getting your mind right it’s all good
Most are identified with the body consciousness raise your consciousness up
The first 1:52 seconds felt like a
Start of a Black mirror episode okay imma go back to watching
Just watched the intro and laughed all the way through it. Bro just described my life. And he knows what I’m going to say. Not gonna lie, I’m a little spooked.
Silent conditioning in public school "killed the youth,therefore killed humanity"
I was a big time loner for 9 years but this year I'm wanting to change that. I've been going to events now and feel so out of place. I think I'm going to get rid of my introverted shell for good.
You’re not alone with feeling like that, but you’re taking the necessary steps to get there
Wearing loose socks to bed = best possible sleep quality 🔴🔴
Shit did I forget to take those off
A very hated but true statement
just sleep naked wtf
Honestly I don't agree with the concept behind the video at all. I lift 4-6 times a week and run 4 times a week. I'm spending an hour to an hour and a half exercising maybe 10 times each week. I have a girlfriend but before meeting her I lived a very isolated/ lonely life, and would again if we broke up. And I'm totally cool with that. Exercising makes me really, really happy. Socializing usually doesn't. Through my early twenties I spent a decent chunk of time at parties and bars, and what many people don't realize is that the conversations you have in these settings are pretty shallow and tend to be based around a handful of topics that have been discussed to death. Political discussion has ZERO nuance or depth and if you aren't a hard liner for or against one party you usually can't find much middle ground on anything. Most people are pretty boring, because as you said, they spend a ton of time on social media doom scrolling. I'm good on that lol
@@johnnydoe6696 you are a normie that has successfully experienced basic developmental milestones. Most of us never had friends or a girlfriend.
I don't think putting labels like that is gonna help anybody. Better be a gymrat than a home-stuck incel.
Seriously, our obsession with putting labels on each other needs to stop
Labels is tribalism and strawmans, meaning that it's not a full picture and just someone's flawed perspective.
You're right, Labeling helps no one and causes more harm than good
Heck forget third place, for those of us that work from home full time we don't even have a second place. I in part use the gym as a means to get myself out of my apartment. Yeah, meeting people is rough these days and contrary to a lot of what many self improvement gurus seem to say, we can't just spend our adulthood quietly grinding constantly.
Accountability must be taken 👍
@@ColeHastings Agreed. The world has changed a lot in the last 10 years and I think many of us are trying to figure out how to navigate it. I have a lot of things to be thankful for and I think there are a lot of people that are experiencing loneliness worse than me. Heck even a year and a half ago, I wasn't even going to the gym; I just stayed home all the time outside of grocery shopping. Going to the gym has helped a lot, both in terms of generating happiness hormones and in terms of being more comfortable going out and being around people. I'm not sure what my next step is, but I'm trying my best not to stand still
@@tehlaziness stay at moms house while doing your remote job
I can feel exactly all the emotions this guy is going through in the video and actually cancelled my gym membership since nobody speaks to me at the gym.
Fellas, don't ostracise yourself. It's so easy when people have ostracised you from the start. It's one hell of a rock bottom to be stuck in. Strive to gain one friend, at least one for sanity's sake. Working on being less closed off at nearly 30 and it's hard. It will only get harder the older you get. You will cripple yourself socially in increasing amount and become _off_ on a fundamental level.
How did u make that 1 friend
Good luck making one friend after college or at 30
You should be "off" in the current environment we have. People who are tuned in to the lunacy we have today are the ones who should be worried.
@@YouKnowMeDuh damage is already done. 30 year old virgin. No friends since high school… it’s over for me. I am planning on redacted soon
this made me grateful for having the gym as a social place for me. I've made great friends from the gym just by going consistently and talk to people.
we all cope in are own way
some cope with the gym, other anime, but what we all have in common is that we are simply priced out of the market.
like everything, love comes with a price and if you can't pay it you will be alone as man
welcome to the bitter sweet world
Why do you presume you are priced out if the market? In thinking that way, you are ruining your own potential, stopping yourself from trying to build without even trying. And then you use the lack of results to convince yourself that you have no chance because you are priced out anyway.
@@JayS.-mm3qr everyone and everything has a price. Being delusional isnt helpful
I swear to you bro, there are ugly dudes working at wendys pulling baddies left and right in this world. Be confidence and comfortable in your skin(I know its a hard ask in the current state of the world).
@@caasijs4208 you're talking about teens and maybe college kids though, right? Not ugly 30+ guys working at Wendy's, right?
@@thescarecrow897 who said anything about being delusional? If anything, presuming you are priced out of the market is delusional... and toxic.
600 B.C - Spartan warriors.Ancient Greece was a culture that highly prized fitness, strength, and physical beauty to an even higher degree than education at times. Greek citizens spent a great deal of time in the gymnasium. They would exercise or partake in athletic games to sculpt their bodies to the desired level.
2024 I SEE A PROBLEM HERE!
This was me for ages and now I’m having a hard time showing people I’m normal and not mentally ill
Love Cole Hastings btw ❤
What most people don't understand is that all this separation, isolation and alienation are a part of a very strategic social engineering. It's not something that happened randomly(even though some aspect could be an unexpected side effect), it's all has a purpose, like depopulation, control. It might sound crazy, but humanity never lived in a free world - there's always someone at the wheel of manipulation.
I remember watching your channel consistently years ago. I fell off the self improvement videos (just started getting after it) but stumbled upon your channel again. Your editing/filming has improved greatly
Okay, I'm definitely not as extreme as your intro skit, but I have been down similarly bad before. This video still inspires me to go out there and make plans because life isn't just about the "sigma grindset" and you need some connection with real people to be sustainably mentally healthy.
I KNEW IT. I knew these "Gym gym gym gym hey bro go to gym did I mention I go to the gym?" People aren't as happy as they try to make it seem
They're happier than they would be if they didn't gym. I know I am
@@trvpyn You might be. Doesn't mean everyone is. I'm sure people who go to the gym to better themselves feel good about themselves but many guys who are not even interested in going there feel like they HAVE to because so many others do. I don't think that's a good way to happiness. I personally find going to gym so fucking boring that I prefer other ways to excercise. Climbing and running is actually fun. I don't find going to gym fun at all
@@dyykkarifin2454 exercise is the best possible thing you can do for your mental health. not everyone in the gym is happy,. but the alternative is way worse
@@dyykkarifin2454 🤷🏾♂️
Going to the gym isn’t the issue. Making it your entire life and personality is. People don’t know balance anymore. It’s either all work, all gym or all rot in their room. None of which is sustainable.
I love being alone, and as little human contact as possible
Where I live, it is better for me to be alone because communicating with them will put me in a big problem
Facts. The days I work, well, I need to make human interactions because I need to pay my bills. The days I'm off I go to the gym, take long walks, go to coffee ☕️ shops, watch the sunset. I literally talk to a couple of girls at the grocery store I shop at. Quite frankly, that's the only interactions I need at times.
Watching you two years ago, your editing skills have gotten so damn good.
you deserve so many more views man, your vids are always informative yet entertaining
🙏
Entire video's advice in one sentence: "Go out and talk to people without smelling or looking bad."
I feel like Cole has not experienced the average male dilemma. I'd bet most men, pre-Gymcel life, had extensive in-real-life friend groups but were unexpectedly sidelined as if being pushed out of a plane and luckily some of them were already wearing a parachute. The number 1 killer of men in the United States is suicide and if working on their body gives them meaning in a world that refuses to help men and they are not going into drugs/alcohol/porn, then I see nothing wrong with this. It is true that it is up to a person to seek out social relationships, but to simplify and even dumb down that process without thinking about the cultural and social consequences men struggle with is wild.
I'm 48 with two kids and I wife. What's crazy is that I feel OK when I'm alone and do my hobbies by myself, but I do like spending time with my family. It's probably because of my age, but I have never had a whole bunch of friends honestly. 😅
@@joseCalderon1976 no crap. You already won in life. You have a wife and children. Your relationship needs are met.
Being lonely isnt for everyone. I get it. Your just weak but the same could be said about being social. To each their own. What i dont like is being told to go out and socialize. That its good for you.
I also wanted to add that i liked your intro. Many men dream of having their own family. I know i do but with the western women and their current nature. I can only keep dreaming on.
Cole Hastings is my comfort channel. Thank you for giving the vibe you have bro
0:45 is literally me rn, watching this video and eating breakfast
Also, beautiful shot at 1:38
Literally him!
After my wife broke up with me last year, the only thing I have in life, besides working and sleeping, is going to the gym. I have no friends left, and I realized my whole social life existed within my marriage / relationship.
However, it bothered me some time, but I don’t care anymore. I just focus on myself now, don’t care that much about what others think and just lift heavy and work hard. It‘s ok.
there's nothing wrong with it, don't listen to this shaming
This is the result of telling lonely men that *they* are completely at fault for their loneliness. And that the only solution is an endless, sisyphean cycle of self improvement. That they aren't good enough for a relationship or happiness.
this video is another example of telling men they chose to be alienated
Now men can’t even go to the gym in peace without being labelled a “gymcel”
Haters will always exist everywhere
It has always existed. You're just young. The gym used to be for weirdos and "meatheads"
Remember muscular men were freak shows.
The problem isn't just people going to the gym. Gym is amazing, can provide an amazing and better mental health, and on top of that, if done correctly which isn't too hard, can make you achieve your dream bod. The problem comes when people just make it their entire personality. It happens a lot to people who were rejected socially. There was this guy, a real 4sshole, insecure, mythomaniac, manipulative, superiority complex, well you know the song. I can't believe I hang out with this dude for 4 years. One day, he got rejected, which wasn't a damn surprise. And there he began becoming soooo irritable. He went on this cringe ahh "villain arc", and changed his pfps everywhere to a goofy 144p screenshot of Darth Vader, unironically.
...
He became so irritable and even worse each day that I just removed him and his toxic influence from my life, and guess what, my life has never been any better. I think that Cole, this video's creator, didn't really address the subject really well. The real problems are those people who make the gym their entire life, and who think that the gym will make every woman come to them like a magnet or something, when the real problems lies inside of themselves. Other than that, the gym is wonderful^^
That's my life, I'm 23, even I'm more an introvert, I need some social contact outside of my family. Here in european countries we are facing the same problems. The majority of people of my age are on thier phones in the presence of thier friends, even when I do a little jogging through the park. Is rare to see someone without it who us in his 20's.
My mom is 61, who has a phone and social media. When she interacts with a stranger about her age they get easily into small talk, they speak about really simple topics about thier life experiences, family and opinions. I think it has something to do with generation, when my mother was 23, she didn't had a phone and all the internet in her hand 24/7. That doesn't mean that everyone of her generation make easily friends, but it's something that I see often, compared to me.
It won’t get better
Feels like a dope shortfilm brooo, I fw it heavy
As a spiritual person I feel just as alone most of the time, gym or no gym. Normal light convos drain my energy real fast unless it's about stuff I'm interested in. Rn it's pokemon games, but my interests are always changing. I have a friend who brings out my lighter side, but that only gets me so far.
Bro just described my whole life with that intro
Being a gymcel seems pretty chill bruh ngl
"Bro just described my life with that intro…" Yes! It's been my life for over a decade now. And you portrayed it so accurately that at some point I began to wonder if someone had a bunch of cameras following me around 🧐 The "watching RUclips on my laptop in the kitchen while preparing my meal" part, the gym, the anime, the PC games in the evening… Pretty much everything was exactly the same. My cope is that it could be worse: At least I'm taking care of my body instead of destroying it with drugs or junk food.
Now, it's easy for many people to blame men for this situation. I know the video is not specifically about meeting women, but meeting women is the number one thing that will drive men to put themselves out there, and the fact of the matter is, it has become de facto *impossible* to meet women these days. We have been excluded from the market.
- You can't approach women in public anymore, like the cute cashier at the grocery store or the girl at the bookstore (do those still even exist?), without being labeled a "creep" or being accused of harassment.
- Women don't hang out in bars or "third places" in general anymore; they're all sitting on their couches and browsing social media on their phones, having hundreds of simps liking their Instagram posts and ordering them food. Seriously, just hit any bar on a Friday night - it's all single and divorced men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s getting wasted.
- Dating apps are a scam (and have been so for over a decade) - it's all bots, Instagram/OF "models" fishing for followers, and overweight single moms looking for some succer to bail them out.
- Other activities like hiking, cycling or social work are mostly other desperate lonely men who had the same idea as you ("I'll join a hobby and maybe I'll get to meet a girl").
- Churches are mostly old people now, and the very few younger women there are already taken.
- Public squares are mostly crackheads milling around now.
For anyone out there who is in their early to mid 20s, be grateful. At least you're not still a loser at 36, like me.
I'm elder and dont feel like that. 5 years ago, when discovered redpill, I put focus onmyself only. Found good job, making money and this is it. For avg guy solution is making good money, with that you have more things to do. My advice to bottom 80% is... try to make good money, education etc. Later ideas will come... I gave up on girls, as Im not model type, so dont want to be simp, walking atm either... There is more things to do, enjoying walks in the park everyday etc...
Isn't being a loser in ur 20s worse cuz ur missing out on the "best years" of life?
People Suck. Work out, stay healthy, dress well, learn stuff.