Nobody told me the stuff I hate myself for jow (and I think I'm in the wrong for that, but can't help it) and I still feel like this now :( And I also lost hope it'll gte better in that regard x-x
That's BS, you say it like it's always false and it actually hurts when you know that they're telling you the truth. Let's take responsability and assume that we suck sometimes.
In other words, we get gaslighted to believe that we're not good, and the people responsible for telling us this aren't any better nor different than they claim. It takes a lot of insecurity to say such hurtful things to another person. @Jonathan A, you pretty much proved my point to some extent. The only thing I do have to keep in mind is that people did make poor decisions while under such derogatory beliefs. At the very least, people must take responsibility to overcome the inner troubles we were instilled partially by others and persisted by our hands. Even "truth" can change when you're willing to accept what really is, and still persist to learn from our mistakes and not give up our path to change for the better without hating ourselves for past actions either done by our hands or caused by others. We started out as kids, and of course we were immature, but some people that we met have proven that they are not as mature as they claimed. Why would an insecure and hurt person tear someone down? Because they were hurt and they can't tell who's responsible, so they focus their anger on everyone else. It's flawed learned behavior being passed on to others, and it even extends to adults who didn't overcome their problems during their adolescences and teenaged years. I can accept I am a person that made mistakes, but I won't accept being forced to believe I'll never learn and ultimately overcome them. That part was forced on me by immature people who took their issues out on me and countless other people. I know I'm not special, because I know some people who became cruel or assumed that specific learned behavior of such hurtful sorts has done that to others. It's the same old story, passed on through multiple forms of derogatory means. Even Racism counts as well as others, because of certain beliefs that people persist to push on others different from them and not like-minded as them. All I know is that I never asked people to call me such hurtful names, I was only a child that learned things differently and emulated differently than others, I was innocent and got too imaginative that it did distort my reality for a time. The challenge was realizing all this time that those kids that made called me names had learned things differently and they emulated behaviors that they didn't even realize that some of the things they did was a bad thing and never questioned it. Some kids had tragedies and terrible environments pushed their minds in a dark place and didn't have an outlet for their sadness and anger and how they saw people in the world. I was unable to see this back then compared to now because I thought I was no good because of the criticism of kids to adults made of my innocent actions as a kid for being too imaginative and struggling to learn things. I was misunderstood and their ridicule made me felt so terrible and I had not developed a way to not care about their words, since I had a time using my mind due to Asperger's. I took it too hard, possibly more than I thought. I'd rather not tell myself I suck, because it was that kind of stuff that made me so down in the first place. I'll admit to making mistakes and learn how to learn from my actions, but I'm not going to accept a lifestyle that criticizes yourself to an unhealthy level and takes it inward more than learning from what was done to me and what I have done and move on a better person than in the past. Self-harm internally and externally is no way to live.
@@leon4000 my point was very specific towards the comment up above, it’s pretty basic and nihilistic, we are blaming people for letting us know when we suck at something, and actually I think the opposite would be even worse. You would raise more people like those who think they own the world because everything they do is perfect. People have to deal with their inner dark side in other to keep improving themselves. I agree with you in many things you said, but even something like insecurities are necessary in this life.
In the end, hating ourselves also means that we can only love others half-heartedly. As a Buddhist saying goes: we can only see in others what we found in ouselves
Can't recall whose quote is this but I've once read "if you hate yourself, how can you love others?" Probably a variation of the buddhist saying you mentioned.
@@VoidDweller86 to be honest, same here. Guess the paradox remains. Could be because one developed family love as a child, before depression kicks in. Iirc statistically short of early neglect/abuse/trauma, a person's most vulnerable to stuff like depression in their teens. Yet while self-loathing may begin, feelings for family/close friends stay the same.
I always feel anxious in public , I sweat a lot and I struggle to maintain eye contact. I always feel like I’m inferior and unworthy of love . Thanks a lot for this video. This shit really hit home.
I practiced this. My mental health is getting better, today however I failed, I don't know why I came home depressed and started drinking again. But tommorow is a new day and every day is a new oppertunity so fuck this shit, we'll keep going again
I hate how I made myself believe my relationship was everything. I was my top self when I was dating my ex. Working out, meditating, working, school, and still having the time to see her as often as I can. Once I asked her to move in with me, she decided to end the 3 1/2 year relationship. I was confused and lost and went down what it seemed to be an endless spiral of sadness at only 18. Im about to be 21 in november and I want to say nows the time to get over it completely. I am retraining myself to do all the things I did for her, like workout and get money, for me now.
Just some advice man, there’s many girls out there and perhaps there’d be a few that would truly ride for you. You can have your times with some girls but the relationship doesn’t work out, keep moving on. Walk with your chin up and your chest out, never stop training and making money, and don’t lose faith that you’ll find the right girl. I’ve had many bad relationships and now I’m in the best relationship of my life going on 2 years strong. I admit I’m not working on myself as much as i need to but I’ll get there.
Bro you’re still young as fuck maybe you’re looking for a long term partner to get serious with but not every girl is don’t take it personal, and you feeling your best in a relationship is simply confidence. If you want one then by all means look for one, but remember you’re still the same person when you’re alone and when you’re with someone. This girl may have brought out a positive side of you but she only showed you what was already there my man just go and live life and even try something you won’t enjoy and then you’ll figure out what you want just keep telling yourself you’re good enough to get it because you are
I was down horrendous last year too, broke up with my gf, couldn’t see my dad, lost money, had to delay my last semester of engineering, was left with no friends, but today I feel way better
My biggest missing piece (besides no friends, no gf) is a lack of purpose. Everything I do feels pointless and worthless. Spending time alone, therapy, eating healthy, exercise, meditation, spending time outside, no addictions is no problem. But everything else I do and try feels completely worthless, and it's extremely frustrating.
@@AddedPrayer and they also have the ability to stand and act , in one of the most terrifying situations possible for a human being.. a warzone -- most without wetting themselves or running away .. so that's impressive
It's really brave of you to point out your relapses. Sometimes I get really envious of self help RUclipsrs because they seem so "above it all," but you manage to bridge the gap between yourself and viewers, seeing them as equals rather than loyal subjects. A pleasure to be alongside you and everyone else on this journey 🙏
I’m a 20 year old black young women, I’ve been struggling with self hate for such a longggg time now, and I realized after watching your video, that it’s been everything as a whole, my parents, society, social media, that has made me truly hate myself and who I am. I am not deemed as feminine because I’m black, I’m not soft because I’m black, and it’s very difficult on my mental health because I am the total opposite from hard, I’m very sensitive and easy to feel sad and to cry, but everytime I feel this way, it’s stop crying, stop this stop that, a lot. Thank you so much for your channel, thank you for helping others!
I graduated from highschool last year, and my parents have been constantly pushing me to work a 9-5 job, or get a college degree in computer science (because I'm good at math). Recently it's been a lot easier to not allow their expectations of me to define me. I started college in January, going into a computer science degree, and my first semester was abysmal. I failed three of my classes, a feat which caused a ruckus with my parents, because I got a 3.9 GPA in highschool. As of right now, 4 months later, I know that I want to study psychology, and learn Japanese. Both of which my parents say aren't practical/won't get me a high paying job. But I don't care. 😁
Man, start looking for ways to make money online. Learn about marketing, sales, copywriting, freelancing, etc. And start building something. I quit my Engineering degree with 9 classes left and in two years I make more money then I ever would with a 9-5 and feel more free than ever before.
Dude same the gym literally saved me mentally but I also look better physically as I’ve put on lots of muscle do to weightlifting also my confidence got better as well
After my break up i was fucked my ex cheated on me people told me I'm a failure had few friends but after 3 months of gym i started being less anxious amd depressed and people started acknowledging me
I recently started the gym aswell and has began to eat a bit better too, make more food. I am very skinny and I don't know if muscles will look good on me. I don't want to look masculine but since I enjoy doing group workouts at the gym I will continue it and also see if it comes with more positive changes. :)
This doesn't just apply to teenagers, im 38 and this is still valuable information to live by. Been on a whole food/cutting diet for a few weeks now training harder with less rest during workout. Ive now got in the best shape I've ever been in. Really enjoying my training these days.
*Most people sit around and wait for inspiration, just some rare people get up and get to work.* *I may not know you personally, but I believe in you that you will succeed!* 🙏
Cole, I’m about a year older than you, but on the same exact journey my friend. Devastated from a break up and spiraled into a depression. I’m truly loving my self for the first time and my life has never been better. Keep up the good journey. Love from your homie up north in Reno!
I'm surrounded by the people that gave me these thoughts and feelings and I cant just leave them. Your content and the other self help channels are greatly helpful as I know that I can live well and be happy without them. Keep posting your great content. Thx
this video is a bible for me, my girlfriend brokeup with me this march, was feeling the same worthlessness in me but now i feel like it had to happen. until we dont learn how to keep our self worth above everything and love ourselves we ll keep getting hurt by things. thanks cole, feels like i am not alone👏
I relate to your growth and loving yourself after my 5 year relationship ended in January. It's as if I woke up from a coma, and saw myself for the first time, and I didn't recognize myself. So I started reconnecting with friends and started swimming again which has just made me happier. I also incorrectly thought that I wasn't complete until I found the one, but its more like a bonus. I know I'm complete and happy without someone else being there.
My 4 year long friendship and relationship ended recently too. My mind was clouded for about a week until I decided that I need to be in charge. I can’t be happy with someone else if I am not happy with myself. I am planning to be by myself for a while, even distancing from friends. I have already started my journey towards betterment but sometimes I find myself lost again. Any suggestions on this?
@@bppb4198 To be honest I don't know. I just try to take it day by day. I try to remember what it is I like to do things I like and remind myself that I'm better of being by myself for a while. But there are times I am lonely whenever I see couples and remember what it feels like to be an "us". It's always good to find something that makes you feel like a part of a community and that you are a part of the world and that you matter. I wish you good luck in your journey.
I went through this process when all the lockdowns started. My friends don’t really understand me when I try to explain it, but this video puts it perfectly. Loving the content Cole! Stay healthy
I've been meditating for about two years now and got into minimalism. This habit shaped my identity based on MY opinion and perspective on my life rather than others’. The problem with always being with people is that there is no time to reflect on yourself or think about what you want to achieve in life. Thank you so much for making this video. Now I feel more motivated and ready to take on my journey.
100% agree on how our low self-image really has become the standard, how & why it's normalized to not love yourself without having a relationship, money, friends or status is absolutely NUTS this video is sooo important
narcissist culture -- vanity .... and it's only getting worse these latest generations >>> society upholds narcissism as its highest value .. so people only feel valued (self worth) via narcisstic endeavours >> its probably impossible to 'completetly' detach from society , and it might not even aid your overall happiness not having any friends and such .. but you could also try and make your own values .... but you will always care what others think to some degree because we are relational beings ... in a sick corrupted society , where even compassion has a narcisstic self serving role in society >> if you attend all the right rallies and 'show support' for all the right issues that make you look like a compassionate person you will be elevated in society -- serving your personal narcissism and vanity .. and thereby making you feel like a more worthwhile member of society
but these people dont really love themselves they love the 'image' of themselves for its functional role in sick society > like narcissus fell in love with his own image in the water
@@bill8383 DAMN loved this take, you brought in narcissus too!! killer example, it's true there will always be some element of caring of what other people think, which makes going against this force even harder narccism does play a role in whatever you are striving for as cole said it's so important to find a way to not go crazy overboard with it
The older I get I start to realize that caring about what other people think or just insulting myself was something I was used to and whats scarier to admit is that I was creating those hateful speech because Ive been doing it for a long time and I realized that my brain does it because it was used to the comfort and couldnt stop saying hateful things to me and it almost became normal to insult myself all the time.
Yup. I feel it is constantly on a loop in my brain. Youre unlovable. Youre weird and socially awkward. You dont deserve to exist. You are a bother to others. No one likes you. No point in saying anything since nobody cares what you have to say. Its infuriating. And I want it to stop. But dont know how.
My last relationship I found out that I couldn’t complete myself with someone. It was hard on me, but it was the truth. It’s still kind of hard to be on my own because it feels like I’ve been single forever.
You are alon, once you learn to be by yourself you learn that you do not need anyone else to be happy, they are like the plusses in life, good if they by yourside never missed if they dont
since your last video I've stopped watching porn, stopped smoking weed, and have put those bad habits behind me so that I can truly move forward with life, all I can say is that I'm so much happier and changed the things that were holding me back. as always, thank you Cole for making a difference in my life and many others, take care man.
I started watching you because of your addictive voice but later realised that I am exactly like you....and facing similar problems... thanks for giving me a new perspective everytime...I am 17!!
i was in a 5 year relationship, and i completely didnt love myself when that ended be cause i was really devastated and thought I am never gonna find my happiness again. i am 27 now and i m restarting fresh. thank god i found this video and this sir right here is a gem of a person to be helping us out through his videos
This sounds eerily similar to what I did a few years ago. Once you start to reap the rewards and see that life is truly beautiful, nothing is more satisfying.
This is the thing I learned in 2020 "the worst thing you can do to yourself is when you define your self worth based on the people opinion about you".....
One hour ago, I have finished one heavy session with my therapist realizing how much I conditioned myself to be happy only by waiting a miracle. And my therapist kind of slapped the truth on my face by telling I have to learn how to be happy with myself and stop hating who I am. Then, I opened the RUclips and the first video that came to my screen was yours. After watching it, I am truly inspired by your words and appreciated all the progress you have succeeded. Thank you so much for the honesty and sincere words of yours. Sending you my good energy and spirit!
First of all, I wanna say I'm so so happy for you and WELL DONE. To go from one extreme to the other in a short amount of time is INCREDIBLE. It is the toughest journey to endure, but once you've realised certain things like you said, you're complete on your own and no one can save you but you. Shit starts escalating drastically. I'm going to share this video with everyone I know, you explained this really well. Thank you !
I literally feel like you're an older version of myself. Your videos have so much substance for me because I feel literally the exact same way and have experienced what you have in similar ways that it's almost scary. I've harbored self hatred towards myself for a while and self love has been a process but a rewarding one. Blessed I found your vids and have steered me in the right direction. No idea where I'd be without you coming up in my recommended and I don't even want to imagine it. God bless you man
Yes, it takes time to be good to yourself. I stopped sabotaging myself and not being influenced by social media or negativity or others of what needs to be done. I have been following you and watching all your videos but this is your best video Cole! Thank you 👍😎
"Corn" is a vicious thing for sure. I'm learning about myself more at 53 than I did at your age. I wish I would have known this stuff when I was your age. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself, Cole, it's really helping!
I’ve been told quite often from a young age that I would do great things, always had top grades, athletic, switched on, after I left school I was in a relationship and things were going great , I was achieving and felt really happy . All of a sudden she decided to pack her things & leave. I took the blame completely , I became a complete mess, lost both my jobs, pretty much lost everything. That was 2 years ago, I’m pretty much at rock bottom, I’m 21 have nothing going for me anymore but previous achievements , I’m in this weird position where I don’t think I will ever be as good as I was and that I will never live up to people’s expectations of myself. Here’s to a new start, we got this
Be strong. You got this. I'm in a similar situation. I used to be in a great school, with good grades, a girlfriend and a lot of expectations on me. Obviously it didn't work and I failed my year at the university, I'm not with my girlfriend anymore, and I'm lost with this feeling of being a failure. It's hard to describe how lost I feel but that's the life. I'll keep moving forward even if I'm bleeding and on my knees. Love!
Just found your channel, instant sub 👍 the message you’re spreading NEEDS to be heard by every young person who is struggling in life or with loving themself. Keep up the good work brother ✊
God only knows how much I needed to hear this...this heartache is the worst type of torture but I know time heals everything and it will subside! Thanks Cole! SUBSCRIBED!
Man, you've managed to reach conclusions that I'm reaching at 36 after many traumatic experiences, and yet I still learn a lot from your insight. It's extremely laudable, so congrats on having become the person that you are today.
@@aramolina323 talking from my pov as a french guy and well i discussed it with my own therapist. I am 24 currently and had one before when i was around 10. I am one of those that go willingly because i am aware of being a wreck inside, but most won t even bother. Maybe because To justify it they would have To have a major crisis in their life and again... some want To deal with things on their own not admitting help would Feel good
I see. I live in Spain and even though mental health issues are highly stigmatized here (I know people in the UK and they can take mental health days off from work, that is like science fiction here), people seem to be quite aware of the fact that they need help.
This video is extremely well done. Your vid has something a lot of other self-help channels don't provide. Can't put my thumb on it, but there is something more humane and "fuller" in here.
"getting enough sleep" i wish i could, lately i have been sleeping horribly, can't fall asleep, waking up in the middle of the night, not sleeping through the night and nightmares all throughout the night, every single night. i feel and look like a zombie 🤕
Maybe you should try listening to music, relaxing sounds or some kind of meditation, I heard headspace is quite good but I'm sure there is a lot of other options.
Same, i've been going to bed later, because im currently out of work, and it's a bad habit, I'm trying to go to sleep earlier, but it's hard when you have nothing to wake up early for.
I wish I knew how to love myself. I have always anger toward my body. I guess it might be more clear to say I have all kinds of issues with my body. I can’t quite except but I don’t look the way I would like to look. That’s where I end up hating myself
I’m glad better help sponsored this video they are great. Love that you always tell us to apply what we learn and put it into action. Simply watching these won’t accomplish anything. Thank you.
I thanked RUclips for allowing me to see this content of yours. I've been at the same place. My boyfriend broke up with me last year and I'm literally all over the place. I had no one to talk to and even can't go out with friends. This pandemic made me realize a lot of things; to the point that I have to do some inner works, to be good at myself, and to love myself MORE. Let's normalize choosing ourselves.
I'd love the opportunity to just chat with you at a coffee shop! I'm also on a journey of self-love and being kind to myself. Love your content. Thanks for sharing your insights.
I desperately need to learn how to love myself. I’m so critical and out myself down. A prisoner to my own Mind. I’ve put myself through so much I deserve to enjoy my life and I owe it to myself to be kind to me. I wish the best to ask of you on your mental, spiritual, and physical health journeys. You are loved. Love thyself.
It’s like we’re sort of living the same life. Ended a relationship last year, worked hard on myself and so far being happy in my own space and skin. Far to go but great to start somewhere.
This covid breakdown has given me plenty of time on my own and so I used it to revaluate my life. I realized a lot of my negative thoughts are not actually mine but other people's that I've remembered because they were so outrageous and made such a negative impression on me that I couldn't forget them.
Cole, you are on your full purpose and sharing it with us help so many people that you may not have the actual idea. It's huge the impact and insight you just gave to me now and I thank you forever. I hope you get back from me this same energy, not in a sense of "need" but reciprocity. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you ❤️
Thanks again bro, Hope life across the pond is alright, iv always dreamt of visiting USA. Such lovely weather u guys get in the right parts. Your advice on this channel is PRICELESS to me & prob many others. Big Respect as always. I had a crappy childhood & gained a very negative belief system which has screwed me up for years. Tons of reading & channels especially like yours help one to understand & hopefully, like u say learn to love ourselves & live better lives. Soon you be on Million plus subs u deserve it. Peace G.
This helped me occasionally but I'm always scared of myself every time I finish some sort of "daring" project. It's a cycle of "satisfied, self-critical, depressed, gradually crawling toward the next out of comfort zone thing". Please, have you discovered anything to keep consistency in your habits/decisions/thoughts? Thanks.
@@destroyerinazuma96 In the present moment which is right now, there is no past or future, you're simply imagining it. Get it? Everything you see is in your consciousness. To explain: Every waking moment as much as possible, even after you've stepped out of your comfort zone and having whatever negative thought you're thinking, override it and focus FOCUS on positive thoughts that would make you FEEL GOOD. Do it as often as you can and then more and more and more then eventually it becomes a habit that you continuously use. Try meditation.
Very lucid and goods peaked. You are so open and honest and your video is about reality and not all of the extemporaneous mind numbing bullshit . A big thank you.
You’re a FUCKING KING bro, like Fr saw your vids when you had like 10k you’ve grown so much and these new videos are great! 🤌🏻 keep going man your certain to reach 1 mil 💯
One of your best videos. I've watched it 4 times already. Even though I know all of this and making significant changes its so reassuring to know that other people are in this same place
Girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. I broke no contact and found out she's happier with me , having new male friends and being around more guys. I feel replaced and I'm tired. I've always had ego problem but it's impossible to find a way out of this. I'm scared to go to sleep because when I wake up, I have to fight the emotions again and try to be happy. I cried everyday for the last 2 months. I'm tried. I've been praying for death because I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. There's no way out for me.
This is good content. My girlfriend broke up with me last month (10 year relationship). I was young when I entered it (at 18, I’m now 28) and I really never learned how to love myself. Now, it’s only been a month, but I feel like a change is forming. I always thought that I needed to leech love from her in order to be happy, but that wasn’t the right way to go about it. Now I sit in my thoughts and ponder on my past relationship and figure out what I did wrong. Hoping it works out, but who knows. Only the universe can tell.
I'm at a point in my life that I really wanna improve my communication skills and this video is exactly what I needed at the moment, thanks for again another great video and advice. Much love!
What I discovered about communication is that even if you barely interact with others it's incredibly useful to know how to break down abstract ideas and formulate thoughts. At least, it might help with a better understanding of what one wants out of life.
I used to hate myself too (maybe we all do at some point). I would tell myself that I was "weak." I would berate myself and put myself down. However, as soon as I started to work with myself, I got better. I would tell myself that everyone out there might not be rooting for me, so I might as well root for myself. If I try to tear myself down, what good will it make? I hope those struggling can find a way to work with yourselves.
Hey man, thank you for all that you do. Some people, myself included, really need to hear the stuff you're putting out there. You're making a difference.
I’ve been binge watching your videos all week and am really inspired to make a change. Gonna quit smoking weed, go on no fap, take cold showers every morning, and start journaling. Maybe throw in some meditation here and there. Wish me luck!
I can only say that personally I've been in this process for about three years and it's still gonna take some more time. If you're just starting this journey that may sound super long, but it's a true adventure, and I promise this is the most worthwhile way to spend your time. Thank you Cole for uploading this video.
It’s hard for some to love themselves by being alone. You should love yourself by being emotionally independent and doing what you love doing. Your happiness should not be based on other peoples views of you, because they are just as self conscious!
I don’t know if you’ve done this topic yet, but you should do a video on Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. This needs more light as many of us feel internally evil, never being able to fit into the ideal moral behaviors pushed on to us.
I loved how you said to treat yourself like you would a loved one - spend time with them, make sure they’re looking after their well-being, eat right, sleeping, having a goal Thank you
Thank you so much for these vids, man. I've kind of caught myself in another slump and this got me revved up to start being better with my self and my health. Thanks Cole
Your video are so deep that you gotta watch them more than twice and different moment in life.. Honestly as soon as my pocket are right im gonna support you bro!
Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think You've been buried but you've actually been planted.💫
Wow ❤️
I love this 🥺
I like that
That hit hard for me.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see #deep #inspirational
We aren’t born with insecurities. People tell us what we are and we slowly begin to believe them.
Nobody told me the stuff I hate myself for jow (and I think I'm in the wrong for that, but can't help it) and I still feel like this now :( And I also lost hope it'll gte better in that regard x-x
That's BS, you say it like it's always false and it actually hurts when you know that they're telling you the truth. Let's take responsability and assume that we suck sometimes.
@@jonafic he was talking about insecurities. You can suck, and not be insecure about it. 😊
In other words, we get gaslighted to believe that we're not good, and the people responsible for telling us this aren't any better nor different than they claim. It takes a lot of insecurity to say such hurtful things to another person. @Jonathan A, you pretty much proved my point to some extent. The only thing I do have to keep in mind is that people did make poor decisions while under such derogatory beliefs. At the very least, people must take responsibility to overcome the inner troubles we were instilled partially by others and persisted by our hands. Even "truth" can change when you're willing to accept what really is, and still persist to learn from our mistakes and not give up our path to change for the better without hating ourselves for past actions either done by our hands or caused by others. We started out as kids, and of course we were immature, but some people that we met have proven that they are not as mature as they claimed. Why would an insecure and hurt person tear someone down? Because they were hurt and they can't tell who's responsible, so they focus their anger on everyone else. It's flawed learned behavior being passed on to others, and it even extends to adults who didn't overcome their problems during their adolescences and teenaged years.
I can accept I am a person that made mistakes, but I won't accept being forced to believe I'll never learn and ultimately overcome them. That part was forced on me by immature people who took their issues out on me and countless other people. I know I'm not special, because I know some people who became cruel or assumed that specific learned behavior of such hurtful sorts has done that to others. It's the same old story, passed on through multiple forms of derogatory means. Even Racism counts as well as others, because of certain beliefs that people persist to push on others different from them and not like-minded as them. All I know is that I never asked people to call me such hurtful names, I was only a child that learned things differently and emulated differently than others, I was innocent and got too imaginative that it did distort my reality for a time. The challenge was realizing all this time that those kids that made called me names had learned things differently and they emulated behaviors that they didn't even realize that some of the things they did was a bad thing and never questioned it. Some kids had tragedies and terrible environments pushed their minds in a dark place and didn't have an outlet for their sadness and anger and how they saw people in the world. I was unable to see this back then compared to now because I thought I was no good because of the criticism of kids to adults made of my innocent actions as a kid for being too imaginative and struggling to learn things. I was misunderstood and their ridicule made me felt so terrible and I had not developed a way to not care about their words, since I had a time using my mind due to Asperger's. I took it too hard, possibly more than I thought.
I'd rather not tell myself I suck, because it was that kind of stuff that made me so down in the first place. I'll admit to making mistakes and learn how to learn from my actions, but I'm not going to accept a lifestyle that criticizes yourself to an unhealthy level and takes it inward more than learning from what was done to me and what I have done and move on a better person than in the past. Self-harm internally and externally is no way to live.
@@leon4000 my point was very specific towards the comment up above, it’s pretty basic and nihilistic, we are blaming people for letting us know when we suck at something, and actually I think the opposite would be even worse. You would raise more people like those who think they own the world because everything they do is perfect. People have to deal with their inner dark side in other to keep improving themselves. I agree with you in many things you said, but even something like insecurities are necessary in this life.
“You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
In the end, hating ourselves also means that we can only love others half-heartedly. As a Buddhist saying goes: we can only see in others what we found in ouselves
That's something that's been hard to work on lately. I'm trying to remember things like this. Thank you for posting. 💙
wow, thanks for sharing this powerful insight
Can't recall whose quote is this but I've once read "if you hate yourself, how can you love others?" Probably a variation of the buddhist saying you mentioned.
@@destroyerinazuma96 I love my family, friends and such with my deeds despite me not being a fan of myself.
@@VoidDweller86 to be honest, same here. Guess the paradox remains. Could be because one developed family love as a child, before depression kicks in. Iirc statistically short of early neglect/abuse/trauma, a person's most vulnerable to stuff like depression in their teens. Yet while self-loathing may begin, feelings for family/close friends stay the same.
I always feel anxious in public , I sweat a lot and I struggle to maintain eye contact. I always feel like I’m inferior and unworthy of love . Thanks a lot for this video. This shit really hit home.
Look yourself and treat yourself like someone you would be responsible for (a child, a pet).
That's the most powerful way to start loving yourself.
Or hate, if I had to take care of a child ai would probably start hating it very soon.
Did you get this advice from 12 rules for life?
@@haidarfakih6796 yes
I practiced this. My mental health is getting better, today however I failed, I don't know why I came home depressed and started drinking again. But tommorow is a new day and every day is a new oppertunity so fuck this shit, we'll keep going again
I feel like I'm lying to myself when I say something positive about me in the mirror
I hate how I made myself believe my relationship was everything. I was my top self when I was dating my ex. Working out, meditating, working, school, and still having the time to see her as often as I can. Once I asked her to move in with me, she decided to end the 3 1/2 year relationship. I was confused and lost and went down what it seemed to be an endless spiral of sadness at only 18. Im about to be 21 in november and I want to say nows the time to get over it completely. I am retraining myself to do all the things I did for her, like workout and get money, for me now.
Good luck man, you can do it. Become a Chad and forget about her 🔥🔥🔥
Just some advice man, there’s many girls out there and perhaps there’d be a few that would truly ride for you. You can have your times with some girls but the relationship doesn’t work out, keep moving on. Walk with your chin up and your chest out, never stop training and making money, and don’t lose faith that you’ll find the right girl. I’ve had many bad relationships and now I’m in the best relationship of my life going on 2 years strong. I admit I’m not working on myself as much as i need to but I’ll get there.
Atleast you had the taste of a relationship. Idk what that even is.
Bro you’re still young as fuck maybe you’re looking for a long term partner to get serious with but not every girl is don’t take it personal, and you feeling your best in a relationship is simply confidence. If you want one then by all means look for one, but remember you’re still the same person when you’re alone and when you’re with someone. This girl may have brought out a positive side of you but she only showed you what was already there my man just go and live life and even try something you won’t enjoy and then you’ll figure out what you want just keep telling yourself you’re good enough to get it because you are
Wow boss. Im 22 and went thru the same thing, just a little earlier. Keep pushing brother.
Sometimes you have to lose yourself, in order to find yourself.
I was down horrendous last year too, broke up with my gf, couldn’t see my dad, lost money, had to delay my last semester of engineering, was left with no friends, but today I feel way better
Good shit!
👋🙏
My biggest missing piece (besides no friends, no gf) is a lack of purpose. Everything I do feels pointless and worthless. Spending time alone, therapy, eating healthy, exercise, meditation, spending time outside, no addictions is no problem. But everything else I do and try feels completely worthless, and it's extremely frustrating.
that's me basically, i have the same problem, been working on it but it is hard
You have no responsibility?
i feel like im just working through this to get money so then i can at least have money and be miserable versus being broke and miserable
i litterally cried so hard last night wanting to disappear and this is the video i needed, thank you so much cole
I know what it feels like I hope you feel better you will get thorough this
Don't be sad, friend
The growth is insane bro good shit for pushing thru those dark times like a real soldier 💪🏿
Thanks brother
Most soldiers have no idea how to regulate their emotions and are depressed asf - He's a King.
@@AddedPrayer and they also have the ability to stand and act , in one of the most terrifying situations possible for a human being.. a warzone -- most without wetting themselves or running away .. so that's impressive
It's really brave of you to point out your relapses. Sometimes I get really envious of self help RUclipsrs because they seem so "above it all," but you manage to bridge the gap between yourself and viewers, seeing them as equals rather than loyal subjects. A pleasure to be alongside you and everyone else on this journey 🙏
I’m a 20 year old black young women, I’ve been struggling with self hate for such a longggg time now, and I realized after watching your video, that it’s been everything as a whole, my parents, society, social media, that has made me truly hate myself and who I am. I am not deemed as feminine because I’m black, I’m not soft because I’m black, and it’s very difficult on my mental health because I am the total opposite from hard, I’m very sensitive and easy to feel sad and to cry, but everytime I feel this way, it’s stop crying, stop this stop that, a lot. Thank you so much for your channel, thank you for helping others!
“Adult websites” 100% of the time destroy a mans confidence. This presentation was excellent
Straight men I guess… porn is perfectly healthy
100% Makes me feel like inadequate shit.
And a woman’s self esteem!
That is medieval age pseudoscience. It is a biological function that you don’t need to suppress.
@@consciouspresence5880 nope 👎
I graduated from highschool last year, and my parents have been constantly pushing me to work a 9-5 job, or get a college degree in computer science (because I'm good at math). Recently it's been a lot easier to not allow their expectations of me to define me. I started college in January, going into a computer science degree, and my first semester was abysmal. I failed three of my classes, a feat which caused a ruckus with my parents, because I got a 3.9 GPA in highschool. As of right now, 4 months later, I know that I want to study psychology, and learn Japanese. Both of which my parents say aren't practical/won't get me a high paying job. But I don't care. 😁
Happiness over everything
@Eloise Coetzer Thank you! 👍
Yoo I'm gonna study phsycology too🙌
@@fireballdash2936 Good luck!
Man, start looking for ways to make money online. Learn about marketing, sales, copywriting, freelancing, etc. And start building something.
I quit my Engineering degree with 9 classes left and in two years I make more money then I ever would with a 9-5 and feel more free than ever before.
Gym is easily the best thing I’ve ever started, last January things changed for the better
Gym changed everything for me!
Dude same the gym literally saved me mentally but I also look better physically as I’ve put on lots of muscle do to weightlifting also my confidence got better as well
I wish it would work for me, for me it hadn't made any difference in two years so far.
After my break up i was fucked my ex cheated on me people told me I'm a failure had few friends but after 3 months of gym i started being less anxious amd depressed and people started acknowledging me
I recently started the gym aswell and has began to eat a bit better too, make more food. I am very skinny and I don't know if muscles will look good on me. I don't want to look masculine but since I enjoy doing group workouts at the gym I will continue it and also see if it comes with more positive changes. :)
This doesn't just apply to teenagers, im 38 and this is still valuable information to live by. Been on a whole food/cutting diet for a few weeks now training harder with less rest during workout. Ive now got in the best shape I've ever been in. Really enjoying my training these days.
*Most people sit around and wait for inspiration, just some rare people get up and get to work.*
*I may not know you personally, but I believe in you that you will succeed!* 🙏
Cole, I’m about a year older than you, but on the same exact journey my friend. Devastated from a break up and spiraled into a depression. I’m truly loving my self for the first time and my life has never been better.
Keep up the good journey. Love from your homie up north in Reno!
Rollo Tomasi
How old is he/you?
@@patrykstarter4879 Good one.
Cole can be a good therapist, love to hear his thoughts. He deserves more🔥
I'm surrounded by the people that gave me these thoughts and feelings and I cant just leave them. Your content and the other self help channels are greatly helpful as I know that I can live well and be happy without them. Keep posting your great content. Thx
this video is a bible for me, my girlfriend brokeup with me this march, was feeling the same worthlessness in me but now i feel like it had to happen. until we dont learn how to keep our self worth above everything and love ourselves we ll keep getting hurt by things. thanks cole, feels like i am not alone👏
Cole shows us that we all essentially have the same struggles, that we are all in this together on this journey.
Cole shows us that we all essentially have the same struggles, that we are all in this together on this journey.
Pain is something that we experience universally. But from that, something beautiful can emerge.
I relate to your growth and loving yourself after my 5 year relationship ended in January.
It's as if I woke up from a coma, and saw myself for the first time, and I didn't recognize myself. So I started reconnecting with friends and started swimming again which has just made me happier.
I also incorrectly thought that I wasn't complete until I found the one, but its more like a bonus. I know I'm complete and happy without someone else being there.
My 4 year long friendship and relationship ended recently too. My mind was clouded for about a week until I decided that I need to be in charge. I can’t be happy with someone else if I am not happy with myself.
I am planning to be by myself for a while, even distancing from friends. I have already started my journey towards betterment but sometimes I find myself lost again. Any suggestions on this?
@@bppb4198 To be honest I don't know. I just try to take it day by day. I try to remember what it is I like to do things I like and remind myself that I'm better of being by myself for a while. But there are times I am lonely whenever I see couples and remember what it feels like to be an "us".
It's always good to find something that makes you feel like a part of a community and that you are a part of the world and that you matter. I wish you good luck in your journey.
@@angieorozco94 thankyou.
I went through this process when all the lockdowns started. My friends don’t really understand me when I try to explain it, but this video puts it perfectly. Loving the content Cole! Stay healthy
I've been meditating for about two years now and got into minimalism. This habit shaped my identity based on MY opinion and perspective on my life rather than others’. The problem with always being with people is that there is no time to reflect on yourself or think about what you want to achieve in life. Thank you so much for making this video. Now I feel more motivated and ready to take on my journey.
100% agree on how our low self-image really has become the standard, how & why it's normalized to not love yourself without having a relationship, money, friends or status is absolutely NUTS this video is sooo important
narcissist culture -- vanity .... and it's only getting worse these latest generations >>> society upholds narcissism as its highest value .. so people only feel valued (self worth) via narcisstic endeavours >> its probably impossible to 'completetly' detach from society , and it might not even aid your overall happiness not having any friends and such .. but you could also try and make your own values .... but you will always care what others think to some degree because we are relational beings ... in a sick corrupted society , where even compassion has a narcisstic self serving role in society >> if you attend all the right rallies and 'show support' for all the right issues that make you look like a compassionate person you will be elevated in society -- serving your personal narcissism and vanity .. and thereby making you feel like a more worthwhile member of society
but these people dont really love themselves they love the 'image' of themselves for its functional role in sick society > like narcissus fell in love with his own image in the water
@@bill8383 DAMN loved this take, you brought in narcissus too!! killer example, it's true there will always be some element of caring of what other people think, which makes going against this force even harder narccism does play a role in whatever you are striving for as cole said it's so important to find a way to not go crazy overboard with it
The older I get I start to realize that caring about what other people think or just insulting myself was something I was used to and whats scarier to admit is that I was creating those hateful speech because Ive been doing it for a long time and I realized that my brain does it because it was used to the comfort and couldnt stop saying hateful things to me and it almost became normal to insult myself all the time.
Yup. I feel it is constantly on a loop in my brain. Youre unlovable. Youre weird and socially awkward. You dont deserve to exist. You are a bother to others. No one likes you. No point in saying anything since nobody cares what you have to say. Its infuriating. And I want it to stop. But dont know how.
My last relationship I found out that I couldn’t complete myself with someone. It was hard on me, but it was the truth. It’s still kind of hard to be on my own because it feels like I’ve been single forever.
Going through this currently, super hard
You are alon, once you learn to be by yourself you learn that you do not need anyone else to be happy, they are like the plusses in life, good if they by yourside never missed if they dont
When you live some difficult times like me YES you’re a therapy. Thank you for your amazing work Cole !!
Thank you for watching
@@ColeHastings keep showering your thoughts . We love you❤️
Best advice I've ever been given: You control your desires, your desires don't control you
since your last video I've stopped watching porn, stopped smoking weed, and have put those bad habits behind me so that I can truly move forward with life, all I can say is that I'm so much happier and changed the things that were holding me back. as always, thank you Cole for making a difference in my life and many others, take care man.
Thank you for taking action to live a better life. Proud of you
I started watching you because of your addictive voice but later realised that I am exactly like you....and facing similar problems... thanks for giving me a new perspective everytime...I am 17!!
i was in a 5 year relationship, and i completely didnt love myself when that ended be cause i was really devastated and thought I am never gonna find my happiness again. i am 27 now and i m restarting fresh. thank god i found this video and this sir right here is a gem of a person to be helping us out through his videos
This sounds eerily similar to what I did a few years ago. Once you start to reap the rewards and see that life is truly beautiful, nothing is more satisfying.
“The most important conversations you have in your life are not with others but are worth your self “
This is the thing I learned in 2020 "the worst thing you can do to yourself is when you define your self worth based on the people opinion about you".....
One hour ago, I have finished one heavy session with my therapist realizing how much I conditioned myself to be happy only by waiting a miracle. And my therapist kind of slapped the truth on my face by telling I have to learn how to be happy with myself and stop hating who I am. Then, I opened the RUclips and the first video that came to my screen was yours. After watching it, I am truly inspired by your words and appreciated all the progress you have succeeded. Thank you so much for the honesty and sincere words of yours. Sending you my good energy and spirit!
First of all, I wanna say I'm so so happy for you and WELL DONE. To go from one extreme to the other in a short amount of time is INCREDIBLE. It is the toughest journey to endure, but once you've realised certain things like you said, you're complete on your own and no one can save you but you. Shit starts escalating drastically.
I'm going to share this video with everyone I know, you explained this really well. Thank you !
Thank you so much
Randomly got on this guys channel, now iam hooked. Never saw someone who has such deep knowledge.
10 years plus on YT, he is the BEST!
I literally feel like you're an older version of myself. Your videos have so much substance for me because I feel literally the exact same way and have experienced what you have in similar ways that it's almost scary. I've harbored self hatred towards myself for a while and self love has been a process but a rewarding one. Blessed I found your vids and have steered me in the right direction. No idea where I'd be without you coming up in my recommended and I don't even want to imagine it. God bless you man
You’re one of the RUclipsrs that can actually be proud of himself man!!!! You really helped me a lot ❤
Yes, it takes time to be good to yourself. I stopped sabotaging myself and not being influenced by social media or negativity or others of what needs to be done. I have been following you and watching all your videos but this is your best video Cole! Thank you 👍😎
"Corn" is a vicious thing for sure. I'm learning about myself more at 53 than I did at your age. I wish I would have known this stuff when I was your age. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself, Cole, it's really helping!
I’ve been told quite often from a young age that I would do great things, always had top grades, athletic, switched on, after I left school I was in a relationship and things were going great , I was achieving and felt really happy . All of a sudden she decided to pack her things & leave. I took the blame completely , I became a complete mess, lost both my jobs, pretty much lost everything. That was 2 years ago, I’m pretty much at rock bottom, I’m 21 have nothing going for me anymore but previous achievements , I’m in this weird position where I don’t think I will ever be as good as I was and that I will never live up to people’s expectations of myself. Here’s to a new start, we got this
Similar situation , I was number 1 in sport in my country, i Got injured and i lost myself
Hey man, you didnt put a kid in her; the world is still very much your oyster
Be strong. You got this. I'm in a similar situation. I used to be in a great school, with good grades, a girlfriend and a lot of expectations on me. Obviously it didn't work and I failed my year at the university, I'm not with my girlfriend anymore, and I'm lost with this feeling of being a failure. It's hard to describe how lost I feel but that's the life. I'll keep moving forward even if I'm bleeding and on my knees. Love!
Just found your channel, instant sub 👍 the message you’re spreading NEEDS to be heard by every young person who is struggling in life or with loving themself. Keep up the good work brother ✊
Thank you
God only knows how much I needed to hear this...this heartache is the worst type of torture but I know time heals everything and it will subside! Thanks Cole! SUBSCRIBED!
Thank you
Been at the all time low. Deleting social media and trying to be happy again. Thanks cole
If you down now just remember it’s just a moment the good thing about a moment is that it is temporary and it will make you stronger 💯❤️
Honestly at a super low point in my life after a recent breakup hope I can feel the same with putting in the same work you did
Man, you've managed to reach conclusions that I'm reaching at 36 after many traumatic experiences, and yet I still learn a lot from your insight. It's extremely laudable, so congrats on having become the person that you are today.
Dont worry the average people going to see a therapist willingly are around their 40s
Maybe over there, but I live in Europe and have met plenty of people in their 20s and 30s who seeked professional help out of their own accord.
@@aramolina323 talking from my pov as a french guy and well i discussed it with my own therapist. I am 24 currently and had one before when i was around 10. I am one of those that go willingly because i am aware of being a wreck inside, but most won t even bother. Maybe because To justify it they would have To have a major crisis in their life and again... some want To deal with things on their own not admitting help would Feel good
I see. I live in Spain and even though mental health issues are highly stigmatized here (I know people in the UK and they can take mental health days off from work, that is like science fiction here), people seem to be quite aware of the fact that they need help.
This video is extremely well done. Your vid has something a lot of other self-help channels don't provide. Can't put my thumb on it, but there is something more humane and "fuller" in here.
This guy just maxed out his productivity bar. I can't believe how he can but out heavy content in such regular basis
I tolerate myself. That's the best he can ask for.
"getting enough sleep"
i wish i could, lately i have been sleeping horribly, can't fall asleep, waking up in the middle of the night, not sleeping through the night and nightmares all throughout the night, every single night. i feel and look like a zombie 🤕
Maybe you should try listening to music, relaxing sounds or some kind of meditation, I heard headspace is quite good but I'm sure there is a lot of other options.
Melatonin
Bro i was in the same place, try melatonin that shit save me, try meditation, dont watch cellphone or tv 1 hour before going to bed.
This hit me on an emotional level. I'm sorry you're going through this. It really really sucks - deal with the same.
Same, i've been going to bed later, because im currently out of work, and it's a bad habit, I'm trying to go to sleep earlier, but it's hard when you have nothing to wake up early for.
This made me cry. Thank you so much for being supportive to others.
*Everybody deserves to love themselves* 👏🏼👏🏼
So true 🥺❤️
Nope i just hate myself and im questioning why im alive
@@LavishedEgg
Listen to your favourite song - music alone is a reason to be alive
@@ShoaibKhan-bz5qm until you break up with someone you thought was the one and all the songs are ruined because they just remind you of them :(
@@clownanonymous6174
ouch - but it is a chance to cherish the great moments you had as a moment in time
I wish I knew how to love myself. I have always anger toward my body. I guess it might be more clear to say I have all kinds of issues with my body. I can’t quite except but I don’t look the way I would like to look. That’s where I end up hating myself
This is one of the best videos i have ever watched in my life, every sentence is on point, said in a genuine way. Really appreciate all your work bro.
Appreciate the vulnerability and honesty Cole!
Refreshing and so true
Even though I love myself and luckily haven’t suffered from depression, I love this channel, self betterment should be everyone’s priority always
I’m glad better help sponsored this video they are great. Love that you always tell us to apply what we learn and put it into action. Simply watching these won’t accomplish anything. Thank you.
Thank you, I'm really happy betterhelp did too
Im still a kid and I feel like I'm not gonna go down the superficial path thanks to you. Great vid
I thanked RUclips for allowing me to see this content of yours. I've been at the same place. My boyfriend broke up with me last year and I'm literally all over the place. I had no one to talk to and even can't go out with friends. This pandemic made me realize a lot of things; to the point that I have to do some inner works, to be good at myself, and to love myself MORE. Let's normalize choosing ourselves.
Cole is the savior of our society!!! You come around when im down, im guilty of not doing these things. I need to get more sleep!
I'd love the opportunity to just chat with you at a coffee shop! I'm also on a journey of self-love and being kind to myself. Love your content. Thanks for sharing your insights.
I'd take her to a coffee shop lmao
I desperately need to learn how to love myself. I’m so critical and out myself down. A prisoner to my own Mind. I’ve put myself through so much I deserve to enjoy my life and I owe it to myself to be kind to me. I wish the best to ask of you on your mental, spiritual, and physical health journeys. You are loved. Love thyself.
It’s like we’re sort of living the same life. Ended a relationship last year, worked hard on myself and so far being happy in my own space and skin. Far to go but great to start somewhere.
Good luck bhai 🙂
@@earnestlyaditya4261 thanks :D to you too
Good luck guys
bro sam i got broken up with in march and then moved out 😳
im really obsessed with this creator
This covid breakdown has given me plenty of time on my own and so I used it to revaluate my life. I realized a lot of my negative thoughts are not actually mine but other people's that I've remembered because they were so outrageous and made such a negative impression on me that I couldn't forget them.
Cole, you are on your full purpose and sharing it with us help so many people that you may not have the actual idea. It's huge the impact and insight you just gave to me now and I thank you forever. I hope you get back from me this same energy, not in a sense of "need" but reciprocity. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you ❤️
I get hella good energy from all of you. I really appreciate it
Thanks again bro, Hope life across the pond is alright, iv always dreamt of visiting USA. Such lovely weather u guys get in the right parts. Your advice on this channel is PRICELESS to me & prob many others. Big Respect as always. I had a crappy childhood & gained a very negative belief system which has screwed me up for years. Tons of reading & channels especially like yours help one to understand & hopefully, like u say learn to love ourselves & live better lives. Soon you be on Million plus subs u deserve it. Peace G.
Dude it's crazy how much wisdom and life experience you have for someone so young. Thanks for posting.
What I did to stop hating myself was positive self talk and getting out of my comfort zone. Day 5 of nofap btw.
King
This helped me occasionally but I'm always scared of myself every time I finish some sort of "daring" project. It's a cycle of "satisfied, self-critical, depressed, gradually crawling toward the next out of comfort zone thing". Please, have you discovered anything to keep consistency in your habits/decisions/thoughts? Thanks.
@@destroyerinazuma96 In the present moment which is right now, there is no past or future, you're simply imagining it. Get it? Everything you see is in your consciousness. To explain: Every waking moment as much as possible, even after you've stepped out of your comfort zone and having whatever negative thought you're thinking, override it and focus FOCUS on positive thoughts that would make you FEEL GOOD. Do it as often as you can and then more and more and more then eventually it becomes a habit that you continuously use. Try meditation.
@@BaconPvP101 thanks, I'll look into it.
Very lucid and goods peaked. You are so open and honest and your video is about reality and not all of the extemporaneous mind numbing bullshit . A big thank you.
You are so fuccking good, thanks very much for what you are doing for us
Your honesty and openness is an inspiration.
You’re a FUCKING KING bro, like Fr saw your vids when you had like 10k you’ve grown so much and these new videos are great! 🤌🏻 keep going man your certain to reach 1 mil 💯
One of your best videos. I've watched it 4 times already. Even though I know all of this and making significant changes its so reassuring to know that other people are in this same place
Girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. I broke no contact and found out she's happier with me , having new male friends and being around more guys. I feel replaced and I'm tired. I've always had ego problem but it's impossible to find a way out of this. I'm scared to go to sleep because when I wake up, I have to fight the emotions again and try to be happy. I cried everyday for the last 2 months. I'm tried. I've been praying for death because I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. There's no way out for me.
Sup
How are you doing now?
Bro I hope u made it
This guy is the modern day gem of RUclips.💎
Truly value your content Cole.
Would love to get to know a person like you.❤️👍
This is good content. My girlfriend broke up with me last month (10 year relationship). I was young when I entered it (at 18, I’m now 28) and I really never learned how to love myself. Now, it’s only been a month, but I feel like a change is forming. I always thought that I needed to leech love from her in order to be happy, but that wasn’t the right way to go about it. Now I sit in my thoughts and ponder on my past relationship and figure out what I did wrong. Hoping it works out, but who knows. Only the universe can tell.
Jokes on her, she is 28yo single, wall is coming. Thats not joke for women.
@@p2p104 lol I can already tell that your high standards for women has already kicked you into a hole that’s only built for yourself huh
Your videos are pure gold man.
I'm at a point in my life that I really wanna improve my communication skills and this video is exactly what I needed at the moment, thanks for again another great video and advice. Much love!
What I discovered about communication is that even if you barely interact with others it's incredibly useful to know how to break down abstract ideas and formulate thoughts. At least, it might help with a better understanding of what one wants out of life.
@@destroyerinazuma96 True words. As we discover how our thought process and brain works, we can adapt to it and make the best of it!
Thank you man! I teared up because it resonates so much! Please don't ever stop making videos.
I used to hate myself too (maybe we all do at some point). I would tell myself that I was "weak." I would berate myself and put myself down. However, as soon as I started to work with myself, I got better. I would tell myself that everyone out there might not be rooting for me, so I might as well root for myself. If I try to tear myself down, what good will it make? I hope those struggling can find a way to work with yourselves.
Hey man, thank you for all that you do. Some people, myself included, really need to hear the stuff you're putting out there. You're making a difference.
SUB COUNT RISING!!!! Keep grinding love to see it 🙏🏾 love the videos
Thanks king
@@ColeHastings What was that book on primitivism that you talked about in another video?
@@nicofioretta3707 a people's history of civilization
2 GOATS 🗣
I’ve been binge watching your videos all week and am really inspired to make a change. Gonna quit smoking weed, go on no fap, take cold showers every morning, and start journaling. Maybe throw in some meditation here and there. Wish me luck!
Thank you for not becoming a red piller or an incel after the breakup and spreading hate! 😀 great message 👏
What is a "red piller"?
I can only say that personally I've been in this process for about three years and it's still gonna take some more time. If you're just starting this journey that may sound super long, but it's a true adventure, and I promise this is the most worthwhile way to spend your time. Thank you Cole for uploading this video.
youre such a good person! thanks for your videos
That’s awesome man. People are too hard on themselves and forget that your 20s are a learning process and it’s normal to not be grown up by 30.
It’s hard for some to love themselves by being alone. You should love yourself by being emotionally independent and doing what you love doing. Your happiness should not be based on other peoples views of you, because they are just as self conscious!
10:57 love that sweater. the scene looks psychedelic af
I don’t know if you’ve done this topic yet, but you should do a video on Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. This needs more light as many of us feel internally evil, never being able to fit into the ideal moral behaviors pushed on to us.
I loved how you said to treat yourself like you would a loved one - spend time with them, make sure they’re looking after their well-being, eat right, sleeping, having a goal
Thank you
Thank you so much for these vids, man. I've kind of caught myself in another slump and this got me revved up to start being better with my self and my health. Thanks Cole
Your video are so deep that you gotta watch them more than twice and different moment in life.. Honestly as soon as my pocket are right im gonna support you bro!