I'm currently working on this right now. 1) I quit dating apps 2) I quit p*&n 3) I overhauled my social media feeds 4) I started learning guitar 5) I meditate 6) stop using technology before sleeping and going to sleep earlier and getting up earlier
God bless man, I'm taking a screenshot of your comment to inspire myself - it's the same path that I want to follow but lacking discipline, mostly by the minor things
That's odd, I have found acting on my lust results in satisfying mental and physical liberation... But I mean with real people, not fake interactions. P*rn is generally fake and mentally lazy As George Michael sang "sex is natural, sex is good. not everybody does it but everybody should" I don't think lust is the enemy. I think falling prey to inauthentic outlets for your lust is, because it allows you to be manipulated by people you don't even know (of course being manipulated by those you do know isn't great either)
Mitch W. In Papillion Nebraska.....I want that very very badly. More than anything. What I really want is peace. Living in Lust every day gives you NO PEACE........NONE !!!!!!
i was a chronic porn addict. i had quit for 3 months one time. another time in my mid twenties about a year. once you build a steady and HEALTHY relationship with sex. where you never feel it and you can simply choose when and where and your no longer addicted or drawn to it. the feeling is no different. dont be misguiding people. you can still masterbate and watch porn on occasion at your discretion and still be a calm and liberated mind. i know it because ive battled with it for many many years now. leaving evrything behind instead of keeping it in your head knowing you have it at any time but have the power over it is way better and easier to come clean rather than being nofap or quitting altogether. tell me how do people quit smoking? nicotine patch. how are viruses and poisons defeated? administered in small doses or used against themselves to build the anti virus. solving something is never without itself. you need to use porn and masterbation to quit porn and masterbation. its all in the mind.
I would almost call this re-sexualizing my brain. When we sexualize stress, rage, and anxiety, we actually distract ourselves from our REAL sexuality as I see it. We rob ourselves of the gift. If I frame it this way, I don't feel like I'm giving something up, but rather gaining something.
Wonderfully put. I feel the same way. Our sexual instinct is a gift that gives us the energy and power to accomplish great feats, which result in pleasurable rewards, which are often ultimately sex. Take back your control and live for a better life ✊🏻
I’m now at 33 days sober from s*xual content. 102 days with no nicotine. 105 days from marijuana. And 64 days sober from alcohol. If you’re reading this, I believe in you.
So awesome dude, respect! I quit nicotine 5 years ago, alcohol 3, and now porn and sexual content is the last to go, been a few weeks. Luckily never got into marijuana. I'm sure the lens of life has vastly broadened for you even in this short period of time. Never look back, rise above your old self and live a satisfying life :) Much love
@@WhiteLavender425 I was smoking all the time, any chance I could get. I started to gradually smoke less and less until I was only using a little gravity bong. My main way of quitting that was just by not buying anymore and cutting off access to the people I usually smoked with. And by not dilly dallying and relaxing in my car for longer than I should have been.
@@nickrulof I dont smoke too much, but it feels like if I don't go out after work or if my GF isn't home, I have a stable consistent high the entire night. Not blasted, I only use flower, but still high enough to feel it and be lazy af. I live in a legal state with dispensaries down the block so I struggle with the ease of access. Thanks for your answer btw!
I got exposed to porn at the tender age of 7. It was one of the worst things to happen to me as a child, completely sexualised my mind and contributed to self esteem and anxiety issues later in life relating to my sexuality and in relationships.
@drick2480 That's part of the work of the Devil. Still,Kill and Destroy. What is sad about it is that for many of us, it starts right in our household, which is something that kinda prepetuats from generation in generation. Until, someone give us that click picture of truth/understanding, and make us break the cycle. ..Amen? Amen!!!🙏 Praise the Lord 🙌 📖 James 1:12-25 Kjv Let the wrestle be evidence that the spirit of God is working on you and working in you.👊❤️🔥
I am a female and I find these tips very useful for myself. Females struggle with hypersexuality as well, the only thing its kind of still a taboo to talk about.
Sadly for a lot of women the hypersexuality is the result of sexual abuse or mental illness. I obviously cannot speak for all but that is what happened to me and dealing with the shame of SA is hard enough without being shamed by so many people for my “body count.” I was in pain and not in control of myself. We can’t have honest conversations about it if people are going to further dehumanize us for being promiscuous.
@@adamkane7513Shut up. Most of the men watching this video would be highly promiscuous if we could have, early in life. Women can get sex more easily, that's basically the only difference. While a high body count isn't a great thing to have, doing something about your flaws and seeking to improve is a good idea. Of course, a woman trying to change her ways must also make the uncomfortable journey of learning about hypergamy, about why women often fawn over serial killers. The primal part of female sexuality can be just as dark and depraved as the male.
Wow. Never seen this channel before but as a therapist, I am impressed. Most people don’t understand the principle of defences, that often times masturbation and porn are used like a coping tool for uncomfortable feelings rather than honest sexual desire. Learning to work with these feelings can do wonders in rooting out the impulses.
As coping mechanisms go, you can do a lot worse than beating-off. I'd think a good therapist would recognize this, and encourage paying for the best porn possible. Well produced Ai curated porn makes masturbation more efficient and enjoyable. This makes coping with overwhelming emotions more effcient, leaving more time and emotional energy for identifying and dealing with root causes. Abstinence has the effect of driving people to other more harmful coping strategies, like drugs, alcohol, dating, and getting married. Lots of people end themselves when marriages fail. Few do so when Porn Hub goes down or starts censoring thier favorite kink. Figure it out folks....
I've been on this journey for 1 year. Some days are better than others, but I'm so happy with the progress I've made. I can confidently look people in the eyes and not walk around with shame anymore. Thanks for putting this message out into the world! More men need to hear this. I used to think quitting porn was impossible, but now I believe
@@thealterego1777at least for me porn was something that disconnected me from people, whenever I watched I felt corrupt and dirty and didn't want or feel like socialising with people or family, so I ended up isolating myself for years without talking about my life problems and making it look like I was doing just fine, also as explained in the video, you then use porn to cope with your life problems instead of dealing with them in a helpful way, so you end up not resolving those negative feelings and getting more dependent on porn, so a lose-lose situation. The fact of stopping using porn as a coping mechanism forces you to face the thoughts or feelings you are going through, and by doing so you can feel rewarded, and proud of yourself, I personally feel more open to talk with my partner or friends about my issues or negative thoughts, also I feel like recognising your problem with porn and talking with close friends about it also helps you to let go of your pride, recognise you are not perfect and that you need help and people next to you, at the end humans were made to be in community. So by doing so, you learn to be more vulnerable and to ask and accept help from other, which leads you to also see others with compassion and help them too in their journey of life, whatever they are going through. Doing these things leads you to a more meaningful life, full of beauty and purpose, which I could have never imagined before.
I’m about a year into my journey too! Everyday I feel better and better and I genuinely appreciate the little things. It’s so freeing to not be controlled by online consumption.
May God bless you, sustain you and allow you to feel His presence .. it doesn't matter how many times we fall, but the times we get up, and He is always there to hold out his hand to us ..
I personally find that feeling of boredom brutal to sit with. I have the unrealistic expectation that I have to be achieving something at all minutes of the day.
@@markthompson1796cos society has taught u that your worth is based on the work you provide. Partly true if you like at it whilst in the matrix. Once you exit the matrix you realise every living creature has equal value and scientifically must as physics tells us we are one.
Exactly as you say, it comes from within. The problem is the lack of meaning in our lives, and this in turn comes from the lack of God in our lives. We are created to seek Him, and when we don't, we replace Him with false idols, like the p*rn , which eventually destroy us ..
@7chanconn7 That's not entirely true...Poor coping mechanisms and/or trauma may lead someone to seek out and engage with addictive substances, but the substance itself is innately addictive, such as porn, heroin, nicotine, etc. This is why it's soooo difficult to absolve ourselves of habitual wantonness: the negative feedback loop is like a vice that has a stranglehold on your neurological systems as well as your faulty coping abilities.
I’m a woman and I am subscribing because these conversations require all of us doing the work. Super appreciate how you share this wisdom and how it relates to us all. This is absolutely invaluable! Thank you for your authenticity 🙏🏽
men's minds have been hijacked by sexualised content the same way women's bodies have been deformed for the same reason, consequence is relationships (both romantic and platonic) have since collapsed - thank you for this video 🖤
@@StrongLikeVegeta dunno that the pendulum has to swing completely in the other direction via religion, but yes, i hear you and glad you've found what works for you
Yeah im so sick of it. Since years im Not getting involved in anything. Its Just stressful and uncomfortable to get aroused. Even when a girl Hits on me. Its Just stressful. Theres no Feelings of Love or anything. I just feel emotionally crippled.
Im finding this JUST in time. I legit was just thinking how sick and tired I am of looking at a female and thinking, "huh, I would date her." Where as I want to re-program my mind to instead see them not as a partner or sexualize a person but rather as an individual and wonder instead "hmm, i bet she's a good person and a good friend." THAT is my goal.
Wasted a decade of my life on CORN, I get off it for months and struggle as it seems everything in society is sexualized or oversexualized... this isn't healthy, training millions of men to only see & love women for the flesh instead of the spirit, the only real thing within them when the flesh is just an illusion. Now we see why CORN was banned for most of America's history.
"Huh, I would date her. " It's nice that your internal dialogue is civil and decent. Mine is out of control to the point of it manifesting physically, such as having to breaking eye contact when speaking with women. Then I have anxiety about the social interaction thinking that the person I was speaking with could tell what I was thinking.
This one little thing really turned me around -- when you "catch yourself in the act" about to act on that desire, then don't... it's a victory. And later that evening, the next day, whatever... when you think about being confronted with the challenge and then triumphing over it, you can tell it made you stronger. (i haven't looked at p*rn in ~ 5 months now, though I am still being frustrated by desire, i think the dating apps probably need to go... ) And yes, meditation is absolutely key... i'm realizing we're basically a society of insane people because meditation is a technology we should be learning as children
Sadly these days it seems like quitting dating apps is synonymous with being single and celibate. There simple is no other reliable way to meet women these days.
I've heard that dating apps are only successful for 3% of men. You guys should watch those types of videos. And in that area of YT, you'll also realize you don't WANT to meet women. Prn addiction is actually the better problem to have. "quitting dating apps is synonymous with being single and celibate. " That's likely because women are now just using dating apps to find the men they REALLY want. They never wanted us 97%.
What I learned (maybe will help you) is: the sexual thoughts are not the problem or to phrase it in another way: the sexual feelings are not bad. It's the thing that's beneath it. I am convinced that sexuality in it's original form is very good, pure and intended to be a lot of fun and healthy too. 😉
The images will always appear in our mind, that's not our fault, nor is it directly in our control. The problem is when we do not discard that image and, on the contrary, contemplate it. The second problem is what we decide to contemplate, and that depends on where our attention is focused, if we are distracted, well, in that case we are going to contemplate anything. On the other hand, if the source of our attention does not "feed" us, we will naturally look for other things. The only inexhaustible source of life is God, that's where our attention should be ..
If you're watching this, you're doing better than most people, a lot of people don't come face to face with their demons, and they'd rather hide it, but no, you're facing your demons, you're quitting what doesn't bring you happiness and fulfillment, and I wish you the best of luck.
I didn't search for this but I'm glad I came across it. It's just what I need right now. Here's to all you men and women here, finding your way back into gaining control over yourself again. We got this!
What I like about this talk: 1) it doesn't try to guilt or shame people and make them "feel bad" so they want change. Shame drives you BACK INTO the habit. 2) it doesn't criticize, mock, belittle, or shame the women or social media feeds it talks about. hate, scorn, and contempt drive you BACK INTO the habit. Don't use any of that negative energy. Don't hate yourself, don't hate others. Just sit and focus on your breathing and let it ALL pass through you. good stuff!
What do you mean by negative energy ? Because people will only try to change when they feel they are doing something wrong, right? And feeling something is wrong is negative energy, right? Also, I don't like how people are so afraid of criticism of bad things or things that encourage bad things. Should we also not criticize criminals and so on?!
@@MA-gu2up Yes, totally understand your questions. I used to feel the same way about reality: negative emotional states exist in order to help us see "bad things" so we can then correct them and become good. This seems to make sense. And so, we shame our children, dredge up the past and remind our spouses how they hurt us, or sit and feel depressed as a method of trying to fix our problems. All the while, our kids still disobey, our spouse still sucks, and our life is still miserable and sad. But there is a better way. I have discovered, from personal experience, that using guilt, shame, and regret not only are ineffective at stopping bad habits, but they actually drove me deeper into them, always. I was an addict of a few substances for a long time. I became free only when I stopped being addicted to guilt and shame as well. I no longer choose to use negative energy states (regret, frustration, annoyance, hate, guilt, anxiety) and my life and the lives of those around me have been improved. (understatement) Using guilt as a tool for change is what the world has been doing for thousands of years. Has it worked well? My suggestion this: try to be radical: use good to fight bad, not bad to fight bad. Try to forgive yourself and have peace. See if that helps you overcome your addictions better than guilt and shame. Best of luck on your journey and peace to you!
@MA-gu2up realizing, understanding, knowing something is wrong is fine. What is not fine is beating yourself up or others about it. For example, you understand being obese is bad. Is there a need to hate yourself for it? Take note that it is negatively impacting your life and identify the habits that drive you towards being an obese person. There is no need to shame yourself or others for being obese. Just work on creating healthier habit and lifestyle.
@@jeredmckenna But you think your addiction was a bad thing, right? Well, that is shaming yourself in a way. And if you are suggesting not thinking your behavior is wrong at all, then why would you change it? It isn't like you overcame your addiction by thinking that your addiction is a good thing, right? You must have thought you were doing something wrong. That is why you put effort into changing, right? Why would you change your addiction if you( being )addicted isn't a bad thing?
@@inuhundchien6041 Well, that is what I was saying, mostly. You recognize you are doing something wrong. If you accept what you are doing as a good thing, why would you change? I don't think you should be beating yourself, but I think a person should think he is wrong for doing this because people strive to change wrong things
I've been struggling with this issue for years. It consumes up a lot of energy and caused me grief, resementment, shame and hatred towards myself and the world. Despite I knew pretty much all the points addressed, I still felt understood at the most fundamental level and it was inspiring to listen to you. Thank you so much for phrasing it in such an authentic and precise way. I liked, subscribed and I hope this video helps many people.
I have a very strong opinion this very topic is destroying men at an alarming rate and is not discussed nearly enough. Thank you for your time and efforts to create and share this content. Keep up the good work.
Absolutely zero question it's destroying both men and women. The women creating porn on sites like OF lead an empty life. On back end it is destroying the lives of the consumer of it.
1. have a purpose on every wake up in the morning 2. Focus to get the job done. agree with airplane mode, because notification, message, and calls are annoys me. I'll rather check them while break. 3. I know it exhausting, and wanting to have access to Internet to see some fun, but... the key is have consciousness to say it is "enough" don't let them feeding. 4. Meditation. Agree, l use this to disconnect myself from this world. 5. Vacation without phone & internet Those are my best strategy.
Woman here! Very interesting stuff you're bringing up, love it. There was a point of my life where i thought watching p*** was the default for man and women so i got used to watching it. But it got to a point where i couldn't get sexually aroused by mental images or anything, to be honest, if not p***. That realization of "fuck, I've literally lost control over my sexual triggers" was the thing that made me go cold turkey. I decided i wouldn't watch p*** anymore. It takes a lot of time to find a video that you actually like (sometimes i would get to page 15 on p***hub 💀) and once i was done i felt so guilty about it. It's so insidious. Wasting precious time of my life for this? This ain't it. It's been 5 years and i haven't watched p*** since. I don't need it, im happy and I can enjoy my sexuality in healthy way. Love to all you men, you're awesome!
The funny thing about successfully de-sexualizing is that the pool of turn-ons gets even bigger and more simpler. For instance these videos of women cleaning the kitchen in short-shorts, whereas during high p0$n consumption one needed hardcore content to get that aroused. But that being said, the arousal itself is different, much healthier and more like the way you feel after a good laugh. Rather than a noose around your neck. Great video man.
From a different video, different channel: "@hiddengem12-o9s - 4 days ago The fact that nobody talks about the book Matrix Golden Cashflow Tactics, speaks volumes why people dont earn a lot of money.." Pretty sure all these comments are just a bunch of scams XD
Orrr people just make changes and don't feel the need to find some label or group to be a part of like "nofap" to be successful. Maybe it's because "nofap" just means being a normal mfer that hasn't been plagued by hypersexualization of media and watching porn their whole life
Thank you for speaking about this! It’s not just me who feels trapped in the confusion and dissonance of living with an abundance of sexualized energies, images, and marketing, but then to get burned, hooked, or shamed when that fuzzy line gets crossed and now we’re just engaged purely sexually. It’s a deliberate, confusing, and clever play on our psychology and biology, designed to put us off balance and disempowered.
It’s so disturbing how we know we are addicted to p*** to drown out misery from low self esteem and failure as it is in my case yet do very little to understand where the problem stems from and deal with it much more effectively. Thanks for getting right to the fountainhead of the problem and showing why the solution is really not dealing with the p*** problem itself, rather attacking what is fuelling the addiction and keeping it alive.
I mean honestly I think that has so much to do with the nature of the act itself and why we do it -- to medicate ourselves. Why should I research why this thing is wrong even if I do feel guilt and shame from it, when I could use it to numb myself and just not think at all? Rather, the whole point of porn and masturbation is primarily to numb and dull your thoughts and pain and fear, so when it's serving that purpose you've already submitted to the decision to ignore your feelings to the best of your ability. Btw I'm not mocking or chastising anyone who suffers from this cycle, because I did too. Being able to face our problems when it feels like it wouldn't ever end is very difficult, and for me the answer was in God. I am over a month free from porn and masturbation and have been spending that energy in prayer and time with God, letting Him re-write my life to have no room or place for porn or sexual addiction again. It has worked guys, not because God does whatever I ask in prayer, but because of the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical perspective change God brings when one makes the effort to fully surrender their troubles and investments and idols and everything else to Him. Not by giving everything away, but by simply choosing to not try and do it all alone. We weren't made to shoulder all the pain and suffering and work and problems of the world on our own, becuase inevitably we humans will fail eventually -- we are imperfect. Instead, we were made to allow God into our every problem so that together with Him we can succeed and do good. Contrary to popular belief, non-christians going to hell isn't exactly the wrathful divine punishment that we have come to think it is. It's actually more of a logical outcome that reflects our own attitudes towards God than His attitude towards us. The reason that salvation vs damnation is decided by whether or not one is a believer in Christ is this: God is the creator of all good things, and from these things bad things have also been created (as distortions of what is God's good creation), and so to deny His place as the One True God, to deny the choice we all have to worship and repent to Him for what mankind has done, is to instead endorse mankind's perversion of God's good creation, to cut God out of life as we know it, and to do it ourselves. On a very fundamental level, this means we choose to rule things ourselves and remove God entirely, when God is THE reason for all that is good. What is life where there is NOTHING that is good? That is what Hell is. Hell is the place where rebellion against God is culminated, a place completely without God's good things and good experiences and good life. Btw our common cultural understanding of Heaven and Hell and Satan, demons, and angels, all is mostly the result of Dante's Inferno and similar literary works that used representative storytelling similar to like C.S. Lewis's Narnia series to embody Christian beliefs poetically, but were consumed and taken at face value over the generations. Satan isn't a red guy with horns and bat wings and hooves and a pitch fork, and angels are, as I'm sure many know by now thanks to memes, not actually people dressed in white robes with dove wings and a halo over their heads, likewise cherubim aren't little winged babies playing harps or anything. Completely went down a massive rabbit hole but I kinda just wanted to dump my thoughts in all of this here, so sorry about that. I know no ones going to read it all
I have been working on this. For me I have... 1. On my phone, removed Facebook, Instagram, and Reddit. I identified these as problems for me. 2. I have been deporning feeds. Unfollow the traps. Tell the algorithm I don't want to see sex. I've noticed these moves have had great effects on my mood and self image. Thank you for the suggestions for more that could be done. Thank you for saying what many others are experiencing.
Nah do 10 press ups every time you want to watch content. When you've done the press ups use the meditation to bring your heart rate down. This will teach your body that whenever you feel sexual energy you do something positive with the energy, it will change your psychology and the meditation will train your mind to take control over that 'new' space created by the press-ups.
It shouldn’t necessarily be that every single time you have a sexual thought or feeling that you feel the need to face it’s and “defeat” it so to speak, it’s simply about reeling in those feelings so that we are in control of them and not the other way around…
You just helped me realise that I'm good, I've got a good handle on myself. Sure I am a sexual being but I am not a hypersexual one, it doesnt affect my life. I now also have warnings to take notice of in the future when I'm in danger. Thanks dude
I really appreciate you emphasizing the amount of time it can take in some cases to grow through this. Been working through this for a long time and just want to say to anyone struggling not to get discouraged. You can and will get through it! Praise the Lord 🙌🏼
I'm on a self-healing / repair journey of my own. I started with losing weight, getting into running and quitting alcohol, i know porn and screen addictions are next, and yeah i have poor self and impulse control too. I'm glad i stumbled upon your content, sometimes "the algorithm" does wonders
I'm an OG so I know the game being played with the female form. I know that my attention is one sided. So I have learned to train my eyes and brain that its just fake images, yes its just empty calories. That is a great analogy C. So yes, my attention is valuable and don't want to be spending it on nada. Yes, going into airplane mode at 9pm is very important.
Damn this was deep man, Im only 19 but its like all my life has been filled with a voidless empty chasm of lonliness. School, work, gym. over and over and over again, and I go home and there's nothing there for me. I can see why ive used this addiction as my opiod, I dont even hate myself, I actually have started to sympathize instead of antagonizing myself. Alright, time to change this shit for the better. No one is coming to save me, and thats fine.
@@eggstravagent3801 Don't "deal" with anything you don't have to. Stop giving so many fucks about things that aren't you and finding your purpose. TRUST YOUR FUCKING GUT! It's not there for you to argue or second guess it. I could go on but the the fun is in what YOU figure out. You asking questions puts you ahead of 90% of ppl you got this dude! 💪🏾😎
Reconditioning ourselves to actually feel what we’re feeling can be an incredible gift: it can actually make you realize you aren’t where you want to be in life. If we let ourselves just keep beating off for that dopamine spike it keeps us contentedly numb. Keeps us satiated. And not in any sort of real, deep, lasting way - but a numb way. And it’s so so so terrible for us. Thank you for this
Avoiding triggers is the hardest part for me. I no longer have IG, TT and other apps dropping off such content. But what about the real world? It's summer, it's warm, girls are walking around in leggings, tight blouses with no bras underneath. These are my triggers. I'm fighting it but it's hard.
Appreciate this video Connor, I like the tip about finding more excitement in your life. I think if you’re often getting to the point of being triggered/forcing yourself not to look at something, you’re already doing something wrong. The best way to live is to have a life so exciting and fulfilling that you don’t even entertain the idea of looking at porn
First time listening. I’ve heard about identifying the “triggers” many years ago and I understood it was things like feeling hungry, angry, lonely, sad, tired… an acronym like HALTS can help you remember what categories of triggers can be the precursor to acting out and falling into the nasty habit. This talk is helpful at my time of my life now and I am journaling and reflecting on what’s happening.
It makes me happy to see more videos like this. I'm happy that younger men can be exposed to this side at an earlier age. For those of use growing up with the internet, many of us steeped in this problem alone without any support or exposure to these kinds of ideas. I'm happy that people can begin their journey of healing sooner, because the longer you keep heading down that path, the more difficult of a battle it is to get out of it.
Glad there are videos like these on YT. It is helpful a) for me personally as I’ve done the same things: blocking, hitting “not interested”, unfollowing, etc and b) to know that there’s help for men out there.
Thank you for making this video, my life is in total disarray at the moment and I’ve always felt that taking back control in these seemingly small but hugely impactful daily habits is somewhat of a corner stone of improvement and growth during any successful period of my life. Videos like this one inspire me sooo much. Thank you
I usually avoid this kind of videos because most of them only have Andrew Tate's kind of vibe, but this one is actually very good. I definitely think you should direct your energy and focus into something that truly excites you and makes you look forward to doing it. However, I believe it's important to understand that it's not always easy to simply find a hobby or good friends. It might take a while, but things like porn or other immediate gratification mechanisms are definitely detrimental to mental health.
grifters are gonna grift, but there are actually content creators that ACTUALLY care about other people and want to give genuine and practical advice. control your algorithm and remove useless red pill grifters when you come across them
Wouldn’t you say Andrew Tate’s message is the exact same as this though? He obviously words things differently and has his persona attached to it, but he preaches the exact same things as mentioned in this video. Quit porn, work hard, dedicate yourself to something, etc.
Especially Twitter, and i know that prn addiction is only gonna keep getting worse in future generations cause i got addicted at a really young age due to the internet and not only is the internet more accessible than ever but there is also more sexual content now than when i was 9 yrs old
Then don't use it. Everyone has a choice. Some use it wisely, make connections, enjoy life. Some just search for these nonsense and can't control themselves and then blame the technology.
Dr. K says a lot of his patients who struggle with porn addiction share one thing in common: lack of meaning and purpose in life. He said, they consume porn as a form of emotional regulation/to numb their discomfort, anxiety, anger, frustration or escape boredom and loneliness.
I’ve been hypersexual for years. Rid myself of sexual response-structures through meditating, taking psychedelics regularly, getting rid of TV, video games, etc. No im almost asexual. I still enjoy flirting and talking to girls. But I haven’t had sex or any intact in 10 months and I don’t feel a void or emptiness about it. I spend my time writing, reading, tripping, walking and talking to people or doing art. I masturbate once or twice a month. It’s so freeing. I hit a 4 month depression when I first cut everything out of my life-but after prolonged boredom-productivity and focus have come back. Some of the women I was seeing responded like I had something wrong with me. That it was abnormal for me to stop being hyper sexual and horny. I’ve noticed everyone I speak to that’s trapped in heavy sexual “normal” obsessions and predilections look at me like I’m broken. But I’m free of the curse. Move around. Be ultra-mindful of what you’re consuming. More than that-watch your thoughts emotions and triggers-like an analyst.
I agree wholeheartedly with you! May I ask what setting do you take the psychedelics in? Meaning, do you buy them and set your own area for trippin or go through a medical staff, or ?? I’m asking for a friend🙃😉
Thank you for being so candid about this. I have to imagine that a lot of men my age suffer from this, because we were coming of age when the internet was relatively new. I don't think our parents could have really understood the evils of all the sexual content that was available on the internet. Nor would it have been reasonable to expect that they could block it all.
Absolutely vital information sir , you got a new subscriber . Humanity is right in the middle of an existential crisis, and our addictions are somewhere to hide.
I just want to say thanks for this video. After watching the other day, I cleared out everything from my search history, told the RUclips algorithm not to show anymore posts from certain channels in my feed, and I have felt amazing since I did so. I've felt more at peace and am less angry and annoyed by people. I appreciate this so much.
This guy has major insights into my life. It’s a bit severing to hear others talk about your own habits and tendencies like they switched places with you. It’s embarrassing as if they are reading your life story for all to see.
When I was dating I would immediately disqualify men who showed hypersexuality. If he watched porn, made comments on bodies, constantly talked about sex etc. It’s so boring and tiring to talk to men obsessed with sex. The ones I knew, made it their whole personality, it was predictable and dull I’m glad you’re making this content.
100% agree with you. And some men (women too, I’m just speaking as someone who dates men) often act like it’s completely justified and should be accepted. The reality is, most healthy people don’t want to date someone who is so focused on pleasure seeking that they obsess over it. I think there is a period of time (usually early 20s, that’s when I was more focused on it) where it’s less problematic, but as you mature it becomes really unattractive to be caught up in wanting to get laid all the time. That applies to excessive drinking/partying, overeating, watching TV all day, etc etc. It’s not what we want to hear but it’s true. If I spend every evening downing a bottle of wine and eating chips, I wouldn’t blame a well rounded man for not wanting to date me, because he’d probably rather go for a walk or read. And I won’t date a man who thinks it’s totally fine to compulsively watch porn, have naked women all over his home and see attractive women as objects of his fantasies. 🤷♀️ It’s boring, shallow and in some cases offensive.
You killed it on Chris’s podcast. I was glad to see you there. You spread a positive message. I’ve reflected a lot on some of your videos and applied things in them to my life. Your’e doing good work, keep it up.
Addiction to this sort of content ruined at least one relationship for me, and has been holding me back for years. It's also the most embarrassing thing about myself and it's not an easy thing to talk about. While not 100% free of it, I have largely cut it out, and content like this helps immensely in staying that course. Keep doing this work of loving-kindness to your fellow man, thank you so much! 🙏
Its crazy how the internet went from cat videos and skits made by kids... to a memetic hyper reality of a monolith that seeps into every mind. It used to be a smaller picture in a larger frame, now its the other way around.
It's the algorithms, man. They're learning about you. Teach them that you like wholesome content, when you're signing up, don't specify a gender if you can avoid it, and your feeds will go back to wholesome content. I still get sexy ads, but all the organic content I get recommended on RUclips is comedy, Bible stuff, political commentaries, and educational videos
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing how sexualized content had manifested problems in your life. There is no shortage of videos on RUclips to talk about “hacks“ for desexualizing your life. I found this video to be personal, much more relatable, and way more practical to implement. I’m subscribed and looking forward to more thoughtful content.
Since I deleted all of my social media accounts I have been feeling a lot better honestly. I also completely stopped watching porn and all of my "lust" goes toward my wife and my wife only these days.
This is a great video and perspective on this topic -- it is a testament to how we must remind ourselves as primal and biological beings that engaging in on-demand sexual gratification is not healthy nor natural to our way of life. I think for me personally this is a hard pill to swallow. When you have no friends, no family members, no support groups, or even online acquaintances, the lure and draw of intimate companionship with someone is more than just difficult to ignore. A very strong point was made in this video -- I believe the uncomfortable feelings I experience frequently stem from the absence of close friends or family, the feeling of genuine loneliness, are what drive me towards this 'deviant' type of behavior. It's an easier way of coping than crying my eyes out as to how my own life decisions up until this point have caused me to become truly alone, with no desire, know-how, nor ambition to venture out into the world around me to form meaningful relationships. I will bear the thoughts of this video in mind going forward -- but I do wonder what I will inevitably turn to if I don't allow myself this avenue of pleasure. I wish to meditate more and to be at peace with myself and surroundings, rather than resorting to nihilism and consider arguments as to why I should kill myself.
Wild that this popped up in my feed. I’ve been clean from impulsive sexual acts for a few weeks and the title of this video alone hit the nail on the head. The benefits of becoming desexualized were immediately obvious, including the thirst traps having less and less effect on me.
Love it mate, thank you. Came to RUclips & searched desexualizing the brain. I had a hyper sexualized childhood, throughout teens, into adulthood. I want to love someone & not have my avoidant attachment style take over. One aspect of this is my attention on the multitudes of women I have been with & can be with whenever I find someone I like, I compare them to what I have had or can have. It won’t be all but I know this is one aspect of it & I appreciate your efforts & focus on this. Implementation ENGAGED.
I just went to my first Sexaholics Anonymous meeting this morning and honestly it was one of the most important things I could have done for myself. Talking with all these dudes who have suffered made me realize how much of my life I’ve wasted, and it’s time for me to work my ass off and stop being a passenger in my own life by staying in sexual fantasies. I’m absolutely going to keep going to SA meetings, and I wholeheartedly recommend these to anybody who struggles with porn addiction
Hey bro. Just remember that addiction recovery groups are founded in the 12 step principles, and it's about God when no one else could help us. It just doesn't work when you don't follow the steps to him. The first step is always the most difficult, keep that in mind, pride was the root of the fall of man.
I’m a girl and this video made me realized that I have given up on quitting porn and masturbating. I’ve been defeated for a while now, not even fighting the urges because what’s the point. But this video gave me some inspiration to try again.
Awesome video ! I can honestly say that removing the apps and sexual content and coupling it with meditation is honestly one of the best methods to quitting porn and desexualizing your brain.
This is a barrier that so many guys (myself included) struggle with. Sucks being stuck in thirst trap mode but like anything in life, a little motivation and perseverance can get you through life's obstacles. We all have so much raw mental power and energy instilled in us, but so many don't know how to tap into it unfortunately. This message certainly helped me become a better man. I appreciate it.
Guys back in Feb of 2023 I quit porn and I was clean for 5 months until June 2023 I gave into it again. Since then I have struggled even more and now I stopped again April 2024 and I’m 2 months clean. Pray I never give in to it again please. Every like I get on this comment will let me know I’m seen and help me a lot
Thank you for acknowledging that men enjoy sex and NOT prescribing marriage as the solution. Instead you simply said that our HEALTHY desires get hijacked by the internet. You are truly wise. Thank you.
Personally, I've never understood guys who have gfs/wives and look at p**n. I used to think I was addicted and then I got a gf and I have never gone back. It's been over 3 years now and I don't care to ever return to that lifestyle. I think loneliness is the greatest contributor towards hyper sexualisation, once I learned that I was capable of caring for someone and having that reciprocated, everything changed.
Congrats. With all due respect, 3 years is not long. Get married and see how quickly the frequency changes. Then have kids and see what happens then. Our sex life pretty much stopped for a decade. It’s fucking brutal and it seems like there’s no escape. Most couples spend at least a couple years being roommates with parental duties. And everyone thinks they will be The One. Every man thinks they’re the exception.
@@DiscerningOtterEveryone who thinks they will be the exception is some lazy person who doesnt build habits that maintain sexual and romantic attraction.
@@-whackd y’know sensai, there might be a few people who might take exception to a blanket statement such as that. I wonder what they’re (we’re) doing wrong. Perhaps you could enlighten us.
Hey man, thank you for uploading this kind of content to the web. I used to have so many sexual thoughts daily that I wasn´t able to concentrate at work without thinking about watching soft porn online or masturbating. The internet has been very pernicious for me in that sense because it was constantly bombarding me with sexual content that aroused me. RUclips, in particular, has made me a lot of damage in the last couple of years. However, your video is a solid PROOF that RUclips can be both a good and a bad thing. You can use it as a detrimental toy that prevents you from living a meaningful life or you can use it, as with this video, to help you grow and to develop yourself in whichever area you desire.
I went a whole year without it until ai chatbot dropped and other frustrating things made me fall back but I am not addicted anymore, and feel no urges only give in when I'm using ai but I have already dtopped ai chatbots and i don't feel anything except immense loneliness which I'll fix after my exams. The ai platform I'm talking about is character ai. I feel like it needs to be addressed, shit was worse than corn especially for lonely people. Edit: I am an introvert, I have lots of interests and hobbies and finally getting control back. My advice to introverts is to get hobbies, I draw, write and play the guitar and workout. Anything to keep you distracted when you can’t socialise or go out
Thank you so much man. This could not be further from the truth. Since I’ve stopped watching sexualized content i’ve started working out with my wife, looked into and currently ready to go back to school for a better career path, and started eating healthier. It feels good to not be run by those urges and it’s still a battle but I won’t let it win because I know I deserve more and I deserve better. Thank you again.
@@Navs126OP is not suggesting that we wait til we're 50, just that when he became 50, he found himself having less testosterone than before, which helped.
I turned 50 over the summer. Am still pretty damn horny. I do have a long term gf and we’re happy. But she has definitely slowed down. Me on the other hand 🤦🏻♂️
I have a very self sabotaging cycle that I'm trying really hard to break. Every time I have an urge I open youtube and type how to stop porn addiction. and then watch random videos. that's how i came across your channel. To all the men out there struggling keep telling your self Not Today, just Not today..one day at a time.. All the best..
Yes. Don't be afraid to be afraid. Feel your emotions instead of suppression/repression, expression and escape. Feel it out without resistance is called surrendering it. This is in the book, "Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender".
I even unfollow female friends who post sexually provocative photos. I just refuse to give any attention to things I wouldn’t want in my wife. I absolutely hate thirst traps.
I love this video! I personally struggle with balancing the amount of sexual content that’s available to me while maintaining my quality of life and not becoming a hermit.
Absolutely brilliant to point out that this isn’t about mere discipline and restraint - it’s about finding other EXCITEMENT and fulfilment in your life We love offensive strategies rather than defensive ones
So I'm single and 33, and I was actually just having this convo with my buddy...thirst traps are everywhere in the real world now, and it really messes with our heads. I could be having a completely lucid, productive, spiritually fulfilling day. And then some grown woman walks by at the farmers market in a pair of yoga pants or mini shorts hiked up further than you'd think possible, and it completely rewires my brain for the next hour. What sucks is that that woman wouldn't even be all that alluring if she was wearing normal pants (though I could then have a normal conversation with her at least). TLDR: I'm becoming the crotchety old man who gripes about what women wear in public.
Literally what I wanted to see. I been explaining these kind of these to my male friends for years. That the world has become overtly and over sexualized and we must discipline ourselves.
Thank you I’m only 14 and this being an issue in my life is so sad for our generation. We need to make porn way less accessible to young people because it seriously ruins lives. Thank you for giving tips for me and all the other people watching on how to overcome nofap. Love you brother
I’m 49 years old and this has happened to me all my life. Working on this. •Things that help: • exercise (it helps your mental health, movement helps neuroplasticity of the brain.) •Mindfulness and meditation (helps with focusing on the present instead of fantasizing) • Substitute addiction with healthy habits (the brain substitutes one addiction with another one if you try to quit. It has happened to me many times. I quit porn but then find myself playing video games or constantly on social media.) •Seek mental health (a therapist can help with insight and practical strategies that help)
I remember when I was 9 year old boy, I came across lingerie images in a Next catalogue in my house and it unlocked something in me which destroyed my child brain. I was obsessed with looking at the models and imagining what they look without lingerie. Parents please protect your children from soft porn. It will ruin them.
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I'm currently working on this right now.
1) I quit dating apps
2) I quit p*&n
3) I overhauled my social media feeds
4) I started learning guitar
5) I meditate
6) stop using technology before sleeping and going to sleep earlier and getting up earlier
1&2, Me too, bro! Congratulations!
I'm trying to get on this program
good thing to try the guitar, gives you so much energy when you finally nail that song
God bless man, I'm taking a screenshot of your comment to inspire myself - it's the same path that I want to follow but lacking discipline, mostly by the minor things
I am proud of you
When lust is eliminated from the mind, there is a satisfying mental and physical liberation.
Yes🎉🎉🎉
That's odd, I have found acting on my lust results in satisfying mental and physical liberation... But I mean with real people, not fake interactions. P*rn is generally fake and mentally lazy
As George Michael sang "sex is natural, sex is good. not everybody does it but everybody should"
I don't think lust is the enemy. I think falling prey to inauthentic outlets for your lust is, because it allows you to be manipulated by people you don't even know (of course being manipulated by those you do know isn't great either)
Beautifully said
Mitch W. In Papillion Nebraska.....I want that very very badly. More than anything. What I really want is peace. Living in Lust every day gives you NO PEACE........NONE !!!!!!
i was a chronic porn addict. i had quit for 3 months one time. another time in my mid twenties about a year. once you build a steady and HEALTHY relationship with sex. where you never feel it and you can simply choose when and where and your no longer addicted or drawn to it. the feeling is no different. dont be misguiding people. you can still masterbate and watch porn on occasion at your discretion and still be a calm and liberated mind. i know it because ive battled with it for many many years now. leaving evrything behind instead of keeping it in your head knowing you have it at any time but have the power over it is way better and easier to come clean rather than being nofap or quitting altogether. tell me how do people quit smoking? nicotine patch. how are viruses and poisons defeated? administered in small doses or used against themselves to build the anti virus. solving something is never without itself. you need to use porn and masterbation to quit porn and masterbation. its all in the mind.
I would almost call this re-sexualizing my brain. When we sexualize stress, rage, and anxiety, we actually distract ourselves from our REAL sexuality as I see it. We rob ourselves of the gift. If I frame it this way, I don't feel like I'm giving something up, but rather gaining something.
Well put, this is a much healthier framing of the issue
wow this is so true...
Wonderfully put. I feel the same way. Our sexual instinct is a gift that gives us the energy and power to accomplish great feats, which result in pleasurable rewards, which are often ultimately sex.
Take back your control and live for a better life ✊🏻
Exactly, there is nothing wrong with sex itself. I feel like men just need to change there view on sex
At first I didn’t understand what this comment meant, but upon rereading it it is very, very powerful. This is a great mental model
I’m now at 33 days sober from s*xual content.
102 days with no nicotine.
105 days from marijuana.
And 64 days sober from alcohol.
If you’re reading this, I believe in you.
Much respect!
So awesome dude, respect! I quit nicotine 5 years ago, alcohol 3, and now porn and sexual content is the last to go, been a few weeks. Luckily never got into marijuana. I'm sure the lens of life has vastly broadened for you even in this short period of time. Never look back, rise above your old self and live a satisfying life :) Much love
Wondering how frequent your marijuana intake was? Did you find it difficult to quit cold turkey or was it a gradual wean off?
@@WhiteLavender425 I was smoking all the time, any chance I could get. I started to gradually smoke less and less until I was only using a little gravity bong. My main way of quitting that was just by not buying anymore and cutting off access to the people I usually smoked with. And by not dilly dallying and relaxing in my car for longer than I should have been.
@@nickrulof I dont smoke too much, but it feels like if I don't go out after work or if my GF isn't home, I have a stable consistent high the entire night. Not blasted, I only use flower, but still high enough to feel it and be lazy af. I live in a legal state with dispensaries down the block so I struggle with the ease of access. Thanks for your answer btw!
I got exposed to porn at the tender age of 7. It was one of the worst things to happen to me as a child, completely sexualised my mind and contributed to self esteem and anxiety issues later in life relating to my sexuality and in relationships.
Same 😮
@drick2480 That's part of the work of the Devil. Still,Kill and Destroy. What is sad about it is that for many of us, it starts right in our household, which is something that kinda prepetuats from generation in generation. Until, someone give us that click picture of truth/understanding, and make us break the cycle. ..Amen? Amen!!!🙏 Praise the Lord 🙌 📖 James 1:12-25 Kjv
Let the wrestle be evidence that the spirit of God is working on you and working in you.👊❤️🔥
@@Ruidacruz_36 ???
@@Ruidacruz_36 ???
@@gnarly_charleyyep. It also made me question myself it sucks
2 days clean
Pray for me guys 😢
How are u doing on the road to recovery
How is it going?
Don't give up! You can do it!
Bro fapped as soon as he posted this comment
Hope it’s going well
I am a female and I find these tips very useful for myself. Females struggle with hypersexuality as well, the only thing its kind of still a taboo to talk about.
i just realized ive never once heard this topic addressed with a female audience in mind wow
Sadly for a lot of women the hypersexuality is the result of sexual abuse or mental illness. I obviously cannot speak for all but that is what happened to me and dealing with the shame of SA is hard enough without being shamed by so many people for my “body count.” I was in pain and not in control of myself. We can’t have honest conversations about it if people are going to further dehumanize us for being promiscuous.
@@caitlinisaak
😅😂
Clown!
@@adamkane7513 Correct, I am a clown for being molested by my father and having it fuck up my sex life
@@adamkane7513Shut up. Most of the men watching this video would be highly promiscuous if we could have, early in life. Women can get sex more easily, that's basically the only difference. While a high body count isn't a great thing to have, doing something about your flaws and seeking to improve is a good idea.
Of course, a woman trying to change her ways must also make the uncomfortable journey of learning about hypergamy, about why women often fawn over serial killers. The primal part of female sexuality can be just as dark and depraved as the male.
Wow. Never seen this channel before but as a therapist, I am impressed. Most people don’t understand the principle of defences, that often times masturbation and porn are used like a coping tool for uncomfortable feelings rather than honest sexual desire. Learning to work with these feelings can do wonders in rooting out the impulses.
I found this to be the case often for myself. Feeling on edge and uncomfortable so I wanna feel better.
Yeah its not just porm that's a issue its a unchecked hormones.
@@johngulster7787id actually say that the problem lies with unchecked traumas rather than hormones.
As coping mechanisms go, you can do a lot worse than beating-off. I'd think a good therapist would recognize this, and encourage paying for the best porn possible. Well produced Ai curated porn makes masturbation more efficient and enjoyable. This makes coping with overwhelming emotions more effcient, leaving more time and emotional energy for identifying and dealing with root causes.
Abstinence has the effect of driving people to other more harmful coping strategies, like drugs, alcohol, dating, and getting married. Lots of people end themselves when marriages fail. Few do so when Porn Hub goes down or starts censoring thier favorite kink.
Figure it out folks....
Exactly.
"10 pushups brother" os a sentence that will always live on in my heart. Thank you for sharing this message
We're gonna make it, boys!
Hell yeah brother
FIGHTING!
Cheers!
And girls
You're not😂
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Nutrition isn't just what you eat, it's everything you consume. I try to approach content the same way
Real
wow, never thought about it that way. good point
Great insight
Bruh, this coment is spot on! Can i quote u on this?
What you say is deeper than it seems, it is not only man who feeds on bread, but also on the word of God ..
I've been on this journey for 1 year. Some days are better than others, but I'm so happy with the progress I've made. I can confidently look people in the eyes and not walk around with shame anymore. Thanks for putting this message out into the world! More men need to hear this. I used to think quitting porn was impossible, but now I believe
Well done man, keep it going and appreciate you tuning in.
Why did quitting porn help you? Did it help you sleep less or more?
@@thealterego1777at least for me porn was something that disconnected me from people, whenever I watched I felt corrupt and dirty and didn't want or feel like socialising with people or family, so I ended up isolating myself for years without talking about my life problems and making it look like I was doing just fine, also as explained in the video, you then use porn to cope with your life problems instead of dealing with them in a helpful way, so you end up not resolving those negative feelings and getting more dependent on porn, so a lose-lose situation.
The fact of stopping using porn as a coping mechanism forces you to face the thoughts or feelings you are going through, and by doing so you can feel rewarded, and proud of yourself, I personally feel more open to talk with my partner or friends about my issues or negative thoughts, also I feel like recognising your problem with porn and talking with close friends about it also helps you to let go of your pride, recognise you are not perfect and that you need help and people next to you, at the end humans were made to be in community. So by doing so, you learn to be more vulnerable and to ask and accept help from other, which leads you to also see others with compassion and help them too in their journey of life, whatever they are going through. Doing these things leads you to a more meaningful life, full of beauty and purpose, which I could have never imagined before.
I’m about a year into my journey too! Everyday I feel better and better and I genuinely appreciate the little things. It’s so freeing to not be controlled by online consumption.
May God bless you, sustain you and allow you to feel His presence .. it doesn't matter how many times we fall, but the times we get up, and He is always there to hold out his hand to us ..
Great analysis. Being ok with bored or painful feelings is a mark of maturity.
True
Very true
I personally find that feeling of boredom brutal to sit with. I have the unrealistic expectation that I have to be achieving something at all minutes of the day.
I used Tinder when I was bored and things weren't going well with my GF at the time ...
@@markthompson1796cos society has taught u that your worth is based on the work you provide. Partly true if you like at it whilst in the matrix. Once you exit the matrix you realise every living creature has equal value and scientifically must as physics tells us we are one.
This is exactly what addiction is. It’s trying to avoid the bad feelings and thoughts. It comes from within not from the drug
Exactly as you say, it comes from within. The problem is the lack of meaning in our lives, and this in turn comes from the lack of God in our lives. We are created to seek Him, and when we don't, we replace Him with false idols, like the p*rn , which eventually destroy us ..
Indeed
That's only one aspect of addiction, there is a chemical, dopamine deficiency/reward deficiency effect as well at play
@7chanconn7
That's not entirely true...Poor coping mechanisms and/or trauma may lead someone to seek out and engage with addictive substances, but the substance itself is innately addictive, such as porn, heroin, nicotine, etc. This is why it's soooo difficult to absolve ourselves of habitual wantonness: the negative feedback loop is like a vice that has a stranglehold on your neurological systems as well as your faulty coping abilities.
@ejRecording i agree. For me it isn't coping with anything, it is a dopamine high/addiction
I’m a woman and I am subscribing because these conversations require all of us doing the work. Super appreciate how you share this wisdom and how it relates to us all. This is absolutely invaluable! Thank you for your authenticity 🙏🏽
men's minds have been hijacked by sexualised content the same way women's bodies have been deformed for the same reason, consequence is relationships (both romantic and platonic) have since collapsed - thank you for this video 🖤
Lust is not a bad thing, it's natural. @@StrongLikeVegeta
@@StrongLikeVegeta dunno that the pendulum has to swing completely in the other direction via religion, but yes, i hear you
and glad you've found what works for you
Nothing wrong with yanking it. You go crazy if you don't. Been there done that. Its unhealthy to not yank it and sexual content helps with that.
Absolutely agree sis. It'd very unfortunate
Yeah im so sick of it.
Since years im Not getting involved in anything.
Its Just stressful and uncomfortable to get aroused.
Even when a girl Hits on me.
Its Just stressful.
Theres no Feelings of Love or anything. I just feel emotionally crippled.
Im finding this JUST in time. I legit was just thinking how sick and tired I am of looking at a female and thinking, "huh, I would date her." Where as I want to re-program my mind to instead see them not as a partner or sexualize a person but rather as an individual and wonder instead "hmm, i bet she's a good person and a good friend." THAT is my goal.
That's spot on with what I've been trying to accomplish as well. My standards have been too low.
😂
Felt! Stay strong yall!
Wasted a decade of my life on CORN, I get off it for months and struggle as it seems everything in society is sexualized or oversexualized... this isn't healthy, training millions of men to only see & love women for the flesh instead of the spirit, the only real thing within them when the flesh is just an illusion.
Now we see why CORN was banned for most of America's history.
"Huh, I would date her. " It's nice that your internal dialogue is civil and decent. Mine is out of control to the point of it manifesting physically, such as having to breaking eye contact when speaking with women. Then I have anxiety about the social interaction thinking that the person I was speaking with could tell what I was thinking.
This one little thing really turned me around -- when you "catch yourself in the act" about to act on that desire, then don't... it's a victory. And later that evening, the next day, whatever... when you think about being confronted with the challenge and then triumphing over it, you can tell it made you stronger. (i haven't looked at p*rn in ~ 5 months now, though I am still being frustrated by desire, i think the dating apps probably need to go... )
And yes, meditation is absolutely key... i'm realizing we're basically a society of insane people because meditation is a technology we should be learning as children
Sadly these days it seems like quitting dating apps is synonymous with being single and celibate. There simple is no other reliable way to meet women these days.
I've heard that dating apps are only successful for 3% of men. You guys should watch those types of videos. And in that area of YT, you'll also realize you don't WANT to meet women. Prn addiction is actually the better problem to have.
"quitting dating apps is synonymous with being single and celibate. "
That's likely because women are now just using dating apps to find the men they REALLY want. They never wanted us 97%.
@@Catatonic2789this is an extremely depressing comment.
What I learned (maybe will help you) is: the sexual thoughts are not the problem or to phrase it in another way: the sexual feelings are not bad.
It's the thing that's beneath it.
I am convinced that sexuality in it's original form is very good, pure and intended to be a lot of fun and healthy too. 😉
The images will always appear in our mind, that's not our fault, nor is it directly in our control. The problem is when we do not discard that image and, on the contrary, contemplate it. The second problem is what we decide to contemplate, and that depends on where our attention is focused, if we are distracted, well, in that case we are going to contemplate anything. On the other hand, if the source of our attention does not "feed" us, we will naturally look for other things. The only inexhaustible source of life is God, that's where our attention should be ..
If you're watching this, you're doing better than most people, a lot of people don't come face to face with their demons, and they'd rather hide it, but no, you're facing your demons, you're quitting what doesn't bring you happiness and fulfillment, and I wish you the best of luck.
I didn't search for this but I'm glad I came across it.
It's just what I need right now.
Here's to all you men and women here, finding your way back into gaining control over yourself again.
We got this!
What I like about this talk:
1) it doesn't try to guilt or shame people and make them "feel bad" so they want change. Shame drives you BACK INTO the habit.
2) it doesn't criticize, mock, belittle, or shame the women or social media feeds it talks about. hate, scorn, and contempt drive you BACK INTO the habit.
Don't use any of that negative energy. Don't hate yourself, don't hate others. Just sit and focus on your breathing and let it ALL pass through you.
good stuff!
What do you mean by negative energy ?
Because people will only try to change when they feel they are doing something wrong, right?
And feeling something is wrong is negative energy, right?
Also, I don't like how people are so afraid of criticism of bad things or things that encourage bad things.
Should we also not criticize criminals and so on?!
@@MA-gu2up Yes, totally understand your questions. I used to feel the same way about reality: negative emotional states exist in order to help us see "bad things" so we can then correct them and become good.
This seems to make sense. And so, we shame our children, dredge up the past and remind our spouses how they hurt us, or sit and feel depressed as a method of trying to fix our problems. All the while, our kids still disobey, our spouse still sucks, and our life is still miserable and sad.
But there is a better way.
I have discovered, from personal experience, that using guilt, shame, and regret not only are ineffective at stopping bad habits, but they actually drove me deeper into them, always. I was an addict of a few substances for a long time. I became free only when I stopped being addicted to guilt and shame as well.
I no longer choose to use negative energy states (regret, frustration, annoyance, hate, guilt, anxiety) and my life and the lives of those around me have been improved. (understatement)
Using guilt as a tool for change is what the world has been doing for thousands of years. Has it worked well?
My suggestion this: try to be radical: use good to fight bad, not bad to fight bad. Try to forgive yourself and have peace. See if that helps you overcome your addictions better than guilt and shame.
Best of luck on your journey and peace to you!
@MA-gu2up realizing, understanding, knowing something is wrong is fine. What is not fine is beating yourself up or others about it. For example, you understand being obese is bad. Is there a need to hate yourself for it? Take note that it is negatively impacting your life and identify the habits that drive you towards being an obese person. There is no need to shame yourself or others for being obese. Just work on creating healthier habit and lifestyle.
@@jeredmckenna
But you think your addiction was a bad thing, right?
Well, that is shaming yourself in a way.
And if you are suggesting not thinking your behavior is wrong at all, then why would you change it?
It isn't like you overcame your addiction by thinking that your addiction is a good thing, right?
You must have thought you were doing something wrong. That is why you put effort into changing, right?
Why would you change your addiction if you( being )addicted isn't a bad thing?
@@inuhundchien6041
Well, that is what I was saying, mostly. You recognize you are doing something wrong.
If you accept what you are doing as a good thing, why would you change?
I don't think you should be beating yourself, but I think a person should think he is wrong for doing this because people strive to change wrong things
Please make more content about this. This needs to become more seriously known
I've been struggling with this issue for years. It consumes up a lot of energy and caused me grief, resementment, shame and hatred towards myself and the world. Despite I knew pretty much all the points addressed, I still felt understood at the most fundamental level and it was inspiring to listen to you. Thank you so much for phrasing it in such an authentic and precise way. I liked, subscribed and I hope this video helps many people.
I have a very strong opinion this very topic is destroying men at an alarming rate and is not discussed nearly enough. Thank you for your time and efforts to create and share this content. Keep up the good work.
Absolutely zero question it's destroying both men and women. The women creating porn on sites like OF lead an empty life. On back end it is destroying the lives of the consumer of it.
1. have a purpose on every wake up in the morning
2. Focus to get the job done. agree with airplane mode, because notification, message, and calls are annoys me. I'll rather check them while break.
3. I know it exhausting, and wanting to have access to Internet to see some fun, but... the key is have consciousness to say it is "enough" don't let them feeding.
4. Meditation. Agree, l use this to disconnect myself from this world.
5. Vacation without phone & internet
Those are my best strategy.
This gets the analysis of why we use sexual thoughts to distract ourselves from things we don't like, absolutely spot on.
Woman here!
Very interesting stuff you're bringing up, love it.
There was a point of my life where i thought watching p*** was the default for man and women so i got used to watching it. But it got to a point where i couldn't get sexually aroused by mental images or anything, to be honest, if not p***. That realization of "fuck, I've literally lost control over my sexual triggers" was the thing that made me go cold turkey. I decided i wouldn't watch p*** anymore. It takes a lot of time to find a video that you actually like (sometimes i would get to page 15 on p***hub 💀) and once i was done i felt so guilty about it. It's so insidious. Wasting precious time of my life for this? This ain't it. It's been 5 years and i haven't watched p*** since. I don't need it, im happy and I can enjoy my sexuality in healthy way. Love to all you men, you're awesome!
DID YOU JUST ASSUME YOUR GENDER ?
@@mardobardogardo4930 did you just assumed my assumption?
@@isabelvir i DID IM SORRY
@@mardobardogardo4930 don't worry. Have a nice day brother
@@isabelvir DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER? DAMN SON
The funny thing about successfully de-sexualizing is that the pool of turn-ons gets even bigger and more simpler.
For instance these videos of women cleaning the kitchen in short-shorts, whereas during high p0$n consumption one needed hardcore content to get that aroused.
But that being said, the arousal itself is different, much healthier and more like the way you feel after a good laugh. Rather than a noose around your neck.
Great video man.
This is what a real man looks like. Bravo!❤🎉
The fact that nobody talks about the book NoFap Rebirth Project, speaks volumes about how people are stuck in life.
Nofap is for losers and Nofap rebirth project is a dumb book
This is a scam
From a different video, different channel:
"@hiddengem12-o9s - 4 days ago
The fact that nobody talks about the book Matrix Golden Cashflow Tactics, speaks volumes why people dont earn a lot of money.."
Pretty sure all these comments are just a bunch of scams XD
Orrr people just make changes and don't feel the need to find some label or group to be a part of like "nofap" to be successful. Maybe it's because "nofap" just means being a normal mfer that hasn't been plagued by hypersexualization of media and watching porn their whole life
Comment to like ratio makes no sense, confirmed is a scam
Thank you for speaking about this! It’s not just me who feels trapped in the confusion and dissonance of living with an abundance of sexualized energies, images, and marketing, but then to get burned, hooked, or shamed when that fuzzy line gets crossed and now we’re just engaged purely sexually. It’s a deliberate, confusing, and clever play on our psychology and biology, designed to put us off balance and disempowered.
Well said. It's so true
It’s so disturbing how we know we are addicted to p*** to drown out misery from low self esteem and failure as it is in my case yet do very little to understand where the problem stems from and deal with it much more effectively. Thanks for getting right to the fountainhead of the problem and showing why the solution is really not dealing with the p*** problem itself, rather attacking what is fuelling the addiction and keeping it alive.
could there be a connection between how you guys censor yourself when writing the word "porn" and your low self esteem?
Well spoken!
@@reformed_attempt_1it's to avoid shadowbans from youtube, you think someone is afraid to write that word? 😂
I mean honestly I think that has so much to do with the nature of the act itself and why we do it -- to medicate ourselves. Why should I research why this thing is wrong even if I do feel guilt and shame from it, when I could use it to numb myself and just not think at all? Rather, the whole point of porn and masturbation is primarily to numb and dull your thoughts and pain and fear, so when it's serving that purpose you've already submitted to the decision to ignore your feelings to the best of your ability. Btw I'm not mocking or chastising anyone who suffers from this cycle, because I did too. Being able to face our problems when it feels like it wouldn't ever end is very difficult, and for me the answer was in God. I am over a month free from porn and masturbation and have been spending that energy in prayer and time with God, letting Him re-write my life to have no room or place for porn or sexual addiction again. It has worked guys, not because God does whatever I ask in prayer, but because of the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical perspective change God brings when one makes the effort to fully surrender their troubles and investments and idols and everything else to Him. Not by giving everything away, but by simply choosing to not try and do it all alone. We weren't made to shoulder all the pain and suffering and work and problems of the world on our own, becuase inevitably we humans will fail eventually -- we are imperfect. Instead, we were made to allow God into our every problem so that together with Him we can succeed and do good. Contrary to popular belief, non-christians going to hell isn't exactly the wrathful divine punishment that we have come to think it is. It's actually more of a logical outcome that reflects our own attitudes towards God than His attitude towards us. The reason that salvation vs damnation is decided by whether or not one is a believer in Christ is this: God is the creator of all good things, and from these things bad things have also been created (as distortions of what is God's good creation), and so to deny His place as the One True God, to deny the choice we all have to worship and repent to Him for what mankind has done, is to instead endorse mankind's perversion of God's good creation, to cut God out of life as we know it, and to do it ourselves. On a very fundamental level, this means we choose to rule things ourselves and remove God entirely, when God is THE reason for all that is good. What is life where there is NOTHING that is good? That is what Hell is. Hell is the place where rebellion against God is culminated, a place completely without God's good things and good experiences and good life.
Btw our common cultural understanding of Heaven and Hell and Satan, demons, and angels, all is mostly the result of Dante's Inferno and similar literary works that used representative storytelling similar to like C.S. Lewis's Narnia series to embody Christian beliefs poetically, but were consumed and taken at face value over the generations. Satan isn't a red guy with horns and bat wings and hooves and a pitch fork, and angels are, as I'm sure many know by now thanks to memes, not actually people dressed in white robes with dove wings and a halo over their heads, likewise cherubim aren't little winged babies playing harps or anything.
Completely went down a massive rabbit hole but I kinda just wanted to dump my thoughts in all of this here, so sorry about that. I know no ones going to read it all
@@water3602Good insight
I have been working on this. For me I have...
1. On my phone, removed Facebook, Instagram, and Reddit. I identified these as problems for me.
2. I have been deporning feeds. Unfollow the traps. Tell the algorithm I don't want to see sex.
I've noticed these moves have had great effects on my mood and self image. Thank you for the suggestions for more that could be done.
Thank you for saying what many others are experiencing.
And what do you do with your free time?
Hi, how are you coping with not going on instagram?
Unfollowing social media helps. Smart idea.
Does reddit ha NSFW content?
@@maxink1809it has a lot
I like how I’ve been feeling this way and now my algorithm is suggesting your video. This is glaring to me change is needed
Have you changed ? 😊
I'm going to do the "sit on the meditation cushion and face uncomfortable feelings" every time I want to watch sexual content. Wish me luck!
Nah do 10 press ups every time you want to watch content. When you've done the press ups use the meditation to bring your heart rate down.
This will teach your body that whenever you feel sexual energy you do something positive with the energy, it will change your psychology and the meditation will train your mind to take control over that 'new' space created by the press-ups.
@ThatGuy-bh9qhThat's probably true. Yikes.
It shouldn’t necessarily be that every single time you have a sexual thought or feeling that you feel the need to face it’s and “defeat” it so to speak, it’s simply about reeling in those feelings so that we are in control of them and not the other way around…
You won’t make it buddy, you fail every single time you see any women’s skin 💀💀💀
@@Girlyppopwtf
Dude, thank you. This is a serious struggle in our society nowadays that keep us all weak
Keep posting more content!
You just helped me realise that I'm good, I've got a good handle on myself. Sure I am a sexual being but I am not a hypersexual one, it doesnt affect my life. I now also have warnings to take notice of in the future when I'm in danger. Thanks dude
Watching porn is not healthy in any way, even if you don’t think it’s affecting you, it actually is changing your brain/behavior.
I really appreciate you emphasizing the amount of time it can take in some cases to grow through this. Been working through this for a long time and just want to say to anyone struggling not to get discouraged. You can and will get through it! Praise the Lord 🙌🏼
I'm on a self-healing / repair journey of my own. I started with losing weight, getting into running and quitting alcohol, i know porn and screen addictions are next, and yeah i have poor self and impulse control too. I'm glad i stumbled upon your content, sometimes "the algorithm" does wonders
I'm an OG so I know the game being played with the female form. I know that my attention is one sided. So I have learned to train my eyes and brain that its just fake images, yes its just empty calories. That is a great analogy C. So yes, my attention is valuable and don't want to be spending it on nada. Yes, going into airplane mode at 9pm is very important.
Your attention is valuable is a good one.
Salute OG. Starting late but working on my self control with stoicism, self development, and content like this
Damn this was deep man, Im only 19 but its like all my life has been filled with a voidless empty chasm of lonliness. School, work, gym. over and over and over again, and I go home and there's nothing there for me. I can see why ive used this addiction as my opiod, I dont even hate myself, I actually have started to sympathize instead of antagonizing myself. Alright, time to change this shit for the better. No one is coming to save me, and thats fine.
Only 19! You're gonna be a beast dude keep at it.
@@Law34prez Thank you, I wont let you down!
@@eggstravagent3801 Same here bro, same here. 33 btw
@@Law34prez Whats your best advice if you could give to your 19 year old self?
@@eggstravagent3801 Don't "deal" with anything you don't have to. Stop giving so many fucks about things that aren't you and finding your purpose.
TRUST YOUR FUCKING GUT! It's not there for you to argue or second guess it. I could go on but the the fun is in what YOU figure out. You asking questions puts you ahead of 90% of ppl you got this dude! 💪🏾😎
Reconditioning ourselves to actually feel what we’re feeling can be an incredible gift: it can actually make you realize you aren’t where you want to be in life. If we let ourselves just keep beating off for that dopamine spike it keeps us contentedly numb. Keeps us satiated. And not in any sort of real, deep, lasting way - but a numb way. And it’s so so so terrible for us. Thank you for this
6:34 "Get some friends you can go on adventures with?" That is waaaay easier said than done in this age of poverty, insanity and addiction.
It's hard but worth trying.
Avoiding triggers is the hardest part for me. I no longer have IG, TT and other apps dropping off such content. But what about the real world? It's summer, it's warm, girls are walking around in leggings, tight blouses with no bras underneath. These are my triggers. I'm fighting it but it's hard.
I do appreciate a real conversation like this in a world where everything seems fake or ambiguous. This is refreshing content!
Appreciate this video Connor, I like the tip about finding more excitement in your life.
I think if you’re often getting to the point of being triggered/forcing yourself not to look at something, you’re already doing something wrong.
The best way to live is to have a life so exciting and fulfilling that you don’t even entertain the idea of looking at porn
I think being intentional about where we get our dopamine hits makes abstinence from compulsive behavior sustainable.
what kind of stuff do you spend your days doing tho
@@adstem5I want to know the answer too!
First time listening. I’ve heard about identifying the “triggers” many years ago and I understood it was things like feeling hungry, angry, lonely, sad, tired… an acronym like HALTS can help you remember what categories of triggers can be the precursor to acting out and falling into the nasty habit. This talk is helpful at my time of my life now and I am journaling and reflecting on what’s happening.
It makes me happy to see more videos like this. I'm happy that younger men can be exposed to this side at an earlier age. For those of use growing up with the internet, many of us steeped in this problem alone without any support or exposure to these kinds of ideas.
I'm happy that people can begin their journey of healing sooner, because the longer you keep heading down that path, the more difficult of a battle it is to get out of it.
Glad there are videos like these on YT. It is helpful a) for me personally as I’ve done the same things: blocking, hitting “not interested”, unfollowing, etc and b) to know that there’s help for men out there.
Thank you for making this video, my life is in total disarray at the moment and I’ve always felt that taking back control in these seemingly small but hugely impactful daily habits is somewhat of a corner stone of improvement and growth during any successful period of my life. Videos like this one inspire me sooo much. Thank you
I usually avoid this kind of videos because most of them only have Andrew Tate's kind of vibe, but this one is actually very good. I definitely think you should direct your energy and focus into something that truly excites you and makes you look forward to doing it. However, I believe it's important to understand that it's not always easy to simply find a hobby or good friends. It might take a while, but things like porn or other immediate gratification mechanisms are definitely detrimental to mental health.
Who's Andrew Tate? hold on i'm going to search.... (3 hours later), holy f***
Yes same, always a bit skeptical to look at these kind of videoes, some influencers push an agenda.
grifters are gonna grift, but there are actually content creators that ACTUALLY care about other people and want to give genuine and practical advice. control your algorithm and remove useless red pill grifters when you come across them
Wouldn’t you say Andrew Tate’s message is the exact same as this though? He obviously words things differently and has his persona attached to it, but he preaches the exact same things as mentioned in this video. Quit porn, work hard, dedicate yourself to something, etc.
@@jorisf6 No, it isn't the same.
Social media is soft prn
Wow. What a line.
Especially Twitter, and i know that prn addiction is only gonna keep getting worse in future generations cause i got addicted at a really young age due to the internet and not only is the internet more accessible than ever but there is also more sexual content now than when i was 9 yrs old
Then don't use it. Everyone has a choice. Some use it wisely, make connections, enjoy life. Some just search for these nonsense and can't control themselves and then blame the technology.
@@Chekuthan0101 ya you don't say 🥱
@Sanju__Sebastian true but regardless of what you use it for, he's right they push seductive sensual content regardless cause sex sells
Dr. K says a lot of his patients who struggle with porn addiction share one thing in common: lack of meaning and purpose in life. He said, they consume porn as a form of emotional regulation/to numb their discomfort, anxiety, anger, frustration or escape boredom and loneliness.
I’ve been hypersexual for years. Rid myself of sexual response-structures through meditating, taking psychedelics regularly, getting rid of TV, video games, etc.
No im almost asexual. I still enjoy flirting and talking to girls. But I haven’t had sex or any intact in 10 months and I don’t feel a void or emptiness about it.
I spend my time writing, reading, tripping, walking and talking to people or doing art.
I masturbate once or twice a month. It’s so freeing. I hit a 4 month depression when I first cut everything out of my life-but after prolonged boredom-productivity and focus have come back.
Some of the women I was seeing responded like I had something wrong with me. That it was abnormal for me to stop being hyper sexual and horny.
I’ve noticed everyone I speak to that’s trapped in heavy sexual “normal” obsessions and predilections look at me like I’m broken.
But I’m free of the curse.
Move around. Be ultra-mindful of what you’re consuming. More than that-watch your thoughts emotions and triggers-like an analyst.
👍👍
I agree wholeheartedly with you!
May I ask what setting do you take the psychedelics in? Meaning, do you buy them and set your own area for trippin or go through a medical staff, or ?? I’m asking for a friend🙃😉
Well done 🎉
I left IG years ago because of this very thing, happy to see you talk about it.
Thank you for being so candid about this. I have to imagine that a lot of men my age suffer from this, because we were coming of age when the internet was relatively new. I don't think our parents could have really understood the evils of all the sexual content that was available on the internet. Nor would it have been reasonable to expect that they could block it all.
Absolutely vital information sir , you got a new subscriber . Humanity is right in the middle of an existential crisis, and our addictions are somewhere to hide.
I just want to say thanks for this video. After watching the other day, I cleared out everything from my search history, told the RUclips algorithm not to show anymore posts from certain channels in my feed, and I have felt amazing since I did so. I've felt more at peace and am less angry and annoyed by people. I appreciate this so much.
I just wanted to say how refreshing it is to hear this kind of conversation without any religious connotation.
This guy has major insights into my life. It’s a bit severing to hear others talk about your own habits and tendencies like they switched places with you. It’s embarrassing as if they are reading your life story for all to see.
When I was dating I would immediately disqualify men who showed hypersexuality. If he watched porn, made comments on bodies, constantly talked about sex etc.
It’s so boring and tiring to talk to men obsessed with sex. The ones I knew, made it their whole personality, it was predictable and dull
I’m glad you’re making this content.
100% agree with you. And some men (women too, I’m just speaking as someone who dates men) often act like it’s completely justified and should be accepted. The reality is, most healthy people don’t want to date someone who is so focused on pleasure seeking that they obsess over it. I think there is a period of time (usually early 20s, that’s when I was more focused on it) where it’s less problematic, but as you mature it becomes really unattractive to be caught up in wanting to get laid all the time. That applies to excessive drinking/partying, overeating, watching TV all day, etc etc. It’s not what we want to hear but it’s true. If I spend every evening downing a bottle of wine and eating chips, I wouldn’t blame a well rounded man for not wanting to date me, because he’d probably rather go for a walk or read. And I won’t date a man who thinks it’s totally fine to compulsively watch porn, have naked women all over his home and see attractive women as objects of his fantasies. 🤷♀️ It’s boring, shallow and in some cases offensive.
You killed it on Chris’s podcast. I was glad to see you there. You spread a positive message. I’ve reflected a lot on some of your videos and applied things in them to my life. Your’e doing good work, keep it up.
Outstanding, thanks for tuning in and digging into the work.
I found you from Chris' podcast - very helpful content. Thank you so much.
Addiction to this sort of content ruined at least one relationship for me, and has been holding me back for years. It's also the most embarrassing thing about myself and it's not an easy thing to talk about. While not 100% free of it, I have largely cut it out, and content like this helps immensely in staying that course. Keep doing this work of loving-kindness to your fellow man, thank you so much! 🙏
Just turned 30 and i feel so empty and tired of everything
I feel this brother. Just know that you are not alone
rooting for u
Cut out the Internet.
Its crazy how the internet went from cat videos and skits made by kids... to a memetic hyper reality of a monolith that seeps into every mind. It used to be a smaller picture in a larger frame, now its the other way around.
All by design
once it got big people saw the money and influence in it and now here we are. i really miss old days
It's the algorithms, man. They're learning about you. Teach them that you like wholesome content, when you're signing up, don't specify a gender if you can avoid it, and your feeds will go back to wholesome content. I still get sexy ads, but all the organic content I get recommended on RUclips is comedy, Bible stuff, political commentaries, and educational videos
First porn I watched was 2girl 1 cup on my flip phone in like 2007. I also see marge and Bart smashing ass cheeks
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing how sexualized content had manifested problems in your life.
There is no shortage of videos on RUclips to talk about “hacks“ for desexualizing your life. I found this video to be personal, much more relatable, and way more practical to implement.
I’m subscribed and looking forward to more thoughtful content.
Since I deleted all of my social media accounts I have been feeling a lot better honestly. I also completely stopped watching porn and all of my "lust" goes toward my wife and my wife only these days.
I love that bro!! Keep on 👏🏼
Yeah. Great news!
I can't appreciate you enough for this video. These times are tough, but it's a battle that can be won.
This is a great video and perspective on this topic -- it is a testament to how we must remind ourselves as primal and biological beings that engaging in on-demand sexual gratification is not healthy nor natural to our way of life. I think for me personally this is a hard pill to swallow. When you have no friends, no family members, no support groups, or even online acquaintances, the lure and draw of intimate companionship with someone is more than just difficult to ignore.
A very strong point was made in this video -- I believe the uncomfortable feelings I experience frequently stem from the absence of close friends or family, the feeling of genuine loneliness, are what drive me towards this 'deviant' type of behavior. It's an easier way of coping than crying my eyes out as to how my own life decisions up until this point have caused me to become truly alone, with no desire, know-how, nor ambition to venture out into the world around me to form meaningful relationships.
I will bear the thoughts of this video in mind going forward -- but I do wonder what I will inevitably turn to if I don't allow myself this avenue of pleasure. I wish to meditate more and to be at peace with myself and surroundings, rather than resorting to nihilism and consider arguments as to why I should kill myself.
thsi is EXACTLY what i needed to see. sexuality is one factor that diminishes my sense of self.
Wild that this popped up in my feed.
I’ve been clean from impulsive sexual acts for a few weeks and the title of this video alone hit the nail on the head.
The benefits of becoming desexualized were immediately obvious, including the thirst traps having less and less effect on me.
Love it mate, thank you. Came to RUclips & searched desexualizing the brain. I had a hyper sexualized childhood, throughout teens, into adulthood. I want to love someone & not have my avoidant attachment style take over. One aspect of this is my attention on the multitudes of women I have been with & can be with whenever I find someone I like, I compare them to what I have had or can have. It won’t be all but I know this is one aspect of it & I appreciate your efforts & focus on this. Implementation ENGAGED.
Wow I'm exactly the same
fuck man. this me
I just went to my first Sexaholics Anonymous meeting this morning and honestly it was one of the most important things I could have done for myself.
Talking with all these dudes who have suffered made me realize how much of my life I’ve wasted, and it’s time for me to work my ass off and stop being a passenger in my own life by staying in sexual fantasies.
I’m absolutely going to keep going to SA meetings, and I wholeheartedly recommend these to anybody who struggles with porn addiction
Hey bro.
Just remember that addiction recovery groups are founded in the 12 step principles, and it's about God when no one else could help us. It just doesn't work when you don't follow the steps to him. The first step is always the most difficult, keep that in mind, pride was the root of the fall of man.
Man it’s been a looooong time when there was so much insight gain in such a sort time frame that I’ve never thought of but make sense. Thanks.
I’m a girl and this video made me realized that I have given up on quitting porn and masturbating. I’ve been defeated for a while now, not even fighting the urges because what’s the point. But this video gave me some inspiration to try again.
Keep fighting the good fight - it's worth it!
Get the book Unwanted by Jay Stringer. Been off porn and masturbation now for 4.5 years now no shit
Awesome video ! I can honestly say that removing the apps and sexual content and coupling it with meditation is honestly one of the best methods to quitting porn and desexualizing your brain.
I'm dead ass searching for mk1 combo videos but who knew I needed this. Amazing work
This is a barrier that so many guys (myself included) struggle with. Sucks being stuck in thirst trap mode but like anything in life, a little motivation and perseverance can get you through life's obstacles. We all have so much raw mental power and energy instilled in us, but so many don't know how to tap into it unfortunately. This message certainly helped me become a better man. I appreciate it.
Guys back in Feb of 2023 I quit porn and I was clean for 5 months until June 2023 I gave into it again. Since then I have struggled even more and now I stopped again April 2024 and I’m 2 months clean. Pray I never give in to it again please. Every like I get on this comment will let me know I’m seen and help me a lot
Thank you for acknowledging that men enjoy sex and NOT prescribing marriage as the solution. Instead you simply said that our HEALTHY desires get hijacked by the internet. You are truly wise. Thank you.
Personally, I've never understood guys who have gfs/wives and look at p**n. I used to think I was addicted and then I got a gf and I have never gone back. It's been over 3 years now and I don't care to ever return to that lifestyle. I think loneliness is the greatest contributor towards hyper sexualisation, once I learned that I was capable of caring for someone and having that reciprocated, everything changed.
Congrats. With all due respect, 3 years is not long. Get married and see how quickly the frequency changes. Then have kids and see what happens then. Our sex life pretty much stopped for a decade. It’s fucking brutal and it seems like there’s no escape. Most couples spend at least a couple years being roommates with parental duties.
And everyone thinks they will be The One. Every man thinks they’re the exception.
@@DiscerningOtterthen the lack of sex causes someone to fuck up and it all goes down the shitter I am a victim of my poor choices
@@Szcza04 I’m so sorry about that. But the good news is you’re still alive and every day really can be a new day.
@@DiscerningOtterEveryone who thinks they will be the exception is some lazy person who doesnt build habits that maintain sexual and romantic attraction.
@@-whackd y’know sensai, there might be a few people who might take exception to a blanket statement such as that. I wonder what they’re (we’re) doing wrong. Perhaps you could enlighten us.
Probably the best talk I’ve found on YT. Good one. I’m newly inspired to change.
Hey man, thank you for uploading this kind of content to the web. I used to have so many sexual thoughts daily that I wasn´t able to concentrate at work without thinking about watching soft porn online or masturbating. The internet has been very pernicious for me in that sense because it was constantly bombarding me with sexual content that aroused me. RUclips, in particular, has made me a lot of damage in the last couple of years. However, your video is a solid PROOF that RUclips can be both a good and a bad thing. You can use it as a detrimental toy that prevents you from living a meaningful life or you can use it, as with this video, to help you grow and to develop yourself in whichever area you desire.
I went a whole year without it until ai chatbot dropped and other frustrating things made me fall back but I am not addicted anymore, and feel no urges only give in when I'm using ai but I have already dtopped ai chatbots and i don't feel anything except immense loneliness which I'll fix after my exams.
The ai platform I'm talking about is character ai. I feel like it needs to be addressed, shit was worse than corn especially for lonely people.
Edit: I am an introvert, I have lots of interests and hobbies and finally getting control back. My advice to introverts is to get hobbies, I draw, write and play the guitar and workout. Anything to keep you distracted when you can’t socialise or go out
Thank you so much man. This could not be further from the truth. Since I’ve stopped watching sexualized content i’ve started working out with my wife, looked into and currently ready to go back to school for a better career path, and started eating healthier. It feels good to not be run by those urges and it’s still a battle but I won’t let it win because I know I deserve more and I deserve better. Thank you again.
I needed this a ton especially right now. Appreciate you knocking some sense into me
I’ve had to start doing “don’t show this” on so many videos. It’s the only way to try and combat it
As a man, hitting my 50s was great. Less testosterone has meant im able to now focus on non sexual things and make great progress.
Why wait till 50?
@@Navs126 exactly, but if you have trouble overcoming sexual desire, know that it will get easier.
@@Navs126OP is not suggesting that we wait til we're 50, just that when he became 50, he found himself having less testosterone than before, which helped.
I turned 50 over the summer. Am still pretty damn horny. I do have a long term gf and we’re happy. But she has definitely slowed down. Me on the other hand 🤦🏻♂️
@@AlexisG73 it's all relative. I found i went from all the time horny to once a day is enough. I'm 54 now.
I have a very self sabotaging cycle that I'm trying really hard to break. Every time I have an urge I open youtube and type how to stop porn addiction. and then watch random videos. that's how i came across your channel. To all the men out there struggling keep telling your self Not Today, just Not today..one day at a time.. All the best..
Yes. Don't be afraid to be afraid. Feel your emotions instead of suppression/repression, expression and escape. Feel it out without resistance is called surrendering it. This is in the book, "Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender".
Ah yes, the French Method.
I even unfollow female friends who post sexually provocative photos. I just refuse to give any attention to things I wouldn’t want in my wife. I absolutely hate thirst traps.
Good stuff
Exactly! Wtf is the point of a thirst trap except to painfully tease yourself into giving in.
friends? kind of going a bit far to unfriend actual friends over it.
I love this video! I personally struggle with balancing the amount of sexual content that’s available to me while maintaining my quality of life and not becoming a hermit.
Absolutely brilliant to point out that this isn’t about mere discipline and restraint - it’s about finding other EXCITEMENT and fulfilment in your life
We love offensive strategies rather than defensive ones
So I'm single and 33, and I was actually just having this convo with my buddy...thirst traps are everywhere in the real world now, and it really messes with our heads. I could be having a completely lucid, productive, spiritually fulfilling day. And then some grown woman walks by at the farmers market in a pair of yoga pants or mini shorts hiked up further than you'd think possible, and it completely rewires my brain for the next hour. What sucks is that that woman wouldn't even be all that alluring if she was wearing normal pants (though I could then have a normal conversation with her at least).
TLDR: I'm becoming the crotchety old man who gripes about what women wear in public.
It is not easy, I feel myself badly and I’m just trying control myself as much as I can, let’s be truly strong man
Literally what I wanted to see. I been explaining these kind of these to my male friends for years. That the world has become overtly and over sexualized and we must discipline ourselves.
Thank you I’m only 14 and this being an issue in my life is so sad for our generation. We need to make porn way less accessible to young people because it seriously ruins lives. Thank you for giving tips for me and all the other people watching on how to overcome nofap. Love you brother
I'm 25. I believe yours and our generations need to be the ones to speak out more.
They're destroying us
I’m 49 years old and this has happened to me all my life.
Working on this.
•Things that help:
• exercise (it helps your mental health, movement helps neuroplasticity of the brain.)
•Mindfulness and meditation (helps with focusing on the present instead of fantasizing)
• Substitute addiction with healthy habits (the brain substitutes one addiction with another one if you try to quit. It has happened to me many times. I quit porn but then find myself playing video games or constantly on social media.)
•Seek mental health (a therapist can help with insight and practical strategies that help)
I think deep deep down what we are ultimately addicted to is success. It's simply about finding something better to spend our time on.
I’m gay and i found this to be deeply relatable and healing. It’s universal
I remember when I was 9 year old boy, I came across lingerie images in a Next catalogue in my house and it unlocked something in me which destroyed my child brain. I was obsessed with looking at the models and imagining what they look without lingerie. Parents please protect your children from soft porn. It will ruin them.