🚙DRIVING ANXIETY SURVEY 🚙 Friends, I need your help! If you have experienced driving anxiety, I would be so grateful if you could you please spare 10 minutes to fill in my questionnaire forms.gle/i7koDwEGaYy5vmox5 . You may have seen my driving anxiety video's on RUclips and now I am writing a book to help people overcome driving anxiety. I am interested in collecting a broad range of views from people with driving anxiety to make sure the book is of benefit to as many people as possible. Note: Everything you share will be strictly confidential, and will only be used as general research for my book, to understand the experiences and patterns of behavior among anxious drivers of all levels. Thank you so much. Clare from Generation Calm
Another trick i came up with for myself was, when i first started i was nervous to get on the road alone, so i would wake up very early on a sunday morning(because almost everywhere in the world, sundays are quiet rest days so not many cars on the road) and i would drive somewhere that made me nervous and repeat and repeat for maybe an hour until more cars come on to the road, by then i am no longer nervous.
I was terrified to drive for years and watched as many of these kinds of videos as I could. I’ve had a car for a little over a year now and I am so happy I finally went for it. I’m so upset that I missed out on soo many things in my life and I really wish I had done this sooner. Please try and go for it guys, you will be so happy and feel sooo free! I know everyone says this but I’m telling you literally if I can do it anyone can!
Yes ... I love hearing this! If you want to watch similar video's to keep up the motivation I got a whole playlist for you ruclips.net/p/PLlhU5CGlNSZzyEPmTqeeOq0pM8b3vP5Bb. You got this!
I think my biggest issue/fear with driving is that because my anxiety makes me dizzy or feel out of body, I feel like I will pass out. I’ve never passed out so it’s a fear of the unknown but also passing out while driving (specifically stopped at a red light going uphill for me) is super scary!! I’m going to try all of your tips in this video 😊
Yes, feeling out of control or dizzy is part of those annoying anxiety symptoms that make you think you can't cope, especially behind the wheel. But actually fainting would be pretty impossible because anxiety puts your bodily systems on high alert (like high blood pressure, hypervigilance etc) compared to fainting (drop in blood pressure, lowered heart rate). The only time when people faint due to anxiety is blood-needle or hospital phobias. But having those symptoms make you feel like you are going to faint, and it's those thoughts that are enough to stop you from driving. Try working on one skill at a time and work your way up to the scariest (like stopping at a red light on a hill). You'll soon become more confident as time goes on, and who knows, you may even enjoy driving! Just take it one step at a time.
@@GenerationCalm Thank you so much!! I never realized that anxiety symptoms and fainting were actually different but that makes so much sense! I've been home for the past month because of COVID-19 and went for my first drive in a month yesterday (with some anxiety), but after reading your comment today, I didn't have as much anxiety and wasn't rushing to get back home on my drive. You are amazing!!
Wow, thank you for sharing. I’m glad I found this video and people that share a similar story. I’ve been driving for over 20 years but since Covid I haven’t been driving and now I’m terrified to drive across bridges and it’s paralyzing me. I pray that we all get the help we need 🙏🏽
This is EXACTLY what I am currently experiencing. After an accident I now feel so much anxiety driving that I feel out of body and lightheaded and I am afraid I’m going to have a panic attack or faint. I’m finding this very hard to work through.
I'm nearly 23 years old without a drivers license. I was in a horrible car accident as a passenger 3 years ago where I broke my back (am luckily not paralyzed), my ribs, bruised my lungs, and suffered nerve damage from the seat belt. The EMT said in his 20 years on the job, he had never seen anyone walk away from an accident of the same magnitude. I still deal with severe ptsd symptoms including a horrible fear of driving. I'm hoping I can gain control of my fear with these videos so thank you for the accessibility.
I'm so sorry you had to endure such a terrible accident and the physical and mental repercussions may not be seen by others, but they'll make up who you are today. So I'm very impressed that you feel ready to start learning to drive. The biggest thing for you to remember will be patience. Because it may take a long time for you to feel totally comfortable with driving or even being in the drivers seat of a car ...and that's ok. Find yourself an understanding driving instructor, a counselor if you need to talk through things as they crop up and then as I say in these video's just go for it. Practice will help you trust the road and help you see that this one accident is not going to be your only driving story. In my mind, you're already making progress.
I’m a 40 year old woman who hasn’t driven in almost 20 years , thankful to have found your videos - I’m currently studying the manual for my state (I’m the US), watching these videos was the boost I needed
Thank you so much for this! I am a 30 year old woman who has only just got back behind the wheel for the first time in nearly 10 years and it was extremely nerve wracking, mainly due to my fear of being watched by others and being judged. It also doesn't help that my parents have pretty much tried to discourage me from driving since I started learning 13 years ago as they fear for my safety on the road and have basically projected their own anxieties onto me. When I told them my partner and I had bought a car the other week, they weren't exactly beaming with delight for us and instead kept saying stuff like, "But would it not be better and easier for you to walk or get a bus?" and things along those lines. I just want some independence and to rely less on public transport and lifts from other people without thinking about my parents' concerns for my safety. I shall take on board your tips and continue to watch the rest of your videos! 🙂
Your comment could have been written by me, your situation is eerily similar to mine. Because my mum in particular is like your parents it's led me to feel like I'm doing something wrong by being behind the wheel which is causing a horrible burden on me mentally. I hope you were able to overcome your anxiety! It would be great to hear back from you about your progress.
I was near tears in anticipation of my driving lesson this evening, and listening to this has really helped where no one else has. Your soothing voice and "so what?" has made me feel so much better!
I grew up in NYC. I took the subway, buses and a ferry to get to work or to go out with friends. I owned a car but it was used primarily for errands. I always had a fear of driving. I am not sure if i have a mistrust of my driving but think its more of how careless other drivers are. You video gives me hope. I was also having some health issues which affected my vision so that slowed down my progress. I will start a list of benefits as you mentioned. Thanks
Thankyou so much for this. I drive but I only drive to work and back which is a 15 minute drive if that. i panic if i need to drive somewhere new, even if its local. I panic that I wont have anywhere to park and that I'll make a fool of myself. like everyone is watching me and judging the way I drive. or i wont know the way. it stops me from taking myself to doctors appointments or to see friends. please make more of these videos:)
I'm glad you found this video helpful. I have a few more of them that you can find in this playlist ruclips.net/p/PLlhU5CGlNSZzyEPmTqeeOq0pM8b3vP5Bb and I have more planned for the future. Your fear is a common one and goes hand in hand with feeling socially anxious and worrying about other people's opinions of you. I would imagine that driving is not the only time you worry about this. And most of it is imagined fear, thinking about 'what if this happens... or that happens?' Getting a plan together to drive a little more than you need to everyday will certainly help you start to gain more confidence. Maybe set a goal for yourself this month to drive to 5 new places that aren't too far away. Like a cinema (yes you have to park there even if you don't go inside to watch a movie), parking at a grocery store, at a restaurant you've never been to before, to your doctors office. You get the idea. You'll start to realise that other people are too busy thinking about themselves that they don't even notice your driving. And, if you do happen to make a wrong turn and get lost, you'll be OK!
You're not alone. I'm 39 and got my license at 27. I haven't driven a car since. I only drove just to get my license to land me certain jobs but driving in NYC is not enjoyable for me.
Hi! I'm from Brazil. I want to say that you're the only one on RUclips that helped me to feel some confidence to drive. I was looking for a video with useful tips like this one, because I really wanna overcome my driving anxiety. Your tips was so helpful for me. I'll practice. Thank you so much!
That's so wonderful to hear Nathy Lia. I believe you can do it! Just keep practicing. You're likely to have bad (anxiety) days when you don't feel you can face it, but don't let it keep you from practicing for long. Just get back in the driving seat as much and as soon as you can.
Thank you for this video! I hope I can finally get over this fear that has stopped me from driving for almost 10 years. I'm so scared of embarassing myself in front of others that I can't even get the car out of the garage. I guess that's the place to start...
Yeeessss! You can do this. Those neighbors are so busy worrying about their own issues that they're not even noticing how you're driving out of the garage. Start small and often, and keep going.
I know I’m real late, but IM currently 18 and it be making me feel so bad about myself to see all my peers driving and they learn so quickly and have no fear. Then theirs me so much anxiety.
I've been struggling with driving anxiety for as long as I've been driving and having just moved to a new city it has gotten even worse. Thank you SO much for this video! It is really helpful!
Yes, unfamiliar places can make it seem so much worse. You'll soon get used to those new roads though. Allow yourself to get lost sometimes ... it will seem difficult, but it's the best way to learn a new city.
I ride my motorcycle and enjoy every bit of it. Cars give me anxiety the steering wheel and stuff, I feel tensed. This video made me relaxed and I feel like I must give some more try. Thanks again. Cheers!
You make a good point. We can easily tense up in the car because we are gripping on to the steering wheel. So remember to check in with your driving posture every now and again when behind the wheel. Posture is important for your breathing, and breathing is important for reducing anxiety. So it's all related. I hope you give the car another chance!
Thank you for this video. I am 40 years old without a driving license. Just started practising and everybody is yelling at me. I will write down my fears and i will let you know how it goes.
Hope all is well! I’m 25 and I’m trying to practice, it’s hard depending on my husband to drive me and both of our kids around but I’m beyond scared 😭😭 proud of you for getting out there and I hope your journey is going well still !!!! 😭💕
I’m so glad I found this comment. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one getting their license later on in life. I always started to learned but never fully went through with it. I’m doing it this time!
All the best to you... I have the license now and I started doing grocery shopping and I try my best to drive atleast 15 minutes monday-friday. I have an excel file to track my progress.
Thank you for these tips, it's been a year I got my driving licence and that was the last time I drove (At the Test) I have been so scared to drive. Now I have drawn up my plan of action and won't let fear hold me back. Love your content !
This is so helpful. I was very confident in my first months of driving lessons then I began making more mistakes that my driving instructor kept shouting load every time she thought I would crash and then said some hash words that made me aware that I was putting everyone at risk. I began to crumble and even though I passed my test on the first try, I never managed to come back to my confident self. Now I drive my boyfriends car sometimes and the same things happen when he is sitting on the passenger seat. I can feel his anxiety and he is always correcting me, he means well but driving when there is lots of traffic and with a driver as a passenger makes me want to give up immediately, like doesn’t matter how much I try, I am never going to get it. I hope that once I get my own car, this level of stress will go down and I will be able to grow more confident again 🙏🏽
Having people shout or criticize you about anything will not foster positive feelings. So I agree, when you get your own car, being able to drive on your own will be good for your confidence. In the meantime, it might be good to assume an 'alter ego' while driving. I have a video about it here ruclips.net/video/vkLSZXGxhi0/видео.html. But choose a celebrity, character, sports figure or any person you admire and channel their energy when you are driving. It can really give you the confidence to step out of your comfort zone.
Thank you so much for this video! I used to be very happy and comfortable while driving, but recently I fainted behind the wheel and it has completely shattered my driving ability. Every-time I get behind the wheel now I am in fear of doing it again, and some times I physc myself out so much I have come close to doing so. I drive long hours from home to school often and I simply cannot feed this fear of driving anymore. I’m tired of being restricted like this and I’m excited to be comfortable driving again! Thank you so much for these videos!
I hope it helps to know you're not alone Jemma. A recent study out this summer said that nearly a quarter of all Brits are anxious about driving on motorways, and I would bet most of that is about joining on the sliproad. Keep going, because with practice it does become easier (and dare I say) enjoyable!
Please help me 😢. I feel trapped. I am scared and when I drive I panic. I drive but hate it. I am just like your friend!!! I am scared of getting lost, can't find my way home, get dizzy and I get so scared it feels like places I know look foreign. Help. I guy I liked started dating someone else because he said if he needed me if he needed help I could not help him 😭. Forget him but I want to help myself
Anxiety feels awful and dizziness is just one of the many sensations that it can give you. The anxiety appears because your brain sees being in the car as a threatening situation. So one of the first things you can do is recognize the thoughts you tell yourself about driving. Because those thoughts are very good at starting tension in the body and trigger anxiety. One of them is probably "I'm going to get lost", so write down your thoughts after your next few drives, what would it mean if you got lost?. Take the time to notice them. And in the meantime, try slowing down your breath while in the car...it's a great way to gain control over your anxiety.
Don't let that guy add to your baggage. I once met a good, Christian man who never drove (he was in the USA on a student visa at the time) and when my driving anxiety got real bad HE went and got a license so he could help ME out. Today he is my husband and we have two beautiful children. That's the kind of guy you want: a real man who wants to lead, serve and provide, not a boy who will run away in fear and criticize you for your weaknesses. Be real and authentic and let a good man love you -- even in your imperfections. You're worth it! God bless!
Thanks, this has been really quite useful, since covid my driving anxiety has gone up. I sound like Lavender! People zooming around too fast doesn’t help me so I avoid busy times but it’s annoying having to plan all the time.
Covid has upped stress levels which generally increases anxiety too. So it's to be expected. But take your time, and start gently pushing yourself to drive more often and you'll find the fear gradually fades away.
@@GenerationCalm Back when I learned to drive the UK system was not allowed to teach students motorway driving at all. It was deemed too dangerous to let learner drivers onto a motorway without a licence. Consequently all new licence holders at that time had zero motorway experience from day one. This is a triumph of bureaucracy over common sense.
great video, thanks claire! i feel so stupid having these anxious feelings, my partner tries to be supportive, he says im a good driver and his daughter and another friend of mine, i think i just need to learn to believe it myself
You make a great point, and I'm in the process of making a video about driving anxiety and beliefs. Because you can practice all you like but if you don't believe you can drive well, it will always be a struggle. It won't matter what others say, or the evidence...you need to believe you are a capable driver.
Disclaimer, this is NOT advice, this is just my story. Until a few months ago I had really bad driving anxiety. It started in 2017 with mental checking issues (OCD) - I'd drive past a pedestrian and think I'd hit them. It was debilitating. I stopped driving until this year (2020). By this time, the pedestrian thing wasn't really an issue, as it just dissipated (maybe because I didn't think about it for so long). This time driving anxiety had manifested into a whole new issue - just driving itself, the feeling of losing control, once I needed to speed up, feeling like roads were too big and I was too small and that I'd faint behind the wheel. My fixes were: - Always having someone in the car with me - Starting driving slowly, in big circles in a deserted shopping centre car-park i.e. driving in a controlled, safe environment. -Driving with sunglasses, they made my world less stimulating due to dulling all light, so I'd feel calmer. I've never driven with them before. - Manifesting the anxiety the first time I drove on a main road as shaking only and not thoughts. - Watching driving ASMR videos!! - Realising that I used to love driving, and allowing myself to feel "this is nice" while driving - Acknowledging that feeling brave often feels like being scared. The fear may not all go away, and this is fine (so long as it's not dangerous for myself or others, if so, start back at the beginning, take it slow again). I am YET to drive alone, but I'll get there. I am female in my 20s, my RUclips name is fake.
Thank you so much for sharing what has worked for you so far. You have explained it so well. (I didn't even know driving ASMR video's were a thing). I hope others will see this comment and know that they too can work out their own plan to overcome driving anxiety. Well done you! You've come a long way in three years.
@@GenerationCalm Thanks. :) Yes, definitely, driving ASMR helped so much too. And there are SO many of them, from small backroad stuff, to highway stuff. :)
I should add, that driving slowly, in a deserted shopping centre car-park really "re-set" my sense of calm while driving. It was the going super slowly (like under 5km) that really helped!!!
My accident was at work (on the subway) 😢 I have never been the same since. The anxiety of driving, vehicles and people improperly crossing is overwhelming and debilitating. 😢😢 Thank you for this 🙏
Thank you. I hope I'll be able to get over my driving anxiety. Each time I sit in the driver's seat ,I just feel so terrified. I'm just scared to drive alone. If someone who knows driving is with me, then I feel better.
Start where you feel comfortable. If that's driving alongside another driver, then start there. If you just need to sit in the car and go nowhere to start feeling more relaxed in the driver's seat, then do that. It doesn't matter how or where you start to get over your fear ... just start somewhere. You can do this!
Thanks Clare. You were really spot on, on your tips and they would really be of help once i am behind the steering. I hope to soon get out of the this anxiety as it has greatly affected my work and lifestyle. I used to drive long distance, within and intercity until when some silly thoughts gets into me and i start having thoughts of loosing control of the steering and having a crash. I trust that will be all over as i gradually apply these tips! God bless you!
Yes, it's when the anxiety gets in the way of living life that it becomes a problem. But I believe you can get back to where you were before with some patience and determination. Good luck with it all!
I have been driving for 17 years, always felt comfortable driving, even in big cities. But a year ago I had my second child, I had a scary moment 2 months postpartum with my kids in the car. And since then I started having driving anxiety. I didn’t even know what anxiety was until that moment. I’m not afraid of driving but as soon as I’m in the car, my mind takes over and I start shaking and my vision starts getting weird 😔 and that interrupts my driving
Many people, like yourself, have an incident that will start driving anxiety. And normally you might be able to brush it off but if you are going through a stressful time (having a baby definitely counts), have kids in the car etc. it can all add up to making it a prime time for a driving phobia to start. We know you can drive well, you've been doing it for 17 years, but your confidence has been shaken. Anxiety causes physical symptoms that make you feel like you are not fit enough to drive ... but you are. A good place to start is to use breathing techniques to reduce the anxiety sensations you're feeling once you get in the car. This 5 minute meditation may help ruclips.net/video/BQ7oNZVL8CY/видео.html. And I have a whole video series on driving anxiety that may help you too ruclips.net/p/PLlhU5CGlNSZzyEPmTqeeOq0pM8b3vP5Bb
Love your attitude! You're absolutely right...you can drive in your own sweet time. People get away with not driving more easily when they live in a major city, they don't stand out as unusual. But there seems to be a certain expectation for anyone else. You'll know when you're ready. Just make sure it's a decision you're making from the heart and not out of fear.
a lovely video, and a lovely voice, thank you. Something which I found very helpful after I had passed my driving test and had to drive on a motorway a day or two later - incredibly stressful - was to book a two hour Motorway Driving lesson with my instructor: invaluable.
Thank you so much. I will do the writing part later in the day. So I can start focusing on driving to get my driver license. That so what?? statement was amazing. You deserve more credit.
You're so very welcome. I love that you're taking action. The 'so what' works well because by the end of it you're reduced to something that is so insignificant. And you probably don't give yourself enough credit..because if your car were to break down or you get lost...you'll cope better than you think you will. Good luck!
Hello! It is really great video and tips! I’m trying to get over my driving fear last 2 years but still I couldn’t manage it. Driving anxiety ruining my life more and more every day. when I think about driving or when I am driving, I always picturing myself killing somebody or an animal accidentally and going to jail or live desperate after this. I don’t know why this picture stuck in my head but it is troubling me to get over it😓
It is no surprise that you're scared of driving if that troubling picture is in your mind. We know it's not true yet it comes back time and time again. And you're certainly not alone. A talking therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy would probably help best in this situation because it would combine challenging your thoughts in a safe way with actual action (so starting to drive again in your own time). You might just need a few sessions to make a start, but then you could continue making progress on your own. Therapists are more accessible than ever now that Covid has prompted them to go online. You can do this ... I get the impression that you're motivated to make a change!
Generation Calm Thank you so much! I am glad for your advices and help! CBT was in my mind too and online therapy might be so much easier! I appreciate your help!
why is your voice sooo soothing? I love u so much. You have no idea how much it helped me. I have also answered your survery and would love to know the update on your book.
Oh my thank you for this!!!!! I have my license. Driven a few other people's cars. I once drove my friend's car on expressway to Schaumburg from Chicago. The guy who taught me how to drive to pass the driving test had me practice on the expressway and also driving downtown. I successfully did all of that and remembered being comfortable and confident. That was 2012/2013 when I got my license and even before getting my license I had little driving experience but I havent driven in awhile and someone recently gave me their old car. I am so embarrassed and disheartened because I am so nervous and my anxiety is through the roof. This will be my first car and I am practicing every day but I am so anxious that I am tense and cant rest when I am in the house and not driving. I think I too also worry about what other drivers would think about my driving. And for the life of me I cant get back comfortable with some of my turns. 🤦🏾 I need confidence.
It's really tough when you take a break from driving and don't get a chance to drive regularly. Now that you are taking the opportunity to drive again it seems that some pesky negative thoughts are getting in the way of you enjoying your drives. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you can drive well ... you passed the test, you've driven through a very big and busy city. But that big gap in driving has knocked your confidence and it's time to take back the wheel (pardon the pun). For you, I would suggest starting a driving journal. Write down your thoughts, beliefs and concerns about driving. Brainstorm what skills you want to improve upon. Take one skill at a time and log how you are improving. Take the time to note down how you feel before or after a drive. Notice when you are more worried. After a while, you won't need the journal at all, but it can really help you separate your worries from your real skills and to see how you are improving. Because at the end of the day, driving is just a skill and all skills can be improved with practice. And as you get more practiced the worries will disappear. I wish you all the luck in the world!
@@GenerationCalm Thank you so very much!!!!!!!! Your kinds words and encouragement are so cherished. I really appreciate them and it has blessed me so. I will definitely keep a journal. I do keep notes on when I take it out for a driving practice to hold myself accountable for practicing. But I will definitely keep a journal like the one you suggested. Thank you so much again!!!!!! And Happy New Year!!!!!!!
Thank you for the video! Been driving for 2 months and I'd still get anxiety especially when driving down an unfamiliar road. I will be trying your tips.
It's still early days for you, so this is the perfect time to practice driving on unfamiliar roads. It will make you grow as a driver and will reduce the anxiety you'll feel over time. Good luck!
@@GenerationCalm I played your videos a few times today before I drove to the mall for the first time! I was nervous but I tried your tips, mainly breathing techniques and saying out loud positive affirmations. Going through the routes via google maps first also helps because it minimize the fear of unknown for me. Thanks again!
@@nickandchrismom Thank you so much for your encouragement! I will do my best to remember your words especially when I refuse to step out of my comfort zone.
Yes this video is going to help me over come my fear a driving.. bc I have a little panic attack when I get behind the wheel when ik I could do it I just have to use some of these things in this video thank you so much for this video means a lot
I believe my driving anxiety stems from my childhood when I was in the car with family members - we were in several minor accidents over the years due to careless other drivers and it seems to have affected me now into adulthood. I remember waiting as a child for the next accident to happen. I passed my test when I was 18 but had an awful experience with my driving instructors, I’m now 23 and my driving anxiety affects my daily life. I so badly want to drive by myself to different cities and have adventures. I desperately want to be the person who volunteers to drive instead of jumping at any opportunity for someone else to drive or take public transport. I’m okay driving in areas I know but I get stressed out when it comes to busy places trying to park and the thought of going on the motorway. It’s affected my friendships and they don’t understand and think I’m being selfish by never driving but it’s truly not because I don’t want to but because I physically can’t and I feel shaky and nauseous at the thought of it. My friends think I’m making excuses and being ridiculous and this has lead to me becoming isolated as they don’t want to meet me anymore. I just feel so helpless and pathetic, this video is very useful though and hopefully by taking small steps 2024 will be the year I overcome my driving anxiety fear.
I know this is an old video but this helped. I’ve been driving for 15 years no problem, actually loved driving. But now suddenly have developed a fear. As of out of nowhere! I cant even drive more than 10 mins away or I’ll have a panic attack. It’s consuming my life. My husband has to drive us everywhere. Thankfully I work from home. I’ll try these!
I hear this a lot! Often a fear that seems to start out of nowhere, actually starts during a period of high stress (like a pandemic)!. We just may not realise we're that stressed. I know it's frustrating and inconvenient at the moment to have your husband drive everywhere, but take your time getting back into the swing of things. Don't try to push yourself too hard, especially if there's still a lot of stress going on right now for you.
Thank you for this. I had a terrifying experience years ago on a roller coaster at an amusement park where I started to come up out of my seat at the top of a hill. I wasn't buckled tightly enough and had been unable to get a ride attendant's attention before the ride began. I have a lot of difficulty driving on hilly roads because I get that same sensation. I have been trying hard to find routes around town that let me avoid hills. It's so limiting and frustrating.
First ever driving lesson, my instructor yelled and screamed at me the entire time, expecting me to know things I had already explained that I didn't, as it was my first time behind the wheel, basically throwing me into the deepend and expecting me to be Michael Phelps, I didnt have a good instructor until my 11th and 12th sessions, ever since that first lesson where I came home trembling I've hated driving, thank you for a great resource to help people like me
I'm sorry you had such a horrific experience with your first instructor. And good on you for not letting it stop you!! This first experience doesn't have to set the tone for the rest of your driving years though. With some time and practice you'll probably enjoy driving.
The two questions that you said So What to, which prevent me driving and give me and anxiety an panic, is fear of breaking down an people beeping me to get out the way an just going blank, an having an accident. Been rear ended before so I'm always rushing then being relaxed.
Sorry I didn't reply to your comment before, I missed it somehow! It sounds like you worry about what others might think or getting in the way of other drivers. That's understandable with having been rear ended before. It's amazing how we worry about these situations, but they rarely happen. Our brain focuses on the negative more than all the positive driving experiences.
Oh my, I felt like you were talking about me. I too am in my 40's. My triggers are stoplights and and turns at super busy intersections. I've driven fairly comfortable all my driving years up until 7 yrs ago. I was under a lot of stress at my workplace - I ended up with insomnia, anxiety due to all stress and lack of sleep. I felt I couldn't drive myself safely anymore .Plus I ended up obtaining a job where I could work from home . Which was convenient but also hindered me from pushing myself to drive more often. I do drive sometimes in my town where I feel comfortable but not as often as I should. I will try your tips and take it slowly till I reach my goal. My goal is to meet up with my friends for dinner like I used to before and obtaining a new job in the city.
Sounds like you were meant to find this video. I love that you already have the goal in mind because it will keep you motivated. You can absolutely do this!
Thank you so much for making these video's. My grandmother and grandfather died in a car accident I was going to ride with her that day but I didn't only due to riding with my parents instead that day. I have been very anxious about driving ever since because I would have been in the car with them when it happened... I have a severe reaction of fear when people even talk about car accidents. CBT is a incredible way to heal and I am working on this but your video's have helped me so much ❤
I am so sorry for your loss and the tragic accident that you could have been in yourself. It's really no wonder that driving anxiety has been a result of this. I'm so glad you have sought out help and CBT is a reliable therapy to see results. Just remember to be gentle with yourself during this process, even a small step forward is very brave in my opinion!
Thank you so much for some great advice I have failed my test but I feel I want to try again and get my licence I do have lots of experience but when the test starts nerves take over
It's absolutely normal to feel nervous for tests, but maybe you are putting a little too much pressure on yourself. Go into your next test with the attitude that it doesn't matter if you pass or not. It's all a learning experience. No judgements. Celebrate the process of going for the test, rather than only celebrating if you pass. It's easy to get caught up with other people when they start saying they passed first time round. Take no notice of them, you're on your own timeline. I didn't pass first time either. That was over 20 years ago, and although it felt like a big deal at the time, I haven't thought about it since. You can do this!
Hello! 👋🏽 Fellow anxious driver here. I recently moved to a new country and I am anxious to drive here. Not only because it’s a new country, but my overall fear of death and dying. I’m scared I’m going to die(heart attack, stroke etc.) while driving and no one will be able to help me. I’m hoping this video can help reduce that anxiety/panic/dread.
I have anxiety stopping and then starting from the roundabouts and i get so scared on the uphills too. Also, i have anxiety when i enter a unknown road or when i have to stop in the middle of road for parking or when i am searching some place when i am driving.
I use to love driving everywhere. I got my license at 16 and drove all over the place. I had a panic attack a few years ago on the interstate and it had debilitated me. I still drive but I still get nervous.
When I’m on the freeway at random intersections my body and legs tense up and I feel frozen like I can’t breathe or move and my sweaty hand grips the wheel extra tightly to avoid somehow losing control, I’ve already tried defusing the anxiety and allowing it to manifest by “so what” but it still peaks and gets bad, what do you suggest?
By gripping the wheel tightly you will also be tightening your shoulders and neck. Unfortunately, this will send a signal to your brain that you're in danger (even if you're not). So all the horrible sensations will be intensified. When you notice the first signs that your muscles are freezing up or tightening, try your best to adjust your posture so that you're feeling more relaxed. So shuffle your bottom right back into the seat, lower your shoulders from your ears, grip the wheel less tightly. This should all have the effect of calming down your anxiety.
Good luck!! Go easy on yourself, you don't have to remember everything all at once. That's what your lessons are for. Will be thinking of you tomorrow!
your talk is curing me psycologically in all sides of life not only in driving ,,,,,,,i live in germany and i hope after 3 times failure to succeed this time
IM GOING TO try this. I have had issues with anxiety while driving. some days are better than others. but lately it has gotten worse. i rather stay home than to venture out. i used to enjoy driving to GA from Florida but it seems impossible. i miss driving up north to visit my best friend.
Thankyou so much for your video. Ive been driving for the past 4 years and never had any problem even when I was learning, my dad would even get me to drive through the mountains and on the freeway and I was always fine, and even enjoyed it. But one day I was driving home from uni on top of a bridge and I started to feel like I was not in control and that the car was driving itself, and so after that I avoided going on that specific bridge because it would fill me with immense anxiety but I was still feeling fine driving elsewhere. Then about 1 year later I was driving home and I was about to enter a random freeway but I suddenly felt like I couldn't breath and then couldnt even bring myself to drive myself home, and since then I have not been able to drive more than 10 minutes from my house without my anxiety symptoms making me feel like I am not capable of driving. I have no idea what to do as it feels like I will never get back to how I was driving before
You describe how your fear of driving has formed very well. It's easy to understand how it has snowballed from that one incident on the bridge. Step 1 for you, is likely to be figuring out a goal. Everyone's goal is different and can range from being able to drive to a conference 2 hours away, to driving to the nearest store. Once you have a goal, you can figure out how to achieve it. You can do this!
I got my licence in my main country, didnt drive much then moved to other country, had to get licence again and i got it again, i had lots of driving hours, but i get anxiety even when i think about driving next day, im scared of small roads, small turns, im scared i will make damage on my car, im scared of big crosses where i have to think fully who i need to let go and when i can go... mostly i hate this anxiety before even driving and it makes me to say no to drive... i feel shitty
Learning to drive in a different country can be a challenge, so well done for getting your license. It sounds like you get anticipatory anxiety, where you get anxious beforehand when you think about the driving. When this happens, it can be a struggle to get out there and do it. It's very similar to how some people feel nervous before going out to a party if they have social anxiety. Remember, you don't need to be completely relaxed before your drive, but too much anxiety will prevent you from wanting to go out. Try using a meditation like this ruclips.net/video/Fd20cAQKYnE/видео.html before a drive. Another thing would be to write down your thoughts as they pop into your mind the day before your drive, and look at each one and examine how true they really are. For example, if your thought is 'I'll make a mistake at a crossroads' - how true is that? Have you made a mistake at a crossroad before? Lots of people do, and the worst that happens is you'll get a rude hand signal from another driver. By writing them down, it stops the thoughts from going round and round in your mind too much.
I have a clean license 22 years I haven’t driven on the motorway 🛣️ for 10 years B roads only ! Today I stayed on one slip road I am going to try again x I think my hang anxiety coursed this I am sober one year so I plan to get back on track with driving. X
If you can, think about a goal you want to be able to drive for. Whether it's to be able to go for the perfect job, go on a daytrip, meet up with friends or just to have some independence. And then keep that goal in mind before you get in the car. It will keep you motivated! And notice how you're breathing. Then do your best to slow it down, particularly your out breath. It will really help you calm you down.
Thank you so much I have driving axiaty .mine is more when I drive with someone and they tell me oh turn here and break then I do all the wrong things..this video.has helped me
I’m 23 and I’m afraid of getting into an accident especially on the highway. I have my license but I don’t drive often and I never get on the highway. I’ve driven on backroads to my college which is 20-30 minutes away but that’s as far as I’ve gone. In recent years, i haven’t driven at all. What should I do to over come the fear of a bad accident. I’m scared that I’ll get badly injured or worse.
It's really hard to drive when your thoughts are you'll crash. Your brain is telling you it's really unsafe, so you'll get all those telltale anxiety symptoms. So take it slow! Start by working out what your motivation is. Will being able to drive wherever you want open up new possibilities to you? Then start taking note of your thoughts about driving (you already mentioned one in the comment). Remind yourself that these are just thoughts, not facts. And when you are ready, start driving on quiet roads and work you way up to faster/ busier roads only when you feel ready. It'll take some time and commitment, but you'll do it.
Been stuck in my county for about 8-10 years now because of my driving anxiety. I've tried numerous therapists. None helped. My son is about to turn 3 and my wife is going to be taking him on all manner of adventures, just the two of them. I've been gradually becoming more and more depressed about missing out on these huge experiences with my son. Not sure what to do anymore.
I have terrible anxiety driving on the motorway since a panic attack a few years ago.. I have tried hypnosis and it has calmed me down in general, but I still panic on the motorway and slow down to 40mph! Any tips would be great!
Panic attacks feel terrible and we'll do anything to avoid having another one! So it makes sense that motorways still make you nervous. The biggest tip would be to practice on faster, non-motorway roads. So, 1 and 2 lane highways that are anywhere between 50-70 mph. They're not quite as scary and intimidating as a motorway and probably won't create the same panicky feelings for you. But start practicing at quieter times, gradually moving up to practicing at busier times and then, only when you're ready, move on to motorways. You'll get there, but it takes some time and patience.
I need to start driving after having panic attacks due to anaemia. I have been driving for 35 years and cannot understand why my driving changed and would like help in getting back on the road
I think my highway driving comes from being afraid of wide open spaces bc I had a panic attack on top of a mountain and now whenever I’m up high or in a wide open space I panic, like on the highway. Would these steps help this?
These steps, taken from CBT, will help with most phobias and panic/anxiety. Start small though, and take just one area to work on (like the highway) and work up to it. Find a route where you can get on and off quite easily in very little traffic, and keep practicing until you feel more comfortable.
That's a great idea, will plan one out soon. In the meantime, I have an affirmations video which may be helpful ruclips.net/video/Fd20cAQKYnE/видео.html
Great question! So, if we're talking about a small, 'rear-ended' type of accident with no injuries, I'd still be inclined to ask yourself the 'so what?' question. Because a.) it's not very likely to happen and b.) you'll cope a lot better than you think you will. However, if you're worried about getting into a big crash, then i have a couple of alternatives. 1. A thought challenging diary, where you put your negative thought under interrogation as if in a court of law. You'll see what I mean from the picture in this web page www.psychologytools.com/resource/court-trial-thought-challenging-record/. Or 2. Fear-setting, where you fully envision and write down your fears and the consequences, here's the TED talk explaining it www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals?referrer=playlist-motivation_for_the_new_year_and_every_day_really
My biggest fear is the news and other media bringing up road rage incidents that result in someone being shot. It makes me very anxious driving around aggressive drivers, especially if I'm not going fast enough for them or turn cautiously. With their tailgating, honking, going around and cutting me off, I always fear they'll get that pissed off and shoot at me. I'm not going to drive faster to appease them. It just seems like this has become a problem, all around, post COVID.
I've got a test in October and in my mock I was feeling so anxious I don't understand how I'll get through the test, been learning for ages should be perfect now😭
Hey there! I was wondering what would happen if my driving anxiety developed rather recently. Like last week. I drive an hour long commute on the highway 5 days a week and my palms start to sweat and I get on edge in certain parts. I dread the commute now and I literally skipped classes for a whole week in part due to the anxiety. I have to be able to go to classes for 10 more weeks (other than spring break and april break). My commute is to a place so far away that almost no one I know commutes there. I have a friend that's willing to drive me for one day next week but, I'm not sure if he can do it the other weeks. I just really need a quick way to handle this. I feel far less anxiety when I drive locally and I practice breathing and now am starting to practice progressive muscle relaxation. I'm trying to gain my confidence back quickly as my school's future depends on this. Please let me know what I can do!
My motorway fear is on the bends and switching lane … so if I say what if I lose control and crash the “so what “ isn’t helping as I could die and cause others to die… I’m petrified at the moment and trying to work through this … so these videos are fab … but if you could help me get round what to do with the “so what” part I’d appreciate any advice x
Yes, I agree, the 'what if's' are not much use if you think you will die. So instead you can switch it around and think of all the times you have not lost control of the car. Even if you haven't driven much on the motorway, you can include times you've had to drive around corners, roundabouts, had to switch lanes on dual carriageways etc. How many times have you been successful vs made a mistake? Unless we have the facts in front of us, we tend to overestimate the risks. What you're trying to do here is open yourself up to the idea of improving a skill. I hope that helps! And good luck!
How would you make a baby step list for tall overpasses? I mean, once you are on, you are on the overpass and you cant really take baby steps. Any suggestions for a multi step approach?
You make a good point! But not all overpasses are made equal. The idea would be to find some that are shorter or less intimidating (more like bridges) and practice on those first. Only once you are comfortable with those would you try to drive on one of the longer and more intense overpasses. It takes a bit of effort to research where they are and then practice - but it will be worth it!
When you're ready, start adding some small overpasses into your driving route. After a while, it will become second nature. But I'm not going to lie, it will be scary at first. But if you try a route where you can get on and off an overpass, loop around and do it again, you get over your fear pretty quickly. Hope this helps!
🚙DRIVING ANXIETY SURVEY 🚙
Friends, I need your help! If you have experienced driving anxiety, I would be so grateful if you could you please spare 10 minutes to fill in my questionnaire forms.gle/i7koDwEGaYy5vmox5 .
You may have seen my driving anxiety video's on RUclips and now I am writing a book to help people overcome driving anxiety. I am interested in collecting a broad range of views from people with driving anxiety to make sure the book is of benefit to as many people as possible.
Note: Everything you share will be strictly confidential, and will only be used as general research for my book, to understand the experiences and patterns of behavior among anxious drivers of all levels.
Thank you so much.
Clare from Generation Calm
Another trick i came up with for myself was, when i first started i was nervous to get on the road alone, so i would wake up very early on a sunday morning(because almost everywhere in the world, sundays are quiet rest days so not many cars on the road) and i would drive somewhere that made me nervous and repeat and repeat for maybe an hour until more cars come on to the road, by then i am no longer nervous.
That is perfect! It's exactly the right approach.
Thank you for sharing
Love this tip ❤
I'm terrified. Even though I was an avid driver in my 20s
@@daciarandolph7692 what happened, did you stop driving for years?
I was terrified to drive for years and watched as many of these kinds of videos as I could. I’ve had a car for a little over a year now and I am so happy I finally went for it. I’m so upset that I missed out on soo many things in my life and I really wish I had done this sooner. Please try and go for it guys, you will be so happy and feel sooo free! I know everyone says this but I’m telling you literally if I can do it anyone can!
I'm so glad you went for it and are enjoying driving now!!
give me some tips pleaseee… I am also scared so much 😢😢😢
❤
I thank God that I have found you, Yes I can do it...Yes I have the power to do it
Yes ... I love hearing this! If you want to watch similar video's to keep up the motivation I got a whole playlist for you ruclips.net/p/PLlhU5CGlNSZzyEPmTqeeOq0pM8b3vP5Bb. You got this!
Many thanks indeed Ma’am
@@Abaawa_hannah1 have you done it? Please share with me
@@mrs.nolanroadrunnercanyon5572 Yes, I did it , thanks to genetion calm😘
I think my biggest issue/fear with driving is that because my anxiety makes me dizzy or feel out of body, I feel like I will pass out. I’ve never passed out so it’s a fear of the unknown but also passing out while driving (specifically stopped at a red light going uphill for me) is super scary!! I’m going to try all of your tips in this video 😊
Yes, feeling out of control or dizzy is part of those annoying anxiety symptoms that make you think you can't cope, especially behind the wheel. But actually fainting would be pretty impossible because anxiety puts your bodily systems on high alert (like high blood pressure, hypervigilance etc) compared to fainting (drop in blood pressure, lowered heart rate). The only time when people faint due to anxiety is blood-needle or hospital phobias. But having those symptoms make you feel like you are going to faint, and it's those thoughts that are enough to stop you from driving. Try working on one skill at a time and work your way up to the scariest (like stopping at a red light on a hill). You'll soon become more confident as time goes on, and who knows, you may even enjoy driving! Just take it one step at a time.
@@GenerationCalm Thank you so much!! I never realized that anxiety symptoms and fainting were actually different but that makes so much sense! I've been home for the past month because of COVID-19 and went for my first drive in a month yesterday (with some anxiety), but after reading your comment today, I didn't have as much anxiety and wasn't rushing to get back home on my drive. You are amazing!!
Wow, thank you for sharing. I’m glad I found this video and people that share a similar story. I’ve been driving for over 20 years but since Covid I haven’t been driving and now I’m terrified to drive across bridges and it’s paralyzing me. I pray that we all get the help we need 🙏🏽
This is EXACTLY what I am currently experiencing. After an accident I now feel so much anxiety driving that I feel out of body and lightheaded and I am afraid I’m going to have a panic attack or faint. I’m finding this very hard to work through.
How have you been ? And everyone else in this thread?
Oh my goodness.. ''Every time I ask 'so what?' it takes the power away from the thought. Magic. Thank you
I'm nearly 23 years old without a drivers license. I was in a horrible car accident as a passenger 3 years ago where I broke my back (am luckily not paralyzed), my ribs, bruised my lungs, and suffered nerve damage from the seat belt. The EMT said in his 20 years on the job, he had never seen anyone walk away from an accident of the same magnitude. I still deal with severe ptsd symptoms including a horrible fear of driving. I'm hoping I can gain control of my fear with these videos so thank you for the accessibility.
I'm so sorry you had to endure such a terrible accident and the physical and mental repercussions may not be seen by others, but they'll make up who you are today. So I'm very impressed that you feel ready to start learning to drive. The biggest thing for you to remember will be patience. Because it may take a long time for you to feel totally comfortable with driving or even being in the drivers seat of a car ...and that's ok. Find yourself an understanding driving instructor, a counselor if you need to talk through things as they crop up and then as I say in these video's just go for it. Practice will help you trust the road and help you see that this one accident is not going to be your only driving story. In my mind, you're already making progress.
I’m a 40 year old woman who hasn’t driven in almost 20 years , thankful to have found your videos - I’m currently studying the manual for my state (I’m the US), watching these videos was the boost I needed
Thank you so much for this! I am a 30 year old woman who has only just got back behind the wheel for the first time in nearly 10 years and it was extremely nerve wracking, mainly due to my fear of being watched by others and being judged. It also doesn't help that my parents have pretty much tried to discourage me from driving since I started learning 13 years ago as they fear for my safety on the road and have basically projected their own anxieties onto me. When I told them my partner and I had bought a car the other week, they weren't exactly beaming with delight for us and instead kept saying stuff like, "But would it not be better and easier for you to walk or get a bus?" and things along those lines. I just want some independence and to rely less on public transport and lifts from other people without thinking about my parents' concerns for my safety.
I shall take on board your tips and continue to watch the rest of your videos! 🙂
I don't know why I didn't notice your comment before ... 🤦♀️but I hope you're still driving!!
Are you still driving? How did you overcome? I can very well relate with you!!still struggling
Your comment could have been written by me, your situation is eerily similar to mine. Because my mum in particular is like your parents it's led me to feel like I'm doing something wrong by being behind the wheel which is causing a horrible burden on me mentally. I hope you were able to overcome your anxiety! It would be great to hear back from you about your progress.
I was near tears in anticipation of my driving lesson this evening, and listening to this has really helped where no one else has. Your soothing voice and "so what?" has made me feel so much better!
I'm so glad. And hopefully the driving lesson was not as bad as you had anticipated.
I grew up in NYC. I took the subway, buses and a ferry to get to work or to go out with friends. I owned a car but it was used primarily for errands. I always had a fear of driving. I am not sure if i have a mistrust of my driving but think its more of how careless other drivers are. You video gives me hope. I was also having some health issues which affected my vision so that slowed down my progress. I will start a list of benefits as you mentioned. Thanks
Thankyou so much for this. I drive but I only drive to work and back which is a 15 minute drive if that. i panic if i need to drive somewhere new, even if its local. I panic that I wont have anywhere to park and that I'll make a fool of myself. like everyone is watching me and judging the way I drive. or i wont know the way. it stops me from taking myself to doctors appointments or to see friends. please make more of these videos:)
I'm glad you found this video helpful. I have a few more of them that you can find in this playlist ruclips.net/p/PLlhU5CGlNSZzyEPmTqeeOq0pM8b3vP5Bb and I have more planned for the future. Your fear is a common one and goes hand in hand with feeling socially anxious and worrying about other people's opinions of you. I would imagine that driving is not the only time you worry about this. And most of it is imagined fear, thinking about 'what if this happens... or that happens?' Getting a plan together to drive a little more than you need to everyday will certainly help you start to gain more confidence. Maybe set a goal for yourself this month to drive to 5 new places that aren't too far away. Like a cinema (yes you have to park there even if you don't go inside to watch a movie), parking at a grocery store, at a restaurant you've never been to before, to your doctors office. You get the idea. You'll start to realise that other people are too busy thinking about themselves that they don't even notice your driving. And, if you do happen to make a wrong turn and get lost, you'll be OK!
If it makes you guys feel any better, I literally have anxiety just thinking about driving. Idk how I even got my license
Me too and i got my licence in two different countries twice hahaha
You're not alone. I'm 39 and got my license at 27. I haven't driven a car since. I only drove just to get my license to land me certain jobs but driving in NYC is not enjoyable for me.
i'm excited to do it and i only have a learner's permit
Me too. I have to depends on ppl to driving but they r not available all time. So I am stuck
Exactly the same situation as me. I want to get over that though. I’m tired of depending on people.
Hi! I'm from Brazil. I want to say that you're the only one on RUclips that helped me to feel some confidence to drive. I was looking for a video with useful tips like this one, because I really wanna overcome my driving anxiety. Your tips was so helpful for me. I'll practice. Thank you so much!
That's so wonderful to hear Nathy Lia. I believe you can do it! Just keep practicing. You're likely to have bad (anxiety) days when you don't feel you can face it, but don't let it keep you from practicing for long. Just get back in the driving seat as much and as soon as you can.
Also. You can do it! Trust yourself, you deserve the freedom and independence of driving. Never give up. Follow these tips, keep going!!
Thank you for this video! I hope I can finally get over this fear that has stopped me from driving for almost 10 years.
I'm so scared of embarassing myself in front of others that I can't even get the car out of the garage. I guess that's the place to start...
Yeeessss! You can do this. Those neighbors are so busy worrying about their own issues that they're not even noticing how you're driving out of the garage. Start small and often, and keep going.
Indeed, take your power back! You can do it!! Driving is freedom and greater independence. Trust yourself to drive safely and well.
Who got this!
I know I’m real late, but IM currently 18 and it be making me feel so bad about myself to see all my peers driving and they learn so quickly and have no fear. Then theirs me so much anxiety.
I've been struggling with driving anxiety for as long as I've been driving and having just moved to a new city it has gotten even worse. Thank you SO much for this video! It is really helpful!
Yes, unfamiliar places can make it seem so much worse. You'll soon get used to those new roads though. Allow yourself to get lost sometimes ... it will seem difficult, but it's the best way to learn a new city.
I ride my motorcycle and enjoy every bit of it. Cars give me anxiety the steering wheel and stuff, I feel tensed. This video made me relaxed and I feel like I must give some more try. Thanks again. Cheers!
You make a good point. We can easily tense up in the car because we are gripping on to the steering wheel. So remember to check in with your driving posture every now and again when behind the wheel. Posture is important for your breathing, and breathing is important for reducing anxiety. So it's all related. I hope you give the car another chance!
Thank you for this video. I am 40 years old without a driving license. Just started practising and everybody is yelling at me. I will write down my fears and i will let you know how it goes.
I'm 40 too, and going for my test soon. I'm really hoping to get over the anxiety. Good luck!!
Hope all is well! I’m 25 and I’m trying to practice, it’s hard depending on my husband to drive me and both of our kids around but I’m beyond scared 😭😭 proud of you for getting out there and I hope your journey is going well still !!!! 😭💕
Hi, I hope you are doing well. I passed my test :) all the best to you guys.
I’m so glad I found this comment. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one getting their license later on in life. I always started to learned but never fully went through with it. I’m doing it this time!
All the best to you... I have the license now and I started doing grocery shopping and I try my best to drive atleast 15 minutes monday-friday. I have an excel file to track my progress.
Thank you for these tips, it's been a year I got my driving licence and that was the last time I drove (At the Test) I have been so scared to drive. Now I have drawn up my plan of action and won't let fear hold me back. Love your content !
I'm so pleased to hear this ... let me know how you get on. You can do it!
This is so helpful. I was very confident in my first months of driving lessons then I began making more mistakes that my driving instructor kept shouting load every time she thought I would crash and then said some hash words that made me aware that I was putting everyone at risk. I began to crumble and even though I passed my test on the first try, I never managed to come back to my confident self. Now I drive my boyfriends car sometimes and the same things happen when he is sitting on the passenger seat. I can feel his anxiety and he is always correcting me, he means well but driving when there is lots of traffic and with a driver as a passenger makes me want to give up immediately, like doesn’t matter how much I try, I am never going to get it. I hope that once I get my own car, this level of stress will go down and I will be able to grow more confident again 🙏🏽
Having people shout or criticize you about anything will not foster positive feelings. So I agree, when you get your own car, being able to drive on your own will be good for your confidence. In the meantime, it might be good to assume an 'alter ego' while driving. I have a video about it here ruclips.net/video/vkLSZXGxhi0/видео.html. But choose a celebrity, character, sports figure or any person you admire and channel their energy when you are driving. It can really give you the confidence to step out of your comfort zone.
@@GenerationCalm This is fantastic, thank you so much for your suggestion and support! I won't give up! :D xx
Thank you so much for this video! I used to be very happy and comfortable while driving, but recently I fainted behind the wheel and it has completely shattered my driving ability. Every-time I get behind the wheel now I am in fear of doing it again, and some times I physc myself out so much I have come close to doing so. I drive long hours from home to school often and I simply cannot feed this fear of driving anymore. I’m tired of being restricted like this and I’m excited to be comfortable driving again! Thank you so much for these videos!
I'm so sorry to hear about your fainting incident. I hope you can gain more confidence with time and I'm so happy you used the word 'excited'.
Thanks for this, these tips are helpful! My biggest fears when driving are anticipating traffic at roundabouts and joining the motorway.
I hope it helps to know you're not alone Jemma. A recent study out this summer said that nearly a quarter of all Brits are anxious about driving on motorways, and I would bet most of that is about joining on the sliproad. Keep going, because with practice it does become easier (and dare I say) enjoyable!
Please help me 😢. I feel trapped. I am scared and when I drive I panic. I drive but hate it. I am just like your friend!!! I am scared of getting lost, can't find my way home, get dizzy and I get so scared it feels like places I know look foreign. Help. I guy I liked started dating someone else because he said if he needed me if he needed help I could not help him 😭. Forget him but I want to help myself
Anxiety feels awful and dizziness is just one of the many sensations that it can give you. The anxiety appears because your brain sees being in the car as a threatening situation. So one of the first things you can do is recognize the thoughts you tell yourself about driving. Because those thoughts are very good at starting tension in the body and trigger anxiety. One of them is probably "I'm going to get lost", so write down your thoughts after your next few drives, what would it mean if you got lost?. Take the time to notice them. And in the meantime, try slowing down your breath while in the car...it's a great way to gain control over your anxiety.
Don't let that guy add to your baggage. I once met a good, Christian man who never drove (he was in the USA on a student visa at the time) and when my driving anxiety got real bad HE went and got a license so he could help ME out. Today he is my husband and we have two beautiful children. That's the kind of guy you want: a real man who wants to lead, serve and provide, not a boy who will run away in fear and criticize you for your weaknesses. Be real and authentic and let a good man love you -- even in your imperfections. You're worth it! God bless!
@@michaelshelbysuberlak i'm not christian but damn he's badass
The second tip was the key for me getting a drivers license at age of 36.
Fantastic, it's never too late!
Thanks, this has been really quite useful, since covid my driving anxiety has gone up. I sound like Lavender! People zooming around too fast doesn’t help me so I avoid busy times but it’s annoying having to plan all the time.
Covid has upped stress levels which generally increases anxiety too. So it's to be expected. But take your time, and start gently pushing yourself to drive more often and you'll find the fear gradually fades away.
I sympathise with Lavender, I don’t like motorways either! Great tips!
Thanks Sarah, yes the motorways are the most problematic!
@@GenerationCalm Back when I learned to drive the UK system was not allowed to teach students motorway driving at all. It was deemed too dangerous to let learner drivers onto a motorway without a licence. Consequently all new licence holders at that time had zero motorway experience from day one. This is a triumph of bureaucracy over common sense.
@@CasualInventor So true! I remember taking some extra driving lessons after passing my test because I wanted some experience driving on motorways.
great video, thanks claire! i feel so stupid having these anxious feelings, my partner tries to be supportive, he says im a good driver and his daughter and another friend of mine, i think i just need to learn to believe it myself
You make a great point, and I'm in the process of making a video about driving anxiety and beliefs. Because you can practice all you like but if you don't believe you can drive well, it will always be a struggle. It won't matter what others say, or the evidence...you need to believe you are a capable driver.
Katyemma 45, I just made a video about driving anxiety and beliefs that you might find useful. ruclips.net/video/pBN4IniUpgs/видео.html
I didn’t realize you were the same one who does meditations until you mentioned it. I just subscribed to all notifications!!
Disclaimer, this is NOT advice, this is just my story.
Until a few months ago I had really bad driving anxiety. It started in 2017 with mental checking issues (OCD) - I'd drive past a pedestrian and think I'd hit them. It was debilitating. I stopped driving until this year (2020).
By this time, the pedestrian thing wasn't really an issue, as it just dissipated (maybe because I didn't think about it for so long). This time driving anxiety had manifested into a whole new issue - just driving itself, the feeling of losing control, once I needed to speed up, feeling like roads were too big and I was too small and that I'd faint behind the wheel.
My fixes were:
- Always having someone in the car with me
- Starting driving slowly, in big circles in a deserted shopping centre car-park i.e. driving in a controlled, safe environment.
-Driving with sunglasses, they made my world less stimulating due to dulling all light, so I'd feel calmer. I've never driven with them before.
- Manifesting the anxiety the first time I drove on a main road as shaking only and not thoughts.
- Watching driving ASMR videos!!
- Realising that I used to love driving, and allowing myself to feel "this is nice" while driving
- Acknowledging that feeling brave often feels like being scared. The fear may not all go away, and this is fine (so long as it's not dangerous for myself or others, if so, start back at the beginning, take it slow again).
I am YET to drive alone, but I'll get there. I am female in my 20s, my RUclips name is fake.
Thank you so much for sharing what has worked for you so far. You have explained it so well. (I didn't even know driving ASMR video's were a thing). I hope others will see this comment and know that they too can work out their own plan to overcome driving anxiety. Well done you! You've come a long way in three years.
@@GenerationCalm Thanks. :) Yes, definitely, driving ASMR helped so much too. And there are SO many of them, from small backroad stuff, to highway stuff. :)
@@GenerationCalm It helped that I also got sort of angry at the anxiety, I was sick of it. That helped.
I should add, that driving slowly, in a deserted shopping centre car-park really "re-set" my sense of calm while driving. It was the going super slowly (like under 5km) that really helped!!!
That is such an important point. That first step (and it will be different for everyone) is supposed to be super-easy.
My accident was at work (on the subway) 😢 I have never been the same since. The anxiety of driving, vehicles and people improperly crossing is overwhelming and debilitating. 😢😢 Thank you for this 🙏
Thank you. I hope I'll be able to get over my driving anxiety. Each time I sit in the driver's seat ,I just feel so terrified. I'm just scared to drive alone. If someone who knows driving is with me, then I feel better.
Start where you feel comfortable. If that's driving alongside another driver, then start there. If you just need to sit in the car and go nowhere to start feeling more relaxed in the driver's seat, then do that. It doesn't matter how or where you start to get over your fear ... just start somewhere. You can do this!
Thanks Clare. You were really spot on, on your tips and they would really be of help once i am behind the steering. I hope to soon get out of the this anxiety as it has greatly affected my work and lifestyle. I used to drive long distance, within and intercity until when some silly thoughts gets into me and i start having thoughts of loosing control of the steering and having a crash. I trust that will be all over as i gradually apply these tips! God bless you!
Yes, it's when the anxiety gets in the way of living life that it becomes a problem. But I believe you can get back to where you were before with some patience and determination. Good luck with it all!
Im having the same fears. Are you still struggling with these fears? If not, what did you do to help?
I have been driving for 17 years, always felt comfortable driving, even in big cities. But a year ago I had my second child, I had a scary moment 2 months postpartum with my kids in the car. And since then I started having driving anxiety. I didn’t even know what anxiety was until that moment. I’m not afraid of driving but as soon as I’m in the car, my mind takes over and I start shaking and my vision starts getting weird 😔 and that interrupts my driving
Many people, like yourself, have an incident that will start driving anxiety. And normally you might be able to brush it off but if you are going through a stressful time (having a baby definitely counts), have kids in the car etc. it can all add up to making it a prime time for a driving phobia to start. We know you can drive well, you've been doing it for 17 years, but your confidence has been shaken. Anxiety causes physical symptoms that make you feel like you are not fit enough to drive ... but you are. A good place to start is to use breathing techniques to reduce the anxiety sensations you're feeling once you get in the car. This 5 minute meditation may help ruclips.net/video/BQ7oNZVL8CY/видео.html. And I have a whole video series on driving anxiety that may help you too ruclips.net/p/PLlhU5CGlNSZzyEPmTqeeOq0pM8b3vP5Bb
Thank you I will check them out 😊
This is my current situation
@@kayladewaard4019hang in there, I overcame my driving anxiety little by little.
Dear Clare.. you are the best Mentor! The way you talk and explain or educate is really perfect!
Thank you so much for the compliment!
Thanks so much for this, cuz where I'm from people don't take you seriously when you don't know how to drive after 16 but, so what? Now is my time 😇
Love your attitude! You're absolutely right...you can drive in your own sweet time. People get away with not driving more easily when they live in a major city, they don't stand out as unusual. But there seems to be a certain expectation for anyone else. You'll know when you're ready. Just make sure it's a decision you're making from the heart and not out of fear.
a lovely video, and a lovely voice, thank you. Something which I found very helpful after I had passed my driving test and had to drive on a motorway a day or two later - incredibly stressful - was to book a two hour Motorway Driving lesson with my instructor: invaluable.
Yes, I did exactly the same thing. It definitely helped me build up my confidence. Thanks for watching!
Thank you so much. I will do the writing part later in the day. So I can start focusing on driving to get my driver license. That so what?? statement was amazing. You deserve more credit.
You're so very welcome. I love that you're taking action. The 'so what' works well because by the end of it you're reduced to something that is so insignificant. And you probably don't give yourself enough credit..because if your car were to break down or you get lost...you'll cope better than you think you will. Good luck!
@@GenerationCalm Thank you for the encouragement.
if the road is quiet then it may calm her anxiety and increase her confidence once she's had a good drive!
Absolutely agree! Practicing on quiet roads are really helpful. x
Thank you!!!!! OMGGGG I NEEDED this
Hello! It is really great video and tips! I’m trying to get over my driving fear last 2 years but still I couldn’t manage it. Driving anxiety ruining my life more and more every day. when I think about driving or when I am driving, I always picturing myself killing somebody or an animal accidentally and going to jail or live desperate after this. I don’t know why this picture stuck in my head but it is troubling me to get over it😓
It is no surprise that you're scared of driving if that troubling picture is in your mind. We know it's not true yet it comes back time and time again. And you're certainly not alone. A talking therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy would probably help best in this situation because it would combine challenging your thoughts in a safe way with actual action (so starting to drive again in your own time). You might just need a few sessions to make a start, but then you could continue making progress on your own. Therapists are more accessible than ever now that Covid has prompted them to go online. You can do this ... I get the impression that you're motivated to make a change!
Generation Calm Thank you so much! I am glad for your advices and help! CBT was in my mind too and online therapy might be so much easier! I appreciate your help!
why is your voice sooo soothing? I love u so much. You have no idea how much it helped me. I have also answered your survery and would love to know the update on your book.
Oh my thank you for this!!!!! I have my license. Driven a few other people's cars. I once drove my friend's car on expressway to Schaumburg from Chicago. The guy who taught me how to drive to pass the driving test had me practice on the expressway and also driving downtown. I successfully did all of that and remembered being comfortable and confident. That was 2012/2013 when I got my license and even before getting my license I had little driving experience but I havent driven in awhile and someone recently gave me their old car. I am so embarrassed and disheartened because I am so nervous and my anxiety is through the roof. This will be my first car and I am practicing every day but I am so anxious that I am tense and cant rest when I am in the house and not driving. I think I too also worry about what other drivers would think about my driving. And for the life of me I cant get back comfortable with some of my turns. 🤦🏾 I need confidence.
It's really tough when you take a break from driving and don't get a chance to drive regularly. Now that you are taking the opportunity to drive again it seems that some pesky negative thoughts are getting in the way of you enjoying your drives. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you can drive well ... you passed the test, you've driven through a very big and busy city. But that big gap in driving has knocked your confidence and it's time to take back the wheel (pardon the pun). For you, I would suggest starting a driving journal. Write down your thoughts, beliefs and concerns about driving. Brainstorm what skills you want to improve upon. Take one skill at a time and log how you are improving. Take the time to note down how you feel before or after a drive. Notice when you are more worried. After a while, you won't need the journal at all, but it can really help you separate your worries from your real skills and to see how you are improving. Because at the end of the day, driving is just a skill and all skills can be improved with practice. And as you get more practiced the worries will disappear. I wish you all the luck in the world!
@@GenerationCalm Thank you so very much!!!!!!!! Your kinds words and encouragement are so cherished. I really appreciate them and it has blessed me so. I will definitely keep a journal. I do keep notes on when I take it out for a driving practice to hold myself accountable for practicing. But I will definitely keep a journal like the one you suggested. Thank you so much again!!!!!! And Happy New Year!!!!!!!
Thank you for the video! Been driving for 2 months and I'd still get anxiety especially when driving down an unfamiliar road. I will be trying your tips.
It's still early days for you, so this is the perfect time to practice driving on unfamiliar roads. It will make you grow as a driver and will reduce the anxiety you'll feel over time. Good luck!
@@GenerationCalm I played your videos a few times today before I drove to the mall for the first time! I was nervous but I tried your tips, mainly breathing techniques and saying out loud positive affirmations. Going through the routes via google maps first also helps because it minimize the fear of unknown for me. Thanks again!
@@minav2209 That's brilliant, well done you! It's amazing how effective breathing techniques are ... and so easy to do while driving.
Keep driving, you deserve the freedom and independence of driving without anxiety. You can do it. Practice makes us progressive.
@@nickandchrismom Thank you so much for your encouragement! I will do my best to remember your words especially when I refuse to step out of my comfort zone.
Yes this video is going to help me over come my fear a driving.. bc I have a little panic attack when I get behind the wheel when ik I could do it I just have to use some of these things in this video thank you so much for this video means a lot
I believe my driving anxiety stems from my childhood when I was in the car with family members - we were in several minor accidents over the years due to careless other drivers and it seems to have affected me now into adulthood. I remember waiting as a child for the next accident to happen.
I passed my test when I was 18 but had an awful experience with my driving instructors, I’m now 23 and my driving anxiety affects my daily life. I so badly want to drive by myself to different cities and have adventures. I desperately want to be the person who volunteers to drive instead of jumping at any opportunity for someone else to drive or take public transport. I’m okay driving in areas I know but I get stressed out when it comes to busy places trying to park and the thought of going on the motorway. It’s affected my friendships and they don’t understand and think I’m being selfish by never driving but it’s truly not because I don’t want to but because I physically can’t and I feel shaky and nauseous at the thought of it. My friends think I’m making excuses and being ridiculous and this has lead to me becoming isolated as they don’t want to meet me anymore. I just feel so helpless and pathetic, this video is very useful though and hopefully by taking small steps 2024 will be the year I overcome my driving anxiety fear.
I'm so happy I found you 😭i worry what other people think about me too when I drive
That's a common concern. And sometimes, driving in your own neighborhood, where people might recognize you can also be intimidating.
@@GenerationCalm good to know it is common. I do want to get better. I know it takes times. Every time I feel like I do good I always have setbacks.
You may also find this video helpful when you encounter a setback or you feel like you're not improving ruclips.net/video/PprXGuFn2fk/видео.html
@@GenerationCalm that is a great video thank you 😊 🙏
I know this is an old video but this helped. I’ve been driving for 15 years no problem, actually loved driving. But now suddenly have developed a fear. As of out of nowhere! I cant even drive more than 10 mins away or I’ll have a panic attack. It’s consuming my life. My husband has to drive us everywhere. Thankfully I work from home. I’ll try these!
I hear this a lot! Often a fear that seems to start out of nowhere, actually starts during a period of high stress (like a pandemic)!. We just may not realise we're that stressed. I know it's frustrating and inconvenient at the moment to have your husband drive everywhere, but take your time getting back into the swing of things. Don't try to push yourself too hard, especially if there's still a lot of stress going on right now for you.
Same here
Thank you for this. I had a terrifying experience years ago on a roller coaster at an amusement park where I started to come up out of my seat at the top of a hill. I wasn't buckled tightly enough and had been unable to get a ride attendant's attention before the ride began. I have a lot of difficulty driving on hilly roads because I get that same sensation. I have been trying hard to find routes around town that let me avoid hills. It's so limiting and frustrating.
First ever driving lesson, my instructor yelled and screamed at me the entire time, expecting me to know things I had already explained that I didn't, as it was my first time behind the wheel, basically throwing me into the deepend and expecting me to be Michael Phelps, I didnt have a good instructor until my 11th and 12th sessions, ever since that first lesson where I came home trembling I've hated driving, thank you for a great resource to help people like me
I'm sorry you had such a horrific experience with your first instructor. And good on you for not letting it stop you!! This first experience doesn't have to set the tone for the rest of your driving years though. With some time and practice you'll probably enjoy driving.
Thank you for making these videos! They have been beyond helpful!!
Thank you 😊I'm very glad you like them!
The two questions that you said So What to, which prevent me driving and give me and anxiety an panic, is fear of breaking down an people beeping me to get out the way an just going blank, an having an accident. Been rear ended before so I'm always rushing then being relaxed.
Sorry I didn't reply to your comment before, I missed it somehow! It sounds like you worry about what others might think or getting in the way of other drivers. That's understandable with having been rear ended before. It's amazing how we worry about these situations, but they rarely happen. Our brain focuses on the negative more than all the positive driving experiences.
Thank you, the tips are very helpful, especially the so what part and writing down a positive affirmation to see and say before you drive.
You're so welcome! Yes, sometimes having a post-it note with an affirmation written down can really help to charge up a positive mindset.
Oh my, I felt like you were talking about me. I too am in my 40's. My triggers are stoplights and and turns at super busy intersections. I've driven fairly comfortable all my driving years up until 7 yrs ago. I was under a lot of stress at my workplace - I ended up with insomnia, anxiety due to all stress and lack of sleep. I felt I couldn't drive myself safely anymore .Plus I ended up obtaining a job where I could work from home . Which was convenient but also hindered me from pushing myself to drive more often. I do drive sometimes in my town where I feel comfortable but not as often as I should. I will try your tips and take it slowly till I reach my goal. My goal is to meet up with my friends for dinner like I used to before and obtaining a new job in the city.
Sounds like you were meant to find this video. I love that you already have the goal in mind because it will keep you motivated. You can absolutely do this!
Im a new driver and this is a constant for me I pray I get over this
It just takes some time and practice. Most people feel nervous as a new driver, you can get past this!
@@GenerationCalm thank you 😊
Thank you so much for making these video's. My grandmother and grandfather died in a car accident I was going to ride with her that day but I didn't only due to riding with my parents instead that day. I have been very anxious about driving ever since because I would have been in the car with them when it happened... I have a severe reaction of fear when people even talk about car accidents. CBT is a incredible way to heal and I am working on this but your video's have helped me so much ❤
I am so sorry for your loss and the tragic accident that you could have been in yourself. It's really no wonder that driving anxiety has been a result of this. I'm so glad you have sought out help and CBT is a reliable therapy to see results. Just remember to be gentle with yourself during this process, even a small step forward is very brave in my opinion!
Thank you so much for some great advice I have failed my test but I feel I want to try again and get my licence I do have lots of experience but when the test starts nerves take over
It's absolutely normal to feel nervous for tests, but maybe you are putting a little too much pressure on yourself. Go into your next test with the attitude that it doesn't matter if you pass or not. It's all a learning experience. No judgements. Celebrate the process of going for the test, rather than only celebrating if you pass. It's easy to get caught up with other people when they start saying they passed first time round. Take no notice of them, you're on your own timeline. I didn't pass first time either. That was over 20 years ago, and although it felt like a big deal at the time, I haven't thought about it since. You can do this!
I gotta watch this video every time I drive now thank you sweetie!
Glad it helps!
Consider the car as a portable prayer closet, play soothing music, have a mint in your mouth to keep your breathing calm..enjoy the ride 🙏
Love this idea!
Hello! 👋🏽 Fellow anxious driver here. I recently moved to a new country and I am anxious to drive here. Not only because it’s a new country, but my overall fear of death and dying. I’m scared I’m going to die(heart attack, stroke etc.) while driving and no one will be able to help me. I’m hoping this video can help reduce that anxiety/panic/dread.
I have anxiety stopping and then starting from the roundabouts and i get so scared on the uphills too. Also, i have anxiety when i enter a unknown road or when i have to stop in the middle of road for parking or when i am searching some place when i am driving.
I use to love driving everywhere. I got my license at 16 and drove all over the place. I had a panic attack a few years ago on the interstate and it had debilitated me. I still drive but I still get nervous.
This channel deserves to be Subscribe.❤
When I’m on the freeway at random intersections my body and legs tense up and I feel frozen like I can’t breathe or move and my sweaty hand grips the wheel extra tightly to avoid somehow losing control, I’ve already tried defusing the anxiety and allowing it to manifest by “so what” but it still peaks and gets bad, what do you suggest?
By gripping the wheel tightly you will also be tightening your shoulders and neck. Unfortunately, this will send a signal to your brain that you're in danger (even if you're not). So all the horrible sensations will be intensified. When you notice the first signs that your muscles are freezing up or tightening, try your best to adjust your posture so that you're feeling more relaxed. So shuffle your bottom right back into the seat, lower your shoulders from your ears, grip the wheel less tightly. This should all have the effect of calming down your anxiety.
Such great tips, have subscribed, you have such a calm voice as well! x
Brilliant Justina! Thanks for such lovely comments.
Love your tips, gonna be trying them tomorrow
Good luck!! Go easy on yourself, you don't have to remember everything all at once. That's what your lessons are for. Will be thinking of you tomorrow!
You are a GOD send!
your talk is curing me psycologically in all sides of life not only in driving ,,,,,,,i live in germany and i hope after 3 times failure to succeed this time
You got this!! Don't give up
Thank you. I have appreciated you!
IM GOING TO try this. I have had issues with anxiety while driving. some days are better than others. but lately it has gotten worse. i rather stay home than to venture out. i used to enjoy driving to GA from Florida but it seems impossible. i miss driving up north to visit my best friend.
Having a long term goal such as driving up to see your friend is good motivation to get started.
Thankyou so much for your video. Ive been driving for the past 4 years and never had any problem even when I was learning, my dad would even get me to drive through the mountains and on the freeway and I was always fine, and even enjoyed it. But one day I was driving home from uni on top of a bridge and I started to feel like I was not in control and that the car was driving itself, and so after that I avoided going on that specific bridge because it would fill me with immense anxiety but I was still feeling fine driving elsewhere. Then about 1 year later I was driving home and I was about to enter a random freeway but I suddenly felt like I couldn't breath and then couldnt even bring myself to drive myself home, and since then I have not been able to drive more than 10 minutes from my house without my anxiety symptoms making me feel like I am not capable of driving. I have no idea what to do as it feels like I will never get back to how I was driving before
You describe how your fear of driving has formed very well. It's easy to understand how it has snowballed from that one incident on the bridge. Step 1 for you, is likely to be figuring out a goal. Everyone's goal is different and can range from being able to drive to a conference 2 hours away, to driving to the nearest store. Once you have a goal, you can figure out how to achieve it. You can do this!
I'm a doordasher and this is something I needed
Well as a Doordasher, you'll definitely get the driving practice
I got my licence in my main country, didnt drive much then moved to other country, had to get licence again and i got it again, i had lots of driving hours, but i get anxiety even when i think about driving next day, im scared of small roads, small turns, im scared i will make damage on my car, im scared of big crosses where i have to think fully who i need to let go and when i can go... mostly i hate this anxiety before even driving and it makes me to say no to drive... i feel shitty
Learning to drive in a different country can be a challenge, so well done for getting your license. It sounds like you get anticipatory anxiety, where you get anxious beforehand when you think about the driving. When this happens, it can be a struggle to get out there and do it. It's very similar to how some people feel nervous before going out to a party if they have social anxiety. Remember, you don't need to be completely relaxed before your drive, but too much anxiety will prevent you from wanting to go out. Try using a meditation like this ruclips.net/video/Fd20cAQKYnE/видео.html before a drive. Another thing would be to write down your thoughts as they pop into your mind the day before your drive, and look at each one and examine how true they really are. For example, if your thought is 'I'll make a mistake at a crossroads' - how true is that? Have you made a mistake at a crossroad before? Lots of people do, and the worst that happens is you'll get a rude hand signal from another driver. By writing them down, it stops the thoughts from going round and round in your mind too much.
Wow, finally someone in the same position as me :)
You'd be surprised how many are out there, just too embarrassed to say anything!
I have a clean license 22 years I haven’t driven on the motorway 🛣️ for 10 years B roads only ! Today I stayed on one slip road I am going to try again x I think my hang anxiety coursed this I am sober one year so I plan to get back on track with driving. X
Thank you so much i can't breathe when I'm starting to drive because I'm so focus that I'm going to do something wrong
If you can, think about a goal you want to be able to drive for. Whether it's to be able to go for the perfect job, go on a daytrip, meet up with friends or just to have some independence. And then keep that goal in mind before you get in the car. It will keep you motivated! And notice how you're breathing. Then do your best to slow it down, particularly your out breath. It will really help you calm you down.
Thank you so much I have driving axiaty .mine is more when I drive with someone and they tell me oh turn here and break then I do all the wrong things..this video.has helped me
Ah yes, the dreaded 'backseat driver' ... always guaranteed to make you nervous. Very glad you are working on your driving anxiety though.
My name is Lavender too and these tips are going to help. Thank you!
You can do this Lavender!
I’m 23 and I’m afraid of getting into an accident especially on the highway. I have my license but I don’t drive often and I never get on the highway. I’ve driven on backroads to my college which is 20-30 minutes away but that’s as far as I’ve gone. In recent years, i haven’t driven at all. What should I do to over come the fear of a bad accident. I’m scared that I’ll get badly injured or worse.
It's really hard to drive when your thoughts are you'll crash. Your brain is telling you it's really unsafe, so you'll get all those telltale anxiety symptoms. So take it slow! Start by working out what your motivation is. Will being able to drive wherever you want open up new possibilities to you? Then start taking note of your thoughts about driving (you already mentioned one in the comment). Remind yourself that these are just thoughts, not facts. And when you are ready, start driving on quiet roads and work you way up to faster/ busier roads only when you feel ready. It'll take some time and commitment, but you'll do it.
@@GenerationCalm thanks 😊
@@GenerationCalm thanks, i have the same problem
Been stuck in my county for about 8-10 years now because of my driving anxiety. I've tried numerous therapists. None helped. My son is about to turn 3 and my wife is going to be taking him on all manner of adventures, just the two of them. I've been gradually becoming more and more depressed about missing out on these huge experiences with my son. Not sure what to do anymore.
thank you for this❤
I have terrible anxiety driving on the motorway since a panic attack a few years ago.. I have tried hypnosis and it has calmed me down in general, but I still panic on the motorway and slow down to 40mph! Any tips would be great!
Panic attacks feel terrible and we'll do anything to avoid having another one! So it makes sense that motorways still make you nervous. The biggest tip would be to practice on faster, non-motorway roads. So, 1 and 2 lane highways that are anywhere between 50-70 mph. They're not quite as scary and intimidating as a motorway and probably won't create the same panicky feelings for you. But start practicing at quieter times, gradually moving up to practicing at busier times and then, only when you're ready, move on to motorways. You'll get there, but it takes some time and patience.
I need to start driving after having panic attacks due to anaemia. I have been driving for 35 years and cannot understand why my driving changed and would like help in getting back on the road
I love the so what that really makes me feel better
I think my highway driving comes from being afraid of wide open spaces bc I had a panic attack on top of a mountain and now whenever I’m up high or in a wide open space I panic, like on the highway. Would these steps help this?
These steps, taken from CBT, will help with most phobias and panic/anxiety. Start small though, and take just one area to work on (like the highway) and work up to it. Find a route where you can get on and off quite easily in very little traffic, and keep practicing until you feel more comfortable.
I was terrified of driving for years I’m just starting the steps of getting over my fear
I'm so happy to hear you're moving forward ... you can do this!
Can you please record a audio we can listen to. Your voice is amasing! Love to have you with me in the car
That's a great idea, will plan one out soon. In the meantime, I have an affirmations video which may be helpful ruclips.net/video/Fd20cAQKYnE/видео.html
What if your thoughts are what if I get in an accident from my highway/roadway anxiety..Instead of saying so what what should I say to myself?
Great question! So, if we're talking about a small, 'rear-ended' type of accident with no injuries, I'd still be inclined to ask yourself the 'so what?' question. Because a.) it's not very likely to happen and b.) you'll cope a lot better than you think you will. However, if you're worried about getting into a big crash, then i have a couple of alternatives. 1. A thought challenging diary, where you put your negative thought under interrogation as if in a court of law. You'll see what I mean from the picture in this web page www.psychologytools.com/resource/court-trial-thought-challenging-record/. Or 2. Fear-setting, where you fully envision and write down your fears and the consequences, here's the TED talk explaining it www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals?referrer=playlist-motivation_for_the_new_year_and_every_day_really
This was very helpful. Thanks.
Thank you so much. You're so very welcome!
My biggest fear is the news and other media bringing up road rage incidents that result in someone being shot. It makes me very anxious driving around aggressive drivers, especially if I'm not going fast enough for them or turn cautiously. With their tailgating, honking, going around and cutting me off, I always fear they'll get that pissed off and shoot at me. I'm not going to drive faster to appease them. It just seems like this has become a problem, all around, post COVID.
I've got a test in October and in my mock I was feeling so anxious I don't understand how I'll get through the test, been learning for ages should be perfect now😭
Thanks for this
You're welcome!
Hi so my problem is driving on hwy or bridge. Hard to stop or pull over when my anxiety comes in. So what other method can use? Thx
Hey there!
I was wondering what would happen if my driving anxiety developed rather recently. Like last week. I drive an hour long commute on the highway 5 days a week and my palms start to sweat and I get on edge in certain parts. I dread the commute now and I literally skipped classes for a whole week in part due to the anxiety. I have to be able to go to classes for 10 more weeks (other than spring break and april break). My commute is to a place so far away that almost no one I know commutes there. I have a friend that's willing to drive me for one day next week but, I'm not sure if he can do it the other weeks. I just really need a quick way to handle this. I feel far less anxiety when I drive locally and I practice breathing and now am starting to practice progressive muscle relaxation. I'm trying to gain my confidence back quickly as my school's future depends on this. Please let me know what I can do!
YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
Thank you so much
This is brilliant! Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it
I got my license last year but my fear is what if I’m too stupid to drive well? I don’t have anyone in my life that’s willing to teach me
My motorway fear is on the bends and switching lane … so if I say what if I lose control and crash the “so what “ isn’t helping as I could die and cause others to die… I’m petrified at the moment and trying to work through this … so these videos are fab … but if you could help me get round what to do with the “so what” part I’d appreciate any advice x
Yes, I agree, the 'what if's' are not much use if you think you will die. So instead you can switch it around and think of all the times you have not lost control of the car. Even if you haven't driven much on the motorway, you can include times you've had to drive around corners, roundabouts, had to switch lanes on dual carriageways etc. How many times have you been successful vs made a mistake? Unless we have the facts in front of us, we tend to overestimate the risks. What you're trying to do here is open yourself up to the idea of improving a skill. I hope that helps! And good luck!
So nice....Like ur each word
So nice of you, thank you!
Not sure I am hitting the break correctly
Hi what to if someone make fun and make you down your driving is not good
How would you make a baby step list for tall overpasses? I mean, once you are on, you are on the overpass and you cant really take baby steps. Any suggestions for a multi step approach?
You make a good point! But not all overpasses are made equal. The idea would be to find some that are shorter or less intimidating (more like bridges) and practice on those first. Only once you are comfortable with those would you try to drive on one of the longer and more intense overpasses. It takes a bit of effort to research where they are and then practice - but it will be worth it!
The overpasses are my biggest fear 😢
When you're ready, start adding some small overpasses into your driving route. After a while, it will become second nature. But I'm not going to lie, it will be scary at first. But if you try a route where you can get on and off an overpass, loop around and do it again, you get over your fear pretty quickly. Hope this helps!