It’s three years since I had my first lesson and coming up to two years since I passed my practical test. I put off learning to drive for over 25 years out of fear. My driving instructor used to say that no-one was born with a steering wheel in their hands. To everyone reading this who’s anxious - if I can do it, so can you! Keep learning, keep practicing. It does get easier, much easier. All of the things that you might be stressing about, for example, finding the biting point or roundabouts, I was the same. Now I don’t even consciously think about them, it’s as easy as walking. You can do it!
Yes I agree with you have written - definately not straight forward than it sounds to overcome fear of driving. Be cautious and get help from others. I searched round a few sites and discovered a lot of great advice by searching google on websites like Roys Quick Fix. Good luck and hope you succeed!
Thanks for that. Sometimes I feel like my driving instructors are more concerned with getting through their programme than actually finding solutions. One of them said to me the other day, “ I don’t get why you’re not getting this.” 🤦🏽♂️
The risk is there, true, rational. The risk is very small but worrying about it will increase the risk. You have to accept a small amount of risk when using a car and try and enjoy what it brings to you.
This video is going to help me .. I have completed my 28 lessons still struggling and often confused . When I gear up at 3rd gear I am always thinking that it’s going to be out of control and may be I will hurt someone. Your this video is making me think about my anxiety and my mistakes.
@@goharsadaf4941 Don't worry. I think I completed more than 50 lessons ..I started with automatic cars last year ..then my car got broken and I stopped driving for 10 months, I changed to manual car like a new learner ..I stopped counting the lessons and the money I spent for learning ..got an accident ..stopped driving for two months ..I started some lesson hahahaha funny story ..full of anxiety and I am still going 😂
I am 41 and feel ashamed of going to driving instructors who make fun of me, I had few bad experiences when I was young while learning to drive, so I thought I can never be a good driver and quit for many years. But Now at this age and with a family I feel ashamed of depending on others for conveyance. I regret not learning to drive for so long, but recently I started learning and after few good lessons feel it’s doable and I can drive. Hope I get better at it and make my family happy.
I nearly quit my driving lessons entirely because I had to go through so many instructors. I thought I was the problem. Turns out I just needed the right one for me, and needed extra practice in order to feel confident in my driving. It's okay it took longer, because I got my license 5 days ago and it was worth all the doubting and fear. Thanks for your amazing videos!
I literally have an instructor who behaves like a complete piece of shit with me. All he cares about is raising his voice at me trying to prove a point against me, even if I literally never respond or argue at all, i actually over-apologize but he literally thinks i don't listen to him even if I commit a small mistake.
@@64scolipede literally my instructor, but today when i was doing reverse park i stalled twice and i was really tired i went to my lesson right after work and i wasnt well focused, he yelled at me and said i would stop and go back home if i stall again so i got mad and he felt guilty becuz i started shaking and had to get out of the car to calm myself down, afterwards he started complimenting me when i did great just to make me feel better (still not feeling better i cried when i came back home, not becuz of him only but becuz my confidence went so down im not satisfied with my parking and driving in general today)
You're a good instructor not only because you're knowledgeable, and have a sense of humour, but also understand learner's difficulties, and compassionate.
I got my driving license 7 years ago and never drove after that out of fear. I kept thinking how one mistake could literally cost me my life or I could kill somebody else. I realize now that was mostly because I never felt like I have good control over the car. I've been watching your videos for a while and learned so many important things I wasn't aware of! No wonder I kept stalling the car and causing it to move in a jerky fashion. Now with my new knowledge I started driving a little with my husband and this time I'm actually excited to get behind the wheel! Still a little anxious, but not like the first time I was learning. I feel how I'm making progress and I actually enjoy driving! I don't know how to thank you enough for this and I really wish I could pay you somehow! Maybe consider giving us the option to donate to the channel? Thank you very much for the great work!
this vid, combined with the comments section, are exactly what learners suffering from anxiety need. i never knew there were so many of us :) you hit the nail on the head with your advice to identify what's making us anxious and accept it will be there until you get more practice in. i've been learning for 8 months (with a 4 month gap during lockdown) and used to get really anxious doing right turns at junctions, pulling away at traffic lights, and when people drove really close up behind me. my instructor helped me by discussing why i felt nervy in these situations, then we went to less busy roads to practice specific skills to use, and then went back to redo the same situation again. for example, pulling away at traffic lights. problem - pulling away to fast, stalling, or taking too long to pull away. my reason for this was i didn't want to cause problems for other drivers by being slow, so i would get anxious, then stall or move off too fast because i wasn't focusing on my routine, or rushing. reason - lack of confidence in my clutch control and ability to pull away smoothly and calmly, plus getting stage fright when the lights changed because i felt pressured by myself to be as good as the other drivers. solution - accept that i'm going to be slower than everyone else, and that's ok. practice clutch control in a safe place, balancing the car, moving off, etc.. til i felt more confident in my ability, then get back to less busy junctions where we could practice rights, then go back and do it at the junction where the problem originally occurred. result - everything went like a charm :) like the advice in the vid, it's about building up your confidence, working on the skills you need in a gentler environment, practising it on less busy roads, then confront your problem head on in the original situation again. you'll find that it's a lot less stressful, and then over time it'll fade into the background. now i'm happy doing 70 on a dual carriageway, roundabouts and junctions are enjoyable, and i'm smooth as silk moving off at traffic lights lol there will be other problems in the future that will be challenging. i'm dealing with meeting cars in busy streets in my lessons at the moment, and i got nervous a couple of times, but if you use this approach you'll get there fine. obviously everyone is different, and you need a good instructor who will do this. different problems need a variety of solutions, but this vid's message is the best i've seen online. identify the reason for your anxiety. talk with your instructor about it. practice til you feel confident. face your fear, and keep driving :)
As a learner, your comment just gave me the biggest hug. I have this exact problem and exact fear that caused me to rush, cut out, get extra nervous and do a really risky manoeuvre. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm still scared and learning but I will get better ❤️
Fantastic advice here Richard. You are genius with your video teaching covering everything we learners need to know Thank you for involving other nervous learners to put down their experiences I'm here to try to get help and encouragement from others to try to overcome my driving anxiety. Thank you so much for everyone's support. My test is coming soon in October 2023. I hope my nervousness will cope on the day. ❤❤
How I wish you were my instructor, so encouraging and giving confidence to go ahead. I’m 47 years old and have no experience in driving absolutely but always wanted to learn to drive. With lot of push from my husband and son decided to take up driving classes. But quit after my fifth class when my driving instructor said that I couldn’t even follow simple instructions and kept doing the same mistakes. I was in tears and felt hopeless and felt I’m not fit for anything. After watching your video I’m getting back my confidence and try to take little steps slowly , practice more with my husband. Thank you so much.
I recently passed my test and one thing that made me a lot less anxious while driving is me noticing other drivers making the same mistakes I did/do. People stalling, not indicating, nearly causing accidents, unable to parallel park in one motion or even struggling to park altogether, this has made me a lot less anxious in general when driving now.
For some reason, ever since I started learning, I completely forgot other people can be worse drivers than even I am, and have difficulty with things I find trivial, like parking. Thanks for pointing the obvious out, it actually helped for once 😅
This person is talking straight facts. I've got a driving instructor that's shouting at me for minor mistakes and it's causing me anxiety. I'm only 2 lessons in! I've ditched him thankfully!
When I learned, making mistakes caused me anxiety because I dwelled on them. Don’t do this, as it’s par for the course to make errors. What helped me in the end was to focus on not making that error again. Ask your instructor what you could do better, and think about what you could do to avoid the error next time. In other words, embrace your mistakes and learn from them. As Richard said, most people won’t mind you being a little slow. Always take your time and proceed smoothly. Rushing and stressing will lead to stalls and other errors, and it’s these that will eventually cause annoyance. As your confidence grows, look to make progress and one day you’ll find that you’re no longer the one holding everyone up!
That is my problem, I had my first driving lesson a few days ago, and I stalled twice and almost caused an accident. My instructor was very calm with me about it, and was saying that considering it’s my first lesson I’ve done amazing. But I’m a perfectionist, and I feel like I made the worst mistakes. I’ve worried about it so much, that I feel so sick thinking about my next driving lesson in 25 minutes. It’s the worst.
this is so me! Thank you for the comment, I need to start to apply this approach and attitude. I have to realize I am still a "toddler", not a grown-up when it comes to driving :)
As a learner I found myself stressed out when I try to rush things and move off as quickly as I can just because the car beside me is ahead of me, but my brother advised me to take my time and stay calm which has helped me become more comfortable moving off at my pace and not hold anyone back while doing it! Also the more I am on the road the more confident I feel in my self. I think it’s about dealing with the pressure rather than trying to learn everything from the start! Just take it step by step, it’s like riding a bike after a while it gets stuck in your mind 🙌 great advice
My driving instructor told me don't worry about other drivers they can look after themselves. You've just got to focus on what your doing. I know it's easier for me to tell you then actually doing it.
I nearly quit my driving lessons a few weeks ago due to anxiety. My instructor even suggested cancelling my test because I couldn't gain control of my nerves and therefore also couldn't gain control of the car. As soon as I learned to calm down and not be so anxious, my driving improved incredibly, and I've been passing mock tests since. I honestly thought I was a terrible driver and would never ever drive, but it just turns out I'm a very scared driver. There is a massive difference. I've been doing a lot better since realizing this and trying different things to help myself feel more confident. My test is in two weeks, wish me luck haha!
I was very anxious everytime i drive and even made lots of mistake on our practice before my test, during my test i was breathing hard and calming myself and just focusing to be safe, and i ended up passing my test with 4 faults. And now im still very anxious and havent driven alone even though i can but i feel not ready.
This is a great video. I wish more instructors understood this. I had my first lesson at 17, then put it off for 15 years because I had some really bad experiences learning. It didn't help that I had a couple of instructors who didn't understand why I was anxious. One told me "just stop making mistakes" which was so unhelpful, because if it was easy then I wouldn't have needed a driving instructor!!! In the end, I decided to get my wife to teach me last year. She understood I was anxious and that my anxiety came from fear of making mistakes. The difficult driving environment round where I live (lots of fast roads, heavy traffic, difficult junctions) and the bad instructors I'd had made me feel like any mistake I made was irredeemable. She helped build my confidence and encouraged me when I made progress. I passed my test last week with 4 minors, and I am still buzzing. Turns out it was a lot easier than I had prepared myself for, and whilst I'm still learning, I am being less hard on myself now because I know I can do it. For everyone out there who hates going out driving, dreads every lesson, and wishes the advent of self driving cars was a bit closer... take your time, don't be hard on yourself and look for another instructor/family member to teach you if you don't feel like you're getting anywhere. It will come and you will pass.
Practice in a car park will help alot when learning . I found it was alot more easier to get mistakes out the way . After a while do short journeys on the road and then gradually just go longer distance. Pick a road that looks difficult for example parked cars and narrow road to get used to how the car handles and to get more confidence. Its helped me alot especially learning the basics . Hope this helps
Thank you for the great advice. I learned to drive when I was 59 so being older I was particularly anxious. My biggest fear was roundabouts. Not only was I scared entering them but once on I would panic about where to go to exit. One lesson I almost went down a slip road with cars coming the other way! The way I got over this was to look at all the roundabouts for the city I live in on Google Earth. That way I soon got confident about what exits were needed and the correct lane to be in. Have now passed my test and getting on fine.
I've just recently passed and found myself very anxious to keep practicing, hills and busy roundabouts really give me anxiety and it's hard to build up the confidence on busier roads without just going out and doing it. Getting the hang of pulling away in my new van is taking me a while and has knocked my confidence but I know the more I practice on quieter roads the better I'll get, just have to make myself keep trying.
I passed thanks god, it took me 2.5 years. I remember watching these videos to calm me down and it worked sometimes. Anyways just keep trying and eventually you can drive
I’ve really struggle with anxiety recently during my driving lessons, having only had 13, I returned on my 10th lesson from a 6 month break during this coronavirus, I sweat profusely and struggle to be calm, I explained it as ; “it’s like I’m holding a penny in my butthole for two hours” - Me. That’s how I described my lessons to my partner anyway, I think this comes from intense pressure to succeed having not achieved much, having a daughter on the way and having nobody have any belief in myself, but after watching this video it honestly helped, I had my first driving lesson today where I didn’t sweat PROFUSELY I just ‘sweated’. I just wanted you to know your videos really do make a difference, the timing of you dropping the video couldn’t have been more perfect either, the thing is my instructor is more than happy with my progress, I passed my theory first time, and have only done 22 hours driving upto now, baring the split. To summarise I just want to say your teaching methods, explanation and enthusiasm, really are second to none, please continue doing what you do, and being how you are, take care buddy.
This is a video I definitely needed to watch! I get nervous as I am thinking "Oh the cars behind me, waiting for me to drive, I am taking too long and they are going to get annoyed". And I always ponder about this particular situation, but I have gotten better, and not just that, but I have learnt so much from all your videos that I have been watching the past 2 months! Thank you! Keep up the great content!
I've taken 3 lessons so far and part of what annoys me and makes me more nervous and anxious is when the instructor nitpick every single mistake, so I feel like I'm being judged and it's not helping
I feel the same. I feel like I have to be a robot behind the wheel or I 'fail'. It doesn't help when you see other drivers making mistakes whereas in the driving test you are meant to drive with top notch precision.
I also recommend making sure you're really comfortable with your driving instructor. I had an experience on a 4 day intensive course (not Conquer Driving who I feel would never treat a paying customer like I experienced) where, from the first day the instructor would almost shout in my ear when I made mistakes. Not surprising I made mistakes it being my first day, but to shout like an Army Sergeant at me whilst trying to understand what to do, yelling "you'll end up with a bill for a new gear box if you do that again" or telling me "it's my name on this car - not yours" when I stalled accidentally in a traffic queue, or another was "don't drive over that gravel again, if a nail gets stuck in my tyres, you'll end up with a bill for replacements, it's in my terms and conditions". When we took breaks the instructor was very pleasant, but changed quickly when I got behind the wheel. I stuck the 4 days out, and never responded to the balling I had to endure in my ears, but was so glad when the last day finished. I did learn things and progressed, against all the odds, but it wasn't worth the stress I endured. I'm an anxious driver anyway, but any progress I made was despite my instructor's unpleasant behaviour.
Great video, im in the same boat one small mistake , gets me really nervous see the anger on my driving instructor then it leads to more mistakes and total disater of a driving lesson. Then im so happy when the driving lesson has finished . but always nervous thining about my next lesson
Another excellent video, really important one too. I’m in the position where it’s taking me much longer than I would like and it’s due to anxiety & lack of confidence and fear of failure. In the past I had a very experienced instructor that yelled at me for 20 mins during a lesson which set me back further, I now have an excellent instructor who gives me appropriate feedback & encouragement and has helped me build my confidence. If anyone is reading this or watching this video - you will get there and you will learn to love your driving lessons
My driving anxiety starts when I go in an area i never drove, especially when i go somewhere and i have no idea the road ahead, right? left? wtf will be ahead , will i have a parking spot etc etc
I’m from Australia. I got lost this morning for 2 hours to get home. I just got the license 1 month ago and never driven to the city before which is really crazy traffic and lanes. My GPS is mad too. I couldn’t find any exit because I was on the highway for at least 80km/h. I kept driving straight until I found somewhere that I could park and restart my GPS. My Dad’s advice is driving water when you feel stressed and lost your mind and tried deep breath. Luckily, I was safe at home now. We just think about that everyone can do it. Why not me? Next time, you will be more confident and calm. All the best and drive safely!
Same! I actually thought that I hate driving in general. Then I realized it's just that the driving lessons are always in some unfamiliar place and that even people with more driving experience can get nervous if they have to drive in new places. So obviously it's even more nerve wrecking for a learner.
It took three attempts, half a year, lots of crying, lots of stressing, lots of self-doubt and beating myself up again and again, but I passed today! And your videos and your kind teaching style were detriment in blocking out the negativity and learning to be patient. Every specific little problem I had - from observation skills, through steering and horrible driving anxiety you had a video for it, where you explained everything so clearly! I hope you know what amazing work you do! Thousand times thank you!!!! ❤
Rightly said,"Setting a realistic and achievable goal,is the key to success and confidence. Learning something new requires one being out of their comfort zone.I am thankful to my driving instructior for tailoring my lessons in such a way that learning something new was realistic and enjoyable for me at the same time.Difficult topics were gradually introduced.Right approach and attitude enables the rapid learning process. I would like to share that ever since I started my driving journey,I had kept a journal where I would pen down my mistakes and set up reminders to rectify them.Keeping a journal is a stress buster in itself.It has helped me immensity in calming down my nerves and anxiety. Like always your videos and presentation are logical and realistic.Thank you.
Ah loved your vidoe! I have just started learning driving and these things you said were the causes to make me anxious ! Actually my mentor is a bit short tempered but i remind myself that making mistakes allow me to learn! Thanks for your video :)
Thank you for your comment before. You helped me through my driving anxiety by answering my comment. You are a wonderful teacher. I used to has anxiety and shivering during driving . You’ve changed my thoughts and making me driving now calmly and smoother . It’s really changed my life . I thought driving was not for me. I am trying to finish all of your other videos , hopefully I will get my driving license one day.
I was on the verge of quitting driving because of my anxiety. My instructor didn't help, she would tell me off in such a rude manner. At times she calls me (man oh what are you doing!!. Omg you had a safe gap why didn't you just go! Etc) I wish there were more instructors like yourself with patience it would definitely help us learner drivers!
Anxiety does the craziest things to me, it can make you literally mess up in areas or situations that you know so well and are so easy, or it does me. I know what to do at a situation, get a little anxiety and do the complete opposite because I focus so hard on staying not nervous rather than what I am actually doing with the driving lol. This video was good.
I just started driving a manual a little over a month ago, and this has been the BIGGEST problem for me. Your videos have helped SO MUCH, thank you for making these.
Just completed my driving test and I surprised myself and passed on the first attempt. I thought I committed a major mistake in the first 5 minutes, and continued the remaining thinking I have already failed. At the end I was told I passed and the examiner mentioned he considered it his mistake to mention 'Start' instead of park in the beginning due to which I made the unexpected emergency break. It was a german test and the examiner understood my anxiety because it wasn't my native language. Saw quite a few videos of Conquer driving in the last two days. Wholeheartedly thank you for the top notch and mindful content, it heavily contributed me passing
Very accurate video. All the points which you talked about in this video were actually lacking in my training. My instructors never bothered about my anxiety, just shrugging it off as a stupid excuse. So now this is going to be my 4th attempt to learn to drive. It's very difficult to start again from zero everytime. But hopefully I'll be able to find a better teacher this time. 😊
Thank you for your videos. To hold people up is one of them, but the biggest is the fear of being the cause of an accident. As a passenger I was in two so far and I will be driving with two of my kids in the car. The fear of hurting them makes me very anxious, fearful and its exactly like that. When fear sets in, I am failing to hear my instructor.
My instructor never let me go beyond second gear and use only brake and clutch. At that time I was bored doing the same things over and over and going so slow. Now I realise that was the best thing and I can easily drive fast and in any gear once I learned driving slow with control
You are an absolutely amazing instructor.... I'm from south Africa and I've been going for lessons... when i started i struggled with clutch control and waisted so much time and the truck kept on stalling... untill i found your channel.. you explain everything so well and you make me less nervous for my lessons... Thank you so much.
Just wanted to say a big big thank you for all your videos. I am a very anxious person, which makes driving even more difficult for me. Your videos have really helped build my confidence. You’re a gem Richard!
Was waiting for a video on this topic. I passed my test a long time ago, 10 years and counting. Before coming to the UK, and even then I haven't driven in nearly the entire time I had my license for. For one simple reason. My instructors (a father&son run "business" out of one of my highschool classrooms) were outright terrible. It's been a long time but try as I might, I can't think of a single good thing to say about those two. Apart from I never hit anybody or anything, but that's as basic as it can get. I never gained an ounce of cofidence during my lessons. Only thing I learned was to carry on driving while being yelled at and called names. But they were cheap, and growing up in eastern Europe, generally the whole family has to come togheter to pay for driving school. So I felt obligated to finish and pass despite every single driving lesson being a terrible ordeal. Well, time goes on, 28 hours (14x 2 hour lessons) my test comes around, I pass, and then comes the realisation that I couldn't care less. Because my experience learning to drive was horrible start to finish, by the time I even made it to my test I H A T E D driving. I drove around with my parents a few times but I never stopped feeling anxious, never enjoyed it. So eventually I just gave up on it altogheter, and haven't given it a second thought until about a month ago. Work commitments made me get a car, and I'm having a refresher lesson with a local driving school to hopefully work off some of the rust. Your videos have been a tremendous help Richard. If the situation wasn't what it is right now, I'd make the trip to Colchester for a lesson with you.
Thank you for your story. It gives somebody like me, who also passed but held back due to anxiety some form of inspiration. Also yes the experience of some terrible instructors created this anxiety This motivates me to pick up driving again and especially for my kid.
@@Nayaana86.. Best of luck to ya mate. It's not easy but you can get there. Just make very sure you have a good instructor this time around. That made all the difference for me.
@@jakubgrac4322 Thank you so much. Yes, I'm on the lookout for a good instructor but I have managed to build up some confidence thanks to experienced drivers in the family sitting with me. Best of luck to you too
I've been doing a lot better on normal roads but when I get to junctions or roundabouts I basically have a panic attack behind the wheel. Thanks for this vid and practice will make perfect
Whenever i feel nervous my left lag shakes for no reason nd am worried about my clutch nd am not new driver btw thanks mate you are one of the best instructor on yt
One of the main anxieties I had whilst learning to drive was holding up other road users or feeling like I was being watched by others. A word of advice to anyone learning to drive. Be fully of aware of other road users, but don't be afraid what they may or may not be thinking about your driving, you're still learning and they were probably once in the same situation. I can also bet that a lot of these users aren't even thinking about your skills and are trying to focus on the road much as you are. Hopefully this helps anyone who may be feeling anxious during there lessons, once I thought of it this way it helped massively with my confidence and I passed first time with zero minors...
Im going by the metric as long as my driving is safe and legal, outside of that it really doesn't matter what any other road user thinks. That really helped my own anxiety, especially after seeing and learning you literally cant please everyone. That bmw will always race past you, fly over roundabout and nearly tbone another car etc. Nothing will please someone like that because they are all aggression and no brain.
Richard, you're just the best. I've been driving now for almost 20 years and still have a slight phobia about going up hill from stop position and I get very nervous and my knee starts shaking, I do over-come it but it just does not go away
Thank you for this it helps be a bit calmer had my 2nd lesson today had a difficult time at the course but a fair bit better on the actual road due to focus and staying calm. But driving on the schools course made me nervous. Although the instructor is a bit frustrated but thankfully did not yell but corrected and explained what I did wrong.
Coming from driving for 13 years an automatic car to driving a manual one is like starting all over in my case. Even though I used to drive a maual car for 20 years before that. These videos are so helpful! Keep up the good work and thank you for covering the art of driving into so much detail!
Thank you for this video. I passed in December of 2019 but wasn't able to practice much at all last year. I was a very anxious learner and I had over 90 lessons before I passed. I had just reached the comfortable stage when I did my second test and then I had to have a year off so I'm really trying to get comfortable again in my own car. Yesterday I stalled turning right at the lights and missed three separate sets of green lights and it was making me really panicky that I couldn't get it and people were beeping and switching lanes to avoid me. I think this video has helped me realise that I need to practice basics more on clutch control with accelerator because if I'm struggling with it then it's too difficult. I really hope I can get back to that comfortable non anxious feeling again. Thank you.
If you've been there before you will get there again. Make sure you don't bite off more than you can chew as it will set you back, take things slowly. Also, it doesn't matter hope good you get at driving there will always be someone who has a go at you, people have a go at me sometimes. Unfortunately they car is a place many let off steam as they feel safe in their car.
I've been teaching my son to drive as we've been unable to find an instructor thats free, he is incredibly nervous and was always putting his driving down, saying he was never going to feel confident enough to drive. Without realising it, I've been doing the two step and three step methods to ensure he slows down and plans adequately for every situation, thats roundabouts, junctions, traffic lights and changing speeds as it really helps his nerves. We also have a discussion about his level of anxiety from a 1 to 10, at its worst he would almost get a panic attack that he would need to be talked down from. However, now we are driving in Worcester City and currently doing all the test routes and his anxiety rarely gets any worse than 5 and in most cases is between 1 and 3, so I always make a point to re-inforce that in fact he is much less nervous without even realising it. I wanted to thank you for these videos, they are especially helpful in our situation as we cant get the help of an instructor.
You are right about holding people. I was about to take a left(we give priority to oncoming cars when turning left) and my instructor was shouting at me for being slow and holding the following cars. I panicked and overlooked an oncoming car. I was quick enough to break but the experience left me very shaken.
I get anxious when I drive and pray to God whenever I drive. I had driven for 2 years until I hit a car in a carpark (it's my colleague's car and luckily, she wasn't in the car...of course, I paid for the damage). Since then I give myself lots of excuses and stop driving for over 6 years now...In my mind, I don't see the need to drive again and enjoy myself being a passenger. But in 2022, I suddenly realise that I should pick up driving as a way to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. Your video encourages me a lot because you make me realise that it's okay to feel anxious. All I need is to take my time to learn, to have more positive self-talk and arouse my interest in driving until I become a confident driver one day. It’s very hard to find someone likes you who understand how I feel. Your videos mean so much to me and help me to regain my confidence in driving. Hope you can keep posting videos so I can keep learning! Thank you!
I just want you to let you know that I drove for 30 mins around the suburb where I lived today!!! I had butterflies in my stomach before I did it. Hubby said I did well but when I turned left, I was a bit close to the curb and when I parked my car, my car was a bit far from the curb...so I need to practise more. Anyway, I felt so good for driving again and very thankful to you!
The best part about those people who bully and in-particular who tailgate, is the fact they stay so close to you the whole way, then overtake after sometime only for you then to pass them waiting at a red light somewhere - people just need to learn tailgating doesn't have the effects they want.
I’m very anxious now after I’ve changed 2 instructors in 6 months First I’ve done 30 hours and didn’t learn anything just made me feel guilty that I’m not learning quick and I will never be ready for next level and second one I’ve aid £40 per hour and told me to watch RUclips videos that will make me a better student while I’m on the road with him and told him that I’m working 12 hours Monday to friday and sometimes don’t have time but we just didn’t work together anymore ! Now I have my test booked in 2 months and don’t have any instructor fingers crossed will find a instructor this week !all the best to all and be safe
Since everyone is sharing their anxiety experience, I'm gonna share mine. From the start, I already felt the pressure to learn to drive and to learn quickly. We bought a car on sale but no one knows how to drive it. So I need to learn quickly and pass my driving test so that we can finally drive the car. I thought at first that it was going to be easy since everyone else seems to be doing it. But boy was I dead wrong. I failed in my driving school test because I forgot how to do reverse parking and would sometimes oversteer. It took a month of weekly practices with a friend before I finally got a hang of things and was able to finally pass. I thought that finally getting a license is a seal of approval that means that I can drive. Again, I was wrong. Within the first 3 months, my car got into four collisions, with the last one costing me a great deal of money. I couldn't properly estimate the width of my car and have even hit the curb in a few occassions. There were also a lot of things that I didn't know how to respond since they were not taught to me like how to deal with foggy windshields and wing mirrors on rainy days and that car batteries get discharged if you dont use the car for a week. All these bad experiences just made my anxiety worse to the point that it turned into a phobia. But someone still had to drive the car when we needed to go somewhere. So now, I really pray a lot before going for a drive in order to calm my fears and allow me to focus on the drive. I really cant say that I've conquered my driving anxiety now. I still try to avoid driving if I can and would always commute long distances rather than drive my car. Hopefully, the day will come where I could finally stop being afraid of it.
I'm sorry to hear that. A lot of what you say is fairly common. Most new drivers can't judge the width of their car, even most experienced drivers can't down to the last few centimeters. Most my pupils go to hit stuff, but I stop them by braking or taking the wheel. The key is to stop if you're not sure, listen to your judgement, don't second guess it. If it looks tight, don't try it. Sounds to me like some good teaching may help you. Car batteries only discharge after a week if they need replacing, a good battery should give you 3 months easy, usually it's a 20% discharge per month for a lead acid car battery. Car batteries usually last 3-6 years in my experience. As for dealing with icy windows these two videos may help: ruclips.net/video/KtBZ-TItVeA/видео.html ruclips.net/video/ZSlxNpo8j0w/видео.html Having working air-condition helps a lot. This video may help you with judgement: ruclips.net/video/tIo8Cv7lY0c/видео.html
@@ConquerDriving Holy smokes. You do reply on every post. Thanks for this. I actually watched your videos on width judgment and on how to stay centered. But I'm still not confident with my judgment so I end up braking or slowing down every now and then when going through narrow roads. I wish I could avoid these roads but they're the only way to and from our house. So i bought these two antenna like objects that I can stick to the corner of my car near the headlights so I can see from the front where the corners are. My car might look funny as a result and other drivers might laugh at me for doing that, but at least I will be a safer driver on the road.
I learned to drive in 2010 but since I have been watching your video my driving has improved a lot for which I am thankful to you. I am an electrical engineer by profession , I plan to go to the UAE next year for job. I hope that if I ever have the opportunity to go to the UK in my life, I would like to meet you. You are one of the best and honest instructor i really appreciate your work for us. Always be happy !
I've been watching your videos for a little over a year. I've been driving automatics here in the States since the beginning but been always curious about driving manuals. I've driven them a little when renting cars in France but in the end, the hills got the best of me and had to pay more money for automatics - ouch! To make a long story short, less than a week ago I purchased a new Mustang and it's a manual (I specifically sought it out). Everything you discussed in your videos I've applied. In the end, I still have to learn my car and most importantly, disregard those around me on the road. I live in NY where it's the traffic mecca of the world but I had to push aside the anxiety and move forward (pun intended) with confidence. Just want to say thank you for the videos, for teaching an old bloke new tricks. You're very CLEAR, to the point, and super well informed and it shows in all of your videos. Keep up the great work! Cheers!
You are a fantastic instructor. If only all instructors were like you. I am so grateful for these videos. I am still so anxious about driving on the motorway.
When I was 14 I was in a high speed crash (as a passenger) which still effects me today and have been putting off driving, however recently given it a go to start driving lessons. Your videos have given me a lot of confidence I have a very long way to go hopefully one day I’ll get there. Taking small steps to boost my confidence your channel is part of my recovery I can’t thank you enough
You nailed it during your intro when you said "why am i bothering to do this" i dont know why i am anxious and scared of the world so theres nothing i can do to manage it. Good video tho thanks for trying
I got my license in 2015. I own an automatic car and I can drive it well. But the minute I get into a manual car I get so anxious. I'm still struggling with gears and I don't know what to do going uphill and when the road is busy. I'm also struggling with clutch control. Your videos are really helping me. Keep up the good work
Been practicing with my Dad and haven’t had any professional lessons, I get really anxious before lessons and if I’m not feeling up to it that day I don’t go out. My left leg shakes a lot after a lesson and it takes me a while to relax after a lesson. I hope having a professional teacher will make me mor relaxed in the car and we will do things that make me more confident. I want to be able to drive and I’ll do it someday!
Hey. I've got the same problem too. The left leg shaking because of the nerves while driving with my dad. I also go to a local driving school but my dad does makes me drive for additional practice on weekends. I know it's been a year since you posted this comment and I hope you are doing well
not your dad nor a relative because they might pass you their anxiety...and believe me you receive this anxiety much more from People you know.. its a cruel thing....I got my driver's license and now the real thing starts....I may get some more lessons because my instructor was not explaining things and not letting me to make decisions which affected me
The important thing to remember about fear or anxiety is that it is a survival mechanism. What does fear do? It raises our awareness. As our ancestors might have done, treading carefully through the jungle being alert was the best mindset for survival when looking out for any predators that might be around you. Fear is (unfortunately) necessary and it's the first step to making you conscientious. That's really the first test of being a good driver (IMO). But too much fear will cripple you and have the opposite effect of making you less aware of your surroundings, it will make you imagine things and think up all kinds of possibilities which will distract you from the task at hand, which is to calmly observe what is going on around you on the road and respond in the appropriate manner (or it might put you off driving altogether, which isn't logical, statistically speaking in terms of safety). I remember the sensation of fear when I first started learning to drive (2002). In one of my first few lessons, the idea suddenly entered my head that I was sitting in this 1.5 ton metal box on wheels in which I had complete control over, which could squish a person flat and kill me too if I was really stupid. But then later I calmed down and realised that if all these people on the roads had learned to do it, then it wasn't beyond reason that I could learn to do it as well. The other thing I would say about going slowly if anyone's worried about it is when was the last time you saw a pile up outside Tesco's from a bunch of cars doing 5mph? It just doesn't happen. The real danger (so I heard) is within the first couple of years of passing your test when you're most likely to have an accident. Because after you've passed your test you gain more experience, you then get more confident, go faster and THAT'S where the danger comes in (going faster than you are able to react). When I learned this, I drove around for the first two years in a little anxiety. But an accident never happened and I've always tried to keep my head ever since, and thankfully I haven't had an accident or even a scratch.
@@TheOpus480 it’s been 9 months after I commented this and luckily it’s gotten much better! I still have my moments but after a few deep breaths I’ve gotten it. In fact I passed my test this week! You’ll get better with time too so don’t stress x
Listening to your advice on how to tackle anxiety was amazing, this session was very helpful for me cause I can't hear anything what co- passenger talking, sweating, only focusing on road. Driving instructor with psychological touch to it was brilliant. Keep up the good work.
I like my instructor but I feel he wants me to able to drive after just 16 hours,, I just can't and I shouldn't feel bad for being slow in learning so thank you for all of these videos
@@porcelainheartxo little update since you replied, took it slower and was able to drive properly after 24ish hours. Passed my test but still a bit anxious on the road itself, you can take your time you'll be fine just like me.
@@ratratratratratratratratra8808 thank you for replying I’ve done about 16 hours so far and just am being so hard on myself cause I’m not perfect and I feel I’m so slow at learning it’s nice to know you passed though I just wanna quit and give up tbh when I make a fault it makes me want to stop feel like my driving instructor wants me to be the best and I feel like I can’t keep up
Needed this today because I came from my lesson feeling anxious and defeated. I have been through one instructor before and he was not patient nor good at explaining. My current instructor is better but he will have moments of being ticked off by me making a mistake he didn't think i should make.
Your instructor may not realise that showing a lack of patience will reduce your confidence. Maybe you should tell them how you feel. Keep trying though, we are our own best teachers.
I have finally passed my driving test! Thanks so much for all your videos. They are so helpful clear and they cover most of the topics that I needed. Highly recommended 😊
Thanks a lot, your videos taught me in few minutes what my instructor could not teach in 5 months, Finally passed or better say overcame failure in third attempt after watching your videos.
Mate this was such a great video, thank you. On my last lesson, I panicked when someone cut across me and my instructor had to beep the horn as the other driver nearly caused an accident. From then on I was a bundle of nerves, rolled back, stalled and later on mixed up my exits at a roundabout three times. I just couldn't calm back down- my leg was shaking, I was gripping the wheel.. it was a nightmare. Going to write down my anxieties tonight and get ready for a nice calm lesson tomorrow.
My Anxiety happens when am in bussy roads like 4 way stopRobots,it makes me loose my confidence cz it's like I might hit someone's car or someone might bump on me 🤦🤦but then I always try to Calm down and boost my confidence @ quiet roads and on what am good at as you always advise us to do that thank you so much Sir💖 God bless
Great video, I am an older driver, I failed 2 tests 10 years ago and have returned for another bite at the cherry. I suffer with nerves, but they are more "what might happen, not what is happening". My instructor great and very patient indeed. (My last instructor used to shout or raise his voice a lot which made me worse) Keep up the videos, they are really good and help PS: looking at Collingwood via the link :) thanks for that
Acceptance of the learning curve minimising anxiety for me. Enjoying the good things I do like a nice corner or noticing a hazard early on helps build confidence and effective muscle memory.
I wanted to thank you for doing all these amazing videos. Driving is becoming more pleasurable. I was trying to find out why my brain is protecting me so much by giving a lot of anxiety. Turned out, it was the lost control, i was afraid of. I am fixing it now, hopefully will do better soon.
I passed my driving test last Thursday and I’m here to get some reassurance. My inexperience makes me a bit nervous. Thank you for all the helpful videos.
@@reddyv1259 i have mine in 2 days as well but best of luck i just keep forgetting to check my mirrors mainly and switching lanes bugs me but ill give an update when its all over
You're honestly a life saver. Throughout this whole process I've had severe anxiety, shakes, gripping the wheel too tight, heart palpitations and not hearing my instructor. Earlier in the year I got a good instrutor that really helped, but unfortunately they can no longer teach and it's the anxiety has gotten worse and worse since. Had my test yesterday and it totally got the better of me :(
It's just like learning to play a musical instrument, you've got to practice, practice, practice. You know what I did after I passed my test, I would go out for drives late at night (around 10pm). I'd have Waze set to take me home and just leave it quietly in the background so when I decided I had enough I just followed the instructions home. That was a kind of 'safety' line for me. But those late night sessions allowed me to take my time about everything because it was less busy on the roads. Try it if you have time, you won't believe how much progress you can make in a month :0)
Yeah I get you but don’t worry take it slow you probably won’t hit something sometimes I think that when I’m going past parked cars and other cars on the other side of me but I never have and the other cars will move to help give you space too. Also my instructor said if you hold someone up don’t worry take your time they’re just gonna have to wait what can you do. Like with parallel parking a car came behind me and she said just take your time to get in the spot that’s what you have to do or you’ll end up being further from the curb etc just take your time they’ll have to wait it’s not illegal lol even if they’re beeping ignore it and do what you have to do then they can go after
Now that I'm a learner I noticed there's 3 things that makes me nervous when driving. 1. The taxis. They're reckless and unpredictable. Can easily cause an accident to other road users if your not careful. 2. Holding up traffic if I stall at a stop or a light. 3. Cars coming from the side, more specifically from my right side. But that I picked up is due to the accident I was in years ago and pretty suprised that it's now affecting my driving. I'm working on driving a bit faster because I'm super careful when driving on a busier road. So I'll use these tips!
I’m having severe anxiety about driving in dual carriage ways. Other than that I got better in my driving. Hope dual carriage way will not come to my exam. Thank you all for your videos Richard.
How I wish you can come to South Africa to help me😩 I'm honestly struggling and watching your videos always make me feel better. I just realised that I have anxiety and my driving instructor is making me more anxious with constantly comparing me to other learners🤦🏽♀️ I know you posted this 2 years ago, but I just wanted to say thank you for the videos again, they truly are helping me❤
It’s three years since I had my first lesson and coming up to two years since I passed my practical test. I put off learning to drive for over 25 years out of fear. My driving instructor used to say that no-one was born with a steering wheel in their hands.
To everyone reading this who’s anxious - if I can do it, so can you! Keep learning, keep practicing. It does get easier, much easier. All of the things that you might be stressing about, for example, finding the biting point or roundabouts, I was the same. Now I don’t even consciously think about them, it’s as easy as walking. You can do it!
Thanks for your advice
Thanks! I have my second lesson tomorrow. I get so anxious, especially with having to wear a mask at the moment
Yes I agree with you have written - definately not straight forward than it sounds to overcome fear of driving.
Be cautious and get help from others. I searched round a few sites and discovered a lot of great advice by searching google on websites like Roys Quick Fix. Good luck and hope you succeed!
Thanks for that. Sometimes I feel like my driving instructors are more concerned with getting through their programme than actually finding solutions. One of them said to me the other day, “ I don’t get why you’re not getting this.” 🤦🏽♂️
Thanks, Sir. Much appreciated!
I'm afraid of crashing and damaging property/hurting someone and it being my fault.
The risk is there, true, rational. The risk is very small but worrying about it will increase the risk. You have to accept a small amount of risk when using a car and try and enjoy what it brings to you.
This video is going to help me .. I have completed my 28 lessons still struggling and often confused . When I gear up at 3rd gear I am always thinking that it’s going to be out of control and may be I will hurt someone. Your this video is making me think about my anxiety and my mistakes.
@@goharsadaf4941 Don't worry. I think I completed more than 50 lessons ..I started with automatic cars last year ..then my car got broken and I stopped driving for 10 months, I changed to manual car like a new learner ..I stopped counting the lessons and the money I spent for learning ..got an accident ..stopped driving for two months ..I started some lesson hahahaha funny story ..full of anxiety and I am still going 😂
This is my bigger fear ,I don't have a lot of money and not very strong to defend myself when people want to beat me up
@@pendekarlapok5731 😂😂😂
I am 41 and feel ashamed of going to driving instructors who make fun of me, I had few bad experiences when I was young while learning to drive, so I thought I can never be a good driver and quit for many years. But Now at this age and with a family I feel ashamed of depending on others for conveyance. I regret not learning to drive for so long, but recently I started learning and after few good lessons feel it’s doable and I can drive. Hope I get better at it and make my family happy.
You got this 🎉
People are so cruel how disgusting what you went through paying for it to
I think most of the anxiety comes from the way learners are treated, I honestly feel a lot more comfortable driving without L plates on.
What I hate the most is when people overtake when you are going the limit.
On the contrary people are normally more patient with L plates on if you're slow. But not everyone.
Just passed last week and driving with no l plates is so much better
@@jamesdilan3250 or when they get right up your rear when you're clearly at the speed limit.
@@jamesdilan3250 and look at you like you were doing wrong !!
I nearly quit my driving lessons entirely because I had to go through so many instructors. I thought I was the problem. Turns out I just needed the right one for me, and needed extra practice in order to feel confident in my driving. It's okay it took longer, because I got my license 5 days ago and it was worth all the doubting and fear. Thanks for your amazing videos!
Congratulations on passing and well done for keeping at it.
I literally have an instructor who behaves like a complete piece of shit with me. All he cares about is raising his voice at me trying to prove a point against me, even if I literally never respond or argue at all, i actually over-apologize but he literally thinks i don't listen to him even if I commit a small mistake.
@@64scolipede literally my instructor, but today when i was doing reverse park i stalled twice and i was really tired i went to my lesson right after work and i wasnt well focused, he yelled at me and said i would stop and go back home if i stall again so i got mad and he felt guilty becuz i started shaking and had to get out of the car to calm myself down, afterwards he started complimenting me when i did great just to make me feel better (still not feeling better i cried when i came back home, not becuz of him only but becuz my confidence went so down im not satisfied with my parking and driving in general today)
@@lenalee5516 get a new instructor, it’s not worth it
i also just pick up driving and always tremble. if only the instructors are more kind
You're a good instructor not only because you're knowledgeable, and have a sense of humour, but also understand learner's difficulties, and compassionate.
*Slows down*
Conquer driving: "It's okay."
My instructor: "God damnit, you drive like an old man."
😂
MoonBoom v2.0 😂😂😂😂😂
Hahaha true
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your instructor and every dad in the world 😂
I want this guy as my driving instructor he sounds amazing so caring to his customers
It’s true that other road users make our anxiety worse, they have no patience at all!!
Don't worry it's not you. You just have to be assured that you are doing it properly and safely.
I got pulled out dangerously 3 times in my last lesson. People are so impatient and I was going the 30 speed limit.
Passed my driving test second time with only 4 minors, I finally ‘conquered’ my driving, thanks to you Richard
This man is precious and must be protected at all costs.
I got my driving license 7 years ago and never drove after that out of fear. I kept thinking how one mistake could literally cost me my life or I could kill somebody else. I realize now that was mostly because I never felt like I have good control over the car. I've been watching your videos for a while and learned so many important things I wasn't aware of! No wonder I kept stalling the car and causing it to move in a jerky fashion. Now with my new knowledge I started driving a little with my husband and this time I'm actually excited to get behind the wheel! Still a little anxious, but not like the first time I was learning. I feel how I'm making progress and I actually enjoy driving! I don't know how to thank you enough for this and I really wish I could pay you somehow! Maybe consider giving us the option to donate to the channel? Thank you very much for the great work!
I'm very pleased to hear that thank you 😊 I may consider doing Patreon in the future.
this vid, combined with the comments section, are exactly what learners suffering from anxiety need. i never knew there were so many of us :)
you hit the nail on the head with your advice to identify what's making us anxious and accept it will be there until you get more practice in. i've been learning for 8 months (with a 4 month gap during lockdown) and used to get really anxious doing right turns at junctions, pulling away at traffic lights, and when people drove really close up behind me.
my instructor helped me by discussing why i felt nervy in these situations, then we went to less busy roads to practice specific skills to use, and then went back to redo the same situation again.
for example, pulling away at traffic lights.
problem - pulling away to fast, stalling, or taking too long to pull away. my reason for this was i didn't want to cause problems for other drivers by being slow, so i would get anxious, then stall or move off too fast because i wasn't focusing on my routine, or rushing.
reason - lack of confidence in my clutch control and ability to pull away smoothly and calmly, plus getting stage fright when the lights changed because i felt pressured by myself to be as good as the other drivers.
solution - accept that i'm going to be slower than everyone else, and that's ok. practice clutch control in a safe place, balancing the car, moving off, etc.. til i felt more confident in my ability, then get back to less busy junctions where we could practice rights, then go back and do it at the junction where the problem originally occurred.
result - everything went like a charm :) like the advice in the vid, it's about building up your confidence, working on the skills you need in a gentler environment, practising it on less busy roads, then confront your problem head on in the original situation again. you'll find that it's a lot less stressful, and then over time it'll fade into the background.
now i'm happy doing 70 on a dual carriageway, roundabouts and junctions are enjoyable, and i'm smooth as silk moving off at traffic lights lol
there will be other problems in the future that will be challenging. i'm dealing with meeting cars in busy streets in my lessons at the moment, and i got nervous a couple of times, but if you use this approach you'll get there fine.
obviously everyone is different, and you need a good instructor who will do this. different problems need a variety of solutions, but this vid's message is the best i've seen online. identify the reason for your anxiety. talk with your instructor about it. practice til you feel confident. face your fear, and keep driving :)
As a learner, your comment just gave me the biggest hug. I have this exact problem and exact fear that caused me to rush, cut out, get extra nervous and do a really risky manoeuvre. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm still scared and learning but I will get better ❤️
Fantastic advice here Richard.
You are genius with your video teaching covering everything we learners need to know
Thank you for involving other nervous learners to put down their experiences
I'm here to try to get help and encouragement from others to try to overcome my driving anxiety. Thank you so much for everyone's support. My test is coming soon in October 2023. I hope my nervousness will cope on the day. ❤❤
This is the problem I feel I can't speak with my instructor about it as he got no empathy
How I wish you were my instructor, so encouraging and giving confidence to go ahead. I’m 47 years old and have no experience in driving absolutely but always wanted to learn to drive. With lot of push from my husband and son decided to take up driving classes. But quit after my fifth class when my driving instructor said that I couldn’t even follow simple instructions and kept doing the same mistakes. I was in tears and felt hopeless and felt I’m not fit for anything.
After watching your video I’m getting back my confidence and try to take little steps slowly , practice more with my husband. Thank you so much.
I recently passed my test and one thing that made me a lot less anxious while driving is me noticing other drivers making the same mistakes I did/do. People stalling, not indicating, nearly causing accidents, unable to parallel park in one motion or even struggling to park altogether, this has made me a lot less anxious in general when driving now.
For some reason, ever since I started learning, I completely forgot other people can be worse drivers than even I am, and have difficulty with things I find trivial, like parking.
Thanks for pointing the obvious out, it actually helped for once 😅
This person is talking straight facts. I've got a driving instructor that's shouting at me for minor mistakes and it's causing me anxiety. I'm only 2 lessons in! I've ditched him thankfully!
Consider a female instructor, they have great patience.
@@krrichards77 yeah I should . Thanks for the advice.
When I learned, making mistakes caused me anxiety because I dwelled on them. Don’t do this, as it’s par for the course to make errors. What helped me in the end was to focus on not making that error again. Ask your instructor what you could do better, and think about what you could do to avoid the error next time. In other words, embrace your mistakes and learn from them.
As Richard said, most people won’t mind you being a little slow. Always take your time and proceed smoothly. Rushing and stressing will lead to stalls and other errors, and it’s these that will eventually cause annoyance. As your confidence grows, look to make progress and one day you’ll find that you’re no longer the one holding everyone up!
This would be an issue for me. I have a huge need for perfection in all I do so any little error which is inevitable would bother me.
That is my problem, I had my first driving lesson a few days ago, and I stalled twice and almost caused an accident. My instructor was very calm with me about it, and was saying that considering it’s my first lesson I’ve done amazing. But I’m a perfectionist, and I feel like I made the worst mistakes. I’ve worried about it so much, that I feel so sick thinking about my next driving lesson in 25 minutes. It’s the worst.
this is so me! Thank you for the comment, I need to start to apply this approach and attitude. I have to realize I am still a "toddler", not a grown-up when it comes to driving :)
As a learner I found myself stressed out when I try to rush things and move off as quickly as I can just because the car beside me is ahead of me, but my brother advised me to take my time and stay calm which has helped me become more comfortable moving off at my pace and not hold anyone back while doing it! Also the more I am on the road the more confident I feel in my self. I think it’s about dealing with the pressure rather than trying to learn everything from the start! Just take it step by step, it’s like riding a bike after a while it gets stuck in your mind 🙌 great advice
My driving instructor told me don't worry about other drivers they can look after themselves. You've just got to focus on what your doing. I know it's easier for me to tell you then actually doing it.
I nearly quit my driving lessons a few weeks ago due to anxiety. My instructor even suggested cancelling my test because I couldn't gain control of my nerves and therefore also couldn't gain control of the car. As soon as I learned to calm down and not be so anxious, my driving improved incredibly, and I've been passing mock tests since. I honestly thought I was a terrible driver and would never ever drive, but it just turns out I'm a very scared driver. There is a massive difference. I've been doing a lot better since realizing this and trying different things to help myself feel more confident. My test is in two weeks, wish me luck haha!
Good luck 🤞
Awww just come down dear
Just list to him
How did you learn to calm down? I am feeling like I can’t drive as I’ve been off on with learning to drive for years. :(
But HOW did you learn to calm down.
I was very anxious everytime i drive and even made lots of mistake on our practice before my test, during my test i was breathing hard and calming myself and just focusing to be safe, and i ended up passing my test with 4 faults. And now im still very anxious and havent driven alone even though i can but i feel not ready.
This is a great video. I wish more instructors understood this.
I had my first lesson at 17, then put it off for 15 years because I had some really bad experiences learning. It didn't help that I had a couple of instructors who didn't understand why I was anxious. One told me "just stop making mistakes" which was so unhelpful, because if it was easy then I wouldn't have needed a driving instructor!!! In the end, I decided to get my wife to teach me last year. She understood I was anxious and that my anxiety came from fear of making mistakes. The difficult driving environment round where I live (lots of fast roads, heavy traffic, difficult junctions) and the bad instructors I'd had made me feel like any mistake I made was irredeemable. She helped build my confidence and encouraged me when I made progress. I passed my test last week with 4 minors, and I am still buzzing. Turns out it was a lot easier than I had prepared myself for, and whilst I'm still learning, I am being less hard on myself now because I know I can do it.
For everyone out there who hates going out driving, dreads every lesson, and wishes the advent of self driving cars was a bit closer... take your time, don't be hard on yourself and look for another instructor/family member to teach you if you don't feel like you're getting anywhere. It will come and you will pass.
I'm very happy to hear you got there! Well done and wise words.
The best way is to think of what's ahead and ignore what's behind you.
Good advice, but you still need to consider what's behind when changing your speed or direction.
Practice in a car park will help alot when learning . I found it was alot more easier to get mistakes out the way . After a while do short journeys on the road and then gradually just go longer distance. Pick a road that looks difficult for example parked cars and narrow road to get used to how the car handles and to get more confidence. Its helped me alot especially learning the basics . Hope this helps
Thank you for the great advice. I learned to drive when I was 59 so being older I was particularly anxious. My biggest fear was roundabouts. Not only was I scared entering them but once on I would panic about where to go to exit. One lesson I almost went down a slip road with cars coming the other way! The way I got over this was to look at all the roundabouts for the city I live in on Google Earth. That way I soon got confident about what exits were needed and the correct lane to be in. Have now passed my test and getting on fine.
When you know the area is certainly makes things easier. I'm happy to hear you passed.
I've just recently passed and found myself very anxious to keep practicing, hills and busy roundabouts really give me anxiety and it's hard to build up the confidence on busier roads without just going out and doing it. Getting the hang of pulling away in my new van is taking me a while and has knocked my confidence but I know the more I practice on quieter roads the better I'll get, just have to make myself keep trying.
That's what you need, quiet roads, lots of practise. Try not to think about overs.
Go out late at night or when the traffic's died down and slowly build it up, if you haven't already.
I passed thanks god, it took me 2.5 years. I remember watching these videos to calm me down and it worked sometimes. Anyways just keep trying and eventually you can drive
every learner deserves a instructor like you
I’ve really struggle with anxiety recently during my driving lessons, having only had 13, I returned on my 10th lesson from a 6 month break during this coronavirus, I sweat profusely and struggle to be calm, I explained it as ; “it’s like I’m holding a penny in my butthole for two hours” - Me. That’s how I described my lessons to my partner anyway, I think this comes from intense pressure to succeed having not achieved much, having a daughter on the way and having nobody have any belief in myself, but after watching this video it honestly helped, I had my first driving lesson today where I didn’t sweat PROFUSELY I just ‘sweated’. I just wanted you to know your videos really do make a difference, the timing of you dropping the video couldn’t have been more perfect either, the thing is my instructor is more than happy with my progress, I passed my theory first time, and have only done 22 hours driving upto now, baring the split.
To summarise I just want to say your teaching methods, explanation and enthusiasm, really are second to none, please continue doing what you do, and being how you are, take care buddy.
Thank you, many others are in the same boat as you. Take your time, don't worry about the hours, focus on your car and try to enjoy it.
This is a video I definitely needed to watch! I get nervous as I am thinking "Oh the cars behind me, waiting for me to drive, I am taking too long and they are going to get annoyed". And I always ponder about this particular situation, but I have gotten better, and not just that, but I have learnt so much from all your videos that I have been watching the past 2 months!
Thank you!
Keep up the great content!
I've taken 3 lessons so far and part of what annoys me and makes me more nervous and anxious is when the instructor nitpick every single mistake, so I feel like I'm being judged and it's not helping
That can happen, perhaps tell your instructor how you feel.
I feel the same. I feel like I have to be a robot behind the wheel or I 'fail'. It doesn't help when you see other drivers making mistakes whereas in the driving test you are meant to drive with top notch precision.
Yeah that's what all of my previous instructors and my dad did!
That's so true!
I also recommend making sure you're really comfortable with your driving instructor. I had an experience on a 4 day intensive course (not Conquer Driving who I feel would never treat a paying customer like I experienced) where, from the first day the instructor would almost shout in my ear when I made mistakes. Not surprising I made mistakes it being my first day, but to shout like an Army Sergeant at me whilst trying to understand what to do, yelling "you'll end up with a bill for a new gear box if you do that again" or telling me "it's my name on this car - not yours" when I stalled accidentally in a traffic queue, or another was "don't drive over that gravel again, if a nail gets stuck in my tyres, you'll end up with a bill for replacements, it's in my terms and conditions". When we took breaks the instructor was very pleasant, but changed quickly when I got behind the wheel. I stuck the 4 days out, and never responded to the balling I had to endure in my ears, but was so glad when the last day finished. I did learn things and progressed, against all the odds, but it wasn't worth the stress I endured. I'm an anxious driver anyway, but any progress I made was despite my instructor's unpleasant behaviour.
Very good vid Rich! I'm a new driver with license and this anxiety is still something I majorly struggle with. So thank you!
Came here to say the same!
Same here...
Same here. Don’t no what to do. Always want someone to seat beside me and I’m a new driver with licence
I'm trying to learn how to drive my husband didn't support me I lost my confidence
Great video, im in the same boat one small mistake , gets me really nervous see the anger on my driving instructor then it leads to more mistakes and total disater of a driving lesson. Then im so happy when the driving lesson has finished . but always nervous thining about my next lesson
It does get easier with time and practise for most people. Make sure the roads you're using aren't too challenging for your level.
Another excellent video, really important one too. I’m in the position where it’s taking me much longer than I would like and it’s due to anxiety & lack of confidence and fear of failure. In the past I had a very experienced instructor that yelled at me for 20 mins during a lesson which set me back further, I now have an excellent instructor who gives me appropriate feedback & encouragement and has helped me build my confidence. If anyone is reading this or watching this video - you will get there and you will learn to love your driving lessons
Good advice!
My driving anxiety starts when I go in an area i never drove, especially when i go somewhere and i have no idea the road ahead, right? left? wtf will be ahead , will i have a parking spot etc etc
Use Google maps before your journey, helps alot as you have an idea beforehand of what the road layout is.
I know the feeling... It gets worse with music in the background. This video inspires me😊we will get there.
I’m from Australia. I got lost this morning for 2 hours to get home. I just got the license 1 month ago and never driven to the city before which is really crazy traffic and lanes. My GPS is mad too. I couldn’t find any exit because I was on the highway for at least 80km/h. I kept driving straight until I found somewhere that I could park and restart my GPS. My Dad’s advice is driving water when you feel stressed and lost your mind and tried deep breath. Luckily, I was safe at home now. We just think about that everyone can do it. Why not me? Next time, you will be more confident and calm. All the best and drive safely!
Same! I actually thought that I hate driving in general. Then I realized it's just that the driving lessons are always in some unfamiliar place and that even people with more driving experience can get nervous if they have to drive in new places. So obviously it's even more nerve wrecking for a learner.
I'm the same. I passed 7 years ago and my parking is still hit and miss too.
It took three attempts, half a year, lots of crying, lots of stressing, lots of self-doubt and beating myself up again and again, but I passed today! And your videos and your kind teaching style were detriment in blocking out the negativity and learning to be patient. Every specific little problem I had - from observation skills, through steering and horrible driving anxiety you had a video for it, where you explained everything so clearly! I hope you know what amazing work you do! Thousand times thank you!!!! ❤
Rightly said,"Setting a realistic and achievable goal,is the key to success and confidence. Learning something new requires one being out of their comfort zone.I am thankful to my driving instructior for tailoring my lessons in such a way that learning something new was realistic and enjoyable for me at the same time.Difficult topics were gradually introduced.Right approach and attitude enables the rapid learning process.
I would like to share that ever since I started my driving journey,I had kept a journal where I would pen down my mistakes and set up reminders to rectify them.Keeping a journal is a stress buster in itself.It has helped me immensity in calming down my nerves and anxiety.
Like always your videos and presentation are logical and realistic.Thank you.
Thank you
Mine is usually the fear of oncoming vehicles. Trust me, this video to me came at the right time as i am learning how to drive. thanks.👍
Ah loved your vidoe! I have just started learning driving and these things you said were the causes to make me anxious ! Actually my mentor is a bit short tempered but i remind myself that making mistakes allow me to learn!
Thanks for your video :)
Thank you for your comment before. You helped me through my driving anxiety by answering my comment. You are a wonderful teacher. I used to has anxiety and shivering during driving . You’ve changed my thoughts and making me driving now calmly and smoother . It’s really changed my life . I thought driving was not for me. I am trying to finish all of your other videos , hopefully I will get my driving license one day.
That's so great to hear, thank you. The pressure from others will never go away, only how you react to it and think about it can change.
I was on the verge of quitting driving because of my anxiety. My instructor didn't help, she would tell me off in such a rude manner. At times she calls me (man oh what are you doing!!. Omg you had a safe gap why didn't you just go! Etc) I wish there were more instructors like yourself with patience it would definitely help us learner drivers!
I hope you find your driving confidence soon. Keep trying at your own pace.
Anxiety does the craziest things to me, it can make you literally mess up in areas or situations that you know so well and are so easy, or it does me. I know what to do at a situation, get a little anxiety and do the complete opposite because I focus so hard on staying not nervous rather than what I am actually doing with the driving lol. This video was good.
I just started driving a manual a little over a month ago, and this has been the BIGGEST problem for me. Your videos have helped SO MUCH, thank you for making these.
You're welcome ☺
Same problem for me. How are your nerves now?
Just completed my driving test and I surprised myself and passed on the first attempt. I thought I committed a major mistake in the first 5 minutes, and continued the remaining thinking I have already failed. At the end I was told I passed and the examiner mentioned he considered it his mistake to mention 'Start' instead of park in the beginning due to which I made the unexpected emergency break. It was a german test and the examiner understood my anxiety because it wasn't my native language. Saw quite a few videos of Conquer driving in the last two days.
Wholeheartedly thank you for the top notch and mindful content, it heavily contributed me passing
Very accurate video. All the points which you talked about in this video were actually lacking in my training. My instructors never bothered about my anxiety, just shrugging it off as a stupid excuse. So now this is going to be my 4th attempt to learn to drive. It's very difficult to start again from zero everytime. But hopefully I'll be able to find a better teacher this time. 😊
Thank you for your videos. To hold people up is one of them, but the biggest is the fear of being the cause of an accident. As a passenger I was in two so far and I will be driving with two of my kids in the car. The fear of hurting them makes me very anxious, fearful and its exactly like that. When fear sets in, I am failing to hear my instructor.
My instructor never let me go beyond second gear and use only brake and clutch. At that time I was bored doing the same things over and over and going so slow. Now I realise that was the best thing and I can easily drive fast and in any gear once I learned driving slow with control
You are an absolutely amazing instructor.... I'm from south Africa and I've been going for lessons... when i started i struggled with clutch control and waisted so much time and the truck kept on stalling... untill i found your channel.. you explain everything so well and you make me less nervous for my lessons... Thank you so much.
Just wanted to say a big big thank you for all your videos. I am a very anxious person, which makes driving even more difficult for me. Your videos have really helped build my confidence. You’re a gem Richard!
I'm very happy to hear this, thank you!
Was waiting for a video on this topic. I passed my test a long time ago, 10 years and counting. Before coming to the UK, and even then I haven't driven in nearly the entire time I had my license for. For one simple reason. My instructors (a father&son run "business" out of one of my highschool classrooms) were outright terrible. It's been a long time but try as I might, I can't think of a single good thing to say about those two. Apart from I never hit anybody or anything, but that's as basic as it can get. I never gained an ounce of cofidence during my lessons. Only thing I learned was to carry on driving while being yelled at and called names. But they were cheap, and growing up in eastern Europe, generally the whole family has to come togheter to pay for driving school. So I felt obligated to finish and pass despite every single driving lesson being a terrible ordeal. Well, time goes on, 28 hours (14x 2 hour lessons) my test comes around, I pass, and then comes the realisation that I couldn't care less. Because my experience learning to drive was horrible start to finish, by the time I even made it to my test I H A T E D driving. I drove around with my parents a few times but I never stopped feeling anxious, never enjoyed it. So eventually I just gave up on it altogheter, and haven't given it a second thought until about a month ago. Work commitments made me get a car, and I'm having a refresher lesson with a local driving school to hopefully work off some of the rust.
Your videos have been a tremendous help Richard. If the situation wasn't what it is right now, I'd make the trip to Colchester for a lesson with you.
The same story here.. wonder if we had the same instructor !? 🤣
@@PAV730 hell maybe. Surname was Chrenko used to teach in topolcany where I’m originally from. That ring any bells?
Thank you for your story. It gives somebody like me, who also passed but held back due to anxiety some form of inspiration. Also yes the experience of some terrible instructors created this anxiety This motivates me to pick up driving again and especially for my kid.
@@Nayaana86.. Best of luck to ya mate. It's not easy but you can get there. Just make very sure you have a good instructor this time around. That made all the difference for me.
@@jakubgrac4322 Thank you so much. Yes, I'm on the lookout for a good instructor but I have managed to build up some confidence thanks to experienced drivers in the family sitting with me. Best of luck to you too
I've been doing a lot better on normal roads but when I get to junctions or roundabouts I basically have a panic attack behind the wheel. Thanks for this vid and practice will make perfect
This is the most validating thing I've seen in a long time. I just thought something was wrong with me.
Whenever i feel nervous my left lag shakes for no reason nd am worried about my clutch nd am not new driver btw thanks mate you are one of the best instructor on yt
Very common, it will get stable with time. I have a video on foot position that may help.
One of the main anxieties I had whilst learning to drive was holding up other road users or feeling like I was being watched by others. A word of advice to anyone learning to drive. Be fully of aware of other road users, but don't be afraid what they may or may not be thinking about your driving, you're still learning and they were probably once in the same situation. I can also bet that a lot of these users aren't even thinking about your skills and are trying to focus on the road much as you are.
Hopefully this helps anyone who may be feeling anxious during there lessons, once I thought of it this way it helped massively with my confidence and I passed first time with zero minors...
Congratulations!
Im going by the metric as long as my driving is safe and legal, outside of that it really doesn't matter what any other road user thinks.
That really helped my own anxiety, especially after seeing and learning you literally cant please everyone.
That bmw will always race past you, fly over roundabout and nearly tbone another car etc. Nothing will please someone like that because they are all aggression and no brain.
Richard, you're just the best. I've been driving now for almost 20 years and still have a slight phobia about going up hill from stop position and I get very nervous and my knee starts shaking, I do over-come it but it just does not go away
Thank you. I applaud you for continuing despite feeling anxious. Determination is something to do have.
Thank you for this it helps be a bit calmer had my 2nd lesson today had a difficult time at the course but a fair bit better on the actual road due to focus and staying calm. But driving on the schools course made me nervous. Although the instructor is a bit frustrated but thankfully did not yell but corrected and explained what I did wrong.
Coming from driving for 13 years an automatic car to driving a manual one is like starting all over in my case. Even though I used to drive a maual car for 20 years before that. These videos are so helpful! Keep up the good work and thank you for covering the art of driving into so much detail!
Just 2 minutes in and I already knew how to deal with my driving anxiety. This man is a legend.
Thank you for this video. I passed in December of 2019 but wasn't able to practice much at all last year. I was a very anxious learner and I had over 90 lessons before I passed. I had just reached the comfortable stage when I did my second test and then I had to have a year off so I'm really trying to get comfortable again in my own car. Yesterday I stalled turning right at the lights and missed three separate sets of green lights and it was making me really panicky that I couldn't get it and people were beeping and switching lanes to avoid me. I think this video has helped me realise that I need to practice basics more on clutch control with accelerator because if I'm struggling with it then it's too difficult. I really hope I can get back to that comfortable non anxious feeling again. Thank you.
If you've been there before you will get there again. Make sure you don't bite off more than you can chew as it will set you back, take things slowly. Also, it doesn't matter hope good you get at driving there will always be someone who has a go at you, people have a go at me sometimes. Unfortunately they car is a place many let off steam as they feel safe in their car.
@@ConquerDriving thank you for your support :)
I've been teaching my son to drive as we've been unable to find an instructor thats free, he is incredibly nervous and was always putting his driving down, saying he was never going to feel confident enough to drive. Without realising it, I've been doing the two step and three step methods to ensure he slows down and plans adequately for every situation, thats roundabouts, junctions, traffic lights and changing speeds as it really helps his nerves. We also have a discussion about his level of anxiety from a 1 to 10, at its worst he would almost get a panic attack that he would need to be talked down from. However, now we are driving in Worcester City and currently doing all the test routes and his anxiety rarely gets any worse than 5 and in most cases is between 1 and 3, so I always make a point to re-inforce that in fact he is much less nervous without even realising it. I wanted to thank you for these videos, they are especially helpful in our situation as we cant get the help of an instructor.
You are right about holding people. I was about to take a left(we give priority to oncoming cars when turning left) and my instructor was shouting at me for being slow and holding the following cars. I panicked and overlooked an oncoming car. I was quick enough to break but the experience left me very shaken.
I'm sorry to hear that. It's normal for new drivers to hold people up.
I get anxious when I drive and pray to God whenever I drive. I had driven for 2 years until I hit a car in a carpark (it's my colleague's car and luckily, she wasn't in the car...of course, I paid for the damage). Since then I give myself lots of excuses and stop driving for over 6 years now...In my mind, I don't see the need to drive again and enjoy myself being a passenger. But in 2022, I suddenly realise that I should pick up driving as a way to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. Your video encourages me a lot because you make me realise that it's okay to feel anxious. All I need is to take my time to learn, to have more positive self-talk and arouse my interest in driving until I become a confident driver one day. It’s very hard to find someone likes you who understand how I feel. Your videos mean so much to me and help me to regain my confidence in driving. Hope you can keep posting videos so I can keep learning! Thank you!
I just want you to let you know that I drove for 30 mins around the suburb where I lived today!!! I had butterflies in my stomach before I did it. Hubby said I did well but when I turned left, I was a bit close to the curb and when I parked my car, my car was a bit far from the curb...so I need to practise more. Anyway, I felt so good for driving again and very thankful to you!
The best part about those people who bully and in-particular who tailgate, is the fact they stay so close to you the whole way, then overtake after sometime only for you then to pass them waiting at a red light somewhere - people just need to learn tailgating doesn't have the effects they want.
Agreed.
I’m very anxious now after I’ve changed 2 instructors in 6 months
First I’ve done 30 hours and didn’t learn anything just made me feel guilty that I’m not learning quick and I will never be ready for next level and second one I’ve aid £40 per hour and told me to watch RUclips videos that will make me a better student while I’m on the road with him and told him that I’m working 12 hours Monday to friday and sometimes don’t have time but we just didn’t work together anymore ! Now I have my test booked in 2 months and don’t have any instructor fingers crossed will find a instructor this week !all the best to all and be safe
Since everyone is sharing their anxiety experience, I'm gonna share mine. From the start, I already felt the pressure to learn to drive and to learn quickly. We bought a car on sale but no one knows how to drive it. So I need to learn quickly and pass my driving test so that we can finally drive the car. I thought at first that it was going to be easy since everyone else seems to be doing it. But boy was I dead wrong.
I failed in my driving school test because I forgot how to do reverse parking and would sometimes oversteer. It took a month of weekly practices with a friend before I finally got a hang of things and was able to finally pass.
I thought that finally getting a license is a seal of approval that means that I can drive. Again, I was wrong. Within the first 3 months, my car got into four collisions, with the last one costing me a great deal of money. I couldn't properly estimate the width of my car and have even hit the curb in a few occassions. There were also a lot of things that I didn't know how to respond since they were not taught to me like how to deal with foggy windshields and wing mirrors on rainy days and that car batteries get discharged if you dont use the car for a week.
All these bad experiences just made my anxiety worse to the point that it turned into a phobia. But someone still had to drive the car when we needed to go somewhere. So now, I really pray a lot before going for a drive in order to calm my fears and allow me to focus on the drive.
I really cant say that I've conquered my driving anxiety now. I still try to avoid driving if I can and would always commute long distances rather than drive my car. Hopefully, the day will come where I could finally stop being afraid of it.
I'm sorry to hear that. A lot of what you say is fairly common. Most new drivers can't judge the width of their car, even most experienced drivers can't down to the last few centimeters. Most my pupils go to hit stuff, but I stop them by braking or taking the wheel. The key is to stop if you're not sure, listen to your judgement, don't second guess it. If it looks tight, don't try it. Sounds to me like some good teaching may help you. Car batteries only discharge after a week if they need replacing, a good battery should give you 3 months easy, usually it's a 20% discharge per month for a lead acid car battery. Car batteries usually last 3-6 years in my experience. As for dealing with icy windows these two videos may help: ruclips.net/video/KtBZ-TItVeA/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/ZSlxNpo8j0w/видео.html
Having working air-condition helps a lot.
This video may help you with judgement: ruclips.net/video/tIo8Cv7lY0c/видео.html
@@ConquerDriving Holy smokes. You do reply on every post. Thanks for this. I actually watched your videos on width judgment and on how to stay centered. But I'm still not confident with my judgment so I end up braking or slowing down every now and then when going through narrow roads. I wish I could avoid these roads but they're the only way to and from our house. So i bought these two antenna like objects that I can stick to the corner of my car near the headlights so I can see from the front where the corners are. My car might look funny as a result and other drivers might laugh at me for doing that, but at least I will be a safer driver on the road.
I learned to drive in 2010 but since I have been watching your video my driving has improved a lot for which I am thankful to you. I am an electrical engineer by profession , I plan to go to the UAE next year for job.
I hope that if I ever have the opportunity to go to the UK in my life, I would like to meet you.
You are one of the best and honest instructor i really appreciate your work for us. Always be happy !
I've been watching your videos for a little over a year. I've been driving automatics here in the States since the beginning but been always curious about driving manuals. I've driven them a little when renting cars in France but in the end, the hills got the best of me and had to pay more money for automatics - ouch! To make a long story short, less than a week ago I purchased a new Mustang and it's a manual (I specifically sought it out). Everything you discussed in your videos I've applied. In the end, I still have to learn my car and most importantly, disregard those around me on the road. I live in NY where it's the traffic mecca of the world but I had to push aside the anxiety and move forward (pun intended) with confidence.
Just want to say thank you for the videos, for teaching an old bloke new tricks. You're very CLEAR, to the point, and super well informed and it shows in all of your videos. Keep up the great work! Cheers!
I'm happy to hear that, thank you. Nice car!
You are a fantastic instructor. If only all instructors were like you. I am so grateful for these videos. I am still so anxious about driving on the motorway.
When I was 14 I was in a high speed crash (as a passenger) which still effects me today and have been putting off driving, however recently given it a go to start driving lessons. Your videos have given me a lot of confidence I have a very long way to go hopefully one day I’ll get there. Taking small steps to boost my confidence your channel is part of my recovery I can’t thank you enough
I'm very happy to hear that I'm helping you!
You nailed it during your intro when you said "why am i bothering to do this" i dont know why i am anxious and scared of the world so theres nothing i can do to manage it. Good video tho thanks for trying
I had to stop my driving lesson yesterday because of this so this is perfect timing thank you
I hope it helps you.
I got my license in 2015. I own an automatic car and I can drive it well. But the minute I get into a manual car I get so anxious. I'm still struggling with gears and I don't know what to do going uphill and when the road is busy. I'm also struggling with clutch control. Your videos are really helping me. Keep up the good work
Been practicing with my Dad and haven’t had any professional lessons, I get really anxious before lessons and if I’m not feeling up to it that day I don’t go out. My left leg shakes a lot after a lesson and it takes me a while to relax after a lesson. I hope having a professional teacher will make me mor relaxed in the car and we will do things that make me more confident. I want to be able to drive and I’ll do it someday!
A good professional can help you with the right guidance.
Hey. I've got the same problem too. The left leg shaking because of the nerves while driving with my dad. I also go to a local driving school but my dad does makes me drive for additional practice on weekends.
I know it's been a year since you posted this comment and I hope you are doing well
not your dad nor a relative because they might pass you their anxiety...and believe me you receive this anxiety much more from People you know.. its a cruel thing....I got my driver's license and now the real thing starts....I may get some more lessons because my instructor was not explaining things and not letting me to make decisions which affected me
this guy is great glad i found him 3 yrs later- from usa
The important thing to remember about fear or anxiety is that it is a survival mechanism. What does fear do? It raises our awareness. As our ancestors might have done, treading carefully through the jungle being alert was the best mindset for survival when looking out for any predators that might be around you.
Fear is (unfortunately) necessary and it's the first step to making you conscientious. That's really the first test of being a good driver (IMO). But too much fear will cripple you and have the opposite effect of making you less aware of your surroundings, it will make you imagine things and think up all kinds of possibilities which will distract you from the task at hand, which is to calmly observe what is going on around you on the road and respond in the appropriate manner (or it might put you off driving altogether, which isn't logical, statistically speaking in terms of safety).
I remember the sensation of fear when I first started learning to drive (2002). In one of my first few lessons, the idea suddenly entered my head that I was sitting in this 1.5 ton metal box on wheels in which I had complete control over, which could squish a person flat and kill me too if I was really stupid. But then later I calmed down and realised that if all these people on the roads had learned to do it, then it wasn't beyond reason that I could learn to do it as well.
The other thing I would say about going slowly if anyone's worried about it is when was the last time you saw a pile up outside Tesco's from a bunch of cars doing 5mph? It just doesn't happen. The real danger (so I heard) is within the first couple of years of passing your test when you're most likely to have an accident. Because after you've passed your test you gain more experience, you then get more confident, go faster and THAT'S where the danger comes in (going faster than you are able to react).
When I learned this, I drove around for the first two years in a little anxiety. But an accident never happened and I've always tried to keep my head ever since, and thankfully I haven't had an accident or even a scratch.
You’re a very good teacher. From what I can see, a lotta patience. Thank you
Whenever I’m anxious, my left leg starts to violently shake... makes clutch control very hard
You're not alone. It gets better with time.
@@ConquerDriving thank you so much for your encouragement
@@ConquerDriving thank you
THIS!!! This happens to me.
@@TheOpus480 it’s been 9 months after I commented this and luckily it’s gotten much better! I still have my moments but after a few deep breaths I’ve gotten it. In fact I passed my test this week!
You’ll get better with time too so don’t stress x
Listening to your advice on how to tackle anxiety was amazing, this session was very helpful for me cause I can't hear anything what
co- passenger talking, sweating, only focusing on road. Driving instructor with psychological touch to it was brilliant. Keep up the good work.
I like my instructor but I feel he wants me to able to drive after just 16 hours,, I just can't and I shouldn't feel bad for being slow in learning so thank you for all of these videos
Same
@@porcelainheartxo little update since you replied, took it slower and was able to drive properly after 24ish hours. Passed my test but still a bit anxious on the road itself, you can take your time you'll be fine just like me.
@@ratratratratratratratratra8808 thank you for replying I’ve done about 16 hours so far and just am being so hard on myself cause I’m not perfect and I feel I’m so slow at learning it’s nice to know you passed though I just wanna quit and give up tbh when I make a fault it makes me want to stop feel like my driving instructor wants me to be the best and I feel like I can’t keep up
Hit the nail on the head with this video. Everything that makes me nervous in lessons.
I think my teacher need to see this
Needed this today because I came from my lesson feeling anxious and defeated. I have been through one instructor before and he was not patient nor good at explaining. My current instructor is better but he will have moments of being ticked off by me making a mistake he didn't think i should make.
Your instructor may not realise that showing a lack of patience will reduce your confidence. Maybe you should tell them how you feel. Keep trying though, we are our own best teachers.
I have finally passed my driving test! Thanks so much for all your videos. They are so helpful clear and they cover most of the topics that I needed. Highly recommended 😊
Congratulations!
i am still struggling and different country.. thank you so much for assisting me driving
This is JUST what I needed. I have my exam in a couple of weeks but still get anxious on the road.
Good luck with your exam 🤞
Thanks a lot, your videos taught me in few minutes what my instructor could not teach in 5 months, Finally passed or better say overcame failure in third attempt after watching your videos.
That's fantastic news, thank you for watching and congratulations on passing!
Mate this was such a great video, thank you. On my last lesson, I panicked when someone cut across me and my instructor had to beep the horn as the other driver nearly caused an accident. From then on I was a bundle of nerves, rolled back, stalled and later on mixed up my exits at a roundabout three times. I just couldn't calm back down- my leg was shaking, I was gripping the wheel.. it was a nightmare. Going to write down my anxieties tonight and get ready for a nice calm lesson tomorrow.
I hope it goes well 😊
My Anxiety happens when am in bussy roads like 4 way stopRobots,it makes me loose my confidence cz it's like I might hit someone's car or someone might bump on me 🤦🤦but then I always try to Calm down and boost my confidence @ quiet roads and on what am good at as you always advise us to do that thank you so much Sir💖 God bless
Great video, I am an older driver, I failed 2 tests 10 years ago and have returned for another bite at the cherry. I suffer with nerves, but they are more "what might happen, not what is happening". My instructor great and very patient indeed. (My last instructor used to shout or raise his voice a lot which made me worse)
Keep up the videos, they are really good and help PS: looking at Collingwood via the link :) thanks for that
Acceptance of the learning curve minimising anxiety for me.
Enjoying the good things I do like a nice corner or noticing a hazard early on helps build confidence and effective muscle memory.
Why can’t all driving instructors have the same teaching skills and techniques as you 🥺.
I wanted to thank you for doing all these amazing videos. Driving is becoming more pleasurable. I was trying to find out why my brain is protecting me so much by giving a lot of anxiety. Turned out, it was the lost control, i was afraid of. I am fixing it now, hopefully will do better soon.
Mine's a fear of accidents, I have lost quite a few of close family and friends to this.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
I passed my driving test last Thursday and I’m here to get some reassurance. My inexperience makes me a bit nervous. Thank you for all the helpful videos.
That's great news, congratulations on passing and thank you for watching!
@@ConquerDriving Thank you!
i got the practical exam coming up wish me luck im honestly feeling a bit nervous
Best of luck u got this!
@@nareshthevathas5456 Thank you
All the best. Even I have exam in two days.
@@reddyv1259 i have mine in 2 days as well but best of luck i just keep forgetting to check my mirrors mainly and switching lanes bugs me but ill give an update when its all over
Good luck 🤞 ☺️
You're honestly a life saver. Throughout this whole process I've had severe anxiety, shakes, gripping the wheel too tight, heart palpitations and not hearing my instructor. Earlier in the year I got a good instrutor that really helped, but unfortunately they can no longer teach and it's the anxiety has gotten worse and worse since. Had my test yesterday and it totally got the better of me :(
I'm sorry to hear that. Try to stay positive and keep up the practise. I wish you the best of luck learning to drive and with your next test.
I'm personally anxious about damaging the car by hitting something or misshifting. It's not nice to hold anyone up either.
I worry about this too.
It's just like learning to play a musical instrument, you've got to practice, practice, practice.
You know what I did after I passed my test, I would go out for drives late at night (around 10pm). I'd have Waze set to take me home and just leave it quietly in the background so when I decided I had enough I just followed the instructions home. That was a kind of 'safety' line for me. But those late night sessions allowed me to take my time about everything because it was less busy on the roads. Try it if you have time, you won't believe how much progress you can make in a month :0)
Yeah I get you but don’t worry take it slow you probably won’t hit something sometimes I think that when I’m going past parked cars and other cars on the other side of me but I never have and the other cars will move to help give you space too. Also my instructor said if you hold someone up don’t worry take your time they’re just gonna have to wait what can you do. Like with parallel parking a car came behind me and she said just take your time to get in the spot that’s what you have to do or you’ll end up being further from the curb etc just take your time they’ll have to wait it’s not illegal lol even if they’re beeping ignore it and do what you have to do then they can go after
Now that I'm a learner I noticed there's 3 things that makes me nervous when driving.
1. The taxis. They're reckless and unpredictable. Can easily cause an accident to other road users if your not careful.
2. Holding up traffic if I stall at a stop or a light.
3. Cars coming from the side, more specifically from my right side. But that I picked up is due to the accident I was in years ago and pretty suprised that it's now affecting my driving. I'm working on driving a bit faster because I'm super careful when driving on a busier road.
So I'll use these tips!
I hope they help and I wish you the best of luck.
I have bought a car since 6 months but never used it cause anxiety from driving always stopped me ..... thanks a lot for your videos
Try driving nearby places or around your neighbourhood.
@@ZEE.N-m5l i cant ,I am so afraid and its such a mess where I am ,cars all around and very few places to park
You're welcome ☺ I hope you find the courage to try it out. Start off easy. Really easy.
If you can, drive out to a rural area, where there are few other cars. That's what worked for me.
@@hamsterama If I could take my car to a rural area ,I would knew to drive well 😅
I’m having severe anxiety about driving in dual carriage ways. Other than that I got better in my driving. Hope dual carriage way will not come to my exam. Thank you all for your videos Richard.
Wow, your lesson could be easily applied to real life. Excellent.
How I wish you can come to South Africa to help me😩 I'm honestly struggling and watching your videos always make me feel better. I just realised that I have anxiety and my driving instructor is making me more anxious with constantly comparing me to other learners🤦🏽♀️
I know you posted this 2 years ago, but I just wanted to say thank you for the videos again, they truly are helping me❤