Ladies, as a man I can tell you that if a man does not want to hear what you have to say (about his treatment of you) he is NOT gonna listen whether you are yelling or if you are calm and rational. When dudes don't want to take the accountability it is in one ear and out the other. This is because we know that y'all are not going nowhere regardless, so why listen? We respond to ACTIONS, not useless words. You might as well just throw the whole relationship away.
Whewwww this is the truth! If you don't call out things in the beginning, it will become a problem further down the line. And if you allow them to get away with it, then it will be harder to get them to stop. Men test you.
@I Am Free 2019 Yes I agree! However, music and general entertainment tend to be very spiritual, whether good spirits or *deceptive* spirits. This is why we're told to test them; which is why I personally prefer silence or nature sounds while meditating or praying.
it's not that simple .....communicate with God is having a relationship with God in stay in the word of God constantly and be Obedient to God. And have Faith in God.
For a man to be so vindictive means he's emotionally immature and that's not the man for you! Ladies treat them the same way they treat you! No more and no less!
@@thelmathomas3437 again it's immature. If he doesn't like the way she communicates then leave the relationship or be man enough to tell her. Why stay and ignite so much pain and grief because she said something he didn't like? That's how so much toxicity starts.
Not having control over your emotions is very dangerous! I never retaliate or seek revenge! I leave it up to God he does a way better job than I ever could! I might not witness it but I do get to hear about it! The hardest part is trying not to laugh!
It's NOT human nature for a man to go sleep with your friend or sister, or to steal money from you. That's pure evil and if anyone's capable of doing such disgusting things get far away from them!
Yet they would NEVER EVER take you back if you slept with HIS BEST FRIEND, BROTHER, UNCLE, etc. though.....😒😒😒 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, if you did, he will be HORRIBLE TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WALKING until his dying day blaming ALL OF US for the sins of one. 😳 @tonygaskins is there a fix for this in a Man?
@lol lol Plssss take time to heal. Talk about it with the new women you meet. Try to deal with your triggers and ALWAYS STAY POSITIVE. Our mind is a very powerful powerful tool. Feed your mind with positivity. Your will overcome! Be Blessed :-)
Great advice/information. I’ve had many guys think NOT communicating with me for days after we’ve communicated for months is okay. NO.!! That behavior is not okay. You can’t communicate with me for months then think you can go a few days without communicating. I understand sometimes people need alone time, but I need that to be communicated. I expect the “hey, just have a lot going on right now I need some time to decompress” I’ll be like COOL. Take your time, I hope you work everything through. But when you want to just disappear out of thin air...? NO. I always check men on this. You can’t do that.
But are you in a committed relationship with these men? If yes, that’s a problem. Otherwise a man will feel he owes you no explanation for disappearing.
S K honestly it’s just common curtesy..... if the man hasn’t learned how to be courteous, he’s probably not the best person to enter a relationship with...
KRM it’s, but men don’t think like women. Also men are talking to multiple women, always assume that, unless he says he wants to be exclusive with you.
S K listen I understand that..... my comment said it’s common curtesy. Like something everyone does in all walks of life. Like literally all things relational. You communicate effectively or be often misunderstood. Your choice.... but it really just be immature men. However in my life, I have seen and it never fails. The person who acts immature in one area of life is often immature in multiple areas.
Idk how many times imma watch these videos but I know every time I do I perceive it completely different. I write, I distance, I practice. I go to the gym and reinforce positivity. I come back and repeat, I go to work and overcome the tasks, and repeat, I go home and relax, I repeat. Day in day out this is an amazing process unfolding.
So true you must call a man out immediately on his inconsistences in a mature manner or it will definitely continue. Agreed, using the terms "I feel" and "I need" are very clear and direct to get your point across when hopefully involved with a receptive man. 🙌🏽
I understand. I went through that before & felt like I was dealing with a 4 year old. He had a problem with listening and respecting boundaries so he had to go.
I haven’t always been the best communicator but I’ll definitely start doing better. Healthy communication with my man will always delivery the most effective response in return. The use of I feel statements is the necessary way to communicate your feelings and needs. 😊
No one would believe me that my SON taught me this, step by step, each word he said, in that order, over a period of time as he was growing up. Now he is 19 years old, and I can get him to talk for like 2 hours at a time!!!! I had broken a lot of male relationships cuz I didn’t know how to talk to them. These steps are 100% accurate. This IS NOT just another corny process. But the REAL results will come when you stand on your words after the conversation 💥 Women, we HAVE to follow through on our action plans or our men will lose respect for us INSTANTLY 💥 THIS IS TRUE!
Beautiful eyes coach 😍 Ps: If a man is yelling at me, I stop him right there and asked, are you done? If not, let me know so we can talk. I don’t entertain yelling, it’s not my language!
See I get tired of this. I try to do things the way you are explaining, but honestly men do not want to hear that. I’m just at the point of saying nothing but just blocking, deleting, and moving on. I only have this issue with black men. Why is it soo difficult to date/ be in a relationship with our men .
But sis! It sounds like if you are doing what Toni said you are doing a great job. If they are leaving that is great. It means they are not healthy to be in a real emotional relationship. Sounds like you are en route to your King. Men leaving is a good sign. Keep dating lovely. You are ready 😊
thatlovegirl12 completely agree, this is coddling, treating him like a baby who can’t take any kind of constructive criticism or just have a normal conversation. They’re vindictive I cannot deal with it.
thatlovegirl12 Hey younglady it’s not difficult dating our African American Men,have you consider what men that you’re attracting, not all are bad, have you heard the saying black women are full drama, but back to your point race doesn’t matter you can still have difficulties in other race.
thatlovegirl12 we've always catered to or taken care of them. We do not have to be their mommies, and always say, What's wrong baby?! That's just like giving them a bottle if they always have to be soothed by a woman, or figure the woman has to be their counselor, but then if you do help, then they say, I'm not a baby, and stop chasing. What you are talking about is what this man told me, that if you keep wanting a black man you're going to go through what you talked about. They have been brainwashed into believing that they are not good, and so, if we know that we have value, they try to pull us down to their level, and then abuse us. They figure then they can be the man. No, if he was not a man, after this he sure isn't one, and not all black men are disgusting, but there are plenty, and to not have dated men of other cultures, and to love the beautiful looking and acting black men, that many of us have been around, were used to them, but we are never to take abuse. KEEP LOVING YOURSELF. WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY THEY ARE THE WAY THAT THEY ARE IF THEY DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THEIR ISSUES, because they can, and just like we do. It's up to them to grow into the man of their choice. My daughter said, Sone people don't change. Thus kind of confusion gets to you after a while, you know, when we say we are something when we are not.
This was a nice video. A few good point were mention on the video that as a man I could agree. I also took the time to read a few comments and I must say if your relationship is toxic then you won’t reach the goal spoken of which I good communication. Walk away and take the time to find that one that will listen and talk to you.
Hi, Tony! I found your book in Walmart about a year ago and read it, yet was unaware of your yt channel until it appeared in my feed recently. :) Thanks for your insights, I do practice these tenets and believe communication is a two way endeavor. 😊😎🏆
@Angele Melendez you are so rude. I am the same way and it doesn't help to say stop it even if you put a smiley face after it. An appropriate response would be to encourage us to get therapy.
If a man yells or curses I choose first to say firmly and as calm as I can, "u don't have the right to yell at me or treat me this way" , then stay quiet. If not, then second choice, I walk away, ain't nobody got time 4 that!
This is good. Going through this right now. Both us will shut down but because I love you I tried not to do that. It didn't work on his end. Now he still isn't speaking. I was raised by my dad, so I don't move and think like most women. I do exactly what you said. The fear whether physical or emotional Makes me eventually rise and my thought pattern may not be what you want.
@KRM I told mine once in was focus, I chase no man and refuse to go through the mess God got me out of. He has been silent since. I can apologize for my part but emotional abandonment I dont do well. I don't leave the one I am with like that.
Erica R. Edge I am with you there. If someone disengages for any length of time, they have just helped me realize I can live quite well without them. I am over and out.
@Eternity with Christ...no excuses here. @KRM understood what I was saying. We are good. Disrespect is not my thing whether it's a young child or an adult. I do my best to respect. We are fine. Its learning each other and with out knowing the rest of the dynamics of our relationship. I appreciate my love. He knows it because I tell him and show it. May Grace and Peace be unto you and yours.
There is a meme circulating online that jokingly says woman of this generation are g-unit soldiers and feminine women are hard to come by. It is very funny but also very true. As woman we have to stay true to our nature while also having a strong sense of self-respect, solid boundaries and firmness when need be. Emotional intelligence within any relationship (romantic, friendship, family) is extremely important. This is how you allow unlock the true selves of others and cultivate genuine connections❤️.
When u finish leveling the "playing field", most women will thrive in other positive ways. From what your describing as it relates to "communication", most healthy women do not give or have the time to help a man develop. It's so sad that most men have played with women to the point of destruction, women are closer to not needing men. After all if your not living god's way, there is no other way.
I don't check a man for playing games with me I leave them alone only so they can come back begging. I hate that. Why we just can't get to know each other and let situations happen naturally. Men want to rush to see where a women's head is but when a women rush them to the alter he wants to slow down and lets get to know each other. Also I'm glad he mentioned how vindictive men can be. A good friend of mine lived in my neighborhood twice in two different home's with two different husband's. My brother came home one day from working at the grocery store at the end of our block and told me my good friend's husband slept with the cashier there. She's a stay at home mom and literally goes to that store everyday. Neither one of her husband's made a lot of money and they really wanted her to get a job but she'll get pregnant to put a stop to the whole working thing. Married people seem so miserable. EVERY married person on my job flirt with the singles, every married women that goes grocery shopping with her husband stare other women down, every married person on my facebook friend list is negative. Marriage mean's nothing more to me than to have sex and have children without sinning because that can't be love.
Ladies listen to him. If you focus on 'I feel' and 'I need' statements. Then you will quickly be able to see if the man is keeper or loser. I call it the 4 week test.
Ive done that but my attitude comes out way too fast and I snap off. I dont have time to beat around any bushes. He finds out real quick what hurt me and how I feel cuz its game over!
@@heavenlyzone2163hun, are you saying you want to learn to do better? Or are you saying the right man will accept you like that? Men who accept crazy behaviour from us women often abuse us in the end.
@@munix9351 I'm saying I have tried the I feel way and that just doesn't work. I will however speak my mind the same way they do. Why do we always have to be the ones to bow down and they can do and say whatever?
@@heavenlyzone2163 but sugar what do you define as not working? If a man disrespects you, ghosts you or disregards your 'i feel' statements that is a SIGN that he isn't the one. That means you are doing a great job as a feminine woman by speaking your mind and clearing the way for a guy that will accept and honour your 'I feel' Statements.
@@heavenlyzone2163 Men that you think do 'whatever' always marry the second option never the woman they 'really' wanted. Because the 1st option always makes him work hard. The boy in a mans body never likes to be challenged so will accept the option 2 woman.
Thank you for explaining how to be calm rational & reasonable style in asking questions to the guy. Yassss... I am going to pay attention and actually listen more. Love ❤️ ya boo
Rules and cultures have funny concoctions. Respect is important on so many different levels in our life. We have to have standards when dealing with our partners. We can soften up, but never forget you’re the prize.
Nice!! I had as psychologist tell me years to do the "I feel" comment while expressing yourself. In my life personally, it hasnt worked at all., most are already feeling like OMG, what? They what do you mean and you start explaining. Then they get defensive!!
@Eternity With Christ yes yes lady!! Amen! I have been kind of doing that for some time now which means I have a lot of toxicity in my life and around me, and I tend to always meet toxic. So therefore I do look at myself off the time to make sure I am not toxic cuz I can't ask someone to do something that I cannot do or have not been able to manage. I try to be fair about things but when I call someone out I have ground to do so. And no it does not go well even though I'm telling the truth. With the people that I've tried to do it with it has not gone well and they get very angry. I'm praying on a better way to handle things and so forth
Me and my boyfriend have dated for two years but he really doesn't know how to greet the right and when I tell him I don't like the ways he greets he says I like complaining , we are now in long distance relationship....am working in another country and he's in Uganda.....I like calls than charts on WhatsApp or Facebook....so yesterday I tell him to download IMO cause he doesn't often call me direct on number , he says it's expensive, today I told him if you can't find away of calling me ,am going to block you on WhatsApp and messenger , that's what I did .....so now it's up to him to chose.......His your namesake Tonny , Thanks for the videos, it has helped get stronger and speak like I don't care about our relationship but I do , Have realized that actions speaks louder than words through your videos
No time was ‘right’ to have a conversation with my Ex, anytime I told him we needed to talk about something his response was THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME. He was so afraid to face reality since he had created a fake imaginary life for himself.
I resonate with everything you're saying but what about the man who says (when you use "I feel" statements): "why would you think that way?" or "why do you always say this, you just want to argue" (Neither of which are true!). What can a person say to that because all it does is put a person on the defense and makes them feel guilty for even bringing it up? Get what I'm asking????
Can do you a video stating you opinion about who should come first in a mans life. Whether it’s his significant other and children , or his family he was born in etc. also how to handle situations when upset.
I tend to text with a affirmation and a quest of his time when he has it....when I am ready to talk. I get get more positive and some sweet nothings on the call. I don’t call , I let him call me. I never make plans pass 48hrs. And make him accountable for being available, present and focus. When he’s not, I let at least a week or two before and more plans.
So why didn’t I watch this video before I blew up last night? I have to find new ways to express myself without being emotionally attached to the infraction in a way that makes me act like a fool! That’ll be my task and self care for the next few weeks.
YES SIR. NO SIR. YES BABY. PLEASE. THAT'LL WORK WON'T IT. AND KEEP DOWN ARGUMENTS AND FIGHTS SO NOBODY HAS TO CALL THE COPS TO AVOID THE COPS SHOOTING ANYONE ALL UP IN THEIR HOMES.
It's so interesting the person I'm currently dating was talking about the topic of saying never and always. Your video has helped me out a lot. I'm setting standards for myself and trying my hardest to stick to them. Dating to marry.
The Narc waits for tired moments or weakened state. Then they start pushing buttons. That's the time to measure your words.... Quiet & respectful maintains the Crown
How do you communicate with a man that doesn't really communicate much? Sounds like a trick question doesn't it?? There are men who will disregard what you're saying to them because they can't communicate effectively or they are just closed off.
Hello Tony I have a question if you can help Will be so great I would like to know if it’s ok for a woman to do the 1 st step if she loves a man I mean I am in love with a man a good man and he is much older than me I wonder if it’s a good idea to tell him or if I should wait for him to talk to me
I believe everything you are saying the truth. The thing is that this sounds like a whole job liking raising him. I had no idea that men were so messed up especially in the African American community.
Ladies, as a man I can tell you that if a man does not want to hear what you have to say (about his treatment of you) he is NOT gonna listen whether you are yelling or if you are calm and rational. When dudes don't want to take the accountability it is in one ear and out the other. This is because we know that y'all are not going nowhere regardless, so why listen? We respond to ACTIONS, not useless words. You might as well just throw the whole relationship away.
exactly, i dont understand why you have to check a grown man. its easier to cut him off. peace of mind is PRICELESS
Lol
Keep living, u will find the truth. Women leave & don't return.
Lol
Thank you King!
Some men don't listen however you bring it...I'm happy I'm single I'm enjoying it..peace of mind above anything/anyone
Factssss💯💯💯💯
If this is not the truth !!!!!!!
Me too love my peace of mind and my singleness too. Thank you God number one
So true.
Me 2
Whewwww this is the truth! If you don't call out things in the beginning, it will become a problem further down the line. And if you allow them to get away with it, then it will be harder to get them to stop. Men test you.
tigers can’t change their stripes lol
What I need to know is how to communicate with God.
Just make sure you're free of distraction (i.e. tv, music, phone, etc.)
@I Am Free 2019 Yes I agree! However, music and general entertainment tend to be very spiritual, whether good spirits or *deceptive* spirits. This is why we're told to test them; which is why I personally prefer silence or nature sounds while meditating or praying.
Began through praise
I like your answer 👏👏
it's not that simple .....communicate with God is having a relationship with God in stay in the word of God constantly and be Obedient to God. And have Faith in God.
I do that. I can't talk when I'm upset, so I usually will wait 24 hours before having a deep conversation. This is great information.
For a man to be so vindictive means he's emotionally immature and that's not the man for you! Ladies treat them the same way they treat you! No more and no less!
No, he's just not going to put up with a womans disrespectful mouth so he retaliates in ways that a woman wouldn't expect
@@thelmathomas3437 again it's immature. If he doesn't like the way she communicates then leave the relationship or be man enough to tell her. Why stay and ignite so much pain and grief because she said something he didn't like? That's how so much toxicity starts.
SheIsMe38 seriously we have words for a reason and if he won’t listen he’s not a man just a selfish boy..
Not having control over your emotions is very dangerous! I never retaliate or seek revenge! I leave it up to God he does a way better job than I ever could! I might not witness it but I do get to hear about it! The hardest part is trying not to laugh!
Correct on so many levels!!!
It's NOT human nature for a man to go sleep with your friend or sister, or to steal money from you. That's pure evil and if anyone's capable of doing such disgusting things get far away from them!
I know that’s right!
Yet they would NEVER EVER take you back if you slept with HIS BEST FRIEND, BROTHER, UNCLE, etc. though.....😒😒😒
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, if you did, he will be HORRIBLE TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WALKING until his dying day blaming ALL OF US for the sins of one. 😳 @tonygaskins is there a fix for this in a Man?
@lol lol Plssss take time to heal. Talk about it with the new women you meet. Try to deal with your triggers and ALWAYS STAY POSITIVE. Our mind is a very powerful powerful tool. Feed your mind with positivity. Your will overcome! Be Blessed :-)
My wife accused me of cheating for years but now I know it was her. She constantly took money out of my account without letting know.
True. Horrible
Great advice/information. I’ve had many guys think NOT communicating with me for days after we’ve communicated for months is okay. NO.!! That behavior is not okay. You can’t communicate with me for months then think you can go a few days without communicating. I understand sometimes people need alone time, but I need that to be communicated. I expect the “hey, just have a lot going on right now I need some time to decompress” I’ll be like COOL. Take your time, I hope you work everything through. But when you want to just disappear out of thin air...? NO. I always check men on this. You can’t do that.
I can't stand that!
But are you in a committed relationship with these men? If yes, that’s a problem. Otherwise a man will feel he owes you no explanation for disappearing.
S K honestly it’s just common curtesy..... if the man hasn’t learned how to be courteous, he’s probably not the best person to enter a relationship with...
KRM it’s, but men don’t think like women. Also men are talking to multiple women, always assume that, unless he says he wants to be exclusive with you.
S K listen I understand that..... my comment said it’s common curtesy. Like something everyone does in all walks of life. Like literally all things relational. You communicate effectively or be often misunderstood. Your choice.... but it really just be immature men. However in my life, I have seen and it never fails. The person who acts immature in one area of life is often immature in multiple areas.
Idk how many times imma watch these videos but I know every time I do I perceive it completely different. I write, I distance, I practice. I go to the gym and reinforce positivity. I come back and repeat, I go to work and overcome the tasks, and repeat, I go home and relax, I repeat. Day in day out this is an amazing process unfolding.
If a man ever sleeps with someone I know or close with, that’s a done deal 🙅🏾♀️
miss Jammeh if my man sleeps with anyone it’s definitely a done deal.Later potatoe
Yup you’re getting blocked and delete 🙅🏾♀️
Exactly!
So true you must call a man out immediately on his inconsistences in a mature manner or it will definitely continue. Agreed, using the terms "I feel" and "I need" are very clear and direct to get your point across when hopefully involved with a receptive man. 🙌🏽
I give up!!! I can be calm, yelling or screaming the mf still chooses not to listen I’m done!!! I’m not telling no grown ass man how to act I’m out 💯
Woman shouldn't have to check a grown man who knows what he wants... Any man I have to check early in the game, is not the one for me...
I understand. I went through that before & felt like I was dealing with a 4 year old. He had a problem with listening and respecting boundaries so he had to go.
@@a18sayavedra lmao i'm dead that's a good one! #hilarious
Adriana Sayavedra I had to sleep on this comment and come back 😭😭 gotDAMN
Not exactly true.
"Any woman I have to check early in the game, is not the one for me".
I needed this because sometimes me yelling and screaming thinking that’s the only way he can understand what I’m saying
I haven’t always been the best communicator but I’ll definitely start doing better. Healthy communication with my man will always delivery the most effective response in return. The use of I feel statements is the necessary way to communicate your feelings and needs. 😊
It's better to be single....
No one would believe me that my SON taught me this, step by step, each word he said, in that order, over a period of time as he was growing up. Now he is 19 years old, and I can get him to talk for like 2 hours at a time!!!! I had broken a lot of male relationships cuz I didn’t know how to talk to them. These steps are 100% accurate. This IS NOT just another corny process. But the REAL results will come when you stand on your words after the conversation 💥 Women, we HAVE to follow through on our action plans or our men will lose respect for us INSTANTLY 💥 THIS IS TRUE!
Beautiful eyes coach 😍
Ps: If a man is yelling at me, I stop him right there and asked, are you done? If not, let me know so we can talk. I don’t entertain yelling, it’s not my language!
Right. Talk to me like a grown woman.
I walk away and leave em yelling
If you with a Narcissist or a insecure man ain't no checking them.
See I get tired of this. I try to do things the way you are explaining, but honestly men do not want to hear that. I’m just at the point of saying nothing but just blocking, deleting, and moving on. I only have this issue with black men. Why is it soo difficult to date/ be in a relationship with our men .
But sis! It sounds like if you are doing what Toni said you are doing a great job. If they are leaving that is great. It means they are not healthy to be in a real emotional relationship. Sounds like you are en route to your King. Men leaving is a good sign. Keep dating lovely. You are ready 😊
thatlovegirl12 completely agree, this is coddling, treating him like a baby who can’t take any kind of constructive criticism or just have a normal conversation. They’re vindictive I cannot deal with it.
thatlovegirl12 Hey younglady it’s not difficult dating our African American Men,have you consider what men that you’re attracting, not all are bad, have you heard the saying black women are full drama, but back to your point race doesn’t matter you can still have difficulties in other race.
thatlovegirl12 we've always catered to or taken care of them. We do not have to be their mommies, and always say, What's wrong baby?! That's just like giving them a bottle if they always have to be soothed by a woman, or figure the woman has to be their counselor, but then if you do help, then they say, I'm not a baby, and stop chasing.
What you are talking about is what this man told me, that if you keep wanting a black man you're going to go through what you talked about. They have been brainwashed into believing that they are not good, and so, if we know that we have value, they try to pull us down to their level, and then abuse us. They figure then they can be the man. No, if he was not a man, after this he sure isn't one, and not all black men are disgusting, but there are plenty, and to not have dated men of other cultures, and to love the beautiful looking and acting black men, that many of us have been around, were used to them, but we are never to take abuse.
KEEP LOVING YOURSELF. WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY THEY ARE THE WAY THAT THEY ARE IF THEY DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THEIR ISSUES, because they can, and just like we do. It's up to them to grow into the man of their choice. My daughter said, Sone people don't change.
Thus kind of confusion gets to you after a while, you know, when we say we are something when we are not.
thatlovegirl12 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you for confirming that men sense weakness
With a narcissist you can never say anything that set them off
This was a nice video. A few good point were mention on the video that as a man I could agree. I also took the time to read a few comments and I must say if your relationship is toxic then you won’t reach the goal spoken of which I good communication. Walk away and take the time to find that one that will listen and talk to you.
Hi, Tony! I found your book in Walmart about a year ago and read it, yet was unaware of your yt channel until it appeared in my feed recently. :) Thanks for your insights, I do practice these tenets and believe communication is a two way endeavor. 😊😎🏆
Oh I did this last night... thing is I cut him off. Got too comfortable. No one clearly ever calls him out.
Omg it’s so hard for me to talk without crying sometimes I’m so emotional and I need to stop it
Stop it. 😊
@Angele Melendez you are so rude. I am the same way and it doesn't help to say stop it even if you put a smiley face after it. An appropriate response would be to encourage us to get therapy.
If a man yells or curses I choose first to say firmly and as calm as I can, "u don't have the right to yell at me or treat me this way" , then stay quiet. If not, then second choice, I walk away, ain't nobody got time 4 that!
Men are to much work and hard to understand I just can’t do it
I agree
Lol, yes
I agree.
Man: hey what's up
Girl: ewww gross leave me alone (secretly likes the attention)
Man: .....
Girl: uhhh men are so difficult to understand
Treat them like kids not men don't give up that pussycat
This was the best video on how to communicate not with a guy but with anybody. Thank you. I will be sure to apply this ever time
oweee this video is so true. I have to stop being so emotional when addressing men. ty for the advice tony
So humbling....... I receive this in its entirety. An area of improvement for myself! Thank you for sharing this! much appreciated.
THANK YOU FOR THE WISDOM👑👑🙏🏿🙏🏿
This is good. Going through this right now. Both us will shut down but because I love you I tried not to do that. It didn't work on his end. Now he still isn't speaking. I was raised by my dad, so I don't move and think like most women. I do exactly what you said. The fear whether physical or emotional
Makes me eventually rise and my thought pattern may not be what you want.
Erica R. Edge I am the same way. I think women who were surrounded by mostly men growing up operate very different.
@KRM I told mine once in was focus, I chase no man and refuse to go through the mess God got me out of. He has been silent since. I can apologize for my part but emotional abandonment I dont do well. I don't leave the one I am with like that.
Erica R. Edge I am with you there. If someone disengages for any length of time, they have just helped me realize I can live quite well without them. I am over and out.
@Eternity with Christ...no excuses here. @KRM understood what I was saying. We are good. Disrespect is not my thing whether it's a young child or an adult. I do my best to respect. We are fine. Its learning each other and with out knowing the rest of the dynamics of our relationship. I appreciate my love. He knows it because I tell him and show it. May Grace and Peace be unto you and yours.
There is a meme circulating online that jokingly says woman of this generation are g-unit soldiers and feminine women are hard to come by. It is very funny but also very true. As woman we have to stay true to our nature while also having a strong sense of self-respect, solid boundaries and firmness when need be. Emotional intelligence within any relationship (romantic, friendship, family) is extremely important. This is how you allow unlock the true selves of others and cultivate genuine connections❤️.
When u finish leveling the "playing field", most women will thrive in other positive ways. From what your describing as it relates to "communication", most healthy women do not give or have the time to help a man develop. It's so sad that most men have played with women to the point of destruction, women are closer to not needing men. After all if your not living god's way, there is no other way.
New knowledge for me.. Thanks as always Tony! God bless you and your family 🙏🏾
Extremely helpful
It’s so true. I have been doing it. And I am falling for him again after 8 years... thanks
Tony, thanks for sharing these facts. I’m saying hello from Michigan. I’m so thankful for your channel. Continue on this awesome journey
Ww aw
It’s great information. I love all of your material.
I don't check a man for playing games with me I leave them alone only so they can come back begging. I hate that. Why we just can't get to know each other and let situations happen naturally. Men want to rush to see where a women's head is but when a women rush them to the alter he wants to slow down and lets get to know each other. Also I'm glad he mentioned how vindictive men can be. A good friend of mine lived in my neighborhood twice in two different home's with two different husband's. My brother came home one day from working at the grocery store at the end of our block and told me my good friend's husband slept with the cashier there. She's a stay at home mom and literally goes to that store everyday. Neither one of her husband's made a lot of money and they really wanted her to get a job but she'll get pregnant to put a stop to the whole working thing. Married people seem so miserable. EVERY married person on my job flirt with the singles, every married women that goes grocery shopping with her husband stare other women down, every married person on my facebook friend list is negative. Marriage mean's nothing more to me than to have sex and have children without sinning because that can't be love.
Ladies listen to him. If you focus on 'I feel' and 'I need' statements. Then you will quickly be able to see if the man is keeper or loser. I call it the 4 week test.
Ive done that but my attitude comes out way too fast and I snap off. I dont have time to beat around any bushes. He finds out real quick what hurt me and how I feel cuz its game over!
@@heavenlyzone2163hun, are you saying you want to learn to do better? Or are you saying the right man will accept you like that? Men who accept crazy behaviour from us women often abuse us in the end.
@@munix9351 I'm saying I have tried the I feel way and that just doesn't work. I will however speak my mind the same way they do. Why do we always have to be the ones to bow down and they can do and say whatever?
@@heavenlyzone2163 but sugar what do you define as not working? If a man disrespects you, ghosts you or disregards your 'i feel' statements that is a SIGN that he isn't the one. That means you are doing a great job as a feminine woman by speaking your mind and clearing the way for a guy that will accept and honour your 'I feel' Statements.
@@heavenlyzone2163 Men that you think do 'whatever' always marry the second option never the woman they 'really' wanted. Because the 1st option always makes him work hard. The boy in a mans body never likes to be challenged so will accept the option 2 woman.
Thank you for the confirmation and other guidance. 🙏🏾
This video is everything 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I appreciate you Tony and your wife for the times. from 64
Mr, Gaskins. Beautiful message! Be blessed Sir!
Teach Awesome Words of Wisdom Thank You MOG
Thank you for explaining how to be calm rational & reasonable style in asking questions to the guy. Yassss... I am going to pay attention and actually listen more. Love ❤️ ya boo
that was so great Tony. Made us understand how a man THINKS when you are talking...
Rules and cultures have funny concoctions. Respect is important on so many different levels in our life. We have to have standards when dealing with our partners. We can soften up, but never forget you’re the prize.
Nice!! I had as psychologist tell me years to do the "I feel" comment while expressing yourself. In my life personally, it hasnt worked at all., most are already feeling like OMG, what? They what do you mean and you start explaining. Then they get defensive!!
@Eternity With Christ yes yes lady!! Amen! I have been kind of doing that for some time now which means I have a lot of toxicity in my life and around me, and I tend to always meet toxic. So therefore I do look at myself off the time to make sure I am not toxic cuz I can't ask someone to do something that I cannot do or have not been able to manage. I try to be fair about things but when I call someone out I have ground to do so. And no it does not go well even though I'm telling the truth. With the people that I've tried to do it with it has not gone well and they get very angry. I'm praying on a better way to handle things and so forth
Does a distance relationship last long??
If he was supposed to pick you up at 7 and got there at 7:10 he should’ve texted.
Me and my boyfriend have dated for two years but he really doesn't know how to greet the right and when I tell him I don't like the ways he greets he says I like complaining , we are now in long distance relationship....am working in another country and he's in Uganda.....I like calls than charts on WhatsApp or Facebook....so yesterday I tell him to download IMO cause he doesn't often call me direct on number , he says it's expensive, today I told him if you can't find away of calling me ,am going to block you on WhatsApp and messenger , that's what I did .....so now it's up to him to chose.......His your namesake Tonny , Thanks for the videos, it has helped get stronger and speak like I don't care about our relationship but I do , Have realized that actions speaks louder than words through your videos
No time was ‘right’ to have a conversation with my Ex, anytime I told him we needed to talk about something his response was THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME. He was so afraid to face reality since he had created a fake imaginary life for himself.
I resonate with everything you're saying but what about the man who says (when you use "I feel" statements): "why would you think that way?" or "why do you always say this, you just want to argue" (Neither of which are true!). What can a person say to that because all it does is put a person on the defense and makes them feel guilty for even bringing it up? Get what I'm asking????
Same!
That's called manipulation! He's deflecting! Its impossible communicate with a grown boy!
This is a great question! I honestly was dealing with this a few years ago
Can do you a video stating you opinion about who should come first in a mans life. Whether it’s his significant other and children , or his family he was born in etc. also how to handle situations when upset.
Lexxiam his wife comes first
This is golden! Thank you sooo much! God bless you Tony!
Thank you for this video, it teaching me alot. Half the things you said do not do , I do subconsciously
I tend to text with a affirmation and a quest of his time when he has it....when I am ready to talk. I get get more positive and some sweet nothings on the call. I don’t call , I let him call me. I never make plans pass 48hrs. And make him accountable for being available, present and focus. When he’s not, I let at least a week or two before and more plans.
I needed this
Powerful message
This is Good thank you - ❤️💯 good advice
Thanks Tony, I appreciate u.....
So true. I feel you. Will do.
I needed this. Been thinking of checking my friend on an issue.
So why didn’t I watch this video before I blew up last night? I have to find new ways to express myself without being emotionally attached to the infraction in a way that makes me act like a fool! That’ll be my task and self care for the next few weeks.
YES SIR. NO SIR. YES BABY. PLEASE. THAT'LL WORK WON'T IT. AND KEEP DOWN ARGUMENTS AND FIGHTS SO NOBODY HAS TO CALL THE COPS TO AVOID THE COPS SHOOTING ANYONE ALL UP IN THEIR HOMES.
Are you incinuating positive reinforcement?
Thanks again Tony for another good one much appreciated you're the best
Thanks Tony!..very well said❤🙏
Thank you so much for this ♥️
Wow, I was doing it ALL wrong. Time to redirect!
First time viewer. Thank you for this info! It really got my attention. Looking forward to more.
Thank you! I am having my closure/breakup conversation tomorrow (12/13) and I intend to use your communicating advice.
It's so interesting the person I'm currently dating was talking about the topic of saying never and always. Your video has helped me out a lot. I'm setting standards for myself and trying my hardest to stick to them. Dating to marry.
The Narc waits for tired moments or weakened state. Then they start pushing buttons. That's the time to measure your words.... Quiet & respectful maintains the Crown
Another great video!
This is helpful
Great advice. Especially being emotionally intelligent 💞
This was so perfect. I totally needed it! I’ve been doing it ALL wrong
Wow, my marriage is the opposite. I'm calm, I'm respectful when I need to talk
Check him, call him out but with respect
Thanks Tony. It really does work.
Everything u said is true . I needed to hear this !
How do you communicate with a man that doesn't really communicate much? Sounds like a trick question doesn't it?? There are men who will disregard what you're saying to them because they can't communicate effectively or they are just closed off.
Sounds like he ain't it tbh
Very useful info.
👍Thank you for this information!
This man has good advice
Hello Tony I have a question if you can help
Will be so great I would like to know if it’s ok for a woman to do the 1 st step if she loves a man I mean I am in love with a man a good man and he is much older than me I wonder if it’s a good idea to tell him or if I should wait for him to talk to me
Just here for the comments,am single as can be(lol) but great video
How to communicate with your husband.
Exactly
I know exactly what you are talking about..! This happened to me!!
Hi everyone I'm single so I. Guess I should sign off good vibe Sundays,
GIRL IF YOURE SINGLE THAT PROBABLY MEANS LESS PROBLEMS🙏🤔🤑👍✌
@@HUMANBEING-vp6fw so. True I will be 53 next sat been alone for 3 yrs, I sleep good at nite, lol someone times, I get lonely.. But I'm not desperate
@@nikkisaracini1948 I THINK I PUT UP WITH STUFF I SHOULDN'T KEEP YOUR ENERGY!!!👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@HUMANBEING-vp6fw ty, I will have a great day
In this situation, is your silence a hinder?
I believe everything you are saying the truth. The thing is that this sounds like a whole job liking raising him. I had no idea that men were so messed up especially in the African American community.
Tony, I wish this would happen!
My husband is the one who call me names and argue whenever I say anything he doesn't want to hear.
Nicole don't accept It!!!
How long is eventually supposed to be?