5 Keys to Communicate Better with Men (connect deeper with us)
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
- Learn 5 POWERFUL KEYS to be understood by men and learn HOW THEY THINK when you are talking to them! This will really help you talk more effectively with men :)
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How do I make a guy understand me? How do make a man open up to me? How to do share my feelings with him? How do I have less fights with my boyfriend? I get asked questions like these ALL THE TIME by clients, students and women in my life... so here is a video explaining 5 important keys to understanding how men think about communication and vulnerability that can transform the way you connect with the men in your life you care about.
If you want more support in creating the life and love of your dreams, this is how I can help you ❤️ 👇
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• 5 Keys to Communicate ...
I’m an Autistic person. This info helps me so much. I’ve stopped throwing tantrums and I’m learning to communicate. Thank you so much.
I’m so glad this helped you!
Love when you say so seriously “(men) are simple creatures” 😂😂😂
Now if only women didn’t overthink ..... 🤔
😂😂 what does surrendering into that look like for you?
Mat Shaffer I think it means keeping communication with a man succinct as opposed to a life story 😆😂
Btw I’m an ex lawyer too so it’s difficult to break free from the over articulated life of a lawyer 😆
Mat, you have the sweetest laughs in between! Love it! 🥰
heheeeee thanks ;)
Mat Shaffer ☺️
So true! I find myself trying to talk to my guy as I would my mom or a girlfriend when I'm sad or excited, and he just doesn't get anything I'm saying like they do. Simple creatures indeed. The ease comes when we accept this and address them as such.
I appreciate your opinion on this!
I always wondered why a deeper connection was so difficult. Communication is key and now I've actually learned how to do it. And you have a free love course? Thank you for explaining things in such a kind and clear way! God bless sweet men
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Matt Its very clear. You have a nice calm voice to listening to.
wonderful so glad you liked it :)
QUESTION OF THE DAY - what are your biggest challenges in communicating/being understood by men? Which tip are you going to apply to help you?
Mat Shaffer i didn’t know about the single focus. Great and amazing video- as usual.
WONDERFUL so glad you enjoyed it Linda!!
Biggest challenge: talking about my job which I’m passionate about, my traveling and intercultural experiences as an international interpreter and hearing silence. I’ve long learned to ask questions and listen and I would love to hear someone talk about their passions in return, but when I try to engage with them (even perfectly nice men) on an intellectual or philosophical level I often hear the tumbleweeds. It makes me feel very lonely. I can’t get into another relationship where I feel lonely.
When we are having a debate about something. For instance politics. A long time friend just the other day jumped to a conclusion about the way I felt about something without asking and then said, “I’m tired of arguing. I don’t want to talk any more.” and we were texting. The funny thing is, I could tell he was venting and I hadn’t even replied yet. When I did I knew I didn’t want to argue. I already knew we had different opinions. So I said’ Lets agree to disagree and be done with it. Then he tried to change my mind. Now, I know if I would have done the same he would have exploded. He was looking to argue by jumping the gun from the get go. Now I recognize that I should have set a boundary when he jumped to a conclusion about me that wasn’t true. I should have said something by adding. “Look we’re friends but don’t you think it’s a good idea to ask me how I feel before you make an assumption? Can we agree on that first, before we talk about whats on your mind? We never did get into a huge debate but by his wording he still seemed frustrated at the end and I was a little too, to be honest. I felt like I had to say something to close the conversation on an easier note then how it had started which worked. I hope he wasn’t trying to use me as his “whipping boy” for something that someone else set off in him. That’s not right or fair. He really is just a friend, not a love interest. So I was causes when he started the conversation the way he did. It was not normal fir him.
Hi Mat, how do I support a man to share his emotions once I create a safe space for communication but he remains resistant because he has no idea how to open up emotionally and is a bit overwhelmed by my request? My guy hasn’t seen the benefits of communicating his feelings in his family dynamic but instead has seen his role as being the provider and that’s all that is expected. So my request for deeper communication, no matter how loving and non judgmental I make it, is met with a either blank stare and silence or defensive reaction that whatever he does is not good enough.
I love men, I really do, I love the security they give us girls/ I'm from another era, like old minded in a young body. I like mature intelligent dudes, but I'm having a hard time connecting with whoever men I come across :/
beautiful share my dear
@@Mat_Shaffer I'm 31 ... I don't know about perfect, I just want someone who cares, who has humor and love living simple things, his family as well as mine and friends ... Life's about little moments, the good also the bad cuz no one's exumed from pain, that's life, but having someone to share with, who is willing to commit and be on the same boat then I thing that's what life's all about.
Omg truthh..3rd point. The moment i shed a tear, he says dont cry i didnt mean to make u cry. I didnt do anything.
Thank you for your recaps, Mat! I like to screenshot them. Numbers 1 and 4 were really helpful reminders for me to use with my sweet guy! I often find myself lost in the middle of a story when I get the overwhelmed look and then feel badly for launching into it without giving a directional preface. 😋
amazing thank you for teh feedback Kesha!! appreciate it!!
Matt,you are really born to do this
I love listening to you....your teachings are spot on
Glad you enjoy it!
I have already seen about 7 of your videos today! Love your advice, your voice, your smile....love everything about you. Subscribed 💕
amazing thank you Perla!! appreciate your support and kind words :)
SAME HERE😃 & IM A NEW SUBSCRIBER 👏👏 I 💜MAT & IM LEARNING SO MUCH👏👏
You did what you have to do because your partner was with you. And I can not seem to impose something on you that you might not like. Ty...Gam. 😊❤
🤗
This video is insanely helpful and to the point, thank you for making it.
Glad it was helpful!
I love it when Mr. Teach you date put all the information note at the end of video. I mean single snapshot and you done with note for future cuz it's important to know how to communicate even when you are not dating.☺️
yesss so glad you enjoy the recaps I think theyre really importnat!
Omg ur videos are just amazing ❤..thank you!
That means so much to me, you are so welcome!!
Wholesome, kind advice. Positive vibes.
thanks so much I really appreciate that! exactly what im going for :)
Such a great upload, Matt!
Wonderful so glad you liked it!!
Ugh, on point Sir. Thank you. I gained something. 💯
so glad!
I like the tone of your voice when guidibg us on what to do. It's not irritating unlike other coaches they sounded like they're yelling or arguing. That's why I subscribed and love listening to all your vids Thank you for sharing this with us🙏
I appreciate that!
But why men is easy to let go of someone who really cares for them. They never value the relationship?
not every man is like that!
@@Mat_Shaffer i know. But why i always met a guy that in ready to give everything but it easy for him to let go the relationship we have. Yes po label yet but were both compatible in everything we do.
Ella pizon if he wants to end the relationship then you are definitely not compatible in everything. It’s difficult to see from somebody else’s perspective but if he feels the relationship is fundamentally not right, not what he wants, doesn’t feel like you’re right for each other etc then it they’ve got to be true to themselves. There are many different reasons. It doesn’t mean they necessarily don’t value the relationship. Listen carefully to their reasons for why they want to end and that should give you your answer.
@@relayne6609 I've experienced this myself. They shut down and want to cut you off.
@@relayne6609 cuz low self esteem
Just loved the "baby giraffe" example! Golden comparison!
Many thanks!
You are the BEST Mat ! You are perfect the way you are and you explain Everything sooooo BEAUTIFULLY. Thankyou for your generosity!!! 💝💚🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇
Your kind words touch my heart🙂
Extremely kind and clear messages. Thank you:-)
BOOM so welcome, appreciate this feedback :)
You lay everything out so well! Thank you for simplifying all of that and making it easy to understand! Btw, I was the 69th person to like your video ;) Thank you for all of your amazing advice! It helps so much!
69? You have a dirty mind for sure! ;P
HAHA love it!! so welcome!!
My biggest challenge about communicating with man is telling them about myself, my life, things that I do. I feel like like I am being selfish or self centered, so often I try to listen to them, I ask questions which also become frustrating for them as they say you are asking too many questions. I think I am going to use all of these tips.
Thank you, this is so helpful. You are phenomenal
Mat, Your teaching is amazingly authentic. Thank you for sharing your insights! I love your channel.
so so so welcome ym dear! deeply appreciate the feedback that's just what Im going for !
I 2ND THAT 🙌🙌🙌 & I 💜 MAT , HIS VIDEOS ARE AMAZING 🙌🙌🙌
The way you talk is sooooo calming
You are so sweet!
I have listened to a few of your videos which have been great. In this video it's like your lowering a makes ability like the lack intelligence to comprehend. What I get from this video is we need to narrate and explain situations, feelings, concerns to the male gender as if they are a small child who lack understanding. Men are capable of listening and following along if something sounds off they can chime in for clarity just as females do. It also let's the female know he does care and he is listening. In which she will really appreciate and feel closer and more trust for that man.
Typo sorry lowering a man's intelligence to understand and comprehend.
men are very intelligent! but they are simple too and generally not super sophisticated when it comes to emotional awareness (especially with womens emotions) so the clearer and simpler you can be the better :)
My husband and I have been married nearing 21 years dated 3 years prior. Just like any convos whether male or female explaining certain aspects of a conversation whether calm or debate happens. Many run into more issues when they lack the ability to be respectful and giving the other the respect to understand but clarify where needed. Many men don't like those longer serious conversations but both parties need to be open and actually listen to each other. Just don't go expecting uninterrupted convo if it is mid day and everyone is busy. Thanks for the reply.
This is so helpful, it's everything I've been learning through dating. Thank you
You're so welcome! Glad it was helpful.
You're very convincing, Mat. I become one of your fans. Simple insights given and should be considered for tackling some relationship issues - with those dumb men. Love from Malaysia 🌹
That's very sweet. Thanks a lot.
That's a great one Mat👏🌟👍
yesss thank you!!
So practical and useful, thanks
You're welcome! 🤗
6:44
Thank you for Amazing advise i love your channel, i use in practice to the men i admired, i told him one day i wanna get married someone like you who can stand with me till the sunset, i don't want to be the same page i said to him,than he say God will give you better than me.😁😁😁
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
Thanks sweet Man and Women deeper conaction
yesss you got it!!
Mat , your so sweet xx thank you for your tip.
so welcome :)
Another great and insightful video Mat! I took notes 📝 and learned a lot! Thanks again❗️
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you so much for these awesome tips, I really like to have a masculine perspective on this. I am taking this home for sure. Hopefully I remember when I need to remember....
YESS you got this!!
I 2ND THAT ☺
I Like Your Informative Videos.🌟 Keep Them coming. Happy New Year 2020🌟. 🙏 god bless
wonderful so glad you like them :) blessings to you!
ME TOO👏👏 I am in a new Relationship💞 and I'm learning. , FROM MAT I try to Watch as many videos as I can.
This is sound advice.
glad you think so! :)
Thank you Matt, this is a very interesting video, It will be applied to my man when he shows up, because I am single now lol..lol...lol..
so glad you enjoyed it! :)
Of course, this was very helpful to be reminded of how men and women think differently. Great job! Frankly, some examples of exactly how to phrase things would be super helpful too. I think maybe women (I) use too many words? What would be a good way to say something so a man gets it without feeling overwhelmed? Like, what would I say to a man With whom I’m involved but who doesn’t indicate how he feels about me yet it would be really helpful for me to know? If he’s not the type to openly express himself, he probably doesn’t know how to put the words together to say something. How does a woman model simple instruction to help him?
great question... it always helps to begin with sharing how YOU feel to create a vulnerable space, and then warmly and gently ask him how hes feeling... I may do another video on this!
Interesting .
Thanks for the video! What do you mean when you tell someone to "hold space for you"? Also I loved all your points just wish I could hear examples for each one to get a clear idea of what some things should sound like when communicating these things to a man.
ok great I will incorporate more examples in the next one! heres a video on holding space I did :) ruclips.net/video/DloPF4zugVU/видео.html
greatttt ideaaa 5th point..
so glad you liked it :)
Ooh thanks Mat! I really needed to hear this
I hope it helps.
Thank you!!
You're welcome!
Thank you Mat.
welcome!
Do you have a video on what to talk about on first dates. My convo skills suck nowadays
Thanks for sharing!
thank you, good advice
so welcome!
Thank you.😊
:)
Thanks for this information
❤️
My pleasure 😊
You ate awesome! Thank you! I need help with a man who has not had a relationship for 30 yrs
ARE AWESOME
Many thanks! 😉
You give them that goes in one ear out the other
not necessarily!
Yes neccesarily
Ty.😊
:)
wish your channel would be known more to women
Thanks for these! This is super helpful!
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Mr 👏
You are very welcome
thank you!
Glad you like it!
Thanks 😊
You are so welcome!
Communication gap....but thank you.😊
so welcome!
Super helpful!
Glad it was helpful!
Nice content
so glad you enjoyed it !
Mat my guy keeps following lots of different woman ...?? How do I tell him in around about way I don't like it....or should I just walk away from this kind of man...
Is he testing me...my boundaries??
We are both 50 not kids.
tell him vulnerably how it makes you feel :)
Ty.😴
🤗
I wonder if there are the same types of videos for men in regard to how women think and what we want? Or do they think we are only about monetary/material things? Does a man really care enough to try/investigate or is it all about "his" ego? It's curious why GOD made the sexes for very different if we are expected to live together, perhaps only to procreate? Love your videos.
so glad you enjoy my work! there are men who are about deeper reflection and healing, but there are many more women doing the work right now!
what do you think is a better way to say "hey i need to talk about something" so it doesnt dread on our men? really hope u asnwer, thank u!
How about: Hey, can we talk about something important?
After more than 20 years I tried to reconnect, surprise and communicate with my admirer that emotionally interested to me before. I was young and dont know how to handle the situation in my 20s so I turn down his request to come over at my house for a coffee. Now I remembered him and sent him goodies but he refused and return back to me. I message him, told him that I sent him surpeises and Knowing how he is now. He accepted my friend request immediately in Fb but he never replying my message . What he mean does he hates me.
Don’t give up on love sister!
JOIN MY FREE LOVE COURSE HERE (we start 8/9/21) - masteryofconnection.com
Hi Matt. I just found dr bradley nelsons Emotion code healing modality using applied kineseology to directly access the subconscious mind to immediately identify , become consciously aware of exactly when a bad charged emotion got stuck in our body/psyche that manidests as unwanted life circumstances, suffering or disease. Then it is released fully once and for all...and permantently! Then life begins manifesting differently from then on. No joke.
I personally took up to level 4.5 of full 5th level certification classes at a local massive hospital in a different nursing based healing modality called Healing Touch. It was effective but not "The Best", as it was complicated and very paperwork/charting intensive (nursing/lawyer approvable) therefore... it sucked. And it did not easily get clear direct answers from the clients subconsious or superconsious mind. They sadly never mentioned kinesiology.
You have probably heard of Reiki and other modalities. But I would love it if you have not already, just give Dr Bradleys modality a look because I just stumbled across it and it has had magical, instant and phenominal actual results in mine and extended families lives. Awareness opens up!
I would love to be able to see content reflecting this healing modalities effect within this relationship advice genre more and more. I know fbi/cia use kinesthetic responses to lie detect, like the basic "sway test". And muscle testing by proxy may become helpful to self test to ask if the person across from you on a date is a serial killer and get an accurate yes/no answer. Not kidding.
Our subconsiouse in the quantim field Already knows if someone is a good match for us or not immediately! It's our aware mind that has to painfully figure it out over time and with effort.
Basically. If we all are able to release the core trapped emotions that cause trouble from the time of our conception and yes (even prior/ancestral) then we will all be amazing partners for each other and people will connect with the right parters intuitively quicker and more accurately.
Thank you for your content. Thanks for reading this if you did.
powerful thank you for the share!!
Just act like you don't care
because as soon as you do he'll take advantage of you
enjoy your time together
Do Your Own Thing ... men only want what they can't have
don't put your eggs in his basket until he's ready to commit
Ty. Sleep😴
🤗
They r always right i'LL RATHER TALK TO MY DOG THEY WILL BE SO LOYAL
Thanks for sharing!
Dear Mat,
I would like to know how and what to do , in relationship with younger man but he is still attached to his girlfriend who died. Kindly advice
be patient and loving with him! and keep inviting him to release her (doesnt mean he has to forget her)
But i think sometimes if we tell a man we want something n so to take certain action to fulfil for us, it comes across being needy..emasculating..mommy-kind esp.when done repeatedly.
Eg.i would like to buy a dress, take me shopping. im hungry buy me food. I mean to say shouldn't we leave this part to men on how to get it for us whatever we asking for? your thoughts pls
its all about the difference between activation and assertion with requests! Check this out : ruclips.net/video/rOTUKcPfGNc/видео.html
Matt is it possible to have a friendship
With a man you were seeing and broke things w me? He’s been reaching out to me on and off, has not asked me out. But I want to reach out to him to see if we can develop a friendship and maybe ultimately something more. Can I txt him?
I mean it CAN happen but it's very rare... usually once you cross the line it's hard to go back. You can text him but no gaurantees that he's going to be open to friendship!
Mat Shaffer why do you think he is reaching out then? He’s being nice, asking about me ,work, my kids. We had an intimate relationship in the past. He is scared of a relationship bc he was divorced 2x. Maybe he wants to keep the lines on communication open Incase he wants to rekindle? How do you think I can keep him coming back w/o him thinking I want more or scaring him away?
@@WhatcanIsay2u he wants to see if you are available and he tests the water. I doubt he's looking for a friendship at this time, so don't let him waste his time. Maybe be upfront and ask him: "hey, I'm glad you are reaching out to me, but I want to be clear that I'm not romantically interested in you. If this is you have in mind..." or something like that.
Anouk C I know you’re right about that, but I do have feelings for him. I’m just letting him linger , I’m not giving into him, when he txt I answer back kindly but short , he has called I didn’t answer and he asked me to call and I didn’t . When he does reach out to me again and if he does ask me out I will ask him what his intentions are. I will tell him I can’t give you what you want. I will be your friend but can’t give you sex and goodbye. No more.
@@WhatcanIsay2u Ok, so you say you have feelings for him so that means eventually you still want a relationship with him? If you don't want a relationship, you should keep your distances for a while and date other guys. You may become friends but you need to heal first, then in the future you can be his friend.
Great keys
Thank you❤️
now.. if I could just find a man to talk to.. 🤔😄
Ummm so many my dear!!
hahahahha! 😂😂
:) helpful
so glad to hear that!
Your voice is good for the ASMR.. Try once..🤗
Maybe one day!😄
@@Mat_Shaffer you defnitely should👍💓
You make it seem as if men are innocent BUT BRO they're NOT so we don't need to be blind folded, we need to know deeper
I appreciate your opinion on this!
Thank you so much for your information you gave me I am going to do what you said I am going to cut him off I did last night and he's called me 36 x today all I did was keep blocking the numbers they have a rotor call that's how he gets different numbers so I just keep blocking them thank you for your advice and I still going to watch you
You're very welcome.
What the heck does a boundary mean?
that question speaks volumes! :)
Mat, Im not attracted to you at first but now the more I watch your vid...ohlala! And I'm even wanting to be single.😅
I so appreciate you saying that that was so sweet of you!
Couldve used this information 40 years ago. Oh well better late than never..lol
I hope it helps
Can I Connect A Married man Emotionally?
Respect the Marriage understand and acknowledge the commitment that the person has made to their spouse. It's crucial to respect the boundaries of their marriage. Thanks for sharing!
Girls really be like: this is plan A why I am mad this is plan B what u did that made me upset, this is plan C and D what I want from you.
Guys: OK but whatchu mean ?
They pretend they dont understand they can get any women they like but not anyone who loves them lol
@@edith324 ISTG THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
Don't look like I'm ever gonna get a man OR A DATE
are you putting yourself out there?
@@Mat_Shaffer I don't know how so no I'm not
A wise n loving nan knowing what partner want. Thank u for imfo interested messages . Both man n woman God bless .
Love your eyes! Thank you!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
Ty.😊
🤗
Thank you.😊
:)