Become Unforgettable to Him (stand out from the others)

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  • Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024

Комментарии • 661

  • @Mat_Shaffer
    @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +55

    → Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting next month! masteryofconnection.com/

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +8

      Come join the party! :)

    • @amandasoler9327
      @amandasoler9327 4 года назад

      I am in a relationship very far away across the other side in europe problem pandemic 7 hour difference. Please give me simple examples of questions to ask allready in. Four months he said i am perfect asked i travel there thx you have helped a great deal want a permanent relationship long term

    • @jalianamala6690
      @jalianamala6690 4 года назад

      Hi

    • @beverleyaustin2763
      @beverleyaustin2763 4 года назад +1

      Mat Shaffer ysystsssyyss ys

    • @marianned.3724
      @marianned.3724 3 года назад

      0000

  • @2967_
    @2967_ 3 года назад +789

    I actually stopped seeing someone because I felt too strongly for him. I could not deal with the feeling of being extremely attracted to him. He was doing the pull back thing. I recognized it, stopped it quickly. It was so freeing to release a really attractive man who plays games. I got my confidence and power back. I exercised self control. It is so powerful.

    • @la381
      @la381 2 года назад +11

      🤛

    • @phoebephoebs6548
      @phoebephoebs6548 2 года назад +20

      Yes im
      In a situation like that right now , but if he’s a high value man I feel that we must put in the work and yes playing the game of I don’t care , works great .

    • @joye3357
      @joye3357 Год назад +33

      I just did the same and you are right, it felt so good to be the one who held the power this time.around. I was able to detach easily and am so happy I did because just a couple of weeks later a good one showed up on my doorstep and if I would have still been with the one I just got rid of, I would have never met him.

    • @haewillph1646
      @haewillph1646 Год назад +11

      Going through this now, so I also have to pull back while I can

    • @kathyramos2924
      @kathyramos2924 Год назад +20

      I went to something similar .. I call his shyt off.. I’m too old to play games🤷‍♀️

  • @rosenblau
    @rosenblau 4 года назад +562

    1. Be unattached of the outcome of the relationship/date. Release outcome dependence by being present and curious without pushing anything: this liberates him from being responsible for your happiness and makes him feel safe and attached.
    2. Inspire him to take action by a cycle of positive invitations using feeling statements followed by space and trust in him to step up to do what makes you happy.
    3. Honor his "heroes journey". Cheer him on and show acknowledgment, respect, admiration and deep curiosity for what he is doing in his life/career/passions.
    4. Be his emotional sanctuary: an outlet for his feelings where he can be vulnerable and put down his walls. Do this by being vulnerable yourself, by asking questions and through physical touch.
    5. Ask better and deeper questions that challenge his worldview, evoke stories and make him connect with his passions at a deep level.
    To avoid: pretzeling, manipulating by leaning back and withholding attention or affection, using seduction, keeping things surface level.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +38

      YES beautifully laid out! :)

    • @carieyounginsurance
      @carieyounginsurance 4 года назад +8

      @@Jhdjdld You can't - this is not the right man for you : ( sorry someone needs to say it! Good luck

    • @christopherzobel357
      @christopherzobel357 4 года назад +1

      Thanks,!, ✌🏻🙏🏻

    • @melindahernandz7942
      @melindahernandz7942 4 года назад +9

      your so smart and you make it seem so simple. i wish i found you a long time ago!

    • @CrystalDatingCoach
      @CrystalDatingCoach 4 года назад +7

      @@Jhdjdld Sorry to be Blunt. But you don't seem to have Anything!! 5 years!! Still don't feel Special and Adored?? Sorry. It's never going to happen... With him. Move on.

  • @CrystalDatingCoach
    @CrystalDatingCoach 4 года назад +133

    Dissappear sometimes. How's he going to miss you if you Never go away! 😘

    • @AnnaBurdach
      @AnnaBurdach 2 года назад +3

      That is very true 👍

    • @ivanrodriguez268
      @ivanrodriguez268 2 года назад +14

      I disagree with this, if you disappear, another one will come in. Trust me, other girls are waiting in line.

    • @SurferGirl3651
      @SurferGirl3651 2 года назад +7

      @@ivanrodriguez268 ah but if you use the technique he'll be thinking about you!!! Even though he's with the new one...so there's the proof of this theory you've become unforgettable!

    • @MH2206.
      @MH2206. Год назад +24

      @@ivanrodriguez268 if he moves too quickly with another woman, he was never interested in you.

    • @nospoon1111
      @nospoon1111 6 месяцев назад +1

      I don't want to have to play games, I'm too old for that. I just want to be my authentic self, if he needs someone to play hard to get games, he's not for me.

  • @drsarahprincessm9194
    @drsarahprincessm9194 3 года назад +66

    Th best relationship is be u
    Never pretend
    Accept each other th way u r
    N it will b cool
    N put God first

  • @missbubblemaker26
    @missbubblemaker26 4 года назад +131

    I am a 33 year old woman living alone (lost both parents through the years i was their caretaker for many years, have, one sibling who lives in another country) so i live on my own now during this pandemic and it has made me realize so many things about myself and about self-reliance that i feel like i am on a hero's journey myself. And i wish i had a man who admires, sees, respects and acknowledges my journey as much as i do his.

    • @sab4895
      @sab4895 4 года назад +23

      You're a brave soul...I hope that God brings you the perfect man as a gift for what you've done for your parents.

    • @A1dakz
      @A1dakz 4 года назад +9

      bless you

    • @SodiumSyndicate
      @SodiumSyndicate Год назад

      You want a man who admires, sees, respects you? - Are you a VIRGIN?

  • @andreahoopes4429
    @andreahoopes4429 4 года назад +119

    This is one of the best relationship advice for women videos I have seen on RUclips. It’s strong and built on solid principles that do work 😁

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +4

      amazing really appreciate this feedback!!

    • @keishalenoir9777
      @keishalenoir9777 2 года назад +2

      Mr Mat I Love your advice it is helping me each day I have watched you on RUclips and I enjoy it Thanks woman it helps 🙏🥰🙏🙏🙏

  • @iknowwhatsup2880
    @iknowwhatsup2880 4 года назад +140

    Just enjoy each and every interaction with people whenever possible.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +4

      EXACTLY

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 года назад

      I know what's up.... I agree much..
      thNk you.. 👍🏿

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 года назад +1

      exactly what I'm trying to do... I mean planning to do🤔🤐🤐

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 года назад +1

      thanks... got to go!!!

    • @vicrollon3140
      @vicrollon3140 3 года назад +3

      Agreed 100%. Exactly... correct! Enjoy each other everytime. Bless everyone who are here - 🌷

  • @alfreda2711
    @alfreda2711 4 года назад +194

    I’d say just be yourself don’t lie or try to be somebody that your really not. Have fun🙂

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +12

      YES all that is so important!!

    • @CrystalDatingCoach
      @CrystalDatingCoach 4 года назад +10

      Sorry. That doesn't work. You can't be "yourself" you can't call him every time you want to hear his voice. You can't always be available. You can't. Because you will Bore him. Men like a Challenge.

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад

      @Abundance Locally lmfao

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад +1

      I don't want a man who has a lot of women who wants him. Maybe I should get a fat bald one. 😂

    • @dianneciresi6324
      @dianneciresi6324 3 года назад +1

      What if he's the emotionally unavailable type who's inconsistant with his attention on you.

  • @paula-elizabeth
    @paula-elizabeth 4 года назад +18

    Women go on a Heroine’s Journey too!!!!🎯🦸🏻‍♀️💫😃🌟

  • @crose55082
    @crose55082 3 года назад +17

    I watched this video a year ago. I finally attracted my first high value man. I was myself and not nervous. I was surprised at the end of the date he was looking forward to a second date. He also sent me the first text after the date. He said he like my positive energy. I told life is to short for negativity and I know I am in charge of my own happiness

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +3

      Yay! You deserve a great guy😊

  • @npkrn6764
    @npkrn6764 4 года назад +139

    As Coco Chanel said "To be irreplaceable, one must always be different".
    I'm inter changing irreplaceable with your word "unforgettable".
    As a woman, I've obviously had many women friends and have seen how they behave or respond to men. Most of the time, their efforts have fallen flat. Therefore, I've usually taken the opposite approach with men in my life and its usually worked.
    Women somewhere along the way started chasing men. And when the men run - they chase more which is ridiculous and never works long term.
    You discuss making invitations... I think there is a line that most women have a hard time staying away from, which is being invitational and vulnerable without being aggressive or chasing. It's a very tough balance to navigate.
    We should never give more than we are receiving. If you give and it is not reciprocated, BACK OFF! Don't do what the majority of women will do which is to push harder.
    What Mat is saying here makes sense for a man who is ready for a mature, adult relationship; but not all men are ready. You'll know which type he is by doing what Mat suggests because if he doesn't match your interest or ask YOU anything about YOU...then you'll know.
    *Just thought I'd take your thought process a bit farther.. I'm thinking, however, that you agree!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +7

      well put thanks for the deep insight!

    • @eunicegantt3069
      @eunicegantt3069 4 года назад +2

      So True!!

    • @npkrn6764
      @npkrn6764 4 года назад +4

      @@eunicegantt3069 yes Eunice.... I was lucky enough to pay attention while observing some of my girlfriends chase men in vain when I was younger. I actually had one guy admit to me later that he was actually afraid of one of my friends back then - 😳 haha! I know she wasn't dangerous but he was still freaking out and any attraction he might of had for her in the beginning was completely obliterated by her starting to chase him. Lessons learned!

    • @evamaria644
      @evamaria644 4 года назад +2

      @@npkrn6764 Absolutely, it pushes men away, learned the hard way, however, I used to do most of these things in a relationship and found the man saying I knew him better than anyone but the truth is I didn't know how I got to him. But I always want to know the person but sometimes that can be too much for a man to handle if he's not used to it or doesn't expect it from you.

    • @elusiva9389
      @elusiva9389 3 года назад +1

      Right, if he's not ready it won't work. That's the sad truth. Not asking questions about me is a theme i have seen in EU men. I naturally do a lot of this stuff, but I'm older, and they are too. Some really dig in to their habits, lifestyle, and comfortable with their ability to pull any women they want, which is addictive and hard to give up, I exchange for the hard work of accepting someone warts and all, and committing indefinitely. They are usually WAAAAY far from that thought process. This is still GREAT advice ...thanks Matt!

  • @lizz9840
    @lizz9840 Год назад +10

    Thank you for supporting more women who believe in their womanhood and love. There are so many broken cynical cold women out there who have no idea how to love anymore and they are angry and judging others that are in relationships. We need to revert their pain by educating them, they can always find love no matter their age.

  • @sweetgrrl38
    @sweetgrrl38 4 года назад +51

    I always look forward to listening to your videos because you speak so passionately with SO MUCH VALUE in each videos! I can see you writing an amazing book just on this ONE video 🙌🏼 By the way, do you do any live group events for women? I’d buy your book and or attend your live event! Anyone else agree with me? ❤️

    • @bellaitalia817
      @bellaitalia817 4 года назад +3

      Definitely!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +7

      Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words my dear!! Im am committed to STARTING LIVE EVENTS in 2020 (AND write my first book), so I will absolutely keep you posted on the schedule

    • @sophiabelladi
      @sophiabelladi 4 года назад

      Mat Shaffer
      Hola Mat, what is your advice in dating a much older man?
      Thank you sooo much for your insights💕

  • @denisebowen7498
    @denisebowen7498 4 года назад +14

    Hi Mat! This lesson was excellent. While giving the man space and asking him questions about his work his life and what he aspires to do in his life, he feels relaxed and wants to talk about it all. Asking deeper questions. Let him get excited. He will open up and think that this woman really is interested in my life and you should be.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      YES you totally get it!! thank you for sharing!!

  • @sandrafoxworth7547
    @sandrafoxworth7547 3 года назад +15

    I absolutely LOVE how you explain things, Mat!! You rock!

  • @nebulanigrimleonis3883
    @nebulanigrimleonis3883 3 года назад +8

    I feel like I just learned how to beat the game. This is NEXT LEVEL info.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  8 месяцев назад

      Thanks so much for your feedback!

  • @Mat_Shaffer
    @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +11

    QUESTION OF THE DAY - What have you done in the past to be unforgettable to the man in your life? What did it inspire in him?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      look forward to these responses!

    • @cindymerryweather1318
      @cindymerryweather1318 4 года назад

      Mat Shaffer don’t judge
      Be more positive

    • @Carvegirl
      @Carvegirl 4 года назад +3

      If I was unforgettable I wouldn't be single 🤔😅
      Jokes aside, I'm just working on improving myself, have self-discipline, controlling my emotions, be grounded, have strong morals and values, being energetic fun and exciting. Make the man be the man and me be feminine with my energy. Also make them laugh is key. 🤗

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 4 года назад

      I became reactive due to His closeness w a co-worker. lesson learned over a 3yr exit. Very hard.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 4 года назад +1

      Endeavor to listen. Bring out the Best in Your Man & take physical & emotional cues to enhance His bond with You. Be a True Friend 💎

  • @dinayando2849
    @dinayando2849 4 года назад +26

    This is a truly GREAT video Mat! Please keep up the inspiring, realistic and truthful content you put forth!! Much thanks and gratitude.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      amazing so glad you enjoyed it!! appreciate the feedback

    • @dinayando2849
      @dinayando2849 4 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer Looking forward to it!

  • @attiliadin
    @attiliadin 4 года назад +10

    Just beautiful... no manipulation! Love your videos. 👍🌹

  • @danitarhea1036
    @danitarhea1036 4 года назад +67

    I just set a guy free because he wouldn't move any further than just texting me and asking me to come over in the evenings ...Yet all the while claiming he was "addicted to me"...In six weeks, we only went out for our initial meet and greet. I followed all advice you guys offered and quite frankly, naturally follow techniques as I always have. Finally grew weary of his texting approach and finally asked him to join me for a walk on the beach to the which, he never responded. Then he texted me the following week as if I had never broached the subject. After careful thought, I answered back with a message removing myself from his equation and wished him all the success in his search by stating that I felt we were seeking different outcomes between us as I am seeking more than just a texting buddy or hookup. Right or wrong, I needed this to move away from such a status. I also let him know I liked him but would not be reduced to this level of relationship.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +6

      wonderful share thank you! :)

    • @annalore5513
      @annalore5513 4 года назад +4

      Good grief. I am shocked
      You waited that long. The red flag was there from the get go..u refused to see it. You need to work on your own self respect.

    • @kati1017
      @kati1017 4 года назад +16

      I think she did good! Maybe she's not used to users like him.

    • @kati1017
      @kati1017 4 года назад +11

      @@annalore5513 and you're so perfect? She did good!

    • @lourdesgoico1502
      @lourdesgoico1502 4 года назад +7

      @@annalore5513 do not say that, she did great. does not have to be with self respect. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. Be nice

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 4 года назад +9

    Wow, Mat...this is so helpful. None of it sounds stupid or "woo woo," either. It all sounds doable. I'll definitely try it with high-quality guys.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      BEAUTIFUL thank you for the feedback appreciate it!! You can totally do this!

  • @AngelicaDXB
    @AngelicaDXB 4 года назад +27

    OMG a lawyer that knows how to handle personal relationships? That's a totally new breed.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +8

      haha why do you think I quit? ;)

    • @biruleibiruleinow7749
      @biruleibiruleinow7749 4 года назад +3

      As a lawyer too, what we most do is handle personal relationships, honey. Believe me 🤣

    • @barbieblue3336
      @barbieblue3336 3 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer never "quit." Move on 😁

  • @deetran5085
    @deetran5085 4 года назад +8

    Mat, You are awesome! It’s important to share vulnerability to have a real connection. I love your channel.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      Thanks so much Dee Tran! 🙏❤️

  • @delphinesaez6453
    @delphinesaez6453 4 года назад +36

    Nope... Won't spend hours thinking about how to be loved..... I'd rather love myself.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +7

      lets love everyone including and especially ourselves! :)

    • @kati1017
      @kati1017 4 года назад +3

      I agree. So glad to enjoy loving myself and God!

    • @mixedchickULike
      @mixedchickULike 4 года назад +1

      Gets lonely though.

    • @kati1017
      @kati1017 4 года назад +1

      @@mixedchickULike not for me. I love it.

  • @kateharty1098
    @kateharty1098 4 года назад +8

    Thank you for the incredible video! Just what I needed!! When you say to use invitation and space to empower him what ways could you use this as a tool to bring him closer to you?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +2

      fantastic so glad you liked it! Im gonna do a whole video outlining more ways to implement the cycle - where do YOU think it would apply in your relationship??

  • @picklepirate
    @picklepirate Год назад +5

    I love this. We should use these tips for everyone in our life. Be authentic and actually, genuinely be interested in being supportive and curious about the other person- both their space and letting go of expectations of outcomes of other people.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +1

      Thanks so much for your feedback!

    • @picklepirate
      @picklepirate Год назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer thank you, Mat! This video was so great!

  • @jenniferlorence1950
    @jenniferlorence1950 3 года назад +5

    If I have to think About All of this, I will Just Screw it Up, I rather be MYSELF.

  • @heathermclean-smith5893
    @heathermclean-smith5893 4 года назад +8

    Love this video, Mat! Wonderful insights and ideas I will authentically use in my life! Thank you again for your great and powerful video’s! ❤️

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      YES love it!! you are so welcome, delighted to support you :)

  • @kellb9283
    @kellb9283 4 года назад +9

    Mat says “y’all.” He must be Southern or has been in the South long term at some point.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +9

      HAHA I just spent a YEAR in Texas soooo yeah I brought that home with me :)

    • @kellb9283
      @kellb9283 4 года назад

      I thought the latter. Not quite enough twang to be the real deal. Points for using that wonderful contraction. It is underutilized

  • @bellaitalia817
    @bellaitalia817 4 года назад +9

    Hello Mat! Thank you SO much for your content. I have gained such a wealth of knowledge about relationships from your videos. I have a question for you and I would be forever grateful if you could tell me your opinion. I met my boyfriend about 3 months ago and it has been intense, I feel a deep connection to him and everything has gone great. I was a bit confused about our "label" for a bit there until one day he introduced me as his girlfriend. That's great, I was very happy (and I asked him about it to clarify), but now I want us to have a day that we use to celebrate our month and year (if we get there) anniversaries. How can I ask him about this without seeming needy? Is it too soon? Please help!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +5

      I would bring it up to him within the context of a feeling statement around the title he's put on your... something along the lines of "It felt so good to hear you call me your girlfriend the other day! Im curious, what do you think/consider our "anniversary day" is? Our first date?" and see what he says! With the right energy it wont seem needy at all :)

  • @jenniferlorence1950
    @jenniferlorence1950 3 года назад +11

    OH PLEASE, Most Men these days, if You ONLY Say "Hi" "Hello" to Him they immediately think that you are "Desperate".

    • @odelmisfelipe2899
      @odelmisfelipe2899 3 года назад

      Right..?

    • @empressironbladder8942
      @empressironbladder8942 3 года назад

      Hmmm....that Hasn’t been my experience. Many men are surprised and glad when you say hello to them, in the right setting, and with the right approach. There’s always going to be ‘uppity’ ones, but that’s a GOOD thing, because it shows you right away where their head is at.

    • @MzTeriberry
      @MzTeriberry 4 месяца назад

      I think that's why he started.. HIGH VALUE MEN

  • @tiffanyfox5187
    @tiffanyfox5187 4 года назад +3

    Yo Mat, off topic, you ever notice how you crinkle your forehead when you talk lol not hating. I do it too, and since I've realized I do it, I am obsessed lol some people rarely do it, some people can't stop doing. Completely a subconscious thing, not bad at all.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      Thanks so much Tiffany Fox haha nope I didnt notice that 🙏❤️

  • @SewDiva5691
    @SewDiva5691 4 года назад +6

    Hi, Mat! I watched your recent Monday’s with Mat on FB. BTW Congrats for accomplishing 3 years 🎉🎉🎉!! I’m learning so much about me & men from your videos. I would love to see your very 1st video on Monday’s with Mat. Can you share that link here on RUclips?
    Happy New Year 2020 to you & yours!🎇🎇🎇

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +2

      BOOM thanks my dear! HA you wanna see the orig mondays with Mat?! here ya go :) facebook.com/IamMatShaffer/videos/vb.5218651/10108826987353433/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab

    • @SewDiva5691
      @SewDiva5691 4 года назад

      Mat Shaffer Thank You So much for sharing, Mat! 💥Wow!💥 Your first vid touched my heart so much. Why? A dear friend of mine is going through the self-loathing & blaming himself. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I can tell he’s hurting inside. I feel helpless, but he knows I’m here for him & his daughter.
      Mat, I feel So proud of you! 🤩You’ve come a long way. You are changing many lives around the 🌎 including mine. I wish you continued success. Cheers!🍾🥂 I’m So grateful I found your channel in 2019. 🙏 😄 This is Jocelyn from sunny California☀️🌴🌈 Take care, Mat! ❤️

  • @hevoskuiskaaja2008
    @hevoskuiskaaja2008 4 года назад +12

    This means my ex was a low value man

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      hmm interesting

    • @danitarhea1036
      @danitarhea1036 4 года назад

      lol...mine tooooo :)

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 года назад

      agree.... 🆗🌟💯🙄😊many thanks. Sabdra H...
      .

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 года назад

      Dk Dk how. what to call him
      don't even know his name...... oh my!!!
      "

    • @leeannajohnson1008
      @leeannajohnson1008 4 года назад

      😂😂😂yep

  • @jenkins1
    @jenkins1 11 месяцев назад +1

    really good advice. tho i hope not all ladies are going to learn that because then there's perhaps no longer that easy to stand out lol. competition between women for a man's attention is an emotionally cruel thing for a woman's heart to be participating in. especially if the outcome is not sure at all but you're still catching feelings and attraction, and then having this one-by-one time with someone and also someone else getting to do just the same. i haven't even been in a relationship so perhaps i haven't got a clear view on this stuff, but still since i've always been "the third" who's eyeing people i like, i kinda sense how sour all of this feels. i wish there was a way to avoid this polluted cold competition between women around desireable men. i wish relationships worked in a way that everyone who's having mutual emotional ties with The Mister are getting their share. and not that one Mrs snips him away and that's it.

  • @hdasfk1716
    @hdasfk1716 4 года назад +16

    I guess I’ll do better next time. I finally met a guy I liked a lot but never really been thought how a healthy relationship works. But I did everything right except the comfort part. But it’s nice to know that I’ve healed and grown enough to attract high value men. Growing and developing. Great video!

  • @Jennyshengm
    @Jennyshengm 4 года назад +5

    So nice! Just what I m experiencing and experimenting atm. So resonates with your this video. Thank you Mat🥰

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      so wonderful thank you for sharing !

  • @vardhinir6221
    @vardhinir6221 4 года назад +7

    I have watched many relationship advise videos on RUclips, but yours is just perfect! Mainly because of your voice 👌 it's soo soothing and wanted us to keep on hearing it🤗 the way u present with your expressions and body language, it is more realistic and lively! 👏 No dramas no fake creativity.. 👍 good job!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      DEEPLY appreciate that !! I really work to use my voice and delivery as a way to create safety and connection in my videos :)

  • @jenteschoof
    @jenteschoof 4 года назад +6

    Mat, I heard from an other dating coach that asking emotional questions can scare men off, because than we force them to be vulnerable and that could be received as violating their boundaries. How do you think about that? I loved hearing your view about asking deep questions, because I love going in depth haha. But yeah I don't wanna violate men their emotional boundaries..

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +5

      youll be surprised how many men are open to vulnerability if you bring it to them in the right energy :)

    • @jenteschoof
      @jenteschoof 4 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer Wow that's really interesting! Im so glad to hear this.. You mean with a warm soft intention?

    • @leonab545
      @leonab545 3 года назад

      That’s what I am curious about too. I love it when men are emotionally open because it means they trust me, and I can build a lasting connection only when they let their guard down... was wondering why some hold back... Mat’s insight helps!

  • @almostafarm6394
    @almostafarm6394 4 года назад +4

    Is the "Hero's Journey" a book? Where is that information expanded?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      its a concept explored deeply by joseph campbell.... look it up theres lots of stuff on it :)

  • @drvren030
    @drvren030 Год назад +1

    i think people should watch this video keeping in mind that these tips are just different ways for YOU to be able to show YOUR TRUE personality in the best way possible to the high value man, in order for him to do the same. You should be actually trying to look for a real relationship as a high-value woman yourself, with a high-value man.
    This can be misleading, because you can't just memorize these tips and use them to "score" him if you just see him as someone you can use and manipulate for your benefit.
    Ideally, this video is for a high-value person who wants to be in a genuine, honest relationship with a high value man they saw, but don't know how to let their true nature present itself well.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +1

      I appreciate your opinion on this, Lekh C.🙌❤️

  • @keishalenoir9777
    @keishalenoir9777 2 года назад +3

    I been in love with this loving man since I was 16 years old and I'm 40 now he is 41and I'm so ready to Merry him he asked me 5 months ago he is my best friend and always been but at times I had let fear get the best of me and I learning how to let all that go with faith Amen💖 Amen🥰 ❤️ Loving my journey with the both of us thanks Mat🙏🌟

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!

  • @jeniferrenteria5989
    @jeniferrenteria5989 4 года назад +4

    I love your channel! And I love your eloquence and the energy with which you convey all your advice!! Thank you!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      wonderful thank you for that feedback!! 😊❤️

  • @mkinko15
    @mkinko15 4 года назад +4

    This is one of the best advise videos I've seen in 6 months of looking often. Packed with good content! Thank you! Amazing work!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      Thank you so much Ginger Howard, your beautiful words truly touch my heart! It's my honor and purpose to support you 🙏❤️

  • @HeartOfTheSource
    @HeartOfTheSource 2 года назад +2

    I've done all of these things naturally. It hasn't made any difference.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      I appreciate your comment on this!

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 4 года назад +3

    Thank you so much truly video I always look lesterning to your video Man high value.I appreciate you.I am lucky women Happy lovely day

  • @ritahnakiswa1371
    @ritahnakiswa1371 4 года назад +4

    Those ones who put dislikes i think they nolonger have love coz your words are so real,touching,and helpful☺

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      Thanks so much Ritah Nakiswa! 🙏❤️

    • @ritahnakiswa1371
      @ritahnakiswa1371 4 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer your welcome and thank reading our comments

  • @TonyaGrant-s4h
    @TonyaGrant-s4h 3 месяца назад +1

    He is really attentive to me.This something he never been before. I respect what his dreams are. He is a musician and that part of him really excites me. I like to go to his gigs but I don't invade this part of his life. I will support him in everything he does. I bought a keyboard just recently. He was so excited about this, I told him that I want to make music with him. This made his eyes tear up and I recieved the most passionate kiss I have ever been given by him. He is on cloud nine knowing that I want make music with him. Things shifted into a more positive connection to him. He can't wait to get started, I can't either.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 месяца назад

      Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts! So happy this hit the spot for you. 😉

  • @backineurope6680
    @backineurope6680 4 года назад +3

    Any examples or list of deeper questions that we might ask our man. Thank you

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      Ill do another video on this :)

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 4 года назад +2

    Oh such powerful words thoughts love its everything and I feel your love massage effective my heat come to me for loving care i fell so great full and blessed to have love of my alway my side

  • @ivanrodriguez268
    @ivanrodriguez268 2 года назад +2

    I think this applies to gay men too. I tend to be like this and I'm not lying when I say that I have been proposed to several times by high quality men. I didnt understand why and now I do. I'm just genuinely curious and I admire the passion a lot of men have towards their jobs and hobbies. I also don't have an expectation about them at all and I always help them feel safe to communicate their emotions with me. Their secrets are safe with me. ;) So this is very true. I don't know how this guy figured it out but it's ON POINT.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thank you! I really appreciate your opinion on this ❤❤❤

  • @briana14333
    @briana14333 4 года назад +35

    Yes! One of the first points was the best: let him know that YOU'RE the type of woman that HE is worthy of being in a relationship with.
    Great tips, Mat. Thank you!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      Happy to help, Briana 🙌❤️

  • @dannym6552
    @dannym6552 4 года назад +4

    cool, a bit too close for the camera, take two steps back :)

  • @sitmengchue4077
    @sitmengchue4077 Год назад +2

    It takes a high quality woman -- confident, intelligent, empathetic, commonsensical, caring -- to follow your excellent tips.(Actually, it's not easy to be a man.) THANKS!

  • @deetran5085
    @deetran5085 4 года назад +4

    Mat, I love your advice and insights. Thank you for sharing! I believe the best thing is to be yourself, be authentic, be curious and be present in the moment.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      love this feedback my dear!!

  • @hunny585
    @hunny585 4 года назад +3

    Mat i have a question. If a man is earning less does it make him low-value? If he is ticking all boxes in other areas by showing care, protection etc..does moneyy realllly matter then?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +4

      absolutely not, value is determined by so many factors :) a big part of value is what YOU consider valuable, so if income isn';t a big deal for you it shouldnt devalue him

    • @francinegray9383
      @francinegray9383 4 года назад

      Hina B. if he is overall smart, caring, protective, kind and has other great "man" qualities, I would overlook the income -- hopefully it doesn't affect how he views the relationship. And, perhaps in the future it would change.

  • @annamurchie8384
    @annamurchie8384 4 года назад +4

    Point number 5: Ask better questions. This is definitely worth doing. It shows creativity and intelligence.

  • @paula-elizabeth
    @paula-elizabeth 4 года назад +2

    Excellent Video Mat! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💫😃🌟

  • @MissChievous911
    @MissChievous911 Год назад +1

    This remind me of How To Be A Good Wife 1950s edition.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks so much for your feedback!

  • @CL-ii9cx
    @CL-ii9cx 3 года назад +2

    Hi-quality advise!! I appreciate you very much for bringing this program to us to share!!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Thanks so much my dear! ❤️

  • @freshy2046
    @freshy2046 3 года назад +2

    High-quality, mature, no game-playing approach!! However, I guess the advice is applied to both really mature and evolved men and women too!

  • @nr9269
    @nr9269 Год назад +1

    This is excellent advice. I just want to know what the men will give to us in return? Honestly it seems like we are getting the shorter end of this stick

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks so much for your feedback!

  • @fuw2523
    @fuw2523 4 года назад +4

    Amazing again! I like how accurate all these tips are, thank you Mat 🙏♥️

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      wonderful so glad you enjoyed it ! :)

  • @funtimes829
    @funtimes829 3 года назад +2

    Lol, I would like to know these guy personal love life.

  • @attiliadin
    @attiliadin 4 года назад +2

    Mat, thank you. I'm dating such a man...what you advise is very insightful. You are brilliant! Thank you. ❤

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      Thanks so much attilia marcon! 🙏❤️

  • @monkeymind3917
    @monkeymind3917 3 года назад +2

    Wow, Mat, thank you- you’re a beautiful soul 😍 thank you for this amazing information! Connection is what I’m searching for and this is a treasure trove of information to help get me there. I’m so grateful!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Wonderful! Happy I could be of help.

  • @rietta1166
    @rietta1166 4 года назад +3

    Thankyou, very insightful.

  • @shootergal5
    @shootergal5 4 года назад +2

    How to DO these with a new person? So you're in the meat of connecting and all the fun new stuff, HOW? It's so hard to toss yourself out there sometimes, how can I as a shy lady, get this ball rolling? 😁🎷🎸🥳

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +2

      relax and trust yourself! What fears come up for you around connecting deeper with him? :)

    • @shootergal5
      @shootergal5 4 года назад +1

      Well.... I've been through a LOT the past 5 years from laying the last of my family down to being in an abusive relationship that ended me and my kiddos living in our car. I've done a LOT of healing and inner work, and this guy?? He melts me from the inside out and I don't even know his name... We're in the same circle briefly almost every day, and no matter what... He's on my brain. I'm so afraid to start over to begin with. That in itself, I'd a huge step for me that I'm ready enough to want to try... And I've watched and listened to the tips and I take it all in, now fearing I may be too much for many, just with my past 5 years alone... 👀

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 4 года назад +2

    Yeah deep conaction too I love video Awesome both amazing

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      Amazing Hoili Swu love hearing that! Congrats on the breakthrough 🙌

  • @AngelDust33374
    @AngelDust33374 4 года назад +3

    I got a question OK I'm a very shy person so how I do I flirt with a guy without being so shy

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      a smile. a gentle comment. you dont need to be too direct!

    • @AngelDust33374
      @AngelDust33374 4 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer OK I will try

    • @leonab545
      @leonab545 3 года назад

      Also shy but learned to accept it and actually not see it as an obstacle, just make the effort to feel good about yourself, whatever insecurities just let them go... one tip I heard of is to think of something fun you like to do, so when things should get tense you can make your body more relaxed

  • @renoaczhary1232
    @renoaczhary1232 4 месяца назад

    I gave him space then why he turned his attention to other woman? I gave space because of everyday communication its draining. And even for myself i dont want to invest too much but he turned his attention to someone else. I am passionate woman im very into photography and i play instrument and best in cooking. I focus on myself but still not works. He rather want someone else.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 месяца назад

      Don’t give up on love sister!

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 4 года назад +2

    Wow Guy very attractions your voice president of the women thank you so much I love you sweetheart

  • @TheAttractionTriggers
    @TheAttractionTriggers 7 месяцев назад +1

    *We loved with a love that was more than love.*

  • @lottaaurell
    @lottaaurell 2 года назад +1

    I would love it if a man treated me exactly like this. And if he appreciated my hero’s journey that would be so sexy.

  • @ruthgrey1683
    @ruthgrey1683 Год назад

    Maybe I'm just slow but if (#1) Men don't want the responsibility of "being" a woman's happiness... Isn't (#2) contradicting? Because her happiness is laying solely on how he handles said responsibility...?

  • @lisaquinlan1292
    @lisaquinlan1292 4 года назад +2

    Another Great Video Mat! In doing this, will he honor what we need and ask us what we are passionate about?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      yes he very likely will!! You are activating him to ask you similar questions :)

  • @KathleenJ-d5y
    @KathleenJ-d5y 3 месяца назад

    Breaking into his mind by expertly knocking down his psychological walls and making him tingle with feelings of pleasure, means you're doing it right. There are many so called "canned phrases" to make it happen, for example go’ogling something like Celestine Dessike's Words of Desire was the perfect formula for me

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 месяца назад

      Thanks for your thoughtful comment! If you're debating whether it's the right time to date again, our 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' quiz can offer some clarity. 😊 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

  • @galaxythree4653
    @galaxythree4653 2 месяца назад

    RE: Reply to your nice invitation for your classes to dating younger men:
    Not on the fence Matt. All men are two year olds or four year olds. Older women with children know this and can wrap any guy of any age inside out with a little psychology.
    There are society lables for people who date more than 6 months to a year outside their own age group. Those lables are not so kind and generally used behind a couples back in whispers. With that knowledge, how emotionally damaged would someone be to be a Cougar Momma or a Toy Boy? Those are the polite lables. These are not healthy adult relationships. Nothing in your videos discribe insight to healthy adult attachments. Healthy adults don't plan play dates and sleepovers. They schedual responsibilities with vacations and self care. Yup!! You deffinatly remind me of most attorneys I have known. California attorneys!
    What does your Momma say? Not the momma you are dating. I had a curiosity when I saw your channel after having had way too many recent approaches by really young men.
    These types of relationships are for a season. A little more than a one night stand but extreamly dangerous to both parties. People don't need classes for this type of life. They need classes to break free of it. Some people need maturity and responsibility classes.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 месяца назад

      Thank you for your honest feedback. It’s important to hear different perspectives, and I appreciate you sharing yours.

  • @SodiumSyndicate
    @SodiumSyndicate Год назад

    She : How to be Unforgettable to Him & stand out from the other girls.
    God : Be a VIRGIN & save yourself for marriage - else you are only worth pumping & dumping.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      I appreciate your opinion on this!

  • @shakirahassan9741
    @shakirahassan9741 4 года назад +2

    Thank you so much. So my question is. You talk with this guy and basically you have shown your deepest concern. But he just tries to be nice all the time. Should one quit this. Or give it time?????😊

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      Being nice with no follow through or meaningful change means he isnt invested or willing to shift - probably good to let him go if its been a while!

    • @shakirahassan9741
      @shakirahassan9741 4 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer thank you there 😊

  • @soniatita9856
    @soniatita9856 3 года назад +1

    I don't agree with the use of techniques in relationships. I'm a social sciences student and l believe in spontaneity. First, you need be a good person; second, you need to have a good self-esteem (to place yourself before everything else without being selfish); and third, you need to be temperate (i.e., to have self-control). I use some techniques, such as in the case of conflict: don't you argue, blame, or complaint, just state facts and open up about how you feel.

  • @alicebadler
    @alicebadler 2 года назад +1

    WOW, just WOW - you give amazing information - loving and learning through your videos. I cannot believe it took me this long to find you. Thank you for all that you are and all that you give !

  • @user-melibu
    @user-melibu 7 месяцев назад

    Unattached by the outcome wowzaaa
    Howbdo I do this? I think the inner work like you said in a previous video.
    I seem to pick guys that are so excited at the Start they want you to trust them they have sex with you then i get bread crumbs ot just completly ignored until he wants to come back for sex. Aghhh

  • @galaxythree4653
    @galaxythree4653 3 месяца назад

    Mat, What makes you a high value man? Just because a man has many interested in him does not make him a high value. Maybe he is just a player. You don't need to chase a high value man nor do you want to chase him. High value women make informed choices.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 месяца назад

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts! If you're wondering whether you're ready to dive back into the dating scene, check out our new quiz: 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' It might provide some helpful insights! 💖 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

  • @lisette8881
    @lisette8881 4 года назад +7

    I love this video. I also love that I feel like I do this all more intentionally now because of you. I feel like it was always in my nature to do these things but after working with you I feel more confident in showing up that way. I have noticed that I have had really lovely connections and responses from men because of this.. ..on both ends it has been very authentic. Thanks Mat :)

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      AMAZING Lisette thank you so so much for your share... it's been SO BEAUTIFUL to watch your journey and expansion!! grateful to have connected with you : )

  • @justanothersherlockian7058
    @justanothersherlockian7058 Год назад +1

    It's great to see that your channel is all about honesty instead of the manipulative tactics I see people use on a daoly basis. Thanks for keeping it real!!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +1

      I appreciate that! Thanks much🙌❤️❤️

  • @jackiesacan6225
    @jackiesacan6225 4 года назад +1

    Hi Mat I watched and listened all your videos I'm your number 1 fan here in Dubai. Can you make videos regarding online dating as well? I'd love to hear you back.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад +1

      AMAZING hi Jackie! YES Online dating videos are happening its been added to my list :)

  • @SunShine_sublime
    @SunShine_sublime Год назад

    Women, stop trying to impress men. Focus on improving yourself. That's it!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks so much for your feedback!

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 4 года назад +1

    Men and women hight value same too thank you for sharing I love you always happy life together. Men and women amazing prefect couple awesome

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 4 года назад +1

    Powerful video amazing again tips How much I love you guy sharing women live in forever.

  • @fawnvigil6727
    @fawnvigil6727 4 года назад +2

    Awesome video thank you!

  • @nicholasferrara4327
    @nicholasferrara4327 Год назад

    Looking for the list in the comments 😊

  • @christeldevrindt3863
    @christeldevrindt3863 4 года назад +1

    Wow this is a very meaningful video,i have met a guy just a year ago and we get along very well ,it seems as it is my soulmate,we understand eachother without words we are in separation because he iis from another country and has a busy life..we text eachobher sometimes but for the end of 2019 he leaned back now i am confused and i don'nt want to be needy,i do'nt know what to do?🤲🙏💪

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 года назад

      so glad you enjoyed it! long distance is very tough... maybe open yourself to others?

  • @eunicegantt3069
    @eunicegantt3069 4 года назад +2

    Excellent video!!

  • @benedettadini
    @benedettadini 3 месяца назад

    @Mat_Shaffer this video makes so much sense! I think this is really incredibly insightful. But it’s so terribly difficult to be detached from the outcome! How do you actually do it when you like someone so much?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 месяца назад

      You’re fabulous! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and spreading the love. 💖

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Месяц назад

      Hi there, If you're contemplating whether it's the right time to date again, our 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' quiz might provide some helpful insights. 💖 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

  • @annscott2381
    @annscott2381 Год назад

    Does this happen in all cultures of men ???? I like this guy who is Chinese

  • @abbiethorndike121
    @abbiethorndike121 2 года назад +1

    and if the guy doesnt even answer the simple questions.....why would they even answer the "different" ones?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      because they know communiocation is important to you!

    • @abbiethorndike121
      @abbiethorndike121 2 года назад

      so....because communication is important to me and appartently not to them, get rid of those that dont answer. got it

  • @annajohansson9349
    @annajohansson9349 2 года назад +1

    Dude, I love your thought process and how efficiently you get your message out. Keep it up

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Thanks so much my dear! I’m so glad this helped you!

  • @parbatiaikat1471
    @parbatiaikat1471 2 года назад +1

    Thank you.. Love all your videos..!!!