So true. There’s a guy I currently like and only went out with on one date and I’ve been traveling for 2 weeks after that. I haven’t thought much of him or even talk to him since I’ve been soo busy but I haven’t forgotten how I think he’s handsome and sweet and different. Can’t wait to see where it goes!
@@dianneciresi6324 you suppose to be exclusive! Think of yourself as if you are a Ferrari. You can’t take that car for a test drive just like that. It’s by appointment only. And you have to pay for that appointment in advance even if you won’t buy a car. You can’t even buy that car no matter how much money you have. You have to be special to be invited to the Ferrari club.
"Being a challenge" in the way he's describing is the exact same as having/ honoring your standards & boundaries. That's not the same as playing games unless you're intentionally using it to trap or manipulate. Higher standards make you a challenge automatically & the RIGHT guys will take notice, while most of the wrong ones will see themselves out.
Ofc we do. When it’s right it will be easy, the guy will show that you are wanted loved and cared for. He will show and put effort in not just empty words. That is how is should be. And men are capable of this, its not too much to ask even in today’s dating scene. There are still good guys out there even if it dont seem like it atm.
@@oliviaa9219 yes don't fall into these cheap strategies to play mind games cause once you start this you'll be stuck into this forever. And the right person will always make it easier for you like butter.
If he loves you or wants you, he loves you and wants you, being a challenge or not. If he doesn't, let's stop breaking our heads and inventing games. There is no challenge at all if he is not into you or he stopped being into you.
Exactly, a man should love irrespective of you giving him the time or not. I don’t like these games of acting too unavailable. All this is just overthinking. If he really loves you he will love you the way you are and not expect you to be a certain way
@@Khushi-pm3pr Agreed! Living life itself is already a challenge with all the daily tasks and activities we face that keep us occupied, therefore there is no reason to add more challenges to know if a man is still in love with us.
I’m going to do this. I’ve always been so accommodating and this time, I want someone to earn that side of me. No wonder the guys I reject tend to be the ones who chase me! And the ones I really like take me for granted.
The guys you reject chase after you because they don't have many options and struggle to get even a date. While the guy you do like probably has many options which is why he is taking you for granted. What if a guy works hard to earn you and does it successfully, then he says to himself "I worked this hard for this?" He feels a dissatisfied. It's like a person who went to 12 years of school just to earn $30,000. The reward isn't worth the hard work. If there are other women who are going to be easy, why should he choose you? These are the questions you have to ask yourself. Are you worth the risks of relationships?
@@genericname7020 You raised very important questions there... However, you need to realise that putting a lot of effort does not mean a girl is obligated to love you or be with you. Accepting someone as your partner is a voluntary thing. It’s not because of anything the person has done, but it’s because of who they are as a person. Some women are easy, yes. But not because they just settle for your efforts… it’s because the relationship is easy when you are right for each other. My point for saying “I want someone to earn that side of me” is a way for me to not so easily give in to people who don’t have the right intentions. Someone who truly wants to get to know me will be patient and take their time to create trust first. Sometimes when we easily have something, we take it for granted. This is human nature! So a little time and effort reminds us that the person we have is special :)
@@genericname7020 the guys I reject chase after me because they feel challenged by the rejection! It wasn’t because they wanted me. They just wanted to ‘have’ me. Once they had me again, they treated me poorly again. The ones I like, well maybe they could sense I am desperate or they didn’t find me attractive… I don’t know their reasons but it’s okay.
im glad he left me. i know he wasn't treating me right but i didn't know how to react on that. i keep giving and giving, not realising, i lose myself. not ever doing that for a man who is not worthy, anymore.
God why does it all have to be so complicated 🙄🙄….why can’t two people show up as themselves with honest intentions and take it from there. It’s like you can’t be cold and distant but also have to be vulnerable but can’t show too much emotion and be too much!!! It seems impossible
Exactly!! I don't want to end up in a relationship with someone who's only with me because he loves the feeling of chase more than he actually loves me for who I am, but I also don't want to end up with someone who is gonna get "bored" of me one day because I don't make him chase me enough...it all sounds really exhausting and stressful 🤦🏾♀️
Yes it's sad to know that we're in the generation of to be in a relationship is to have a trial and error. We're divorce and annulment is legal and moving in w/o marriage is okay... It irritates me sometime when a man asks some couple are okay with that and why we can't. ..
I think this is true for both parties. No one wants a clingy person by their side. We can be in love with someone but if that person is constantly gravitating around you, it's a lot of pressure and not healthy for any relationship, even only friendship So yes, don't ever lose yourself in any relationship
I don’t do anything to attract a man. Let’s start from there! I’m myself and I’m not patient enough to check if a man is going to feel attracted by it or play games. I have this kind of personality and I’m single and always been single. I think we need start teaching the new generations of men to respect real women and make them understand women are not supposed to please them.
I hate when ppl say thing like :real woman /fake woman/man. Who are you for say which types of personalities and people are true or fake? Only women like you, or what you approve is real ?
Okay, being yourself is the challenge, because it will show if you respect yourself to have boundaries and goals or not. And I don't know what all this "realness" has to do with being a woman who should be themselves. You don't have to try to downgrade other women to uplift yourself and claim to be real. You already are.
" women are not supposed to please [men]... I’m single and always been single" Every woman I've been with pleased me and liked me to please them. That's ... how ... relationships... work... everywhere, in all situations: business, parenting, studying, everywhere. Mutual benefit. Anything else is exploitation.
Some are asking why women have to “play these games”.. the truth is that when you learn to be independent and put yourself first, it becomes self acceptance and not a game. Women need to learn to be happy with who they are and then these things fall into place.
Ladies... ladies... I'm listening to this with new ears... Let's keep it real! If we are being our true selves 100% of the time, we are challenging one way or the other for men. That's just us. And if we're watering it down making it easy for them, it's usually because we want something. And if we want it too much?!?! We've taken away something we didn't realize they loved about us. Epiphany much.
The best thing to do is let the situation be whatever it’s going to be, don’t have expectations, don’t ask serious questions, and don’t get emotionally attached! Works 100% of the time. He will chase you down cuz he doesn’t know where he stands with you and he’s going to be dying to know!
I have been with my husband (my best friend) for 29 years and I still find your tips helpful, I think e ery relationship benefits from a bit of attention to keep things fresh. Thank you for your videos.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Challenge accepted. We have been dating for two months. No sex, I put up my boundaries so we could connect on a emotional, personal level first. So glad I did I'm getting to know this amazing person I really feel close to. I think soon I will take it to the next level. But definitely don't had yourself on a silver platter straight away because you don't even know them yet at all!
@@roser8911 I wish you the best. There will be another chance. We are all learning. Getting to know someone is half the fun it also gives you both a chance to show off your personalities, values ect✨⭐
@@whatrtheodds 😔 I’m heart broken. I love him so much. He was my crush. He blocked my number and it’s been 4 months no contact. He’s 61 years old and I’m 30 years old
You're supposed to try to make him like you by acting like you don't like him much. Stay too busy to see him so he'll want to see you till you allow him to see you then he doesn't want to see you because he got to see you. Look, women. A man really likes you or he doesn't.
I'm enjoying my single life, but I still watch your videos, I love them!!!! Great mature relationship/dating advices on every video!!! ❤ thank you Brian!!
Honestly, the older I get, the more I realize that I only become what is labeled as “needy” or “whiny” when he’s not doing his part. If he’s treating me with respect, initiating conversations, helping out around the house, etc., I have no need to give him negative feedback. If a man doesn’t want a woman who only has eyes for him, who gives herself to him, it means he’s not mature enough, or hasn’t been with enough women, to appreciate and deserve it. That’s why going for older men can be a really good idea. The young ones are often too selfish and inexperienced to really appreciate a great woman. The one thing that really bothers me is being the only one who has to set boundaries. Women don’t feel comfortable doing it. We don’t like doing it. I wish men would stop drinking when on dates so they can think more with their heads and not other parts of their bodies, and be more helpful with not pushing boundaries when certain lines have already been discussed. If both people don’t rush the physical part, and they learn to care for each other’s hearts and minds, then women won’t feel so attached and start centering her world on him. Men need to help keep the boundaries that have been discussed. Both people are adults and should be able to respect one another.
Dating older isn't necessarily a guarantee you'll get what you want either! I married a man who's 8 years older than me and he is a total child. I feel more like his mother than his wife. And after 21 years, we're getting divorced.
Hi Bryan, I have been in touch with a man I liked for 10 months and we had 4 great 8 hour dates, nothing physical but I felt happy with him. Unfortunately he moved to another city for work and we haven't seen each other for 7 months now. A week ago he told me he started dating someone from work. Although we haven't been in a real relationship I felt so much hurt because we were talking to see each other again. I felt so sad and betrayed in a way. I told him how this made me feel and also that I can't stay in touch anymore. I miss him and it hurts but it felt like the right thing to do...
It doesn't seem like games to me, he essentially said have boundaries and don't be too clingy (aka work on having a secure attachment style) Just sounds healthy to me! Like the opposite of codependency
@@thehealingfairee I can def. see where you're coming from. Maybe I'm just not a fan of the cat and mouse chase. I feel like if someone wants me...they will give me the time and energy and commitment I deserve and sadly, the guys that have been in my life feel that is too much to ask. So I don't push further and remain single lol
The advice is literally for you to be strong and independent and go do things that you wanna do, not just try to please your partner all the time or be at their beck and call. This advice is the opposite of playing mind games. Playing mind games is when you overcompensate in a relationship and sacrifice your desires and integrity, hoping this would manipulate your partner into liking you more. It's inauthentic and more exhausting to live that way, imo.
When is the right one .. mean to be, believe me u don’t have to play games, healthy friendship and relationships flows naturally and little by little takes its place
Well done Brian for hearing out women's comments and explaining better what you mean by being a challenge without playing games. Some men of the avoidant type might only chase because they like the challenge and not the lady. I also love the bullet points at the end, clear and concise!
Connect with our wise, with our heart and let it flow without neediness and understand we’re made of energy. With focus in pure feelings we’ll attract all prosperity we all deserve. Gratitude 💕 beautiful!
It works the other way around too. I'm a woman and I need a challenge. But it's also an attachment style thing. People with an avoidant attachment style are attracted to connections where there is some kind of in built difficulty or 'challenge'. It's much more nuanced than "men" and "women" imo
I still think these are immature insecure men who will result in a toxic relationship. I had the love at first sight only after a few dates experience, he was worthy. We were together for three years. When the love at first sight is real you don’t have to challenge the guy you don’t have to play any gimmicks.
you have a very sweet vibe, like an enthusiastic professor of love with spectacles on the tip of his nose and happy hand gestures as he talks about his latest discoveries. Btw why shouldn't people learn to say Geert? its not that hard. English speaking people can stretch a bit just like the non-English ones have had to!
Yes. Leave everything and focus on being a challenge because you are not in a relationship for mental peace, you need to create chaos to be loved. Life challenges are not enough, you need to fantasise challenges. Gosh!
This is good stuff. I was chased by men for most of my life. I didn’t have to learn these things. But now I’m not free again and more mature. I like playing the love games. I wish I’d learned these things earlier.
My ex ( i left him ) always said i meant more to him because i was the only woman who did not sleep with him right away and it took him a long time to get to know me and get close to me ,so its true men will take a woman to bed on a first date but its the ones who take their time who stays on their mind. we didn't stay together just nota good match .very wise words mr nox xx
I love your explanations on what you mean. This makes so much sense❤ When I care for a man, I tell myself something fundamental inwardly: 'I get to choose if he meets my standards also.' Keeps me centered and knowing both of our equal worth❤
After 5 years of relationship.... I am all left with blames and criticism.... Criticism of being insecure... Of being overloving, over caring and prioritizing my love over myself..... Giving my 100% in every worst to worst condition and trying to understand him.... All i get is criticism for involving and creating issues in his life..... Presently dont know what to do..... Cant focus on anything
@@africanprincessmaya After We have sex with them we kick her out of our life because she made us wait for it , if a guy dumps a girl after sex it's because she didn't add enough value outside of sex
Very correct . Thnx for this Bang on Advice. I think in all relationships it is imp to keep a certain amount of distance often. In great friendships, with cousins, siblings colleagues n office staff you must appear as a Challenge n not as if too available lady types
humans crave for things which they cannot get . it is a demand and supply thing, give too much time and attention to men, they will take you for granted. so it is necessary to know when and how much to give so that there is always slightly less supply then demand 😅
I agree with you that it's a supply and demand issue. I think it's more of a supply and demand of options. A man who knows he can get multiple women whenever he wants is going to take you for granted. A man who knows he can't get multiple women whenever he wants isn't going to take you for granted. Rather, such a man, will be highly thankful and will give you all the attention back. Have you ever drank water when you were absolutely quenched vs. full with water. When you are quenched and not drinking water for an entire day, the water tastes better and feels more refreshing although it's the same water. Although the "thirsty" guy will be much more appreciative to you, you probably don't like him back. So what happens is that you are one of many women competing for one man. I wish more of these so-called relationship coaches would explain this dynamic.
I've been watching you for a while. I want to thank you. Watching your videos and hearing your advice really has helped me to make a better decision. Although I pretty much know what I should or shouldn't do. Hearing your advice and your thoughts on a situation helps seal my decisions.
Hi Brian, I've just discovered your channel and have really been enjoying your videos. They are insightful, very funny and truths we really need to hear and know about men. Thank you for taking that time to make these videos and add value to us all. Just wanted to let you know.
If he’s more interested in a challenge than he is in you, he’s not the right guy. I’m so tired of this twisted advice being given to women. Everyone should be authentic if a relationship is going to work. I’m not playing games to keep a guy’s attention
Women have it much harder in the game of love. Women outnumber men around the world. Women have to keep their man interested and chasing her even after the marriage ceremony. Whew! Relationships are work, work, work! Relationships are harder than losing weight and trigonometry.
I was committed to not losing myself after leaving a marriage where I experienced domestic violence. I made a list of the character traits I was looking for in future relationships. I made it clear what my boundaries were with the guy I started dating. Still fell off the cliff....
Chasing a person who is so much of a challenge that they are unattainable is an act of fear. This person fears a real relationship so much that they chase people they will never really have a relationship with.
I have challenged men to be better in the past but they don't rise to meet it and complain instead. Hearing this I guess I've never encountered a mature man who was serious about a relationship.
I thought that dynamic in love was something from the past, that now as society we are beyond that those stupid games, apparently it still happens hahah I hate it
Thank you Brian for all you do! I never knew how powerful words of praise/compliments could be on a guy until I used them genuinely on my boss. Wow! I never got that kind of response from anyone else! Now I'm going to try implementing 'being or giving him a challenge.' I appreciate you! Lol.
If you need to challenge the guy and think about it, then he just doesnt like you or respect you enough. Then you are dealing with a boy who uses women for fun. Also those challenges examples seem on edge, passive agressive.. Not a good advice. If sex is bad talk about it dont provoke.. Just the challenge thing in whole is not right. A girl can be interesting without playing mind games and provoking
We don’t communicate everyday but he still do his financial obligations to me and etc. This happened after he was moved to other work place.LDR since this year of january 2022. 5 years in relationship..i miss our everyday communication even we had our fights.
I can see this. It all makes sense! Even though I’ve lived with my fiancé for 4 years, I’ve always been a “challenge” to him. 🤷🏽♀️ I did this by just being myself and he naturally always wanted more. It was definitely more intense in the beginning but he still wants to do everything with me. He gets sad when I’m away for the day. I personally feel the same way about him and he’s always encouraging me to do better. I guess it works both way.
I was like that for a long time due to past experiences, but I finally at the point again where I am open to men and dating. I just worked on myself first. Or maybe you just don’t like men 😛
I told my ex I don't like booty calls then he got pissed off and deleted me on his whatsapp contacts. It's been more than a month now and I haven't heard anything from him yet 😐
Another excellent video. I agree with all of your suggestions. I consider your videos to be teaching videos since you are teaching us something to apply to have wonderful relationships with ourselves and others. Setting boundaries with others while maintaining self-respect goes a long way toward self growth. I'm older and divorced, and recently bought my first house in a very rural setting. I only see people when I go to the city to get groceries or supplies. I love the solitude with my dog, yet I'd love companionship at times. There aren't too many choices where I am.
I think this is crap. We don’t want to be a “challenge”. That means we as women are forfeiting our own pleasure. Plus society really gives us some shit for being “challenging”.
I have noticed that when you show boundaries moest men run to the easy catch. That is the reality of dating in 2021. Your advice, while sound advice, does not apply in what I have seen in real life. :(
This advice really helps after 5years being single i try to open and accept having date again but i feel these red flags already after 2to3 dates ggggrrrrr🙄
If a woman needs to watch this video to be that way... then it's a game, no inner value, no natural. She is expecting a result. And probably, too late for that guyif she is seeing this. It's wonderful to improve ourselves for the right reasons. But if you have to work too hard to be with someone in particular or to make him feel attracted to you... probably that is worthless and won't work. If the problem is that we can't find anyone, then we will have to ask ourselves some harsh, sincere questions, no Bambi movies. Or simply let it go.
Sweet & wholesome & exceedingly kind, this guy. But also wise- holler till you’re blue in the face about ‘ugh, games’ & ‘I should be able to Just Be Myself!’, but it won’t change biology 😏
Hey Brian ! I Really Love All of your Videos 💝 It is Very Nice 🤗 Can you maby make a Video about , how to know if your guy is the right man for you and a video about , how can I show him how much he means to me please 🥺💗💗
Brian, Thank you so much! I appreciate your every single video. In your unique way you share important knowledge, wisdom about understanding ourselves better and creating happy, healthy relationships. It would be so nice if you create a small textbook for teenagers from 16 y.o. and more with basic understandings how to protect ourselves emotionally, avoid many choices we do unconsciously and that create emotional pain, how to be healthy emotionally and what forms healthy relationships 🙏🌷🍀😇
Few things you can do to represent a challenge is to stay busy, don’t be always available, have a hobby, learn and grow.
So true. There’s a guy I currently like and only went out with on one date and I’ve been traveling for 2 weeks after that. I haven’t thought much of him or even talk to him since I’ve been soo busy but I haven’t forgotten how I think he’s handsome and sweet and different. Can’t wait to see where it goes!
@@luckycharm1212 Yeah that's what he means. It suppose to be like a dumb challenge so they keep chasing u, like the cat & mouse game. Ugh..
@@dianneciresi6324 you suppose to be exclusive! Think of yourself as if you are a Ferrari. You can’t take that car for a test drive just like that. It’s by appointment only. And you have to pay for that appointment in advance even if you won’t buy a car. You can’t even buy that car no matter how much money you have. You have to be special to be invited to the Ferrari club.
"Being a challenge" in the way he's describing is the exact same as having/ honoring your standards & boundaries. That's not the same as playing games unless you're intentionally using it to trap or manipulate. Higher standards make you a challenge automatically & the RIGHT guys will take notice, while most of the wrong ones will see themselves out.
Yes!!! Tru
Yes!!
You said so beautifully and eloquently
Exactly!
Why do we women always have to play mind games with men in order to get loved? Don't we deserve it already?
Yes we deserve it. I think for the right person you don't have to play any mind game. My first conversation with my husband was about cheese 🤦🏾♀️😂
@@4cniqabi983 hahaha 😂😂😂 god bless you two 🥰
Ofc we do. When it’s right it will be easy, the guy will show that you are wanted loved and cared for. He will show and put effort in not just empty words. That is how is should be. And men are capable of this, its not too much to ask even in today’s dating scene. There are still good guys out there even if it dont seem like it atm.
@@sarahrose0622 guess what ! You don't have to do these hustles with the right one. I hope the best for you 😇
@@oliviaa9219 yes don't fall into these cheap strategies to play mind games cause once you start this you'll be stuck into this forever. And the right person will always make it easier for you like butter.
If he loves you or wants you, he loves you and wants you, being a challenge or not. If he doesn't, let's stop breaking our heads and inventing games. There is no challenge at all if he is not into you or he stopped being into you.
💯
Thank you.🙌
Stress all because of what exactly 🙄
Exactly, a man should love irrespective of you giving him the time or not. I don’t like these games of acting too unavailable. All this is just overthinking. If he really loves you he will love you the way you are and not expect you to be a certain way
Exactly
@@Khushi-pm3pr Agreed! Living life itself is already a challenge with all the daily tasks and activities we face that keep us occupied, therefore there is no reason to add more challenges to know if a man is still in love with us.
"More chemistry than a meth lab" 😂😂
I know right 😂💀 And the way he said it!!
😄
🤣🤣
That killed me😄
That line cracked me 😋😉
I’m going to do this. I’ve always been so accommodating and this time, I want someone to earn that side of me. No wonder the guys I reject tend to be the ones who chase me! And the ones I really like take me for granted.
I so relate
The guys you reject chase after you because they don't have many options and struggle to get even a date. While the guy you do like probably has many options which is why he is taking you for granted.
What if a guy works hard to earn you and does it successfully, then he says to himself "I worked this hard for this?" He feels a dissatisfied. It's like a person who went to 12 years of school just to earn $30,000. The reward isn't worth the hard work. If there are other women who are going to be easy, why should he choose you? These are the questions you have to ask yourself. Are you worth the risks of relationships?
@@genericname7020 You raised very important questions there... However, you need to realise that putting a lot of effort does not mean a girl is obligated to love you or be with you. Accepting someone as your partner is a voluntary thing. It’s not because of anything the person has done, but it’s because of who they are as a person. Some women are easy, yes. But not because they just settle for your efforts… it’s because the relationship is easy when you are right for each other.
My point for saying “I want someone to earn that side of me” is a way for me to not so easily give in to people who don’t have the right intentions. Someone who truly wants to get to know me will be patient and take their time to create trust first. Sometimes when we easily have something, we take it for granted. This is human nature! So a little time and effort reminds us that the person we have is special :)
@@genericname7020 the guys I reject chase after me because they feel challenged by the rejection! It wasn’t because they wanted me. They just wanted to ‘have’ me. Once they had me again, they treated me poorly again. The ones I like, well maybe they could sense I am desperate or they didn’t find me attractive… I don’t know their reasons but it’s okay.
Too bad men are idiots like this.
im glad he left me. i know he wasn't treating me right but i didn't know how to react on that. i keep giving and giving, not realising, i lose myself. not ever doing that for a man who is not worthy, anymore.
He stopped chasing? Move on and forget him. Nothing works.
Boundaries are not challenges. They are boundaries. Men who see them as challenges are the problem.
God why does it all have to be so complicated 🙄🙄….why can’t two people show up as themselves with honest intentions and take it from there. It’s like you can’t be cold and distant but also have to be vulnerable but can’t show too much emotion and be too much!!! It seems impossible
Exactly!! I don't want to end up in a relationship with someone who's only with me because he loves the feeling of chase more than he actually loves me for who I am, but I also don't want to end up with someone who is gonna get "bored" of me one day because I don't make him chase me enough...it all sounds really exhausting and stressful 🤦🏾♀️
Yes it's sad to know that we're in the generation of to be in a relationship is to have a trial and error. We're divorce and annulment is legal and moving in w/o marriage is okay... It irritates me sometime when a man asks some couple are okay with that and why we can't. ..
It would be boring
It is impossible...
Trueeee
I think this is true for both parties. No one wants a clingy person by their side. We can be in love with someone but if that person is constantly gravitating around you, it's a lot of pressure and not healthy for any relationship, even only friendship
So yes, don't ever lose yourself in any relationship
I don’t do anything to attract a man. Let’s start from there! I’m myself and I’m not patient enough to check if a man is going to feel attracted by it or play games. I have this kind of personality and I’m single and always been single. I think we need start teaching the new generations of men to respect real women and make them understand women are not supposed to please them.
👏👏👏👏
THISSSS
I hate when ppl say thing like :real woman /fake woman/man. Who are you for say which types of personalities and people are true or fake? Only women like you, or what you approve is real ?
Okay, being yourself is the challenge, because it will show if you respect yourself to have boundaries and goals or not. And I don't know what all this "realness" has to do with being a woman who should be themselves. You don't have to try to downgrade other women to uplift yourself and claim to be real. You already are.
" women are not supposed to please [men]... I’m single and always been single"
Every woman I've been with pleased me and liked me to please them. That's ... how ... relationships... work... everywhere, in all situations: business, parenting, studying, everywhere. Mutual benefit. Anything else is exploitation.
Some are asking why women have to “play these games”.. the truth is that when you learn to be independent and put yourself first, it becomes self acceptance and not a game. Women need to learn to be happy with who they are and then these things fall into place.
Ladies... ladies... I'm listening to this with new ears... Let's keep it real! If we are being our true selves 100% of the time, we are challenging one way or the other for men. That's just us. And if we're watering it down making it easy for them, it's usually because we want something. And if we want it too much?!?! We've taken away something we didn't realize they loved about us. Epiphany much.
The best thing to do is let the situation be whatever it’s going to be, don’t have expectations, don’t ask serious questions, and don’t get emotionally attached! Works 100% of the time. He will chase you down cuz he doesn’t know where he stands with you and he’s going to be dying to know!
I have been with my husband (my best friend) for 29 years and I still find your tips helpful, I think e ery relationship benefits from a bit of attention to keep things fresh. Thank you for your videos.
@@fallen177 36! That's fantastic.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Challenge accepted. We have been dating for two months. No sex, I put up my boundaries so we could connect on a emotional, personal level first. So glad I did I'm getting to know this amazing person I really feel close to. I think soon I will take it to the next level. But definitely don't had yourself on a silver platter straight away because you don't even know them yet at all!
I’m happy for you. It’s too late for me. I just saw this video today. I gave him sex on a 2nd date and he dumped me
@@roser8911 I wish you the best. There will be another chance. We are all learning. Getting to know someone is half the fun it also gives you both a chance to show off your personalities, values ect✨⭐
@@whatrtheodds 😔 I’m heart broken. I love him so much. He was my crush. He blocked my number and it’s been 4 months no contact. He’s 61 years old and I’m 30 years old
@@roser8911 Man heart break sucks. 💔 Feel better soon. It does get better over time. It comes in waves. Hugs hugs hugs.🕊️💜
@@whatrtheodds thank you. can you give me suggestion how to act around him? Because we both go to the same gym. Or should I find new gym?
You're supposed to try to make him like you by acting like you don't like him much. Stay too busy to see him so he'll want to see you till you allow him to see you then he doesn't want to see you because he got to see you. Look, women. A man really likes you or he doesn't.
@@luckycharm1212 this is beautiful ❤
Exactly!
Excatly
Thank you, all these mind games are bullshit
@@benedicteyapo5626 yup. I am getting tired of this. Life is too short.
I'm enjoying my single life, but I still watch your videos, I love them!!!! Great mature relationship/dating advices on every video!!! ❤ thank you Brian!!
I love how real you are. Been together for 15 years and he still chases me
Wow, happy or you! Some go to tips that work like magic for you ?
Wooww, how do you do that?
@@jeccym8715 simple..by always being out of reach
@@africanprincessmaya and how you do that ? 😬
@@africanprincessmaya what do you mean out of reach?
Honestly, the older I get, the more I realize that I only become what is labeled as “needy” or “whiny” when he’s not doing his part. If he’s treating me with respect, initiating conversations, helping out around the house, etc., I have no need to give him negative feedback. If a man doesn’t want a woman who only has eyes for him, who gives herself to him, it means he’s not mature enough, or hasn’t been with enough women, to appreciate and deserve it.
That’s why going for older men can be a really good idea. The young ones are often too selfish and inexperienced to really appreciate a great woman.
The one thing that really bothers me is being the only one who has to set boundaries. Women don’t feel comfortable doing it. We don’t like doing it. I wish men would stop drinking when on dates so they can think more with their heads and not other parts of their bodies, and be more helpful with not pushing boundaries when certain lines have already been discussed.
If both people don’t rush the physical part, and they learn to care for each other’s hearts and minds, then women won’t feel so attached and start centering her world on him. Men need to help keep the boundaries that have been discussed. Both people are adults and should be able to respect one another.
Well said!
Dating older isn't necessarily a guarantee you'll get what you want either! I married a man who's 8 years older than me and he is a total child. I feel more like his mother than his wife. And after 21 years, we're getting divorced.
Hi Bryan, I have been in touch with a man I liked for 10 months and we had 4 great 8 hour dates, nothing physical but I felt happy with him. Unfortunately he moved to another city for work and we haven't seen each other for 7 months now. A week ago he told me he started dating someone from work. Although we haven't been in a real relationship I felt so much hurt because we were talking to see each other again. I felt so sad and betrayed in a way. I told him how this made me feel and also that I can't stay in touch anymore. I miss him and it hurts but it felt like the right thing to do...
I really wouldn't go through all this just to hang onto a man. Sounds exhausting. Rather would be single than play these games with guys...
It doesn't seem like games to me, he essentially said have boundaries and don't be too clingy (aka work on having a secure attachment style)
Just sounds healthy to me! Like the opposite of codependency
@@thehealingfairee I can def. see where you're coming from. Maybe I'm just not a fan of the cat and mouse chase. I feel like if someone wants me...they will give me the time and energy and commitment I deserve and sadly, the guys that have been in my life feel that is too much to ask. So I don't push further and remain single lol
The advice is literally for you to be strong and independent and go do things that you wanna do, not just try to please your partner all the time or be at their beck and call. This advice is the opposite of playing mind games. Playing mind games is when you overcompensate in a relationship and sacrifice your desires and integrity, hoping this would manipulate your partner into liking you more. It's inauthentic and more exhausting to live that way, imo.
@@helynoftroy2488 one day you will understand it 😘
This is the best advice for woman 2 deal with man 👌🏼
I feel this same way almost all the time but the right man will change my mind.
When is the right one .. mean to be, believe me u don’t have to play games, healthy friendship and relationships flows naturally and little by little takes its place
Well done Brian for hearing out women's comments and explaining better what you mean by being a challenge without playing games. Some men of the avoidant type might only chase because they like the challenge and not the lady. I also love the bullet points at the end, clear and concise!
An 'avoidant type' is very likely due to parents' traumas or borderline personality disorder. So no thanks.
yes
@@katja8095 False. It could be that he is dating multiple women and he just found one better than you.
Brian is such a gentleman as a coach.
Connect with our wise, with our heart and let it flow without neediness and understand we’re made of energy. With focus in pure feelings we’ll attract all prosperity we all deserve.
Gratitude 💕 beautiful!
Beautiful said
Pacing or matching is important as well as giving and receiving. Thank you!
Is that the same thing as mirroring?
It works the other way around too. I'm a woman and I need a challenge. But it's also an attachment style thing. People with an avoidant attachment style are attracted to connections where there is some kind of in built difficulty or 'challenge'. It's much more nuanced than "men" and "women" imo
Better be respected at all times,being loved or not.:)Self-respect is everything. 😇🙏❤️
Well I can say since we don't get your amazing videos regularly I'm definitely chasing after them! So excited to have another pop up!😁😜
Challenge raises your value. ~ Brian Nox. 🙌
I still think these are immature insecure men who will result in a toxic relationship.
I had the love at first sight only after a few dates experience, he was worthy. We were together for three years.
When the love at first sight is real you don’t have to challenge the guy you don’t have to play any gimmicks.
I agree with that, I think that if you truly like somebody physically and character wise, they won't need to be challenging
Oh yes 3 years and then bye bye honey
I believe in attraction and lust at first sight but not love at first right. Genuine love has to germinate and grow.
you have a very sweet vibe, like an enthusiastic professor of love with spectacles on the tip of his nose and happy hand gestures as he talks about his latest discoveries. Btw why shouldn't people learn to say Geert? its not that hard. English speaking people can stretch a bit just like the non-English ones have had to!
Yes. Leave everything and focus on being a challenge because you are not in a relationship for mental peace, you need to create chaos to be loved. Life challenges are not enough, you need to fantasise challenges. Gosh!
This is good stuff. I was chased by men for most of my life. I didn’t have to learn these things. But now I’m not free again and more mature. I like playing the love games. I wish I’d learned these things earlier.
My ex ( i left him ) always said i meant more to him because i was the only woman who did not sleep with him right away and it took him a long time to get to know me and get close to me ,so its true men will take a woman to bed on a first date but its the ones who take their time who stays on their mind. we didn't stay together just nota good match .very wise words mr nox xx
I love your explanations on what you mean. This makes so much sense❤ When I care for a man, I tell myself something fundamental inwardly: 'I get to choose if he meets my standards also.' Keeps me centered and knowing both of our equal worth❤
If I have to change myself this much to be in a successful relationship, then I would rather be on my own.
After 5 years of relationship.... I am all left with blames and criticism.... Criticism of being insecure... Of being overloving, over caring and prioritizing my love over myself..... Giving my 100% in every worst to worst condition and trying to understand him.... All i get is criticism for involving and creating issues in his life..... Presently dont know what to do..... Cant focus on anything
Girl , I hope you're doing well
Fuck this shit and KICK HIS ASS. Doesnt deserve you. Happened the same with me
One thing I learn everyday is that "men love pain"
Yes hon and torture and bills and paying extravagantly for women even if they complain about it
@@africanprincessmaya After We have sex with them we kick her out of our life because she made us wait for it , if a guy dumps a girl after sex it's because she didn't add enough value outside of sex
🤣🤣🤣, you right
I always love your videos. They are timely and informative... just what i need to bring me back to myself
Very correct . Thnx for this Bang on Advice. I think in all relationships it is imp to keep a certain amount of distance often. In great friendships, with cousins, siblings colleagues n office staff you must appear as a Challenge n not as if too available lady types
humans crave for things which they cannot get . it is a demand and supply thing, give too much time and attention to men, they will take you for granted. so it is necessary to know when and how much to give so that there is always slightly less supply then demand 😅
I agree with you that it's a supply and demand issue. I think it's more of a supply and demand of options. A man who knows he can get multiple women whenever he wants is going to take you for granted. A man who knows he can't get multiple women whenever he wants isn't going to take you for granted. Rather, such a man, will be highly thankful and will give you all the attention back. Have you ever drank water when you were absolutely quenched vs. full with water. When you are quenched and not drinking water for an entire day, the water tastes better and feels more refreshing although it's the same water.
Although the "thirsty" guy will be much more appreciative to you, you probably don't like him back. So what happens is that you are one of many women competing for one man. I wish more of these so-called relationship coaches would explain this dynamic.
I totally agree, lack of respect. So they treat like this, without respect, and the love ends
I've been watching you for a while. I want to thank you. Watching your videos and hearing your advice really has helped me to make a better decision. Although I pretty much know what I should or shouldn't do. Hearing your advice and your thoughts on a situation helps seal my decisions.
I wish every woman would see this.
Hi Brian, I've just discovered your channel and have really been enjoying your videos. They are insightful, very funny and truths we really need to hear and know about men. Thank you for taking that time to make these videos and add value to us all. Just wanted to let you know.
If he’s more interested in a challenge than he is in you, he’s not the right guy. I’m so tired of this twisted advice being given to women. Everyone should be authentic if a relationship is going to work. I’m not playing games to keep a guy’s attention
Women have it much harder in the game of love. Women outnumber men around the world. Women have to keep their man interested and chasing her even after the marriage ceremony. Whew! Relationships are work, work, work! Relationships are harder than losing weight and trigonometry.
I was committed to not losing myself after leaving a marriage where I experienced domestic violence.
I made a list of the character traits I was looking for in future relationships.
I made it clear what my boundaries were with the guy I started dating.
Still fell off the cliff....
I love your deadpan humor. 😂 Trying desperately not to laugh too hard into my coffee.
Chasing a person who is so much of a challenge that they are unattainable is an act of fear. This person fears a real relationship so much that they chase people they will never really have a relationship with.
even if this is old-fashion, I think this is still a very great test to measure his true intentions...thanks Brian...
Brian Knox, where were you a decade ago?? 🥺🙏 This explains a LOT
Thank you so much for your efforts. You really care💖 we are immensely grateful
The 20 secs bedroom " really " cracked my ribs 🤣🤣😩😩🤣🤣
If someone had told me this 20 years ago, my life had been totally different.
This was really helpful, especially the questions at the end. 💙
I have challenged men to be better in the past but they don't rise to meet it and complain instead. Hearing this I guess I've never encountered a mature man who was serious about a relationship.
"More chemistry than a meth lab"
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂
I thought that dynamic in love was something from the past, that now as society we are beyond that those stupid games, apparently it still happens hahah I hate it
I've been ghosted by the same guy over and over again. I had enough... I don't care if he calls it mind game.
This has been very helpful! I kinda figured it out on my own before seeing this video, so now I'll see where this leads my relationship.
Hi Brian, just discovered your channel today, thanks so much for the insightful sharings!
And then men complain about women not being assertive or making the first move 🙄
More chemistry than a meth lab IM SCREAMING 😂😂😂
Thank you Brian for all you do! I never knew how powerful words of praise/compliments could be on a guy until I used them genuinely on my boss. Wow! I never got that kind of response from anyone else! Now I'm going to try implementing 'being or giving him a challenge.'
I appreciate you! Lol.
It's so real when a man says it.
Thanks.
If you need to challenge the guy and think about it, then he just doesnt like you or respect you enough. Then you are dealing with a boy who uses women for fun. Also those challenges examples seem on edge, passive agressive.. Not a good advice. If sex is bad talk about it dont provoke.. Just the challenge thing in whole is not right. A girl can be interesting without playing mind games and provoking
Time is gold for me😁 at the end of the day if both of you like each other with chemistry and enjoying time thats ok
We don’t communicate everyday but he still do his financial obligations to me and etc.
This happened after he was moved to other work place.LDR since this year of january 2022.
5 years in relationship..i miss our everyday communication even we had our fights.
I can see this. It all makes sense! Even though I’ve lived with my fiancé for 4 years, I’ve always been a “challenge” to him. 🤷🏽♀️ I did this by just being myself and he naturally always wanted more. It was definitely more intense in the beginning but he still wants to do everything with me. He gets sad when I’m away for the day. I personally feel the same way about him and he’s always encouraging me to do better. I guess it works both way.
This is beautiful!!
Sounds exhausting 😱
@@mohammedyahaya2833 we don't need scammers
Why I am not attracted to any men and I want them to leave me alone ? I feel like I don’t even care if they like me or not !
idk your gender but maybe you are gay or asexual :)
I was like that for a long time due to past experiences, but I finally at the point again where I am open to men and dating. I just worked on myself first. Or maybe you just don’t like men 😛
Future cat lady Make sure to clean out their litter box often
U‘re lucky u won‘t get ur feelings hurt
Because most of them are annoying and just want sex
I told my ex I don't like booty calls then he got pissed off and deleted me on his whatsapp contacts. It's been more than a month now and I haven't heard anything from him yet 😐
Another excellent video. I agree with all of your suggestions. I consider your videos to be teaching videos since you are teaching us something to apply to have wonderful relationships with ourselves and others. Setting boundaries with others while maintaining self-respect goes a long way toward self growth. I'm older and divorced, and recently bought my first house in a very rural setting. I only see people when I go to the city to get groceries or supplies. I love the solitude with my dog, yet I'd love companionship at times. There aren't too many choices where I am.
I love your videos, I bought one of your books as a treat to myself...🥰❤
You are the best thing I have discovered this year! Thank you! 🥰🥰🤣🤣🤣
Is there a way to start over if you realize (after a couple of years) this has happened?
I think this is crap. We don’t want to be a “challenge”. That means we as women are forfeiting our own pleasure. Plus society really gives us some shit for being “challenging”.
Yes , but of course, we always consider that there must be a balance in everything . Maybe too much challenges can be stressful .❤😊
If you like the chase…buy a rifle and go deer hunting.
Takes to much. I say if you’re meant to be your are. But I guess a little challenge is good.
I have noticed that when you show boundaries moest men run to the easy catch. That is the reality of dating in 2021. Your advice, while sound advice, does not apply in what I have seen in real life. :(
I agree.
Then that is not the type of man that you want. You do not want a man who would go to someone easy.
The ones who ran, ran because they were going to use you for one thing and leave you regardless
@@healed2011 but most do go hahah
You dont want to date that type of man. They will leave you easily like they will leave those women.
This advice really helps after 5years being single i try to open and accept having date again but i feel these red flags already after 2to3 dates ggggrrrrr🙄
you're humor is undeniable :D
You can love without being disrespected.:)
Thank you, Brian, great advice! 💓💓💓👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I’m very impressed your understanding of women & your kind giving advice
Sorry but if I can't be who I am without playing stupid mind games, then I'm just not interested.
So spot on. I love your videos. 👏🏽
Thank you - I do way too much in relationships.
I’m not gonna play games, I’m too busy for that. If we click, we click and we will take it slow and see where it leads. Otherwise, bye.
Lolol your being busy is a challenge. Lolol you are already on d right track
Whats the point if they win the challenge even after years may leave
If a woman needs to watch this video to be that way... then it's a game, no inner value, no natural. She is expecting a result. And probably, too late for that guyif she is seeing this.
It's wonderful to improve ourselves for the right reasons. But if you have to work too hard to be with someone in particular or to make him feel attracted to you... probably that is worthless and won't work.
If the problem is that we can't find anyone, then we will have to ask ourselves some harsh, sincere questions, no Bambi movies. Or simply let it go.
Sweet & wholesome & exceedingly kind, this guy.
But also wise- holler till you’re blue in the face about ‘ugh, games’ & ‘I should be able to Just Be Myself!’, but it won’t change biology 😏
Once again you hit the spot! Thank you for your teachings, time and effort. Much appreciated 💚🤗🌴
Hey Brian ! I Really Love All of your Videos 💝 It is Very Nice 🤗 Can you maby make a Video about , how to know if your guy is the right man for you and a video about , how can I show him how much he means to me please 🥺💗💗
Practical and straightforward. Thank you!
Brian, Thank you so much! I appreciate your every single video. In your unique way you share important knowledge, wisdom about understanding ourselves better and creating happy, healthy relationships. It would be so nice if you create a small textbook for teenagers from 16 y.o. and more with basic understandings how to protect ourselves emotionally, avoid many choices we do unconsciously and that create emotional pain, how to be healthy emotionally and what forms healthy relationships 🙏🌷🍀😇