Bill Burr Zombies, Shotties & Good Spread

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  • Опубликовано: 2 окт 2013
  • КиноКино

Комментарии • 612

  • @drunkenrampage1588
    @drunkenrampage1588 6 лет назад +943

    "I want to get a gun"
    Best way to open a comedy special.

    • @reverse5163
      @reverse5163 4 года назад +7

      *Ahhh Hear YA!*

    • @mrdaym
      @mrdaym Год назад +1

      It's between that and "Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"

    • @alexludavertigo6926
      @alexludavertigo6926 Год назад

      Ghost gun gittin spot #grangergloryhole

    • @despacitodaniel801
      @despacitodaniel801 Год назад +5

      No context startups are funny
      I heard one who mid act said "I'm depressed" out of nowhere and that was the hardest I heard the crowd laugh

  • @deadspace2
    @deadspace2 7 лет назад +937

    If there's one universal language everyone understands it is the sound of a shotgun being cocked back hahaha

    • @SirXanderKnight1998
      @SirXanderKnight1998 6 лет назад +18

      Amen to that.

    • @spicalicious
      @spicalicious 6 лет назад +16

      Hi-Tec Jaymes *racked back*.
      But yes. Agreed.

    • @TheAdatto
      @TheAdatto 6 лет назад +2

      But he ment a double barrel

    • @dapabur1
      @dapabur1 4 года назад +19

      You are right...Syd....When you 'rack' a shotgun everyone gets quiet for a second or two. They all know that sound. They are waiting for the enevitable "boom". They have a good spread.

    • @juanarreola5346
      @juanarreola5346 4 года назад

      True that shit

  • @MissGloria95
    @MissGloria95 9 лет назад +253

    it's in the living room
    he's in the living room!!

  • @mattburkhardt7555
    @mattburkhardt7555 7 лет назад +889

    Bill Burr just earned himself a spot on my zombie apocalypse team.

    • @coolman54061
      @coolman54061 2 года назад +10

      Can i have a spot too

    • @xanderman7142
      @xanderman7142 2 года назад +13

      He’d definitely be like Nick from Left 4 Dead 2!

    • @d73w80
      @d73w80 2 года назад +4

      Damn, I wanted him. You up to trade?

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino Год назад +4

      ​@@d73w80 can I be the one guy who gets bit but doesn't tell the rest of the group

    • @eziokill9112
      @eziokill9112 Год назад +1

      @@Kinobambino can I be the guy who gets shot dead randomly so we can Introduce a new enemy faction?

  • @tjay9764
    @tjay9764 7 лет назад +637

    bill burr predicted season 7 of the walking dead when he said if you can't fight your are just gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block

    • @katerinarampenthal3819
      @katerinarampenthal3819 7 лет назад +21

      Lmao true story. Negan is a dick

    • @radlightgamma4554
      @radlightgamma4554 6 лет назад +25

      T JAY
      Thats just life in general...

    • @JohnSmith-yt5hn
      @JohnSmith-yt5hn 6 лет назад +1

      Or maybe he read the comics and used it for comedy material?

    • @pawelt.5385
      @pawelt.5385 2 года назад +3

      @@JohnSmith-yt5hn he just know the people well.

    • @sudind
      @sudind 2 года назад +3

      @@JohnSmith-yt5hn I don't think he's much of a comics guy

  • @Anyanyadir
    @Anyanyadir 10 лет назад +758

    It's got a good spread.

    • @hunterpeterson6122
      @hunterpeterson6122 6 лет назад +27

      Life ain't a movie.

    • @xaviert8664
      @xaviert8664 3 года назад +5

      @@hunterpeterson6122 life is like a box of chocolate, ya never know what ya gonna get

    • @florentinovasquez3801
      @florentinovasquez3801 3 года назад +10

      @@xaviert8664 Y'gonna get a good spread.

    • @kaidzz9358
      @kaidzz9358 3 года назад +1

      @@florentinovasquez3801 yeah brother

    • @HisDudeness2020
      @HisDudeness2020 2 года назад

      @@xaviert8664 diabeetus... ya get diabeetus.

  • @dunewolfjr.4618
    @dunewolfjr.4618 8 лет назад +239

    "One barrel for you one for me" lol that was genius

  • @brainfulify
    @brainfulify 4 года назад +82

    "You step on a rake, in ya go!" lmao

  • @901stinababy
    @901stinababy 3 года назад +113

    "These people get smart,flip it over, that's it! Its gotta good spread." 😂😂😂😂

  • @mhks68
    @mhks68 9 лет назад +314

    5:05 REALLY?!? Cause im gonna load it and shower with it....AUUUUUGHHH EHHHH AWWAAAAAHHH

  • @Walking-MY-Path
    @Walking-MY-Path 8 лет назад +792

    "Life ain't a movie."

    • @dantecrowell7942
      @dantecrowell7942 7 лет назад +101

      "you feel me"

    • @Walking-MY-Path
      @Walking-MY-Path 7 лет назад +108

      Dante Crowell "You ever watch a Movie a guy go blaw blaw blaw he he kills 3 people......Real life man you miss it you miss all the fucking time."

    • @dantecrowell7942
      @dantecrowell7942 7 лет назад +7

      AGbaby235 😂😂😂😂

    • @Walking-MY-Path
      @Walking-MY-Path 7 лет назад +7

      Dante Crowell LOLZ

    • @mckenzie.latham91
      @mckenzie.latham91 6 лет назад +3

      The only people who miss are those who don't practice, so yeah that's why so many people miss in the states with handguns.

  • @xanderman7142
    @xanderman7142 2 года назад +134

    If Bill was ever in a zombie apocalypse, I feel like he would end up being like Nick from Left 4 Dead 2.

    • @FemboyTyco
      @FemboyTyco Год назад +11

      I can totally see it.

    • @ACunningLinguist
      @ACunningLinguist 9 месяцев назад

      HAHAHAHA L4D 1&2
      EPIC!
      Have you seen the A.I. voice overs with Presidents Bush, Obama, Biden and Trump playing it through? Or Bill and Francis singing Paralyzed?
      HILARIOUS

  • @th3lukewarm
    @th3lukewarm 9 лет назад +1452

    ''One Barrel for you, one barrel for me'' Jesus Christ I don't get why the audience didn't laugh harder at that, I almost drop off my seat.

    • @FrancoDFernando
      @FrancoDFernando 9 лет назад +28

      Mr SaTuRn Same thing with the Golddigging Whore segment of this act....I was literally rolling in my seat, I was laughing so hard...but the crowd was so quiet for how funny it was

    • @acecalderon8376
      @acecalderon8376 9 лет назад +32

      Shitty crowds full of uptight people makes for a lot of awkward pauses

    • @elliotthedissident6077
      @elliotthedissident6077 8 лет назад +12

      +Ace Calderon People generally call them "libtards".

    • @stevenjames6766
      @stevenjames6766 8 лет назад +5

      agreed!

    • @Walking-MY-Path
      @Walking-MY-Path 8 лет назад +11

      Those damn PC liberals!

  • @AndreasFilms
    @AndreasFilms 10 лет назад +156

    I never thought that Saul's bodyguard wouldn't know shit about guns...

    • @Thrashaero
      @Thrashaero 10 лет назад +20

      well, apparently he knows more about them to know the typical stat spouter is full of shit.

    • @juandiegoprado
      @juandiegoprado 2 года назад +26

      He knows more about water pollution regulations in the state of New Mexico

    • @SuperCrazyPsycho731
      @SuperCrazyPsycho731 Год назад

      You never thought that actors in movies and television were playing roles that weren't anything like their true selves? Ok

    • @mrOGbobbyjohnson
      @mrOGbobbyjohnson 7 месяцев назад +1

      He wasn’t a bodyguard
      He was an IRS agent

  • @mate.feed.kill.repeat
    @mate.feed.kill.repeat 2 года назад +210

    A lot of people are really surprised when they figure out pistols are harder to shoot accurately then your grandaddy’s rifle or shotgun

    • @vanimaladventures
      @vanimaladventures 2 года назад +7

      *relevant username*

    • @nikotheophanis8795
      @nikotheophanis8795 Год назад +7

      Hes right you will miss all the fucking time unless u are in a movie, a pistol which is harder to get good with than a rifle or a shotgun just shoot a gun and try not to flinch its not as easy as u would think

    • @gokuss15
      @gokuss15 Год назад +8

      @@nikotheophanis8795 sort of. I’ve always been more accurate with a pistols, they’re easier to keep steady because they’re much lighter than long guns. Go try to shoot a bolt action at 100 yards (which sounds like a lot but is nothing) watch how much that scope wobbles when you breathe or your heart beats.

    • @SuperCrazyPsycho731
      @SuperCrazyPsycho731 Год назад +1

      I don't know. I'm more dangerous with a pistol than a rifle simply because its less time to take aim. I'm really good with both though. 😆 Also archery

    • @grammajam3682
      @grammajam3682 Год назад

      shotguns are op ah. they'll mangle you at any range if you are in its general line of fire. easy to load too

  • @spizzikes2400
    @spizzikes2400 10 лет назад +339

    And then these people here, they saw what you just did here, you ain't got a problem here either, feel me? XD

    • @osefenfait7847
      @osefenfait7847 9 лет назад +6

      my favorite part in the vid too i think haha

  • @mjs3764
    @mjs3764 4 года назад +35

    "Can you please stop speaking in these backwoods riddles?" 🤣

  • @brandonjeffers7164
    @brandonjeffers7164 6 лет назад +31

    His pantemime while screaming HE'S IN THE LIVING ROOM!! Is fucking gold! Leanin like a motorcycle racer lmao

  • @UnkTob
    @UnkTob 2 года назад +12

    “... get my parakeet another friend, ...” LMAO! 😂🤣

  • @peterstroe
    @peterstroe 8 лет назад +72

    A comedic genius.

  • @kslax93
    @kslax93 4 года назад +22

    The way he said “ I hear ya” had me dying lmao

  • @youtubasoarus
    @youtubasoarus 9 лет назад +261

    I almost choked on my coffee at 2:21

  • @itzzhenry
    @itzzhenry 6 лет назад +72

    His delivery of the lines is so bloody perfect

  • @collecttcg1122
    @collecttcg1122 2 года назад +10

    "It's got a good spreeaaaad" 😂 so funny

  • @brianban110
    @brianban110 7 лет назад +28

    his southern accent sounds like Ralphy may

    • @k.b.8763
      @k.b.8763 6 лет назад

      Brian Banegas R.I.P.

  • @dandan8787
    @dandan8787 10 лет назад +45

    Honestly this guy is friggin hilarious!

  • @deadarmd
    @deadarmd 6 лет назад +33

    Hes funny in part because he taps into what any race, sex, or age can relate to. Tied in with talent.

  • @Floydfan47
    @Floydfan47 6 лет назад +7

    "You step on a rake and in you go!" 😂😂😂😂

  • @kewltony
    @kewltony 8 лет назад +114

    GET A SHINY ONE

    • @summushieremiasclarkson4700
      @summushieremiasclarkson4700 7 лет назад +9

      That's what I say to people when they want a Macbook. Fucking plebs.

    • @giggityeffyou
      @giggityeffyou 6 лет назад

      His Supreme Clarkson-ness
      What do you recommend? Thinking about getting a new laptop

    • @majestic._
      @majestic._ 6 лет назад +1

      giggityeffyou a PC if you're techy

    • @dagaybrucewayne
      @dagaybrucewayne 2 года назад +1

      Kek

  • @josemathews96
    @josemathews96 11 месяцев назад +3

    "Step on a rake, in you go". That immediately triggers Tom & Jerry memories

  • @PurpleCaliper
    @PurpleCaliper 5 лет назад +84

    I love how he makes you look like a jackass for doing every day things like fixing up an old stool.

    • @BravoDox
      @BravoDox 11 месяцев назад +2

      It's less the fixing up and more the getting permission from the wife that he's making fun of.

  • @diegonoriega17
    @diegonoriega17 2 года назад +10

    That joke about taking your gun in the shower gets even better after knowing that Bert actually did that

  • @UniteForgetLeftRight
    @UniteForgetLeftRight 8 лет назад +166

    They need to make sawed off shotguns legal again. They are the perfect close quarters home defense weapon. You don't want to be bumping a long barrel into shit or giving the intruder something to reach for in a life or death situation.

    • @SkylarRuloff
      @SkylarRuloff 8 лет назад +18

      +AttentionJunkie Just buy a shot gun, saw it off and don't tell anyone.

    • @UniteForgetLeftRight
      @UniteForgetLeftRight 8 лет назад +31

      Skylar Ruloff If you ever used it you would get in trouble with the federal government.

    • @Fluoride_Jones
      @Fluoride_Jones 8 лет назад +41

      +AttentionJunkie "They" don't want people to be able to protect themselves, therefore, sawed-off shotguns will NEVER be legal.

    • @mosesgambler2
      @mosesgambler2 8 лет назад +20

      But. dude, drywall work. Is has a good spread, remember?

    • @elchucofried5683
      @elchucofried5683 8 лет назад +1

      +AttentionJunkie
      you can just buy a .44 magnum

  • @spencergsmith
    @spencergsmith 2 года назад +7

    I mean, everything the salesman said is correct 😂

  • @bat4481
    @bat4481 6 лет назад +16

    I have never laughed so hard in my life through the whole stand up bit. The best ever, Bill Burr.

  • @hunpolo
    @hunpolo 7 лет назад +8

    one of my best part about learning English is Bill Burr no contest ... Funniest dude on the planet ..

  • @JuanDeSoCal
    @JuanDeSoCal 9 лет назад +10

    Ya step on a rake, in ya go!

  • @balusindiancuisine
    @balusindiancuisine 6 лет назад +5

    ''Get my parakeet another friend' haha

  • @TheDefectiveThobe
    @TheDefectiveThobe 6 лет назад +6

    "Your need a shotgun" LMFAO

  • @kylemelenka7549
    @kylemelenka7549 Год назад +2

    Bill Burr would be the second in command of my zombie apocalypse team

  • @sinister8924
    @sinister8924 10 лет назад +33

    Good spread.

  • @Sadd2Me
    @Sadd2Me 10 лет назад +14

    Jam jam sleeves...haha holy shit.

  •  6 лет назад +4

    "I just want to shoot the guy, I don´t want to do a bunch of drywall work" hahahaha

    • @killer13324
      @killer13324 6 лет назад

      hollow points expand on impact.

  • @faridmejia5820
    @faridmejia5820 Год назад +1

    😂😂😂got a good spread lmaoooooooo hilarious

  • @mrimpressions3158
    @mrimpressions3158 2 года назад +4

    5:09 I’m dying 😂

  • @Joonaman123
    @Joonaman123 2 года назад +25

    I swear no one else can make people laugh as much just by saying "I wanna get a gun"

  • @jayemlov
    @jayemlov 6 лет назад +4

    2:45 I rarely literally laugh out loud 😂😂

  • @aspookyscaryskeleton1474
    @aspookyscaryskeleton1474 8 лет назад +57

    The 80% increase doesn't really make a difference if your percent chance is still somewhere in the 0.00001%

    • @fenrirhere
      @fenrirhere 6 лет назад +1

      A Spooky Scary Skeleton I don't think so.

    • @bingS4
      @bingS4 2 года назад +4

      If I remember right, that stat includes people who had guns in their home because they're *already* involved in crime and so much more likely to get shot.

  • @bojaiden5175
    @bojaiden5175 7 лет назад +2

    You step on a rake and you go...classic Bill Burr

  • @gerrymcveigh2624
    @gerrymcveigh2624 6 лет назад +42

    he keeps it real ...not all politically correct 😊😀 very honest very funny!!!!

  • @Micky_Papa
    @Micky_Papa 4 года назад +19

    Who’s watching this inside with a full stock supply of pasta and toilet paper in 2020?

    • @timgraham7851
      @timgraham7851 3 года назад

      And birdshot, buckshot, and slugs.

  • @reformedreloaded2654
    @reformedreloaded2654 9 лет назад +10

    Bill Burr is the honeybadger of commedians. He don't care.

  • @DontFeedTheGaben
    @DontFeedTheGaben 10 лет назад +71

    It it just me, or does this guy look like Saul's ginger bodyguard in breaking bad?

  • @MrEdlawrence
    @MrEdlawrence 6 лет назад +2

    Oh Bill , how you truly make my day!!

  • @garkar908
    @garkar908 2 года назад +2

    Man this dude killing me 😂😂😂💀

  • @jesset4870
    @jesset4870 3 года назад +2

    Plaaaant some zucchini 😂😂😂😂

  • @WildSchatz
    @WildSchatz 9 месяцев назад

    “Put that right in my jam-jam sleeve” 😆😂🤣😅 he sneaks shit in like “jam-jam” to go that extra mile to show that he doesn’t know guns, just that he wants one and knows from what he’s seen in movies.

  • @zax8914
    @zax8914 3 месяца назад

    "Talent hits a target nobody else can hit. Genius hits a target nobody else can see." -Schopenhauer

  • @user-mw6ge1gk9o
    @user-mw6ge1gk9o 4 месяца назад

    i love his, honesty

  • @SomeOne-uw3tf
    @SomeOne-uw3tf 2 года назад

    The guy who shouted YEAH!! When Bill said WHAT if yhe zombies come get me every time.. he thought about it for time LOL

  • @boardtodeath46
    @boardtodeath46 4 месяца назад

    This was hilarious. Best comedy short I have ever seen.

  • @jellybean7283
    @jellybean7283 6 лет назад +8

    this guy needs to be a voice actor 😂🤣

    • @HeavyweightMind
      @HeavyweightMind 6 лет назад +5

      Zidonia he actually does have a show called F is for Family. It's an animated family sitcom in the 70s.

  • @MADGUNSMONSTER
    @MADGUNSMONSTER Год назад +1

    Bill literally just described the "Sanctuary / Negan" storyline from 'The Walking Dead'.

  • @Phentes
    @Phentes Год назад +1

    Omg I remember the first time I heard this I was on the fucking floor, I don’t even need to do sit ups anymore I get abs just by laughing 😂 at bill

  • @minutemancase
    @minutemancase 6 лет назад

    This guy has changed my life he is the best

  • @benjaminmcfarlane3807
    @benjaminmcfarlane3807 4 года назад

    I love this bit

  • @neilatchley3675
    @neilatchley3675 2 года назад +1

    Absolutely hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

  • @juanarreola5346
    @juanarreola5346 4 года назад +1

    He's in the living room!!!

  • @pameladavis3622
    @pameladavis3622 5 лет назад +6

    Ell, it means ya ain't gotta be that accurate. The further away you are the more shitchu hit. It's gotta good spread

  • @bobhoekstra7590
    @bobhoekstra7590 10 месяцев назад

    It’s got a good spread…., floored and in stitches 😂😂😂

  • @jakegilbert8116
    @jakegilbert8116 9 месяцев назад

    That was never on the chain & just bill being himself! My favorite comedian

  • @SlySquriel
    @SlySquriel 2 года назад +2

    3:19 wise words of wisdom

  • @23ofSeptember
    @23ofSeptember 6 лет назад +4

    Burr and Louis CK are my favs. I can't wait for Louis to come back.

  • @hdflatscreen8478
    @hdflatscreen8478 5 лет назад +2

    I fucking love this dude's comedy

  • @Kngillso
    @Kngillso 6 лет назад +4

    (Posting on my hubbie’s Gacct, lol). I love Burr’s honesty and simplicity!!! That’s what makes his comedy GREAT 😂 I am a female and regardless of anyone’s(other females) opinion, Burr is on point concerning women and the way they operate!!! #1 by far, his “no reason to hit a woman “ .... CLASSIC, TRUE, HILARIOUS 🤣

  • @fburgos22
    @fburgos22 10 лет назад +8

    It is the guy from Breaking Bad and from the Chappelle show.... He's the guy that says I'll have a Samuel Jackson

  • @ioaneluteru6200
    @ioaneluteru6200 6 лет назад

    "You step on a rake in you go"!....😂😂

  • @elitelegaldocprep
    @elitelegaldocprep 6 лет назад +1

    Lmao. Bill Burr one of the GOATs.

  • @keithconfidentiality2834
    @keithconfidentiality2834 7 лет назад +1

    Dude, if you haven't seen his stuff you need to watch it. He is fantastic!

  • @goodchildm.a.a.durbanarea4739
    @goodchildm.a.a.durbanarea4739 4 года назад +7

    the public: "Why is corona virus so dangerous?"
    scientists: 1:47

  • @hrvojebrzica3396
    @hrvojebrzica3396 7 лет назад +51

    why do you need a scope? How big is your house Bill Burr?

  • @stephenr80
    @stephenr80 2 года назад

    Hes just so funny best of his gen.

  • @corvairkid17
    @corvairkid17 4 года назад +18

    Get a 10mm handgun, let the wife attempt to chamber a round...
    Children can't chamber a gun with a 21+lb recoil spring.
    Hidden safety feature.

    • @mr.doctorcaptain1124
      @mr.doctorcaptain1124 Год назад +1

      Or just teach your kids how to use a gun? My old man had me learning by the time I was 5. I fully understood how dangerous they are, that you never play with one, and you never touch one without an express purpose to fire it.

  • @jordanmalecki2006
    @jordanmalecki2006 2 года назад

    "Miss all the fuckin' time" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dagaybrucewayne
    @dagaybrucewayne 2 года назад +1

    ITS GOT A GOOD SPREEEAD

  • @daniellol3210
    @daniellol3210 8 лет назад +6

    Its gotta good spread!

  • @oneshotonekill2528
    @oneshotonekill2528 6 лет назад +1

    Wife bought me a new shotgun last week lol, love bill.

  • @bat4481
    @bat4481 6 лет назад

    "Now you step on a rake in you go..." hahahahah

  • @moondoggie1968
    @moondoggie1968 7 месяцев назад

    That's Some FUNNY SHIT! All Day Long People!

  • @tomslick1650
    @tomslick1650 10 лет назад +20

    bobby flay is hilarious

  • @0thers1d3
    @0thers1d3 Год назад +1

    God damn.. this was absurd. 😆😆😆

  • @brandonjeffers7164
    @brandonjeffers7164 6 лет назад +5

    The lack of laughs when Bill took a stab at himself with the gold coins joke disturbs me lol

  • @Funkybassplayer
    @Funkybassplayer 8 месяцев назад

    Where the scope. In the living room. He is IN the living room. 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @gaetanalbrecht
    @gaetanalbrecht 6 лет назад +1

    " y'know "
    - Bill Burr -

  • @alexcrawford5350
    @alexcrawford5350 2 месяца назад

    Haha, the beginning of the video, “I want to get a gun.”, the audience starts laughing.

  • @VestinVestin
    @VestinVestin Год назад

    Bill Burr: _"(...) and that'll all well and good, but if you don't know how to fight, all you're doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block."_
    Thomas Hobbes: _"Hear, hear!"_

  • @finnish_hunter
    @finnish_hunter Год назад

    This whole joke is full of amazing and fucking funny cluster jokes

  • @sirtizzle1
    @sirtizzle1 5 лет назад +1

    GOT A GOOD SPREAD!!! 😂🤣

  • @thegeneralissimo470
    @thegeneralissimo470 2 года назад

    The best thing about small gun store people is that most of them are exactly like how Bill described them, no prejudice, no fluffy language to non gun people, they’ll fix you up with what you need.

    • @nubertuberluber
      @nubertuberluber Год назад

      But what about the backwoods riddles?1

    • @thegeneralissimo470
      @thegeneralissimo470 Год назад

      That too. But it’s usually either only one of the people working, or a regular who hangs out there for some reason.

  • @farrjarr
    @farrjarr 6 лет назад

    Bill is 1 funny guy.