Bill Burr - no reason to hit a woman - how women argue (FULL) from You People are all the Same

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  • Опубликовано: 17 дек 2024

Комментарии • 14 тыс.

  • @BrettonFerguson
    @BrettonFerguson 5 лет назад +4192

    I've told my wife "Maybe we should talk about it later when you have calmed down".
    I don't think I've ever seen her more visibly pissed off any other time for any other reason than after I said that.

    • @tmccann1876
      @tmccann1876 5 лет назад +425

      Tried this about a week ago. We live together, she's losing her shit, I said "When you want to have an adult conversation we'll talk." 3 days of no zero talking later I finally had to give the olive branch. There's no win

    • @iilhares
      @iilhares 5 лет назад +928

      That's because you surrendered. You started on the moral high ground and then relented, giving in to an emotionally manipulative tyrant.

    • @josevillalobos547
      @josevillalobos547 5 лет назад +21

      LMFAO I love it

    • @Scarletraven87
      @Scarletraven87 5 лет назад +296

      @@tmccann1876 why had you to give up? Fucking idiot

    • @jeremyshipp4414
      @jeremyshipp4414 5 лет назад +16

      Bretton Ferguson damn dude I feel this in my soul

  • @jarrodheglar1666
    @jarrodheglar1666 4 года назад +8865

    I was in a situation where I had no choice. It was my wife at the time. We got into an argument and she became very violent towards me in front of our kids. I didn't want my kids to see it so I tried to take them outside. My son was two years old at the time and she tried to snatch him away from me using a lot of force. She could have hurt him really bad.
    My gut reaction was to go into protective mode. I backhanded her and she slid half way across the house. She called the police and we both went to jail because we both had signs of an altercation on us.
    She took out a domestic violence order on me so to protect myself I took one out on her. When we finally went to court the judge looked at my ex and told her that I had the right and responsibility to protect my children from anyone including her. Dismissed my charge and asked me if I still wanted to press charges on her but I dropped them. If the situation were the same I would do it again but only to protect my children.

    • @BM-fz9yc
      @BM-fz9yc 4 года назад +1215

      Jarrod Heglar I’m glad the judge sided with you there. I

    • @goonk6149
      @goonk6149 4 года назад +395

      You are a god good sir

    • @catsangblue
      @catsangblue 3 года назад +938

      That judge...is the good judge.

    • @Sam___Stubborn_____ig
      @Sam___Stubborn_____ig 3 года назад +399

      i wouldnt drop the charges if i were there tbh

    • @magical_pixie_horse7346
      @magical_pixie_horse7346 3 года назад +560

      That is rare. The father wins and deserved to. Awesome.

  • @jaywilson4520
    @jaywilson4520 3 года назад +10211

    "Rub one out... it's the champagne of victory." Greatest line ever!

  • @shimanoafro5110
    @shimanoafro5110 2 года назад +2952

    I love the woman who screamed 'Everyday!!!'
    She made bill's joke so poignant

    • @hunter423
      @hunter423 Год назад +63

      Maybe she did it because she knew there were cameras but luckily it added to his bit perfectly.

    • @Ten_Thousand_Locusts
      @Ten_Thousand_Locusts Год назад +72

      Let's all have a moment of silence for the poor sap that has to go home with that one

    • @lainarte
      @lainarte Год назад +64

      @@Ten_Thousand_Locusts Why? Can't she joke about it like we did?

    • @Ten_Thousand_Locusts
      @Ten_Thousand_Locusts Год назад +18

      @@lainarte was she joking though?

    • @LukeVincent-xt4dz
      @LukeVincent-xt4dz Год назад +2

      ​@@Ten_Thousand_LocustsThat's true we should find out

  • @jerami101
    @jerami101 6 лет назад +8496

    My wife was talking negative about my mother, each statement got worse and worse. When I defended my mother, and told her to stop talking smack about my mom, she asked me what good my mother ever taught me? I told her "She taught me to never hit a woman"! That shut her up!

    • @thebitgamer2425
      @thebitgamer2425 6 лет назад +77

      😂

    • @felixr.4177
      @felixr.4177 6 лет назад +200

      ooooooö my fucking God legend

    • @YiningDai
      @YiningDai 6 лет назад +150

      @@StandYourGroundHomestead I'm very concerned for the amount of Freud I feel from your comment. Are you sure you only love your mom as a parent?

    • @JulianTimMusic
      @JulianTimMusic 6 лет назад +73

      J Ron holy shit dude! You got serious issues

    • @AGreatDayForHockey29
      @AGreatDayForHockey29 6 лет назад +23

      sounds like a threat, i dont approve jerami

  • @alecmccarthy5562
    @alecmccarthy5562 5 лет назад +6424

    “Have a rough day at the factory, come home ‘tuna casserole?!’ And just start swinging” 😂

    • @izzyalice937
      @izzyalice937 5 лет назад +53

      Alec McCarthy i read this right as he said it wtfff

    • @ayy_lmao
      @ayy_lmao 5 лет назад +178

      The way he says tuna casserole always kills me lmao

    • @Maksymetzmj
      @Maksymetzmj 5 лет назад +29

      Hahaha I love Tuna Casserole

    • @loristnorton3723
      @loristnorton3723 5 лет назад +19

      @@Maksymetzmj do you swing after earing or before?

    • @tommydewitt8583
      @tommydewitt8583 5 лет назад +6

      F’n hilarious!

  • @brianpraul9758
    @brianpraul9758 3 года назад +11121

    Rule #1: Don’t try to heckle a comedian. It’s like trying to punch an MMA fighter

    • @rachekane
      @rachekane 3 года назад +773

      Rule #2: Don't try to punch an MMA fighter. It's like pulling a gun on a President

    • @dsakurai
      @dsakurai 3 года назад +629

      @@rachekane Rule #3: Don't try to pull a gun on a President. It's like trying to slap the Undertaker

    • @fabio5286
      @fabio5286 3 года назад +526

      @@dsakurai Rule #4: Don't try to slap the Undertaker. It's like trying to hug a snake

    • @lyrina3113
      @lyrina3113 3 года назад +458

      @@fabio5286 Rule #5: Don't try to hug a snake. It's like trying to avoid an ambush from Jake Roberts.

    • @yaelmurillo1863
      @yaelmurillo1863 3 года назад +406

      @@lyrina3113 Rule #6: Don’t try avoiding an ambush from Jake Roberts. It’s like racing against Usain Bolt.

  • @seanmulloy854
    @seanmulloy854 Год назад +787

    "You rub one out. It's the champagne of victory." Just an amazing piece of comedy. Punctuated with so many good lines.

    • @edithbannerman4
      @edithbannerman4 11 месяцев назад +1

      @Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?

    • @Seriously...576
      @Seriously...576 9 месяцев назад

      He is JUST AMAZING!!!!!

    • @danielul05
      @danielul05 7 месяцев назад

      Disgusting coomer

  • @loganbibb2271
    @loganbibb2271 7 лет назад +4155

    That shit about how his wife slapped him upside the head then said "were gonna discuss this later when you calm down" made me so mad and it didn't even happen to me lol

    • @rjones6801
      @rjones6801 6 лет назад +438

      A year or so ago my wife thought I was mad at her for some reason. I wasn't, but she had it in her head that I was. So of course her reaction was to be a complete asshole to me for her own imagined reasons. In the matter of maybe 2 minutes she asks why I'm mad, I say I'm not, there's slight back and forth, and then she slams the bathroom door in my face. I completely lost it like I've never done before. I actually ended up punching a hole through the door and basically breaking it in two. I've had some anger issues in the past, but never like this (and never towards a person - usually dumb shit like technology). Women are absolute masters of pushing our buttons - and all because she THOUGHT I was angry at her for something. It's like they're so complicated within their own heads that they can't actually control it, and therefore they're all crazy.

    • @foxvulpes8245
      @foxvulpes8245 6 лет назад +102

      Logan Bibb I got put through a cinder block wall once...needless to say I still won the fight. Once though, my ex-wife was neglecting me for like 2 weeks and tried to use boobs to manipulate me off what I was doing. When I told her I didn't have time for that, she got pissed and I didn't care. Tldr; She punched me in the back of the head so hard I saw stars....
      I threw my chair across the house and calmly said "if I did that to you, one of us would be going to jail right now... I suggest you go somewhere else right now."

    • @Radonatos
      @Radonatos 6 лет назад +165

      The thing is, if both were men (i.e. a friend or bro, repeatedly annoying you for attention) then you'd give him some 'attention' where it hurts, and afterwards both are still cool because they know it was deserved, the the whole issue is resolved.
      Women just lack those "you brought it upon yourself"-neurons and will probably pass any lie-detector tests when they claim "I didn't do ANYTHING!"

    • @margarethafalco63
      @margarethafalco63 6 лет назад +18

      Wow ... ya'll had bad experience

    • @theasian24601
      @theasian24601 6 лет назад +66

      Jay the Climber there is a comedian that kind of talks about that. His case for why Christians hate Gays, and his answer is because they found a loop hole. They don’t have to ever deal with women, and they get all the sex they want. Haha!

  • @Juggalo972
    @Juggalo972 5 лет назад +6124

    "There's a reason to hit everyone, JUST DONT DO IT. There's a reason to push an old man down a flight of stairs, JUST DON'T IT. Ain't nobody above an asswhopping." - Chris Rock

    • @lt.generalofsalt4273
      @lt.generalofsalt4273 5 лет назад +95

      Juggalo972 is do all of them🤔 down south we don’t play that shit. Man woman child .... raise em right or they’re getting slapped

    • @josephvonbulow1164
      @josephvonbulow1164 5 лет назад +6

      Nice 😊

    • @bright.light.sights933
      @bright.light.sights933 5 лет назад +72

      @Mildly Amusing Channel Asshole behavior needs to be punished. If it doesn't that shit is just going to get worse. People only change through pain.

    • @bright.light.sights933
      @bright.light.sights933 5 лет назад +34

      @Mildly Amusing Channel you can punish without violence, but sometimes a dude needs eat a elbow to know talking shit isn't acceptable

    • @jamesphillips3135
      @jamesphillips3135 5 лет назад +18

      Mildly Amusing Channel there’s a difference between discipline from abuse. Learn it.

  • @myrr99
    @myrr99 6 лет назад +9921

    it's weird seeing van gogh with two ears

  • @virginiapicker
    @virginiapicker 2 года назад +1749

    Still one of the greatest and most fearless comedy monologues of all time.

    • @Piitaa_Pain
      @Piitaa_Pain Год назад +14

      you wanna go to baskin robbins?

    • @MrMb167
      @MrMb167 Год назад +5

      @@Piitaa_Painyou buying?

    • @traceesmith01
      @traceesmith01 Год назад +22

      ​@@Piitaa_PainTUNA CASSEROLE? 😡👊👊💥

    • @SurgeryIsWoke
      @SurgeryIsWoke Год назад +6

      "How come you can't ask questions? If I got bit by a rattlesnake wouldn't you guys have some questions? How did it happen? Did ya not see it? Were ya fuckin with it?? Firemen put out a fire they don't just drive away afterwards they sift through the debris. How did it start? Here's an oily rag!"
      Hmm. Now what situation? In the present-day? Hmm. What's happening rn? Hm...

    • @--pussypatroll--
      @--pussypatroll-- Год назад

      Agree 100%. This was remarkable.

  • @Geralt--of--Rivia
    @Geralt--of--Rivia 5 лет назад +19874

    Real women don't hit men.

    • @crazy__cripple8704
      @crazy__cripple8704 5 лет назад +441

      i just finished witcher 3. playing through ng+ worth my/your time?

    • @Geralt--of--Rivia
      @Geralt--of--Rivia 5 лет назад +220

      @@crazy__cripple8704 Was that your first playthrough?

    • @crazy__cripple8704
      @crazy__cripple8704 5 лет назад +161

      @@Geralt--of--Rivia yup... including the 2 expansions

    • @Geralt--of--Rivia
      @Geralt--of--Rivia 5 лет назад +255

      @@crazy__cripple8704 Go for it, then. Witcher 3 has good replay value.

    • @----.__
      @----.__ 5 лет назад +248

      @@Geralt--of--Rivia You're a good bloke.

  • @davejohnson9989
    @davejohnson9989 3 года назад +5372

    The funniest line in this whole joke is “it’s gonna fuckin rust”. Gets me every time.

    • @classygary
      @classygary 3 года назад +75

      His dog shaking off the morning cold 🥶😎

    • @natwally7869
      @natwally7869 3 года назад +133

      Mine is ‘were you fucking with it?’ 😂

    • @bp67499
      @bp67499 3 года назад +33

      I love the whole set. Watched for years now and I still laugh just as hard

    • @adear2756
      @adear2756 3 года назад +92

      @@classygary The dog thing is actually a reference to an older joke, where the dog feeds off his anger, so like mans best friend doesn't know why dads mad but he's on his side so he's mad too. That's why the dug was shaking like a psycho, bill was raging and the dog was amping up right next to him lol

    • @arenasification
      @arenasification 3 года назад +3

      @@adear2756 exactly. was thinking about forwarding this to a friend and he wouldn't understand the dog thing, since he doesn't know the special :D

  • @JeffarryLounder
    @JeffarryLounder 6 лет назад +4433

    My uncle got beat up, violently, by his now ex-girlfriend. The police arrived, came inside, and arrested him. Even though she was clearly the one at the scene who beat him up, the cops still took my uncle away to a temporary cell. Luckily, he was only fined but still, that's just fucked up.

    • @aileenzhao7951
      @aileenzhao7951 6 лет назад +214

      yikes

    • @NobleNobbler
      @NobleNobbler 6 лет назад +685

      That's the shit going down now. The power women weild is outrageous. Your uncle, if arrested, is now part of a permanent database even if his records are "expunged" or "sealed".

    • @user-wl6bw3jl4n
      @user-wl6bw3jl4n 6 лет назад +193

      +Jeffarry
      Fined? Fined for what?

    • @JeffarryLounder
      @JeffarryLounder 6 лет назад +318

      Chris V He was fined with “harassment” or some shit like that. They knew they couldn’t just fine him for straight up assault, because he didn’t do it. So they aimed lower and accused him of harassing her.

    • @Add183
      @Add183 6 лет назад +490

      Your uncle should’ve gone to see a doctor recorded the injuries and sue the county for a miss handling of justice

  • @Simonio8
    @Simonio8 Год назад +692

    "Ladies can you at least admit that every ass kicking doesn't just fall out of the sky". I lost it man.

    • @abdielrosero9685
      @abdielrosero9685 10 месяцев назад +9

      😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂

    • @pringles_mcgee
      @pringles_mcgee 8 месяцев назад +3

      oh god I laughed so fuckin hard

  • @lekhapratap1652
    @lekhapratap1652 5 лет назад +4824

    I am a girl, I totally agree.
    Bill, The truthful savage.

    • @lekhapratap1652
      @lekhapratap1652 5 лет назад +46

      Came 4 the Cookies XD lol

    • @tdl487
      @tdl487 5 лет назад +32

      @@cameforthecookies6419 obliviously you don't get the humor but of well lol

    • @rhapsodyinglue8758
      @rhapsodyinglue8758 5 лет назад +17

      Are you single?

    • @rhapsodyinglue8758
      @rhapsodyinglue8758 5 лет назад +22

      That was clearly just a compliment for those who understand RUclips. "The over thinking is very strong with this one" lol

    • @cameforthecookies6419
      @cameforthecookies6419 5 лет назад +6

      *Noice* 😂 👌

  • @workingwomannyc4216
    @workingwomannyc4216 3 года назад +3739

    I’m a woman and I agree. I’ve seen (and heard) a lot of my male friends/colleagues get bullied by their partners. They took it because she’s a woman and these women had no empathy or respect especially when in public. Making fun of your man, demeaning him, yelling at him, slamming the door in their face wether in a room or car, whatever it is, it’s all disrespectful. There is a way to disagree. Don’t take advantage of this bias and abuse your position. Upsets me greatly because I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where both my mom and dad respected each other and argued like grown ups. Shameful what I’ve seen time and time again.

    • @ACertainGuy0
      @ACertainGuy0 2 года назад +14

      I've never been more irritated than when people pretend to know what Equality is. when most people claim "equality" when it suits their agenda, whatever it may be. Equality is equality, a man is equal to a woman and vice versa, and no other way.

    • @ReptilianAnusWizzard
      @ReptilianAnusWizzard 2 года назад +11

      @@ACertainGuy0 equallity is when you punch her just as hard as any other guy

    • @rzwitdauncut
      @rzwitdauncut 2 года назад +82

      im never letting sum chick ever disrespect me in public. if she wants to do in public everything can be handled right then and there

    • @darrenfleming7901
      @darrenfleming7901 2 года назад +73

      I think the issue is people see that most physical abuse in relationship is done by men and so they think abuse is one sided towards men. When you take into account verbal abuse and emotional manipulation it isn't that one sided anymore. Also, it's an outdated mindset to only chalk it up to the difference in physical strength, because if that were the case then people could just walk away from abusive relationships, but they can't because their a psychological aspect to it that boxes them in.

    • @tahmidjahin179
      @tahmidjahin179 2 года назад +16

      Would you like to go out on a coffee date someday?

  • @IckyMcLicky
    @IckyMcLicky 5 лет назад +7379

    He's not wrong, lol. I love my gf very much but sometimes when she is losing an argument, she will bring up things that dont even pertain to our conversation....just to get an edge and sometimes it's really hurtful shit.

    • @jim2245
      @jim2245 5 лет назад +83

      Why I carry a Zippo 😉

    • @anypercentdeathless
      @anypercentdeathless 5 лет назад +21

      Tots m'gots.

    • @AngelicBreath1111
      @AngelicBreath1111 5 лет назад +376

      You might need counseling or break up, depending on how terrible the things she says are.

    • @afterburned06
      @afterburned06 5 лет назад +565

      Respect goes both ways, just let her know you dont need that shit and it needs to stop. Better to be single and rub one out than be with a woman who doesn't respect you.

    • @Rick_Sanchez_C137_
      @Rick_Sanchez_C137_ 5 лет назад +37

      Icky Mclicky
      Dump the bitch!

  • @RhapsodyinGlue
    @RhapsodyinGlue 9 месяцев назад +175

    That woman who yelled “everyday” had one of those moments like in any sport where you have that magical shot without realizing it. The stars aligned

    • @AiMinator
      @AiMinator 3 месяца назад +3

      OR she was a stooge conveniently placed.. people can't see wood for the tree's

    • @RhapsodyinGlue
      @RhapsodyinGlue 3 месяца назад

      Did you know that newton had a friend that kicked the tree for him?

    • @mickeynotmouse
      @mickeynotmouse 2 месяца назад

      ​@@AiMinator Might even have been Nia

  • @ggates5371
    @ggates5371 4 года назад +7675

    Ah yes, the classic “I’m gonna piss him off, then play victim when he gets mad” routine.

  • @doggieGZ
    @doggieGZ 8 лет назад +5838

    Oh man, the shit he said about women losing arguments is so true.

    • @usarmyfl1
      @usarmyfl1 6 лет назад +508

      Oh yea.. They will start bringing up past issues which have no relation to the current argument because they have nothing else on you. As he said, you've won then.

    • @Charmer4856
      @Charmer4856 6 лет назад +23

      I LOVE IT!!!!

    • @prw56
      @prw56 6 лет назад +276

      After I noticed that my mother does this with me, my sister, and my father, I lost a massive amount of respect for her. It makes her look childish, and it prolongs the issue that started the debate in the first place.

    • @VuongNgocHieu99
      @VuongNgocHieu99 6 лет назад +109

      my mother did this ..and its exactly why my whole family hates her .

    • @garintj1547
      @garintj1547 6 лет назад +11

      Hiếu Vương Ngọc healthy relationship

  • @aliquidgaming1068
    @aliquidgaming1068 6 лет назад +3555

    My mother is a Hispanic. She was beat and abused by my father. She left him eventually. However she tells me this...
    Don't ever hit a women. You're a man and you're much stronger. However if a girl thinks she can just hit you over and over again cause she is a girl and can get away with it or wants to fight you like a man then you fight her like a man. Don't let any female place their hands on you like that.

    • @aasdfaafa7110
      @aasdfaafa7110 5 лет назад +37

      Why would she tell u the latter part? seems to have nothing to do with what she was going through

    • @aliquidgaming1068
      @aliquidgaming1068 5 лет назад +183

      @@aasdfaafa7110 she told me that cause she is sensible and knows a man and women should defend themselves. She doesn't think a man should ever place their hands on a female but if a female hits a man then that man has a right to defend themselves

    • @imlookinatyou5251
      @imlookinatyou5251 5 лет назад +133

      you have a good mother

    • @a46475
      @a46475 5 лет назад +16

      Your mom is an idiot.

    • @zakaryfoley1801
      @zakaryfoley1801 5 лет назад +45

      a46475 Care to explain

  • @northernking4787
    @northernking4787 2 года назад +312

    “Talking about hitting women sweet heart” gets me every time!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

  • @HiddenTigerObviNinja
    @HiddenTigerObviNinja 3 года назад +6216

    I can't put it into words how happy I am that somebody finally said it. I've had ex's literally throw my own mother's death back into my face during an argument. If I ever even came close to saying something like that to a female people would burn my house down. If we truly want to be equals we need to address both sides of the curtain.

    • @ihsahnakerfeldt9280
      @ihsahnakerfeldt9280 3 года назад +276

      God that's so fucked up. Imagine throwing the death of a close one into someone's face just because you're angry with them. The problem with the feminist cult is that it wants to have it both ways: equality for the good stuff (rights and privileges) but inequality for the bad stuff and the responsibility (e.g. being fair game for a beat up). They always oscillate between these two positions according to the situation so that they always end up with the advantage.

    • @ALJ9000
      @ALJ9000 3 года назад +91

      You gotta get those bitche$ out, they are way too toxic to be involved with

    • @TheTraditionalGolfer
      @TheTraditionalGolfer 3 года назад +61

      I have this everytime i argue with my partner she can be very toxic......

    • @crystaleunoia3974
      @crystaleunoia3974 3 года назад +159

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 It's not right for a woman to beat a man just like it's not right for a man to beat a woman. I see the double standard when it comes to women being violent towards men and it's disgusting, but just because women want equality shouldn't mean they are "fair game to for a beat up" because nobody should be beating anyone at all. Period. Nobody should be considered "fair game" because there shouldn't be a game in the first place. If you think that it's justifiable that people should be beaten for reasons other than protection, then you're siding with the women who get away with being violent towards men. I agree with your other statements, but I just wanted to put in my two cents on that one.

    • @marcant6223
      @marcant6223 3 года назад +9

      Bill has done a thing about equality like that too. Worth watching.

  • @chargersfan0560
    @chargersfan0560 5 лет назад +6229

    “IM NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND SHES NAGGING ME!” 🤣 bill ur the best!!!

    • @seanscanlon9067
      @seanscanlon9067 5 лет назад +56

      In fairness the woman who shouted out actually said....
      "It's her right".

    • @syedrahim6199
      @syedrahim6199 5 лет назад +33

      @@seanscanlon9067 ahhh that makes sense. But kinda see how Bill cant hear her right its far from him. Still that made a wonderful impromptu joke from Bill!

    • @TheMilitant_1
      @TheMilitant_1 5 лет назад +76

      "Talking about hitting women, sweetheart, AND I THINK YOU JUST ADDED ANOTHER REASON!" 😂😂😂

    • @ihsahnakerfeldt9280
      @ihsahnakerfeldt9280 4 года назад +17

      @@seanscanlon9067 No she didn't. She stressed the first word, which does not match the statement you wrote.

    • @seanscanlon9067
      @seanscanlon9067 4 года назад

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 So what do you think was the first word there?

  • @naimalovespizza5377
    @naimalovespizza5377 6 лет назад +770

    OMG, I died when the woman in the audience yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    • @erikbaran7197
      @erikbaran7197 6 лет назад +9

      Naimal - The feeling's mutual, hon.

    • @Mistanyycguy
      @Mistanyycguy 6 лет назад +26

      Later that night, her husband beat her ass lol

    • @kingjaven13
      @kingjaven13 6 лет назад +1

      NaimaLovesPizza that was classic

    • @DIZAZZO
      @DIZAZZO 6 лет назад +2

      NaimaLovesPizza
      And how they brought you back from the dead to comment this?

  • @westcoastkidd17
    @westcoastkidd17 Год назад +190

    Could be the best live bit in comedy history when you take into consideration the material, the wording, the crowd interaction, and the overall execution. Bill executed his material like a seasoned vet and the woman who yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!" was a gift from the comedy gods because it fit so perfectly with his act. This is stand-up comedy at its finest.

    • @ChildrensRightsFirst947
      @ChildrensRightsFirst947 11 месяцев назад

      I just want to know if the same people applauding this clip would have the same reaction if this was a female comedian saying similar things about hitting men. "But what did he do that led to it?" and all that.
      Also even if they were meant to be jokes, it's easy to how they could have influence in a world where abuse of men by women isn't taken seriously enough.

    • @MinosML
      @MinosML 8 месяцев назад

      ​​@@ChildrensRightsFirst947yes, and I'd go on a limb that it would take much less finesse and comedic skill in order to pull that off like Bill here
      Hitting men is always funny, by default, no context needed
      Not saying I agree, just saying that's the way it is, men are the disposable sex, once they reach adulthood.

    • @danielul05
      @danielul05 7 месяцев назад

      Nicely said

    • @myweirdsecondchannelwithap9070
      @myweirdsecondchannelwithap9070 6 месяцев назад

      ⁠@@ChildrensRightsFirst947no, we would not. As it:
      - would not take the same courage/bravery
      - would not hold up the same
      - would not be funny (for multiple reasons)

    • @ReadChuckar
      @ReadChuckar 6 месяцев назад

      @@ChildrensRightsFirst947 that's exactly what he's saying.
      The woman is doing a whole lot of things to antagonize the man: AND he's not hitting her.

  • @MacBorin
    @MacBorin 5 лет назад +1797

    One important point that is rarely talked about is: Men are quite often victims of domestic violence, too. And women are quite often the abuser.
    In the 2 1/2 years I worked as a paramedic i saw 6 victims of domestic violence.
    2 were women who were abused by men, one of them later died of her horrible injuries.
    2 were a lesbian couple who had kicked the shit out of each other.
    2 were men who were abused by women. One of these men had been draged straight out of a drug rehab facility by his girlfriend, forcefully filled up with vodka until he couldn't defend himself anymore and then repeatedly whiped with a powercord, burned and hit with a pressing iron and stabed in the leg with a screwdriver.
    Guess who got made fun of for beeing pathetic weeklings. Guess who has next to no safehouses and help programs to escape from the violence.
    This is just my personal observation and has no empirical value whatsoever! But I think any program about domestic violence, that concludes "Men shouldn't hit women" isn't addressing the whole problem.

    • @phuck8627
      @phuck8627 5 лет назад +37

      are you sure that you didn't also see two who were gay men who beat each other?

    • @skepticmonkey6923
      @skepticmonkey6923 5 лет назад +183

      @@phuck8627 Gay dudes beat each other every night

    • @jelindy5
      @jelindy5 5 лет назад +17

      @@skepticmonkey6923 hahaha classic

    • @keepitreal1999
      @keepitreal1999 5 лет назад +18

      So sad. No Matter what gender. Keep YO Hands to yourselves ladies! No matter how badly you feel betrayed! Keep It pushin or fall victim to what they say about US! 😎
      We need to learn how to DEAL! Without D extra DRAMA!!! Life to short People!😉 Be true to YOU! #Dont Hit Unless U Want 2 B Hit BACK!!!

    • @damebucolique
      @damebucolique 5 лет назад +56

      Exactly, because gender don't make assholes. You have assholes everywhere in every faces, and it's ridiculous to separate this kind of thing like that.

  • @drake5118
    @drake5118 5 лет назад +693

    8:00 "Come home 'TUNA CASSEROLE!' and just start swingin.." 😂😂😂😂 I'm in tears

    • @yaneyd93
      @yaneyd93 5 лет назад +6

      Can someone explain this to me ? I'm not a native english speaker. i wanna know what it means, i bet it's hilarious.

    • @drake5118
      @drake5118 5 лет назад +26

      @@yaneyd93 it doesn't really mean anything in particular, primarily just a piece of dark humor out of how America's domestic abuse can literally stem from the simplest of things, e.g. "Tuna casserole for dinner"

    • @yaneyd93
      @yaneyd93 5 лет назад +26

      Thank you, i have just googled Tuna casserole and now i get it :D

    • @molostone8946
      @molostone8946 5 лет назад

      @@yaneyd93 dimwit

    • @traviscrowell8946
      @traviscrowell8946 5 лет назад +9

      Molo Stone racist

  • @qymaruh
    @qymaruh 5 лет назад +2138

    Cause of Bill Burr, I've started winning arguments.
    He's right gents, Bob and Weave

    • @stonedjesus9887
      @stonedjesus9887 5 лет назад +40

      @Charles Martel even tho you are right 99.999999999999999%, there is the VERY rare time that a man will win and that's why he's named Chuck Norris...

    • @saucegodnas7318
      @saucegodnas7318 5 лет назад +3

      @Charles Martel Bob and Weave.

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 5 лет назад +47

      The moment she goes rogue, you win. Do the Colin Kaepernick and take a knee.

    • @fiftystate1388
      @fiftystate1388 5 лет назад +10

      @Charles Martel A "draw" is a win sometimes. At least she stopped talking about it.

    • @fiftystate1388
      @fiftystate1388 5 лет назад +1

      @@stonedjesus9887 Hey Adolph, you might like to hear how I stopped my ex-wife from calling me "The biggest asshole who was ever born." It's short and it worked.

  • @The_ZeroLine
    @The_ZeroLine Год назад +63

    “Worked like a charm. Worked like a charm!”
    “Even hockey has two minutes for instigating.” An underrated hilarious line.

  • @uncle_cezar
    @uncle_cezar 3 года назад +2843

    "Are you the idiot that walked in halfway through the special?" 😂
    Imagine paying to watch a special and getting called out for your BS in front of the crowd.

    • @denimchicken104
      @denimchicken104 3 года назад +17

      Pretty sure tapings are free

    • @wokeil
      @wokeil 3 года назад +91

      @@denimchicken104 Nah everyone would come and ruin the show

    • @redrich7679
      @redrich7679 3 года назад +23

      The dude roasted a random person lol I would of left

    • @vanimaladventures
      @vanimaladventures 3 года назад +27

      @@denimchicken104 Narrator: "They aren't."

    • @padraigdonelan
      @padraigdonelan 3 года назад +72

      @@redrich7679 its a comedy set. gotta have atleast a little thick skin to not get offended every 12 seconds

  • @StonyRC
    @StonyRC 7 лет назад +18587

    "Rub one out like a man, it's the champagne of victory" - GENIUS!

  • @dollaz808
    @dollaz808 5 лет назад +5668

    Poor Johnny Depp. If only more people watched Bill Burr...

    • @soulreaper5510
      @soulreaper5510 4 года назад +10

      @@monicapyle id do more than that

    • @ComicWriter-ml3qt
      @ComicWriter-ml3qt 4 года назад +31

      James Bond James you’d fuck anything that isn’t nailed down

    • @soulreaper5510
      @soulreaper5510 4 года назад +8

      @@ComicWriter-ml3qt 😂😂😂

    • @Moonshine449
      @Moonshine449 4 года назад +10

      @Jolyne Cujoh that's what he's saying

    • @noPilled3045
      @noPilled3045 4 года назад +27

      @@Moonshine449 follow the story he never truly hit her.

  • @alanw505
    @alanw505 2 года назад +201

    After 22 years of marriage I discovered that winning an argument just makes your wife madder.

    • @bowmaj8666
      @bowmaj8666 8 месяцев назад +30

      It doesn't even have to be an argument. It can just be a minor disagreement, and she'll be mad at you if you're right and she's wrong. It doesn't even need to be important.
      "No, Burt Reynolds did not play Richard, Monica's boyfriend in Friends! That was Tom Selleck!"
      She Googled it, and wouldn't talk to me for hours!

    • @lespectator4962
      @lespectator4962 6 месяцев назад +13

      That's a maturity issue on her side more than anything.

    • @krimpoo
      @krimpoo 3 месяца назад +4

      @@lespectator4962 ...agreed. but why is it so damn common?

    • @krimpoo
      @krimpoo 3 месяца назад +4

      Im 30 years in and EVERYTHING makes her madder and defensive and on and on and on.
      Example?
      When we do things together she says 'we dont do enough things together'.
      Any women out there reading this right now? Please explain to me how complaining about what you're doing is a reason to complain about what you're doing when you want more of what you're doing? Please explain to me how saying this shit makes me want to do things with her?
      I know men and women are different...but im getting too old to put up with the bullshit anymore.
      Women...you want to stay with a guy? Stop fucking complaining all the time and show gratitude for what you have in the relationship. if you arent getting what you want from the relationship...LEAVE.

    • @lespectator4962
      @lespectator4962 3 месяца назад +1

      @@krimpoo Some people are just not raised, they grow up missing a lot of things and they get too stubborn/afraid/stupid as they get older to take a hint about making their own effort to seek out the life lessons they might be missing.

  • @peteeastwood1635
    @peteeastwood1635 5 лет назад +925

    Q:"Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?"
    A: "Being right makes me happy, darlin"

    • @fiftystate1388
      @fiftystate1388 5 лет назад +18

      "Right or wrong, I'm right."

    • @afmghost1759
      @afmghost1759 4 года назад +16

      Her: Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?
      Me: Are you threatening me, master jedi?

  • @DCul
    @DCul 3 года назад +3677

    The headphones story is absolutely relatable. That shit is insane. Poke the bear like 10 times and then when the bear snaps they go, "Why are you so mad?" That or a similar stupid response.

    • @sohailsayeed9361
      @sohailsayeed9361 3 года назад +191

      agreed! it shows a painful degree of immaturity. That's just as petty and immature as walking around blasting the music, maybe even more!

    • @hoosier3060
      @hoosier3060 3 года назад +138

      Gaslighting.

    • @ghost245353
      @ghost245353 3 года назад +14

      He pissed her off because he was being petty. She demanded to talk and he blew up.

    • @lalanagunarathne7298
      @lalanagunarathne7298 3 года назад +204

      @@ghost245353 she was petty first about the dog walking.

    • @pumpkinlyd4409
      @pumpkinlyd4409 3 года назад +54

      Unless someone hits you, you don't hit them, unless you are totally simple and incapable of a grown up response.

  • @tayeelshaikh9228
    @tayeelshaikh9228 7 лет назад +287

    "We're talking about hitting women sweetheart....and I think you just added another reason." Lol haha that was one of the best comebacks towards a heckler.

    • @leftheodo
      @leftheodo 6 лет назад +1

      Tayeb Elshaikh You should see the blind hecler and how bill turned it up. It's amazing

    • @KandelaGC
      @KandelaGC 6 лет назад

      lmao, I think she wasn't talking to him.

  • @jacksondowdle5217
    @jacksondowdle5217 Год назад +48

    I've listened to this bit dozens of times but it still never gets old

  • @NostalgiaMan
    @NostalgiaMan 3 года назад +13687

    The most important moment of male progress in the last 20 years.

    • @hiwayhighway9925
      @hiwayhighway9925 3 года назад +253

      Serious as a heart attack. How to argue saved my sanity and marriage

    • @quentinparhiala9415
      @quentinparhiala9415 3 года назад +18

      Your right about that

    • @fabioveloso3469
      @fabioveloso3469 3 года назад +5

      I H A T E Y O U

    • @boston_nsca
      @boston_nsca 3 года назад +48

      @TipsyBrothers only real beta males call other people on the internet who they don't know beta males.

    • @MA-yu2ss
      @MA-yu2ss 3 года назад +30

      @@boston_nsca ironic of you to say

  • @darnell7871
    @darnell7871 4 года назад +1677

    “TUNA CASSEROLE!”
    I don’t why but it’s always that line that got me busting out laughing 💀💀😭😭😂😂😂

    • @josephleonard6695
      @josephleonard6695 3 года назад +22

      08:00 😂😂😂

    • @tomsmusic2049
      @tomsmusic2049 3 года назад +5

      Hahaha, same. I came to watch just for that bit

    • @asdasd-rp9hx
      @asdasd-rp9hx 3 года назад +6

      @@LetsUseLogic131 casserole is usually seen as leftovers and usually microwaved. it being tuna makes it even worse. not much to explain if you think about it for 2 seconds

    • @Oozywolf
      @Oozywolf 3 года назад +9

      Lmfao to this day might be the funniest 2 seconds of any stand-up comedy. Still the best overall segment of all time.

    • @NGSeverything
      @NGSeverything 3 года назад +3

      I'm Wheezing

  • @ArmandoMPR
    @ArmandoMPR 6 лет назад +3166

    Lol I love the chick that screams “EVERYDAY”

    • @369pendulum
      @369pendulum 6 лет назад +59

      I wish my girl would say that shit while sitting next to me. Look at the type of shit women can get away with!

    • @369pendulum
      @369pendulum 6 лет назад +69

      Daij Shut yo sexy ass up

    • @DracoGangLive
      @DracoGangLive 6 лет назад +105

      @@369pendulum
      This escalated quickly..

    • @jackspediceye9961
      @jackspediceye9961 6 лет назад +13

      I would like a friend like her

    • @sdry
      @sdry 6 лет назад +3

      perfect timing.

  • @gokuxavi270
    @gokuxavi270 2 года назад +52

    Love how this bit has a woman positively heckle and another woman negatively heckle and they both just work great

  • @zoeylolers1080
    @zoeylolers1080 6 лет назад +3536

    As a woman I can fully agree that there are many reasons to hit a woman

    • @lsurech8559
      @lsurech8559 6 лет назад +220

      Zoey Lolers as Female myself I agree. Especially those who are emotionally imbalanced, loud, lack of manners and couldn’t respond with reasons but emotions.

    • @lsurech8559
      @lsurech8559 6 лет назад +91

      Thelondonbadger have some faith and you will encounter a few good ones in life

    • @neptune3569
      @neptune3569 6 лет назад +12

      No 1. Reason: playing fortnite battle royale

    • @flatperson1306
      @flatperson1306 6 лет назад +44

      @Daij I found one

    • @McDiculous50
      @McDiculous50 6 лет назад +9

      @a wild baka good one. She just gave another reason why to want to hit a woman

  • @pcolt4
    @pcolt4 3 года назад +3723

    Bill Burr is such a freak genius at wading into that gray area along the socially taboo and verboten and then just toying with that boundary in a hilarious way.

    • @laynaTheLobster
      @laynaTheLobster 3 года назад +43

      I mean, you're right, but why is talking about how to handle relationships properly taboo? I think that Bill Burr has a lot of good social commentary too.

    • @purplegoopguy
      @purplegoopguy 3 года назад +37

      My guy dives across the line and pulls it with him

    • @Travelling..Bottle..Digger
      @Travelling..Bottle..Digger 3 года назад +3

      yeah, he blew my mind 🖐👀

    • @trentjacobs3957
      @trentjacobs3957 3 года назад +1

      Burr, like Greg Giraldo are part of a very small group of comedians that can not only pull of pedophile jokes but, actually open with it....and nail it. Burr might not b the GOAT but....he might b.

    • @osio7528
      @osio7528 3 года назад +5

      @@trentjacobs3957 he definitely is the GOAT

  • @nickcifarelli8887
    @nickcifarelli8887 5 лет назад +2451

    Bill Burr Sur, on behalf of all Men the world over, we salute you

  • @midnightlupin1
    @midnightlupin1 2 года назад +167

    100%. I had a buddy of mine actually got married last year. Didn't even last a fucking year because this.... Cretin he married, was as unstable as an out of balance scale. This woman destroyed him and he just took it all. When I was living with them, multiple times I thought to myself, "I wonder how she'd feel if I did the exact same to her?" About 3 months of that crap and I decided to move out. She kept needling me on why I was leaving, I told her she couldn't handle the truth, and low and behold, I was right. I didn't get a quarter of the way through my explanation and she loses her damn mind! It was ridiculous. Thankfully, my friend filed for divorce and is suing her for physical, mental and emotional damage. It's literally an open and shut case cuz I'm one of 5 witnesses

    • @jonathanjrgensen6774
      @jonathanjrgensen6774 Год назад +2

      Glad you both got out - How did the court case go if you don't mind me asking?

    • @midnightlupin1
      @midnightlupin1 Год назад +18

      @@jonathanjrgensen6774 Sadly he went back to her and dropped the divorce. He's no longer my friend but I did manage to get a settlement and she lost her job in the process of it all going down

    • @theultimatemoderate8165
      @theultimatemoderate8165 Год назад

      @@midnightlupin1 You should try to tap that thing, bet it grabs back. Frankly it was the only thing that held us together. And I was right, so far every relationship after was not as good in the sack. Go for it, I'll bet she's up for a way to get back at her ex even if you're on her enemies list.

    • @midnightlupin1
      @midnightlupin1 Год назад

      @@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather put my genitals through a wood chipper than touch the lecherous troglodyte.

    • @midnightlupin1
      @midnightlupin1 11 месяцев назад

      @@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather slather my genitals in honey and insert them into a box with poisonous hornets than put them anywhere near that. She's hideous on both the outside and inside. Plus I'd rather not get gonoherpasyphillus 27.

  • @madMARTYNmarsh1981
    @madMARTYNmarsh1981 6 лет назад +2471

    An ex of mine once stabbed me with a shard from an ash tray, the same heavy, glass ashtray she'd tried to crush my skull with.
    I hit her once (more slap than punch to be fair) and knocked her out, it was snap hits not pre-meditated... I called the police and an ambulance. I went to jail, not her. When CCTV proved that she instigated and followed me all the way from town to home (That's a 3.5 mile walk) I was released but she wasn't prosecuted, nope. I'm still seen as the bad one for hitting her but you know what? I'd do it again but this time I'd do it earlier because then I wouldn't have to put up with the side effects of the injuries she inflicted!

    • @Draigon18
      @Draigon18 6 лет назад +133

      who said ur seen as the bad one? the majority of society with these details of the story would not see u as the bad one. try moving. ive done it 20 or so times. get perspectives from all sorts of people. i enjoyed it atleast.

    • @jasonbenoit1888
      @jasonbenoit1888 6 лет назад +30

      Martyn, if you can't dance with a bull, don't get in the ring. In other words, this is something you can learn from. And that is that you don't know how to deescalate, which is under your control as the stronger sex, if you choose.

    • @vonStalhein2
      @vonStalhein2 6 лет назад +228

      @@jasonbenoit1888 are you a little fucked in the head, mate?

    • @jasonbenoit1888
      @jasonbenoit1888 6 лет назад +3

      Just dealt with bullys all my life and know how to shut it down. I also know we often are speaking into a mirror most of the time we speak, @vonStalhein2. If you truly are interested, here is the late great George Thompson. Refute him if you can, but I already know that you can't honestly do that. ruclips.net/video/btBw70HAys4/видео.html

    • @jasonbenoit1888
      @jasonbenoit1888 6 лет назад +1

      Sure they do, if you know how to use them right, either to flee (run), or tackle, etc. (I mean, what else would you use, thoughts?) The best muscle to use though is the most powerful one, the tongue. See the link I posted above for an introduction on how to deal with anyone.

  • @Hoteluu
    @Hoteluu 4 года назад +2372

    If I'm ever in the court for hitting a woman, I want bill burr as my lawyer.

    • @Latitz
      @Latitz 4 года назад +50

      And imagine if judge was woman there. 😂

    • @MidoReigh
      @MidoReigh 3 года назад +72

      He won't represent you if you hit a woman. That's the whole point.

    • @armadylsmage6658
      @armadylsmage6658 3 года назад +62

      @@MidoReigh his whole point is you shouldn’t just dismiss everything and focus on result. You have to actually look at what happened and lead to that point.
      He even says it “you cut out the build up and you’re left with the result. It’s crazy”

    • @OiVinn-eq1ml
      @OiVinn-eq1ml 3 года назад +1

      Lol

    • @pr1me840
      @pr1me840 3 года назад +3

      He will need a real law license not one from community college.

  • @kalilstukes2729
    @kalilstukes2729 3 года назад +782

    the woman yelling ANSWER HIM was the best way i seen somebody turn awkward crowd input into what i assume was a standing ovation

    • @BenAri18
      @BenAri18 3 года назад +29

      i was so confused at that part whyd he roast her like that

    • @roelfkromhout
      @roelfkromhout 3 года назад +30

      @@BenAri18 Yeah, now that I'm watching it again I think she actually said that in support of Burr.

    • @BenAri18
      @BenAri18 3 года назад +37

      @@roelfkromhout yeh same i was like bruh im pretty sure she was w ur bill

    • @georgewashington5746
      @georgewashington5746 3 года назад +17

      @@BenAri18 because he was bombing and went after her

    • @fireboltinc5712
      @fireboltinc5712 3 года назад +26

      I honestly think she was a plant from Bill. The timing was fucking priceless.

  • @alittlecreepywhenyou
    @alittlecreepywhenyou 6 месяцев назад +17

    "I've begun to turn this franchise around." One of the wisest statements Bill has ever made.

  • @srettamevilabeing1323
    @srettamevilabeing1323 4 года назад +1377

    Bill: "I just ghosted her"
    Every other Man on the planet: "I gotta tell ya, worked like a charm"

    • @stephaanjacques2269
      @stephaanjacques2269 3 года назад +5

      gotta love the 420 likes. Lets hope it lasts

    • @ararune3734
      @ararune3734 2 года назад +1

      In fact, ghosting a woman solves all your life problems, I've tested if a few times myself. I'll take the champagne of victory over needless migraine

  • @killaseason82
    @killaseason82 6 лет назад +1227

    My ex pulled a gun on me i wrestled it away from her n called the cops n they took me to jail when she the one threatened my life smh

    • @puddinportals
      @puddinportals 6 лет назад +39

      Omg wtf ☹☹

    • @nelsongaskell4061
      @nelsongaskell4061 6 лет назад +55

      Assuming you weren’t threatening her before that then that’s so stupid

    • @killaseason82
      @killaseason82 6 лет назад +156

      We were broken up she was scheduled to move out so she went thru my phone n saw i was talking to another chic which she could have just asked me cuz we were broken up so i walk in the house n she had my gun in her hand n pulled the trigger but luckily the dumb bitch didn't no how to work the safety n it dry fired smh

    • @WattWireNet
      @WattWireNet 6 лет назад +150

      So the morals of the story are ALWAYS password protect your phone and never teach bitches how guns work.

    • @Nakai865
      @Nakai865 6 лет назад +5

      @@killaseason82 my god dood i think u should just show the police what to do

  • @quentinwooten30
    @quentinwooten30 5 лет назад +1105

    When woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, she really does. When a MAN says he doesn't want to talk damnit he doesn't want to talk.

    • @ChimericWhite
      @ChimericWhite 5 лет назад +94

      When a woman says “I don’t want to talk about it” I’ll ask if they’re sure. They still say “no”, well I’m out of there I’m not playing games. They’re only hurting themselves when they inevitably say some bullshit later about how nobody keeps in touch and makes sure they’re alright or anything.

    • @CIorox_BIeach
      @CIorox_BIeach 5 лет назад +13

      I actually don't want to talk about it. Mom didn't teach me how to talk about stuff.

    • @itsamemario6539
      @itsamemario6539 5 лет назад +8

      @@CIorox_BIeach dude I dont know if you see this or not but my mom is always like messing me up amd when I am going to do something that hurts her because I cant stand her like leave the house (I know that she doesn't want me to leave and one time I keep asking her if she wanted me to stay she was saying like YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT I DONT CARE but I was persistent and she finaly said I dont want you to leave ) another time I just left the house and she told my brother to tell me to come back wtf is wrong with women I love them but they are hurting my feelings so much ) thanks for everyone listening to this I just wanted to tell it !

    • @prettybabyface7313
      @prettybabyface7313 5 лет назад +2

      Its a me Mario I’m a woman and i totally feel what you are saying!! We’re sorry ok lol

    • @lockandloadlikehell
      @lockandloadlikehell 5 лет назад

      @@prettybabyface7313 it's not right, and it hurts :(

  • @terrancemitchell3256
    @terrancemitchell3256 Год назад +25

    “ we’re talking about hitting women sweetheart , and I think you just added another reason “ 😭💀

  • @TariqKhan-xt5qs
    @TariqKhan-xt5qs 7 лет назад +3238

    Tuna Casserole and start swinging, That was hilarious.

    • @bigsauceboss4234
      @bigsauceboss4234 6 лет назад +40

      This whole video is hilarious

    • @nickarry
      @nickarry 6 лет назад +20

      that was the funniest bit of the entire clip. howling!

    • @NEVproductions2012
      @NEVproductions2012 6 лет назад +2

      I just wanted to be your 500th like =)

    • @rickeyjones5945
      @rickeyjones5945 6 лет назад +4

      Tariq Khan omg i have never seen thisbskit but damn he had me rolling bob and weeve you already won rub one out like a man its like champagne yo your victory.

    • @kobeanderson6718
      @kobeanderson6718 6 лет назад +1

      I just started laughing and giggling so much I was crying 😂

  • @nickm8874
    @nickm8874 6 лет назад +660

    “Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating” 😆

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 6 лет назад +16

      Bill wasn't lying. That's an actual penalty in hockey.

    • @nickm8874
      @nickm8874 6 лет назад +11

      Jason Dyrkacz yes I know. It just amuses me greatly as an analogy

  • @michaeldalesandros6304
    @michaeldalesandros6304 5 лет назад +1266

    Bill on stage: "women, how many times have you thought about slapping your man around the head this week?"
    Bill in audience: "EVERYDAAAAAY"

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 3 года назад +10

      Thats what i thought too lol

    • @Demonezia
      @Demonezia 3 года назад +63

      Plot twist, the girl that yelled it was his girlfriend LOL

    • @deerwoodmedia
      @deerwoodmedia 3 года назад +5

      I always wonder if that person was a plant in the crowd to make the joke.

    • @Erazzzer
      @Erazzzer 3 года назад +2

      @@deerwoodmedia Yes it is. Because the joke after the yell is always perfectly written for the answer being yelled.

    • @Monkey006
      @Monkey006 3 года назад +7

      @@Erazzzer Or, Bill is just an incredibly witty guy? Did you not pick that up from the slathering he gave the "answer him!" woman in the crowd? Lol.

  • @sirriffsalot4158
    @sirriffsalot4158 4 месяца назад +1

    I keep coming back to this every now and then.
    It really is one of the greatest comedy bits ever written.

  • @SussedRage
    @SussedRage 3 года назад +2390

    I had an insanely stupid relationship where the girl was taking anger management counselling before she met me.. She'd lose it at the tiniest thing and hit/scratch me often multiple times, obviously every reason being my fault. I lost count of how many times I tried to explain there was no need to attack me, no need to get like that. I was even having to lie and invent reasons for face scratches to cover what she was doing (but people knew obviously). More to the point, SHE fully knew what she was like and was aware she had a major problem, with previous men as well (hence the counselling) - yet obviously when she was flipping out all that logic went out the window...
    We split and stupidly I agreed to meet in a bar - a whiles in to the catch up we're talking about if we'd seen any other people and I said no can't be bothered.. I can see her building up..building up.. She grabs my phone off the table, runs out (bar staff, even doorman looking at her like she's a banshee) I'm chasing her across a car park saying please give it back and she gets in her car saying F you you'll get your phone back in pieces in a bag I'll post it to you asshole. The entire time I'm thinking how can someone be this much of a dick, how can she do this type of shit constantly... I'm begging her I need my phone for work, explaining she's stealing my property just please give it back and you'll never hear from me again, and she's like 'fuck you you're not having it' starts the car and puts it in gear - I snap finally, lose it open the door and drag her out, saying I just want my fucking phone...
    All this is being caught on cctv. A few passers by call police as well. They literally come racing over, cuff me... I'm stood there calm she's in utter hysterics balling. The one thing I said was "are you happy now?" and said to the cop she's stolen my phone. Luckily for me she did still have it. In the police car the officers actually got all shitty and judgemental saying so you went for a drink, you are also potentially drink driving - I said "NO, I got the train over, SHE is drunk and its her car and SHE was going to drink drive with my $500 phone in her bag" .. (she always drunk drove much to the dismay of a lot of people..instant dismissal at work if caught but she did it anyways)
    You could see them look at each other, penny dropping. I got a caution for dragging her out the car by her wrists. When I was sat in the cell waiting I could hear her wailing and balling from wherever she was in the station - the officers were even telling me after that they saw that type of crazy woman every week, same as they saw the male angry violent scumbag equivalent...
    Also damn luckily for me I had some photos I'd taken of my face and torso when she'd ripped me to shreds on a camping holiday (all my fault) and I had no mirror (camping!) so took photos to see what she'd done until I got to a supermarket toilet.
    I left the station with a load of crappy leaflets thrown at me about domestic violence and a police caution. One officer was saying "mate ffs erase her from your life"... With her I think they said a few things but tbh they were just glad to have her out the building. I didn't press charges, I just wanted to get home and feed my cat.
    Some women are so caught up in their violence and anger. Some men are too, obviously. I thought I could 'help' her and yes, the sex was fantastic.. Idiot.
    But man am I glad I got out of all that and into a much healthier relationship eventually!
    Thanks for staying honest Bill!

    • @bobbylongwitz6053
      @bobbylongwitz6053 3 года назад +158

      The crazier they are, the better they are between the sheets. Went through it numerous times too.

    • @ewbeans
      @ewbeans 3 года назад +101

      This was a long read but well worth it. When you got someone like that. Nowhere to go but up.

    • @angelaqassis5815
      @angelaqassis5815 3 года назад +65

      Wow! That is awful and you did not deserve that!! ... As a feminist activist i say: "She should end up in jail, i don't care if she's mentally ill. She hurt a guy who doesn't deserve it. She has issues and she is dangerous to citizens." I am happy you are in a healthier relationship :D You deserve one!

    • @christian6353
      @christian6353 3 года назад +109

      After the first paragraph I realized you’re also crazy to continue with her.

    • @AAron-gr3jk
      @AAron-gr3jk 3 года назад +7

      No, wait, and get even.

  • @juliesymonds2440
    @juliesymonds2440 6 лет назад +1159

    I'm a woman and I completely agree with everything he's saying.
    A lot of times, women give men so much shit for reasons that aren't even relevant to the actual argument so that it feels like they are "winning the fight". It's not fair that men have to put up with this kind of thing more times than one might think. If a man and a woman end up having an argument about things as simple as who's washing the dishes (like Bill mentioned), even if the man is completely in the right for being upset, somehow, the woman mostly, if not always, ends up being the victim anyway.
    I agree a woman can give you plenty of reasons for hitting them. As can a man. But that doesn't mean that you should EVER (and this goes for men and women alike) feel like it's necessary to do so.
    But in case you feel tempted to hitting your partner and actually end up do hitting your partner, don't be surprised if he or she hits back. You asked for it. That's just karma for you.

    • @tripgrundelson9015
      @tripgrundelson9015 6 лет назад +30

      I don't know you and I know it's weird to say but I think I love you.

    • @sharonmax6968
      @sharonmax6968 6 лет назад +14

      Very well said

    • @TC-kq3co
      @TC-kq3co 6 лет назад +2

      you being a women is irrelevant to the merit of his argument haha

    • @tjcogger1974
      @tjcogger1974 6 лет назад +5

      You a real one.

    • @hectorarredondo6929
      @hectorarredondo6929 6 лет назад +2

      Julie Symonds
      Lets say a couple are in a heated argument screaming contest screaming in each other faces after everyone calms down men apologizes

  • @blaavo
    @blaavo 6 лет назад +429

    “itsGONNAfucKINGRUST”

    • @drm2566
      @drm2566 6 лет назад +1

      Bee Godly agree funniest line. Dean AUstralia

    • @blaavo
      @blaavo 6 лет назад +3

      bill is just such a gem

    • @kristophergap17
      @kristophergap17 6 лет назад +2

      "Tuna casserole and just start swingin" is my favourite line lol.

  • @daleschuls1020
    @daleschuls1020 2 года назад +42

    I come back to this just to hear that woman yell in the break of the joke "EVERYDAY" and I swear Bill Burr is one of the most real comedians left out there today. That symphony, unplanned, moment of the crowd participating in the joke is what makes comedy, comedy. He expected that but didnt expect that comment, and the crowd delivered.

    • @edithbannerman4
      @edithbannerman4 11 месяцев назад

      @Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?

  • @clonesquad4874
    @clonesquad4874 8 лет назад +1764

    he's saying what we're thinking

    • @tjrizvi251
      @tjrizvi251 6 лет назад +15

      Clone Squad I WAS THINKIN IT AND THEN YOU SAID IT

    • @captaf1
      @captaf1 6 лет назад +6

      Tj Rizvi we’re all connected

    • @213213yoyo
      @213213yoyo 6 лет назад +2

      +Art we are one. We are one. We are one.

    • @codycall6513
      @codycall6513 6 лет назад

      djjazzyjeff123 now that’s hitting the head on the nail. Makes me want to be a comedian. What better way to vent. Lol

    • @yaboirequis
      @yaboirequis 6 лет назад

      Clone Squad bill burr us secretly a geniuses

  • @ardvark84
    @ardvark84 6 лет назад +583

    The real comedy is the fact that we laugh more when something real and true is being said. This was as down to Earth true as possible and it was hillarious.

    • @achilles5199
      @achilles5199 6 лет назад +5

      ardvark84 "tuna casserole! And start swinging"

    • @TonyRule
      @TonyRule 6 лет назад +2

      And that sums up the genius of Bill Burr.

  • @lillydachicOfficial
    @lillydachicOfficial 6 лет назад +1035

    I want to say, as a woman, I say yes that a woman can be hit ONLY if she attacks you first, same goes for a man. IF someone dares attack you first, you have every right to hit them back regardless of gender.

    • @murilocruz7752
      @murilocruz7752 6 лет назад +43

      That could be true, but if a man hits back, he has to make sure he hits back with equal or less force. Problem is men are much stronger so it could get ugly real quick. Even a if he just pushed her she could get shaken real bad.

    • @michaelrivera2212
      @michaelrivera2212 6 лет назад +9

      Agreed but Bills point still stands

    • @jackonotobacco5288
      @jackonotobacco5288 6 лет назад +75

      Murilo Cruz if she doesn’t want to get wrecked, don’t punch first. Simple as that, if it’s that bad, just break up or divorce. Just my opinion.

    • @murilocruz7752
      @murilocruz7752 6 лет назад +43

      Yeah I agree. Inflicting physical violence is just asking for it. 99% of the time though men will be penalized.

    • @XxSteamStreamxX
      @XxSteamStreamxX 6 лет назад +35

      you cant really limit that, If a skinny guy picks a fight with some bodybuilder, he knows what he's getting into and knows the odds aren't in his favor, so do most woman when engaging a man.

  • @christophernavarro9401
    @christophernavarro9401 Год назад +20

    “Take a knee and run out the clock”
    Best advice ever! 😂

  • @markturney8843
    @markturney8843 6 лет назад +2123

    “She’s not even in a relationship with me, and she’s nagging me!” 👍

    • @polymathtutoring1292
      @polymathtutoring1292 6 лет назад +38

      *"I'm not even in a relationship with her, and she's fucking nagging me!"*

    • @SonicTheHedgeRat
      @SonicTheHedgeRat 6 лет назад +31

      @@polymathtutoring1292 Pay attention meat head you saying the same shit he said...😐

    • @iBloodxHunter
      @iBloodxHunter 6 лет назад +11

      I feel like that was just a misunderstanding

    • @noahvburk585
      @noahvburk585 6 лет назад +2

      @@iBloodxHunter reference to 8 Mile lol

    • @ycnthegod2718
      @ycnthegod2718 6 лет назад +2

      @@SonicTheHedgeRat I literally just got done watching the ending battles lol

  • @jpperez007
    @jpperez007 3 года назад +589

    “Take a knee and run out the clock.”
    Best line ever. 🤣

    • @cerebrophage7709
      @cerebrophage7709 2 года назад +4

      I was thinking of shit she'd throw at me.
      "You got a small dick...!"
      "Satisfied you."
      "I was acting."
      "You're a horrible actress, I know when you're crying and not. I know when you feign ecstasy."
      "You're an ugly asshole."
      "To which you got your jollies."
      "You're just like your father."
      "About to divorce a dumb bitch? Probably."
      "You don't care about anything."
      "Clearly."

    • @rodrogers9158
      @rodrogers9158 2 года назад

      Lol...felt that one too

    • @realdaakuu1843
      @realdaakuu1843 2 года назад

      What does it mean

    • @Shenkenstein
      @Shenkenstein 2 года назад +7

      @@realdaakuu1843 It's a reference to a strategy in American football. Taking a knee ends the current down but keeps the clock running.

    • @realdaakuu1843
      @realdaakuu1843 2 года назад

      @@Shenkenstein oh thx

  • @PychedSyphony
    @PychedSyphony 4 года назад +703

    Just broke up with a girl exactly like this..
    this honestly helped me out so much, and now I completely despise who she is as a person

    • @flawlesswhoreless7691
      @flawlesswhoreless7691 3 года назад +21

      Good for you

    • @hellsing3062
      @hellsing3062 3 года назад +25

      Yeah man, good for you. And remember boys, don't stick your dick in the crazy.

    • @edwardschmitt5710
      @edwardschmitt5710 3 года назад +4

      Yeah good luck they have the golden vagina so they act like entitled people

    • @WorldWalker128
      @WorldWalker128 3 года назад +2

      Good job, dude.

    • @NatandGeorge
      @NatandGeorge 3 года назад +2

      Walk away is rthe best response. If I'm with a woman, it's because I care for her, & I don't hurt those I care about, given a choice.

  • @michaelrey2159
    @michaelrey2159 2 года назад +8

    “It’s gonna fuckin rust”. This is the funniest moment of this entire segment by far, and there are a lot in here. I find myself watching those few seconds on repeat quite often.

  • @too-da-loo
    @too-da-loo 3 года назад +725

    His comments on how women argue is 100% spot on. My ex was like that, the moment I left the pocket she took me down hard and beat the crap out of me verbally and mentally. I later learned the best lesson as Bill suggests, stay in the pocket, take a knee, run out the clock. I will add, talk in a soft voice, look her in the eyes and smile. It makes you feel so good to see them explode.

    • @ararune3734
      @ararune3734 2 года назад +33

      So you're telling us your ex was a woman. Honestly your ex needs to know her place, the fact a lot of you guys allow this to happen and think you're the ones who have to sneak out of it is worrying. Set up boundaries from the start, there's no reason for you to tolerate it.

    • @s43m
      @s43m 2 года назад +13

      I don't get this shit, why do people form relationships with these people? You can prob tell who's crazy if you know them to the point that you decide you can have a relationship with them.

    • @ararune3734
      @ararune3734 2 года назад

      @@s43m All women are at least a little crazy, so might as well not date then.
      What don't you get? Men can't be that picky as a gender, if they were picky they'd have to rub one off themselves every day

    • @Heretic1981
      @Heretic1981 2 года назад +27

      @@s43m Pfft, very few people show you who they really are until they get comfortable. Didn't you ever date or, heaven forbid, hire someone who took a few months to not work out?

    • @s43m
      @s43m 2 года назад +2

      @@Heretic1981 Why marry someone you aren't completely comfortable with?

  • @rightcoast7049
    @rightcoast7049 5 лет назад +438

    "Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating" LMAO

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 5 лет назад +8

      It's true though. Hockey does have a penalty for instigating.

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 3 года назад +4

      There is an oooold hockey game for MS-DOS (probably other ports as well) called Faceoff that has a 30 sec penalty for "losing the fight". Still cracks me up.

    • @stephenmiller2337
      @stephenmiller2337 3 года назад

      @@oz_jones haha, I used to play that on my old Nintendo. Couple of times it would end up in a real fight between my stepbrother and I.

    • @chrisrhorer8524
      @chrisrhorer8524 3 года назад

      I think the game was Mario lemieux hockey or blades of steel where whoever lost a fight was penalized 2 min and the winning team had a power play lol. I thought that was great. Great incentive to win a fight other than the obvious.

  • @hahahehehoho8191
    @hahahehehoho8191 5 лет назад +488

    Rub one out. It's the champagne of victory!
    Brahh.. 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 5 лет назад +7

      Martian post nut clarity

    • @aysn2277
      @aysn2277 5 лет назад +3

      literally shaking the bottle

    • @Jacob-if4et
      @Jacob-if4et 3 года назад

      😂😂😂

  • @sohamjoshi9353
    @sohamjoshi9353 2 года назад +45

    This aged really well

  • @petesorensenguitar
    @petesorensenguitar 5 лет назад +706

    RIP to that bird who got absolutely roasted.

    • @robinsharkey6658
      @robinsharkey6658 5 лет назад +10

      Spit roasted perhaps...🤘

    • @raylauro
      @raylauro 5 лет назад +48

      "Talkin about hitting women sweetheart!"

    • @joshsullivan8527
      @joshsullivan8527 5 лет назад +12

      what did she even say?

    • @MultiHassan1993
      @MultiHassan1993 5 лет назад +23

      @Prince Fabulous Think she says "it's their right" or something along those lines and when you put that into context of Bill asking a perfectly logical question of why we can never ask what a woman did, her response becomes even stupider....I am glad Bill roasted the hell out of her.

    • @Thedudeabides803
      @Thedudeabides803 5 лет назад +18

      It’s so unnatural she actually shut the fuck up. Must have died on the spot from embarrassment.

  • @lakechocolate9785
    @lakechocolate9785 5 лет назад +438

    "I realize I'm coming off pretty ignorant right about now"
    😂😂😂

    • @davidmaclane5487
      @davidmaclane5487 5 лет назад

      @M J Grasscutter I'm going to have to question the word "norant"....I don't believe that it is even in the English language...prove me wrong.
      If Ignorant means unknowing, then wouldn't the opposite be educated? Just saying

    • @KrishnaSharma-vv6tp
      @KrishnaSharma-vv6tp 5 лет назад

      @@davidmaclane5487 You're right. I don't know if there's a word called norant.

    • @DavyDave1313
      @DavyDave1313 5 лет назад +5

      He’s being a smart ass. He knows he’s right but playing it off like he’s wrong

  • @Jordansparte
    @Jordansparte 7 лет назад +427

    I’ve never witnessed a comedian be able incorporate a heckler into the routine before.. BRILLIANT!

    • @oldaccount8736
      @oldaccount8736 6 лет назад +9

      Jordan Sparte how was it "brilliant". Any idiot with some perception would of done it.

    • @johnnypottseed
      @johnnypottseed 6 лет назад +55

      Old Account would've or would have never would of. Idiot.

    • @oldaccount8736
      @oldaccount8736 6 лет назад +4

      Johnny Pottseed you don’t even know what you’re talking about. Go to bed.

    • @jackonotobacco5288
      @jackonotobacco5288 6 лет назад +30

      Old Account how does he “not know about it” if he corrected you? Dumbass.

    • @oldaccount8736
      @oldaccount8736 6 лет назад +4

      Jacko NoTobacco I didn’t say “it” stupid bitch. Work on your comprehension

  • @anthonymcgrath
    @anthonymcgrath Год назад +7

    that cauldron stirring at 10.25 killed me 🤣

  • @MadtownAtheist
    @MadtownAtheist 6 лет назад +928

    Don't you hate when your can opener gets rusty

    • @redtiny802
      @redtiny802 6 лет назад +7

      Yeah cause then I have to throw in the goddamn trash.

    • @mcdoogins909
      @mcdoogins909 6 лет назад +11

      You're avatar is godlike. See what I did there

    • @messyties
      @messyties 6 лет назад +6

      My wife does

    • @aziizgh
      @aziizgh 6 лет назад +5

      Kurt Sontag I hate when my dishwasher doesn’t want to have sex

    • @knighthunter1791
      @knighthunter1791 6 лет назад +1

      I also hate it, it's hard to open cans with the 🔪

  • @Hollowpitta
    @Hollowpitta 6 лет назад +605

    Ladies, it's not ok to slap your guy

    • @itsveebitch8295
      @itsveebitch8295 6 лет назад +1

      lucas pitta what if he’s an asshole 😰😰🤭🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @itsveebitch8295
      @itsveebitch8295 6 лет назад +1

      Farsam Abbas unfortunately 😪😪 all I can do is yell and scream

    • @itsveebitch8295
      @itsveebitch8295 6 лет назад +1

      Farsam Abbas believe me i would never 😪 they are just fantasies

    • @itsveebitch8295
      @itsveebitch8295 6 лет назад

      ll Im Clamps ll Xb1 uuuuum im not 🙄

    • @compfrags9369
      @compfrags9369 6 лет назад +6

      Vee k

  • @lukeschilperoort9934
    @lukeschilperoort9934 2 года назад +1492

    I genuinely love how he derives so much humor while simultaneously teaching real life lessons by simply calling out the sheer dumbassery that’s been accepted by mainstream society and logically breaking it down. The “no reason to hit a women” bit seems edgy but it’s simply calling out the sheer arrogance that women are somehow above reproach compared to men and men just have to accept that. It solves literally nothing about what led to that conflict in the first place and does nothing to prevent future conflicts.

    • @timbaker8020
      @timbaker8020 2 года назад +18

      Well said 👍

    • @ararune3734
      @ararune3734 2 года назад +34

      Because it's not designed to fix or prevent anything, it's designed for a gynocentric society

    • @anarcho-communist11
      @anarcho-communist11 2 года назад

      Women and men both hold women accountable for stuff....Remember the Johnny Depp trial? Women came out of the woodwork to support JD instead of AH. The truth is no one's holding men accountable like we should. Men are murdering and raping at at least 10 times the rate women do, and it's not talked about nearly enough because a lot of men want to stay in denial.
      Also religion is very sexist towards women, but we don't talk about that much either because a lot of men get angry when they hear about sexism and we can't have that! Lots of male snowflakes out there can't handle hearing facts.

    • @schwärmerei
      @schwärmerei Год назад +5

      ​@Ararune we still live in pretty much male centric society

    • @codywood1295
      @codywood1295 Год назад +45

      ​@1fromoutside in many ways we don't though. I think men just talk less in general. Complain less. Get listened to less.
      Women get significantly less jail time for the same crimes as men.
      God forbid a women wants to take the kids away from a man, she starts with the advantage.

  • @dancarnahan1919
    @dancarnahan1919 2 года назад +9

    "I'm starting to turn this franchise around" lol. Makes me bust out into laughter everytime!!

  • @ekavira6766
    @ekavira6766 5 лет назад +574

    “Roll her up in the yoga mat and stuff her behind the sofa!” Gold..!

  • @illuminatioracle
    @illuminatioracle 6 лет назад +522

    women pretend aggression comes from absolutely nowhere, but can employ a picture perfect photographic memory when it comes to them being pissed off at something you did.

    • @myles208
      @myles208 5 лет назад +7

      illuminatioracle hmm. Just know one thing, emotions = weakness. I mean women and vaginas go hand in hand. Both are very very sensitive.

    • @junkybabes
      @junkybabes 5 лет назад +4

      I think they just rely on us not remembering and pretend they remembered.

    • @betterdaysbetterdaysbetterdays
      @betterdaysbetterdaysbetterdays 5 лет назад

      Not all women are the same dumbass

    • @YuYuYuna_
      @YuYuYuna_ 5 лет назад +1

      @Haha AHha Emotions aren't a weakness. Vulnerability is. It all depends on how you handle criticism and mean spirited comments to you. Also it matters if you believe the statement to be true.

    • @brandondelgado68
      @brandondelgado68 5 лет назад

      @@myles208 nnnnnnnnnmmmnnnmnnn?????????????????

  • @joshsullivan8527
    @joshsullivan8527 5 лет назад +1030

    bill burr - "why can you only ask questions about what the guy did and not the woman, why is that?" the woman responded by saying "It's her Right", as in her right to not be asked questions. LMFAO so stupid.

    • @kaydenbreak8988
      @kaydenbreak8988 5 лет назад +152

      Gender "equality"

    • @jevans4538
      @jevans4538 5 лет назад +47

      The chattering cuntfussing of ideologically possessed demons.

    • @keepitreal1999
      @keepitreal1999 5 лет назад +12

      Don't matter what is said! Folks will always find something to complain about! The shit is TRUE ! And so funny!!!!

    • @christianw6819
      @christianw6819 5 лет назад +47

      She probably also thinks it's her right to murder babies.

    • @jumhed994
      @jumhed994 5 лет назад +16

      'Answer him right'. Means talk to him properly.

  • @kennethmichael5758
    @kennethmichael5758 Год назад +2

    i always come back to this clip .....and it gets new everytime i watch it ....THIS IS GOLD

  • @Frysken
    @Frysken 3 года назад +453

    The fact that Bill can handle hecklers on the spot is amazing.

    • @originalunoriginal4055
      @originalunoriginal4055 3 года назад +8

      It's part of his job! And events of his every day life!

    • @Frank-wr2nf
      @Frank-wr2nf 3 года назад +14

      I don’t think she was heckling him lol, I think he asked a question to the audience and she tried to back him up by saying “answer him,”

    • @lomarsweed6604
      @lomarsweed6604 3 года назад +14

      @@Frank-wr2nf Yeah, somehow this is going over everyone's head because everyone is so quick to wanna believe Bill eviscerated a heckler like a boss... Of course he's capable of doing that, but in this instance it doesn't seem like she was heckling him.

    • @srldwg
      @srldwg Год назад +3

      ​@@lomarsweed6604That confused me to. She seemed to be supporting the context of what he was saying
      Thank you for your comment. I thought that I was going crazy. Trying to figure out why the focus was on hecklers, don't heckle, and how well he handles hecklers, and thinking "Did they even listen to what she said at all?"

    • @srldwg
      @srldwg Год назад

      ​@@Frank-wr2nfAgree!

  • @livingthattwelvelife2209
    @livingthattwelvelife2209 7 лет назад +343

    "Just take a knee and run out the clock" I died! That was amazing!

    • @Lucifronz
      @Lucifronz 6 лет назад +2

      +The Chief You're an idiot. Not even worth talking to beyond that.

    • @Vintagenegro
      @Vintagenegro 6 лет назад +3

      +The Chief what ? you don't hit a womean because she talks shit. I can see if she hits you but talking shit is not a valid reason to touch the bitch.

    • @Vintagenegro
      @Vintagenegro 6 лет назад +1

      cypresspuz yeah that coming from a straight bitch!!! Lol

    • @ronnbot
      @ronnbot 6 лет назад +5

      The Chief Like he said, you've won the argument and she's just bring up unrelated stuff out of desperation to bring you down. Don't retaliate on the other points and loose your cool then end up being the bad guy. So back down and let the unrelated stuff slide ("just take a knee") as she'll eventually stop ("run out the clock"). That's basically it.

    • @travistags3540
      @travistags3540 6 лет назад +2

      And then the champagne of victory lol

  • @pringlescan81
    @pringlescan81 4 года назад +967

    This is dark... but real; a TED talk that will never happen

    • @raimundoj888
      @raimundoj888 4 года назад +22

      fuck TED talks

    • @Optimistas777
      @Optimistas777 3 года назад +7

      This is already a ted talk

    • @frostywarrior4649
      @frostywarrior4649 3 года назад +5

      Why is it dark if it's the truth???

    • @IrvingIV
      @IrvingIV 3 года назад +6

      Actually this would be a TEDx talk, the less prestigious variety like the lady who was angry about single

    • @ricardobocus6304
      @ricardobocus6304 3 года назад +6

      It's a BILL Talk

  • @tonyu52
    @tonyu52 4 месяца назад +7

    Played this for my wife. She didn't find it funny...at all. Meanwhile, I'm rolling on the floor!

  • @slowster2945
    @slowster2945 6 лет назад +728

    Yet when a woman hits a man (or runs him over in his car) the question always gets asked - "What did he do?"

    • @wissal.1564
      @wissal.1564 6 лет назад +19

      I disagree most of the time the girl gets called crazy and no one asks what did he do 2 make her crazy

    • @snorkey2462
      @snorkey2462 6 лет назад +81

      iamthefuturequeen well if the chick ran over her dude over a little argument then the bitch is crazy 😂

    • @ThePathStrider
      @ThePathStrider 6 лет назад +7

      Hurt her fist and made a mess of the underside of the car.

    • @michaeltaylor4250
      @michaeltaylor4250 6 лет назад +7

      @@wissal.1564 I'm guessing this is coming from a women ofc

    • @zapputopia6383
      @zapputopia6383 6 лет назад +1

      Jesus Christ! This is VERY EYE OPENING when you really think about it.

  • @flouncymagoo9766
    @flouncymagoo9766 5 лет назад +1865

    I'm a woman and I approve this message

    • @redfather5342
      @redfather5342 5 лет назад +71

      No one gives a fuck what you approve

    • @jamesl.g.4245
      @jamesl.g.4245 5 лет назад +161

      @@redfather5342 #TRIGGERED 😂🤣😂 you seem like the woman bill was talking about...hahaha!

    • @Eatingcunceout
      @Eatingcunceout 5 лет назад +24

      James L.G. *Curiously watches whilst eating popcorn*

    • @Rogue-ww2nw
      @Rogue-ww2nw 5 лет назад +16

      James L.G. “Triggered” so you think you need a woman to approve of recognize what’s wrong with domestic violence, nah YOU sound like the bitch bills talking about

    • @jeremiahmargulies5842
      @jeremiahmargulies5842 5 лет назад +2

      True. No doubt about it.

  • @linck7up
    @linck7up 7 лет назад +922

    3:00 every time i ask my mom or my sisters a yes or on question i get a story

    • @mcnyregrus
      @mcnyregrus  7 лет назад +44

      Ha ha ha! Same thing with my mum - and my ex-wife as well actually. I have had two girlfriends who just said no, though.

    • @zazollo
      @zazollo 7 лет назад +60

      I see it a lot working in customer service. Like I gotta ask "do you want to donate to this thing" and the men will just say yes or no, but the women always gotta be like "no I'm already donating to ahsgsggddh and I do it every year and my sister also adopts stray dogs and I'm currently adopting 6 starving Ethiopian children and-" OH MY GOD JUST SAY YES OR NO I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS

    • @ThePaladrium
      @ThePaladrium 6 лет назад +5

      i had a female boss, imagine that... xD the best thing was, you walk out the same clueless way you walked in and just did what you thought was right.

    • @cabbage-soup
      @cabbage-soup 6 лет назад +6

      They probably think you're rude when you answer their questions with yes or no instead of a story

    • @AngusStewart01
      @AngusStewart01 6 лет назад

      linck7up same here

  • @kUiPeRnAtOr
    @kUiPeRnAtOr 3 месяца назад +2

    That 'EVERYDAY' was comical timing perfection 😂😂

  • @SC-pg7jr
    @SC-pg7jr 5 лет назад +6244

    Guy: hits girl
    People: omg he hit a girl
    Girl: hits guy for no reason
    People: ok...

    • @SC-pg7jr
      @SC-pg7jr 5 лет назад +239

      @slight o hand wow so you're telling me girls can't use their nails and some girls can hurt boys

    • @SC-pg7jr
      @SC-pg7jr 5 лет назад +159

      @slight o hand not all woman are the same you're comparing some to 1, girls can hurt boys

    • @T0YCHEST
      @T0YCHEST 5 лет назад +10

      future jojo yeah Ronda rousey but u getting in a relationship with a girl as strong as her is so rare that they are all weak

    • @SC-pg7jr
      @SC-pg7jr 5 лет назад +89

      @slight o hand a lot of girls are strong you can't say their weak if you haven't got hit by every female on earth. Also you make it seem like some girls don't know how to punch or hit hard

    • @SC-pg7jr
      @SC-pg7jr 5 лет назад +45

      @slight o hand well i saw it happen a lot of times where girls would give guys bruises and scratches where you bleed

  • @aaroncostello8812
    @aaroncostello8812 5 лет назад +1666

    Had a similar theoretical argument with a quasi-feminist chick a long, long time ago.
    Her: "There is never a reason to hit a woman. Never."
    Me: "Oh, really? Is there ever a reason for a man to hit another man?"
    Her: "Well, I suppose so. But violence is not the answer."
    Me: "And are men and women EQUALS?"
    Her: (long pause) "Yes, they are."
    Me: "So if a woman is equal to a man, and you concede it is sometimes necessary for a man to hit another man, how can you say there is NEVER a reason for a man to hit a woman?"
    Her: (silence)

  • @TheCollekterMoviesMusic
    @TheCollekterMoviesMusic 6 лет назад +274

    “TUNA CASSEROLE!? And just start swingin” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @InklanUtterfield
      @InklanUtterfield 6 лет назад +1

      Bro, wouldn't you?

    • @runewarrior0
      @runewarrior0 6 лет назад +4

      Fuck no, tuna casserole is good. Better have peas though..

    • @anbuhyuga8299
      @anbuhyuga8299 6 лет назад

      you clearly haven't had a good tuna casserole my dude

  • @Msaprillouise
    @Msaprillouise 9 месяцев назад +2

    This is definitely one of my favorites from him. He brings up a lot of good points about one sided stories, and never asking questions when they need to be asked…. . Smart, smart man.