Sometimes I just hear something on the topic... and always remember some of Bill Burr video and give a little chuckle out of nowhere. And then, come back here to refresh my memory.
Personally, I think older people are very pretty/handsome when they don’t try to pretend that they’re younger. People should wear their wrinkles like honor badges for life.
I was driving to work while listening to this. As soon as he said the lizard comment I laughed so hard that I nearly crossed lanes and hit the guy coming my direction. The guy in the car probably saw me staring dead in his eyes while laughing like a maniac. God only knows what was going through his mind at the time.... either way this joke made my day.
Travis i know its a year later but i have to agree. I'm sitting here laughing like a village idiot with headphones in my laptop whilst my wife watches some shitty hallmark flik on the TV
This should be standard viewing material for any of the bobbleheads that move to LA looking to get into movies. And it should be re-viewed by anyone and everyone already there. Just like renewing a drivers license, they should have to watch this clip at least every 4 years as a reminder. Bill Burr = one of the funniest dudes on earth and is SO spot-on on so many topics. He totally nails this
𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 proof that the prefect woman does not exist. If they are insecure then I don’t want them. I like them imperfect, not like I’m dating a fucking mannequin
𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 minor things like nose jobs aren’t a big deal. It’s when people do them repeatedly they end up looking like a deformed fish. Just drink a lot of water, moisturize your skin, exercise, and eat healthy. Also besides nose jobs when people get older the plastic surgery ends up looking like shit.
This is so funny. Even though im at the age he's talking about I cant stop laughing.like the bit when he refers to being 50 saying 'why dont you admit its over! Ha ha
Still no shirt for your face, nobody wants to wear it. Nothing changed really, still an egomaniac country filled with egomaniacs pretending to be something else.
When people get plastic surgery, they don't look like a younger version of themselves. They became someone else. Case in point, Madonna. I remember how a young Madonna look. Definitely not like that.
@Neronian Diamanti She doesn't look like 1984 Madonna when she was in her mid 20s (the "Lucky Star" era), but she def doesn't look 61 either. Just like a hella fit and toned 45 year old maybe, but yeah she's a MILF
Bill Burr spot on as usual. Why people pay thousands of dollars to get that shiny look that rather than simply cop a few age-appropriate wrinkles is beyond me. Not only is this clip funny as hell, but if it makes even one person back out from doing that to themselves then old Billy Fantapants has done a good deed.
In 1982, two single ladies in their 50's in my office went to get a blepharoplasty. (Eye lift). Had no idea what they had done and when I saw them, after they "returned from vacation", I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with their faces. Two outstanding items: constant look of absolute shock or surprise on their face and their eyes were like glued open...but their necks looked like turkeys. Never said anything, so when they "coyly " asked if I noticed anything different...I just smiled and said they looked happy and relaxed from their long vacations. Promised myself...NEVER FOR ME!
I watched 'Sleepless in Seattle' for the first time last night and the entire time I kept thinking about how incredibly cute Meg Ryan looked. So I looked her up and saw that she had gotten work done and it doesn't look good. Bill expressed alot of the thoughts going through my head when I saw what she looked like today. I know that I don't know this woman and it's her choice but I still felt a bit sad that she didn't think ageing naturally would suit her.
"Or look like a 28 yr old lizard" ...love it! Had 2 baba's (Xenia and Katherine) who looked and felt like 2 grabdmothers. Adored them..plump, white hair, pink scalp, pleated skirts, pink sweater set, lovely soft wrinkles hands and soooo loving and comforting. Knew I wanted to grow old like them and hold, kiss and cherish my grandchildren and sing them Russian lullabies! Absolutely NO plastic surgery for me...just grow old like God made me!
So glad this popped up on my suggestions. Never heard of him but going to find tickets for this dude! I laughed out loud so loud I scared my cats! 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Bill is this generation's Carlin. Can you imagine if George was still with us and Bill and him toured together? I'd pay an obscene amount of money to see that.
Bill Burr’s act is great I remember the first time I heard his jokes ten years ago and there just as funny today as they were back then , if the Doors were still going Bill would be the warm up act
I had to chuckle recently when I was at the gym and there was this older woman that had clearly had a face lift. Reminded me of this clip. And for the record, she looked hideous. There are other older woman in that gym who kept the natural look and they look WAAAAY better.
@@willyates8071 wierdly, they just ruined themselves. Most of the times, the natural look is the best. Minor face surgery is ok but face lifting and plastic surgery is really overrated imo.
Hearing the options of either looking my age or like a 28-year-old lizard always makes me lmmfao every time. It never gets old. Is it because he hit it on the nail? I could never put my finger on it, but people looked weird after going under the knife & all I knew that something wasn't quite right. I would get creeped out by the Lizards. Mr. Burr pointed out what I couldn't & didn't see. Now I'm thinking of the skull Lizards from Kong: Skull Island.
This guy is so on point, he got that psychological distress that makes him far enough from consequences but close enough to the reality that makes it just on point damn it he's so cool
What’s really messed up is when people get implants in their butt or calves. Most of the bugs have been worked out with boobs but calves and butts seem to have trouble with a southern migration (if you know what I mean.)
@@justc1re617 yeah medical worker wear masks, a lot industry requires masks. Also many people from Asia wear masks due to air pollution, a lot Japanese wear masks due to allergy. American Neoliberals like you tends to think you represent the world. The fact is you don’t and you are a minority.
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
I wish I could hear these jokes again for the first time.
Here, take my ears ...I wasnt even able to finish it for the first time.
So what
Sometimes I just hear something on the topic... and always remember some of Bill Burr video and give a little chuckle out of nowhere. And then, come back here to refresh my memory.
I soo agree
Jordan Rios ayyye
Never thought of Van Gogh as such a good stand-up comedian
Woe, he does look like Van Gogh. I can't unsee it now...lol
😂
Never saw that until now lmaoo
And they glued his ear on again !!
“You know “ ? If we did you wouldn’t have a show
"There's no shirt for your face." LOL
There is if you go to Saudi Arabia. lol.
Michael Anderson it’s called a mask
To be honest I expected him to talk about Burkas at that point.
Lmfao 💀💀💀 damn my laugh box just broke
Beards
"almost didn't recognize ya, you look so young.. alright take it easy.."
lmao
Is he-Is he gone? Alright Shred everything! SHRED IT!
"Jeeesus christ!"
Yeah we saw
Bob Lee Swagger Yeah he’s making a comment bitch
Personally, I think older people are very pretty/handsome when they don’t try to pretend that they’re younger. People should wear their wrinkles like honor badges for life.
Klutzy Ninja Kitty, yes, as in “I earned every one of these gray hairs raising you kids, lol.
👍👍.
Klutzy Ninja Kitty amen!
Steve Carrel is the best example wearing their wrinkles like honor badges, man looks hawtt when he reached 50 and hairs went grey
Your name is klutzy ninja kitty, you’re useless and no one gives a fuck about your thoughts
“There’s no shirt for your face.”
2020: _Allow me to introduce myself._
You win! 🤣🤣
👍Swaaayyyt!!😂
Beat me to it ya bastard hahaha
Still doesn't really hide the undereye circles :(
@@lilskittle03 sunglasses
I was driving to work while listening to this. As soon as he said the lizard comment I laughed so hard that I nearly crossed lanes and hit the guy coming my direction. The guy in the car probably saw me staring dead in his eyes while laughing like a maniac. God only knows what was going through his mind at the time.... either way this joke made my day.
You inadvertently poisoned a man's soul just then. You may have created a Hero, maybe a Villain.
@johnnytheprick think about it from the other guy's perspective.
He's probably thinking, I'm getting the f**k away from this nut.
Wife: How was your day Honey?
Him: Some weirdo starred deep into my soul and laughed.
I need to be left alone a while.
A long while.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
😆
Doesn't she look 10 years younger? No. She looks surprised. Really surprised.
lol i thought that was in the skit. lmfaaaoooo you're just that funny
The skin goes gray.
LMFAAAOO
Lmaooooo
A 28 year old lizard was not a fan of Bill Burr :(
Chaz Berkman 28 28 year old lizards
The Namez Butt Jangles Make that 86
They are reproducing, 104
A 29 year old is!!!
129 28 year old lizards lmao burr is awesome!
"Ant legs stapled on your head" ROFL!
I've never laughed so hard by myself in my entire life. This man is the best therapy the 21st century could have ever offered us.
Travis i know its a year later but i have to agree. I'm sitting here laughing like a village idiot with headphones in my laptop whilst my wife watches some shitty hallmark flik on the TV
This should be standard viewing material for any of the bobbleheads that move to LA looking to get into movies. And it should be re-viewed by anyone and everyone already there. Just like renewing a drivers license, they should have to watch this clip at least every 4 years as a reminder.
Bill Burr = one of the funniest dudes on earth and is SO spot-on on so many topics. He totally nails this
The wonderful thing about comedians is that they say out loud the things that we all think but are too afraid to say.
IM SAYIN!!
2:45 3:13 3:13 3:15 3:18 3:18
😊
No one wants to say how much this guy ripped off George Carlin, but hey, I AM
@@TheLastDeadCat he's a direct descendant of Carlin in that honesty is being spoken - otherwise, completely different
No one will ever be another George Carlin but, Bill is on the right track😃
Lol this is what I've always wondered - how the hell can anyone get plastic surgery after having seen someone else who's had it!?!
@𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 Damn Lana, Bella and Angelina? Really? Guess they weren't as perfect and lucky as I might've thought
𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 proof that the prefect woman does not exist. If they are insecure then I don’t want them. I like them imperfect, not like I’m dating a fucking mannequin
Super insecure people do it
𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓪 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓾 minor things like nose jobs aren’t a big deal. It’s when people do them repeatedly they end up looking like a deformed fish. Just drink a lot of water, moisturize your skin, exercise, and eat healthy. Also besides nose jobs when people get older the plastic surgery ends up looking like shit.
Probably cuz they’re not thinking
Bill’s timing and delivery is perfection.
"There's no shirt for your face."
Welcome to June 2020...
Fak so relevant :D
Damn, beat me to that joke!
Stix N' Stones more of a diaper...
Ah god damn I just made the same joke.
I'm not deleting it lol.
I always have to remind myself "Do NOT watch Bill burr in office, you can't hold it." And don't drink anything as well, especially SODA drinks.
Amin to that
Yes definitely sodas, never drink them if you dont want them coming out your nose
I was in New York a couple of years ago and my buddy’s teenage son (15) introduced me to Burr. Spreading his gospel now in Australia 🇦🇺....
"You look fucking weird. You still look like you are in your 50s but I can't figure which year because I have never seen that year" - EPIC!
This is so funny. Even though im at the age he's talking about I cant stop laughing.like the bit when he refers to being 50 saying 'why dont you admit its over! Ha ha
Ehh my Colombian aunts try but it’s looks terrible they just need to let it go lol, past a certain point no BBL or Botox can beat Father Time
@Koni Demiko Totally! Just have a to work a little harder at it than you used to.
Jesus loves you ¡!
@@johnblaze6269 The Wall is undefeated.
I wish I did this ten years ago -- No, you don't!
How can anyone not love this guy?
Fucking legend!!!!!
"Fuck it!! I don't give a shit!!" lmao.
🤣🤣🤣
that lizard joke is absolute perfection
I think the “Jeeesus Christ! What the fuck happened?!” is one of my favorite lines! XD
Bill's one of the most naturally funny guys of all time... 😄
"There's no shirt for your face!".... LMFAO....
When life kick ya in the ass, listening to this guy just makes it better, forking awesome. Thank-you
I love how accurate he can be while being funny
"There's no shirts for your face" A lot has changed in 6 years.
Masks
Still no shirt for your face, nobody wants to wear it. Nothing changed really, still an egomaniac country filled with egomaniacs pretending to be something else.
@@blesse2099 Yes thats what he was implying.
When people get plastic surgery, they don't look like a younger version of themselves. They became someone else. Case in point, Madonna. I remember how a young Madonna look. Definitely not like that.
@Neronian Diamanti She doesn't look like 1984 Madonna when she was in her mid 20s (the "Lucky Star" era), but she def doesn't look 61 either. Just like a hella fit and toned 45 year old maybe, but yeah she's a MILF
It pains me what madonna looks like now. I will always remember her in the 80s, my youth.
@@JPMcFly1985 She does NOT look 45-she looks like an alien.
@@JPMcFly1985 She looks like a scrawny old man. Scary scary!
Bill Burr spot on as usual. Why people pay thousands of dollars to get that shiny look that rather than simply cop a few age-appropriate wrinkles is beyond me. Not only is this clip funny as hell, but if it makes even one person back out from doing that to themselves then old Billy Fantapants has done a good deed.
Jesus loves you ¡!
Thousands of dollars for a cheap George Carlin knock off? Being angry at the world doesn't make you a comedian. Neither does ripping off acts.
Renee Zellweger, you hear what this guy is saying?
Lord Jesus, now she looks like she gave birth to herself. The first person to get plastic surgery and look older. She looks she's 52.
Now Uma Thurman
redrum41987 oh god please say it aint so, not Uma, I'm searching as we speak...
I searched for this specifically because of that. Hilarious
Watch predestination. Nuff said.
In 1982, two single ladies in their 50's in my office went to get a blepharoplasty. (Eye lift). Had no idea what they had done and when I saw them, after they "returned from vacation", I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with their faces. Two outstanding items: constant look of absolute shock or surprise on their face and their eyes were like glued open...but their necks looked like turkeys. Never said anything, so when they "coyly " asked if I noticed anything different...I just smiled and said they looked happy and relaxed from their long vacations. Promised myself...NEVER FOR ME!
when he said 28 year old lizard i lost it lol. im 28 & have pet lizards.
Cortney Erinn why in the world would you have pet lizards.... jesus christ
Cortney Erinn Tongue like a lizard ?
Cortney Erinn ur cute
Cortney Erinn when he said "dont be a god damned hero" I laughed because Im not a god damned hero
i laughed cause I have 2 legs and a stop sign has 8 sides and one time I saw a lizard.
This guy is one of the funniest comedians out there.
“There’s no shirt for your face.”
2020: Hold my corona
I watched 'Sleepless in Seattle' for the first time last night and the entire time I kept thinking about how incredibly cute Meg Ryan looked. So I looked her up and saw that she had gotten work done and it doesn't look good. Bill expressed alot of the thoughts going through my head when I saw what she looked like today. I know that I don't know this woman and it's her choice but I still felt a bit sad that she didn't think ageing naturally would suit her.
And then came Courtney Cox.. BOY did that one not end well.
I know, she looks like she got a face transplant from a mannequin.
She got a bad job for sure
Melanie Griffith too.
You just can't get enough of this, I can watch him all the time 😂😂😂
Always speaks truth while still being funny. Brass tacks!!! ♥️
"I understand liposuction. They screw up with that you can put on a shirt" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Burr is the funniest comedian! I can watch all of his stand up specials and still crack up.
"Or look like a 28 yr old lizard" ...love it! Had 2 baba's (Xenia and Katherine) who looked and felt like 2 grabdmothers. Adored them..plump, white hair, pink scalp, pleated skirts, pink sweater set, lovely soft wrinkles hands and soooo loving and comforting. Knew I wanted to grow old like them and hold, kiss and cherish my grandchildren and sing them Russian lullabies! Absolutely NO plastic surgery for me...just grow old like God made me!
“28-year-old lizard” took me out
So glad this popped up on my suggestions. Never heard of him but going to find tickets for this dude!
I laughed out loud so loud I scared my cats! 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Bill is this generation's Carlin.
Can you imagine if George was still with us and Bill and him toured together? I'd pay an obscene amount of money to see that.
Spot on. This guy gets it nailed every time. One of the best out there.
Bill Burr’s act is great I remember the first time I heard his jokes ten years ago and there just as funny today as they were back then , if the Doors were still going Bill would be the warm up act
I've watched this like 4 times for the past year and it's still a gold mine
"Lookin all shiny" hahahaha!!!
Man! Every time I hit play on any Bill Burr clip, I am for sure gunna get to laugh!
I’m here after watching FRIENDS reunion. 20 yo lizard, that’s lingering on my mind.
It's always the comedians that tell us the truth.
"stapling ant legs to the top of people's heads"
🤣🤣
I was eating a salad during this, laughed, sucked spinach into my nasal cavity, threw up in my mouth, and kept laughing.
10/10 would do it again
Bill just rants,and it's hilarious 😂
burt Reynolds made himself look like something from outer space
Classic BB !!!
My favorite comedian for the past 15 years.
I love how he thinks.
Jesus CHRIST, what the fuck happened!? We followed every step- did we miss something??
Ahh burr is the best. Those facial expressions 😂😂😁
Billy: theres no shirt for your face
2020: hold my corona beer
My ad for this was “hair transplants in turkey” LMAO
Wow! I finally found part of a Burr set I hadn't seen before! Thank you!
I immediately thought of this when I saw Kim Novak at the Oscars
I had to chuckle recently when I was at the gym and there was this older woman that had clearly had a face lift. Reminded me of this clip. And for the record, she looked hideous. There are other older woman in that gym who kept the natural look and they look WAAAAY better.
Diomedes01 They just want the attention.
Angela Pandolfo Nah they’re just insecure about growing old
@@willyates8071 wierdly, they just ruined themselves. Most of the times, the natural look is the best. Minor face surgery is ok but face lifting and plastic surgery is really overrated imo.
1:12 the delivery here absolutely KILLED me lool
I come back to this every once in a while gotta love bill
THIS MAN IS SO HONEST & TRUTHFUL , america needs more of them !!
Solid comedy truth!
This is back when I first truly took note of Bill Burr... a pimp confident genius truth 100 comic BEAST!!! To this day an absolute fav talent
Hearing the options of either looking my age or like a 28-year-old lizard always makes me lmmfao every time. It never gets old. Is it because he hit it on the nail? I could never put my finger on it, but people looked weird after going under the knife & all I knew that something wasn't quite right. I would get creeped out by the Lizards. Mr. Burr pointed out what I couldn't & didn't see. Now I'm thinking of the skull Lizards from Kong: Skull Island.
This was RIGHT ON!! ROFL!!!
Bill Burr = BEST comedian out there!
One of the best clips....
Nice end. 28 years old lizard!!!
Ee .e end of this clip lol
Still makes me laugh out loud!
What a gift !
One of the funniest quotes ever. "Don't be a hero." LOL "You look fucking weird."
This guy is so on point, he got that psychological distress that makes him far enough from consequences but close enough to the reality that makes it just on point damn it he's so cool
"There's no shirt for your face." -Bill Burr-
So true! Plastic surgeries not for medical emergency purposes are gross!
I nominate Bill Burr for title of best comic alive in 2018!
Bill Burr Rocks!!! Always guaranteed ROFLMAO entertainment!
I actually cried this was so funny lmao i love this guy
What’s really messed up is when people get implants in their butt or calves. Most of the bugs have been worked out with boobs but calves and butts seem to have trouble with a southern migration (if you know what I mean.)
that fkin "SHRED EVERYTHING!!" line kills me everytime
This guy had me on my back laffing 🤣🤣🤣🤣
this bit was funnier than i remembered!
Your always on the mark! Your number Uno in my my world!!
"There"s no shirt for your face..." Little did he know how wrong he was.
Don’t act like mask didn’t exist in 2014
@@royhuang9715 yea cuz everybody was wearing masks in 2014
@@justc1re617 yeah medical worker wear masks, a lot industry requires masks. Also many people from Asia wear masks due to air pollution, a lot Japanese wear masks due to allergy. American Neoliberals like you tends to think you represent the world. The fact is you don’t and you are a minority.
Sad thing is there was probably someone in the audience who has plastic surgery
That's the funny part 🤣
I watched this video the 1.000th time or so, still legendary.
🙏Bill Burr🙏
23 people can't look at themselves in the mirror anymore.
24 now
32 now m8
69 now.
love this guy, seriously.
Just awesome
Oh FUCK that's funny.
Zucc doesn't like the lizard jokes.
Lmfao😂😂😂 I bet he's laying eggs right now😭
He is simply amazing....a big fan
Bill js so right but also so hilarious. I love his honesty.