Anger Management: How to let go
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- I make videos about life.
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One of the worst feelings in the world is when you're hurt and never get an apology. Realizing that the need for an apology in order to have closure comes from a sense of entitlement is a good first step in learning to let go, and I hope I can stop dwelling on past hurts and stop letting them affect my life. I wish this for you all as well.
It's only Human (nature) to feel and think the way you do as I feel that way at times however understand the WHY makes it easier to "LET GO". If I can add something that Dr. Conte could have added to bring maybe a clearer understanding for one to truly "Let Go" it would simply be, "Ego and Pride will be one's demise" Peace and Blessings
Shit u might be right
But what if you want to beat up the ones that have ruined awesome opportunities for you and keep threatening the ones you would litterly die for protecting and also getting angrier when they’re too cowardly to say it face to face and they always call the cops on me when I get angry..what else do I do
@@cjarmourimfromthetoughdead5487 Let’s fist fight
Thank u for this
The audio quality is making my ears angry. But I really like this advice.
Lol. Sorry about that! With every new video, I am learning more and more about how to make videos. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
zelemont I Was Gonna Say The Same😂
feel like my right ear went deaf! But thanks for the great video. ;-)
Whingy
Let go
Thank you. "If someone who was in a dark place hurt you, why carry that darkness any longer?" Quote may not be exact but this blew me away. Thank you, again.
I want to let go of this old anger but it's very very hard for me! When people do things to me I stay angry about it for years. How can I forgive others???
@@gregoryhanson6824 letting go is tough. I've had to ask God for help and pray that he will bless those who've hurt me. He has helped me a lot even if it's taken me a while to actually forgive. There is healing in the Messiah Yeshua. :)
@@YeshuaIsTheTruth Amen! 🙏🏾❤
I don't like that quote as it's not always applicable. The "dark place" may be the normal personality of someone. Why would I excuse their behavior under the false belief they are having a bad day? They're just evil bastards who enjoy using their power to inflict pain on others. For those people, all I can say is that karma is a bitch and they will eventually run get into a scrap with someone more evil and powerful than they are and get destroyed. In the meantime, the best revenge is a happy life. It will bring them displeasure if they find out what they did really had no effect on your happiness.
Thank you. Great advice. My left ear is pleased.
Lol. Nice. Thank you! Much peace!
☺️
Please get help for your right ear, as soon as possible 😢
The hardest part... when you constantly do everything to “let go” “forgive” etc but you’re met face to face with the fact that letting go happens slowly. Anger is a difficult thing. Thanks for the video.
Have you ever TRy imaginé person then forgive what others did to you but Ford that se needs Lord to ve im faith becsuse trough him can actualy forgive! Uf yiu heared od hagiotherapy its Great Will you check it?
Wow, Finally heard something that makes sense to me, you’ve struck a chord in me,
For 7 years now the rage has infested my body, i wake up every morning angry, and enraged
Its killing my life,
Im going for a walk right now and am going to really reflect on this advise because i know deep down its the truth,
Will listen to this video again and start today,
Thank You Sir
Thats great man ive been theyre when you do let go you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders
Truly outstanding. To this day I carry with me deep deep wounds from physical and mental abuse from my father but practice my faith and several of the points you just made to cope with the pain and to move on. Great work my brother. God bless you and your family.
Chuck McGee, does it ever get any easier? I'm dealing with a similar issue (severe mental abuse from someone I loved and trusted) and I seem to keep falling into the trap of letting this person (who isn't even physically on my life anymore) monopolize my thoughts and emotions. I know I have to practice what he says in the video, but I was wondering if you had anything to add based on experience. God bless!
@@meaty220 Hello George - Dr. Conte discusses some really great points in another video (see below) that may help. "Self-talk - what you are saying to yourself can protect your peace "loving - kindness, loving - kindness, loving - kindness" check it out! ruclips.net/video/iNjK-yNvlI0/видео.html
same because i have a noodle dick
I felt this one. I’m dealing with the same issue and although i decided to fully cut him out of my life a few months back when I decided it would be the last time he hurts me - the whole process is hurting my heart so much. I guess it’s the whole acceptance thing, but some part of me wishes it was completely different and i had a dad who loved me to not make me wanna hurt. Or at least love me enough to be sorry for when he does, but in his head he can do no wrong. And that’s the hard part about moving on ... I want him to hurt and feel all the pain that he’s caused me over the years and right now, but instead he’s rather not know of me than accept his wrongs and get help, that speaks volume to me. He carries on with his life, gives love to his other children and I feel like I’m the one he just hated. I don’t get it, he’s supposed to be my dad the one to protect me against any danger and harm yet he’s the one that causes it. For years I’d make up with him and it would happen again and again and I know it’s right to not have him in my life anymore I know I made the right decision but a part of me is holding onto him maybe changing? But I know he never will, I have to let go, it’s affecting my head everyday I’m angry and upset and bitter with the people I love because of what he’s done to me. It isn’t right. I have made the first step of breaking off physically but breaking off mentally is something I’m struggling with. I hope you’re feeling better a year down the line and I wish you nothing but peace love and happiness in ur life. I know how much abuse from family members can hurt and damage u. U are stronger than them, u are stronger than the abuse and u will get thru this. I believe it’s all part of the process, the anger and hurt and upset, some stuff never truly leaves but I pray that we can all be happy one day and free of our past. We are more than this. I’m proud of u
same issue here . except it’s my two elder brothers instead . they’ve bullied me ever since my childhood . and they’ve also physically assaulted me . in my own house . letting go is so hard . but it’s the best way . I’m sick of screaming . arguing and punching/slapping walls to try and make my point . life is just not fair . we can’t change people . we can’t change life . we can only help ourselves thrive and survive .
I was bullied and ostracized in grade, middle, and high school 🏫 25 years ago which fills me with anger and resentment but after watching this video I decided to try and move on and do some good for the world 🌎 and forgive others who have hurt 😞 me. It is not going to be easy but it definitely has to be done ✅ so I can move on and not carry so much pain and negativity on my shoulders.
Me too, I had to go to 2 different middle schools and 2 different high schools before I graduated. I was bullied really bad and have intermittent explosive disorder, and was bullied in the military too sadly and developed PTSD because of it. I get sudden anger attacks and rapid heart beat and sweating out of nowhere sometimes.
My anger is so uncontrollable I project it onto my loved ones -my little brother, my best friends, occasionally my parents etc- and I know I keep hurting them. I figured out music really helps me but today I finally just snapped and nothing seemed to be working and I just...well I treated my friends like complete shit. I need serious help, I hate hurting the ones I love so I’m seriously hoping your channel can help me until I can find someone in person
My left ear learned a lot today about anger management
What's with the left ear ?
Second left ear comment I have heard.
You are very skilled at putting things simply in order to break down the steps people need to take to make emotional progress. Thank you for starting to update your channel regularly! I am really hoping to see more parenting videos, if you could. That is how I found your channel. I would be particularly interested to see your take on helping kids get past nightmares and being scared of the dark, and also how to handle it when your child acts out in anger in school on a routine basis. My 6 year old son has been lashing out at other kids and having a hard time getting along with other kids, even though his behavior at home is perfectly calm and happy.
Thank you so, so much. I really have worked my entire career at trying to break down complex subjects in easy-to-understand ways, so your words mean a lot to me. And yes, I love that idea for a video. Also, I'm starting a call-in radio talk show (and there'll be an app so people can listen and call in from anywhere), and that also sounds like a great topic we could discuss on there! I will let everyone know as soon as the details are set for the show. Thank you again for your kind words - and yes, I'll definitely address those questions! Much peace!
This guy is like the hidden guru. You are appreciated. Much love, peace.
This video gave me so much pace, I have no words to express the gratitude for your words, for finding your channel and this video
This makes so much sense now that you explain it like you did. I have always held on to anger and I’m tired of it. I can’t wait to apply this to my life and become a much happier person. I don’t want that darkness in my life and I am ready to let go of anger. Thank you Dr Conte for another amazingly inspirational video.
I found it hard to let go over what my step dad did to my mum years ago until the day I was big enough to deal with it...I hurt him and I hurt the ones around me in the process. It's hard to watch someone hurt your mum and be powerless to do anything
shannon craig I would hurt him also ngl
happening in my fam rn. my sisters already knew, never to,d me. our childhoods were f’d...im often too angry, but rn i’m beyond anger. white-hot. dont know what to do w it.
I liked the story about the monks. Of course, all anger is because we remember something from the past. All anxiety is about something we believe will happen in future. Past and Future are just concepts in mind. We are living in ever changing present moment but mind oscillates between past and future.
A typical person says "let it go" You show how! Thank you
This is the only video that explains to me what to actually DO when I have an angry episode.
I just want to personally commend you, Dr. Conte. You are a beautiful human being. It only works if you work it.
Thank you so much for taking time to spread kindness. That means a lot to me. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you, sometimes it's hard to remind yourself to be grateful, humble and forgiving.
But you're right, now I'll ask myself what I can do for others. Hopefully anger will linger less.
Yes 100%! It's definitely challenging at times, but it sounds like you know exactly what will lead you to more peace, so please know I'm sending you all my best and tons of peace!
@@DrChristianConteThank you Christian for your kind words
I've watched many things on anger but for some reason, your words seem to sink in. So glad I found your channel 💜
I appreciate hearing that Jodie. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Doc, what you're saying sounds very pretty ,let's not forget the evolutionary and protective role of anger.I'm a Behavioral Therapist ,I greatly understand the cognitive process. The problem with letting go of the past is when the same precipitating behavior of others continues to present. I can forgive the past, but when the past is now, it's much more difficult.
This right here
Excellent advice..... despite being committed to self development for years... I still hold onto the 'wrong things' that others have done to me or worse still to my nearest and dearest. Just last night I refused to shake someones hand as I knew they have serially mistreated/used a very close friend... even though that friends has fully forgiven the individual... I was 'holding on' and bought it back in the present moment leading to negativity etc. I will learn to let go by focussing on other things..
I haven't realized this new focus on a sense of entitlement, part of my anger comes from that sense of "why don't people act the right way" The "right way" being following the established rules. From my perspective that wasn't entitlement but common sense. I understand that I need to focus on what people do right, what can I do for others and be grateful for that. Thanks for the advice.
No matter what I do, I can never make everything better! I feel like trying to please others only gives me more grief!
For real!!! When I help others, I am dismissed, used and taken for granted. I have always focused on others, believing that by my actions, others would treat me with love, kindness and respect. That hasn’t worked out very well for the last 30 years. I no longer volunteer, I no longer offer, I no longer sacrifice for others. Now, I only think about myself, bettering myself, achieving more for me.
I'm not a religious person, but yesterday a buddy of mine was talking to me about how angry he was over an issue with his ex-wife. He mentioned it to his mom, and his mom, a very sweet and very religious lady reminded him to "count your blessings". That is such old, almost trite advice, but i guess really she was in her down-home way telling him to do the very thing you've suggested in this video. Focus on gratitude (which can be hard when you're pissed).
Thank you so much for your loving sprit. You have no idea how much you've been helping me and all of us.
Respect, always a big thanks for dropping knowledge
Thank you. Much peace!
I judged you and almost didn’t listen to this video. I’m glad I did. Thanks.
Another amazing video. Anger is a weight to let go of because all it does is hold you down.
Thank you! Much peace!
Your advices might actually save my life
I subscribed and will continue trying to find a better mental status through your videos
Oh my gosh thanks I’ve been holding on to something since October it’s January now, I should not live in a world of entitlement, that the world will let us down sometimes. And focus on better things rather than focus on the anger. Thank you so much! I’ll try it.
Love your videos! They have helped me control the thing that would probably end the amazing friendships that I care about so much!
So thank you Dr Christian Conte
So grateful to hear that! Thanks for telling me. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I'll admit it, much of my anger stems from my expectations that were not met. I've since learned to focus on myself and on what I can control which will hopefully lead to more self fulfilment.
Wow! Thank you for this jam packed video. I will need to listen to it again and again. I am 47 and I have only begun to realize that I can have control over my thoughts.
I can't switch from hanging on to anger to acts of compassion. I can divert myself by doing things I enjoy ,planning a fun project or getaway, and catching my angry thoughts before they take over. Maybe after I'm good at this I can become more altruistic. But helping people , albeit compassionately, has all kinds of caveats.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. Letting go is not easy for a lot of people, but it’s a necessary step for healing.
Unforgiveness is like a thorn in the flesh, the wound won’t heal until the thorn is removed. One way I help my foster children to let go is by helping them find purpose in what they went through.
Yes! I completely agree with you! It can be so tough to let go, but I want to help people be able to truly let go, because it provides so much freedom. Sending you all the best and tons of peace!
It seems like this information should be common sense but even for those that already know this, it always helps to have a reminder. Thank you.
Thank you! I actually love hearing that, because I've always wanted the info I teach to be really easy to understand. The truth is, life isn't complicated, but just because it isn't complicated doesn't mean it's not hard to do. Definitely sending you tons of gratitude and peace!
Thank you for your clear analysis of why people hold on to past issues and what still gets them angry....and how to help them “let it go.”
A family member still, today, gets so emotionally angry over an ex-landlord when he reminisces of him and the issues that happened between him and the ex-landlord ... which happened 7 years ago!
My left ear liked the advice! Thank you!
Doctor C. His videos keep me going in times of distress. Dr Christian c. Plus prayer. Keeps me level headed and helps stop me from over reaction
So grateful to hear these are helpful. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
This video really helped me to let go of a bad event that happened today. Thank you and God bless!
I'm sorry it took me so long to see this message, and I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience. I'm grateful that this video was able to be helpful for you. I hope you're doing much better now. Please know I'm sending you all of my best and tons of peace!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I’m so glad you specialized in anger management your saving me theraphy time and money God bless you
thank you so much. your videos are helping me change my perspective on so much. i really needed this right now
I get what you're saying. I have a lot of pent-up anger from the child abuse that my late father did to me and my siblings. It's time for me to move on, as dad passed away nearly 20 years ago.
I feel like you've really also experienced and dealt with this issue which is nice. I often see spiritual teachers who look like they've never been angry a day in their life and I'm like how can they relate? I just had the rudest person call me on the phone and they really mistreated me. I wish I hadn't even picked up. I got so angry I wrote a long email explaining to her why what she did was wrong. But luckily I decided to wait and call their management in the morning instead. This gave me enough time to find your video. I really was "entitled" - felt "this should not happen to me" and "I don't deserve this". It doesn't matter what I deserve or not - it happened. And instead of focusing on the negative I'm going to focus on gratitude and compassion instead. Maybe she's in a dark place and hurting people because she's not even conscious or aware that others have feelings and experiences. How can you hurt someone and be conscious at the same time? You can't. Today I'm going to be grateful instead. I'm grateful for the many things I have, the love that is around me, and your video. It really nearly brought me to tears. Thanks doc, wonderful video.
Thank you so much for this amazing advice that’s helped me to forget toxic people in my life
100%. Much peace brother!
Great wardrobe choice, makes you more relatable.
thank you for these words of wisdom! it helped me a bit today :)
Thank you i recently had a negative experience from someone in my past and the thoughts about it were going to bring me down. I appreciate this because it finally put words to the pain i was feeling.
I'm so sorry to hear about you struggling. Please remember that no matter what you're experiencing, there is a beginning, middle, and end to every emotional experience - so ultimately, everything we experience will eventually pass. Sending you all the best and tons of peace!
I'm so glad i found your channel allways got angry over things i couldn't control now much happer
What's up Gary! That's awesome to hear brother! Sending you much peace my man!
This is definitely one of the topics I was hoping to find Dr. Conte. I have tons of old stuff that I need to let go of, I know I have to let go because it's eaten at me and kept me in an anger state for years and years. Even those around me are telling me I have to let these things go and I always wanted to but I never knew how to actually do it. I am very excited to now have the tools this video gave me. I really feel like I will finally be able to do it because there is tons in here that I relate strongly to. THANK YOU!!!!!
This video is three years old and still helping people. Thanks ❤️
Awesome.Loved this so much..
Thanks for the excellent video and strategy. I have seen other videos explaining why to let go, without an explanation of how to let go. I found your channel only a week ago, and am already feeling the positive benefits. Peace brother
Service is the fastest way out of self 🔥🔥
100!
Thank you Kratos, I really needed this video
Thank you very mutch my brother
This makes alot if sense. Thanks so much.
I think it’s important to mention that letting go doesn’t mean we don’t seek healing from the root of anger and or therapy if we struggle with anger.
Thank you! I needed to hear this.
This. Makes a lot of sense. I like to let by gones be by gones. Willing to bury hatchets and help that person out. If they insult me and continue to get angry when I explain why I can't do something I know I get angry. After a day I realize the person loses my respect and if they can't let their anger go than I can't help them if they have no respect for those around them.
Thank you so much for these videos. I really related to what you said about anger becoming your identity. I've really been struggling with letting go, and I like your idea about replacing thoughts. I definitely need to get out of the me me me loop that goes on in my head.
I appreciate you! Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Man I need to hear this, thanks. I’m going to shift my focus, concentrate on my gratitude!
Easier said than done indeed however I will say it’s been helpful at reducing some of what makes me angry
God bless you! This is the BEST explanation of how to let go. It's not easy to do at first, but it does get easier with practice. Thank you for this great video. Peace.
Thank you so much Alina! Sending you much gratitude and peace!
I've held on to resentment from unresolved crimes from employer & family, for 21 years. Lifes not fair but people should be ashamed, no accountability!! God will judge them & karma!! My life has been OVER 21 YEARS BUT OK Its my job to help others & be grateful for all I do have.
ILL TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT...THX DOC! PEACE
The Monk story is Powerful!
Thank you
Thank you 🙏🏼
I really needed to hear this today. I wish I had heard it twenty years ago. Thanks, doc.
You are a great story teller, and full of meaning
Thank you. I love stories so much. I have always loved telling them, and your words mean a lot to me. Thank you! Definitely sending you much peace!
I like the idea of replacing the thought with something else but I know thinking about helping someone else won’t help me when I need the help. So, I’m replacing my thoughts of anger with something that will help me. Thanks for the suggestion.
4:10 that bit about identity cut me deep bro, I never even realised how much I'd made rage a part of me
Awareness is so powerful, and what a great example of you having the courage to recognize that and own it. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you.
Excellent and practical advice I can start putting to work right now! Love it!
Thank you! Sending you much peace!
I wouldn't like to upset this man so I'm going to subscribe
When ever I get upset I come see you and watch this video. I think it’s because I relate to you.. you look like someone I would be friends with.. and it inspires me to hear you be so positive. Thanks man
Very much needed! So helpful, thanks for this😊
100% So glad it helped! Much peace!
@Dr Christian Conte your channel is phenomenal , really enjoying it and really enjoyed your Ted talk as well
Thank you so much Mike. I put my heart and soul into what I do, brother. Sending you much peace my man!
Thanks for the much needed advice. Great first video. Subbed
I have people in my who did unjust things to me. To me these people didn't get the justice they deserve and I find it impossible to let it go.
Thank you for this sir, I know you did it a while ago, but its helped me. Your words are inspiring, and the analogy was really profound.
I got bullied in school. I think it caused lots of pain, trauma, anger, hatred and affected my mental health. I feel like I’ve struggled with this since around high school. My sad reality. I’m recently trying to get more help with hatred and anger. Realizing that I have this issue. I got so used to it. Sometimes I’m not entirely sure if I have truly 100% forgiven and truly let go of what the bullies caused and hurt I’ve received. Any help is appreciated. I want to be filled with Love and not hatred. 😢
I’m really sorry 😞. I was bullied in school 🏫 also which was 25 years ago.
This is exactly what I needed, thank you very much!
Man this is hard for me, I have anger temper, and I am a rlly stubborn person, he calls out every thing that describes me, but it’s harder for me cuz of my stubborn mind
Same stubbornness in me killing me
You our a great teacher I love your videos
Well that's pretty awesome to hear! Thank you so much for your kind words! Sending you much peace!
Thank you Dr. Conte. Can you please, illustrate the difference of replacing painful stuff with new stuff, and stuffing one's emotions?
Thank you for this. Useful 💙
thank you sir. your video and technique help a lot.
I needed this perspective, thank you
Definitely! Sending you much peace!
Well said! I found some peace from listening to this. Subscribing and recommend this to everyone!
Thank you so much. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace (and gratitude)! 🙏🏼
I just now did it my brother is the thing that makes me have 2 learn this and it is very important for me 2 do
Man, this is an eye-opener. Never thought that Empathy would be so beneficial to myself. Thank you so much, this might change my life completely !
Thank you. Please know I'm sending you all my best and tons of peace!
This was so good🙌🏽 I needed it
I know I don't have a problem holding on to anger, my problem is with small outbursts that hurt the people around me. My fiancé left me because I was just too angry and irritable all the time. I didn't mean to project that toward her, but it happened and I hurt her and she felt like it was necessary to leave.
I'm trying my hardest to understand my triggers and become a better human. I'm having a hard time understanding what it was exactly that caused my anxiety/irritability. I've completely eliminated alcohol and marijuana, because I was headed down a bad path. I've started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist to get my mental health in check and discuss these issues. I'm definitely an impatient person so the snail pace that is mental recovery is weighing on me.
I will get better.
I will heal.
I will be at peace.
Very helpful
Chris, Good food for thought. 😊
I'm learning to let go of anger and gonna continue to practice to let go of anger , thank you for this video
I never thought of myself as someone who feels entitled. But as I reflect on situations that have really angered me, that I perseverate on and fume over I think you’re exactly right😏 I find myself thinking, “who the hell do they think they are talking to me like that? Or they don’t know what they’re even talking about or doing or thinking or saying etc. etc. I have several masters degrees and I think that I feel like people who maybe don’t have as much college time under their belt shouldn’t be trying to put me in my place so to speak it’s not that I go out looking to be pissed off butPeople will say something that irritates me and then I revert back to the hell dare you mode. Thank you for saying this in a way that resonated. I look forward to working on letting this go
This is a phenomenal comment! It is clear that you are genuinely wise, and it's clear too, that you are willing to look at your own ego (something that we all need to do if we hope to grow). I'm grateful for your words, but I'm also grateful for your presence, because it's growth like this that is what it will take to make genuine changes. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to call my radio show on Monday nights. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you so much! The best advice that I've ever heard..
Super-grateful for your kind words. Sending you much gratitude and peace!