Radical Mindset Shift To Help You Clean Your Home (KC Davis)
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- Опубликовано: 4 июл 2024
- Feeling overwhelmed with trying to juggle household tasks while dealing with fatigue, discouragement, and too much to do? You're not alone! Dive into this video discussing KC Davis's book "How to Keep House While Drowning" for insightful strategies on maintaining a clean home even when you're exhausted. It’s a great help when you are wondering how to manage household chores without stress.
Don't forget to subscribe for more videos about decluttering, cleaning, simplifying, slowing, and enjoying life more.
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing
amzn.to/3XzLbbK
00:00 Introduction
00:51 About KC Davis's book and her story
02:47 Laziness is not a real thing.
04:37 Care Tasks not Chores
06:28 Why we feel guilt or failure
09:24 Why it's hard to stick with self-help programs
13:07 5 Step Tidying Method
15:00 How to fake a clean house
16:19 The difference between organized and tidy
20:12 Being messy is not a moral failure
21:13 Routines vs Rhythms
24:09 Important to Remember
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Hey - thanks so much for being here! Do you relate to what KC says? It makes so much sense to me. What do you think?
On days when I feel really weak, I just say to myself “ just go put 10 things in the dishwasher “. Or. “ just go clean one toilet”. Then I sit down and rest. Maybe twenty minutes later I can do 10 more dishes or put a load in the washer. I take tiny, baby steps and don’t beat myself up about it.
Sometimes, that’s exactly where I am. Those days always make me feel more grateful when I have better days.
@CynthiaMiller-cc3qj same here! Some days it's baby steps and I am glad that I managed that.
I do this too. Even do toilet in parts - toilet bowl, toilet seat, outside of toilet. Some days are hard.
Amen!
That bedspread is GORGEOUS
Thanks! I really love it. It’s so cheerful.
It used to bother me when I got behind on cleaning the house...One day a friend, who did certain cleaning things on specific days of the week, told me that if she didn't have time or get to it on that day, she didn't do it the next day, it would get done the next week on the designated day.... Later she also stated that if she didn't clean for 10 days it didn't mean she was 10 days behind pointing out that, for example, dusting the house would take the same amount of time if it was dusted daily or once every 10 days...it was a light bulb moment for me......I no longer feel the pressure I once felt b/c I was behind...I know I can clean my bathroom, including mopping the floors and the baseboards in 30 mins or less no matter how long it's been since I last cleaned it. Things like piled up laundry are a bit different b/c it piles up and the hamper overflows. And a filthy floor will take a little longer to clean than one that has a few days dirt..same for greasy stove tops...it's easier and quicker to wipe them up after each meal if you've used them. One thing I do is allot an amount of time to get a job done...if I don't I'll spend more time than is necessary to do it......working against the clock is a challenge and is energizing. If I'm really sick, I rest...there is very little that must be done housework wise that can't wait a day or two or three.
I quit hating cleaning when I reframed my thinking which changed my attitude toward cleaning. I'd always think/complain to myself "I have to clean'...I'd focus on that. Then I got cancer. And cleaning took the back seat..I was afraid and scared and oh how I wished that I didn't have cancer and was willing to do anything to survive it. And that's when I started saying to myself "oh goody, I get to clean the house today" or whatever the cleaning task was. Once I got well the words were kind of hollow b/c now everything was back to normal...But I kept on framing it that way. And guess what...I learned to love being able to do the chore. I found ways to make it easier, more efficient and even fun..Seriously. Gratefulness and thankfulness go along way...when we check our attitude it is often we will find we've got an attitude problem..a 'woe is me' problem. And that is when we start seeing ourselves as a victim. If we play the victim we will find ourselves in bondage. And we will stay in bondage until we realize it, reject the lies and confront ourselves. Every thought we have tends toward life or death. When we condemn ourselves, believing we are worthless, lazy, etc that's not from God...It's Satan who wants to destroy us. And once we realize that we become aware that what Christ said is true: As a man thinketh, in his heart so is he'. What we think reveals what we believe and when we change our thinking which changes what we believe, the process of doing that will transform us and all cleaning, chores, etc will become less burdensome. We'll still get tired, but we won't be stressed which is a whole lot better for our body.
There is so much wisdom in your comment! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. I truly appreciate it. It’s such a good reminder of what’s most important.
I changed my attitude about cleaning by playing hymns and singing while doing housework. I also thank God for the beautiful dishes I have and how privileged I am to be the good steward of said items. At the very least set a timer for 15 minutes. I am a cancer survivor with a spinal condition so I struggle. Gratitude works wonders. ❤
@toots810usa6 I love this! It’s so true. Thanks for reminding us. 😀
@toots810usa6 love this! ❤️❤️❤️
I know I've commented before but simply have to say it again: It is so refreshing to hear the actual "truth" about maintaining the home for "real" people.
It is very demoralizing to click on one video after another looking for real solutions to our challenge, and getting another video saying how "this" system (regardless of which it is) is *the* solution and works for absolutely everyone since it is so adaptable and then goes on to make ridiculous claims.
Thanks so much. I’m glad you’re here! I’m so happy that the videos are helpful. That’s what I’ve been hoping for.
I love the 5 step tidying method.
I would rename it the Pile method as you are putting things into piles then dealing with them.
Step 1 - Gather each type of item into their own pile.
Step 2 - Deal with each pile.
I would also add in:
The rubbish pile - also go through fridge and grab any out of date food to throw away.
A Paperwork Shredding Pile - put items that need shredding in a pile on top of the shredder.
My real achillese heel is paperwork / admin.
I really wish I could get on top of it.
I guess I will just have to come up with some pile categories eg file, bin, shred, deal with etc.
Once you have a home (or pile) for everything, it then makes decluttering easy.
You go through all your large "piles" where you store like with like eg:
Your wardrobe
Your sock drawer
Your make-up box / drawer
Your food cupboards
Your Medicine Cabinet
Your Junk Drawer
Your box of IT cables
Your Books
Your stationary cupboard
Your cleaning products
etc etc etc
It sounds like you’ve really got this thought through. Cool! I’ll tell you what I do with paperwork. It works really well. When I bring in the mail, I stand over the garbage can and throw all of the junk away. I immediately pay the bills and destroy the paperwork, because you don’t need to save most of it. The only things that need to be saved are tax documents, warranties, insurance policies, etc. 99.5% of what comes into your home can go away. I have a little folder with pockets for each year and I file what I need to save in there and I do it right then. I learned to manage paperwork like this when I owned a company and it saved me. Hope that helps!
I am so grateful to have found your channel! Finally, what I have been dealing with for years is explained and addressed with helpful and meaningful steps to take to get on the other side of what has been a living hell for me and surely for others as well. If I tried to find all the words to tell you how much this means to me, I'd be in tears and a blubbering mess for rest of the morning but instead I'm getting up and going to do what I can today, and do my best not to compare myself to others, etc. I find I downplay A LOT and I am going to do my best to stop doing that to myself and apologizing. No one in my world truly gets it when I tell them my energy just STOPS all of a sudden, my brain is done and I can't do anything else for the rest of the day/evening. Constant interruptions, physically challenging tasks and chaotic drama or stress make it come on faster. The struggle is REAL!
You are a brave lady for sharing all of this, putting your own life's foibles and struggles out there to help others. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul! Subscribed!!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us! It means so much to me to hear that the video was helpful to you. It’s very encouraging to me. If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend that you watch last week’s DOT Method. In it, I share a method my cognitive therapist taught me to manage my energy so I can take better care of myself. One of the best benefits is that it has given me a language to communicate to my family how I am feeling that they can understand. They have become more supportive because everyone wants me to be in the “green” as much as possible and they know what’s helpful to me and what’s not. Take care of yourself. You deserve it!
Thank you. You have actually made me feel normal, when I thought I was failing❤😊
I’m so glad it has been helpful to you. That makes me feel happy!
I loved when you said that so many will tell you, "This system is great! If it's not working for you, then either you're not really doing it or there's something wrong with you.". I literally used to feel this way; I believed them and was convinced that there must be something wrong with me if "everyone" else seems to find this the solution to all the problems I was having but I just can't seem to hack it. Without going into detail, I just cannot, simply cannot, clean my entire house, floors, change linen, etc in one hour...yes, even if I try to do it superficially and only do the main areas of the floors. And I actually had someone who was doing a video series tell me, that if I am not really serious about this and don't really want to do it, then maybe I shouldn't watch her videos. She was right about only one part of that sentence, the ending!
I have to tell you my mouth about hit the floor when I read this. Wow. Just wow. I’m so sorry someone would say that to you!
....I am a former Professional Organizer/ Housekeeper....and I read your Comment, and I completely " got it " .... the other part of your Comment, about " cleaning your home in an hour " ...THAT is not attainable, even superficially... How does that seem reasonable...to " clean your house in an hour "? A more realistic approach is doing o n e room a day...depending on the amount that needs done. An hour to ckean the Bathroom.....still feeling ambitious.? .. Then do another small task.
I h a v e watched the several Creators that want us to believe that " Yes ! You CAN clean your Home in a hour !" ( she's well - known, I wont mention her Name ) ..I even Commented on that Channel, that I do not find that attainable, and it is a " stress creator "... I had to also ponder
"the w h y " when creating a Video wuth that kind of Content....it seems " not as encouraging as it is made out to be " ...if you understand my meaning. ..it seems dis- empowering in a sense. 🤔
Your sentence about being told that ' if you aren't really serious about this, and don't really want to do it ,then maybe you shouldn't be watching her Videos..." I WAS FLOORED. ..! WOW. I was shaking my head , since n o t every " system " being Shown Out Here in RUclips Cleaning / De- clutter Land " is a One - size fits all Proposition " ...I've even stated as such in Comments, on Certain Channels... .. the whole " De- clutter Thing " has reached epidemic proportion... I'm not interested in getting rid of my Books.. my Hobby Items ... you get the idea. I don't believe one needs to be a Minimalist to have a clean, tidy Home..
Now, releasing things that you TRULY don't need, OR NEVER USE. ..that is a different thing .
When I watch a few of the Channels about all this .. I take it all with a Grain of Salt...because, we are all different. We need to understand " our own Rythmn " ...as she stated here in this Video. ..I have long subscribed to that " Rythmn " because it is beneficial...
That makes more sense than thinking you " are Less Than " after watching various " Cleaning Channels:. " that are telling you that you CAN do all the Homecaring ( that's my Term for it. Because you are Caring for your Home ) ..in an Hour ..That is nonsense.
I had This particular Video come up in my Feed and I decided to watch it and I am so glad I did. .....
This lovely woman is the voice of reason amidst all the " Cleaning and Decluttering Channels " that are way over the top ...and you know which ones I mean.....lol..
~Blessings 🙏🏻
@@TowardsASimpleLife...I loved your Reply to her Comment, I was floored as well, when I read that someone actuallystated that to her. ...; And trust me, I am older.I am Old School....I am not offended easily .. but that ....that seemed totally inappropriate to say that to a Viewer. !
And ,I am now a New Subscriber.
I love this so much! Thank you for adding your own voice of reason here. People need to see this. I’m so glad you found your way here!
@texasstardust6010 so glad!!
Thank you so much for sharing this book! I was mentally nodding my head a lot as you talked about your takeaways. I am sorry that you are struggling with a chronic illness and yet you are turning that into lemonade with your RUclips channel encouraging others that have life challenges. I am putting a hold at the library for this book. Just wish I had heard of it early but will consider this God’s perfect timing. I struggle with low energy without a diagnosis…I’ve tried several of those encourager’s books and apps and I do get discouraged that they haven’t worked for me. But I do a little here and there when I can. Thank you again for sharing your journey. ❤
So glad you heard it now! Have you seen last week’s video about the DOTS Method? In it, I teach the method that my cognitive therapist taught me for managing my energy and taking better care of myself. It has really helped me a lot. I hope it can help you too. It’s not the usual kind of thing you read about in books. I learned about it when I was seeing him for my Long Covid.
@@TowardsASimpleLife I will watch it. Thank you!
Just found your channel and this is the best video I’ve seen in a long time! Thanks for keeping it real. Seriously!
I’m so happy that you enjoyed it. Thanks for saying hello!
I need this message. The way I push myself to exhaustion trying to do all the things has landed me in the ER. Hit rock bottom multiple times because I could not see the way I was setting myself up for the opposite of success.
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. I relate to what you’ve said so much! Have you see my video about the DOTS method of managing energy? I was taught how to do it by my Cognitive Therapist when I was very sick with Long Covid and it has made such a huge difference to me. (I’m also the type that tends to push myself too hard.) I hope it helps you too! Look for the video with the thumbnail that talks about magical dots.
Enjoying your content, appreciate the effort you are putting into extracting the key points and sharing with us!
Thanks, Colleen. So glad you’re enjoying it! Have a great weekend!
I love your down to earth style and your realistic way of looking at things . I heard someone say once that being organized means “ you can find something when you need it”.. thank you for this video! I like your style!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my videos! 😀😀
Another great video. You really impart some great ideas and make me realise that I'm not going bonkers . I really liked the idea of rhythm rather than routine. I have Fibromyalgia and heart failure. I'm 57 and live alone in a rented flat in Somerset in the UK. It's a small flat, but I still can't get it perfect. (There's that horrible word). I have this habit of spotting things that are not clean enough. They are always in those hard to reach places. I am always certain that if anyone comes round they look for them. It is all in the mind. How we think and how we then choose our actions makes a such a difference. We almost become conditioned by society about what is expected of us as women. Single, married etc. I look forward to more of your hints and tips.
Oh my… I’m so sorry you have these challenges. What a combination. Bless you! I’m glad the video helped. It’s true that perfectionism tends to get us. Why do we always see what we think we need to do instead of what we have done? Sometimes, I wonder how we got that way. It’s such a common problem for many of us. So happy you’re here!
I follow KC on tiktok. She is so sweet and honest and motivating.
She seems that way to me!
Oh, I also wanted to say your bedding is so beautiful! 😊
Thanks!!
Thx I so needed this. I have fibro, chronic pain. I tend my 90 yr old mum with cancer. My daughter with mental issues and her 18 month old. My house is last. A disaster as hubs is a swine. Calgon take me away
Oh goodness… I forgot about Calgon. Yes. Let’s get some Calgon. I relate to so much of what you said. So much. Thanks for saying hi!
Great video! I needed to hear this!
Thanks! I’m glad it will help. 😀
My former "Stepmother-in-law" Joan kept an absolutely spotless home. My late father-in-law was known to follow his "New, second set of kids" around with a Dust Buster! (we called him Calvin Clean behind his back; it was ridiculous. He tackled my autistic toddler as we entered the house just to get his shoes off!) anyway, when my kids were younger and I was exhausted, husband gone...no motivation...I used to say, "WWJD"? J being Joan, not Jesus. She was a mentor of sorts. Then I gave myself a break. A very wise older woman told me, "Honey, you don't have to get anyone's approval but your own!" I DO feel better on days when I get more done, but I can't obsess over it like Joan. I still, however, do my level best to wake up to a clean kitchen, even if that only means an empty sink!
"If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, I'm not doing housework anymore" LOL
That older woman was wise for sure. I know what you mean about a clean kitchen in the morning. Having one really starts the day off right.
😀
The minute Marie Kondo had toddlers she gave up on tidying herself!
Oh yes! I remember hearing about that now. 😀
Ours is like a herd of hyper monkeys.
This made me laugh so much. 🐒
This sounds like a great resource for managing household chores! 💡
It really is! KC gave us some great advice in it.
It really is. Such good advice in this book. Hope you have a wonderful week!
@@TowardsASimpleLife Thank you so much! We're thrilled to hear you found the advice in the book helpful. Wishing you a fantastic week as well!
I so love the direction of your channel now❤ it is all wonderful helpful information. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks Dusti. I’m really enjoying it!
Thank you for sharing! I have to say though that it KILLED me to see you sitting on your knees on the floor the whole time. Hoping you didn't have too much pain and can find a better set up if you did.
Good news! I was actually sitting a grey storage box that I use as a footstool in the room. It has turned out to be the right size. So my knees are great. 😀 My only question for myself is, “Why did it take you so long to figure this out?” Ha. Seriously. I’ve filmed the last three videos sitting on the box. And I really wonder why it took me so long to figure out that I can sit on it. I’m kind of slow sometimes… Thanks for caring about me!
@@TowardsASimpleLife Color me RELIEVED 😅
I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen any of your previous videos… I have bought the book through your link and subscribed! You’ve made my day. 😊
So glad you found me. Welcome! Hope you look around my channel to see if there are other videos you enjoy. You’ll love the book. It’s great!
This video was just what I needed.. Thankyou. Xx
So glad!
Thank you for sharing this book and how it is helpful in your life. I need some encouragement to get through my days and to help me manage my home. I also have fibromyalgia. My husband and I are empty nesters now that our 4 children are all on their own. You are so helpful and I appreciate your video content.
You’re so welcome! I’m glad to hear it was helpful. Fibro is a challenge, for sure.
I have fibromyalgia, chronic Lyme, and chronic pain. I feel you completely. Fibromyalgia is no joke. The fatigue and body pain is so overwhelming. I maybe have an appt, do some laundry and I need to rest. Hard to get things done.
@theresabrown1272 absolutely.
Strongly recommend an audio book!
She is on MANY RUclipss.
I appreciate hearing her talk, and as I work! (oe not)
:-)
Thanks! I’ll have to check that out. I heard her on the Mel Robbins podcast a few months ago. I realized it was her while reviewing the book. She was outstanding.
Okay I get it there is a looooooong list of valid reasons or excuses why we sometimes cannot get things done. But laziness DOES exist. And maybe sometimes it COULD be laziness. But sometimes we can falsely attribute it to laziness when it could actually be mental overwhelm or a lack of knowing how to manage the tasks and coordinate everything.
I can’t speak for KC (obviously), but my sense from reading the book is that it is common for women who are suffering in some way to beat themselves up and say they are lazy when they actually have something else going on that needs to be addressed. I think this tendency for many women to self-flagellate (or overlook real problems) may be one of the issues she has to routinely help her patients overcome. I think this may be why she felt it was important to address this belief in her book.
@@TowardsASimpleLife Also, there is a big difference between laziness and procrastination....anyone who procrastinates understands this; we tend to be perfectionists, and also our self esteem is involved to the extent where if completing a task will benefit someone else, we hop to it. If it will benefit US......we put it off. Interesting...
@lizstraub6621 I agree. I believe that this is why KC lists procrastination as one of the replacements for the word lazy. People often think that someone who is procrastinating as “lazy” but there is more to it. Something else is stopping them. I used to always think that someone who is refusing to work is lazy, but actually, they may have one of the challenges that KC lists as alternatives and if they can be helped with those challenges they can start moving forward. She’s a therapist and helps hundreds of people through these challenges so they can feel better and start being productive again. I just hadn’t thought of it that way before I read her book. She has kind of changed my mind.
@@TowardsASimpleLife 85-90% chance there is probably an underlying reason. But it is sometimes that we just need to to it REGARDLESS of our feelings or underlying issues whatever people wanna call it.
@Jules-740 that’s true. I call those the essential activities - the things that help us maintain health fit in there. Sometimes, we have to let the nonessentials slide for awhile.
This was a great share! Thanks😁
You are so welcome
Just found you! I am working so hard in my mind, but I cannot keep my house clean. I spend so much time flagellating myself for being lazy. So glad I have a choice!!!!
I know just what you mean. I used to do that so badly. If you go back and watch earlier videos, you’ll hear me working through those same struggles. This is one of the reasons I’ve been researching solutions. When I find something good, I share it with all of you. 😀
So interesting and on point!
So glad you enjoyed it!
❤️❤️❤️
Thanks!!!
I don’t fully agree with KC Davis primarily because she says laziness isn’t real we know from reading the Bible, especially in the proverbs that laziness is real and it is a sin. I don’t think every homemakers problem is that they are lazy though I think they are battling with a lot. I do really love the title of the book though, It does strike a cord in many people I believe, especially women that have too much on their plate. Maybe their husband isn’t spiritually leading the home, maybe they have to try to provide, maybe their children aren’t honoring them, or maybe things outside of the house have become a distraction. they could be dealing with illness, or might even be spiritually sick with some wrong theological error like a false teaching or maybe they haven’t fully surrendered their life to God, it’s so hard to say… I do think a lot of distractions are super deceptive. Also just remembering that God is a God of order and the enemy loves to trick us into prioritizing the things in our life incorrectly which causes chaos and naturally this will show in our homes, because his whole goal is to steal kill and destroy he loves taking our joy. The enemy is so sneaky he knows exactly what type of bait to use. We must stop taking the bait.
That is a very interesting point! You've made me think.
I'm wondering if the type of laziness that the Bible mentions is different than KC is talking about - meaning, a Biblical "lazy" person truly doesn't want to help or work at all. It's their attitude. They are interested in "fun" and "relaxation" and work gets "in their way". If they are asked to help, they can't be bothered.
We're seeing some of that attitude appear on social media more and more, such as a TikTok posted by a girl who was complaining that a full time job lasts 40 hours a week. She feels that it is unfair because she gets tired and she doesn't have time for "fun." I think a case might be made that this is "lazy" thinking. It's also reminding me of the people who are '"quiet quitting" - just doing the minimal to get by. It also reminds me of a girl I saw in a video who would NOT do one more thing than was in her job description, even minor things. She said that she "wasn't being paid to do anything else." (I saw her on Dr. Phil.) Maybe it's just me, but that seems lazy. It certainly won't help her in the long term.
On the other hand, people who have the other types of problems KC is helping with WANT to do things, but are having problems because of their health, etc. I wouldn't consider them lazy because their desires are right. They are also the type of people who unnecessarily suffer because they are labeling themselves as "lazy" which not only isn't helpful, it's hurtful. God wouldn't have us be cruel to ourselves. I think that's the enemy in action because when we start seeing ourselves (unfairly) as bad, it pulls us away from God. We need to have hope. Perhaps, that's this is what KC is talking about. People who read a book like her are interested in being able to clean their home, but are overwhelmed and stuck, have their heart is in the right place. Buying and reading this book is a step towards it and isn't "lazy" behavior to do that.
Does any of this make sense to you?
I 100% agree with this Kayla!!! Thank you for this