What's the Dumbest Thing Anybody Has Ever Seriously Said To You?
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- Опубликовано: 22 сен 2024
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What's the Dumbest Thing Anybody Has Ever Seriously Said To You?
#Reddit #AskReddit
“My parents only put pressure on me because they love me and want what’s best for me.” Then why did they refuse to let you come back inside the house until you brought home all A-pluses?
Well that is what being traumatized and neglect does to you.
25 years from now it'll be, "I only put pressure on my kids because I love them and want what's best for them"
@@sturmovik5448 also 25 years later, "why aren't they visiting me, I don't like this retirement home"
Oh dear, sounds like a kid trying to cope.
@@stadot1427 Not stupid on the kid, stupid on the parents for being way too hard on them
“Why y’all sell TVs too big to fit in peoples cars?”
Asked by a customer, when I worked retail, after struggling mightily to get that tv he just bought in his little car…that was already full with his family.
"Those terrorists are going to kill us" the only response to that is looking that person directly in the eye and saying loudly "you really are an idiot" then ignore them for the rest of the trip
Honestly my response would probably be either gasping really loudly or saying, "Oh my God!" and getting up and walking away from them if at all possible.
“ you can’t get salmonella from eating medium rare chicken because it’s not salmon, it’s chicken”
Story about Columbian and Puerto Rican speaking Spanish: I had a classmate in college who was from Ecuador. He was talking, in Spanish, with the dining hall staff at the dorms, and was asked, "Oh, you speak Mexican?" Which leads to a rant about how it's Spanish, and more specifically Castilian since Spain has four official languages: Castilian, Catalan, Basque, and Romany.
Wait, what. I know we have a lot of gypsies in here, but when the hell did Romany ever become an official language in Spain? As a Spanish and Catalan speaker, living in Spain, I'd love to know that.
Jokes aside, as of now, the six official languages in Spain are: Spanish, Catalan, Valencian (Considered by many to be just Catalan, but differentiated for purely political reasons), Basque/Euskera, Galician and Aranese (which is only spoken by a few thousand people).
@@HarverTheSlayer maybe I'm misremembering the list. He named four, but it was 20 years ago.
@@kemarisite To be quite honest, I wouldn't even be surprised if somebody thought Romany is an official language here in Spain. Still, your comment just made my day, sir!
16:05 reminds me of a hiking trip with the Boy Scouts in Colorado in 2007 or so. Big national campground that hosted Scout troops from all over for a week or so of hiking. We had just arrived (from Minnesota) and set up our camp in a common area, where all the troops that would be hitting the trails the next morning spent their first night. By pure luck, I happened to overhear this gem from the Texan troop next door:
Looking around at glorious, majestic mountains in all directions: "So, where do you think they keep their rock-climbing walls?"
He lived in a flat state. He'd probably spent all his teenaged life in a flat state. The only climbing he'd ever seen was in indoor gyms. It had genuinely never occurred to him that you could rock-climb... on rocks.
What a bonehead.
One time got downvoted as fuck on an ask Reddit comment for some reason because I pointed out that the passing Lane is meant to pass slower drivers it is not a go as fast as you want lane
Similarly in real life a surprising amount of people get pissed when you point out the same fact
If actually used as they were supposed to be the passing Lane would almost always be empty with only rare quick excursions by single cars to pass slower vehicles like trucks
even goes as far as most states technically having laws or ordinances that basically expect you to stay to the right as much as possible although this is almost never actually enforced because Jesus fuck they'd have to ticket like half the damn state
Never heard the "left/inner lane is the go as fast as you want" lane before. But in the '90s my city (Tulsa, OK) was finally widening most of its streets from 2 to 4 lanes. Finally! Then a local newscaster on the evening news went on this long tirade about how the inner lane is for passing cars only and you must NEVER stray into it just to drive . . . and I sure as heck never heard THAT before, either. Twenty-five years later it still makes no sense to me.
I used to work in a kitchen and the head chef (who went to culinary school) was arguing with me because I mentioned that fish is a type of meat. To which she said “fish is fish, beef is meat” I was literally speechless
My old church used that exact logic. "No meat on Thursday (for some f*cking reason), but fish is fine since it's not meat"
I asked a relative about this recently. Animals that are, or can be, fenced in on land are considered meat. Fish are not fenced in and therefore not meat.
@@seanstewart302 definition of meat:
“the flesh of an animal (especially a mammal) as food” - Oxford Languages
fish are harvested for food therefore they are a meat.
Who would you believe more; your relative that clearly has flawed logic as fish are also captive bred and farmed or the literal dictionary…
the Catholic Church prohibits carnis specifically and the word carnis refers to the flesh of animals and birds (or more generically "land animals"). Therefore not acknowledging fish.
As a matter of fact Some Churches have revised their canon law, such as the Eastern Orthodox Church, to use other words during fast days to restrict all types of meat… including fish.
Educate yourself
In response to I like to laugh..... perhaps you should educate yourself. A fish is not a mammal. Mammals grow hair, give birth to live young, and produce milk to feed their offspring.
@I Like 2 Laugh
When you get out your dictionary next time be sure to look up the definition of mammals and the definition of fish. I should also mention that mammals are warm blooded and fish are not.
Remember to educate yourself!
Psychiatrist: "Maybe you just imagined it. Sometimes people remember things that didn't happen." It happened to four kids over 14 years. I wasn't interested in correcting her; just disregarded her.
I admit to being the dumb one for this one:
I used to watch my brother play a lot of GTA: San Andreas when it first came out. When he wasn't attempting missions, he was stealing cars and modding them (with the unlimited cash cheat). The one thing I remembered about the game was whenever it cut to night time, the moon would appear and was huge. I thought it was a good idea to ask my science teacher at school about this in front of my Year 7 class. I assumed in some parts of the world, the moon appeared huge and was very distant in other countries. My teacher knew it was dumb but he handled it well and simply answered that it was false. No, it was not my proudest moment. I was 12.
When I was in college, a fellow English major stated she wanted to change her major. Curious, I asked why and she looked me straight in the face and replied, "As an English major I didn't think I'd read and write so much."
😳
I’m a barista and a customer once asked me what the difference between almond milk and coconut milk was.
im a twin. that one upper, you know them, at a job once tried to tell me i didn't know anything about twins. i had to put htem in their place. "are you a twin???? No. anyone in your family twins??? no. then okay."
Oof, that dog story made me sad.
I'm super empathetic about pain. That story makes me hurt and nauseous.
My ex wife asked me if we needed to get passports before we went to New Mexico. We lived in Florida. For some reason she thought New Mexico was outside of the United States. Just one of the many reasons we got devorced.
Someone from New Mexico once told me they are often asked why everyone there speaks English.
When I was five I asked the contractor who I knew built several houses in our neighborhood if he was here when the dinosaurs were. I was never allowed to forget that one.
13:16 "Did you die?"
"Yes, but I lived"
I’m very left and my cousin is super right.
I mentioned how we need to spend more money on public transit like buses and trains.
He said this and he was serious:
“That’s not cost effective because it’s a bigger vehicle and therefore cost more to maintain than a car.”
I respond:
“50 people in a single bus is cheaper than 50 people in 50 cars.”
He still adamantly believed that all the cars being smaller made it cheaper and didn’t understand quality over quantity.
And, people like your cousin _vote_ .
and what do politics have to do with your comment about your brother's dumb statement?
@@Giovanni_Litterini
Reread the entire comment
I've genuinely had someone before say "You speak really good English for someone from England" they were American and thought only Americans spoke English, it actually took me a WHILE to explain to her that English people speak English.
Just gonna put this here... I don't know if the server that wanted to know if you wanted real ice was German. But ice in Germany is almost slang for ice cream. So maybe it was someone from over seas working... or maybe you were in Germany XD
I was training a new girl to do a job, and I told her it was just common sense. She replied,"" Oh, I don't think I have any of that"
She certainly didn’t.
That reading out loud is not a good thing to do in front of my brother. I swear, sometimes I just wonder why I don't bother having something smart or savage to say every time gramma tries to make some ridiculous complaint about what I'm doing.
Technically, every movie is based on a true story, because being based on something is utterly meaningless in terms of how close to reality the movie is. E.g., in Game of Thrones, the Red Wedding is based on the Sawney Bean Clan, therefore we can say that GoT was based on true stories.
Upon learning that I had a birth control implant "you don't even need birth control, you can just douche after and wash it all out"
This girl had to be the origin of all blonde jokes.
12:40 theres a difference between returning something cause you didnt want it anyways, and returning it because its defective.
That clarification seems to be missed sometimes.
Went on a trip to Yellowstone last year. We were waiting for Old Faithful to erupt. All of a sudden a lady comes up and asks us when they were going to turn the water on so that it would go off. 🤔
I've also heard of people who genuinely believe that the animals in national parks are zoo-style captives, and the rangers round them up into shelters each night
Check out the FAQs for Niagara Falls-one asks whether they turn the falls off at night.
Old Faithful is, actually, operated by a valve controlled by the Park rangers.
The "real ice" could've been a reference to the plastic(?) refreezable ice cubes you can buy.
"Who the hell is biggie smalls" is really all I can remember at the moment
I went to a high school in Texas in 10th grade. A very pretty girl was asked by the teacher why her schoolwork was so poorly done. The reply:"Girls with looks don't need books".
Wow. She had a standing date with Karma, I'm sure.
@@josepherhardt164 I heard that same thing from a young lady I consider a niece when she was in junior high. She joined Jr. National Honor Society in 8th grade. Had enough credits to graduate in 11th grade. Just graduated from Texas Tech. I'm so glad she listened to the smart,strong women in her family.
Yikes. XD
"What do you mean you don't know how long it's going to take to fix??"
Well, first we gotta figure out why it's broken, cause it's not supposed to be. Then we gotta figure out how to fix it without breaking everything else. Then we actually have to do the work to fix it...
People cannot grasp the idea that resolving a technology issue is a lot more complex than "It'll take 3 hours to install a new doohickey and then we're good to go!"
16:15 To get to three continents, you have to get rid of either Antarctica (because it’s uninhabited) or Australia (because it’s too small, which is helped by Europe not being a separate continent in this model).
Interestingly, it would arguably make more sense to say there were two continents, since Afro-Eurasia and the Americas are so large that you’d be more justified in placing the new size requirement between the Americas and Antarctica than you would in placing it between Antarctica and Australia.
1:50 rose nylon from the golden girls
On a whitewater rafting trip this blonde chick in the same rafting as I was in said this gem: "So, like, how do we get back to where we started? Does the river just loop back around?"
3:07 to be fair I’ve heard plenty of stories about people being dumb with their own geography so it’s not too out of the question
"Do you have Wal-Mart in Florida?" -my exes mum
That’s actually not a stupid question. A lot of places don’t have Walmart. We didn’t have them in Oregon until recently.
My friend and I were taking another mutual friend home and we started getting a flat and she said just patch it up with duct tape 😆😂
“To get through the cost of living crisis buy a new kettle for £20 and you’ll save £10 a year!”
“Sleeping after taking a shower will make you ho blind”. This is a common myth in the Philippines that most old people still believe, I tried telling them “well I’ve been taking showers at night ever since I can remember, and so does my mother” and they’ll say something stupid like “just you wait, it’ll happen to you someday”
Filipinos believe some stupid shit. The fan thing is super dumb, too.
A family in my town starved their baby to death because they used dry Coffee Mate and water as formula.😢
That's pitiful 😔
Had a woman ask, why people in trailers can't get under them during a tornado 🌪....yeah 😶
The basements are shallow.
I’ve got one that will hurt artists
Spent a week on a picture for an art competition at highschool and felt confident and proud, only for my “art” teacher to respond with: “But wouldn’t it be more attractive if it was coloured?
Never been so angry and tempted to punch someone in my life
A girl in my class who talks all class who some how made it to high school without knowing that the universe doesn’t revolve around earth
"She's stripping to pay her tuition."
My mum was worried our country wouldn't be able to generate power if the economy collapsed. We generate 80% of our power from hydropower and most of the rest from geothermal and wind. She thought we imported these energy sources and couldn't comprehend that yes we would be able to continue power generation if there were no imports to the country ...
4:32 first time going out to eat as a vegan I accidentally ordered potato salad forgetting egg is used for most of it. Not the same as this lady but that was my first mistake.
Honest mistakes are different. We all do that.
My wife makes better-than-restaurant-quality potato salad, and she _never_ puts egg in it. Totally ruins the flavor. OTOH, if you use mayo, mayo has egg in it. There's nothing actually unethical about eating unfertilized eggs from free-range chickens, so many vegetarians and even vegans allow themselves eggs.
“I think my man cheated on me with another woman, my daughter doesn’t look like me.” Followed by “I have evidence. (Picks up phone) Siri, find evidence. No..Siri find e v i d e n c e.”
I wonder how many of these are jokes that went over the OP's head.
Godddd people in the US need to understand there’s no such thing as a fast lane. Not that I follow the speed limit…but the left lane is for passing.
Whiskey in the bottle yeah yeah yeah...I know Hetfeild wrote that one
4:59 Bruh. If he was colorblind fine but... darn
"What are you"?
My friend and I were talking about our favorite Starbucks coffee drinks.
I told her mine was a green tea latte with soymilk.
She asked me:
“What’s in a green tea latte?”
I paused and was confused
Ex bartender here, The people that tip you $20 plus are absolute favorite customers customers. But it's legitimately our job to flirt with you so you continue to come back sometimes we like you as a person and actually remember who you are sometimes we don't like you and could care less who you are either way we're gonna tell you to come back and see me.. Kind of shitty but it's the name of the gameThe people that tip you $20 plus are absolute favorite customers customers. But it's legitimately our job to flirt with you so you continue to come back sometimes we like you as a person and actually remember who you are sometimes we don't like you and could care less who you are either way we're gonna tell you to come back and see me.. Kind of shitty but it's the name of the game
People forget that it is a retail worker's job to make you happy. Laughing along at a horribly rude joke, taking abuse and punishment with a smile, listening to you pour out your life story with 5 people in line behind you... that smile and cheer is not for you. It's automatic and reflexive.
Why did it matter that the dude was black who told the white lady a period was just a drop of blood?
Someone said they thought Brandon was a good leader.
"It looks really cool when the clouds are *behind* the moon..." Lmao🤔 ☁🌙☁ (a girl I will not name)
13:18 Maybe, OP's a ghost. 🤔
“Fatal doesn’t always mean dead” this was said to me by my friend after I mentioned a news story regarding a fatal car accident.
What else could it mean??
@@Charlie22445 🤷🏾♀️ I was so confused 🤣🤣
Probably got that term confused with "Casualty". People will see casualty counts for incidents or war type events. And forget that injuries are counted in that total.
A fatal crash doesn't necessarily mean everyone in the crash is dead but a fatal event has at least one death.
@@andiward7068 at no point was it stated that everyone had to die in order for it to be a fatal crash. Fatal literally means causing death. Stop trying to add unnecessary context.
Actually the mummies thing is true people used to eat mummies as medicine..... History
Ugh. That person doesn't understand the movie Big Fish. It IS based on a true story. The guy told a lot of tall tales. You're not actually supposed to believe he turned into a fish. It's metaphorical.
Someone thought I was pure British even thou I was telling everyone that I was third generation German American on both sides of my family and that I had Irish and/or Scottish from both sides of my family. I was in high school and so where they I might have some British in me but I’m mostly German.
4:34 "Vegan" lady thinks turkey is vegan and orders a club sandwich. Which, if it's like other clubs I've had, also contains bacon ...
12:50 Sister's bf better never watch _Dracula_ or _The Wolf Man_ .
I k own it sounds crazy but old time babies did not come out looking around, we waited until they started opening their eyes. It was a milestone.
Which came first, WWI or WWII?
That's up there with which came first? Old or New Testament?
1:50 that's it I'm out.
That a "Hard game isn't a game" - My Brother
Meanwhile me with a Mental Disability, Butter Fingers for days, And my brother beats me at every game (can't say for anything rn, as me and him haven't played anything together in forever)
I've killed Margrit, Godrick, Moon Lady, plenty of side bosses, and I'm planning on killing Satan next
0:52 Close, mummyes were grinded fertilizer.
Close, but wrong.
*Mummies were also ground into powder and eaten for alleged health benefits.
The president owns everything
"Wanna see my dog? I named it the same name as me! 😄
Isn't that great? Now I'm a twin!"
"Hey! Can you take a look at this mole for me? (proceeds to lift shirt and show FAT stomach) Do you think it's cancer? (Shoves stomach closer) Do you?."
^Mind you I barely knew this person and we weren't close AT ALL.
"men can be women"
Lmao I don't get the slow speaking thing. If the person you're talking to doesn't speak English they're not going to understand you regardless.
This has been posted before
It's not your opinion
Grrrr
RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Repeat video. Why? Are you so lazy and greedy?
"I voted for Trump"