I just ended a 6 month situationship with someone who didn’t want a relationship but I did. He was butthurt and mad when I cut it off but it was for the better. I feel WAY better after I ended it. I met someone new who was emotionally available and ready for a relationship.
My ex kept trying to get back in a monogamous situationship. He didn't want the "emotionally charged" part of a commitment. I said no it's not for me and I'm not willing to participate in something where my needs aren't being met. He did try bargaining and I shut it all down.
@@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life A monogamous situationship is a relationship lol, sigh… these are the same guys that say “I hate women who play games” when they do it themselves
@@thenorthface4 I couldn't agree more. We have all mutual friends and we were close for years beforehand and met each other's kids (his idea). He actually thought that doing every single thing aside from a label was going to help him avoid the hard stuff because he's not in a labeled relationship. I told him that's not how it works. I'm all in or out. Grey areas are not my thing.
That's where I am at right now. I know it's the best thing I could do really for the both of us. I feel that if I was that person for him, he would have no issue with the relationship. And I can't feel how i feel and have a fwb situation. So focusing on each other just causes missed blessings and blocks potential connections. Chapters closed. Nothing but peace, though 🕊🫶 📖⏳️
@@danigurl111 what annoys me is the assumption that they think we want it to go nowhere and have a monogamous situationship indefinitely. I know it's not the same for guys, but women get out out quite frequently and rejecting other men because of "potential" with the other person is ludicrous and definitely something I am no longer willing to entertain...ever.
BEING TERRITORIAL DOES NOT SHOW REAL FEELINGS!…one of the most honest and realest things I’ve heard Stephen say! That territorial thing WITHOUT a relationship is like an EPIDEMIC!
It also shines light on the fact that those of us who do actually want a serious relationship, are not insecure and jealous for no reason. We want a serious relationship and then get called insecure of other guys, when we actually are just being territorial, not insecure or jealous.
I’ve learned I’m too emotional and deep to entertain casual. I know this about myself so I cut to the chase and leave when he’s not on the same page. It is draining and a waste of time to give energy that isn’t aligned with our highest good.
Great points!! Yay, I told a guy who was not ready, I knew he wasn’t, that I would give him space to work on his healing and relationship with God. I knew in my heart seeing him would be too much for me. For now we’re remaining friends and he is very respectful of my boundaries, always has been actually. There are just a lot of guys out here who need to work on their healing and emotional health. Wish they’d do that BEFORE meeting new women!!!
Cool video, My relationship of 6 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
😂 you spoke directly to me with that, "No, the hell you're not" I tried being casual and found out the hard way, that's not God's plan for me. Thank you Lord for the blessing in redirection! 🙌❤
I'm in the last situation with a beautiful, sweet, amazing man. We have a great connection and have developed a love for each other with so much respect. But as he told me 3 months ago he is still healing from a break up and has so many self doubt and fearful thoughts around love. We have taken the back seat and i respect him so much more for hearing me, as i said if it got too hard i needed to step back. He respects my boundaries and I hold him in my heart but from a distance. There are really good genuine guys out there and i'm grateful i got 3 amazing months with one - you never know the future - but for now I'm following my intuition and stepping aside so I can feel happy and he can heal. It hurts though - lets be honest :-)
OMGGGGGG same situation. EXACTLY the same….. and in a 3 months period too…. Thanks for sharing I thought I was alone…. Or that I made it up in my mind because it’s hard to understand and accept that you can meet a Genuine person, have a genuine connection and still this person ain’t ready…….. because you feel like « if they are not ready, than they’re not for me…. » I am dealing with that right now and it’s so fustrating but he told me that he is still healing on his past relationship, had Nothing to do with me, he’s just not there yet…. I decided to stop seeing him, and he respects it….. but God…. Was it right person Wrong Time ? Was it just a one way thing ? But I still feel like we had a connection and I am asking God about it and trust my intuition. Now I work on me (I realized that maybe I was not ready to, in the sense of my purpose and who I am really, before commiting in a beautiful partnership that I still would like with him….) but we don’t know the future… I have to trust God, myself and my intuition…. But it hurts… because jt’s bittersweet
It just happened to me after a couple good dates and somehow i helieve it wasn t an excuse ,but maybe the truth. Of course i respectfully answered that i can understand him( although i can't!!!) but i dont want to see each other anymore nor i can handle a friendship. Is it any chance that he will change his mind when the time is right? ( Dont believe i am asking questions like a school girl😊)@@MeetStephanSpeaks
Get out fast! I thought I could handle it. We were great when we were together. He loved me. But just wasn't ready. I had to walk away from all the back and forth. I was totally drained!
"You thought you could handle it, but you couldn't." 😩 Yep! Truly didn't want a relationship, was fine having fun with a man, and ended up in over my head and wasting years of precious time and energy on something casual. DON'T. DO. IT.
You're so right about getting yourself caught up with a guy who is not for you and it is very hard to pull away because you get attached to him and a woman can feel like it is love, but isn't. And for me, if the guy says he is not ready for a relationship right now....I need to move on and work on me and when he is ready, he can always contact me at that point. I would rather him be upfront and honest that he is not ready, then to drag the relationship on. Thank you for all the great information.
WOW this word is right on time. This year I am commited whole heartedly, dedicated to my healing and GOD. No more disturbance. I have to do what GOD needs me to do. I'm learning to take one day at a time. I'm doing something I've never did before. I'm on a mission.❤
Love this ❤❤❤ Similarly, I am working on this as well. I'm so tired of being let down and letting myself down. The only person that can fix me now is God.
@@jan854, You got this! You are not alone. We are in this together. Quoting PHILIPPIANS 4:13 out loud helps me all day. JEUS is our teacher. It blows my mind how I speak to myself, my mind and get instant results. There's power in our words. Have faith, hope, trusting GOD on your journey and you will make it. Live one day at a time. GOD loves you and so do I. Blessings, hugs, and love sent your way.🙏🏽❤️
I ended a FWB after 1.5 yrs....it was hard as i fell madly in love:( He didn't. And now his BS is "i care about you very much, i still want you in my life as a friend" No. I did no contact. For me.
Oh i wonder what,s the name of thst game ?😮 Not ready for a relationship in words But your actions physically is different ? What the hell do you want ? Ladies this was a total package of awareness in a single video Wise up Be attentive, Lets protect our selves at all costs Stephan God bless you Thanks a million
Know your own worth and value. Never wait for a person that is still working out issues within themselves or priorities his personal life. Look for the constant dangling carrot to keep you waiting. I recently walked away from a great connection but started to see a pattern of avoidance in wanting to meet or move forward. He asked for me to wait while he focused on his book ect…. No thanks, I have a life too! Show your boundaries!
Met a sweet, established, but hurt before and guarded man. He was honest and said he didn't want to ruin me by his demons..he would tell my friends.."sometimes she is like bae" that's when I started hanging out with him less..he liked the "idea" of me being girlfriend material, but his mind was made up..he was doing him and not ready for a girlfriend so he still was doing and acting single..so I pulled back my "girlfriend like ways" he made things clear I had to be true to myself..
He said he’s not ready for marriage (after he said he was for a full year and he “loves” me and didn’t want to lose me), broke up with me (tried to be friends and gave me health and life updates every month), ghosted me when I expressed how much I missed him, and then six months later (after the breakup on a podcast) announced he dating a new girl with the intention of looking for a wife. Saying she is taking care of him so good and he is doing the same for her. After months of being hot and cold with me and telling me he doesn’t want to “play house.” Ugh, I should have just taken the hint and stop being so considerate of him
I want more. If he doesn't want to be with me I am now strong enough to navigate unknown waters on my own, without crying. I thank you for your advice every day
I wished I had seen a video like this when I was in my twenties. Ladies, this is invaluable advice and Stephan breaks it down clearly, pragmatically and compassionately. But then, I wonder if I would have been wise enough to receive such sage advice and if that would have stopped me from entering a 25 year marriage that is no longer. Sometimes I wonder about all those lost years.. if I had been more honest with myself.
Ladies if he's not committing move on, men are comfortable being in situationships forever. If he's not locking it down he's keeping his options open for a better choice
@@honeyyu1474right they always come back which makes no sense at all 💯 had a guy push me away just for him to THINK he can come back. I blocked him and never looked back
I love listening to Stephen. In fact, when men are not well settled professionally, and that doesn't mean money, but if he doesn't have a clear plan, he may be a good guy, but he will hesitate in some way. A woman will be ready when she finds the right guy. A man needs to be ready and only then he will find the right woman. It seems to me that for men, the right woman is the one who is in front of him when he is ready.
A new, guy; “Treated me like, an option so I left him like, a CHOICE” Bye!!! He gave me too many, broken promises and wasn’t even considerate enough to let me know; he wasn’t coming! He is not, capable of committing and he knows, just how to “sweet talk” I know, my worrh is it’s not, playing mind games. Yes, he also said, We need to take things slow! I seen many, red flags early on. God has gifted me with great INTUITION and Spiritual WISDOM! Stephan Thank you, for sharing your God given GIFT; you’re AMAZING! God bless, YOU Stephan! 🙏🏻🤔🤗
Currently going through the “genuinely likes you but is not ready” because he has too much going on between stabilizing his business and spending time with his son (co-parenting). This really helped. Thank you.
Really wish I had watched this 12 months ago. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Probably the most painful experience I've ever had with a man. Lesson now being learned ❤
I met a great guy and we have been talking for 3 months, he just wasnt ready for a relationship. I do believe he liked me and was genuine, but logically he knew he wasnt ready to give me what I needed financially and emotionally because he is still healing from his last relationship and is not where he wants to be financially. I respect that, it just hurts because I wish he told me earlier but I know I will be okay. I ended up agreeing to be friends with him because he is a great guy and has been respectful towards me. So as long as he respects my boundaries then we can remain friends and he can reach me when he is ready. Who knows if its something else that I dont know about too🤷♀all I know is, whatever is meant to be will be.
I would never allow, or tolerate, this behavior from a man that i was involved with. Everybody is not a loss. We must pick & choose our partners wisely. If you allow yourself to be treated any type of way....then that's the way you will be treated. When the connection is right, everything just falls into place. Things become easier, not more difficult. Sure, there's gonna be issues along the way, but if the love is real, you work through it together. If you're always wondering where you stand with your significant other or whatever, then it's not the right person. In my most humble opinion. ❤🙏🏾
Come on Stephen!! Right on Target!! We have to remember our value... I'm expensive (not monetary but the level of accountability is high) Alignment with God is key - King & Queen Behavior Prioritize the purpose over desire...Get your mindset in alignment with your purpose.
Stephan, I bought your book Finding love after heartbreak last night and I’m 15% into the book. I just wanted to tell you that I feel the love you give off through those words of encouragement from the book and I appreciate that. You make it clear that it won’t be easy, but worth it. I’m scared of digging through my pain as I start the exercises you suggest, but I’m not willing to live the same way I did before for years. I bought this book not for the sake of finding love again, but to help me heal and be happy alone. It’s for the purpose of self improvement. Later on if I do find someone, then I’ll be a better person and won’t be the same piece of garbage I was with myself for so long. I thank you for being there for us. Thank you for helping others that like me are going through hell after a heartbreak. God bless you!
Interesting video! I do agree that men needs to be honest at all times about their position when it comes to wanting/being in a relationship so we women can make an informed decision for our lives! 🙏🏾
I say this all the time. There's nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship and just wanting friendship or sex, but be honest. A lot of men won't be honest because they won't be able to enjoy the benefits of a woman if they tell her from the get go. It's very selfish. That's why it's important for women to heal themselves to better see these situations right out of the gate and step aside before they get attached.
These types of advice videos that you give are some of my favorite ones. It helps level my discernment and rationality in the dating process when so many emotions can be involved, which can cloud and compromise my decision-making process.
🔥🔥🔥 Deeep! Well Needed!! Thank you for sharing. Yes a lot to digest 💯 In reality if a woman does her best to get that man thats not ready, will only push him away further! I’ll continue to be mindful, be Patient and wait on God.. 🙏🏽💪🏽💯 who will reveal everything if we just wait and be open to listening!
Just getting out of a relationship . I'd rather start a new friendship with him first to help avoid the same mistakes. I'd rather follow you Stephen and your awesome relationship coaching. Through the Grace of God 🙏! Thanks so much !
Everytime i think of spinningvthe block, god directs me to your videos ! This is literally what is goiing on right now ! He didnt want me to be with nobody but wanted to explore his singleness and me to be patient with him like what!?
On n off for 6/7 years, known him since school, had a son. Started being distant, no more daily talks, no morning no goodnight. Finally left me on new years eve, not a word, I'm utterly crushed.
We tend to compromise on our standards and values because we so deeply want to be loved by the "partner". God wants and has the very best for us, I pray that we all do our part on ourselves and don't lower our standards for a quick "love fix".
Oh my goodness thank you! Thank you! Truly appreciate you making this video. This is on time. Just confirming New Year Eve 2023 finally stated still not ready relationship he said but still act like boyfriend. He say we friends but kept a pretending 5 years we are couple. We finally broke it off last year 2022. He still hit me up had me over his apartment basically made it seem we might as well get married. Only reason I stay in this because I loved him and thought he cared. But at the ended found out and realized I was nobody to him. I really believe give him time everything will come full circle. It finally did come full circle and attachment is broken. I block him and keep my distance. Thank you for your video and confirmation 😊
What if he’s not ready because he knows he’s healing and I know that I know I need healing to in the process we already separated and came back even stronger and there is a connection but what I’m trying to find out if he has a connection too, he has been so good to me and has provided for me and does not push sex but he does love physical touch! I’m just trying to gain clarity from God to do what he wants me to do weather it’s to have patience or just be friends!
This video is exaclty about me and the father of my kid! he is soooo territorial, but I never knew the reality till I wantched your video ! I put my best here, and dont have that energy for someone new. You are JUST telling my story!!!!!!! THANK YOU so much for the truth and God bless you ! I keep on listenning to your wise videos that teach me how to live my life in the very best way !
I was involved once. It was nearly impossible to get myself detached from him. He was good at pretending that he was interested, but always did the push and pull and never committed. I even went to C a couple who works in breaking soul ties and we worked through my situation in January and would you believe after not hearing from him for 10 years he reached out a few months laterlater. Still doesn’t want to commit to this day. Just don’t get involved Ladies you definitely tie up your life, and I tied up my emotions for over 10 years even after I got away bc I fell in love w the little attention he gave me. So glad that I am further along in my journey now and understand it’s not that somethings wrong with me or how could I show up better for him? It’s just he has emotional intimacy issues.
Stephan is the real deal. I thought he was a B$ RUclips/ social medics love coach like most of the others and not real deep. But boy was I wrong. This man actually KNOWS but he’s talking about and more important KNOWS WOMEN and the things we go through and challenges we face in romantic relationships!!! 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Wait, wait, wait. I thought you said that we're holding ourselves back with the wrong person, by blocking who might be better for us in the future, yet, now you're saying it's ok to wait for a guy that's "the RIGHT guy, at the WRONG time?" 🤷🤔🙄👎 HELL NAW! 👎 If a guy tells me that he's not "ready", thats fine, but I'm NOT waiting for him to get ready and no more talk needs to be had; that would be the end of the discussion. l WOULD NEVER allow him to circle back to me, when HE sees fit, as if I'm some stand-by, placeholder or "last resort". HELL NAW! 👎 If "he's not ready", it wasn't meant to be. PERIOD! HELL NAW! 👎
Literally felt the last point about him genuinely not being ready. Currently going through this situation where he communicated and told me he isn’t ready because for 1 his financial stability and a lot of other personal issues. He just moved too so he’s basically starting to get back on his feet again. I respected the fact that he told me and cared about my feelings and like you said alottt of guys don’t do that. He even said this is the first that he’s done it because he doesn’t want to hurt me and he sees how good of a person I am but it just sucks because he wants to remain friends right now but it’s hard to even do that 😩
Well thank you for your insight and I appreciate it and I will do better... Seems like im always targeted... Guys approch me and be so broken lost and confused and I feel like i can heal them but end up broken hearted and and depleted.... Bless you
my friend told me today he is complicated when I asked him. Why don’t you want to relationship we do everything as a couple, but we are friends but yet he tells me he’s complicated and sit in his ways he’s only 51. 🤦🏾♀️but i really like and care for him and I also think he’s narcissistic just a little
if you already feel narcissism coming from him this early on, get out. he's probably a covert and he'll blow up soon enough. make yourself comfortable alone and do not waste your resources on him. leave him alone and DO NOT RECIPROCATE if he starts love bombing you. only start reciprocating if he clearly establishes that he wants to be in a committed relationship with you.
Great job Stephan! I have seriously appreciated and enjoyed your Holy Spirit-led relationship advice. I have grown so much as a woman since following you. Thank you to the moon and back 🌙 I am getting stronger since watching and applying your advice. I am Woman, I am Strong 💪
Stephan, im telling this man rn i dont want him. We had a cool lil set up for years however ive come into this energy where he doesnt do it for me anymore. However he wont leave me alone. He not stalking or anything he just wont adhere to my boundries. Like you said women can be casual with men of lower quality FACTSSSS
Yep he really wasn’t ready. He was dead broke and had to go to his parents every evening for dinner. He’s a very proud guy and he couldn’t afford to take me out on dates. I didn’t understand it at first bcoz he really didn’t go into details at the beginning of what he was going through
No; No; No, I never let a man make his decision for me. If he's not ready to commit or be serious, we know! It's a waste of my time and energy if he just wants to play games. He does not deserve to be in my presence if he can't raise it to meet my level of expectation and standards. I don't have time for it. This is why I stick with an evolved man. I just need the right one😊🎉 Men know what they want, and they know how to go after it at all costs, if it is stability he is seeking.❤ Great advice S!!!
If he dont want the obligation to commit, he sure in hell must not want you that much. If he doesn't commit then he dont give a flying f if another man takes you.
Came with the fire this video stephan. . Your spirit was getting hit with bare little caveats and gems . Great info and side notes. As usual you always make me giggle .
I guess your right when you say he’s genuinely like but not ready for I’m in a 5yrs relationship and I asked my man to tell me honestly if he wants to marry me and he answered he will ‘figure it out’ and that was a confusing answer to me but I guess he just doesn’t want to marry me,is it time for me to let go so I will not waste his time on me’
No you're not. I met a man and I enjoyed our relationship. Being a wife was never on my list of things to accomplish. We got along great. We both said we weren't trying to get married again. He heard me say, "I'll never live with someone I'm not married to." Three months later, he asked me to move in with him. WHY @StephanSpeaks?? I hear you. We were not a good fit, and I'm cool with that. I honestly felt it was a test, and he knew I was prepared to do like Teddy P: Turn off the lights, close the door, and let it go! No regrets!
Ladies listen to this man i am truly grateful not to be in this kind of situation because of all the guidance i am getting with my experience man is simple because if they cannot commit it's because they cannot so ladies you have to be stronger than your own emotions and feelings..
My boyfriend said we should break up and become friends with benefits and maintain the feelings we have for each other because he was relocating... I still don't know what to do 🤦♀️
I shouldve waited, i was too young, i couldnt give you what you deserve because i was too broken, and i hope to one day find myself. I respected his words and although he didnt want it I divorced him.& im at #PEACEwithit
5 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ BUT ... How does one let go and get out safely having been deeply emotionally invested... And he still wants to control/ hold the 'friendship' 🤔
Been there done that said that I’m ok. Yep and I lied coz I was already in love with him and didn’t understand what was going on till I was already hooked. But he knew what he was doing. I was so inexperienced and he was my first. He kept saying he didn’t want to hurt me bcoz he knew I was really into him but still he didn’t want to walk away
He came on strong. Haven’t seen each other in over 25 yrs. Then said he was fallen in love. Past Saturday morning he said we should be friends. We moved to fast. And yes we did. I haven’t seen nor heard from him in a week. I think he went back to his ex or was she an ex at all. He’s even left clothes and medicine at my place. Why??? I’m so confused
How much time should you give that guy that needs more time to figure out if he wants to be part of a family? I am a single mom and this is even more complicated.
You don't. Live your life. If he comes around before you commit to someone who IS ready to be part of your family and you still want him, good for you both. If he doesn't, you lose nothing. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him if he's not sure.
Stephan.. what if the man does all these AFTER he gets the relationship AND the marriage..? 😒 Like what you said about being casual.. After i hurt him deeply as he says.. we got married and he got all the benefits. He was saying that he forgive me but he will not forget.. Nowadays, after the marriage, he was trying to hurt my feelings and he is playing it casual. Like ok, we are married, but that doesn't mean that we will be together every night or that I will not go on vacations without you.. also he admitted that he never forgive me 😭 even though he was saying so. Many times i tried to come closer to him, but when i do he does something to push me away and not connect like we used to be. I don't know what to do.. He is my husband already, but I didn't agree with this situation when I was marrying him.
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I just ended a 6 month situationship with someone who didn’t want a relationship but I did. He was butthurt and mad when I cut it off but it was for the better. I feel WAY better after I ended it. I met someone new who was emotionally available and ready for a relationship.
My ex kept trying to get back in a monogamous situationship. He didn't want the "emotionally charged" part of a commitment. I said no it's not for me and I'm not willing to participate in something where my needs aren't being met. He did try bargaining and I shut it all down.
@@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life A monogamous situationship is a relationship lol, sigh… these are the same guys that say “I hate women who play games” when they do it themselves
@@thenorthface4 I couldn't agree more. We have all mutual friends and we were close for years beforehand and met each other's kids (his idea). He actually thought that doing every single thing aside from a label was going to help him avoid the hard stuff because he's not in a labeled relationship. I told him that's not how it works. I'm all in or out. Grey areas are not my thing.
That's where I am at right now. I know it's the best thing I could do really for the both of us. I feel that if I was that person for him, he would have no issue with the relationship. And I can't feel how i feel and have a fwb situation. So focusing on each other just causes missed blessings and blocks potential connections. Chapters closed. Nothing but peace, though 🕊🫶 📖⏳️
@@danigurl111 what annoys me is the assumption that they think we want it to go nowhere and have a monogamous situationship indefinitely. I know it's not the same for guys, but women get out out quite frequently and rejecting other men because of "potential" with the other person is ludicrous and definitely something I am no longer willing to entertain...ever.
BEING TERRITORIAL DOES NOT SHOW REAL FEELINGS!…one of the most honest and realest things I’ve heard Stephen say! That territorial thing WITHOUT a relationship is like an EPIDEMIC!
Yes!! 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
It also shines light on the fact that those of us who do actually want a serious relationship, are not insecure and jealous for no reason.
We want a serious relationship and then get called insecure of other guys, when we actually are just being territorial, not insecure or jealous.
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It is an epidemic! Well said & you can’t own a person. It’s unhealthy attachments.
More often than not, when someone tells you they're not ready for a relationship, they're actually just not into having a relationship with you.
I would love for them to say it before sex lol. Imagine that. They know they'd likely never get any if they did.
FACTS!!!! 💯👈
99.9% of the time.
@SunshineAndSnowflakes that's ypur fault for not extracting that info before sleeping with them.
@@jcymngo Who said anything about sleeping with them…?
I’ve learned I’m too emotional and deep to entertain casual. I know this about myself so I cut to the chase and leave when he’s not on the same page. It is draining and a waste of time to give energy that isn’t aligned with our highest good.
Great points!! Yay, I told a guy who was not ready, I knew he wasn’t, that I would give him space to work on his healing and relationship with God. I knew in my heart seeing him would be too much for me. For now we’re remaining friends and he is very respectful of my boundaries, always has been actually. There are just a lot of guys out here who need to work on their healing and emotional health. Wish they’d do that BEFORE meeting new women!!!
I feel like I'm experiencing this right now and it's so frustrating. Think I'm going to dial back.
I'm experiencing this right now! 😕
Same! Like we can only hang out two days a week.
Cool video, My relationship of 6 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him
He is Fatherabulu has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
😂 you spoke directly to me with that, "No, the hell you're not" I tried being casual and found out the hard way, that's not God's plan for me. Thank you Lord for the blessing in redirection! 🙌❤
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
I'm in the last situation with a beautiful, sweet, amazing man. We have a great connection and have developed a love for each other with so much respect. But as he told me 3 months ago he is still healing from a break up and has so many self doubt and fearful thoughts around love. We have taken the back seat and i respect him so much more for hearing me, as i said if it got too hard i needed to step back. He respects my boundaries and I hold him in my heart but from a distance. There are really good genuine guys out there and i'm grateful i got 3 amazing months with one - you never know the future - but for now I'm following my intuition and stepping aside so I can feel happy and he can heal. It hurts though - lets be honest :-)
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
OMGGGGGG same situation. EXACTLY the same….. and in a 3 months period too…. Thanks for sharing I thought I was alone…. Or that I made it up in my mind because it’s hard to understand and accept that you can meet a Genuine person, have a genuine connection and still this person ain’t ready…….. because you feel like « if they are not ready, than they’re not for me…. » I am dealing with that right now and it’s so fustrating but he told me that he is still healing on his past relationship, had Nothing to do with me, he’s just not there yet…. I decided to stop seeing him, and he respects it….. but God…. Was it right person Wrong Time ? Was it just a one way thing ? But I still feel like we had a connection and I am asking God about it and trust my intuition. Now I work on me (I realized that maybe I was not ready to, in the sense of my purpose and who I am really, before commiting in a beautiful partnership that I still would like with him….) but we don’t know the future… I have to trust God, myself and my intuition…. But it hurts… because jt’s bittersweet
I am going through the same thing right now. Even though I know that it just is what it is, it still is sad to let it go.
It just happened to me after a couple good dates and somehow i helieve it wasn t an excuse ,but maybe the truth. Of course i respectfully answered that i can understand him( although i can't!!!) but i dont want to see each other anymore nor i can handle a friendship. Is it any chance that he will change his mind when the time is right? ( Dont believe i am asking questions like a school girl😊)@@MeetStephanSpeaks
Get out fast! I thought I could handle it. We were great when we were together. He loved me. But just wasn't ready. I had to walk away from all the back and forth. I was totally drained!
Yes, agree, that back-and-forth push pole is a real killer
HE asked me to be “his girl” made it clear he wanted serious BUT DID NOT ACT LIKE IT😢
"You thought you could handle it, but you couldn't." 😩 Yep! Truly didn't want a relationship, was fine having fun with a man, and ended up in over my head and wasting years of precious time and energy on something casual. DON'T. DO. IT.
You're so right about getting yourself caught up with a guy who is not for you and it is very hard to pull away because you get attached to him and a woman can feel like it is love, but isn't. And for me, if the guy says he is not ready for a relationship right now....I need to move on and work on me and when he is ready, he can always contact me at that point. I would rather him be upfront and honest that he is not ready, then to drag the relationship on. Thank you for all the great information.
My pleasure ❤️
WOW this word is right on time. This year I am commited whole heartedly, dedicated to my healing and GOD. No more disturbance. I have to do what GOD needs me to do. I'm learning to take one day at a time. I'm doing something I've never did before. I'm on a mission.❤
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Love this ❤❤❤ Similarly, I am working on this as well. I'm so tired of being let down and letting myself down. The only person that can fix me now is God.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks, You're welcome! GOD loves you and so do I. Blessings, hugs, and love sent your way handsome.❤️🙏🏽
@@jan854, You got this! You are not alone. We are in this together. Quoting PHILIPPIANS 4:13 out loud helps me all day. JEUS is our teacher. It blows my mind how I speak to myself, my mind and get instant results. There's power in our words. Have faith, hope, trusting GOD on your journey and you will make it. Live one day at a time. GOD loves you and so do I. Blessings, hugs, and love sent your way.🙏🏽❤️
@@RhondaR4 🫂❤️🙏 Thank you!
I ended a FWB after 1.5 yrs....it was hard as i fell madly in love:(
He didn't.
And now his BS is "i care about you very much, i still want you in my life as a friend"
No. I did no contact. For me.
Oh i wonder what,s the name of thst game ?😮
Not ready for a relationship in words
But your actions physically is different ?
What the hell do you want ?
Ladies this was a total package of awareness in a single video
Wise up
Be attentive,
Lets protect our selves at all costs
Stephan God bless you
Thanks a million
Know your own worth and value. Never wait for a person that is still working out issues within themselves or priorities his personal life. Look for the constant dangling carrot to keep you waiting. I recently walked away from a great connection but started to see a pattern of avoidance in wanting to meet or move forward. He asked for me to wait while he focused on his book ect…. No thanks, I have a life too! Show your boundaries!
Met a sweet, established, but hurt before and guarded man. He was honest and said he didn't want to ruin me by his demons..he would tell my friends.."sometimes she is like bae" that's when I started hanging out with him less..he liked the "idea" of me being girlfriend material, but his mind was made up..he was doing him and not ready for a girlfriend so he still was doing and acting single..so I pulled back my "girlfriend like ways" he made things clear I had to be true to myself..
He said he’s not ready for marriage (after he said he was for a full year and he “loves” me and didn’t want to lose me), broke up with me (tried to be friends and gave me health and life updates every month), ghosted me when I expressed how much I missed him, and then six months later (after the breakup on a podcast) announced he dating a new girl with the intention of looking for a wife. Saying she is taking care of him so good and he is doing the same for her. After months of being hot and cold with me and telling me he doesn’t want to “play house.” Ugh, I should have just taken the hint and stop being so considerate of him
I want more. If he doesn't want to be with me I am now strong enough to navigate unknown waters on my own, without crying. I thank you for your advice every day
I wished I had seen a video like this when I was in my twenties. Ladies, this is invaluable advice and Stephan breaks it down clearly, pragmatically and compassionately. But then, I wonder if I would have been wise enough to receive such sage advice and if that would have stopped me from entering a 25 year marriage that is no longer. Sometimes I wonder about all those lost years.. if I had been more honest with myself.
Ladies if he's not committing move on, men are comfortable being in situationships forever. If he's not locking it down he's keeping his options open for a better choice
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
Then returned cause no one love him the same way lol😂
@@honeyyu1474right they always come back which makes no sense at all 💯 had a guy push me away just for him to THINK he can come back. I blocked him and never looked back
@@honeyyu1474LITERALLY
I love listening to Stephen. In fact, when men are not well settled professionally, and that doesn't mean money, but if he doesn't have a clear plan, he may be a good guy, but he will hesitate in some way. A woman will be ready when she finds the right guy. A man needs to be ready and only then he will find the right woman. It seems to me that for men, the right woman is the one who is in front of him when he is ready.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Yup, ⬆️ This right here .
right, specially the last sentence, that happened to a friend
I am always in the wrong place wrong time 😂
So true, settling for less and then lose the opportunity to find real true, meaningful relationship!
A new, guy; “Treated me like, an option so I left him like, a CHOICE” Bye!!!
He gave me too many, broken promises and wasn’t even considerate enough to let me know; he wasn’t coming!
He is not, capable of committing and he knows, just how to “sweet talk”
I know, my worrh is it’s not, playing mind games.
Yes, he also said, We need to take things slow!
I seen many, red flags early on.
God has gifted me with great INTUITION and Spiritual WISDOM!
Stephan Thank you, for sharing your God given GIFT; you’re AMAZING!
God bless, YOU Stephan!
🙏🏻🤔🤗
Say what you mean and mean what you say. When someone doesn't make themselves clear it's time to walk away.
Currently going through the “genuinely likes you but is not ready” because he has too much going on between stabilizing his business and spending time with his son (co-parenting). This really helped. Thank you.
Really wish I had watched this 12 months ago. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Probably the most painful experience I've ever had with a man. Lesson now being learned ❤
I met a great guy and we have been talking for 3 months, he just wasnt ready for a relationship. I do believe he liked me and was genuine, but logically he knew he wasnt ready to give me what I needed financially and emotionally because he is still healing from his last relationship and is not where he wants to be financially. I respect that, it just hurts because I wish he told me earlier but I know I will be okay. I ended up agreeing to be friends with him because he is a great guy and has been respectful towards me. So as long as he respects my boundaries then we can remain friends and he can reach me when he is ready. Who knows if its something else that I dont know about too🤷♀all I know is, whatever is meant to be will be.
I hope you are dating other men!
@@asill.6668 i defenitley am dont worry! lol
I would never allow, or tolerate, this behavior from a man that i was involved with. Everybody is not a loss. We must pick & choose our partners wisely. If you allow yourself to be treated any type of way....then that's the way you will be treated. When the connection is right, everything just falls into place. Things become easier, not more difficult. Sure, there's gonna be issues along the way, but if the love is real, you work through it together. If you're always wondering where you stand with your significant other or whatever, then it's not the right person. In my most humble opinion. ❤🙏🏾
Come on Stephen!! Right on Target!! We have to remember our value... I'm expensive (not monetary but the level of accountability is high) Alignment with God is key - King & Queen Behavior Prioritize the purpose over desire...Get your mindset in alignment with your purpose.
Stephan, I bought your book Finding love after heartbreak last night and I’m 15% into the book. I just wanted to tell you that I feel the love you give off through those words of encouragement from the book and I appreciate that. You make it clear that it won’t be easy, but worth it. I’m scared of digging through my pain as I start the exercises you suggest, but I’m not willing to live the same way I did before for years. I bought this book not for the sake of finding love again, but to help me heal and be happy alone. It’s for the purpose of self improvement. Later on if I do find someone, then I’ll be a better person and won’t be the same piece of garbage I was with myself for so long. I thank you for being there for us. Thank you for helping others that like me are going through hell after a heartbreak. God bless you!
Interesting video! I do agree that men needs to be honest at all times about their position when it comes to wanting/being in a relationship so we women can make an informed decision for our lives! 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
I say this all the time. There's nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship and just wanting friendship or sex, but be honest. A lot of men won't be honest because they won't be able to enjoy the benefits of a woman if they tell her from the get go. It's very selfish. That's why it's important for women to heal themselves to better see these situations right out of the gate and step aside before they get attached.
@@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life I couldn't agree more! That's why I'll be single until my honest God-fearing man shows up.🙏
These types of advice videos that you give are some of my favorite ones. It helps level my discernment and rationality in the dating process when so many emotions can be involved, which can cloud and compromise my decision-making process.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Jeeez, this is right for me right now. Thank you 🙏🏼
Was just thinking about that and the title popped up. I’ll take it as a sign
Glad I could help 🙏
🔥🔥🔥
Deeep!
Well Needed!! Thank you for sharing.
Yes a lot to digest 💯
In reality if a woman does her best to get that man thats not ready, will only push him away further!
I’ll continue to be mindful, be Patient and wait on God.. 🙏🏽💪🏽💯 who will reveal everything if we just wait and be open to listening!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
The fact before you meet those people who said they are not ready for relationship: they told you they are single, which means they wanted someone
I think this came on right time 2024 enough is enough
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
My ex said thatvto me and basicly it was I am not what he would want in a wife. I moved on!!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Just getting out of a relationship . I'd rather start a new friendship with him first to help avoid the same mistakes. I'd rather follow you Stephen and your awesome relationship coaching. Through the Grace of God 🙏! Thanks so much !
You are truly awesome.... your words are sent from heaven ...Just at the right time!
I appreciate that!
Everytime i think of spinningvthe block, god directs me to your videos ! This is literally what is goiing on right now ! He didnt want me to be with nobody but wanted to explore his singleness and me to be patient with him like what!?
What if you exit but thé person keeps coming back
On n off for 6/7 years, known him since school, had a son. Started being distant, no more daily talks, no morning no goodnight. Finally left me on new years eve, not a word, I'm utterly crushed.
Ugh I’m so sorry.
Men will be men and
Boys will be boys
Let's listen to Stephan and
Learn the difference
Very contrasting
Thanks Steph
My pleasure ❤️
This was so good!
We tend to compromise on our standards and values because we so deeply want to be loved by the "partner". God wants and has the very best for us, I pray that we all do our part on ourselves and don't lower our standards for a quick "love fix".
Stephan I can’t help but feel that this video was for me after the last comment I made on your channel. I appreciate you so much.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Oh my goodness thank you! Thank you! Truly appreciate you making this video. This is on time. Just confirming New Year Eve 2023 finally stated still not ready relationship he said but still act like boyfriend. He say we friends but kept a pretending 5 years we are couple. We finally broke it off last year 2022. He still hit me up had me over his apartment basically made it seem we might as well get married. Only reason I stay in this because I loved him and thought he cared. But at the ended found out and realized I was nobody to him. I really believe give him time everything will come full circle. It finally did come full circle and attachment is broken. I block him and keep my distance. Thank you for your video and confirmation 😊
*It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.*
What if he’s not ready because he knows he’s healing and I know that I know I need healing to in the process we already separated and came back even stronger and there is a connection but what I’m trying to find out if he has a connection too, he has been so good to me and has provided for me and does not push sex but he does love physical touch! I’m just trying to gain clarity from God to do what he wants me to do weather it’s to have patience or just be friends!
Be patient
This video is exaclty about me and the father of my kid! he is soooo territorial, but I never knew the reality till I wantched your video ! I put my best here, and dont have that energy for someone new. You are JUST telling my story!!!!!!! THANK YOU so much for the truth and God bless you ! I keep on listenning to your wise videos that teach me how to live my life in the very best way !
I was involved once. It was nearly impossible to get myself detached from him. He was good at pretending that he was interested, but always did the push and pull and never committed. I even went to C a couple who works in breaking soul ties and we worked through my situation in January and would you believe after not hearing from him for 10 years he reached out a few months laterlater. Still doesn’t want to commit to this day. Just don’t get involved Ladies you definitely tie up your life, and I tied up my emotions for over 10 years even after I got away bc I fell in love w the little attention he gave me. So glad that I am further along in my journey now and understand it’s not that somethings wrong with me or how could I show up better for him? It’s just he has emotional intimacy issues.
Stephan is the real deal. I thought he was a B$ RUclips/ social medics love coach like most of the others and not real deep. But boy was I wrong. This man actually KNOWS but he’s talking about and more important KNOWS WOMEN and the things we go through and challenges we face in romantic relationships!!! 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Wait, wait, wait.
I thought you said that we're holding ourselves back with the wrong person, by blocking who might be better for us in the future, yet, now you're saying it's ok to wait for a guy that's "the RIGHT guy, at the WRONG time?" 🤷🤔🙄👎
HELL NAW! 👎
If a guy tells me that he's not "ready", thats fine, but I'm NOT waiting for him to get ready and no more talk needs to be had; that would be the end of the discussion.
l WOULD NEVER allow him to circle back to me, when HE sees fit, as if I'm some stand-by, placeholder or "last resort". HELL NAW! 👎
If "he's not ready", it wasn't meant to be. PERIOD!
HELL NAW! 👎
Literally felt the last point about him genuinely not being ready. Currently going through this situation where he communicated and told me he isn’t ready because for 1 his financial stability and a lot of other personal issues. He just moved too so he’s basically starting to get back on his feet again. I respected the fact that he told me and cared about my feelings and like you said alottt of guys don’t do that. He even said this is the first that he’s done it because he doesn’t want to hurt me and he sees how good of a person I am but it just sucks because he wants to remain friends right now but it’s hard to even do that 😩
Yea just distance yourself and move on.. it’s hard to be friends..
It’s so easy to decide that casual is enough when you think you have the right one.
I’m staying firm but I truly miss him so much!!
Well thank you for your insight and I appreciate it and I will do better... Seems like im always targeted... Guys approch me and be so broken lost and confused and I feel like i can heal them but end up broken hearted and and depleted.... Bless you
my friend told me today he is complicated when I asked him. Why don’t you want to relationship we do everything as a couple, but we are friends but yet he tells me he’s complicated and sit in his ways he’s only 51. 🤦🏾♀️but i really like and care for him and I also think he’s narcissistic just a little
if you already feel narcissism coming from him this early on, get out. he's probably a covert and he'll blow up soon enough. make yourself comfortable alone and do not waste your resources on him. leave him alone and DO NOT RECIPROCATE if he starts love bombing you. only start reciprocating if he clearly establishes that he wants to be in a committed relationship with you.
Maybe he's not a narcissist, maybe he's "just" emotionally unavailable or has a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
If he’s just a friend then treat him like one and date other nice fellas
Great job Stephan! I have seriously appreciated and enjoyed your Holy Spirit-led relationship advice. I have grown so much as a woman since following you. Thank you to the moon and back 🌙 I am getting stronger since watching and applying your advice. I am Woman, I am Strong 💪
Can't understand a person having feelings or want to stake claim on something & say their not ready for a relationship. I'm confused 🤨
We’re riding with Stephan all year long.
❤️ 🙌
Stephan, im telling this man rn i dont want him. We had a cool lil set up for years however ive come into this energy where he doesnt do it for me anymore. However he wont leave me alone. He not stalking or anything he just wont adhere to my boundries. Like you said women can be casual with men of lower quality FACTSSSS
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
Yep he really wasn’t ready. He was dead broke and had to go to his parents every evening for dinner. He’s a very proud guy and he couldn’t afford to take me out on dates. I didn’t understand it at first bcoz he really didn’t go into details at the beginning of what he was going through
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Thank you for always "trying" to work in some humor. It's instructive to know that this is an improvement from the past.
Excellent!! Thank you for making it soooo clear!!! really helpful in understanding what this really means!!..
No; No; No, I never let a man make his decision for me. If he's not ready to commit or be serious, we know!
It's a waste of my time and energy if he just wants to play games. He does not deserve to be in my presence if he can't raise it to meet my level of expectation and standards. I don't have time for it.
This is why I stick with an evolved man. I just need the right one😊🎉 Men know what they want, and they know how to go after it at all costs, if it is stability he is seeking.❤
Great advice S!!!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I am digging your Channel and insight. Stay Blessed ✌
If he dont want the obligation to commit, he sure in hell must not want you that much. If he doesn't commit then he dont give a flying f if another man takes you.
And he will encourage you to date other men!!!
This is Such good advice don't let any man suck the life out of you plus it ages you 10 years or more
Can we change his mind to want relationship by being challenge to him??
Stephan, this video spoke to my soul - thank you for this!
My pleasure ❤️
Came with the fire this video stephan. . Your spirit was getting hit with bare little caveats and gems . Great info and side notes. As usual you always make me giggle .
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback!
I am grateful and thankful! I have been confused about the same situation with D - you have given me clarity and guidance! 🤟🏻
I guess your right when you say he’s genuinely like but not ready for I’m in a 5yrs relationship and I asked my man to tell me honestly if he wants to marry me and he answered he will ‘figure it out’ and that was a confusing answer to me but I guess he just doesn’t want to marry me,is it time for me to let go so I will not waste his time on me’
No you're not. I met a man and I enjoyed our relationship. Being a wife was never on my list of things to accomplish. We got along great. We both said we weren't trying to get married again. He heard me say, "I'll never live with someone I'm not married to." Three months later, he asked me to move in with him. WHY @StephanSpeaks?? I hear you. We were not a good fit, and I'm cool with that. I honestly felt it was a test, and he knew I was prepared to do like Teddy P: Turn off the lights, close the door, and let it go! No regrets!
Thank you. .youre such amazing. .Thats why we need to vet carefully.God Bless You.
These guys want the rhythm 🎵 but not the blues
😀😂🤣
My guy said that he is uncomfortable with relationships, because he is still healing and working through his divorce
100% true, it happened to me
Thanks, Stephan, So on point, in all areas...🥰💫💯
Ladies listen to this man i am truly grateful not to be in this kind of situation because of all the guidance i am getting with my experience man is simple because if they cannot commit it's because they cannot so ladies you have to be stronger than your own emotions and feelings..
The first 8 seconds of this video 🔥 💯
❤ 🙌
My boyfriend said we should break up and become friends with benefits and maintain the feelings we have for each other because he was relocating... I still don't know what to do 🤦♀️
Absolutely not leave
Absolutely on spot. Love this. Learned the hard way. LoL N
Woo .. needed to hear this 😂
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
This what I was looking for… the whole time thanks 😅
He played my "boy" friend ~
I shouldve waited, i was too young, i couldnt give you what you deserve because i was too broken, and i hope to one day find myself. I respected his words and although he didnt want it I divorced him.& im at
#PEACEwithit
5 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
BUT ... How does one let go and get out safely having been deeply emotionally invested... And he still wants to control/ hold the 'friendship' 🤔
Been there done that said that I’m ok. Yep and I lied coz I was already in love with him and didn’t understand what was going on till I was already hooked. But he knew what he was doing. I was so inexperienced and he was my first. He kept saying he didn’t want to hurt me bcoz he knew I was really into him but still he didn’t want to walk away
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
He came on strong. Haven’t seen each other in over 25 yrs. Then said he was fallen in love. Past Saturday morning he said we should be friends. We moved to fast. And yes we did. I haven’t seen nor heard from him in a week. I think he went back to his ex or was she an ex at all. He’s even left clothes and medicine at my place. Why??? I’m so confused
I'm going to be single for a long time
Sound advice! Thanks.
A "territorial" man who does not want to get married to you is a narcissist. Just RUN!!!
Very well said Stephan 👍
How much time should you give that guy that needs more time to figure out if he wants to be part of a family? I am a single mom and this is even more complicated.
You don't. Live your life. If he comes around before you commit to someone who IS ready to be part of your family and you still want him, good for you both. If he doesn't, you lose nothing. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him if he's not sure.
Stephan.. what if the man does all these AFTER he gets the relationship AND the marriage..? 😒 Like what you said about being casual.. After i hurt him deeply as he says.. we got married and he got all the benefits. He was saying that he forgive me but he will not forget.. Nowadays, after the marriage, he was trying to hurt my feelings and he is playing it casual. Like ok, we are married, but that doesn't mean that we will be together every night or that I will not go on vacations without you.. also he admitted that he never forgive me 😭 even though he was saying so. Many times i tried to come closer to him, but when i do he does something to push me away and not connect like we used to be. I don't know what to do.. He is my husband already, but I didn't agree with this situation when I was marrying him.
9:57 POINTS WHERE MADE!!
Bless your efforts☺️
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!