DO THIS When He’s NOT READY For A Relationship....

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  • Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024

Комментарии • 1,5 тыс.

  • @MeetStephanSpeaks
    @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +375

    Your time is precious, let no man waste it! 💯 Get your copy of the bestselling book "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 this book has been helping women everywhere!

    • @BAM4_
      @BAM4_ 2 года назад +13

      I have all of your books. They are off the chain.

    • @reneepeaceofmindbodysoulhe5911
      @reneepeaceofmindbodysoulhe5911 2 года назад +7

      Thank you so much for that an funny because my grandmother actually got me this book last year in the midst of everything to show me and the Man God has for you I’m going to finally have time to read being alone now and highway to healing for once and respecting and loving me and my body not just giving it to anyone anymore but your amazing thank you so much for all the clarity and love advice on dating and relationships always on point

    • @sueann9065
      @sueann9065 2 года назад +5

      I don't know how I became unsubscribed, because I never hit unsubscribe. I re-subscribed

    • @babieyatah
      @babieyatah 2 года назад +3

      Help! He just told me his still not sure. I was confused

    • @ms.heyhey7775
      @ms.heyhey7775 2 года назад

      @StephanSpeaks I been in a Relationship for 7 years and when I was 22 he asks me can he have a 3 some and I told him no not now maybe when I turn 30 but I'm turning 30 soon and he told me he wants another woman in the relationship in I told him yes but my heart said No I can't do it.. it's hurts me so much cause I'm thinking I'm enough but I'm not enough for him.. I really need some Advice from you a Alpha Black Male I'm crying for help???

  • @beefaye6861
    @beefaye6861 2 года назад +1699

    NEVER MAKE A MAN A PRIORITY WHILE HE IS MAKING YOU AN OPTION... ✌

  • @KM-eo8uw
    @KM-eo8uw 2 года назад +1791

    Ladies be grateful when a man tells you he’s not ready and respect his decision cause they are so many men who will tell you they are ready but their actions says totally different!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +64

      Most definitely!

    • @KM-eo8uw
      @KM-eo8uw 2 года назад +8

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks I so love getting ❤️s from you ☺️ #mymentor

    • @October3074
      @October3074 2 года назад +27

      Yup. They be ready 4 u and the other 3, 4 women they're rotating.

    • @bmswymbyelw
      @bmswymbyelw 2 года назад +20

      This comment! I rather a man tell me this from the start than pretend, because only God knows I would be willing to leave!

    • @Noname19980
      @Noname19980 2 года назад +43

      The thing is men wait to say they don’t want a relationship after months of “dating” I had this happened to me he lied in the beginning I was upfront and said I wanted to be in a relationship and asked him and he said “ yeah let’s see where it goes” then 4 months later he says he doesn’t want one and lied and tried to say he never said he wanted a relationship ( even tho I had messages of him saying it and calling me baby) he said “ all I said was you was a good vibe” after that I cut him off he tried coming back but I didn’t let that happen

  • @thisismystone9658
    @thisismystone9658 2 года назад +739

    "Just because someone desires you doesn't mean they value you" haa

  • @natashahibbit326
    @natashahibbit326 2 года назад +799

    I dumped my ex yesterday, he told me he was confused after 4 months of dating and wasn't sure if he is ready for a relationship , so my reply was "let me help you with your confusion, bye"

    • @Nikkiscorner78
      @Nikkiscorner78 2 года назад +66

      😂😂😂😂😂😂 you kill me with your comment

    • @natashahibbit326
      @natashahibbit326 2 года назад +9

      @@Nikkiscorner78 ha ha x

    • @atlantasfaithsmom
      @atlantasfaithsmom 2 года назад +5

      Has it stuck?

    • @natashahibbit326
      @natashahibbit326 2 года назад +34

      @@atlantasfaithsmom yes, he contacted me last month, I ignored it

    • @October3074
      @October3074 2 года назад +21

      @@natashahibbit326 block him

  • @Tembo-Salam
    @Tembo-Salam 2 года назад +326

    You teach the truth, Always.
    "NEVER BE AFRAID TO LET GO A MAN WHOSE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOU."

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +9

      Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that ❤

    • @Tembo-Salam
      @Tembo-Salam 2 года назад +1

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks.....and I just got my books God where is my Boaz & Love after heart break vol 1.

    • @andrear6550
      @andrear6550 2 года назад +1

      Yes exactly 💯

  • @jackiemcbride833
    @jackiemcbride833 2 года назад +319

    If he's not ready for marriage or relationship, the cookie store is closed for business.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +6

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

    • @Mac-pluto
      @Mac-pluto 2 года назад +2

      🧢

    • @jackiemcbride833
      @jackiemcbride833 2 года назад +18

      @@Mac-pluto celibate for 6 years and counting thank you!!😊

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад

      @@jackiemcbride833 you should atleast have some small samples available or atleast let him window shop if you don't want to be celibate forever. A man needs to be enticed.

    • @jackiemcbride833
      @jackiemcbride833 2 года назад +22

      @@connectperfectly A woman of GOD does not compromise with the enemy.

  • @IrinaZhygalyk
    @IrinaZhygalyk Год назад +100

    I heard the “I’m not ready for a relationship” about a week ago and broke it off. It really hurt at first, but I knew it’d me good long term. I’m feeling much better today.

  • @Jasmine-zp2sd
    @Jasmine-zp2sd 2 года назад +233

    Okay but tell me why men come into a woman’s life knowing he’s not ready to love her??!! It’s so selfish to lead someone on for your benefit. I don’t get it..cause sometimes they won’t say they’re not ready they’ll just string you along until they have no more use of you and call the woman the crazy one when he wanted her first!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +24

      It isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏

    • @Noname19980
      @Noname19980 2 года назад +35

      Exactly I went through this I was minding my business and he came texting me even after I left him on seen knew I wanted a relationship knew I liked him and still wasted my time that’s why today I am how I am and kinda scared to date cause I’m scared it will happened again I went through hell with that guy

    • @aminabesmilin4691
      @aminabesmilin4691 2 года назад +25

      Because you’re either a place holder OR a booty call.

    • @shalalala868
      @shalalala868 2 года назад +25

      It's up to you to use discernment, common sense, and ask the right questions. If his words and actions don't align, cut him loose. Ask the hard questions upfront like "what are you looking for?" And if he says one thing, but behaves the other way - welp..there goes your answer!

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад +15

      It sucks but that's the game you are in. The only option is to get better at the game. There are women winning everyday. Become one of them. Its easy to do you just have to work hard at it

  • @Taisha12001
    @Taisha12001 2 года назад +334

    In all honesty, if man tells me any variation of "I'm not ready for a relationship" I'm out. Period. I don't need him to explain any further because that phrase explains it all and I am not going to put my life on hold for a man that made it known he is unsure about me.

    • @renee167
      @renee167 2 года назад +27

      Me too I feel the exact same way deuces ✌️✌️. I don’t have time for games, either you know what you want or not.

    • @sherrylldominique4990
      @sherrylldominique4990 2 года назад +39

      He’ll definitely be sure about someone else

    • @Taisha12001
      @Taisha12001 2 года назад +1

      @@renee167 Facts🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

    • @ladyowl9187
      @ladyowl9187 2 года назад +14

      I just told a guy where to go because he "wasn't ready"' but ready for sex. Yeah seeya! I ain't no hoe.

    • @Noname19980
      @Noname19980 2 года назад +21

      @@ladyowl9187 funny how they’re ready for that huh? I had a guy say he didn’t want a relationship (he lied he agreed in the beginning) made excuses why he didn’t want a relationship ( which were lies) but wanted to hang out and got mad when I didn’t want to

  • @gem4365
    @gem4365 2 года назад +555

    Thank you for this message Stephen. I recently got my heartbroken. I went to church and ask God for clarity and confirmation. God gave me BOTH. I ignored the gut feelings. I ignored the miscommunication and red flags. I know now and I thank God for answering my prayers. Ladies if you are not sure about the guy you're dating ask God for clarity and confirmation. Whatever answer you get I ask God to give you strength. You will be ok. Trust God's process. He will never steer you wrong. God bless yall.

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад +5

      God wants your to take action. Without action you'll always get what you've always got. Good luck sis

    • @crazyanimeloveable
      @crazyanimeloveable 2 года назад +21

      Same girl same! I ignored all signals. He wasn't Christian which is something I already knew but still proceeded.
      Now feeling sad, but I mostly miss the attention 😕

    • @cringeproof100
      @cringeproof100 2 года назад +9

      God bless you sister I hope the Lord brings you the man of your dreams.

    • @naturallyworkinit
      @naturallyworkinit 2 года назад +10

      I am so glad I read your comment. I know what I need to do and ask. But like you wrote: I also got to ask for the strength to handle the answer. I’m still dealing with the heartbreak and it’s almost been a year.

    • @leandras1669
      @leandras1669 2 года назад +2

      Thank you for this.

  • @Blakkberryz
    @Blakkberryz 2 года назад +334

    This is why I don’t lay down with him even though I want to lol. 😩 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’ll just give him time and space to think about how he really feels about me. He’s not ready for what he says he wants so I would like to not be attached and be available for my person. I’m stingy with my time and energy. I’m not wasting it.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 2 года назад +14

      Respect!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +8

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤

    • @sabrinamitchell8652
      @sabrinamitchell8652 2 года назад

      Very good! 👏

    • @jacquelynhorton7563
      @jacquelynhorton7563 2 года назад +7

      I agree to wait and move on when you see it is going nowhere.

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад +2

      Ifeoma in sure you are Nigerian and as a Nigerian man myself I know we can be challenging. Giving space is good if you aren't truly interested but if you give too much space you may lose him to a more aggressive style woman.

  • @loveandlight670
    @loveandlight670 2 года назад +92

    “Women tend to be casual with men of lower quality 🤯🤯🤯 “
    You nailed that baby !

  • @ThinkingLikeAVIRTUOUSWoman
    @ThinkingLikeAVIRTUOUSWoman 2 года назад +164

    Biggest thing I got from your video: No matter the reason, we have a CHOICE. We can stick around and “go with the flow”. OR, we can keep it moving. Keyword being choice 💯

  • @trutalk12
    @trutalk12 2 года назад +36

    Lordt why do we women care so much... Why can't we be numb like men. I'm tiiiirrrrrreeeeeedddd.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +3

      I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

  • @Itsmiimiibaby
    @Itsmiimiibaby 2 года назад +174

    Exactly. I had to be honest with myself and the guy I was dating. He was like let’s go with the flow. What flow? We had already crossed the line. It’s been 9 months already. Men now days play too many games. He tried to divert and put everything on me as if I was the only one who caught feelings after dealing with him for this amount of time. He suggested that we just be friends to make simpler and “keep you sane”. I told him communication & consistency is what does that. I told him I can’t do that that’s not what I want & you don’t get to keep me in your life like your other “friends” while you figure out if you want me or not. That’s why I say there’s pee, Froot Loops, Cheerios, poo, and immaturity in the Dating Pool nowadays. I’m out. Until God sends me the beautifully, imperfect heart & soul of the man he made for beautifully, imperfect me.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +13

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate your feedback and pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏

    • @andrear6550
      @andrear6550 2 года назад

      Yes im going through the same thing

    • @celiohelder1
      @celiohelder1 2 года назад

      Gurl, same here

    • @BrooklynBaby100
      @BrooklynBaby100 Год назад +7

      @@celiohelder1 are they all playing the same game?!! These men are sitting around reaping benefits for free … hit the road clown 🤡

    • @celiohelder1
      @celiohelder1 Год назад +1

      @@BrooklynBaby100 apparently they are.
      I date men and they aren’t much different in this universe either. It’s sad

  • @jahzyjase
    @jahzyjase 2 года назад +69

    Been there and we really need to stop wasting our time with the wrong one. The one who's ready will find you in the good moment. God doesn't send confusion in our life. Take the "I don't kno" for a no!!! Men kno what they want they just need the good one to realise it.

  • @authorlarhondanfelton9152
    @authorlarhondanfelton9152 2 года назад +75

    I tell my sista/friends all the time, don't let lust get you into something your heart can't handle.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      You'r absolutely right, thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤

    • @BrookeLyn39
      @BrookeLyn39 6 месяцев назад

      Very good.
      I like that.

  • @Tonilyn13
    @Tonilyn13 2 года назад +271

    Thank for bringing light to this situation. A lot of us woman are dealing with this and you confirmed everything I knew inside. Keep spreading your wisdom. We Appreciate you!❤

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +11

      Glad I could help 🙏

    • @UlandaRobinson
      @UlandaRobinson 2 года назад +3

      This was very helpful, I appreciate you.

    • @sophiabyrd634
      @sophiabyrd634 2 года назад

      I just divorce my husband after 11/2, finding out he was having sex with his MALE FRIEND, WHO IS IS BOYFRIEND. YUPPP I SOLD EVERYTHING AND GAVE him what he came into my life with, t-shirts, socks and underwear. I had purchased him a truck and Lexus and when I seen the truth, I SOLD IT ALL

    • @sophiabyrd634
      @sophiabyrd634 2 года назад

      1 -1/2 year

  • @alexakearney
    @alexakearney 2 года назад +307

    Your timing is always on point lol

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +17

      lol, 🙂 thank you.

    • @Kim-ej5mc
      @Kim-ej5mc 2 года назад +7

      You're so right

    • @Amethystgemz
      @Amethystgemz 2 года назад +7

      I was literally about to comment this because facts

    • @HonestyLove85
      @HonestyLove85 2 года назад +5

      This is so needed and right on time ⏲

    • @janae5336
      @janae5336 2 года назад +3

      Man what😩 literally perfect

  • @delorismartin3537
    @delorismartin3537 2 года назад +41

    I have someone at this moment, not wanting me to walk away and not wanting to be in a relationship. I told him, it's fine we don't have to be together but I'm moving on. This was on time bc he is being very territorial. I cut off hugs, kisses, sex....I changed my number...I mean...this is very eye opening.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +2

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏

  • @zheezhee352
    @zheezhee352 2 года назад +173

    Self love is everything. ✊🏾

  • @Joshesmom
    @Joshesmom 2 года назад +156

    So true! I went through this recently. This guy was just a client who turned into a friend but he treated me really well….I mean great. We started hanging out as friends. Then he started taking me out for dinner all the time and other fun things..and buying me extravagant gifts…spending big money…and I was like,”hey what’s going on here”???
    Then one day he said he was very sexually attracted to me…but I told him I didn’t want to sleep with a guy in the path to nowhere,(because he had already mentioned that he didn’t want a relationship or to ever marry again)…ironically he was crazy jealous and got toxic if I hung out with other guys. I never slept with him because I saw red flags and when I wanted to talk about it he was always unwilling to have a conversation. The weird part is that he spoiled me like crazy! He must have spent a hundred thousand dollars taking me out and buying me fancy things BUT he had a lot of red flags so it ended. It ended because I said I wanted to be with a guy who wants a real relationship and I definitely do NOT do FWB …so he got mad that I wouldn’t have sex with him so he sneaked off to sleep with some easy chic and tried to keep it secret but I saw the signs and our time ended. He still says hello sometimes but I don’t care how nice or rich or whatever a man is if he’s just trying to play me. At least I didn’t give it up and I stuck to my standards so I didn’t get too hurt. I want somebody who’s ready for what I need and wants to take the right steps to get there. So many players out there. I’m glad for these videos that help us navigate past all the bs! Thank you.

    • @Laoriginal718
      @Laoriginal718 2 года назад

      Remarriage while the first spouse is living is a sin. So you dodged a bullet. Never date anyones husband (divorce is a sin, once married you’re bound til death) or baby daddy (if you’re childless).

    • @rogers5622
      @rogers5622 2 года назад +4

      My friend was in a situation with an ex who was very generous to her but he used it for control . Got violent when she didn't want to accept side chicks 😳

    • @celesteessel4500
      @celesteessel4500 Год назад +2

      I’m so glad you didnt ignore the signs!!! God bless

    • @frankG335
      @frankG335 11 месяцев назад

      You really ought to return all gifts that you still have, such as material things - or it will seem as if you can be bought. Even to yourself it will feel like that.

    • @frankG335
      @frankG335 11 месяцев назад +1

      Wrong. The putting out of a woman WITHOUT A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE is a sin in the Bible.
      Being fat is also a sin. And all sin is the same.
      Focus on the log in your own eye before you focus on the speck in someone else's eye, and don't be a judgemental Pharisee.

  • @pudgie011
    @pudgie011 Год назад +18

    I appreciate a man who is honest about not being ready. Also a man that will communicate.

  • @ericajanellelifecoaching
    @ericajanellelifecoaching 2 года назад +139

    This is another amazing and real topic! I’ve been guilty of this for sure. We can’t deceive ourselves to think that we can get this guy to want to be ready for a relationship with us. We have to keep it 💯 with ourselves and know that if he doesn’t want a relationship but he wants to get all of relationship benefits, we have to respect ourselves enough to speak up for ourselves and say, you get relationship benefits when we’re in a relationship and not before!

    • @carlosverde-datingtips7001
      @carlosverde-datingtips7001 2 года назад +14

      Women, you deserve better, you need to really know what you truly want in a relationship, and once you have that all mapped out…
      it becomes a lot easier to weed out the men that do not fit the criteria you’re looking for.
      This way, you’re not wasting your time with men who are not ready for a relationship.
      Anyway, that’s my two cents.
      -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

    • @ericajanellelifecoaching
      @ericajanellelifecoaching 2 года назад +12

      @@carlosverde-datingtips7001 I couldn’t agree more! To add to that it’s not only knowing what we want but making sure we set our standards at the very beginning.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 2 года назад +3

      Exactly

    • @carlosverde-datingtips7001
      @carlosverde-datingtips7001 2 года назад +8

      @@ericajanellelifecoaching You’re exactly right! That way he knows where he stands with you. Lol

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +6

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

  • @prayalways
    @prayalways 2 года назад +111

    This entire video is a gem. Straight forward and really gives cause and effect....glad i could watch. I will tell you this though. Ready or not, its solo season 4 me 🙌🏾 ....Whomever Jesus direct my way The spirit will let me know. Alot i learn this year was exhausting and If imma be tired I want it to payoff with results not insults...Solo is my name until......🙏🏾.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +3

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤

  • @angelflower176
    @angelflower176 2 года назад +164

    Men do not deserve the relationship/gf benefits without actually committing to being a your bf/partner, not ok. Please girls don’t put yourself in these situations, open the door and close it. #boybye. You deserve so much better!:). Friendzone the guy who’s not ready for a relationship, do not in anyway entertain the guy. It’s not worth it, don’t allow him to use you for his benefit. Guard your heart. The pain from this is not worth it and it can badly affect your mental health, emotional health and even physical health, it’s been scientifically proven. I myself have also learnt the hard way from being in these situations, I realised I needed to love myself more and get the heck out!:) God helped me and continues to help me heal my low self esteem and people pleasing ways and cos I know God loves me I don’t try to seek validation from men (this is still a struggle but I’m much better:) Gods love is much better than sacrificing yourself to be with a guy who is commitment phobic and not willing to step up as a man or just using you for sex and comfort. We as women deserve so much better.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +7

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @angelflower176
      @angelflower176 2 года назад +6

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks no dramas at all Stephen:) I believe this is a HUGE topic that needs to be addressed in dating culture so thank you for bringing it up. I’ve seen many women and even men cry over the wrong bf/gf as I volunteer online counselling when I can. I’ve studied christian counselling and family therapy:) I’m by no means a Psychologist or anything and it’s not my profession I just volunteer but this is a huge topic in todays hook up or dating culture.. women and men getting hurt on both sides… like emotionally damaged for years over these situations ships etc

    • @Goodwillwinoverevil1984
      @Goodwillwinoverevil1984 3 месяца назад

      I just wanted to finally be married and to be called a wife and a mother but yes exactly, not at this expense! Not this way!

  • @ladytana7640
    @ladytana7640 Год назад +70

    Listening to this makes me realize so many things... Then I regret so much accepting certain things that I had accepted back then. Attachment is indeed the very strong feeling that has held me back now I am embracing my healing process and I can definitely see the growth.

  • @mandy8780
    @mandy8780 2 года назад +118

    Wow! 🥺🙊
    This is so true for us women. We will just sit at a table where love is no longer being served, forgetting that we're naturally emotional beings. We always catch feelings and end up hurt , broken and bitter in the end. The next genuine relationship may suffer as a result. Self sabotage.
    "The more you invest in this BS situation, the harder it is to come out." Stephan Speaks
    Thank you 🙂❤

  • @turner2952
    @turner2952 2 года назад +58

    Outstanding advice!
    Some men just want to have fun, so they usually take the path of least resistance. Most of the time, they will do/say whatever they feel is necessary to maintain their level of peace.

  • @TheMissLeanne
    @TheMissLeanne 2 года назад +68

    GOD KNEW I needed this video. Thank you so much. The clarity and confirmation this has brought me has likely saved me from heart break and a bad situation. God bless you!

  • @carlosverde-datingtips7001
    @carlosverde-datingtips7001 2 года назад +90

    Great advice Stephan!
    Women, you deserve better, you need to really know what you truly want in a relationship, and once you have that all mapped out…
    it becomes a lot easier to weed out the men that do not fit the criteria you’re looking for.
    This way, you’re not wasting your time with men who are not ready for a relationship.
    Anyway, that’s my two cents.
    -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

  • @sandragreen5146
    @sandragreen5146 2 года назад +25

    Walk away when he say he doesn't want a relationship. No benefits! No nothing! Walk away!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад

      Not true. Gotta learn the game Sandra

    • @puertoricanprincess2272
      @puertoricanprincess2272 2 года назад

      @@connectperfectly the game? Lol. What's the game in your opinion.

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад

      @@puertoricanprincess2272 Women have the power of seduction built right in but either don't know how to use it or are too lazy to do so. We will talk about it in the next few episodes. follow the channel and find us on ig under the same name.

  • @kyshar7532
    @kyshar7532 2 года назад +20

    This is good… “Being territorial should not be confused with real feelings”

  • @moniquepope5925
    @moniquepope5925 2 года назад +50

    My truth. I have to walk away all im doing is hurting myself. Thanks for your wisdom and knowledge

  • @AureliaBessard
    @AureliaBessard 2 года назад +29

    Just leave and wait on God!!

  • @shannonfagan5104
    @shannonfagan5104 2 года назад +45

    I am in this exact situation right now. He told me he's not ready for anything too serious but is saying good morning and goodnight everyday and acting like my boyfriend. It's like we're in a relationship but his initial words linger in my mind making things challenging. This video was much needed.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +5

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

    • @shannonfagan5104
      @shannonfagan5104 2 года назад +3

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks well we ended it today

    • @Noname19980
      @Noname19980 2 года назад

      @@shannonfagan5104 I’m glad you ended it

    • @stephaniedickerson5126
      @stephaniedickerson5126 2 года назад +15

      Why do men stick around and still be with the woman who they aren’t ready to be in a relationship? Say they want one but feel you arnt “the one” why continue to waist time with the person then instead of finding the right one? Don’t get it

    • @Noname19980
      @Noname19980 2 года назад +3

      @@stephaniedickerson5126 I be wondering the same thing I had this happened to me

  • @fayewearing581
    @fayewearing581 2 года назад +155

    I'm a communicator. I've made mistakes where I gave WIFE benefits to a BOYFRIEND/SEXUAL ACQUAINTANCE. I've learned to make communication a priority. For me, discussing where we are after 3-6 months and if we would like to go further. I allow him to determine that once I make my desires known.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +13

      Communication is definitely key, thank you for sharing ❤

    • @Mac-pluto
      @Mac-pluto 2 года назад +11

      Faye, my advice is move quicker than that. If a woman isn’t asking about a relationship within 3 months of consistently dating, I assume she obviously just wants to keep it casual…
      And after 6 months.. if I’m looking for something serious, you aren’t even in consideration at that point because I’m assuming I’m your backup plan

    • @karenabbott5974
      @karenabbott5974 2 года назад +2

      Thanks!

    • @zen_mindset1
      @zen_mindset1 11 месяцев назад

      Well marriage isn't for everyone to fair. But make sure you are on the same understanding when you do sleep with them.
      I have no problem with a long-term commitment with intimacy. Honestly I don't think I would do the marriage thing again. I'm up for a long-term commitment.

  • @deandreaallen418
    @deandreaallen418 2 года назад +46

    this video saved me I've told myself this for months now all I have to do is execute....I believe the women here knew this already as well. like always we look for confirmation especially if it's not coming from the person we need it from. THANK YOU wholeheartedly 🦋

  • @Leney735
    @Leney735 2 года назад +24

    “I’m cool with going with the flow… not the hell you’re not!” That spoke to me! It’s me! 😂😂😂😂💀🤦🏾‍♀️
    I need to speak to Stephan about my process to exit stage Rn 🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @karisajohnson6667
    @karisajohnson6667 Год назад +37

    I laugh a lot watching your videos Stephan and I appreciate you a lot for helping me get through extremely rough times 🙏🏽🙌🏽

  • @melissacole5271
    @melissacole5271 2 года назад +60

    Well, I… don’t do casual sex only relationships. I’m either getting to know someone to move forward toward a future… Or we’re cutting ties. I am perfectly happy being alone…. No one ever died from not having sex! 😏

  • @vanessag7661
    @vanessag7661 2 года назад +26

    "Take that as an opportunity to exit stage left, and get on the path to receiving what's truly best for you, and what you actually want in life." ❤️ 🚶🏾‍♀️👏🏽 Thanks again Stephan...☺️

  • @shanae3488
    @shanae3488 2 года назад +44

    Thanks so much for this video! I know I'm not going to settle for less than I know my worth! We as women are more emotional than men. We need to make sure we are working towards healthy relationships if that's what we want. Always make the right choice FOR YOU! 💯💜👑

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @shanae3488
      @shanae3488 2 года назад

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you for sharing your honest opinions and giving us the real from a man's perspective King 👑 💜

  • @BAM4_
    @BAM4_ 2 года назад +17

    Ladies, don't waste your time with these married men. It is definitely a waste of your time. If they going to get a divorce then they need to to heal. Don't jump into a relationship that early. You are going to be hurt.

  • @tiyahouse2299
    @tiyahouse2299 2 года назад +14

    No more of dealing with any man who wants cake too....See Ya... Don't Even Look This Way.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @tiyahouse2299
      @tiyahouse2299 2 года назад

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks You're Always Welcome ❤️

  • @reneepeaceofmindbodysoulhe5911
    @reneepeaceofmindbodysoulhe5911 2 года назад +35

    This hits right at the time I need it to heal on point with me parting with my “friend of almost 2 years with husband benefits “

  • @jasmineshuman6993
    @jasmineshuman6993 2 года назад +29

    This is definitely a red flag video to not waste your time or give to much to get nothing!! Thanks Stephen!!! 😁

  • @Npla717
    @Npla717 2 года назад +34

    Love everything about this video. The problem comes in when they are so selfish that they can't be honest about not being ready for a relationship. He came in "ready" yet along the way I had to figure out that in reality he was not ready. Just be honest.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @stephaniedickerson5126
      @stephaniedickerson5126 2 года назад +3

      Yea but I always ask is that so they want one but then as time goes they don’t feel we are the right one for them and they just then continue doing what they do but not ending it or giving there all?

    • @SofrKeira
      @SofrKeira 10 месяцев назад

      ⁠@@stephaniedickerson5126I completely coming where you coming from, I entered a relationship with a good man but his actions and values didn’t match and i could intuitively felt like that wasn’t his all , we can only allow what we can take and what’s best for us ,so I definitely exited the stage left because as women we deserve some one who wants to lead not someone who you have to push like a child.

  • @Wonderwoman79G
    @Wonderwoman79G 2 года назад +24

    Your territorial comment is one of the most brutally honest comments I have ever heard on social media. You are right that too many men like women to be around but not fully commit or marry them.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад +1

      Yes but some women are chosen and married from that process. They say no woman wants a man other woman don't want. Better to be picked out of a large pool as the wife than be his only option. If only you want him then he may not be the one.

  • @valoo333
    @valoo333 2 года назад +72

    Thank you for this Stephan. I’ve been thinking for a few weeks now if I’m happy in my ‘situationship’ and I think Its time to face my thruth, set my boundaries with the man I am seeing and do whats best for me. I’ve been doing this mistake over and over and I feel like I deserve someone that will be on the same page as me.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +12

      I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏 ❤️

  • @jasminhernandez7094
    @jasminhernandez7094 2 года назад +32

    I’m literally crying this is what I need to hear I’ve been watching your other video on repeat and now I have this video. Thank you so much

  • @akrodriguez2720
    @akrodriguez2720 2 года назад +26

    Stephan -- You're the BEST1. This video is excellent and covers everything we need to know. Your videos always give a balanced perspective. So often we women want a "relationship" with a man at any cost. A good man knows himself and will bond with the right woman who fits with him. He doesn't play games... Your advice is always on point!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      ❤ 🙂 Thank you very much, I appreciate your feedback!

  • @AureliaBessard
    @AureliaBessard 2 года назад +16

    I've been there. I had to WALK AWAY!!!

  • @beefaye6861
    @beefaye6861 2 года назад +13

    IF HE IS MARRIED....RUN LIKE HELL....IF YOU DON'T...YOU WILL TRADE PLACES WITH THE CURRENT WIFE ✌

  • @sandragreen5146
    @sandragreen5146 2 года назад +48

    He doesn't want you but still wants some of your energy.

  • @debbiejoyner2411
    @debbiejoyner2411 2 года назад +14

    Bruh man, action speak louder than words, you are dead on, jealousy doesn't equate to a relationship, it is about control, having my cake and eat it too, and you are not getting a slice of it either or neither, he just want to hold on to you as an "in case" but don't want to commit to you but you BET not go "no where" with anyone else, oh father.. friend, oh, okay... cookie time

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

  • @missnotnice1102
    @missnotnice1102 2 года назад +37

    I relate to this personally. He said I just want to focus on work, school, getting his life together! I am not ready for a relationship, but I love having you around and I fall into the trap smh.. I know what I want but I am so comfortable with him it scares me to start over with someone new!!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +8

      I feel you it definitely isn't an easy situation but you need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏

    • @kerlineresor3750
      @kerlineresor3750 2 года назад +6

      I’m in the same situation. I’m going to focus on myself from now on.

    • @Alimaway
      @Alimaway 2 года назад +3

      If you are not comfortable in a situationship than rethink it. I was just in one as I we both liked each other, good times but how he felt bout a pal was the ending of the situation. Reason why I had always said no I wont be ur gf as we needed to get to know each other more. I never was in a relationship as its alot of talk but no action. Not sure how that works with some. The situation I wanted to eventually travel, go try diff places locally to eat and all. Somethings are nice to do with someone. It is hard to start new with someone.

    • @Noname19980
      @Noname19980 2 года назад +6

      Girl it’s BS I had this guy tell me this honestly it has nothing to do with a relationship cause there’s people everyday that have more on their plate and are in a relationship ( even married) it’s an excuse I fell for this but the guy lied and waited to tell me this when the 4th month came he was full of it cause in the beginning he agreed to a relationship than he lied and try to say he never said that and made excuses

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад +7

      Give him space but not only that. Withdraw drastically but not entirely. When he feels what he's missing then he'll make a decision one way or another and then you'll know.

  • @renee167
    @renee167 2 года назад +20

    Excellent explanation, clarity is very important and if you don’t receive it my advice is to move on. Every one should know what they want and if you’re still undecided and you’re 30 years old or older that’s a red flag 🚩. Be clear or be out ✌️✌️✌️!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

  • @Baquetsartbakery
    @Baquetsartbakery 2 года назад +16

    Always on point sir! Learned this the hard way, started focusing on developing a closer relationship with the Most High, fasting, not entertaining even the idea of dating, just working on improving myself fully and my eyes have opened up more. We must keep our chastity, fight to keep it, men and women especially with all of this corrupt music, TV shows, etc that bombards us spiritually mentally emotionally and physically. We are human beings and we desire/need love companionship etc. But most of all we need our Lord. We must consistently ask Him for right guidance, forgiveness and help. And we have to put in the work. People come and go, people come, leave then come back and very few stay. The ones that never come back came to teach us, and the ones that stay, we must pay attention. Keep your legs closed Queens. Let him explore your heart, mind, character, what makes you you. Don't let me talk your panties off. He got you flowers, he opens doors, he takes you out, he makes you laugh, he helps you, KEEP LETTING HIM BUT NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PRECIOUS TREASURE! You will know by what he shows you. And how he treats you is how he feels about you. You let him lead. Be consistent in prayer and protecting your heart and safe gaurd your chastity. Sex is very powerful, very beautiful, extremely sacred and our spouses are the only ones that should be getting it. Thank you for this message and reminder Stephan. May the Most High bless and guide us all Ameen.

    • @frankG335
      @frankG335 11 месяцев назад

      This would fix the entire dating mess. It would hold men to a higher standard of behavior and keep women from getting used.

  • @ccmjones2003
    @ccmjones2003 2 года назад +32

    I'm going through this right now... just what I needed.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Glad I could help 🙏

    • @ccmjones2003
      @ccmjones2003 2 года назад +1

      @Nautahsha Simms set boundaries. And be the strong one

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад

      @Nautahsha Simms you are worth it. ❤️. I'm sure you've learned from what happened. You have 2 choices. Wallow in the pain or become a better version of you. What do you chose?

  • @lonirichardson2051
    @lonirichardson2051 2 года назад +126

    This is so on point. I've had these feelings for someone that put me in the friendzone. Really hard for me to get over cause i feel they are my soulmate. Ive decided to distance myself. I want his heart not a non-commitment sexual relationship. So I feel crazy cause we haven't had sex and I feel so strongly about him. Thank you for this video....You are so on point.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +16

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏

    • @lashannonclay1256
      @lashannonclay1256 2 года назад +13

      I am going through the same thing.

    • @atlantasfaithsmom
      @atlantasfaithsmom 2 года назад +14

      Being soulmates is a two- way street though. His being your soulmate, but your not being his is not going to work.

    • @aminabesmilin4691
      @aminabesmilin4691 2 года назад

      Same

    • @1Shondee
      @1Shondee 2 года назад +8

      @@atlantasfaithsmom so true🎯 I too got 💔 for the 2nd time by the SAME PERSON😭 This video is so on point! I messed up because I let a so called man tell & show me he dont want more than ONCE🤦🏽‍♀️ #SillyOfMe

  • @BAM4_
    @BAM4_ 2 года назад +9

    He is not ready and he doesn't want you to move on. He is Narcissistic. Get out of the relationship now.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

  • @annyseg6601
    @annyseg6601 2 года назад +11

    Story of my life with this guy I been messing with for 7 months …. Smh 🤦‍♀️

  • @naturallyworkinit
    @naturallyworkinit 2 года назад +21

    I made sure to get "He’s Lying Sis” And I love that it’s in audiobook, so I can learn to grasp and strive to embrace this same energy. My heart is stubborn and often not prepared for the ugly, hurtful truth..being honest with the situations I find myself in are becoming more easy to understand. This topic/post is 100% of what I need to hear. I have a lump in throat the entire time-yes, but I got to hear this.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +2

      Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

  • @leatricewalker8038
    @leatricewalker8038 2 года назад +20

    I like your straightforwardness and humor. You are always on point 🔥

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 3 месяца назад +2

    1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.)
    2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one.
    3. Don’t give easy access. Access to your energy should be expensive.
    4. Do NOT only EXPRESS your boundaries. YOU MUST show them.
    5. Always be ready to walk away.
    6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words.
    7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism.
    8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed.
    9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, does not EVER chase a man.
    Giving the same energy that you're getting
    is key
    and if you don't like that energy
    then move on! NOW!
    It can be hard
    but that's when you need to choose yourself
    over the damn illusion/fantasy.
    A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period.
    So...
    If he ignores me
    I will step back
    and he will lose me.
    Simple. Simple.
    Non-dramatic
    and uncomplicated.
    I don’t,
    under any circumstance:
    play these childish-abusive-controlling
    mind games.
    I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me,
    and treats me as the Queen, I AM.
    (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!)
    Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine
    and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman:
    who knows my worth.
    Period.
    Also,
    We create each moment.
    This moment contains,
    through my focus,
    both positive and negative...
    I can put my attention on what I lack,
    what I don't have,
    what traumas I do have etc...
    And,
    I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW,
    the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have...
    (You get my idea!)
    Both are here...
    And now.
    For the sake of fairness,
    I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment
    if/when they come/arise,
    AND
    also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW.
    Pain? Yes.
    Suffering? Indeed.
    And,
    also:
    wonderous magical divine beauty.
    Blessings to you!

  • @millermelanie33
    @millermelanie33 2 года назад +18

    Truth.. I keep going through this, the last question hit the nail right on the head! Went from a relationship to nothing, to friends, to fwb, to nothing, etc. it’s a vicious cycle. Only this time I hear. “This is why I’m single”. Or, “This is why I’m staying single”. Do you bro. Cuz that’s what I’m gonna do! ✌🏻 Ty Stephan ❤️

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

  • @queentashe9691
    @queentashe9691 2 года назад +13

    Awesome video! You are right! Many of us just can’t handle the platonic sex. Definitely NOT for a woman like me. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  • @sankananjisinkala7498
    @sankananjisinkala7498 2 года назад +25

    Your timing is amazing. How can one handle a situation where an ex is involved?
    Maybe a video in the future ?❤️

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +10

      Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!

    • @KM-eo8uw
      @KM-eo8uw 2 года назад +2

      U may not agree but an x is an x for a reason. R u sure he’s changed??🤔

    • @NiMarieB
      @NiMarieB 2 года назад +3

      @@KM-eo8uw What if it deals with the fact that this person may have kids?

    • @KM-eo8uw
      @KM-eo8uw 2 года назад +1

      @@NiMarieB boy this is a touchy issue. For me I’d rather a man with no children. Reason being often times the ‘child/children mother’ uses the kids as excuse to be calling him every minute even when it’s not important (remember I say often not always) secondly it depends on how old the children are. Let’s say a man has 3 kids and he’s struggling to take care of them; my question is how is he gonna take care of me and our children we r going to be havin together. Also does these kids love you or blame you for their dad leaving their mom? A LOT had to b considered when kids are involved.
      Let me share my story. I was dating this guy and he hav 3 kids, the mother wud often leave them alone cause she knows they r going to call their dad n he’s goin to go their to stay with them. The problem with this is that he was livin with me and had to leave us ere alone to go to stay with the kids as the mom wasn’t there. So I ended it cause what kina marriage wud that be?🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @KM-eo8uw
      @KM-eo8uw 2 года назад +1

      @@NiMarieB also if u mean that they have kids together; staying in a relationship that’s toxic because of kids is even more toxic as ur teaching ur kids that toxicity is ok.

  • @shamekahairston8368
    @shamekahairston8368 2 года назад +7

    I am so drained..basically FWB for 1 year and 2 months...I finally let go one month strong. Working on myself and becoming the better version of me.

  • @BAM4_
    @BAM4_ 2 года назад +6

    Some men words doesn't match their actions. He is just playing games and he need to stop acting like a boy and grow up and be a man of his words

  • @sunsetstormx
    @sunsetstormx Год назад +4

    If a man said, "I just want to be friends" and then asks you to give him wifey benefits.... He is not worth your time. Walk away as fast as possible. Leave him and let the door slam behind you. You are not a toy to be played with. He does not respect you. These are the kinds that will be cheating.

  • @BAM4_
    @BAM4_ 2 года назад +8

    I clearly understand what you are saying but the grown men need to grow up. The key is too move on and let him continue not to be ready. Let him go.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

  • @Joezsee
    @Joezsee Год назад +10

    I have just broke up with my bf because he said he is sure that his feeling for me is only a friendship and cant be more than that. He said it after a year of dating and he was so sure that we will be together for marriage but then he got confuse and choose to leave..😢

  • @ddazz1403
    @ddazz1403 2 года назад +13

    Very Helpful, Stephan! This video certainly clears up my feeling funny about asking a new person i meet what type of relationship he's looking for, I still ask it. Then If I like the answer, I'll speak to him for a couple of weeks maybe a couple more then ask what he's looking for WITH ME. This answer normally lets me know whether we should continue to get to know eachother or not, sort of never fails. This question sounds simple but it's a loaded one. Luv your posts, grateful for you, thanks!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      ❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

  • @dragonflyj
    @dragonflyj 2 года назад +27

    He said he was not ready for a serious relationship and just want to be friends for now. It broke my heart bc there is something really special between us. I respect his decision but I refuse to be a placeholder and nourish him back to a good place and see him find someone else bc he will be then "ready." I love myself too much to pour my love and attention in a man that does not want me for a serious commitment.
    I'm so greatful for this video and I'm planning to go see you in Boston, Stephan!

    • @nenuhhS11
      @nenuhhS11 Год назад +4

      This is exactly how I feel/what went down.. any updates??

    • @moonbeam3431
      @moonbeam3431 Год назад +1

      Any updates on this? Super curious.

  • @pkp6791
    @pkp6791 2 года назад +11

    Very interesting discussion! I would love to hear your take on this story:
    I was dating a guy once who told me that he knew I was the person he wanted to marry, but he wasn't ready. He also said that he wanted to be able to fool around with other women but the thought of me fooling around with another guy drove him crazy-- his words. I told him that while I appreciated his honesty, my self worth would never allow me to be in a relationship that had two different sets of rules/rights. I told him that maybe we should break up and take our chances at finding each other again when we were ready. He didn't like that. Nothing else was said.
    A few weeks later, I saw him holding hands with another woman. I sent him a letter and broke up and never saw him again. Never had any further discussions about it with him.
    He ended up marrying that woman several years later. They are now divorced ( she filed). Before they got married, he would always mention my name to people he met who were from my hometown community or college and say how great I am. His GF ( now ex wife) would even mention me to associates and ask them details about what I was like because her BF would say that I was so perfect ( her words). Weird.
    I'm not sure exactly what happened here, but I do know he ended up regretting what happened. He doesn't know that I know he went on to marry the person he cheated on me with. I don't think he realized my value at the time, but has since come to realize it. Unfortunately, it is too late because I will never be a second choice/afterthought or 'option' when something else fails-- particularly since it was someone he cheated on me with.
    Ladies, be very careful with men who 'aren't ready'. They may be more ready than you think, but underestimating you as a woman/person, etc. No one should ever allow themselves to be treated as an option or second choice. NO person ( male or female) is worth your self respect and/or dignity.

    • @courtneym.7915
      @courtneym.7915 2 года назад +5

      The last part..that part! You are my emotionally intelligent hero ❤

    • @danimarie1819
      @danimarie1819 2 года назад

      Yep yep Karma is a biatchhh!

  • @dcam3035
    @dcam3035 2 года назад +12

    We both wanted comfort, sex and fun after being out of serious relationships. We agreed to be honest if we had attraction to someone else. I could tell he started having feelings before me and I considered it but was trying to be sure it wasn’t me mistaking lust for love. Once I was sure I do love him I told him not necessarily wanting or expecting him to say it back but because it was genuine. We tried to take it bf and gf status but he says he’s not ready because I have so much more than him plus I have 2 young children whose father passed and he doesn’t have any (I’m 35 and he’s 28).
    Neither of us want to be sexual anymore because neither of us are overly sexual and have satisfied that desire.
    I respect he wants to start fresh and build his own family I just hope he doesn’t get mistreated. Because he is truly one of a kind. He helped me be open to love again, made me willing to be vulnerable again, and showed me so much respect and I truly enjoy his company and conversation(which is so crazy because we have a slight language barrier; his first language is Spanish and I understand it way better than I can speak it but we mainly speak English).
    I was initially hurt by us not getting in bf gf status. But my genuine love for him causes me to use my wisdom and not emotions.
    If it meant to be it’ll be. I’m grateful for our friendship.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @DrMargoLomaxD
      @DrMargoLomaxD 2 года назад +2

      oh my gosh girl, you just spoke my situation better than I expressed it. Different language, different counties even for me and a wider age gap but I adore him for many of the same reasons you stated. I just know I need to back away and I'm not sure how/if I can do it. Miss him so profoundly when I try. 🙏🏽

    • @dcam3035
      @dcam3035 2 года назад +2

      @@DrMargoLomaxD I’ve moved on from the FWB and am in a relationship with someone else now. He asked me to be his girlfriend and is so in love with me. He’s 33

  • @denitrasmith7042
    @denitrasmith7042 2 года назад +9

    We are in our mid 60's. Dating four months. I love our connection. I told him that I love him, for being a good man. I clarified I'm not in love with him after 4 months. He agreed, he's not in love with me. We are exclusive, and he claims me as his girlfriend. He says I'm perfect for him. He's been married twice, and says he would do it again. I would like to get married again, and I can see myself being married to him. I plan on giving this a year, and pay attention to see if his feelings deepen, if not. Then I will move on...

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!

    • @denitrasmith7042
      @denitrasmith7042 2 года назад

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks I'd like to book a session with you! What do I need to do?

  • @michellebrown4372
    @michellebrown4372 2 года назад +45

    I appreciate you so much. I was dealing with someone treating me as a back burner so I held him accountable. I told him that I respect his choice to be friends, but I will not entertain him playing relationship games with me. He was giving me very little effort, no time and just enough attention to keep me hanging on a string as his backup plan. Because of you, I addressed it and told him that I recognize what he is doing and that I will no longer entertain this behavior because he is not pouring nothing into my life and I don’t need to be pacified. It was so liberating to state my worth and that I not willing to settle for this behavior. He called and said he hears me and understand. I told him that most women would settle for this, but I require more from a friend or relationship. Thank you Stephan. I told him I prefer he go figure things and call me at that point.👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Glad I could help!

    • @shandradowe4113
      @shandradowe4113 2 года назад +1

      Omg..you said right on point cause I was going through the same thing with this guy who I thought things were going somewhere come to find out it was all talk....

    • @onyevyk4592
      @onyevyk4592 2 года назад +1

      This is exactly what I did days ago even before stumbling on thos video. This video was made for me. From start to finish. It's well.

  • @ToniMBullock
    @ToniMBullock 2 года назад +7

    It means I’m going to take as much from you as you’ll give, and give you nothing in return. If he’s not ready ladies, leave him high and dry. Let him be “not ready” all by himself and find a real man.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

  • @teresabrown8224
    @teresabrown8224 2 года назад +10

    Thank you for your help and knowledge. Because this man that I was dating just instantly asked me could he move in with me and started trying to control what I do where I’m going, what time and everything, it was driving me crazy 😝… asking me to send him money and ask me to buy him a book called Brainwashed 👀👀👀🤬. 😱 OMG!!!! I just said GOODBYE 👋

    • @BAM4_
      @BAM4_ 2 года назад +2

      Don't to any of the above.

    • @teresabrown8224
      @teresabrown8224 2 года назад +1

      @@BAM4_ I will not…👍

    • @shalalala868
      @shalalala868 2 года назад +2

      Sounds like he's a hobosexual!! RUN!! That man ain't got nowhere to live!

  • @How.Dare.You.
    @How.Dare.You. 2 года назад +3

    Too bad. He isnt giving me enough time? Its not even a matter of my happiness, Im just not interested and will get a guy who will keep that intetest in me

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you🙏

  • @angelflower176
    @angelflower176 2 года назад +8

    It’s just not worth getting into a casual relationship/emotional enmeshment with a man or a friends with benefits situation-ship with men as a christian or a non christian trust me(scientifically and biologically speaking women and men more women are not designed to have casual situations with men or just sex or one night stands, it’s bad for your body/soul and heart) protect your heart/body and soul and don’t get emotionally attached to these men. Date the men that deserve you and are ready for a relationship!! You are worth the love you give to these men, you deserve the love back!! Trust me I know the statistics on these things:)! God bless everyone

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback and may God bless you as well 🙏

    • @angelflower176
      @angelflower176 2 года назад +2

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks God wants so much more for our earthly relationships than what we often settle for. Women and men on both sides need to stop hurting each other, it causes long term emotional and psychological damage. The rates of depression and anxiety/suicidality tend to be higher in people in complicated relationship/situationship. Also I think we all need to learn to communicate better as men and women and set healthier boundaries and standards for our lives:) From Jess in Australia 🇦🇺

    • @connectperfectly
      @connectperfectly 2 года назад

      Life isn't all statistics. Each woman and man is different but it's true certain characteristics are similar. Situationships have also lead to great marriages. Its easy to say no sex to marriage but you are making a harder road for yourself. All my married friends had sex with their wives before marriage and are doing well as far as I know. Not saying to do it just saying you are making your path to marriage tougher

  • @taraivinirayawa5403
    @taraivinirayawa5403 2 года назад +14

    Oh thank you for this timely message, God bless🙏

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Thank you very much and may God bless you as well 🙏

  • @jayc5756
    @jayc5756 2 года назад +12

    Exactly! Women do confuse that a lot...when a guy cuffs you by being possessive and selfish and territorial....but that doesn't equate to him wanting you and loving you like that. Cmon now. Thats why I tell women that all the time. So Thank You for telling them again bro.

    • @renee167
      @renee167 2 года назад +3

      Great advice, keep spreading the encouragement!

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 2 года назад +3

      @@renee167 Thanks sis!

    • @renee167
      @renee167 2 года назад +2

      @@jayc5756 you’re welcome.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 2 года назад

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks No doubt

  • @aran08504
    @aran08504 2 года назад +37

    See that's it right there. I wish I would not have wasted my early 30s on a guy who said one thing but he sure did act like we were in relationship and didn't want me to see anyone else. I finally had to bounce.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +2

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @timdand
      @timdand 2 года назад +1

      Same here wasted my 30's 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @I_Chelle
      @I_Chelle 2 года назад +1

      not wasted! time well spent for the future 🌅

    • @majesticjourneys7080
      @majesticjourneys7080 2 года назад +1

      I needed this 💓💓thanks for the warning

  • @DrMargoLomaxD
    @DrMargoLomaxD 2 года назад +7

    What if a guy tells you he just wants to be friends after a mutually agreed casual relationship. He said he sensed that I was getting emotionally involved and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me because Im "the best person he's ever known" so he friend zoned me and he has been a good non sexual friend during some my toughest life moments which has only made me love him more. if I'm honest I could go back to casual but I'm trying to be fully honest with myself about what I want and whats possible. I can't speak what I want but I know I'm way past emotionally involved. I have not had someone treat me in word & deed with so much authéntic, honest emotional care. Lord help me!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      🙏 I hope you're able to do what is truly best.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏

  • @chiquitablalock4131
    @chiquitablalock4131 2 года назад +11

    Wow thanks so much for this video. I just got out of this situation. You are speaking straight facts. Keep these videos coming!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      ❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

  • @juliewade8140
    @juliewade8140 2 года назад +7

    Good stuff! I believe men underestimate the value women place on honesty. Men lie for various reasons, one of the more popular reason is that “she wouldn’t be able to handle the truth”. This is so not true, I respect a man so much for his truth, whether the news is good or bad. I lose respect & trust fast when I’ve found out that he lied to me, the relationship is pretty much over at that point.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад

      Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

    • @amandavil
      @amandavil 2 года назад

      Honestly, you couldn't have said that better.

  • @joiedevivre1984
    @joiedevivre1984 2 года назад +7

    Because someone desires or say they care doesn't mean that they respect or are ready to be the person you want them to be towards you.

  • @atongethompson9345
    @atongethompson9345 2 года назад +11

    Thank you for bringing clarity to the issue of men not wanting to commit. I now know what to watch out for. My time and energy is valuable i can't afford to waste it on a man's insecurity. Thanks again.💕

  • @aloveaffairwithself
    @aloveaffairwithself 2 года назад +4

    You want to act single? Imma act single too. And not give you the option to sleep with me. Literally Just date. Or not at all. I think sometimes we forget that we are wives, and let these men distract us because we want him so bad. While diminishing our values and desires. I stopped playing that game with men once I remembered who I was as a woman.

  • @fosterjanine5112
    @fosterjanine5112 2 года назад +4

    You will never get a genuine apology from a man who is insecure, arrogant and prideful. Besides, how can you apologize to someone when you always feel you are right? Sorry without change in action is manipulation and they feel entitled to abuse you and come back to you whenever they choose to. HATE says " I don't care how my actions is affecting you and my mission is to DESTROY you". " I'm sorry but you think I am lying." That isn't an apology. HATE isn't SORRY! PERIOD.
    Treat me like an OPTION I will treat you like you were never the ONE.

  • @pamelarmcdaniels5075
    @pamelarmcdaniels5075 2 года назад +6

    Whew! This is a powerful message! 15 years on and off! I wasted a lot of time! But lesson learned! I said no! I won’t go back, I can’t go back! I GOT OUT! I will wait for the right one! ‼️‼️‼️

  • @cancersun7346
    @cancersun7346 2 года назад +8

    I like this very much. But I'm not ready for a relationship either. We enjoy each other's company. A relationship is a lot of commitment and dedication.

  • @Amethystgemz
    @Amethystgemz 2 года назад +6

    I HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO 3x so it can get drilled into my head

  • @Flacaladomi
    @Flacaladomi 2 года назад +9

    This video came to me at a right time lol cause I’ve went through something like this with the same guy 4x already & we haven’t spoke since October because of the same reason I wanted to have a relationship with him but he wanted me to wait but wasn’t showing me that he wanted me more like a girlfriend. Long story short I can see that him & I aren’t compatible. But yet he still has me on social media 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  2 года назад +1

      🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best!

  • @MissSeaSea
    @MissSeaSea 2 года назад +3

    2years of off and on and he is in PRISON, I don’t ever ask him for anything, I love him and we just spend time and enjoy one another. Talk everyday, etc. recently he said something about men hitting on me in public and me needing to wear a ring so men know I’m’ taken’ and I told him I’m not taken because he won’t commit to me. He called me crazy and stopped talking to me. The last year has been so amazing with him being locked up and just the time together. I never asked him for a single thing. Sighhhh…. But yeah, even when he was out I wouldn’t have sex with him or let him touch me at all. He knows that. But we’re absolutely in love. He’s crazy about me. He’s just an idiot. I’m absolutely lost
    Honestly, I don’t want to love my life without him. There is no one else for me, I know, I’ve been alone for five years, but I’ve been completely in love with him since we met. I’m alone with or without him, honestly