Your time is precious, let no man waste it! 💯 Get your copy of the bestselling book "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 this book has been helping women everywhere!
Thank you so much for that an funny because my grandmother actually got me this book last year in the midst of everything to show me and the Man God has for you I’m going to finally have time to read being alone now and highway to healing for once and respecting and loving me and my body not just giving it to anyone anymore but your amazing thank you so much for all the clarity and love advice on dating and relationships always on point
@StephanSpeaks I been in a Relationship for 7 years and when I was 22 he asks me can he have a 3 some and I told him no not now maybe when I turn 30 but I'm turning 30 soon and he told me he wants another woman in the relationship in I told him yes but my heart said No I can't do it.. it's hurts me so much cause I'm thinking I'm enough but I'm not enough for him.. I really need some Advice from you a Alpha Black Male I'm crying for help???
Ladies be grateful when a man tells you he’s not ready and respect his decision cause they are so many men who will tell you they are ready but their actions says totally different!
The thing is men wait to say they don’t want a relationship after months of “dating” I had this happened to me he lied in the beginning I was upfront and said I wanted to be in a relationship and asked him and he said “ yeah let’s see where it goes” then 4 months later he says he doesn’t want one and lied and tried to say he never said he wanted a relationship ( even tho I had messages of him saying it and calling me baby) he said “ all I said was you was a good vibe” after that I cut him off he tried coming back but I didn’t let that happen
I dumped my ex yesterday, he told me he was confused after 4 months of dating and wasn't sure if he is ready for a relationship , so my reply was "let me help you with your confusion, bye"
I heard the “I’m not ready for a relationship” about a week ago and broke it off. It really hurt at first, but I knew it’d me good long term. I’m feeling much better today.
Thank you for this message Stephen. I recently got my heartbroken. I went to church and ask God for clarity and confirmation. God gave me BOTH. I ignored the gut feelings. I ignored the miscommunication and red flags. I know now and I thank God for answering my prayers. Ladies if you are not sure about the guy you're dating ask God for clarity and confirmation. Whatever answer you get I ask God to give you strength. You will be ok. Trust God's process. He will never steer you wrong. God bless yall.
Same girl same! I ignored all signals. He wasn't Christian which is something I already knew but still proceeded. Now feeling sad, but I mostly miss the attention 😕
I am so glad I read your comment. I know what I need to do and ask. But like you wrote: I also got to ask for the strength to handle the answer. I’m still dealing with the heartbreak and it’s almost been a year.
In all honesty, if man tells me any variation of "I'm not ready for a relationship" I'm out. Period. I don't need him to explain any further because that phrase explains it all and I am not going to put my life on hold for a man that made it known he is unsure about me.
@@ladyowl9187 funny how they’re ready for that huh? I had a guy say he didn’t want a relationship (he lied he agreed in the beginning) made excuses why he didn’t want a relationship ( which were lies) but wanted to hang out and got mad when I didn’t want to
This is why I don’t lay down with him even though I want to lol. 😩 🤦🏽♀️ I’ll just give him time and space to think about how he really feels about me. He’s not ready for what he says he wants so I would like to not be attached and be available for my person. I’m stingy with my time and energy. I’m not wasting it.
Ifeoma in sure you are Nigerian and as a Nigerian man myself I know we can be challenging. Giving space is good if you aren't truly interested but if you give too much space you may lose him to a more aggressive style woman.
Biggest thing I got from your video: No matter the reason, we have a CHOICE. We can stick around and “go with the flow”. OR, we can keep it moving. Keyword being choice 💯
@@jackiemcbride833 you should atleast have some small samples available or atleast let him window shop if you don't want to be celibate forever. A man needs to be enticed.
Exactly. I had to be honest with myself and the guy I was dating. He was like let’s go with the flow. What flow? We had already crossed the line. It’s been 9 months already. Men now days play too many games. He tried to divert and put everything on me as if I was the only one who caught feelings after dealing with him for this amount of time. He suggested that we just be friends to make simpler and “keep you sane”. I told him communication & consistency is what does that. I told him I can’t do that that’s not what I want & you don’t get to keep me in your life like your other “friends” while you figure out if you want me or not. That’s why I say there’s pee, Froot Loops, Cheerios, poo, and immaturity in the Dating Pool nowadays. I’m out. Until God sends me the beautifully, imperfect heart & soul of the man he made for beautifully, imperfect me.
So true! I went through this recently. This guy was just a client who turned into a friend but he treated me really well….I mean great. We started hanging out as friends. Then he started taking me out for dinner all the time and other fun things..and buying me extravagant gifts…spending big money…and I was like,”hey what’s going on here”??? Then one day he said he was very sexually attracted to me…but I told him I didn’t want to sleep with a guy in the path to nowhere,(because he had already mentioned that he didn’t want a relationship or to ever marry again)…ironically he was crazy jealous and got toxic if I hung out with other guys. I never slept with him because I saw red flags and when I wanted to talk about it he was always unwilling to have a conversation. The weird part is that he spoiled me like crazy! He must have spent a hundred thousand dollars taking me out and buying me fancy things BUT he had a lot of red flags so it ended. It ended because I said I wanted to be with a guy who wants a real relationship and I definitely do NOT do FWB …so he got mad that I wouldn’t have sex with him so he sneaked off to sleep with some easy chic and tried to keep it secret but I saw the signs and our time ended. He still says hello sometimes but I don’t care how nice or rich or whatever a man is if he’s just trying to play me. At least I didn’t give it up and I stuck to my standards so I didn’t get too hurt. I want somebody who’s ready for what I need and wants to take the right steps to get there. So many players out there. I’m glad for these videos that help us navigate past all the bs! Thank you.
Remarriage while the first spouse is living is a sin. So you dodged a bullet. Never date anyones husband (divorce is a sin, once married you’re bound til death) or baby daddy (if you’re childless).
My friend was in a situation with an ex who was very generous to her but he used it for control . Got violent when she didn't want to accept side chicks 😳
You really ought to return all gifts that you still have, such as material things - or it will seem as if you can be bought. Even to yourself it will feel like that.
Wrong. The putting out of a woman WITHOUT A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE is a sin in the Bible. Being fat is also a sin. And all sin is the same. Focus on the log in your own eye before you focus on the speck in someone else's eye, and don't be a judgemental Pharisee.
Men do not deserve the relationship/gf benefits without actually committing to being a your bf/partner, not ok. Please girls don’t put yourself in these situations, open the door and close it. #boybye. You deserve so much better!:). Friendzone the guy who’s not ready for a relationship, do not in anyway entertain the guy. It’s not worth it, don’t allow him to use you for his benefit. Guard your heart. The pain from this is not worth it and it can badly affect your mental health, emotional health and even physical health, it’s been scientifically proven. I myself have also learnt the hard way from being in these situations, I realised I needed to love myself more and get the heck out!:) God helped me and continues to help me heal my low self esteem and people pleasing ways and cos I know God loves me I don’t try to seek validation from men (this is still a struggle but I’m much better:) Gods love is much better than sacrificing yourself to be with a guy who is commitment phobic and not willing to step up as a man or just using you for sex and comfort. We as women deserve so much better.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks no dramas at all Stephen:) I believe this is a HUGE topic that needs to be addressed in dating culture so thank you for bringing it up. I’ve seen many women and even men cry over the wrong bf/gf as I volunteer online counselling when I can. I’ve studied christian counselling and family therapy:) I’m by no means a Psychologist or anything and it’s not my profession I just volunteer but this is a huge topic in todays hook up or dating culture.. women and men getting hurt on both sides… like emotionally damaged for years over these situations ships etc
Okay but tell me why men come into a woman’s life knowing he’s not ready to love her??!! It’s so selfish to lead someone on for your benefit. I don’t get it..cause sometimes they won’t say they’re not ready they’ll just string you along until they have no more use of you and call the woman the crazy one when he wanted her first!
Exactly I went through this I was minding my business and he came texting me even after I left him on seen knew I wanted a relationship knew I liked him and still wasted my time that’s why today I am how I am and kinda scared to date cause I’m scared it will happened again I went through hell with that guy
It's up to you to use discernment, common sense, and ask the right questions. If his words and actions don't align, cut him loose. Ask the hard questions upfront like "what are you looking for?" And if he says one thing, but behaves the other way - welp..there goes your answer!
It sucks but that's the game you are in. The only option is to get better at the game. There are women winning everyday. Become one of them. Its easy to do you just have to work hard at it
Wow! 🥺🙊 This is so true for us women. We will just sit at a table where love is no longer being served, forgetting that we're naturally emotional beings. We always catch feelings and end up hurt , broken and bitter in the end. The next genuine relationship may suffer as a result. Self sabotage. "The more you invest in this BS situation, the harder it is to come out." Stephan Speaks Thank you 🙂❤
Listening to this makes me realize so many things... Then I regret so much accepting certain things that I had accepted back then. Attachment is indeed the very strong feeling that has held me back now I am embracing my healing process and I can definitely see the growth.
I'm a communicator. I've made mistakes where I gave WIFE benefits to a BOYFRIEND/SEXUAL ACQUAINTANCE. I've learned to make communication a priority. For me, discussing where we are after 3-6 months and if we would like to go further. I allow him to determine that once I make my desires known.
Faye, my advice is move quicker than that. If a woman isn’t asking about a relationship within 3 months of consistently dating, I assume she obviously just wants to keep it casual… And after 6 months.. if I’m looking for something serious, you aren’t even in consideration at that point because I’m assuming I’m your backup plan
Well marriage isn't for everyone to fair. But make sure you are on the same understanding when you do sleep with them. I have no problem with a long-term commitment with intimacy. Honestly I don't think I would do the marriage thing again. I'm up for a long-term commitment.
Been there and we really need to stop wasting our time with the wrong one. The one who's ready will find you in the good moment. God doesn't send confusion in our life. Take the "I don't kno" for a no!!! Men kno what they want they just need the good one to realise it.
I have someone at this moment, not wanting me to walk away and not wanting to be in a relationship. I told him, it's fine we don't have to be together but I'm moving on. This was on time bc he is being very territorial. I cut off hugs, kisses, sex....I changed my number...I mean...this is very eye opening.
“I’m cool with going with the flow… not the hell you’re not!” That spoke to me! It’s me! 😂😂😂😂💀🤦🏾♀️ I need to speak to Stephan about my process to exit stage Rn 🤦🏾♀️
He said he was not ready for a serious relationship and just want to be friends for now. It broke my heart bc there is something really special between us. I respect his decision but I refuse to be a placeholder and nourish him back to a good place and see him find someone else bc he will be then "ready." I love myself too much to pour my love and attention in a man that does not want me for a serious commitment. I'm so greatful for this video and I'm planning to go see you in Boston, Stephan!
I am in this exact situation right now. He told me he's not ready for anything too serious but is saying good morning and goodnight everyday and acting like my boyfriend. It's like we're in a relationship but his initial words linger in my mind making things challenging. This video was much needed.
Why do men stick around and still be with the woman who they aren’t ready to be in a relationship? Say they want one but feel you arnt “the one” why continue to waist time with the person then instead of finding the right one? Don’t get it
Your territorial comment is one of the most brutally honest comments I have ever heard on social media. You are right that too many men like women to be around but not fully commit or marry them.
Yes but some women are chosen and married from that process. They say no woman wants a man other woman don't want. Better to be picked out of a large pool as the wife than be his only option. If only you want him then he may not be the one.
Thank for bringing light to this situation. A lot of us woman are dealing with this and you confirmed everything I knew inside. Keep spreading your wisdom. We Appreciate you!❤
I just divorce my husband after 11/2, finding out he was having sex with his MALE FRIEND, WHO IS IS BOYFRIEND. YUPPP I SOLD EVERYTHING AND GAVE him what he came into my life with, t-shirts, socks and underwear. I had purchased him a truck and Lexus and when I seen the truth, I SOLD IT ALL
I appreciate you so much. I was dealing with someone treating me as a back burner so I held him accountable. I told him that I respect his choice to be friends, but I will not entertain him playing relationship games with me. He was giving me very little effort, no time and just enough attention to keep me hanging on a string as his backup plan. Because of you, I addressed it and told him that I recognize what he is doing and that I will no longer entertain this behavior because he is not pouring nothing into my life and I don’t need to be pacified. It was so liberating to state my worth and that I not willing to settle for this behavior. He called and said he hears me and understand. I told him that most women would settle for this, but I require more from a friend or relationship. Thank you Stephan. I told him I prefer he go figure things and call me at that point.👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾
Omg..you said right on point cause I was going through the same thing with this guy who I thought things were going somewhere come to find out it was all talk....
This is another amazing and real topic! I’ve been guilty of this for sure. We can’t deceive ourselves to think that we can get this guy to want to be ready for a relationship with us. We have to keep it 💯 with ourselves and know that if he doesn’t want a relationship but he wants to get all of relationship benefits, we have to respect ourselves enough to speak up for ourselves and say, you get relationship benefits when we’re in a relationship and not before!
Women, you deserve better, you need to really know what you truly want in a relationship, and once you have that all mapped out… it becomes a lot easier to weed out the men that do not fit the criteria you’re looking for. This way, you’re not wasting your time with men who are not ready for a relationship. Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 I couldn’t agree more! To add to that it’s not only knowing what we want but making sure we set our standards at the very beginning.
Outstanding advice! Some men just want to have fun, so they usually take the path of least resistance. Most of the time, they will do/say whatever they feel is necessary to maintain their level of peace.
"Take that as an opportunity to exit stage left, and get on the path to receiving what's truly best for you, and what you actually want in life." ❤️ 🚶🏾♀️👏🏽 Thanks again Stephan...☺️
Great advice Stephan! Women, you deserve better, you need to really know what you truly want in a relationship, and once you have that all mapped out… it becomes a lot easier to weed out the men that do not fit the criteria you’re looking for. This way, you’re not wasting your time with men who are not ready for a relationship. Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.) 2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one. 3. Don’t give easy access. Access to your energy should be expensive. 4. Do NOT only EXPRESS your boundaries. YOU MUST show them. 5. Always be ready to walk away. 6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words. 7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism. 8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed. 9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, does not EVER chase a man. Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on! NOW! It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Also, We create each moment. This moment contains, through my focus, both positive and negative... I can put my attention on what I lack, what I don't have, what traumas I do have etc... And, I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW, the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have... (You get my idea!) Both are here... And now. For the sake of fairness, I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment if/when they come/arise, AND also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW. Pain? Yes. Suffering? Indeed. And, also: wonderous magical divine beauty. Blessings to you!
This entire video is a gem. Straight forward and really gives cause and effect....glad i could watch. I will tell you this though. Ready or not, its solo season 4 me 🙌🏾 ....Whomever Jesus direct my way The spirit will let me know. Alot i learn this year was exhausting and If imma be tired I want it to payoff with results not insults...Solo is my name until......🙏🏾.
Well, I… don’t do casual sex only relationships. I’m either getting to know someone to move forward toward a future… Or we’re cutting ties. I am perfectly happy being alone…. No one ever died from not having sex! 😏
Thank you for this Stephan. I’ve been thinking for a few weeks now if I’m happy in my ‘situationship’ and I think Its time to face my thruth, set my boundaries with the man I am seeing and do whats best for me. I’ve been doing this mistake over and over and I feel like I deserve someone that will be on the same page as me.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏 ❤️
Love everything about this video. The problem comes in when they are so selfish that they can't be honest about not being ready for a relationship. He came in "ready" yet along the way I had to figure out that in reality he was not ready. Just be honest.
Yea but I always ask is that so they want one but then as time goes they don’t feel we are the right one for them and they just then continue doing what they do but not ending it or giving there all?
@@stephaniedickerson5126I completely coming where you coming from, I entered a relationship with a good man but his actions and values didn’t match and i could intuitively felt like that wasn’t his all , we can only allow what we can take and what’s best for us ,so I definitely exited the stage left because as women we deserve some one who wants to lead not someone who you have to push like a child.
Yes, and Yes. It was tough, we were just chill. Then we became playmates but when we were at the cross road to compromise, it was curtains. I am grateful to have retained my dignity. I'm bleeding out but not looking back.
I relate to this personally. He said I just want to focus on work, school, getting his life together! I am not ready for a relationship, but I love having you around and I fall into the trap smh.. I know what I want but I am so comfortable with him it scares me to start over with someone new!!
If you are not comfortable in a situationship than rethink it. I was just in one as I we both liked each other, good times but how he felt bout a pal was the ending of the situation. Reason why I had always said no I wont be ur gf as we needed to get to know each other more. I never was in a relationship as its alot of talk but no action. Not sure how that works with some. The situation I wanted to eventually travel, go try diff places locally to eat and all. Somethings are nice to do with someone. It is hard to start new with someone.
Girl it’s BS I had this guy tell me this honestly it has nothing to do with a relationship cause there’s people everyday that have more on their plate and are in a relationship ( even married) it’s an excuse I fell for this but the guy lied and waited to tell me this when the 4th month came he was full of it cause in the beginning he agreed to a relationship than he lied and try to say he never said that and made excuses
Give him space but not only that. Withdraw drastically but not entirely. When he feels what he's missing then he'll make a decision one way or another and then you'll know.
Always on point sir! Learned this the hard way, started focusing on developing a closer relationship with the Most High, fasting, not entertaining even the idea of dating, just working on improving myself fully and my eyes have opened up more. We must keep our chastity, fight to keep it, men and women especially with all of this corrupt music, TV shows, etc that bombards us spiritually mentally emotionally and physically. We are human beings and we desire/need love companionship etc. But most of all we need our Lord. We must consistently ask Him for right guidance, forgiveness and help. And we have to put in the work. People come and go, people come, leave then come back and very few stay. The ones that never come back came to teach us, and the ones that stay, we must pay attention. Keep your legs closed Queens. Let him explore your heart, mind, character, what makes you you. Don't let me talk your panties off. He got you flowers, he opens doors, he takes you out, he makes you laugh, he helps you, KEEP LETTING HIM BUT NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PRECIOUS TREASURE! You will know by what he shows you. And how he treats you is how he feels about you. You let him lead. Be consistent in prayer and protecting your heart and safe gaurd your chastity. Sex is very powerful, very beautiful, extremely sacred and our spouses are the only ones that should be getting it. Thank you for this message and reminder Stephan. May the Most High bless and guide us all Ameen.
Thank you so much for this video. I've listened to it several times trying to find the strength to walk away from a situationship that Ive been in for 18 months. I thought I could handle it but I got caught up and he has made it known to me that he absolutely under no circumstances want to be in a relationship with me. It's hard to walk away, but I know I have to because he only want to be friends and chill with me when he want. I love "Me" better than that.😢
this video saved me I've told myself this for months now all I have to do is execute....I believe the women here knew this already as well. like always we look for confirmation especially if it's not coming from the person we need it from. THANK YOU wholeheartedly 🦋
GOD KNEW I needed this video. Thank you so much. The clarity and confirmation this has brought me has likely saved me from heart break and a bad situation. God bless you!
Whew! This is a powerful message! 15 years on and off! I wasted a lot of time! But lesson learned! I said no! I won’t go back, I can’t go back! I GOT OUT! I will wait for the right one! ‼️‼️‼️
Bruh man, action speak louder than words, you are dead on, jealousy doesn't equate to a relationship, it is about control, having my cake and eat it too, and you are not getting a slice of it either or neither, he just want to hold on to you as an "in case" but don't want to commit to you but you BET not go "no where" with anyone else, oh father.. friend, oh, okay... cookie time
Truth.. I keep going through this, the last question hit the nail right on the head! Went from a relationship to nothing, to friends, to fwb, to nothing, etc. it’s a vicious cycle. Only this time I hear. “This is why I’m single”. Or, “This is why I’m staying single”. Do you bro. Cuz that’s what I’m gonna do! ✌🏻 Ty Stephan ❤️
@Nautahsha Simms you are worth it. ❤️. I'm sure you've learned from what happened. You have 2 choices. Wallow in the pain or become a better version of you. What do you chose?
I made sure to get "He’s Lying Sis” And I love that it’s in audiobook, so I can learn to grasp and strive to embrace this same energy. My heart is stubborn and often not prepared for the ugly, hurtful truth..being honest with the situations I find myself in are becoming more easy to understand. This topic/post is 100% of what I need to hear. I have a lump in throat the entire time-yes, but I got to hear this.
Stephan -- You're the BEST1. This video is excellent and covers everything we need to know. Your videos always give a balanced perspective. So often we women want a "relationship" with a man at any cost. A good man knows himself and will bond with the right woman who fits with him. He doesn't play games... Your advice is always on point!
Thanks so much for this video! I know I'm not going to settle for less than I know my worth! We as women are more emotional than men. We need to make sure we are working towards healthy relationships if that's what we want. Always make the right choice FOR YOU! 💯💜👑
Very interesting discussion! I would love to hear your take on this story: I was dating a guy once who told me that he knew I was the person he wanted to marry, but he wasn't ready. He also said that he wanted to be able to fool around with other women but the thought of me fooling around with another guy drove him crazy-- his words. I told him that while I appreciated his honesty, my self worth would never allow me to be in a relationship that had two different sets of rules/rights. I told him that maybe we should break up and take our chances at finding each other again when we were ready. He didn't like that. Nothing else was said. A few weeks later, I saw him holding hands with another woman. I sent him a letter and broke up and never saw him again. Never had any further discussions about it with him. He ended up marrying that woman several years later. They are now divorced ( she filed). Before they got married, he would always mention my name to people he met who were from my hometown community or college and say how great I am. His GF ( now ex wife) would even mention me to associates and ask them details about what I was like because her BF would say that I was so perfect ( her words). Weird. I'm not sure exactly what happened here, but I do know he ended up regretting what happened. He doesn't know that I know he went on to marry the person he cheated on me with. I don't think he realized my value at the time, but has since come to realize it. Unfortunately, it is too late because I will never be a second choice/afterthought or 'option' when something else fails-- particularly since it was someone he cheated on me with. Ladies, be very careful with men who 'aren't ready'. They may be more ready than you think, but underestimating you as a woman/person, etc. No one should ever allow themselves to be treated as an option or second choice. NO person ( male or female) is worth your self respect and/or dignity.
He said he has a lot on his plate right now esp his finances and still working to land a job and said maybe soon and said he misses me.. But I’m letting him go now. I believe that I will never miss what is for me. ❤ Thank you Sir Stephan for this Clarity and for teaching us how to navigate dating More power to you
I think mine was genuine. Lots of love and affection. Spent lots of time with his family. Red flags appeared. Tried to discuss he went from we can talk about anything to telling me to write them down then put them in a drawer and leave it. He kept telling me can’t we just go forward from this point forward and forget my red flags. But I couldn’t. I know these flags were a warning for me, but I didn’t leave the relationship until he ended it. Thank you for helping me understand. I never could resolve these issues with him. He couldn’t seem to answer my questions without getting angry, giving confusing answers or becoming emotional. Thanks again.
Thank you 🙏🏽 .I was in this situationship with this guy and he clearly wanted a companion and everything a relationship comes with but not not willing to give me a relationship. Glad it only lasted 3mths
Thank you so much. I needed this because I’m stuck in a situationship I don’t know how to get out of. He’s continuously said we may or may not date “in 6 months” ..”in 12 months” and now it’s draining me. Going to end it with him when he’s back from his ski trip. He’s successful and amazing but I know he’s keeping me around while he’s waiting for the one he wants. His loss ❤️
Came at the right time, he told me a while after that he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he didn’t want the previous pain of his relationship to be brought on to me and that he needed time to be alone… we were on the same page.. it hurt to do the right thing cause it truly felt like the ONE.. and maybe that def needs time and space so I haven’t texted him since. He wanted to separate his feelings of feeling alone, after a divorce from his emotions for me. In my heart.. I feel he just isn’t lying, and there’s a need to be patient in general. Not just for him but for myself. He even told me what to expect, but I never asked any of these important questions, I should’ve.
I feel you on this. I am going through this exact thing!! We met, the chemistry and connection is there, but he ghosted me for 7mos to care for the ex wife who was battling cancer. He texted me and asked to call me. I obliged bc I needed an explanation for this disappearance. And that's what I was told. I asked him, so what us it that you want from me and for us? He said he wanted us to move forward from where we left off and the biggest thing is, he didn't want me to hate him. We have never been intimate and I was firm in my stance that ,unless I'm in an exclusively committed relationship, will I be intimate. He has always understood that and there's been no pressure. So we met and he apologized genuinely and said he'd never hurt me or disappoint me again; however, 3 mos later, he texts and say, he need more time to work things through, bc he's going through things with the job and he now has his 6 year old daily and on weekends. I basically told him, handle your business; I'm going to step aside and continue dating others, bc my heart will remain open to receive all of the love that I unselfishly pour into others......
This is so on point. I've had these feelings for someone that put me in the friendzone. Really hard for me to get over cause i feel they are my soulmate. Ive decided to distance myself. I want his heart not a non-commitment sexual relationship. So I feel crazy cause we haven't had sex and I feel so strongly about him. Thank you for this video....You are so on point.
@@atlantasfaithsmom so true🎯 I too got 💔 for the 2nd time by the SAME PERSON😭 This video is so on point! I messed up because I let a so called man tell & show me he dont want more than ONCE🤦🏽♀️ #SillyOfMe
I like this very much. But I'm not ready for a relationship either. We enjoy each other's company. A relationship is a lot of commitment and dedication.
We are in our mid 60's. Dating four months. I love our connection. I told him that I love him, for being a good man. I clarified I'm not in love with him after 4 months. He agreed, he's not in love with me. We are exclusive, and he claims me as his girlfriend. He says I'm perfect for him. He's been married twice, and says he would do it again. I would like to get married again, and I can see myself being married to him. I plan on giving this a year, and pay attention to see if his feelings deepen, if not. Then I will move on...
Excellent explanation, clarity is very important and if you don’t receive it my advice is to move on. Every one should know what they want and if you’re still undecided and you’re 30 years old or older that’s a red flag 🚩. Be clear or be out ✌️✌️✌️!
Thank you for bringing clarity to the issue of men not wanting to commit. I now know what to watch out for. My time and energy is valuable i can't afford to waste it on a man's insecurity. Thanks again.💕
Dealt with this before. Learned that they just want the freebies of a relationship without the commitment or work. I learned to take the hint and drop them
I met a guy four months ago, made everything possible for us to meet at least once so that I could ask him what he truly wanted. He told me repeatedly on three different occasions; he wasn't ready; he needed us to see a couple of extra times before he could make up his mind. The third time I was out. For me, I am not about to wait around and put my life on hold for some Indecisive guy. I have a lot to focus on and a life to live and develop. We are still friends, but I will not invest energy and emotions towards him any longer. One thing I have learnt over the years is to never think for a man or play the game of “ what ifs.” Every man knows what they want, and they always go for it once they see it. Most times, we ladies let our emotions cloud our sense of judgement. It is crucial to learn not to always be in your feelings. Thank God, these days, I know how to control my emotions in every way possible. Thank you, Stephen, for the good work and the wisdom you share. God bless you!
I needed this video. I can't handle just being his friend for my mental state. Taking the first step by blocking him number. He probably wouldn't care if I stop reaching out to him.
@@puertoricanprincess2272 Women have the power of seduction built right in but either don't know how to use it or are too lazy to do so. We will talk about it in the next few episodes. follow the channel and find us on ig under the same name.
It’s so great that Stephan can say things to women that are so hard for them to hear or that others would never tell them, like men handcuffing them but knowing they will never want to be with you.
Dear Stephan, thank you so much for these educational videos. I’m in the middle of watching this video, and i truly appreciate how you try to not insult anyone watching. This is a very aspiring and healthy advice, it’s truly inspirational how you’re so connected to your own feelings and how aware you are of other people’s emotions. I genuinely enjoy watching your videos, your vibes are so beautiful, your humour is exceptional and non-offending or shaming, and thank you so much again for being such an inspiring individual. Sending so much love your way.
Men tend to be more logical and realistic than we are, so if he tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, just understand that there's a reason. For alot of these guys these days, financial struggles are just one major reason for their decision not to settle down, but they will never actually tell you that. For others, they simply want to be detached and there's nothing wrong with that either, but honesty is the best policy when it comes to dating and relationships of any kind.
Thank you Stephan for being honest & open when a man is not ready for a relationship. Every woman deserves an awesome partner who loves her. All women should see this video & apply what applies to her. Thank You for your Powerful messages. 🤗🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️ GOD BLESS
If a man said, "I just want to be friends" and then asks you to give him wifey benefits.... He is not worth your time. Walk away as fast as possible. Leave him and let the door slam behind you. You are not a toy to be played with. He does not respect you. These are the kinds that will be cheating.
Having your heart torn apart can hurt. Thank you for your eye opening and insightful advice! It's just so comforting to get this kind of perspective from a relationship coach - I'm going to listen on repeat this week!
I want to thank you sooo much! I am still not out of the woods yet but working on it. You have truly helped me and my current situation. I listened to your episode with Lewis Howes and from that you were like a light bulb that went off in my head. I resnote with so much of what you say. How you deliver and convey the information you share is exactly how I used to be." I still resonate so much when you had made a statement on Jay Shetty's show at one time a women gave all to her 1st love. I can remember I put my ex-husband on a pedalstool and from that point I have not been able the love as healthy as I once had and through that it has just been to levels of unhealthy that I know I don't come from. So thank you! Thank you so much!
So helpful! I like the idea of giving him time apart from me and coming back when he is ready. Stay open to the kind good guy. Don’t miss out on the opportunity when he comes back correct. 💗
Thank you for this video. This is what I'm going through now and hate it. He's sticking to his word and I'm stuck and hurt everyday because he's not changing either and it's been a year
Much needed advice… this just happened to me, 3 months in a situationship, asked him where this is going, and he told me he wants to back off and be friends to get to know each other more. Told him I don’t wanna be friends and walked away. It’s so hard but I think I did the right thing for myself
Your time is precious, let no man waste it! 💯 Get your copy of the bestselling book "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 this book has been helping women everywhere!
I have all of your books. They are off the chain.
Thank you so much for that an funny because my grandmother actually got me this book last year in the midst of everything to show me and the Man God has for you I’m going to finally have time to read being alone now and highway to healing for once and respecting and loving me and my body not just giving it to anyone anymore but your amazing thank you so much for all the clarity and love advice on dating and relationships always on point
I don't know how I became unsubscribed, because I never hit unsubscribe. I re-subscribed
Help! He just told me his still not sure. I was confused
@StephanSpeaks I been in a Relationship for 7 years and when I was 22 he asks me can he have a 3 some and I told him no not now maybe when I turn 30 but I'm turning 30 soon and he told me he wants another woman in the relationship in I told him yes but my heart said No I can't do it.. it's hurts me so much cause I'm thinking I'm enough but I'm not enough for him.. I really need some Advice from you a Alpha Black Male I'm crying for help???
Ladies be grateful when a man tells you he’s not ready and respect his decision cause they are so many men who will tell you they are ready but their actions says totally different!
Most definitely!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I so love getting ❤️s from you ☺️ #mymentor
Yup. They be ready 4 u and the other 3, 4 women they're rotating.
This comment! I rather a man tell me this from the start than pretend, because only God knows I would be willing to leave!
The thing is men wait to say they don’t want a relationship after months of “dating” I had this happened to me he lied in the beginning I was upfront and said I wanted to be in a relationship and asked him and he said “ yeah let’s see where it goes” then 4 months later he says he doesn’t want one and lied and tried to say he never said he wanted a relationship ( even tho I had messages of him saying it and calling me baby) he said “ all I said was you was a good vibe” after that I cut him off he tried coming back but I didn’t let that happen
NEVER MAKE A MAN A PRIORITY WHILE HE IS MAKING YOU AN OPTION... ✌
❤ 💯
I'm not going to be no man's option..BOOM!
💜💜💜 that is a good one, yes!
200000%
Well stated bravo 👏
I dumped my ex yesterday, he told me he was confused after 4 months of dating and wasn't sure if he is ready for a relationship , so my reply was "let me help you with your confusion, bye"
😂😂😂😂😂😂 you kill me with your comment
@@Nikkiscorner78 ha ha x
Has it stuck?
@@atlantasfaithsmom yes, he contacted me last month, I ignored it
@@natashahibbit326 block him
"Just because someone desires you doesn't mean they value you" haa
Absolutely!
Facts‼️💯💯
This is exactly what happened to me😔 I feel soo used..
A word 🙌🏾
“Women tend to be casual with men of lower quality 🤯🤯🤯 “
You nailed that baby !
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
You teach the truth, Always.
"NEVER BE AFRAID TO LET GO A MAN WHOSE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOU."
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that ❤
@@MeetStephanSpeaks.....and I just got my books God where is my Boaz & Love after heart break vol 1.
Yes exactly 💯
I heard the “I’m not ready for a relationship” about a week ago and broke it off. It really hurt at first, but I knew it’d me good long term. I’m feeling much better today.
Thank you for this message Stephen. I recently got my heartbroken. I went to church and ask God for clarity and confirmation. God gave me BOTH. I ignored the gut feelings. I ignored the miscommunication and red flags. I know now and I thank God for answering my prayers. Ladies if you are not sure about the guy you're dating ask God for clarity and confirmation. Whatever answer you get I ask God to give you strength. You will be ok. Trust God's process. He will never steer you wrong. God bless yall.
God wants your to take action. Without action you'll always get what you've always got. Good luck sis
Same girl same! I ignored all signals. He wasn't Christian which is something I already knew but still proceeded.
Now feeling sad, but I mostly miss the attention 😕
God bless you sister I hope the Lord brings you the man of your dreams.
I am so glad I read your comment. I know what I need to do and ask. But like you wrote: I also got to ask for the strength to handle the answer. I’m still dealing with the heartbreak and it’s almost been a year.
Thank you for this.
In all honesty, if man tells me any variation of "I'm not ready for a relationship" I'm out. Period. I don't need him to explain any further because that phrase explains it all and I am not going to put my life on hold for a man that made it known he is unsure about me.
Me too I feel the exact same way deuces ✌️✌️. I don’t have time for games, either you know what you want or not.
He’ll definitely be sure about someone else
@@renee167 Facts🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I just told a guy where to go because he "wasn't ready"' but ready for sex. Yeah seeya! I ain't no hoe.
@@ladyowl9187 funny how they’re ready for that huh? I had a guy say he didn’t want a relationship (he lied he agreed in the beginning) made excuses why he didn’t want a relationship ( which were lies) but wanted to hang out and got mad when I didn’t want to
This is why I don’t lay down with him even though I want to lol. 😩 🤦🏽♀️ I’ll just give him time and space to think about how he really feels about me. He’s not ready for what he says he wants so I would like to not be attached and be available for my person. I’m stingy with my time and energy. I’m not wasting it.
Respect!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
Very good! 👏
I agree to wait and move on when you see it is going nowhere.
Ifeoma in sure you are Nigerian and as a Nigerian man myself I know we can be challenging. Giving space is good if you aren't truly interested but if you give too much space you may lose him to a more aggressive style woman.
I appreciate a man who is honest about not being ready. Also a man that will communicate.
Biggest thing I got from your video: No matter the reason, we have a CHOICE. We can stick around and “go with the flow”. OR, we can keep it moving. Keyword being choice 💯
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
They do it for an ego boost.
I tell my sista/friends all the time, don't let lust get you into something your heart can't handle.
You'r absolutely right, thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
Very good.
I like that.
Self love is everything. ✊🏾
I need that.
If he's not ready for marriage or relationship, the cookie store is closed for business.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
🧢
@@Mac-pluto celibate for 6 years and counting thank you!!😊
@@jackiemcbride833 you should atleast have some small samples available or atleast let him window shop if you don't want to be celibate forever. A man needs to be enticed.
@@connectperfectly A woman of GOD does not compromise with the enemy.
Exactly. I had to be honest with myself and the guy I was dating. He was like let’s go with the flow. What flow? We had already crossed the line. It’s been 9 months already. Men now days play too many games. He tried to divert and put everything on me as if I was the only one who caught feelings after dealing with him for this amount of time. He suggested that we just be friends to make simpler and “keep you sane”. I told him communication & consistency is what does that. I told him I can’t do that that’s not what I want & you don’t get to keep me in your life like your other “friends” while you figure out if you want me or not. That’s why I say there’s pee, Froot Loops, Cheerios, poo, and immaturity in the Dating Pool nowadays. I’m out. Until God sends me the beautifully, imperfect heart & soul of the man he made for beautifully, imperfect me.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate your feedback and pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏
Yes im going through the same thing
Gurl, same here
@@celiohelder1 are they all playing the same game?!! These men are sitting around reaping benefits for free … hit the road clown 🤡
@@BrooklynBaby100 apparently they are.
I date men and they aren’t much different in this universe either. It’s sad
This is good… “Being territorial should not be confused with real feelings”
You're absolutely right!
So true! I went through this recently. This guy was just a client who turned into a friend but he treated me really well….I mean great. We started hanging out as friends. Then he started taking me out for dinner all the time and other fun things..and buying me extravagant gifts…spending big money…and I was like,”hey what’s going on here”???
Then one day he said he was very sexually attracted to me…but I told him I didn’t want to sleep with a guy in the path to nowhere,(because he had already mentioned that he didn’t want a relationship or to ever marry again)…ironically he was crazy jealous and got toxic if I hung out with other guys. I never slept with him because I saw red flags and when I wanted to talk about it he was always unwilling to have a conversation. The weird part is that he spoiled me like crazy! He must have spent a hundred thousand dollars taking me out and buying me fancy things BUT he had a lot of red flags so it ended. It ended because I said I wanted to be with a guy who wants a real relationship and I definitely do NOT do FWB …so he got mad that I wouldn’t have sex with him so he sneaked off to sleep with some easy chic and tried to keep it secret but I saw the signs and our time ended. He still says hello sometimes but I don’t care how nice or rich or whatever a man is if he’s just trying to play me. At least I didn’t give it up and I stuck to my standards so I didn’t get too hurt. I want somebody who’s ready for what I need and wants to take the right steps to get there. So many players out there. I’m glad for these videos that help us navigate past all the bs! Thank you.
Remarriage while the first spouse is living is a sin. So you dodged a bullet. Never date anyones husband (divorce is a sin, once married you’re bound til death) or baby daddy (if you’re childless).
My friend was in a situation with an ex who was very generous to her but he used it for control . Got violent when she didn't want to accept side chicks 😳
I’m so glad you didnt ignore the signs!!! God bless
You really ought to return all gifts that you still have, such as material things - or it will seem as if you can be bought. Even to yourself it will feel like that.
Wrong. The putting out of a woman WITHOUT A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE is a sin in the Bible.
Being fat is also a sin. And all sin is the same.
Focus on the log in your own eye before you focus on the speck in someone else's eye, and don't be a judgemental Pharisee.
Men do not deserve the relationship/gf benefits without actually committing to being a your bf/partner, not ok. Please girls don’t put yourself in these situations, open the door and close it. #boybye. You deserve so much better!:). Friendzone the guy who’s not ready for a relationship, do not in anyway entertain the guy. It’s not worth it, don’t allow him to use you for his benefit. Guard your heart. The pain from this is not worth it and it can badly affect your mental health, emotional health and even physical health, it’s been scientifically proven. I myself have also learnt the hard way from being in these situations, I realised I needed to love myself more and get the heck out!:) God helped me and continues to help me heal my low self esteem and people pleasing ways and cos I know God loves me I don’t try to seek validation from men (this is still a struggle but I’m much better:) Gods love is much better than sacrificing yourself to be with a guy who is commitment phobic and not willing to step up as a man or just using you for sex and comfort. We as women deserve so much better.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks no dramas at all Stephen:) I believe this is a HUGE topic that needs to be addressed in dating culture so thank you for bringing it up. I’ve seen many women and even men cry over the wrong bf/gf as I volunteer online counselling when I can. I’ve studied christian counselling and family therapy:) I’m by no means a Psychologist or anything and it’s not my profession I just volunteer but this is a huge topic in todays hook up or dating culture.. women and men getting hurt on both sides… like emotionally damaged for years over these situations ships etc
I just wanted to finally be married and to be called a wife and a mother but yes exactly, not at this expense! Not this way!
Okay but tell me why men come into a woman’s life knowing he’s not ready to love her??!! It’s so selfish to lead someone on for your benefit. I don’t get it..cause sometimes they won’t say they’re not ready they’ll just string you along until they have no more use of you and call the woman the crazy one when he wanted her first!
It isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏
Exactly I went through this I was minding my business and he came texting me even after I left him on seen knew I wanted a relationship knew I liked him and still wasted my time that’s why today I am how I am and kinda scared to date cause I’m scared it will happened again I went through hell with that guy
Because you’re either a place holder OR a booty call.
It's up to you to use discernment, common sense, and ask the right questions. If his words and actions don't align, cut him loose. Ask the hard questions upfront like "what are you looking for?" And if he says one thing, but behaves the other way - welp..there goes your answer!
It sucks but that's the game you are in. The only option is to get better at the game. There are women winning everyday. Become one of them. Its easy to do you just have to work hard at it
Wow! 🥺🙊
This is so true for us women. We will just sit at a table where love is no longer being served, forgetting that we're naturally emotional beings. We always catch feelings and end up hurt , broken and bitter in the end. The next genuine relationship may suffer as a result. Self sabotage.
"The more you invest in this BS situation, the harder it is to come out." Stephan Speaks
Thank you 🙂❤
I'm happy this has been helpful to you ❤ 🙏
It's for the men too
Listening to this makes me realize so many things... Then I regret so much accepting certain things that I had accepted back then. Attachment is indeed the very strong feeling that has held me back now I am embracing my healing process and I can definitely see the growth.
I'm a communicator. I've made mistakes where I gave WIFE benefits to a BOYFRIEND/SEXUAL ACQUAINTANCE. I've learned to make communication a priority. For me, discussing where we are after 3-6 months and if we would like to go further. I allow him to determine that once I make my desires known.
Communication is definitely key, thank you for sharing ❤
Faye, my advice is move quicker than that. If a woman isn’t asking about a relationship within 3 months of consistently dating, I assume she obviously just wants to keep it casual…
And after 6 months.. if I’m looking for something serious, you aren’t even in consideration at that point because I’m assuming I’m your backup plan
Thanks!
Well marriage isn't for everyone to fair. But make sure you are on the same understanding when you do sleep with them.
I have no problem with a long-term commitment with intimacy. Honestly I don't think I would do the marriage thing again. I'm up for a long-term commitment.
Been there and we really need to stop wasting our time with the wrong one. The one who's ready will find you in the good moment. God doesn't send confusion in our life. Take the "I don't kno" for a no!!! Men kno what they want they just need the good one to realise it.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I have someone at this moment, not wanting me to walk away and not wanting to be in a relationship. I told him, it's fine we don't have to be together but I'm moving on. This was on time bc he is being very territorial. I cut off hugs, kisses, sex....I changed my number...I mean...this is very eye opening.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
“I’m cool with going with the flow… not the hell you’re not!” That spoke to me! It’s me! 😂😂😂😂💀🤦🏾♀️
I need to speak to Stephan about my process to exit stage Rn 🤦🏾♀️
He said he was not ready for a serious relationship and just want to be friends for now. It broke my heart bc there is something really special between us. I respect his decision but I refuse to be a placeholder and nourish him back to a good place and see him find someone else bc he will be then "ready." I love myself too much to pour my love and attention in a man that does not want me for a serious commitment.
I'm so greatful for this video and I'm planning to go see you in Boston, Stephan!
This is exactly how I feel/what went down.. any updates??
Any updates on this? Super curious.
I am in this exact situation right now. He told me he's not ready for anything too serious but is saying good morning and goodnight everyday and acting like my boyfriend. It's like we're in a relationship but his initial words linger in my mind making things challenging. This video was much needed.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks well we ended it today
@@shannonfagan5104 I’m glad you ended it
Why do men stick around and still be with the woman who they aren’t ready to be in a relationship? Say they want one but feel you arnt “the one” why continue to waist time with the person then instead of finding the right one? Don’t get it
@@stephaniedickerson5126 I be wondering the same thing I had this happened to me
Your territorial comment is one of the most brutally honest comments I have ever heard on social media. You are right that too many men like women to be around but not fully commit or marry them.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Yes but some women are chosen and married from that process. They say no woman wants a man other woman don't want. Better to be picked out of a large pool as the wife than be his only option. If only you want him then he may not be the one.
I am so drained..basically FWB for 1 year and 2 months...I finally let go one month strong. Working on myself and becoming the better version of me.
Thank for bringing light to this situation. A lot of us woman are dealing with this and you confirmed everything I knew inside. Keep spreading your wisdom. We Appreciate you!❤
Glad I could help 🙏
This was very helpful, I appreciate you.
I just divorce my husband after 11/2, finding out he was having sex with his MALE FRIEND, WHO IS IS BOYFRIEND. YUPPP I SOLD EVERYTHING AND GAVE him what he came into my life with, t-shirts, socks and underwear. I had purchased him a truck and Lexus and when I seen the truth, I SOLD IT ALL
1 -1/2 year
My truth. I have to walk away all im doing is hurting myself. Thanks for your wisdom and knowledge
My pleasure ❤
I appreciate you so much. I was dealing with someone treating me as a back burner so I held him accountable. I told him that I respect his choice to be friends, but I will not entertain him playing relationship games with me. He was giving me very little effort, no time and just enough attention to keep me hanging on a string as his backup plan. Because of you, I addressed it and told him that I recognize what he is doing and that I will no longer entertain this behavior because he is not pouring nothing into my life and I don’t need to be pacified. It was so liberating to state my worth and that I not willing to settle for this behavior. He called and said he hears me and understand. I told him that most women would settle for this, but I require more from a friend or relationship. Thank you Stephan. I told him I prefer he go figure things and call me at that point.👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾
Glad I could help!
Omg..you said right on point cause I was going through the same thing with this guy who I thought things were going somewhere come to find out it was all talk....
This is exactly what I did days ago even before stumbling on thos video. This video was made for me. From start to finish. It's well.
This is another amazing and real topic! I’ve been guilty of this for sure. We can’t deceive ourselves to think that we can get this guy to want to be ready for a relationship with us. We have to keep it 💯 with ourselves and know that if he doesn’t want a relationship but he wants to get all of relationship benefits, we have to respect ourselves enough to speak up for ourselves and say, you get relationship benefits when we’re in a relationship and not before!
Women, you deserve better, you need to really know what you truly want in a relationship, and once you have that all mapped out…
it becomes a lot easier to weed out the men that do not fit the criteria you’re looking for.
This way, you’re not wasting your time with men who are not ready for a relationship.
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 I couldn’t agree more! To add to that it’s not only knowing what we want but making sure we set our standards at the very beginning.
Exactly
@@ericajanellelifecoaching You’re exactly right! That way he knows where he stands with you. Lol
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I've been there. I had to WALK AWAY!!!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Outstanding advice!
Some men just want to have fun, so they usually take the path of least resistance. Most of the time, they will do/say whatever they feel is necessary to maintain their level of peace.
Absolutely!
Or to get their selfish desires met....
"Take that as an opportunity to exit stage left, and get on the path to receiving what's truly best for you, and what you actually want in life." ❤️ 🚶🏾♀️👏🏽 Thanks again Stephan...☺️
He doesn't want you but still wants some of your energy.
Absolutely!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks ❤
and that's the toxicity
Or for an ego boost.
Its giving enegy vampire 🦇😮
Your timing is always on point lol
lol, 🙂 thank you.
You're so right
I was literally about to comment this because facts
This is so needed and right on time ⏲
Man what😩 literally perfect
Great advice Stephan!
Women, you deserve better, you need to really know what you truly want in a relationship, and once you have that all mapped out…
it becomes a lot easier to weed out the men that do not fit the criteria you’re looking for.
This way, you’re not wasting your time with men who are not ready for a relationship.
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks No problem! Anytime.
All I will say ladies is MEN KNOW listen too them
1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.)
2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one.
3. Don’t give easy access. Access to your energy should be expensive.
4. Do NOT only EXPRESS your boundaries. YOU MUST show them.
5. Always be ready to walk away.
6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words.
7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism.
8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed.
9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, does not EVER chase a man.
Giving the same energy that you're getting
is key
and if you don't like that energy
then move on! NOW!
It can be hard
but that's when you need to choose yourself
over the damn illusion/fantasy.
A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period.
So...
If he ignores me
I will step back
and he will lose me.
Simple. Simple.
Non-dramatic
and uncomplicated.
I don’t,
under any circumstance:
play these childish-abusive-controlling
mind games.
I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me,
and treats me as the Queen, I AM.
(Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!)
Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine
and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman:
who knows my worth.
Period.
Also,
We create each moment.
This moment contains,
through my focus,
both positive and negative...
I can put my attention on what I lack,
what I don't have,
what traumas I do have etc...
And,
I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW,
the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have...
(You get my idea!)
Both are here...
And now.
For the sake of fairness,
I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment
if/when they come/arise,
AND
also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW.
Pain? Yes.
Suffering? Indeed.
And,
also:
wonderous magical divine beauty.
Blessings to you!
This entire video is a gem. Straight forward and really gives cause and effect....glad i could watch. I will tell you this though. Ready or not, its solo season 4 me 🙌🏾 ....Whomever Jesus direct my way The spirit will let me know. Alot i learn this year was exhausting and If imma be tired I want it to payoff with results not insults...Solo is my name until......🙏🏾.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤
Well, I… don’t do casual sex only relationships. I’m either getting to know someone to move forward toward a future… Or we’re cutting ties. I am perfectly happy being alone…. No one ever died from not having sex! 😏
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
Vibrators do an awesome job for the solo ones
Exactly 💯
This hits right at the time I need it to heal on point with me parting with my “friend of almost 2 years with husband benefits “
I'm happy this has been helpful to you!
Lordt why do we women care so much... Why can't we be numb like men. I'm tiiiirrrrrreeeeeedddd.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Thank you for this Stephan. I’ve been thinking for a few weeks now if I’m happy in my ‘situationship’ and I think Its time to face my thruth, set my boundaries with the man I am seeing and do whats best for me. I’ve been doing this mistake over and over and I feel like I deserve someone that will be on the same page as me.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏 ❤️
Love everything about this video. The problem comes in when they are so selfish that they can't be honest about not being ready for a relationship. He came in "ready" yet along the way I had to figure out that in reality he was not ready. Just be honest.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Yea but I always ask is that so they want one but then as time goes they don’t feel we are the right one for them and they just then continue doing what they do but not ending it or giving there all?
@@stephaniedickerson5126I completely coming where you coming from, I entered a relationship with a good man but his actions and values didn’t match and i could intuitively felt like that wasn’t his all , we can only allow what we can take and what’s best for us ,so I definitely exited the stage left because as women we deserve some one who wants to lead not someone who you have to push like a child.
Yes, and Yes. It was tough, we were just chill. Then we became playmates but when we were at the cross road to compromise, it was curtains. I am grateful to have retained my dignity. I'm bleeding out but not looking back.
I relate to this personally. He said I just want to focus on work, school, getting his life together! I am not ready for a relationship, but I love having you around and I fall into the trap smh.. I know what I want but I am so comfortable with him it scares me to start over with someone new!!
I feel you it definitely isn't an easy situation but you need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏
I’m in the same situation. I’m going to focus on myself from now on.
If you are not comfortable in a situationship than rethink it. I was just in one as I we both liked each other, good times but how he felt bout a pal was the ending of the situation. Reason why I had always said no I wont be ur gf as we needed to get to know each other more. I never was in a relationship as its alot of talk but no action. Not sure how that works with some. The situation I wanted to eventually travel, go try diff places locally to eat and all. Somethings are nice to do with someone. It is hard to start new with someone.
Girl it’s BS I had this guy tell me this honestly it has nothing to do with a relationship cause there’s people everyday that have more on their plate and are in a relationship ( even married) it’s an excuse I fell for this but the guy lied and waited to tell me this when the 4th month came he was full of it cause in the beginning he agreed to a relationship than he lied and try to say he never said that and made excuses
Give him space but not only that. Withdraw drastically but not entirely. When he feels what he's missing then he'll make a decision one way or another and then you'll know.
Always on point sir! Learned this the hard way, started focusing on developing a closer relationship with the Most High, fasting, not entertaining even the idea of dating, just working on improving myself fully and my eyes have opened up more. We must keep our chastity, fight to keep it, men and women especially with all of this corrupt music, TV shows, etc that bombards us spiritually mentally emotionally and physically. We are human beings and we desire/need love companionship etc. But most of all we need our Lord. We must consistently ask Him for right guidance, forgiveness and help. And we have to put in the work. People come and go, people come, leave then come back and very few stay. The ones that never come back came to teach us, and the ones that stay, we must pay attention. Keep your legs closed Queens. Let him explore your heart, mind, character, what makes you you. Don't let me talk your panties off. He got you flowers, he opens doors, he takes you out, he makes you laugh, he helps you, KEEP LETTING HIM BUT NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PRECIOUS TREASURE! You will know by what he shows you. And how he treats you is how he feels about you. You let him lead. Be consistent in prayer and protecting your heart and safe gaurd your chastity. Sex is very powerful, very beautiful, extremely sacred and our spouses are the only ones that should be getting it. Thank you for this message and reminder Stephan. May the Most High bless and guide us all Ameen.
This would fix the entire dating mess. It would hold men to a higher standard of behavior and keep women from getting used.
Thank you so much for this video. I've listened to it several times trying to find the strength to walk away from a situationship that Ive been in for 18 months. I thought I could handle it but I got caught up and he has made it known to me that he absolutely under no circumstances want to be in a relationship with me. It's hard to walk away, but I know I have to because he only want to be friends and chill with me when he want. I love "Me" better than that.😢
🙏 I hope you reach the point of truly doing what is best.
this video saved me I've told myself this for months now all I have to do is execute....I believe the women here knew this already as well. like always we look for confirmation especially if it's not coming from the person we need it from. THANK YOU wholeheartedly 🦋
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
💯💯‼️‼️
This video is one of the most beautiful, respectful and honest opinions. The difference between users and genuine men is super clear now.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
GOD KNEW I needed this video. Thank you so much. The clarity and confirmation this has brought me has likely saved me from heart break and a bad situation. God bless you!
❤ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well!
yesssss 🙌🏾
Whew! This is a powerful message! 15 years on and off! I wasted a lot of time! But lesson learned! I said no! I won’t go back, I can’t go back! I GOT OUT! I will wait for the right one! ‼️‼️‼️
Bruh man, action speak louder than words, you are dead on, jealousy doesn't equate to a relationship, it is about control, having my cake and eat it too, and you are not getting a slice of it either or neither, he just want to hold on to you as an "in case" but don't want to commit to you but you BET not go "no where" with anyone else, oh father.. friend, oh, okay... cookie time
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Truth.. I keep going through this, the last question hit the nail right on the head! Went from a relationship to nothing, to friends, to fwb, to nothing, etc. it’s a vicious cycle. Only this time I hear. “This is why I’m single”. Or, “This is why I’m staying single”. Do you bro. Cuz that’s what I’m gonna do! ✌🏻 Ty Stephan ❤️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I'm going through this right now... just what I needed.
Glad I could help 🙏
@Nautahsha Simms set boundaries. And be the strong one
@Nautahsha Simms you are worth it. ❤️. I'm sure you've learned from what happened. You have 2 choices. Wallow in the pain or become a better version of you. What do you chose?
I made sure to get "He’s Lying Sis” And I love that it’s in audiobook, so I can learn to grasp and strive to embrace this same energy. My heart is stubborn and often not prepared for the ugly, hurtful truth..being honest with the situations I find myself in are becoming more easy to understand. This topic/post is 100% of what I need to hear. I have a lump in throat the entire time-yes, but I got to hear this.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Stephan -- You're the BEST1. This video is excellent and covers everything we need to know. Your videos always give a balanced perspective. So often we women want a "relationship" with a man at any cost. A good man knows himself and will bond with the right woman who fits with him. He doesn't play games... Your advice is always on point!
❤ 🙂 Thank you very much, I appreciate your feedback!
Thank you for this. No longer dealing but dealt with this 5yrs. Was so confused with him. I'm 100% happy and free.
Thanks so much for this video! I know I'm not going to settle for less than I know my worth! We as women are more emotional than men. We need to make sure we are working towards healthy relationships if that's what we want. Always make the right choice FOR YOU! 💯💜👑
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you for sharing your honest opinions and giving us the real from a man's perspective King 👑 💜
Very interesting discussion! I would love to hear your take on this story:
I was dating a guy once who told me that he knew I was the person he wanted to marry, but he wasn't ready. He also said that he wanted to be able to fool around with other women but the thought of me fooling around with another guy drove him crazy-- his words. I told him that while I appreciated his honesty, my self worth would never allow me to be in a relationship that had two different sets of rules/rights. I told him that maybe we should break up and take our chances at finding each other again when we were ready. He didn't like that. Nothing else was said.
A few weeks later, I saw him holding hands with another woman. I sent him a letter and broke up and never saw him again. Never had any further discussions about it with him.
He ended up marrying that woman several years later. They are now divorced ( she filed). Before they got married, he would always mention my name to people he met who were from my hometown community or college and say how great I am. His GF ( now ex wife) would even mention me to associates and ask them details about what I was like because her BF would say that I was so perfect ( her words). Weird.
I'm not sure exactly what happened here, but I do know he ended up regretting what happened. He doesn't know that I know he went on to marry the person he cheated on me with. I don't think he realized my value at the time, but has since come to realize it. Unfortunately, it is too late because I will never be a second choice/afterthought or 'option' when something else fails-- particularly since it was someone he cheated on me with.
Ladies, be very careful with men who 'aren't ready'. They may be more ready than you think, but underestimating you as a woman/person, etc. No one should ever allow themselves to be treated as an option or second choice. NO person ( male or female) is worth your self respect and/or dignity.
The last part..that part! You are my emotionally intelligent hero ❤
Yep yep Karma is a biatchhh!
I’m literally crying this is what I need to hear I’ve been watching your other video on repeat and now I have this video. Thank you so much
My pleasure ❤
Thanks you so much
He said he has a lot on his plate right now esp his finances and still working to land a job and said maybe soon and said he misses me.. But I’m letting him go now. I believe that I will never miss what is for me. ❤ Thank you Sir Stephan for this Clarity and for teaching us how to navigate dating More power to you
I think mine was genuine. Lots of love and affection. Spent lots of time with his family. Red flags appeared. Tried to discuss he went from we can talk about anything to telling me to write them down then put them in a drawer and leave it. He kept telling me can’t we just go forward from this point forward and forget my red flags. But I couldn’t. I know these flags were a warning for me, but I didn’t leave the relationship until he ended it. Thank you for helping me understand. I never could resolve these issues with him. He couldn’t seem to answer my questions without getting angry, giving confusing answers or becoming emotional. Thanks again.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Thank you 🙏🏽 .I was in this situationship with this guy and he clearly wanted a companion and everything a relationship comes with but not not willing to give me a relationship. Glad it only lasted 3mths
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Thank you so much. I needed this because I’m stuck in a situationship I don’t know how to get out of. He’s continuously said we may or may not date “in 6 months” ..”in 12 months” and now it’s draining me. Going to end it with him when he’s back from his ski trip.
He’s successful and amazing but I know he’s keeping me around while he’s waiting for the one he wants. His loss ❤️
I'm sorry to hear about that I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best 🙏
His ski trip of "their" ski trip 👀👀👀👀
Nope dump him NOW I’m telling you it’s gonna hurt more if he ends it before you so you need to do it now it will soften the blow a bit
Came at the right time, he told me a while after that he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he didn’t want the previous pain of his relationship to be brought on to me and that he needed time to be alone… we were on the same page.. it hurt to do the right thing cause it truly felt like the ONE.. and maybe that def needs time and space so I haven’t texted him since.
He wanted to separate his feelings of feeling alone, after a divorce from his emotions for me. In my heart.. I feel he just isn’t lying, and there’s a need to be patient in general. Not just for him but for myself. He even told me what to expect, but I never asked any of these important questions, I should’ve.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I feel you on this. I am going through this exact thing!! We met, the chemistry and connection is there, but he ghosted me for 7mos to care for the ex wife who was battling cancer. He texted me and asked to call me. I obliged bc I needed an explanation for this disappearance. And that's what I was told. I asked him, so what us it that you want from me and for us? He said he wanted us to move forward from where we left off and the biggest thing is, he didn't want me to hate him. We have never been intimate and I was firm in my stance that ,unless I'm in an exclusively committed relationship, will I be intimate. He has always understood that and there's been no pressure. So we met and he apologized genuinely and said he'd never hurt me or disappoint me again; however, 3 mos later, he texts and say, he need more time to work things through, bc he's going through things with the job and he now has his 6 year old daily and on weekends. I basically told him, handle your business; I'm going to step aside and continue dating others, bc my heart will remain open to receive all of the love that I unselfishly pour into others......
I laugh a lot watching your videos Stephan and I appreciate you a lot for helping me get through extremely rough times 🙏🏽🙌🏽
Glad I could help 🙏
I like your straightforwardness and humor. You are always on point 🔥
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
This is so on point. I've had these feelings for someone that put me in the friendzone. Really hard for me to get over cause i feel they are my soulmate. Ive decided to distance myself. I want his heart not a non-commitment sexual relationship. So I feel crazy cause we haven't had sex and I feel so strongly about him. Thank you for this video....You are so on point.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
I am going through the same thing.
Being soulmates is a two- way street though. His being your soulmate, but your not being his is not going to work.
Same
@@atlantasfaithsmom so true🎯 I too got 💔 for the 2nd time by the SAME PERSON😭 This video is so on point! I messed up because I let a so called man tell & show me he dont want more than ONCE🤦🏽♀️ #SillyOfMe
Because someone desires or say they care doesn't mean that they respect or are ready to be the person you want them to be towards you.
Believe a man when he tells you something. This is greatest lesson I've learnt from men. They talk so listen!
Indeed, it really helps when women embrace that. Thank you for sharing ❤
I like this very much. But I'm not ready for a relationship either. We enjoy each other's company. A relationship is a lot of commitment and dedication.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
We are in our mid 60's. Dating four months. I love our connection. I told him that I love him, for being a good man. I clarified I'm not in love with him after 4 months. He agreed, he's not in love with me. We are exclusive, and he claims me as his girlfriend. He says I'm perfect for him. He's been married twice, and says he would do it again. I would like to get married again, and I can see myself being married to him. I plan on giving this a year, and pay attention to see if his feelings deepen, if not. Then I will move on...
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I'd like to book a session with you! What do I need to do?
Territorial and possessive! Yes! I’ve told him that I don’t want a relationship with anyone but he still acts like he owns me!
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
Excellent explanation, clarity is very important and if you don’t receive it my advice is to move on. Every one should know what they want and if you’re still undecided and you’re 30 years old or older that’s a red flag 🚩. Be clear or be out ✌️✌️✌️!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
This is definitely a red flag video to not waste your time or give to much to get nothing!! Thanks Stephen!!! 😁
❤ 🙂 Thank you I appreciate our feedback!
Thank you for bringing clarity to the issue of men not wanting to commit. I now know what to watch out for. My time and energy is valuable i can't afford to waste it on a man's insecurity. Thanks again.💕
I'm happy this has been helpful to you.
Dealt with this before. Learned that they just want the freebies of a relationship without the commitment or work. I learned to take the hint and drop them
I met a guy four months ago, made everything possible for us to meet at least once so that I could ask him what he truly wanted. He told me repeatedly on three different occasions; he wasn't ready; he needed us to see a couple of extra times before he could make up his mind. The third time I was out.
For me, I am not about to wait around and put my life on hold for some Indecisive guy. I have a lot to focus on and a life to live and develop. We are still friends, but I will not invest energy and emotions towards him any longer.
One thing I have learnt over the years is to never think for a man or play the game of “ what ifs.” Every man knows what they want, and they always go for it once they see it.
Most times, we ladies let our emotions cloud our sense of judgement. It is crucial to learn not to always be in your feelings. Thank God, these days, I know how to control my emotions in every way possible.
Thank you, Stephen, for the good work and the wisdom you share. God bless you!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
I needed this video. I can't handle just being his friend for my mental state. Taking the first step by blocking him number. He probably wouldn't care if I stop reaching out to him.
I love this man no lie he’s here to help us to understand and this is a sign
The last relationship category I was in, that relationship was so damaging to my soul. Once I found out he was married I ended it 🙂
Walk away when he say he doesn't want a relationship. No benefits! No nothing! Walk away!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Not true. Gotta learn the game Sandra
@@connectperfectly the game? Lol. What's the game in your opinion.
@@puertoricanprincess2272 Women have the power of seduction built right in but either don't know how to use it or are too lazy to do so. We will talk about it in the next few episodes. follow the channel and find us on ig under the same name.
It’s so great that Stephan can say things to women that are so hard for them to hear or that others would never tell them, like men handcuffing them but knowing they will never want to be with you.
Dear Stephan, thank you so much for these educational videos. I’m in the middle of watching this video, and i truly appreciate how you try to not insult anyone watching. This is a very aspiring and healthy advice, it’s truly inspirational how you’re so connected to your own feelings and how aware you are of other people’s emotions. I genuinely enjoy watching your videos, your vibes are so beautiful, your humour is exceptional and non-offending or shaming, and thank you so much again for being such an inspiring individual. Sending so much love your way.
Congratulations Stephan on making it to 1 million or more subscribers🎈🎊🎉🍾
Men tend to be more logical and realistic than we are, so if he tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, just understand that there's a reason. For alot of these guys these days, financial struggles are just one major reason for their decision not to settle down, but they will never actually tell you that. For others, they simply want to be detached and there's nothing wrong with that either, but honesty is the best policy when it comes to dating and relationships of any kind.
Thank you Stephan for being honest & open when a man is not ready for a relationship. Every woman deserves an awesome partner who loves her. All women should see this video & apply what applies to her. Thank You for your Powerful messages. 🤗🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️ GOD BLESS
So powerful. Compromise our true desire to suffice wanting to be with someone.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
If a man said, "I just want to be friends" and then asks you to give him wifey benefits.... He is not worth your time. Walk away as fast as possible. Leave him and let the door slam behind you. You are not a toy to be played with. He does not respect you. These are the kinds that will be cheating.
Having your heart torn apart can hurt. Thank you for your eye opening and insightful advice! It's just so comforting to get this kind of perspective from a relationship coach - I'm going to listen on repeat this week!
I want to thank you sooo much! I am still not out of the woods yet but working on it. You have truly helped me and my current situation. I listened to your episode with Lewis Howes and from that you were like a light bulb that went off in my head. I resnote with so much of what you say. How you deliver and convey the information you share is exactly how I used to be." I still resonate so much when you had made a statement on Jay Shetty's show at one time a women gave all to her 1st love. I can remember I put my ex-husband on a pedalstool and from that point I have not been able the love as healthy as I once had and through that it has just been to levels of unhealthy that I know I don't come from. So thank you! Thank you so much!
I respect men that would actually tell me he’s not ready then for him to ghost me
I respect him and rather have him tell me*
So helpful! I like the idea of giving him time apart from me and coming back when he is ready. Stay open to the kind good guy. Don’t miss out on the opportunity when he comes back correct. 💗
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
Thank you for this video. This is what I'm going through now and hate it. He's sticking to his word and I'm stuck and hurt everyday because he's not changing either and it's been a year
Hope you find a way to let go. Best wishes.
🙏 Glad I could help!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks how can I talk to you all day. If u could answer all my questions I'll be so good
Much needed advice… this just happened to me, 3 months in a situationship, asked him where this is going, and he told me he wants to back off and be friends to get to know each other more. Told him I don’t wanna be friends and walked away. It’s so hard but I think I did the right thing for myself