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"You can't scare off the right guy. If you say to him "my boat is leaving", and he's not willing to fight for that relationship, then he's not the right guy to begin with." Thank you, Mathew!
This is almost identical advice to what Matthew Hussey says you should say..."Seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while...and I want your happiness more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy...So I feel like you need to go and be alone, in order to figure out what you want. And I hope that I'm here, or I'm still here, when you're ready....but until then, I need I know someone who is completely "in" because I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't 100% about wanting to be with me. "
I had a friends with benefits situation in college because I was very physically attracted to this guy and he told me he was too busy + too hurt from a previous relationship (he attempted to commit suicide when he and his ex broke up). At the time I didn't realize how much I already liked him and thought I was just lusting after him so I agreed to the fwb arrangement. We didn't set clear terms and in my mind, he was more of a boyfriend than a fwb. Later I was too hurt because he was doing a fwb and I was falling in love so I basically told him I am walking away. He agreed to make some changes to give me more time/devotion but to still keep a fwb. So I told him how my emotions towards him were no longer suitable for a fwb and was very firm in ending things. He tried to save the "relationship" a bit but eventually gave up. He tried to start things back up on a few occasions in the following months but I could tell he still didn't want a relationship and I was too hurt to try fwb with him again. Finally when I was already dating my now husband he tried to contact me to pick me up for a "real" date and seemed very serious about a relationship. Since he didn't keep in contact all the time and I didn't post my relationship on social media, he didn't know I already moved on. He called to say "I want to hear your voice again and I can come over to pick you up any time you want this weekend or the next". My response to him was "Sorry but I already planned something with my boyfriend." When he finally wanted a relationship with me, it was 2 years after I ended things with him. I think walking away from a guy who's not looking for the same thing you are looking for is the best solution. It's not that you are not an amazing person but that person may not be at the same page of their life. Rather than waiting around, find your happiness with someone else :) I think it's possible that this guy and I could've worked out in the end but I wasn't about to wait around for 2 years to find out. Not to mention, I'm already happily married to my now husband of six years that I would've missed if I was wasting my time on that guy. Like what Mat is saying, keep sailing your boat, with or without him.
I don't think that you can have a serious relationship that will last if it's based on fear and possessivity. If a guy doesn't want a relationship it means that he's not in love with you. Move on or accept it, but if he just takes you because he's afraid to leave you, it will last like this the whole relationship. That's my opinion ! Maybe I'm wrong, but I experienced it
Hi Matt and an amazing video I thank you for it. You once talked about how if a guy is not interested in a relationship then she has to move on and put up standard that he needs to be there in all the time. If she is not over yet, not certain to move on how to convince her with the right thing to do
Well in my experience, the guy decided to make a commitment with me (including marriage) when i made it clear I wasn't going to be exclusive and he wouldn't get any sex before that. So sad.
I have dated a man in 5 months I knew him he is very quiet,, in the beginning He told me that he is not able to commit a relationship bcuz of his past relationship,, we continue dating and I am slowly fall in love with him,, but he cares all about me, I don't know if he has feelings for me or not , we had argue one time and I was really hurts,, and all abt my feelings to him I talked to him ,, missing him and love him but he was just answered me ( I told u from the beginning I don't want to be responsible to someone heart) 😔 🙏💔
He doesn’t want a relationship... but he doesn’t want me out of his life...so he wants friendship...which pisses me off...and when I disappear he sends msgs”you okay” and I say yeah “ just busy”...how do I end a friendship without sounding bitter?
Yes i was back with me as for 7 weeks and i walked into hes house and he was drinking with a girl all night said nothing happened and i said why u with me and he said im not with u o only ask u over for our son..And yet he rings me ask me over for dinner i was so humiliated and so hurt and i stupidly had sex with him.buut my boundaries are up and i dont know why he behaved like that as im st ill confused.
cesar I think he has fear of me hurting him...but I would never. I just wanna be loved consistently by one person who only wants me. And I was consistent sex dammit! I deserve it! Ok sorry lol
This isnt mind games, this is pure honesty this isnt a guide on how to force a man to be with you, its to judge whether this person or not wants what you want or whether its a waste of time
Hes the one playing mind games he said he just wanted to be friends and then he said he also likes me alot so I respected him I just flirted a little I've stopped caring for alot of things lately and now he's just flirting with me and hinting and its annoying
If he doesn’t want a relationship, or if he’s leaving you hanging, ditch him. I just did this literally an hour ago with someone who was giving extreme mixed signals. Sucks. But I couldn’t deal with and wondering anymore.
Put the man back in the friendship list and start dating other men. I wouldn’t explain anything to him I would just start dating men with the same as I want. Don’t shed a tear. I don’t have time for men like this. Move on.
Lenore your so right I'm not saying nothing guys knows.. girl I'm seeing two guys. My options are open. I'm having fun. But I see what I see not what I want to see. Action speak louder than words
Yeah I have reserved this dude to be friends with me and he knows that. He knows I’m dating other guys. or trying to. But last night I took a pic of myself and he said “my arms should be wrapped around you” I was like “if you’re dating me they could be” 😂😆
@@mecca115able I am dating two guys as well. And I am 53. I was thinking to talk to one of them, the one I am dating for four years, but decided that this is none of his business. I did put him into friend zone though and he got upset but no major decision of his part yet. Now I want to keep them both 😂 because the new guy is wonderful but on a different level. Time will tell who is the right one.. I decided to play waiting game for now and not to force anyone..
If he tells you that he doesn't want a relationship and you continue speaking with him he may believe that you were warned and you still want to continue with him with the situation that there is
I learnt that the hard way stuck around for 2yrs, him telling me his sorting out his life. I couldn't do it anymore it's been 3months since I walked away I feel good😁
I don't want anyone to choose me because of their fear of me being with someone else. I want someone to choose me because they are sure about their love for me. Otherwise, the relationship could be an unhealthy jealousy/possession/codependency game.
You are thinking like a woman, he is not a woman. Men see and think different, may not make sense to you, but does to him. Women of today get way too frustrated because they dont got the fact men think completely in a different direction than them, and they are expecting he treated you like your girl friends and guy friends do
2 months ago.. I declared ny love to him.. He said not ready for a relationship.. I disappeared without even explaining myself. I think he got the message.. I know i will find the right one soon ❤️
I did exactly what you said BEFORE this video - I was pretty proud of myself! It didn’t hurt and the sky didn’t fall and he didn’t choose me. But all that is ok because I am so worthy of the best possible relationship! Good to know I’m making some better choices all on my own - but I do so love your tips!!! Thank you!
I’m going though something like this rn my bf for a year dumped me last night he wants to stay friends for rn after I used this on him so idk if it worked or not 100% he knows I support him and will always be hear for him
@@03081416 I finally said to him that I wanted the best for him and I will be just his friend but that I needed to move on . I looked at him differently someone that had a fear of Vulnerability limited in having a relationship . I said to myself God I can’t fix this you deal with it I’m not going to anymore and it’s quite strange when I finally let go of it and forgave I was able to move on myself
And I'll tell u y not... Becuz the second u do that... they (the guys) lose the feeling or the need for a challenge leaving u feeling used up and drained out and they lose the urge to fight for ur approval... U, ladies, are princesses and queens... U have the power to rule them all... in ways u can't even begin to fathom... U r more powerful than u know!
Just went through this. We were only dating about 7/8 weeks but He was being hot and cold and I started to feel confused and his effort fell off, so I said “ I enjoy spending time with you but before this goes any further I want to make sure we’re on the same page. At this moment what is it that your looking for?” He said he don’t know. ( scared etc) I told him “ It’s ok, take your time, when you decide what you want let me know and if I’m not seeing someone by then maybe we can try again” ... Mic drop 🎤 I am a little disappointed because he’s a great guy and I do like him. But I know it’s not fair to stick around. Will he come back? Who knows, but willing to walk away is better than devaluing yourself.
Amazing advice Matt! I told the guy I’m dating this, I didn’t use these amazing words though, but along the same lines and I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. I was freaking out but now thanks to your advice, I realize what I did was right. I feel so empowered and a relationship should flow and come easy. Wow! Thank you! Blessings to you and your wife.
Live by If u love something let it go. If it loves you it will come back. If it doesnt it was never yours. U go into a relatipnship, friendship, or business with thos attitude. U r neither needy or pushy. Those vibes r felt and fpr some reason u only attract love. Its worked all my life. Hard to let go But this filtering is a machine.
And if the two people think like this, it will never happen. Because both will let go. I think it's best to be assertive and express yourself. But let go when feelings are not mutual.
@@MsLovication I agree with you. my boyfriend and I were in our relationship for 1year and 8 month. he told me at first he can not get married because poor girl who bear his behavior . recently I told him If his decision about getting married has not changed yet I think our relationship is over because I would like to get married and if he stays in my life I can not consider other boys. and he told me He can not get married totally.
This is basically an ultimatum phrased nicely. Unfortunately I've seen a third scenario the most. The guy agrees to move forward but deep down he's resentful and the woman never feels secure with him because she knows she forced him to choose and it creates a bad unhappy energy, and the woman is usually chasing him because he's not committed 100%.
That is a good point..about it essentially being an ultimatum. I know that a lot of men (and people in general) will immediately be put off by that and it won't work in your favor.. but there has to be a way around that.
Hahahaha you never can force a man to do anything! Again a women thinking does not translate to a men thinking, I pressured my husband to married me otherwise I left and go to look for what I want, he committed and married me, he said it was the best decision he ever made! Nobody resents anything, if the man finally decided to married you deep down he really loves you and don’t want to loose you, but his insecurities to move forward paralízale him.
@@MoonSunflower111 Exactly why I'm waiting until marriage. You would be amazed how quickly it weeds out the wrong guys. 99.99% of guys who approach you only want sex from you.
"You can't scare off the right guy. If you say to him "my boat is leaving", and he's not willing to fight for that relationship, then he's not the right guy to begin with." Love love love this
I was dating a guy, I met his family, he met my daughter and we we’re brilliant together. The foundation of friendship and love was being formed and “boom” he ended it. I didn’t beg him back, I said “I respect your thoughts, I’m looking for a man who wants a relationship thus building a future with me & my daughter.” - then I went no contact, two days later he reached out proposing “friendship” I said no, I stated again, I want a relationship and a future with someone. This time I took him off my social media (no blocking) just removing him as a “friend,” and removed his relatives of my social media as well. I’ve been devastated, but I don’t want to be somewhere where I’m not wanted. I feel better removing him off social media, as I know he was spying on me. What’s the point of being with someone if we don’t want the same things 😞
Great tips! I’m okay ... I’m awesome. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Why would anyone want that? Anxiety definitely is the male motivator 😂🤣!! Be respectful, wish him well, be a friend, most of all respect yourself.
If he doesn't wanna have a relationship the best thing u can do is to leave him. He doesn't want a committed deep relationship move on and find someone does
my boyfriend started seeing me as a friend, and i did exactly this. Its about a week ago we parted ways, and i honestly do not care if we will ever get back together again or if we dont. I know my worth and I know I will find someone just as amazing as him:)) know your worth!!
That's exactly what i did! We have known each other forever.We we're friends/lovers years ago and after all this time of drifting apart he came back all by himself.Finally we are moving in together and are engaged to be married next year.
Women tend to mistake "chemistry." Men are different. We can hangout, and have fun. It may appear like it's "chemistry," although it's unnecessarily sexual or romantic attraction.
Wow, thank you Matt. This video really spoke to me and helped me know that I made the right decision in standing up for myself and knowing my self worth. This video came at the perfect time.
This is actually me..he said he wanted a serious relationship since the start but when I noticed mixed signals I asked why he was flakey and he said he likes me but can’t commit properly as his previous relationship ended not long ago. The point is he was the one telling me that previous relationship was fully finished and was looking for a serious one and told me multiple times he wanted me to be his girlfriend..but in the end he said clearly he is not ready. So why dating when you are not ready and make me like him? I feel like that is cruel! He never said he wanted something casual but I am glad I asked him after only two wonderful dates and two months of texting because I started liking him more and I respect myself and I wanted to know if he had the same intentions and continue dating with me..
I was seeing this guy for a month or two and I really like him, we have great chemistry but he is away all the time. I message him and told him that " I really like him and I wanna get to know him better and that I wanna know if he feels the same or there is a hope of us moving forward? If not then I wanna know as I don't want to expect anything". He then respond saying he had a great time with me, that he will be busy for the next few months and he can't give me what I want right now. So I responded " thank you for being so honest, I had great time being with you . I wish you well. He has a follow message but I did not respond as I am hurt. Did I do the right thing? I am moving on but there is still a little hope that he will come back in the future.
I'm a guy and wanted to see whats your advices for girls,women etc. This is what people need to do, either being a guy or a girl, respect their path but you NEED to follow your own, dont let people to controll your life, awesome video, Mat!
@Mathew Boggs: Although this may be true for some men, most men who want a female will go get that female. If a man is shopping, going on hikes, or whatever, he's not that into you. Or he has issues he needs to work on. Or maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's content being a perpetual bachelor. "Fear of loss" is usually temporary. If it worked for you with your wife, that's great, but I think you are the exception.
Hi Matt, this is exactly the message I need. I had that conversation & separated myself from my ex but he keeps initiating contact & holding on. I will not get back with him until he can confirm he wants a relationship with me. I have to show I’m serious or he will work his way back in. I hope he steps up to the plate, if not I’m off in the boat to my destiny and he knows it.
This is why I refuse to date ever again. I have neither the time nor the patience to play games with anyone. It's either a yes or a no. I don't have any time for "maybe, we will see, let's see how it goes, let's go with the flow" All of that is a complete no for me.
I’m so happy this video showed up. I was recently seeing a guy and I asked him about where we were going. He was honest that he can’t be in a relationship right now due to him constantly working and leaving for the navy soon. At first I was devastated because we had a great connection but I respected his choice and moved forward. We hooked up one last time and I asked it’s ok to see other people and he said fine. I’m happy I finally ended it with him to give myself a real chance to find the love of my life❤️
Solid Mercer ummmm I never said I was. We had a mutual agreement and I wanted make sure we were on the same page in the end. No one is making no one jealous soo I don’t know where you’re getting that from😁
Wait after boot camp and he gets to his billet or new duty station IF he contacts you again.That gives him enough time to think about you seriously and gives him an idea about his financial situation being more stable by that time. 😆 True ❤️ love knows no bounds. ~My hubby is a Navy veteran. 😊
@@nathanbeales8900 if so it was nothing wrong with that! It's called testing the water lol. Seeing if he was confused or mean what he said lol! Which led her to choosing the best decision of moving on because she was for sure she wanted his love but he couldn't give it back to her
Lol no offence but you did him a favour. Young man has his whole life ahead of him, even joined the Navy. He doesn’t need some desperate needy woman to hold him back. You’ll regret your decision lmao.
@@Dan-Martin lmao 🤣 🤣🤣🤣 you responded over a fling that happened over 2 years ago & I moved on to a happier relationship where they navy guy stalked for a year. I’m great! I’m the one whose laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 & it’s *offense haha
You Are One of the Most Amazing Love Coach in the Internet Matthew... I've heard a lot here in RUclips and read a lot of Books too but YOU are Unselfishly, AUTHENTIC, and Realistic with your approach THANK YOU IN A MILLION WAYS... So If I find my Guy soon I will come back and recommend YOU to EVERYONE!
Clear and cut. You said it. I enjoyed this video. I just had the same situation happen to me and I needed to be sure that I did and said the right thing. I respect myself and love myself enough to let him go. It's for the best. I'm not going to allow for a man to make me look desperate, needy, or clingy.
This is amazing!!!!!🌺 I just tried this last week but my mother made me feel guilty that I didn't give enough time. I thought one month of being the boat waiting in the harbor ⚓ was enough 😂
After my divorce, I took time to heal and realized I "attract what I reflect". I found my joy and happiness are found within me, not in someone else. A man does not define me or complete me. Boundaries and self love are taught in this video and it resonates with me. I am a hopeful romantic and look forward to meeting that amazing man whose core values are similar to mine. Bought the "Cracking the Man Code" and it has been an AMAZING journey of higher self awareness and insightful relationship wisdom! Bless you and yours Mat!
This is a difficult thing to do if you truly love someone but its' the best thing to do for our own peace of mind , because if the person lets' you go it will hurt but at least you will know the relationship is not going to get closer and committed. The pain will heal in time and leave you free to find the forever love you are seeking with the right person. It also will save you months of wasting time with someone who is not truly in love with you and you can heal , move on and find that special someone. A thought to keep with you is ....You can never say the wrong thing to the right person...
This is exactly what happen to me now. We have been dating for almost 8 months, but we have not progressed to a committed relationship. Seems like i will need to have this conversation very soon... Thanks! This comes to me just the right time!!! Wish me the best!
Ooh girl, I know this comment is 2 years old but you have the patience of a Saint, my last experience I have the guy 3 months of my time and I realised I had had enough of the limbo so started dating other people and told him I wanted to give him his space to find what he wanted without me in the way because I wasn't going to continue the way we were going without any commitment and it's been 3 days since he won't speak or text me. Any updates on what happened with you?
I had an experience with a guy I met in Greece. We had our first date and he told me that he is not made for relationships, that he cannot decide on which woman to stay with. I understood his belief and I told him about mine:"What I want is to get married and to have my home and family around, to take care of my husband and our house, to have lovely kids and a beautiful family life. This is what I want and what would make me really happy and I am going to have this." The same day, he asked me out again in the evening and he asked me to marry him. It was without a ring, but he was really serious. I refused him as we met just few days before and I was going out with him to meet new people because I was in vacation in Greece, I did not see him as a potential husband. This experince was interesting and I will never forget it. A high value woman has much power. 😊
A guy I met online just said this to me. Want to know what I did? Deleted him immediately and will find someone that does want me. I'm worth more than that bullshit
Why are men so basic? I would love a video on this topic. An HONEST, psychological, neurological and physiological break-down of this phenomenon. It's rampant, and I'm wondering if this is all there is? How can we move forward as a species when 40% of our members haven't evolved since the day they climbed out of their caves? How are rational, successful, and emotionally mature women supposed to desire a relationship with men when even the best among them turn out to be basic and unimpressive in a myriad of ways? Is it just me? I don't think so. I have many friends who are in "relationships" only because they are able to turn a blind eye to the annoyingly basic traits of their mates. They've learned to "put up with it," they explain. But is that really the acme of a successful relationship with a straight man? The female's ability to "put up with" his shortcomings? I'm ranting, I know, but I'd really love Mat's input on this.
This happened to me. I was with someone who didn’t want a relationship and I thought the “more time” thing would work. After 2 and a half years I finally told him he’s with me or he’s not and I was ready to get up and leave for good. He decided he was with me. We have been together ever since.
You know...what started this conversation? If he declares in any way he wants you to not see him in a mutually exclusive relationship, you can bet he has an agenda and you are expendible. Do not argue about it. Be confident enough to say, "I gotcha. I'm outta here."
This video has helped me so much thank you i got into a fwb with a male friend of 12years i didn't realize i liked him in an romantic way and i realised that i have fallen for him he has said he doesn't want a relationship and he still loves his ex but still wants to be in this fwb but was giving me mixed signals i have just text him that phrase and his response was just ok this has give me the push i needed because now i can make room for the right person to come along
This video was the best relationship advice I have ever heard. I watched alot but this takes the price. You answered all my questions in 8 minutes. Love it.
I’m a Military widow now for 4 years, was married for 29 years when he passed away. When We married I was 18, now I’m 51. I feel I want to start dating again. Just here to re- learn and gain some tips. I’m very assure of my self worth. Just needing some tips. Thank you for these videos.
Wow I recently experience this hahahahaha chills! I kinda do the same thing that you mention. I told him, the way he treated me was not the kind of relationship that I want. But the different is, I clearly told him I don't want ro be with him anymore. I told him what made me hurt so much (after he persuade me 3 times to talk things out. I am stubborn that way) And now we end things. And I know that I will and still hope that I will have the relationship that I want. But also the way that my guy wants. So we can make each other happy. It might be soon, it might not. But hey, at least I learnt something new
If you don't choose me some other guy will... You hit the nail on the head I'm going through this right now... I will get my answer tomorrow ❤️ thank you so much Matt!
Thank you for making this video. I've been fighting myself over my morals or getting the guy I want to know how great of a person I am and he'll miss out.
My boat is leaving. Well he was honest with me which I told him I appreciated it. Ya rejection stings,but I'd rather know now. I Deleted him from fb and my phone.He messaged me today said he can hang next week. NOPE,not happening. I deleted his message. ✌
He told me i cant move forward in this relationship, im not ready. I dont want to waste your time and mine. So i said ok i will leave. (It hurts so much,coz all this time he told me yes his ready) then after 4 days he msg, i reply , he wanted to talk, but then i said no im busy, he tried again after a week, so then i talk and were bsck together, but then i felt that its the same. So today im telling him, no , this is not working for me, i want a relationship thats real and ready. Its hard to let go. But i know i need to do this for myself :(
Here’s the thing. You don’t want a man who will say yes to what you want, but do it begrudgingly. I finally learned my lesson after being in the wrong relationship for far too long. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then a begrudging yes is the same as a no.
I appreciate your guidance because I had no idea what to say or how to expeess my feelings. I have been in a "relationship" over 5 years and I need to move on. I have wasted tooo much time and I am guilty for allowing it to happen. Thank you Matt; I will be using the tool you presented in this video.
If he doesn't want a relationship.... Walk away. End of problem. If you have been dating for months,then you are already in a committed relationship,if either of you are dating others at the same time then you are unfaithfull and unworthy of any relationship.
It worked in The Sound of Music. When Maria came back the captain was already engaged. He asked her, "You are going to stay aren't you?" thinking he could keep her around as governess of his children after he married the baroness (or at least until then). Of course Maria wasn't up for that. So the captain ended it with the baroness so he could marry Maria. He knew he'd lose Maria if he didn't marry her.
I made the boldest move of my life some two months ago. He was stressed about the continuation of the relationship, frustrated about all his failures and went on saying he was not sure if he could propose to you. I got so fed up with this bullshit he kept on telling me every time things got a little deep, I told him, OK, you know what, that's so fine that You can't propose to me, cos let's be honest, right now You are not in entitled to pop that question to me, You're not in a place in our relationship and in your commitment especially showing it - that I would seriously consider such an offer. Well, we observed a 5 week-long break and he realised he doesn't ever want to be apart like that, so he's fighting hard to win me back. I'm so thankful to God that He gave me the courage to do this.
I tried this because I fell inlove with a man I had been dating 6 months. He said I am just not wanting a relationship...he said maybe when I retire in 6 months?? I was upset.. I didn't say it quite right though so he probably won't get intouch.... I said I realise you do not want a relationship with me and I fully understand. I want you to be happy and I hope you find what you are looking for. I want to be in a relationship with someone whose is fully committed to. If not that would not be meeting my needs. I will have to continue dating other men because I am searching for a loving relationship. As everyone deserves to be happy. I wish you love and luck. That was 2 weeks ago... He has not been fighting to get me back yet ...😒 will get on with my life. 💟
Love, "you can't scare off the right guy". 😄 Not only is it so ridiculously obvious, but just the cold, hard, bare bones truth lol. The way you deliver your instruction is so chill that it causes me to be perfectly cool with the idea! Lol. Subscribed :) thank you!!
My boyfriend got me a birthday card an put a bigx on the girl part and he wrote haha underneath I said whats that about and he said it was a joke why bother buying the fucking card...wtf
My friend did pretty much what Matt says. Dated a guy for 3 months, moved in, lived with him for 3 months, then said that in 6 months time she sees herself in a wedding dress, and that will either be with him or with somebody else. A bit too much to push for marriage, but they are married now
Hey you're like a god sent. Every time I watch your videos it's like I have all these experiences in my relationships and u just put it in words so I can understand clearly what's going on. Thank you so much..
I just had this situation this week. I am dating a guy for almost 3 years and his keeping saying he likes me a lot but he does not want a relationship. He did not introduce me to his parents neither friends. He always gives excuses saying his has problems with them. This week I just said it was enough being treated this way. I want a relationship and being treated correctly. The opposite of him who lives with his parents I am independent and do not need to accept this treatment. He has problems to face this conversation. He said he likes me, but maybe we should move on and left.... I'm summarizing... but I think I did well in end it and say what I neeed and I will go for it. But it is hurting. Also, I have the felling of loss now, I lost the very good connection for having a relationship and more attention and respect. This is so confusing and painful.
@Christina Megan Hi Christina, thank you so much for your message and caring. However, I am not sure I want him back. He didn't act right. He was not totally honest in our relation and he admitted he betrayed me and after I said all that I needed he said we should move on and left without saying even "I am sorry". This is not the person that I want by my side. It hurts as I liked him, but I like myself as well and this is just not right to accept. I am improving day by day and gaining again my self love and confidence.
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"You can't scare off the right guy. If you say to him "my boat is leaving", and he's not willing to fight for that relationship, then he's not the right guy to begin with." Thank you, Mathew!
This is almost identical advice to what Matthew Hussey says you should say..."Seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while...and I want your happiness more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy...So I feel like you need to go and be alone, in order to figure out what you want. And I hope that I'm here, or I'm still here, when you're ready....but until then, I need I know someone who is completely "in" because I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't 100% about wanting to be with me.
"
I had a friends with benefits situation in college because I was very physically attracted to this guy and he told me he was too busy + too hurt from a previous relationship (he attempted to commit suicide when he and his ex broke up). At the time I didn't realize how much I already liked him and thought I was just lusting after him so I agreed to the fwb arrangement. We didn't set clear terms and in my mind, he was more of a boyfriend than a fwb. Later I was too hurt because he was doing a fwb and I was falling in love so I basically told him I am walking away. He agreed to make some changes to give me more time/devotion but to still keep a fwb. So I told him how my emotions towards him were no longer suitable for a fwb and was very firm in ending things. He tried to save the "relationship" a bit but eventually gave up. He tried to start things back up on a few occasions in the following months but I could tell he still didn't want a relationship and I was too hurt to try fwb with him again. Finally when I was already dating my now husband he tried to contact me to pick me up for a "real" date and seemed very serious about a relationship. Since he didn't keep in contact all the time and I didn't post my relationship on social media, he didn't know I already moved on. He called to say "I want to hear your voice again and I can come over to pick you up any time you want this weekend or the next". My response to him was "Sorry but I already planned something with my boyfriend." When he finally wanted a relationship with me, it was 2 years after I ended things with him. I think walking away from a guy who's not looking for the same thing you are looking for is the best solution. It's not that you are not an amazing person but that person may not be at the same page of their life. Rather than waiting around, find your happiness with someone else :) I think it's possible that this guy and I could've worked out in the end but I wasn't about to wait around for 2 years to find out. Not to mention, I'm already happily married to my now husband of six years that I would've missed if I was wasting my time on that guy. Like what Mat is saying, keep sailing your boat, with or without him.
Thanks for sharing this as I just walked away from someone that wants nsa but gives mixed signals ..
Yes if it took him two years to realise he wanted a relationship with you then it wasn’t live more ego
@@higherup4691 happy for you!
@@carolmaz8675 it wasn't live more ego?
True...thanks for sharing.. Really appreciate..
Thank you for your videos. Great content. I have said that, but he doesn't commit and he also doesn't leave. I'm exhausted
Thankyou. Just what I needed to hear
Man, he's sharing all of the secrets!
Why do men or woman who say they don't want a relationship or commitment then give mixed signals?
I don't think that you can have a serious relationship that will last if it's based on fear and possessivity. If a guy doesn't want a relationship it means that he's not in love with you. Move on or accept it, but if he just takes you because he's afraid to leave you, it will last like this the whole relationship.
That's my opinion ! Maybe I'm wrong, but I experienced it
@@contactcyberhackingsagegmail Wth you're insane. How can you even think about doing such a thing ?
Hi Matt and an amazing video I thank you for it. You once talked about how if a guy is not interested in a relationship then she has to move on and put up standard that he needs to be there in all the time. If she is not over yet, not certain to move on how to convince her with the right thing to do
Well in my experience, the guy decided to make a commitment with me (including marriage) when i made it clear I wasn't going to be exclusive and he wouldn't get any sex before that. So sad.
I have dated a man in 5 months I knew him he is very quiet,, in the beginning He told me that he is not able to commit a relationship bcuz of his past relationship,, we continue dating and I am slowly fall in love with him,, but he cares all about me, I don't know if he has feelings for me or not , we had argue one time and I was really hurts,, and all abt my feelings to him I talked to him ,, missing him and love him but he was just answered me ( I told u from the beginning I don't want to be responsible to someone heart)
😔 🙏💔
He doesn’t want a relationship... but he doesn’t want me out of his life...so he wants friendship...which pisses me off...and when I disappear he sends msgs”you okay” and I say yeah “ just busy”...how do I end a friendship without sounding bitter?
love it
Isn’t it humiliating to stay with someone who doesn’t want you? Just go...
sometimes is just fear of being hurt
Lola Who exactly waste of time!!!
Yes i was back with me as for 7 weeks and i walked into hes house and he was drinking with a girl all night said nothing happened and i said why u with me and he said im not with u o only ask u over for our son..And yet he rings me ask me over for dinner i was so humiliated and so hurt and i stupidly had sex with him.buut my boundaries are up and i dont know why he behaved like that as im st ill confused.
Lola Who right, exactly. I just walked away.
cesar I think he has fear of me hurting him...but I would never. I just wanna be loved consistently by one person who only wants me. And I was consistent sex dammit! I deserve it! Ok sorry lol
If he doesn’t want a relationship leave the dude alone, there’s someone for everyone no need to play mind games.
Pochely: yes pochely I agree with you!
That part
Pochely: I’m saying!!!
This isnt mind games, this is pure honesty this isnt a guide on how to force a man to be with you, its to judge whether this person or not wants what you want or whether its a waste of time
Hes the one playing mind games he said he just wanted to be friends and then he said he also likes me alot so I respected him I just flirted a little I've stopped caring for alot of things lately and now he's just flirting with me and hinting and its annoying
If he doesn’t want a relationship, or if he’s leaving you hanging, ditch him. I just did this literally an hour ago with someone who was giving extreme mixed signals. Sucks. But I couldn’t deal with and wondering anymore.
Very true!
smart woman
I really like your comment Matt: "Know this, you can't scare off the right guy."
I love that comment and it’s so true‼️
This comment is total bullshit lol
@@clintselby1614 OK, move on.
Iiuu
I love when someone teach or says something important in simple words straight to the point. You are that man.
I agree
Put the man back in the friendship list and start dating other men. I wouldn’t explain anything to him I would just start dating men with the same as I want. Don’t shed a tear. I don’t have time for men like this. Move on.
Lenore your so right I'm not saying nothing guys knows.. girl I'm seeing two guys. My options are open. I'm having fun. But I see what I see not what I want to see. Action speak louder than words
Yeah I have reserved this dude to be friends with me and he knows that. He knows I’m dating other guys. or trying to. But last night I took a pic of myself and he said “my arms should be wrapped around you”
I was like “if you’re dating me they could be” 😂😆
Lenore talon exactly ! Because he just may be a great friend
@@mecca115able I am dating two guys as well. And I am 53. I was thinking to talk to one of them, the one I am dating for four years, but decided that this is none of his business. I did put him into friend zone though and he got upset but no major decision of his part yet. Now I want to keep them both 😂 because the new guy is wonderful but on a different level. Time will tell who is the right one.. I decided to play waiting game for now and not to force anyone..
Keep playing the "co@#k carousel" until no guy wants you. Great advice
If he tells you that he doesn't want a relationship and you continue speaking with him he may believe that you were warned and you still want to continue with him with the situation that there is
Is He doesn't want a relationship, move on to someone that does! Simple
Millie Glez0003 not simple at all, cannot imagine kissing somebody else
It seems very simply but so hard to do
Well reality check it isn't as simple as that
Right that's why I don't want a relationship some boys are nasty by showing their dicks and touching theirselves gross
I learnt that the hard way stuck around for 2yrs, him telling me his sorting out his life. I couldn't do it anymore it's been 3months since I walked away I feel good😁
Playing games is not the answer. Find someone that wants what you want. Just breakup, do not try to change anyone.
zumzy u is this real? And works? I live in the Uk by the way
The best thing to do is believe them and move on. You can never change their mind in a million years
'Mind'? What 'mind'? LOL... ;)
Nadia Asencio 😂
@@HolyRollerTV It was a joke luv, relax
I don't want anyone to choose me because of their fear of me being with someone else. I want someone to choose me because they are sure about their love for me. Otherwise, the relationship could be an unhealthy jealousy/possession/codependency game.
Amazing point!!!!
You’re literally a genius. This is what we all feel deep inside but can’t explain it but you just did! Wow
@@krittazapata5076 🥰
Time is what heals. Idc what anybody says
You are thinking like a woman, he is not a woman. Men see and think different, may not make sense to you, but does to him. Women of today get way too frustrated because they dont got the fact men think completely in a different direction than them, and they are expecting he treated you like your girl friends and guy friends do
2 months ago.. I declared ny love to him.. He said not ready for a relationship.. I disappeared without even explaining myself. I think he got the message.. I know i will find the right one soon ❤️
Any updates ? Did he come back ?
@@arnzgel nope.. I don't even remember who he was😅🤣🤣🤣
@@fifiabdullah8276 hahahahahahahah
wow. im sorry baby ur gonna find someone great. hope ur doing well 💖
I did the same, they will continue to waste your time if you let them. Have to make the best decision for yourself.
I did exactly what you said BEFORE this video - I was pretty proud of myself! It didn’t hurt and the sky didn’t fall and he didn’t choose me. But all that is ok because I am so worthy of the best possible relationship! Good to know I’m making some better choices all on my own - but I do so love your tips!!! Thank you!
Joyful Love I am building my strength to tell him my boat is leaving Wish me luck because I can’t keep going like I am
Iris Clemons sending strength, bravery and courage... it’s not an easy thing but you can do this and you will heal and look back grateful!
I’m going though something like this rn my bf for a year dumped me last night he wants to stay friends for rn after I used this on him so idk if it worked or not 100% he knows I support him and will always be hear for him
@@irisclemons5627 how did it work out?
@@03081416 I finally said to him that I wanted the best for him and I will be just his friend but that I needed to move on . I looked at him differently someone that had a fear of Vulnerability limited in having a relationship . I said to myself God I can’t fix this you deal with it I’m not going to anymore and it’s quite strange when I finally let go of it and forgave I was able to move on myself
Or in other words... dont give in to HIS wants and HIS desires by giving up on urs!!!
And I'll tell u y not...
Becuz the second u do that... they (the guys) lose the feeling or the need for a challenge leaving u feeling used up and drained out and they lose the urge to fight for ur approval...
U, ladies, are princesses and queens... U have the power to rule them all... in ways u can't even begin to fathom...
U r more powerful than u know!
Just went through this. We were only dating about 7/8 weeks but He was being hot and cold and I started to feel confused and his effort fell off, so I said “ I enjoy spending time with you but before this goes any further I want to make sure we’re on the same page. At this moment what is it that your looking for?” He said he don’t know. ( scared etc) I told him “ It’s ok, take your time, when you decide what you want let me know and if I’m not seeing someone by then maybe we can try again” ... Mic drop 🎤 I am a little disappointed because he’s a great guy and I do like him. But I know it’s not fair to stick around. Will he come back? Who knows, but willing to walk away is better than devaluing yourself.
Did he come back ?
Update?
...?
How did it go?? I hope
Things are better
So proud of you bossing up and choosing not to put up and ACCEPT that, you won!
U can’t force man to love you! If he doesn’t want you just leave “ don’t waste time!!
Amazing advice Matt! I told the guy I’m dating this, I didn’t use these amazing words though, but along the same lines and I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. I was freaking out but now thanks to your advice, I realize what I did was right. I feel so empowered and a relationship should flow and come easy. Wow! Thank you! Blessings to you and your wife.
Live by
If u love something let it go.
If it loves you it will come back.
If it doesnt it was never yours.
U go into a relatipnship, friendship, or business with thos attitude. U r neither needy or pushy.
Those vibes r felt and fpr some reason u only attract love.
Its worked all my life.
Hard to let go
But this filtering is a machine.
And if the two people think like this, it will never happen. Because both will let go. I think it's best to be assertive and express yourself. But let go when feelings are not mutual.
@@MsLovication I agree with you. my boyfriend and I were in our relationship for 1year and 8 month. he told me at first he can not get married because poor girl who bear his behavior . recently I told him If his decision about getting married has not changed yet I think our relationship is over because I would like to get married and if he stays in my life I can not consider other boys. and he told me He can not get married totally.
This is basically an ultimatum phrased nicely. Unfortunately I've seen a third scenario the most. The guy agrees to move forward but deep down he's resentful and the woman never feels secure with him because she knows she forced him to choose and it creates a bad unhappy energy, and the woman is usually chasing him because he's not committed 100%.
That is a good point..about it essentially being an ultimatum. I know that a lot of men (and people in general) will immediately be put off by that and it won't work in your favor.. but there has to be a way around that.
Hahahaha you never can force a man to do anything! Again a women thinking does not translate to a men thinking, I pressured my husband to married me otherwise I left and go to look for what I want, he committed and married me, he said it was the best decision he ever made! Nobody resents anything, if the man finally decided to married you deep down he really loves you and don’t want to loose you, but his insecurities to move forward paralízale him.
He doesn't know he wants a relationship after MONTHS? So what have you been doing for these months if not dating?
Arc Kocsog lmao right
Probably just sex then him sending her on her way
sounds unsure of himself. personally I would say okay to him, and then say okay I quess we can see other people then, and then walk away...
@@MoonSunflower111 Exactly why I'm waiting until marriage. You would be amazed how quickly it weeds out the wrong guys. 99.99% of guys who approach you only want sex from you.
"You can't scare off the right guy. If you say to him "my boat is leaving", and he's not willing to fight for that relationship, then he's not the right guy to begin with." Love love love this
Me too, beautifully said 😍
I was dating a guy, I met his family, he met my daughter and we we’re brilliant together. The foundation of friendship and love was being formed and “boom” he ended it. I didn’t beg him back, I said “I respect your thoughts, I’m looking for a man who wants a relationship thus building a future with me & my daughter.” - then I went no contact, two days later he reached out proposing “friendship” I said no, I stated again, I want a relationship and a future with someone. This time I took him off my social media (no blocking) just removing him as a “friend,” and removed his relatives of my social media as well. I’ve been devastated, but I don’t want to be somewhere where I’m not wanted. I feel better removing him off social media, as I know he was spying on me. What’s the point of being with someone if we don’t want the same things 😞
Great tips! I’m okay ... I’m awesome. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Why would anyone want that? Anxiety definitely is the male motivator 😂🤣!! Be respectful, wish him well, be a friend, most of all respect yourself.
Wow. This was something I needed to hear. I just need to work up the courage and tell him and be willing to lose him. Ugh.
If he doesn't wanna have a relationship the best thing u can do is to leave him. He doesn't want a committed deep relationship move on and find someone does
Walked away and he moved on. Now I’m even more miserable and lonely through the holidays it’s been 6 months. I am going through the worst pain 🥺
my boyfriend started seeing me as a friend, and i did exactly this. Its about a week ago we parted ways, and i honestly do not care if we will ever get back together again or if we dont. I know my worth and I know I will find someone just as amazing as him:)) know your worth!!
Or even someone better than him. Btw are you guys back together?
Any updates ?
I should have subscribed this channel sooner. But I am glad at least I did now. ☺️☺️
Divya Murugesan never too late ,it will be useful for the next scum bag that shows at the door 😂😂
@@marieanne1989 Definitely! It will be useful for loving and retaining the person we love always. ☺️☺️
I love how assertive your advice is, with confidence yet still not aggressive. It makes the conversation firm but classy! ❤️❤️🙏
Nothing, if he doesn’t want a relationship then I move forward! I let him know what i want and if he doesn’t catch up I’m gone! Very straight forward!
That's exactly what i did! We have known each other forever.We we're friends/lovers years ago and after all this time of drifting apart he came back all by himself.Finally we are moving in together and are engaged to be married next year.
how long did it take to come back?
This gives me hope!
Yess!!! You can't scare the off the RIGHT guy ❤️❤️❤️
Women tend to mistake "chemistry." Men are different. We can hangout, and have fun. It may appear like it's "chemistry," although it's unnecessarily sexual or romantic attraction.
Wow, thank you Matt. This video really spoke to me and helped me know that I made the right decision in standing up for myself and knowing my self worth. This video came at the perfect time.
What if he asks you to be his gf repeatedly and when you finally give in he says he’s not ready
That's some serious mind-game shit, right there.
Oh that would be a terrible situation. But I'm sincerely looking for a women
This is actually me..he said he wanted a serious relationship since the start but when I noticed mixed signals I asked why he was flakey and he said he likes me but can’t commit properly as his previous relationship ended not long ago. The point is he was the one telling me that previous relationship was fully finished and was looking for a serious one and told me multiple times he wanted me to be his girlfriend..but in the end he said clearly he is not ready. So why dating when you are not ready and make me like him? I feel like that is cruel! He never said he wanted something casual but I am glad I asked him after only two wonderful dates and two months of texting because I started liking him more and I respect myself and I wanted to know if he had the same intentions and continue dating with me..
he is an emotional abuser, this is the early sign. run away!
I was seeing this guy for a month or two and I really like him, we have great chemistry but he is away all the time. I message him and told him that " I really like him and I wanna get to know him better and that I wanna know if he feels the same or there is a hope of us moving forward? If not then I wanna know as I don't want to expect anything". He then respond saying he had a great time with me, that he will be busy for the next few months and he can't give me what I want right now. So I responded " thank you for being so honest, I had great time being with you . I wish you well. He has a follow message but I did not respond as I am hurt.
Did I do the right thing? I am moving on but there is still a little hope that he will come back in the future.
i think he is going back one day but right now you have to move on...
I'm a guy and wanted to see whats your advices for girls,women etc. This is what people need to do, either being a guy or a girl, respect their path but you NEED to follow your own, dont let people to controll your life, awesome video, Mat!
"You can't scare off the right guy"...needed to hear these words..thank you Matthew!
@Mathew Boggs: Although this may be true for some men, most men who want a female will go get that female. If a man is shopping, going on hikes, or whatever, he's not that into you. Or he has issues he needs to work on. Or maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's content being a perpetual bachelor. "Fear of loss" is usually temporary. If it worked for you with your wife, that's great, but I think you are the exception.
This I will try but I know deep down he doesn't want a relationship with me.
I always do that... well... I’m still single but not gonna settle for less than what I deserve.
Same, time waster guys who can't make up their mind are a waste
Hi Matt, this is exactly the message I need. I had that conversation & separated myself from my ex but he keeps initiating contact & holding on. I will not get back with him until he can confirm he wants a relationship with me. I have to show I’m serious or he will work his way back in. I hope he steps up to the plate, if not I’m off in the boat to my destiny and he knows it.
This is why I refuse to date ever again. I have neither the time nor the patience to play games with anyone. It's either a yes or a no. I don't have any time for "maybe, we will see, let's see how it goes, let's go with the flow" All of that is a complete no for me.
I’m so happy this video showed up. I was recently seeing a guy and I asked him about where we were going. He was honest that he can’t be in a relationship right now due to him constantly working and leaving for the navy soon. At first I was devastated because we had a great connection but I respected his choice and moved forward. We hooked up one last time and I asked it’s ok to see other people and he said fine. I’m happy I finally ended it with him to give myself a real chance to find the love of my life❤️
Solid Mercer ummmm I never said I was. We had a mutual agreement and I wanted make sure we were on the same page in the end. No one is making no one jealous soo I don’t know where you’re getting that from😁
Wait after boot camp and he gets to his billet or new duty station IF he contacts you again.That gives him enough time to think about you seriously and gives him an idea about his financial situation being more stable by that time. 😆 True ❤️ love knows no bounds. ~My hubby is a Navy veteran. 😊
@@nathanbeales8900 if so it was nothing wrong with that! It's called testing the water lol. Seeing if he was confused or mean what he said lol! Which led her to choosing the best decision of moving on because she was for sure she wanted his love but he couldn't give it back to her
Lol no offence but you did him a favour. Young man has his whole life ahead of him, even joined the Navy. He doesn’t need some desperate needy woman to hold him back. You’ll regret your decision lmao.
@@Dan-Martin lmao 🤣 🤣🤣🤣
you responded over a fling that happened over 2 years ago & I moved on to a happier relationship where they navy guy stalked for a year. I’m great! I’m the one whose laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 & it’s *offense haha
You Are One of the Most Amazing Love Coach in the Internet Matthew... I've heard a lot here in RUclips and read a lot of Books too but YOU are Unselfishly, AUTHENTIC, and Realistic with your approach THANK YOU IN A MILLION WAYS... So If I find my Guy soon I will come back and recommend YOU to EVERYONE!
Clear and cut. You said it. I enjoyed this video. I just had the same situation happen to me and I needed to be sure that I did and said the right thing. I respect myself and love myself enough to let him go. It's for the best. I'm not going to allow for a man to make me look desperate, needy, or clingy.
I said I deserve to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me and that’s not you, that’s ok.
Love!!!
This is amazing!!!!!🌺 I just tried this last week but my mother made me feel guilty that I didn't give enough time. I thought one month of being the boat waiting in the harbor ⚓ was enough 😂
Hell ya you did right sis ♥️♥️
After my divorce, I took time to heal and realized I "attract what I reflect". I found my joy and happiness are found within me, not in someone else. A man does not define me or complete me. Boundaries and self love are taught in this video and it resonates with me. I am a hopeful romantic and look forward to meeting that amazing man whose core values are similar to mine. Bought the "Cracking the Man Code" and it has been an AMAZING journey of higher self awareness and insightful relationship wisdom!
Bless you and yours Mat!
healthroads Nicely said. TRUTH Thank You...Many Blessings on your journey...self Love.
This is a difficult thing to do if you truly love someone but its' the best thing to do for our own peace of mind , because if the person lets' you go it will hurt but at least you will know the relationship is not going to get closer and committed. The pain will heal in time and leave you free to find the forever love you are seeking with the right person. It also will save you months of wasting time with someone who is not truly in love with you and you can heal , move on and find that special someone. A thought to keep with you is ....You can never say the wrong thing to the right person...
This is exactly what happen to me now. We have been dating for almost 8 months, but we have not progressed to a committed relationship. Seems like i will need to have this conversation very soon... Thanks! This comes to me just the right time!!! Wish me the best!
Ooh girl, I know this comment is 2 years old but you have the patience of a Saint, my last experience I have the guy 3 months of my time and I realised I had had enough of the limbo so started dating other people and told him I wanted to give him his space to find what he wanted without me in the way because I wasn't going to continue the way we were going without any commitment and it's been 3 days since he won't speak or text me. Any updates on what happened with you?
@@80sprincess52any updates?
I had an experience with a guy I met in Greece. We had our first date and he told me that he is not made for relationships, that he cannot decide on which woman to stay with. I understood his belief and I told him about mine:"What I want is to get married and to have my home and family around, to take care of my husband and our house, to have lovely kids and a beautiful family life. This is what I want and what would make me really happy and I am going to have this." The same day, he asked me out again in the evening and he asked me to marry him. It was without a ring, but he was really serious. I refused him as we met just few days before and I was going out with him to meet new people because I was in vacation in Greece, I did not see him as a potential husband. This experince was interesting and I will never forget it. A high value woman has much power. 😊
A guy I met online just said this to me. Want to know what I did? Deleted him immediately and will find someone that does want me. I'm worth more than that bullshit
You're the best!!!🙌🙌🙌👌👌👌 just got new words impacted in me. I know what to do next now thank you!
Walk way. Never beg for someone to be with you. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
Why are men so basic? I would love a video on this topic. An HONEST, psychological, neurological and physiological break-down of this phenomenon. It's rampant, and I'm wondering if this is all there is? How can we move forward as a species when 40% of our members haven't evolved since the day they climbed out of their caves? How are rational, successful, and emotionally mature women supposed to desire a relationship with men when even the best among them turn out to be basic and unimpressive in a myriad of ways? Is it just me? I don't think so. I have many friends who are in "relationships" only because they are able to turn a blind eye to the annoyingly basic traits of their mates. They've learned to "put up with it," they explain. But is that really the acme of a successful relationship with a straight man? The female's ability to "put up with" his shortcomings? I'm ranting, I know, but I'd really love Mat's input on this.
This happened to me. I was with someone who didn’t want a relationship and I thought the “more time” thing would work. After 2 and a half years I finally told him he’s with me or he’s not and I was ready to get up and leave for good. He decided he was with me. We have been together ever since.
Girl that sounds like a deadend relationship. He didn't really change anything, he just did enough to placate you.
Yes and we have been together 13 years. He totally turned things around after I was ready to leave however I don’t think that’s the norm.
Mine after 4 years just left me today and it came as such a shock as he told me he loved me the night before
You know...what started this conversation? If he declares in any way he wants you to not see him in a mutually exclusive relationship, you can bet he has an agenda and you are expendible. Do not argue about it. Be confident enough to say, "I gotcha. I'm outta here."
A lot of people in this comment thread will get their first restraining order.
If a guy or a woman does not want you leave them alone and move on.
This video has helped me so much thank you i got into a fwb with a male friend of 12years i didn't realize i liked him in an romantic way and i realised that i have fallen for him he has said he doesn't want a relationship and he still loves his ex but still wants to be in this fwb but was giving me mixed signals i have just text him that phrase and his response was just ok this has give me the push i needed because now i can make room for the right person to come along
If he doesn’t chose you don’t chose him. Cut him lose and move on. Simple!!
This video was the best relationship advice I have ever heard. I watched alot but this takes the price. You answered all my questions in 8 minutes. Love it.
I’m a Military widow now for 4 years, was married for 29 years when he passed away. When We married I was 18, now I’m 51. I feel I want to start dating again. Just here to re- learn and gain some tips. I’m very assure of my self worth. Just needing some tips. Thank you for these videos.
Wow I recently experience this hahahahaha chills!
I kinda do the same thing that you mention.
I told him, the way he treated me was not the kind of relationship that I want. But the different is, I clearly told him I don't want ro be with him anymore. I told him what made me hurt so much (after he persuade me 3 times to talk things out. I am stubborn that way)
And now we end things. And I know that I will and still hope that I will have the relationship that I want. But also the way that my guy wants. So we can make each other happy. It might be soon, it might not. But hey, at least I learnt something new
If you don't choose me some other guy will... You hit the nail on the head I'm going through this right now... I will get my answer tomorrow ❤️ thank you so much Matt!
Dont chase anyone... Just move on....
Thank you for making this video. I've been fighting myself over my morals or getting the guy I want to know how great of a person I am and he'll miss out.
I’d leave a woman whose trying to show me her options. Men shouldn’t fear what if. He should do what is right.
*Who else needed this video? ?? Thanks for your knowledge. Simple and best advice* 😊
My boat is leaving. Well he was honest with me which I told him I appreciated it. Ya rejection stings,but I'd rather know now. I Deleted him from fb and my phone.He messaged me today said he can hang next week. NOPE,not happening. I deleted his message. ✌
He told me i cant move forward in this relationship, im not ready. I dont want to waste your time and mine. So i said ok i will leave. (It hurts so much,coz all this time he told me yes his ready) then after 4 days he msg, i reply , he wanted to talk, but then i said no im busy, he tried again after a week, so then i talk and were bsck together, but then i felt that its the same. So today im telling him, no , this is not working for me, i want a relationship thats real and ready. Its hard to let go. But i know i need to do this for myself :(
How are you doing now?
@@sirenitaleo3465 im back woth him, he said his ready now. But i dont think so. Its still not on the path that i wanted to be.
@@ladygadventures4144 are you still together!?
@@mushkamishka yes, were better now
@@ladygadventures4144 cool :)
Here’s the thing. You don’t want a man who will say yes to what you want, but do it begrudgingly. I finally learned my lesson after being in the wrong relationship for far too long. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then a begrudging yes is the same as a no.
I appreciate your guidance because I had no idea what to say or how to expeess my feelings. I have been in a "relationship" over 5 years and I need to move on. I have wasted tooo much time and I am guilty for allowing it to happen. Thank you Matt; I will be using the tool you presented in this video.
If he doesn't want a relationship.... Walk away. End of problem.
If you have been dating for months,then you are already in a committed relationship,if either of you are dating others at the same time then you are unfaithfull and unworthy of any relationship.
My exact thoughts!
So true.
It worked in The Sound of Music. When Maria came back the captain was already engaged. He asked her, "You are going to stay aren't you?" thinking he could keep her around as governess of his children after he married the baroness (or at least until then). Of course Maria wasn't up for that. So the captain ended it with the baroness so he could marry Maria. He knew he'd lose Maria if he didn't marry her.
I made the boldest move of my life some two months ago. He was stressed about the continuation of the relationship, frustrated about all his failures and went on saying he was not sure if he could propose to you. I got so fed up with this bullshit he kept on telling me every time things got a little deep, I told him, OK, you know what, that's so fine that You can't propose to me, cos let's be honest, right now You are not in entitled to pop that question to me, You're not in a place in our relationship and in your commitment especially showing it - that I would seriously consider such an offer. Well, we observed a 5 week-long break and he realised he doesn't ever want to be apart like that, so he's fighting hard to win me back. I'm so thankful to God that He gave me the courage to do this.
I tried this because I fell inlove with a man I had been dating 6 months.
He said I am just not wanting a relationship...he said maybe when I retire in 6 months??
I was upset..
I didn't say it quite right though so he probably won't get intouch....
I said I realise you do not want a relationship with me and I fully understand. I want you to be happy and I hope you find what you are looking for.
I want to be in a relationship with someone whose is fully committed to.
If not that would not be meeting my needs.
I will have to continue dating other men because I am searching for a loving relationship.
As everyone deserves to be happy.
I wish you love and luck.
That was 2 weeks ago...
He has not been fighting to get me back yet ...😒 will get on with my life.
💟
Love, "you can't scare off the right guy". 😄 Not only is it so ridiculously obvious, but just the cold, hard, bare bones truth lol. The way you deliver your instruction is so chill that it causes me to be perfectly cool with the idea! Lol. Subscribed :) thank you!!
You are eight, do you move on😌😌 😂 I actually just found out he doesn't date at all but he tried too. I don't know what he really wanted
i really needed this... thankyou so much 🙂 i m all clear now.. thankyou for the advice.
My boyfriend got me a birthday card an put a bigx on the girl part and he wrote haha underneath I said whats that about and he said it was a joke why bother buying the fucking card...wtf
My friend did pretty much what Matt says. Dated a guy for 3 months, moved in, lived with him for 3 months, then said that in 6 months time she sees herself in a wedding dress, and that will either be with him or with somebody else. A bit too much to push for marriage, but they are married now
Hey you're like a god sent. Every time I watch your videos it's like I have all these experiences in my relationships and u just put it in words so I can understand clearly what's going on. Thank you so much..
So profound. Blessings, Mat.
I just had this situation this week. I am dating a guy for almost 3 years and his keeping saying he likes me a lot but he does not want a relationship. He did not introduce me to his parents neither friends. He always gives excuses saying his has problems with them. This week I just said it was enough being treated this way. I want a relationship and being treated correctly. The opposite of him who lives with his parents I am independent and do not need to accept this treatment. He has problems to face this conversation. He said he likes me, but maybe we should move on and left.... I'm summarizing... but I think I did well in end it and say what I neeed and I will go for it. But it is hurting. Also, I have the felling of loss now, I lost the very good connection for having a relationship and more attention and respect. This is so confusing and painful.
@Christina Megan Hi Christina, thank you so much for your message and caring. However, I am not sure I want him back. He didn't act right. He was not totally honest in our relation and he admitted he betrayed me and after I said all that I needed he said we should move on and left without saying even "I am sorry". This is not the person that I want by my side. It hurts as I liked him, but I like myself as well and this is just not right to accept. I am improving day by day and gaining again my self love and confidence.