3 Things Narcs Do When They Can’t Manipulate You Any Longer 🫣

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  • Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
  • Why is it always the same story? They try to control you and manipulate you. Then you smarten up see through all of the toxic drama, and they start to make you out to be the bad guy or use one of these tactics on you. 🤔
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Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @angelinaesposito3058
    @angelinaesposito3058 Месяц назад +1267

    " When they Cannot Control you, they Control how others View You"

    • @patricehoward9831
      @patricehoward9831 Месяц назад

      That's why Stephanie calls the strangers she enslaves "narcissists" for fucking years, and people support this psychopath.

    • @tiffany-sheriwageman.3702
      @tiffany-sheriwageman.3702 Месяц назад +38

      My mother

    • @godiseverything1482
      @godiseverything1482 Месяц назад +28

      ​@@tiffany-sheriwageman.3702
      My family

    • @geekzer713
      @geekzer713 Месяц назад

      fighthing this bullshit right now it's insane

    • @asiyadua9590
      @asiyadua9590 Месяц назад +14

      Isr@el 😂

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 Месяц назад +626

    They will project all of their bad traits onto you and then call YOU crazy

    • @PhilGehringer
      @PhilGehringer Месяц назад +14

      Yeah, I've heard called crazy. Need my head checked. I'm a horrible person, everything. I've heard everything under the sun there. There is just no no remorse. They have no core. They're just a body boy. They knew what they were saying when they came out with that show walking dead. Once you're bit you're done. It's hard to get away from, but I'll tell you what once you put all the pieces of the puzzle together. It's sad, it's sad you pour out your heart. And soul to these people, and they just walk all over you. P*****, you off man. It really does, but you know what? Don't get theirs don't get theirs. They're not happy they're not happy at all

    • @Kath26124
      @Kath26124 Месяц назад +5

      @@PhilGehringer Same, I've been called by anything they could use. Even got to the point when one tell I'm normal.

    • @goodmorningsundaymorning4533
      @goodmorningsundaymorning4533 Месяц назад

      Yes! Then the screaming foaming at the mouth, entire eyes, even the white parts turn black, raging like a rabid animal. I've seen it. Evil vile ppl.

    • @SusanaXpeace2u
      @SusanaXpeace2u Месяц назад +6

      yes, couple of videos about projective identification really helped me understand this process and identify that that is how my mother behaves.. my mother is so defensive and so sensitive and she has projected this onto me, ie, she can receive NO feedback. Ever. Not even a request that she stop labelling me! She gets to tell me who I am, but If i ask her to stop, she's the victim of me. It still hurts. But it's a little less crazy-making when you understand what's going on. She also projects the bespoke flaws onto me to disguise her impatience and lack of empathy. ie, i'm demanding and awkward or I'd emotional........ These labels aren't true but they perfectly disguise (to her) her own lack of empathy, patience and willingness to connect authentically with her own daughter.

    • @Yoshibelle615
      @Yoshibelle615 Месяц назад

      Because they’re trying to turn you into them and than become you it’s really sick they treat you how they want to treat themselves

  • @RD12349
    @RD12349 Месяц назад +1059

    They hate when you ignore them and hang with new happy people. Avoid needy ones, clingy, victim mentality, high maintenance, me me me - go with happy go lucky, positive & grateful for small things individuals. Your life will be so much happier. Practice it yourself as well.

    • @patricehoward9831
      @patricehoward9831 Месяц назад +10

      Stephanie has preyed on strangers, violated, exploited, targeted, defamed, stalked, and enslaved strangers she calls "narcissists" for years to build her platform. She needs to be held accountable.

    • @clintlandrum9498
      @clintlandrum9498 Месяц назад +39

      Patricehoward, I'm sure you have proof of what Stephanie has done because I cant imagine you would ever provide us with a baseless complaint. So you should take the lead in holding her accountable. You have the proof, and you have issued the complaint, so you take the lead.
      I cant wait.

    • @randy_cbc8811
      @randy_cbc8811 Месяц назад

      @@patricehoward9831 I've never noticed her 'defaming' anyone myself.

    • @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285
      @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 Месяц назад

      ​@@patricehoward9831😂😂😂😂😂

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 Месяц назад

      Be wary of the toxic positivity. You can almost just die in a wreck or something and they will say "Well you just gotta be pos-i-tive!" They are usually the enablers of the narcs. Everything is puppy dogs and rainbows to them except for not going along to get along. They hate that. They believe that if everyone would just comply with the narcs demands then there will be peace.

  • @jorgerivera5757
    @jorgerivera5757 29 дней назад +134

    Quick 3 signs, they talk over you at times, they are never wrong, they can't apologize.

    • @user-zz8hl8se6t
      @user-zz8hl8se6t 12 дней назад

      really? im not that then

    • @kawiikittygamer7348
      @kawiikittygamer7348 11 дней назад +3

      Omg, this is so right. My husband does it all the time. Impossible to have a conversation with him. Always talk over me, doesn't listen what so ever

    • @mschlund1
      @mschlund1 9 дней назад +2

      Bingo, zero empathy

    • @jconklin86
      @jconklin86 9 дней назад +4

      At times… pshhhh… all the times! 😂

    • @KaselynStar
      @KaselynStar 9 дней назад +4

      yes yes yes yes, spot on. But even if they do apologize at any point, it is all for their own personal gain, nothing else.

  • @donnawheeler2195
    @donnawheeler2195 Месяц назад +558

    No contact is the only way to deal with narcissists.

    • @JF32304
      @JF32304 Месяц назад +32

      Absolutely zero contact! ZERO!!

    • @unknownsender6852
      @unknownsender6852 Месяц назад +23

      Just be aware that the bully-victim narc will make the case that YOU'RE the narc and you're doling out silent treatment.. Exhausting

    • @thecommentlounge
      @thecommentlounge Месяц назад

      ​@@unknownsender6852The Narc is already on a smear campaign long before you go no contact. The key is to not care because anyone who believes the Narc can get cutt off also. It's amazing how people will believe the Narc when they are codependents of them. I say they can take care of each other since they are so enmeshed together anyway. Good riddance!

    • @nadineelizabeth195
      @nadineelizabeth195 Месяц назад +12

      I've gone no contact but i still feel that they are attached to me it's weird

    • @JF32304
      @JF32304 Месяц назад +2

      @@nadineelizabeth195 who is this person, A family member or former lover?

  • @travismaxwell9805
    @travismaxwell9805 Месяц назад +151

    Once you realize you are dealing with a narcissist, leave. Don’t waste a minute.

    • @Onein6billion72
      @Onein6billion72 18 дней назад +2

      ❤💯

    • @meme-zv7kw
      @meme-zv7kw 15 дней назад +4

      A second

    • @soostdijk
      @soostdijk 10 дней назад +1

      That ‘s a bit too easy said, it might be close family. They are damaged persons that go into survival mode very quickly. Remember these three things: 1. Say something friendly before giving comments so they feel safe (else the other steps wont work). 2. Communicate very clearly, 3) Don’t let them cross your limits. Be clear and hold your selfrespect. Like: “Hey honey, I love you but shut up now”. “I like contact with you but not if you scold me” (and move out if it does not stop).

    • @robinm.1961
      @robinm.1961 7 дней назад

      Easy for you to say. My sister is such a narcissist. I don't have enough money to get my own apartment. I'm disabled. No help in this crap state in the South.

    • @meme-zv7kw
      @meme-zv7kw 7 дней назад

      @@robinm.1961 🙏

  • @Cooper.1313
    @Cooper.1313 Месяц назад +381

    Being with a Narcissist is a constant state of confusion. It's them spending your savings and being mad because you're broke. You'll go in with everything and leave with nothing. Best thing to do is run away

    • @WalksfortheSoul77
      @WalksfortheSoul77 Месяц назад +12

      Yep!

    • @user-q992
      @user-q992 Месяц назад +11

      I have run away!
      Having a great time with new friends in a hot country🎉
      Best thing is he can't manipulate these friends against me.
      Such a nice feel to be on 8 months holiday when the narc has to work every day and come back to an empty house🏠 Doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc all by himself and staring at the four walls and ceiling wondering why everyone has left him. Beautiful✨

    • @lijohnyoutube101
      @lijohnyoutube101 Месяц назад +15

      Exactly go in with everything and come out with nothing!!!

    • @soicybunny
      @soicybunny Месяц назад +8

      Damn soooo true. Second chance? It will just repeat or get worse.

    • @ekquinn7059
      @ekquinn7059 Месяц назад +6

      RUN away... I cant scream this loud enough. It's painful, sad & horrible but you gotta save yourself.... Because the narcissist, his flying monkies and everyone he's poisoned against you, won't. 💗

  • @deebee4622
    @deebee4622 Месяц назад +441

    Their behavior worsens as they age; they become more jealous and callous and double their efforts to control and seek revenge. I thank God for opening my eyes, helping me get away from a toxic relationship, and for finding your channel. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, peace is priceless!

    • @jlcmsw
      @jlcmsw Месяц назад +18

      This is my mother. I’ve gone no contact with her, but she still stalks me with letters and showing up at my house unannounced. She was banging on my door and on several windows in my house. She was talking about how hard her life is because her car tire keeps losing pressure. She was obviously desperate for attention. She’s 78 and even more dangerous than ever.

    • @kellecetraro4807
      @kellecetraro4807 Месяц назад +3

      My mom was really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really bad, but I have to be honest she's actually mellowed out significantly like night and day as she's gotten older. Don't get me wrong there's a glimpses 😂 but night and day.

    • @BAsed_AFro
      @BAsed_AFro Месяц назад +15

      "Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent People Ignore."
      - Albert Einstein

    • @kellecetraro4807
      @kellecetraro4807 Месяц назад

      @@BAsed_AFro 🥱

    • @Nothankyouhun
      @Nothankyouhun Месяц назад +6

      Fucking great 😑 they get worse

  • @Aochic
    @Aochic Месяц назад +343

    When you don't care so much that you skip these videos, you have won!!!

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Месяц назад +15

      Wow, I was just thinking that I don't need to watch any more videos describing the ins and outs of narcissism because I have gotten the education I needed. Besides, this is one of the worst videos I've ever tried to listen to.

    • @omvendtslev
      @omvendtslev Месяц назад +1

      @@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Ha ha see seems absent.....but the words are realy good

    • @omvendtslev
      @omvendtslev Месяц назад +2

      Thats nice...I was more after the comments =)

    • @samsquanch1996
      @samsquanch1996 Месяц назад +10

      You clearly didn't skip this video though....

    • @Aochic
      @Aochic Месяц назад +7

      Actually watched for about 15 seconds when i realized "I really don't care"

  • @Burbankelly
    @Burbankelly Месяц назад +173

    Be thankful…very, very thankful when they ghost you! It's a gift and a blessing - run with it! DO NOT seek “closure”! Ghosting IS closure!

    • @Yo-yo-dt5ze
      @Yo-yo-dt5ze Месяц назад +11

      This….. he ghosted me after he asked me for money and I haven’t heard from him in a month I didn’t even bother to text him for closure because he already hurt me I can never trust again I’m glad he did what he did now I can begin healing after 5 yrs

    • @JF32304
      @JF32304 Месяц назад +4

      Amen!

    • @goodmorningsundaymorning4533
      @goodmorningsundaymorning4533 Месяц назад +12

      Keeping the ghosting permanent. That is your closure.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Месяц назад +6

      AMEN! YES!

    • @MeettheCreatives
      @MeettheCreatives Месяц назад +3

      i needed to hear this for real lol

  • @loglan5150
    @loglan5150 Месяц назад +177

    My narc never apologized & never once put blame on himself in any & all arguments we ever had. He just gaslit me so hard that I would come back thinking it really was my fault. They’re evil incarnate.

    • @syzygy4365
      @syzygy4365 Месяц назад +4

      YEP! The rabbit hole goes so deep. It takes maturity to grow and shadow work to make sure you yourself heal.

    • @Luna-ky3jl
      @Luna-ky3jl Месяц назад +2

      I feel it..

    • @katiedinkel1681
      @katiedinkel1681 Месяц назад +8

      @@caffacaffIf you are wondering if they are a narcissist, they probably are a narcissist. How they react to your concerns will tell you everything!

    • @susanjames4235
      @susanjames4235 29 дней назад +4

      They are completely insidious.

    • @susanjames4235
      @susanjames4235 29 дней назад +1

      Red flags!!

  • @davidhynd4435
    @davidhynd4435 Месяц назад +249

    "This is not easy stuff to go through."
    Understatement of the century.

    • @qubex
      @qubex Месяц назад +6

      I experienced the discard rage more than a year ago and I still don't know how to get over it.

    • @lela888
      @lela888 Месяц назад +10

      It’s mental torture!

    • @jerryvandevort2366
      @jerryvandevort2366 Месяц назад +5

      ​@qubex success and moving on is the best revenge. Just remember the time you spent in that relationship is over. Try to realize how you fell into that hole/trap s it doesn't happen again.

    • @fitlife1205
      @fitlife1205 29 дней назад

      Weirdest shit ever!!

  • @Xenaphone1
    @Xenaphone1 Месяц назад +150

    For anyone still suffering through the trauma bond breakup, just know it gets better. You will find yourself again and you will be happy. It took me a year, but I am far better than I was before.

    • @tingeling4443
      @tingeling4443 Месяц назад +5

      🌸🌸🌸

    • @vickit3124
      @vickit3124 Месяц назад +5

      Thank you. I needed to hear that 💐

    • @joanbaczek2575
      @joanbaczek2575 Месяц назад +3

      It’s been 2 years for me I’m still feeling like crap

  • @a.wilcox5690
    @a.wilcox5690 Месяц назад +210

    I did develop PTSD from this. My husband of 32 years started going into rages and emotionally attacking me. I had started setting boundaries and refused to be manipulated and treated poorly. I am so grateful the marriage ended. I feel more of a sense of peace and contentment now. I have learned to love myself. He has turned others against me so he can look good. I know that I am a good person and I will no longer be manipulated.

    • @TheSeaOfAsher
      @TheSeaOfAsher Месяц назад +13

      Boundaries are important. Also safe-spaces. Space creates a distance from a to b and helps you heal away from their inflicted pain. They break boundaries all the time. I'm not a psychologist so it was hard for me to tell I was being abused until everything was gone. I had a lot of good going for me and it disappeared because I was around them too long. That's will happen if you don't detect their abuse soon. It's so subtle.

    • @julies2814
      @julies2814 Месяц назад +21

      I developed PTSD as well.
      I've been stuck in a one-sided marriage for 42+ years.
      I started laying down and enforcing my personal boundaries.
      When he tries to enforce, bully, manipulate or guilt me when I REFUSE to compromise and bend to HIS will, I flat out tell him I will NOT disrespect myself, my integrity, my conscience nor my soul, and he can take it or leave it.
      And then I stand my ground.
      He pouts, but he's learning that having a temper tantrum only strengthens my resolve.
      I no longer care how he or anyone else he's related to think of me.
      The opinions they want to form of me is only a reflection of them, and its NEVER been about me, but it's the twisted minds THEY have.
      Birds of a feather flock together.
      And if that's how others want to perceive me, then I have no use for them either and I don't want them in my life because they've proven they are unworthy of me.
      I only care about what "I" think of myself and what's good for ME.
      At almost 62yrs of age I've FINALLY learned!
      ❤❤❤

    • @Hummingbird64
      @Hummingbird64 Месяц назад +11

      You have described my life . I divorced him after 28 years . Smeared me so bad I moved a state away to avoid negative people and his stalking me .

    • @user-em8on8py9z
      @user-em8on8py9z Месяц назад +4

      Same thing is happening to me. My older sister is very envious of me and everything I have accomplished. She's started a smear campaign but not being successful because most people know me in this small town and knows my family has"Issues". She is a toddler in a adult body.

    • @jenifernadeau
      @jenifernadeau Месяц назад +2

      Good for you! It's all about the inner child healing, and doing our own shadow work to love the parts of ourselves that we were programmed to believe we were unlovable... and keeping the focus on enhancing ourselves and daily self-care and following our own passions first and foremost, because we unconsciously attracted jobs and bosses and friends and partners that are representing the unhealthy parts of our childhood caregivers, and what we had to tolerate as children from parental abuses of authority that we didn't want to see clearly and that we made excuses for...
      and we end up in a "fawning" response to trauma which is people pleasing behaviors ...we must focus on the childhood wounding and emotional neglect that we didn't even know we experienced. You might like the channel -the Holistic psychologist.. she explains quite well how children take on belief systems and behaviors and we all get fragmented before the age of seven in a toxic and dysfunctional household that we don't even know is dysfunctional, because it's all we know.
      We are energetic beings❤ that will attract the same frequency that our bodies are familiar / comfortable with, for example, if we have a poor sense of self value and worth, we will attract a narcissist who also has that.. they just put on a show for the world in a different way and have a strong but toxic sense of self, and they are in our lives to help us develop a healthy😊 strong sense of self and inner foundation. Gratefulness for the experiences with them can happen when we realize we would have never learned our worth and value and strength and resilience if we did not have experiences with them. The universe gives us what we need, not what we want. It takes what it takes to teach us who we are and how precious and amazing and worthy and valuable we are but none of that comes from the world or parents or family or anyone else, not licenses or accolades or awards..... it has always only been within but as children we searched externally to be seen and heard and validated, so we carry that subconscious program into adulthood❤

  • @stufficook
    @stufficook Месяц назад +206

    I almost went to jail screwing around with these people. A person can only take but so much. It's so important to walk away. Never again!!

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 Месяц назад +23

      You and me both. I lost my mind dealing with them and almost went to jail. Never again. I walk away.

    • @alimccreery755
      @alimccreery755 Месяц назад +9

      I can relate totally

    • @kirojosephfortes6428
      @kirojosephfortes6428 Месяц назад +8

      I did go to jail....
      I totally lost it.......angry bird on them....
      Nec min.....they said ..victim mode..
      After narc.....to me..
      I know all the signs now

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 Месяц назад +4

      @kirojosephfortes6428 Sorry to hear that. Believe me...I was headed down that road too, thanks to God I avoided that

    • @Angus1966
      @Angus1966 Месяц назад +3

      Same here , Narc parents lied to police , nearly went to jail , spent two days in remand though

  • @Savvynomad225
    @Savvynomad225 Месяц назад +99

    Never have kids with a narcissistic/bpd person, or if you do be sure you get custody of the kids. When everything goes downhill, and they realize they can’t control you, the kid(s) become a pawn to control you.

    • @Savvynomad225
      @Savvynomad225 Месяц назад +5

      @@MiniPlayzMinecraft they can co-occur and are both cluster B ego-syntonic personality disorders. A person with NPD/BPD will not seek treatment but instead triangulate against you for suggesting it and you’ll be tagged with a lifelong vendetta if you decide to preserve yourself and your sanity and create boundaries and end the relationship.

    • @ets5697
      @ets5697 24 дня назад +9

      Good luck getting custody of the kids. As you said - the entire game becomes about the kids. Say you get custody of the kids - you think they are just going to leave that alone? Yeah right. It's a constant, perpetual, never ending battle. The reality is that if you have kids with an NPD, who's malignant? You're fucked. You're going to have to choose between untold hurt, pain, struggle, frustration, anger, punishment, not to mention parental alienation, financial ruin, maybe even a couple moments of alcoholism or two, losing your mind, maybe even losing your job and even your identity - OR - choosing self preservation and walking away - therefore losing your kids in the process. No matter what you choose, you will lose. And lots of times, BOTH of those things happen anyway - because even if you realize that you are being destroyed, so you have to walk away for self preservation, they will hunt you down anyway. Even if you ask for mercy and give up, they won't let you leave the fight. This is the brutal, cold, maddening reality of that situation: it's a total fucking nightmare with no solution.

    • @user-ov4wr5yu4r
      @user-ov4wr5yu4r 20 дней назад +6

      Not everyone realized until after kids were born.

    • @jws3925
      @jws3925 15 дней назад

      They were even before the divorce.

    • @ivankrushensky
      @ivankrushensky 11 дней назад

      @@ets5697 100% on the money here.... this sounds exactly like my wife's ex situation. How dare she leave him? There is no winning in the situation- no matter the custody arrangement. He will not leave her alone and uses his/her son as a tool to try to manipulate any way he can- as in, the child is now sent with the task of telling us how we must run our household and "we're going to Hell if we don't listen to his Dad's Biblical wisdom...." No joke. There is no winning. All you can do is hope the blinders come off someday and be there if/when they do.

  • @taliajournee212
    @taliajournee212 Месяц назад +109

    I agree with everything except the silent treatment. Sometimes silence is the best approach. By removing them from your social circle you are setting yourself free. I personally can't pretend to act as things are normal when they are acting like a psycho. The silent treatment is not about them, it's about me finding peace.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh Месяц назад +14

      Exactly. Silence is best sometimes.

    • @ocaptainnc
      @ocaptainnc Месяц назад +9

      It’s called grey-rocking, or yellow-rocking… been a very effective technique in my recovery… Godspeed….

    • @mariah3654
      @mariah3654 28 дней назад +5

      Greyrocking is different from stonewalling or silent treatment. The difference is there's still communication but no emotional reaction, simply being as interesting and responsive as a grey rock.

    • @gachapotatocookie2309
      @gachapotatocookie2309 23 дня назад +3

      I think it’s also different because silent treatment is a manipulation and you’re wanting a certain outcome but no contact or grey rock is so you can set a boundary from the abuse or get completely away from it. You don’t actually want anything from them like they do when they use the silent treatment.

    • @jakeforder9435
      @jakeforder9435 14 дней назад +5

      Silent treatment is emotional abuse. There is no excuse for such emotionally immature behaviour. Avoidance and not communicating are manipulative actions and can be extremely damaging to a relationship. If somebody isn't willing to negotiate or be self-reflective, or even have the common courtesy to reply, they are not worth bothering with

  • @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx
    @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx Месяц назад +242

    After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

    • @DilipBansal-br1ve
      @DilipBansal-br1ve Месяц назад +1

      I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??

    • @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx
      @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx Месяц назад

      Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .

    • @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx
      @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx Месяц назад

      She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸

    • @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx
      @MarielaCardozo-tw5tx Месяц назад +1

      After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.

    • @Rikki-Johnson
      @Rikki-Johnson Месяц назад +3

      God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning.

  • @Burbankelly
    @Burbankelly Месяц назад +79

    You were supply. Supply is the only thing that makes them not feel dead inside. When they feel their supply waking up, gaining understanding, and slipping away, their fear, and subsequent anger rages inside, and will manifest in various terrible and Hellish ways!

  • @melanieheckler1773
    @melanieheckler1773 Месяц назад +87

    My mom has done this to me for as long as I can remember. I've had "friends" and boyfriends who have done this to me as well. I'm 48 now, and tend to isolate in order to heal, and am much more discerning about who I let into my life.

    • @Puppylove82-gv3gm
      @Puppylove82-gv3gm Месяц назад +1

      My mom and brother! Then I get married and my father inlaw too!!!! I can't get away! We keep them at such a distance it's not even funny. My hair was falling out at one point! I had to do something so I chose therapy to help me grasp this mess and learn how to set boundaries and say NO!

    • @katiedinkel1681
      @katiedinkel1681 Месяц назад +6

      Be careful about isolating while you heal because you can lose connection to good influences and that’s what the narc wants for you!!!

    • @alguedemer
      @alguedemer 29 дней назад +2

      Same here. I stopped seeing my mum. She doesn't even question herself...

    • @Healingagain4
      @Healingagain4 15 дней назад +2

      @@katiedinkel1681wow… great advice! I totally isolated and he (the narc) loves it. It gives him even more control. It’s so disturbing what these people do to your psyche

    • @Healingagain4
      @Healingagain4 15 дней назад

      Love your videos!!! Thank you so much!!❤❤

  • @Burbankelly
    @Burbankelly Месяц назад +81

    Their drive to get a highly emotional response out of you is supply! Do not give it to them!

    • @dragonflymagictarot1180
      @dragonflymagictarot1180 Месяц назад +8

      This ! It almost seemed like he wanted me to cry like he wanted me to feel bad … for bullshit. He wanted me to beg him or something..

    • @destinybound1988
      @destinybound1988 Месяц назад +2

      It is hard when it is in laws trying to use your marriage for their advantage, but then say you are crazy and they didn’t do anything.

    • @Burbankelly
      @Burbankelly Месяц назад

      @@destinybound1988 I know it goes against the empathetic persons inner code but try it! It's actually fun and so cathartic to go Gray Rock on them! Rocks are boring, and unresponsive! Be The Gray Rock! It's a blast robbing them of their supply! It baffles and dumbfounded them!

    • @sladjanailic2294
      @sladjanailic2294 Месяц назад +1

      👏👏

    • @DrewClark-ov5up
      @DrewClark-ov5up 10 дней назад +1

      And when you don’t, be ready to be accused of abandoning them, being emotionally unavailable, withdrawing, etc

  • @thirstonhowellthebird
    @thirstonhowellthebird Месяц назад +148

    My older sister did this all to me from the time I was probably four years old. She literally went into kindergarten, grade school, high school trashing me to any and everyone who will listen. She destroyed my chance for long-term friendships because of the lies she told and the fact that people believed her. These people are evil. They are so evil. I guess I’m kind of grateful because I realize now that anyone who can be swayed by gossip, isn’t someone I would want to be friends with. I would never in 1 million years not be friends with someone because of gossip I hear about them. I would want to find out more about that person and gossip would even probably make me more intrigued to get to know that person to see if they are in fact lining up with rumors. It’s so weird how easily people can be swayed by gossip and the smear campaign.

    • @Unpopularity
      @Unpopularity Месяц назад +1

      It wasn't a gift and you know it. There is no silver lining. They weren't swayed by regular gossip, but rather by a supposed trusted family witness' testimony about a stranger. You were robbed and there is no "God" who fixed it, stopped it, or cared. I know you tell yourself brightsides to cope. You were violently destroyed. It happened. It's real. No "well, but". Humans have a violent religious-splaining toxic positive commitment to the so-called "loving spirit". It is evil. There is no holy spirit; you were robbed. No gratitude is required. No god stepped in to stop the murder and assault from a violent sibling destroying your life and future, which is murder. Face reality

    • @tiffany-sheriwageman.3702
      @tiffany-sheriwageman.3702 Месяц назад +8

      I'm sorry for your pain.

    • @annastone5624
      @annastone5624 Месяц назад +14

      I’m so sorry you went through that.
      I feel the same the problem with gossip though, if often people don’t realise it’s gossip. I recently was shocked to find someone I trusted was completely two faced and I now realise I can trust nothing they told me. About some guy owing him money, about another person being ‘great’
      The way I look at it is some people are evil absolutely and this is just not talked about enough!! But not everyone is deliberately supporting them, they just don’t know yet.. but I do believe a persons true colours always comes out.. eventually..
      Well done on surviving this! 🌸

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 Месяц назад

      People see what they want to see and mostly they're the crap but would rather not reflect, they're a lynch mob, my sister's an older overt coke head sis, 6 yrs older I had nothing to do with her upbringing, tried to help her with her kids after her 1st divorce and such but unappreciated and taken advantage of, of course, now she's 70 and I can't believe she's still alive, chain smoking 🚬 for over 5.5 decades, they've the devil 😈 to pay, I wonder how many nice smart people my family scared away....

    • @jamnoise72
      @jamnoise72 Месяц назад

      Fk them! They side with the bully they are cowards! You better off without as you say!!❤

  • @anabellaparis1
    @anabellaparis1 Месяц назад +83

    I told him I don't respect him any more and I see his real personality. I believe he's a vulnerable narcissist. He just closes like an oyster and doesn't speak. When I confront him about certain things he lied and cheated about, he gets mad. Then again sad and closed and gives me the silent treatment. It's exhausting. He blames his parents, his life, it's never his fault.

    • @samscarletta7433
      @samscarletta7433 Месяц назад +15

      Yep! They are sooo predictable 🥴

    • @jasonb9152
      @jasonb9152 Месяц назад +2

      You mean a covert narcissist.

    • @anabellaparis1
      @anabellaparis1 Месяц назад

      @@jasonb9152 there's a difference between a covert and vulnerable narc according to Dr Ramani

    • @alguedemer
      @alguedemer 29 дней назад +4

      I've just left someone similar. The silent treatment is horrendous. Good riddance.

    • @diamondedevil
      @diamondedevil 9 дней назад +1

      dont tell him anything else, just ghost the fuck outta him no contact and protect yrself

  • @mois9555
    @mois9555 Месяц назад +76

    I don't feel sorry for them at all, not anymore.

  • @cklg88
    @cklg88 Месяц назад +100

    I just finished with a narc boss as a parttime caretaker. She was mean, insulting, disrespectful, covert in all of them. When ever I set my boundaries she got worse and she would pretend to be nice to see if she could manipulate me (my answer became a stronger NO). I literally would do my job and grab my stuff and sing "by" as I was closing the door behind me not even waiting for a response. The stronger my boundaries the nastier she got. Well, it's all over she went into the hospital a week ago and died and the first thing I thought was "thank God and good ridens". I learned a lot from her I knew she was toxic from go and slowly my boundaries got stronger, which made her even more angry. She literally would try purposely to say things directly she knew would hurt me. She hated that I was smart, she hated that I was pretty and would try and cut me down then appologize and say I'm just kidding. It got less when I started calling her out on her shit and she hated it. I would enter the house and just fake it and my PTSD would set in with naseua and leave with PTSD heart palpatations, and sit in my car and cry all the time because she was that toxic. Screw these people, just stay the hell away from them and do it quickly, and have no mercy in telling them off because they don't give a darn about you. I'm done being nice. My mental health comes first. (Full-Stop).

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 Месяц назад +2

      Amen to that, I'd just written on another response to give it to them with both barrels when push comes to shove, you've your own mental health to take care of, there you are taking care of her only to be crapped on, covert malignant mom lied I had power of attorney, she's still going at 86 but none of her 3 kids visits, she's physically and mentally abusive to the staff getting her energy by being so...

    • @nushraziyan1772
      @nushraziyan1772 Месяц назад

      I clearly understand what you have been going through. I myself suffering for more than 12 years in the hands of my narcissistic in laws

    • @Skyfoxx23
      @Skyfoxx23 Месяц назад +1

      Preach 🙌

  • @haroldcravens5927
    @haroldcravens5927 Месяц назад +79

    Every conversation I've had with her turns into her being the victim and me being the problem.

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 Месяц назад +9

      You had a conversation with them? How did you manage to get words in?

    • @BAsed_AFro
      @BAsed_AFro Месяц назад +10

      That's because they have to project their anger, shame, pain onto others due to their flat out refusal to deal with and process their own childhood trauma junk.

    • @scottoz7891
      @scottoz7891 Месяц назад

      Well said ❤

    • @fitlife1205
      @fitlife1205 29 дней назад

      EVERY!!

  • @etaokha4164
    @etaokha4164 Месяц назад +61

    He tried intentionally getting me pregnant because he has lost control over me and cant manipulate me anymore. I am totally stoic towards them. Theyre filled with envy and jealousy and continue to be angry people even in old age

    • @mikeypeinado383
      @mikeypeinado383 Месяц назад

      How does one intentionally get u pregnant ? Cutting holes in condoms ?? lol jw

    • @loredanaelenaung
      @loredanaelenaung 28 дней назад

      What did you do when he tried impregate tou?

  • @spilledit
    @spilledit Месяц назад +47

    They will always do micro aggressions. Eventually you might snap. If you dont, they still get to disrespect you with the micro aggressions and they enjoy all that. But they will also use the kids as pawns.

    • @rustyscrapper
      @rustyscrapper Месяц назад +1

      Kids are the highest value chess pieces they have because the other parent can't seperate from them without abandoning the kids too. They use seeing the kids as a barbed hook you cant take out. It forces the other parent to have contact with them. Time wasting is a perfectly acceptable game they like to play, so making visitation an exhausting, time wasting, hurdle jumping game, is just great for them.

    • @gwenlittle8100
      @gwenlittle8100 7 дней назад +2

      Yes micro aggressive behaviour goes unnoticed by others.

  • @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful
    @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful 8 дней назад +4

    🎯 Narcissist = your pain is their joy, your joy is their pain.

  • @laura-2
    @laura-2 16 дней назад +98

    When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

    • @jws3925
      @jws3925 15 дней назад +1

      My ex wife's favorite was "I may say some things when I am angry. Don't be so sensitive, I don't mean a lot it. Why don't you grow up."

    • @SoundsBogus
      @SoundsBogus 13 дней назад +2

      "Surrogate punching bag." The N in my life can't fathom why I don't want to be on the receiving end of his rages, since he's just expressing the anger he has for himself, as he explained. He can't relate to the shattering of my nervous system, as I explained.

  • @gypsy698
    @gypsy698 Месяц назад +44

    My mom is a covert narcissist. I ended things. She kicked me out of the apt we were sharing, but, I was the one who went "no contact" on 3/16/24. She is blocked from everything, so she can't play her mind games anymore. She can find a new victim. I made it very clear, in an email that I sent her 2 days ago, that I know that she is spying on me and using (or trying to use unsuccessfully) our former next-door-neighbor to spy on me and report back to her. He said that he is friends with both of us and didn't want to take sides. She didn't like that at all. She has also ruined my reputation with relatives and her friends, so I can't talk to anyone that she is in contact with, which is fine. I'm moving on with my life.

    • @robynmarler1951
      @robynmarler1951 Месяц назад +2

      Wishing the best for you sweetheart, God bless you💖🌱💖

    • @ItisWritten793
      @ItisWritten793 Месяц назад +7

      Sadly, our mothers are the ones that cause us pain and they are always undetected. But the damage has been done

    • @joey5816
      @joey5816 10 часов назад

      Mine did the same. Ruined all the relationships with my brothers, son and relatives. My boy treats me just like she taught him. Also, turned my grand babies against me. I didn't know what a narcissist was until I was 60. I kept trying to make it work as a mother daughter relationship. I'm doing great since I moved far away from them and went no contact 😊. Praise God!!!!

  • @shekar222
    @shekar222 Месяц назад +56

    The most difficult manipulators are those who are always kind and go over and beyond to help out. However, in return, they want all of your time and a short leash on all your activities and the people in your life.

    • @ceasarwright7567
      @ceasarwright7567 Месяц назад

      ​@@Yo-yo-dt5zeOriginal poster said those who help are the narcs.

    • @frankclark4709
      @frankclark4709 Месяц назад +1

      Yup

    • @Ame-sens-ible
      @Ame-sens-ible Месяц назад +1

      Yes, like they do everything to look good. They will play « the healthy and caring ». They do all what you want, there is never a problem… everything is under control all the time.

    • @ceasarwright7567
      @ceasarwright7567 Месяц назад +2

      @@Ame-sens-ible or maybe they are nice and others just use them and want to give nothing in return

    • @Ame-sens-ible
      @Ame-sens-ible Месяц назад

      @@ceasarwright7567 Giving more than what you can give to someone that don’t ask so much is also manipulation

  • @user-em8on8py9z
    @user-em8on8py9z Месяц назад +35

    I hate when its said it has nothing to do with you. I take it personally because it is happening to ME.

    • @thecommentlounge
      @thecommentlounge Месяц назад +5

      And that's okay. I'm the same because you're the one left to deal with your emotions and have to figure out how to cope with the relationship; that is personal. But eventually you see that the narcs treat everyone the way they treat you and those who support the Narc have simply fallen in line. It's some crazy ish but it becomes clearer as you learn the behaviors. Me, I don't stay any relationships with Narcs.... They're too toxic for me.

    • @ninedynastystore
      @ninedynastystore Месяц назад

      That's because you don't understand. Educate yourself and you'll see that it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Seek help and God will redirect your path!

    • @user-em8on8py9z
      @user-em8on8py9z Месяц назад +2

      @@ninedynastystore what I do understand is they know what they are doing. They know that the pain they inflict on some but not others. I know they seek out one's they know they can get supply from. I know that it comes from childhood traumas, but we ALL have come from some form of childhood traumas and not all CHOOSE to transfer their pain to CERTAIN ones. They can seek help IF they want to, but they CHOOSE to go down the abuse path, so please do not tell me that I do not understand it. I know that they have caught a demon, and I know that God is the only one that can release them from it. Ephesians 6:12.

  • @Plutoo44
    @Plutoo44 Месяц назад +24

    Some people will say they've never done anything to hurt you, when in fact they have. Or they'll say don't take it personally, so they know it's hurtful but they say it anyway.

    • @oftin_wong
      @oftin_wong 29 дней назад +1

      "why don't you just put up with it "
      ...that's the most arrogant statement I've heard my narc mother say over time in relation to being called on her behaviour

  • @PhilGehringer
    @PhilGehringer Месяц назад +36

    I say it like this. They give you their false self in the beginning. And then you give them your false self in the end. And they don't like that cause I would just say I'm A. Reflection of you. I just keep saying that I'm A. Reflection of you. My reaction is because of your actions

    • @therevoltingpleb
      @therevoltingpleb Месяц назад

      I don't know about this. I think, in relationships like this, we often both hide aspects of ourselves. It's somewhat natural for traumatized people, who often attract these dynamics (or rather simply overlook the red flags in them). I think there are often very real signs that we overlook, ignore, explain away (in my case, it's almost always there, and some level of self-gaslighting stemming from childhood scapegoating takes place). Like, people with high empathy may understand what it is like to not be given grace, so we give it to others.
      But I do see what you are saying. I think it just is super complex.

  • @dame8896
    @dame8896 Месяц назад +31

    I'm Tired of Attracting these People 😡😡😡

    • @iamcolettestyles
      @iamcolettestyles 17 дней назад +3

      Me too

    • @Jackmcars12
      @Jackmcars12 16 дней назад +1

      Me too, found out I was a damn scapegoat of one! 🙈

    • @wendydaniel1110
      @wendydaniel1110 6 дней назад +1

      Increase your discernment where you could smell them a mile away and shut it down immediately......

    • @abustamante2996
      @abustamante2996 5 дней назад +1

      Warn your children as they grow up. Teach them to turn down “gifts” and “favors” from fast people wanting any type of closeness with them. The kind coming off as a victim of a previous situation. The kind who want to tell you how to drive where to park. That’s an annoying habit but there can be a lot worse coming from them. Spare yourself trouble the problem they want your help with is not your problem.

    • @kostasplafountzis3544
      @kostasplafountzis3544 5 дней назад

      you are not alone if that makes it better,there are so many people like this in 2024,unfotunately,its an epidemic,worse than corona-virus,and there are so many people that suffer because of their foolishness and madness

  • @IrmaQP-zk1ni
    @IrmaQP-zk1ni Месяц назад +28

    Thank you JESUS, 4 removing narcissistic, wrong people out of my life & sending the right, godly people. Thanks Stephanie, 4 this important information. GOD bless you!

    • @marieeva7418
      @marieeva7418 24 дня назад +2

      God bless you as well! God saved me too!!!!❤

    • @IrmaQP-zk1ni
      @IrmaQP-zk1ni 9 дней назад

      Thanks, great! Thank you, JESUS, 4 new beginnings, divine connections!

  • @juanderuano8969
    @juanderuano8969 Месяц назад +304

    Excellent video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @elladonaldson-lh6nc
      @elladonaldson-lh6nc Месяц назад +1

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my marriage of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 Месяц назад +1

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

    • @elladonaldson-lh6nc
      @elladonaldson-lh6nc Месяц назад +1

      Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 Месяц назад

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @Sallysask
      @Sallysask Месяц назад +8

      Wow. This comment thread is disturbing. The ex has a right to walk away amd the thoughts expressed amd behaviour being encouraged is bordering on stalking; the fact that people are supporting this mindset is truly frightening.

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh Месяц назад +101

    One thing to consider with narcs though is that there are plenty of them that WILL NOT get involved with you unless they can find something they can hold over you. It can be your kids, something financial, whatever. They don't get involved with people they can't punish for not letting themselves be controlled.

    • @cathywasserman4571
      @cathywasserman4571 Месяц назад +18

      Super spot on! They investigate this very early to discern if they can find that thing to hold over you.

    • @MS-ns4ki
      @MS-ns4ki Месяц назад +5

      Right now financial

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh Месяц назад +6

      @@cathywasserman4571 Exactly. I think even Mental Healness admitted that he does this. This is what makes them especially people no one will want to be around but it's the only way they feel 'protected' in case you get out of line.

    • @cathywasserman4571
      @cathywasserman4571 Месяц назад +2

      @@Liz-wz8dh Yes! What amazes me is how many still manage to have decades long connections of all kinds. The intricate way they maintain control likely accounts for some of this and how covert they are about it, though it’s much more complicated than this explanation I am giving.

    • @icalotdonthide2646
      @icalotdonthide2646 Месяц назад +9

      So they seek dirt on a person before trying to get into a relationship. That's fking bonkers.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u Месяц назад +12

    That makes sense, if they can't control me, they have to end the relationship. They have done that. But, they have spun it that I ended it. I have done nothing but plead to be heard for the last four years.

  • @theresariley1426
    @theresariley1426 Месяц назад +22

    extreme bullying, blackmail, intimidation, threats, etc. That has been my last 1.5 years. It's awful.

    • @Imjustaviewforstudies
      @Imjustaviewforstudies Месяц назад

      That black mailing don't work around here. Especially recording without my permission but go ahead be the goofie. Cops can't do shit but say move out ,they tired of that crazy person calling the cops . Still it was entertaining. Threats well her buddies talk a lot no action.

    • @ivankrushensky
      @ivankrushensky 11 дней назад

      @@Imjustaviewforstudies hi narc

  • @sarahgracetruth
    @sarahgracetruth Месяц назад +13

    You’re explaining EXACTLY what happened to me- abrupt ending when I found out he’s a complete pathological liar- 20 years down the drain- it’s AMAZING to me to see how much he actually never cared about me- it’s so insanely sad.

    • @lijohnyoutube101
      @lijohnyoutube101 Месяц назад +1

      EXACTLY!!! It’s like he never actually cared!

  • @jannamartens9806
    @jannamartens9806 Месяц назад +44

    I find especially lately unhealthy people with bad behaviours don’t want you to improve don’t want you to gain knowledge of a healthy lifestyle and relationships. Once I started researching narcissistic people boundaries and setting boundaries people will encourage you to not learn about unhealthy relationships. They start to use backlash when you set boundaries and they disrespect your boundaries. I did have rage after a domestic violent relationship this does happen you get fed up of men abusing you and people disrespecting you and men and other people using you . But once you respect yourself and know how you deserve to be treated. I no longer date addicts and women beaters only healthy relationships yes I’m picky because I have already survived the biggest user so yes I’m very picky no more unhealthy relationships. Yes I’ve reached step 2 boundaries are so important.

  • @rwdchannel2901
    @rwdchannel2901 Месяц назад +37

    Grey Rock Method is the test that will expose the narcissist. A normal person will not double down on abuse or try to punish someone who uses Grey Rock Method; but a narcissist will double down on abuse or ghost the victim to try and get the victim to feel bad. The narcissist's ego shrivels up without narcissistic supply(The need for admiration from others, attention, feeling superior and in control of people).

    • @qubex
      @qubex Месяц назад +2

      In the final showdown I used the grey rock method and she grew increasingly furious at me, and eventually she stared me down and said "look me in the eyes because this will be the last time you see me", and then she was gone. It has haunted me ever since, and that was more than a year ago.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh Месяц назад +4

      Sometimes. I wouldn't put ALL my faith into grey rock though. Narcs are very prideful people and will just look for ways to get revenge against you regardless.

    • @rwdchannel2901
      @rwdchannel2901 Месяц назад +6

      @@Liz-wz8dh Grey Rock Method is great because it shows the narcissists that you don't need their validation. The narcissist hates that because the narcissist wants to feel in control of you. If the narcissist ghost you, that's an opportunity for you to go no contact. As for revenge from the narcissist, the response will vary depending on what the narcissist does to try and get revenge.

  • @resilient8788
    @resilient8788 Месяц назад +28

    The day I kicked him out, his drunk self was texting his former drug and alcohol counselor that I was trying to attack his body and that he wouldn't blank that pyhco blanking blank for nothing. I had filed to have his squatter self evicted 5 months prior, but the courts kept postponing due to covid period... he took advantage of that. He called the next day and told me he forgave me for calling the police and asked if it was okay to come back. Lol, hell no!
    Narcissistic people don't change. The vicious smear campaigns start long before you even have a clue.
    Peace is paramount.

  • @user-bt4uy8yg3x
    @user-bt4uy8yg3x Месяц назад +11

    They play victim and then demand that you apologize and pay more attention to them.

  • @steves3032
    @steves3032 Месяц назад +21

    Blame shifting, Rage fits, suicide threats and attempts, epic (almost life destroying) discard. Petulant Children acting out with adult consequences impacting themselves or others.

  • @icalotdonthide2646
    @icalotdonthide2646 Месяц назад +19

    I never thought I was the problem. If I was, then wouldn't keep coming back. I just want them to go away, permanently.

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 Месяц назад

      Oh touché very well said, put up with them we did and that quietly and humbley, wanna be narc hubby and I onto our 29th soon and tired of his throwing in my face how I'd begged him not to break up with me (girl's gotta get financially secured somehow, kidding not kidding but of course he didn't have to put the charm on) I say you treated me like a Yo-Yo, he's lucky I put up with him, he went to boarding prep school, he grew up a few doors over but I knew what I was in for but now it's a case of ENOUGH! Blessings to you yes we know there's something wrong with the picture but we like us, do our best they can fix themselves!

  • @mistydmaddera
    @mistydmaddera Месяц назад +26

    I cannot thank you enough for validating the struggles and giving me tools to help endure rather than react.

    • @nils4812
      @nils4812 Месяц назад

      Bonjour mistyd maddera

  • @filmdude5058
    @filmdude5058 Месяц назад +26

    Found out my mom is a narc last year, told my grandmother about it since we always had good relationship, she acted flabbergasted when she heard i called her daughter a narc and started to think of explanations, then after a while she started to convince me i was too harsh and should forget everything, when i refused she backstabbed me and turned my entire family against me, so i blocked everyone who sided with her. Turns out, she was the main narc, so i let her go too.

    • @diamondedevil
      @diamondedevil 9 дней назад

      saamee im no contact w my narc family members (which is funnily enuf my ebtire fuckin family) the creepiest thing of all is how they wanted to know everything sbt my life n would always talk shit abt my life as if i was stupid slow and “behind” when rly i was the one doin THE MOST w the LEAST fuck these ppl theyre pathetic they talk shit meanwhile they dont do jack shit w their lives have no dreams no goals no desire to be better n stay stuck in their same old drab lives festering n growing old… just EW i fuckin hate my family of origin

  • @kimbeck4194
    @kimbeck4194 20 дней назад +5

    This is why, when you start to see the abuse, you actually start questioning whether you are the narcissist!! Because you become angry about the abuse, you become reactive when you start to see it and they will blame you and show you all the ways you’re the one to blame. This is 100%, you’ve got to handle this relationship like a business transaction.

    • @soultaker991
      @soultaker991 19 дней назад +1

      I'm actually facing this right now. She made me feel as though I'm the cause.

    • @bluoval3481
      @bluoval3481 9 дней назад

      @@soultaker991 Complete lack of concern for their own behavior. Which means they want zero accountability and will do all possible to avoid it. Been there, done that!

  • @omvendtslev
    @omvendtslev Месяц назад +21

    Look out for Female covert narcs !!!

    • @tommoyle8330
      @tommoyle8330 23 дня назад +2

      the most dangerous critter on the planet

    • @gwenlittle8100
      @gwenlittle8100 7 дней назад +1

      Yes they push you into crazy land.

  • @ShinedaStonerman
    @ShinedaStonerman Месяц назад +18

    I don’t care about being alone but, the NARCISSISTIC DOES 😂 that’s a scare tactic that no longer works. And they will try and break up and block you first to make it seem like they are right and you’re in the wrong!!!! BYE NARC ✌️

  • @bradhayescamoman9348
    @bradhayescamoman9348 15 дней назад +3

    Their weaknesses are all ego based.. They stopped learning early in life yet believe they know everything.. Use emotions to manipulate & will act childish at times.. Im constantly studying them for their must be a solution found to bridge the gap in some way.. I refuse to believe their isn't a resolution, least for humanity's sake their must be!

  • @iggyman83
    @iggyman83 20 дней назад +4

    I left a narcissist (my wife) and she had multiple fits of rage in the first few months. She tried to backpeddle, has tried to be emotionally manipulative. The turning point for me was that in our marriage nothing ever was good enough for her. I knew then that it wasn't love, it was an unhealthy attachment on both parts. So much happier and healthier now.

  • @obi-wankenobi8462
    @obi-wankenobi8462 19 дней назад +4

    My ex friend narc arranged for homeless people to break into my car while I was at his house. He wanted to stop me from moving out of town. He thought if my stuff was stolen, I wouldn’t be able to leave. Then he offered to buy a replacement for the most important stolen items. I took his money and gtfo’ed. I win!!

  • @TiffaniHenson
    @TiffaniHenson Месяц назад +9

    When they say "I know you dont believe me but ..... its the most unbelievable statement.

  • @rainbowkitty1996
    @rainbowkitty1996 Месяц назад +22

    It’s so screwed up when you get used their verbal abuse. It’s not supposed to feel normal but eventually it does. When you stand your ground and make your boundaries 100% clear, their “script” they follow to manipulate you has to be re-written. Funny how it takes them longer to reply when you stand your ground. Seriously, giving me crap because I sent a good morning text 1.5 hours before she woke up. Well fine then mock me for it…. That argument didn’t end well for her. Why do they wake and decide to be a total a$$ to someone…. So stupid.

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 Месяц назад

      I went through that. If I sent " good morning" texts she wouldn't respond. But if she send one, and I didn't respond she would get upset. I told her the same she told me....I didnt feel the need to respond to every message she sent. Sweet taste of victory is mine. Gorilla warfare. Use their manipulation tactics against them.

  • @HAMZAPINE
    @HAMZAPINE Месяц назад +94

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @fakiriayoub8087
      @fakiriayoub8087 Месяц назад

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @MohamedZaitoun-mh9ht
      @MohamedZaitoun-mh9ht Месяц назад +2

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this
      Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @fakiriayoub8087
      @fakiriayoub8087 Месяц назад

      Is he on instagram?

    • @user-nh5ze8hq5e
      @user-nh5ze8hq5e Месяц назад

      Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.

    • @alisaharwood7077
      @alisaharwood7077 Месяц назад

      Yes they give a place for demons

  • @coach_amy
    @coach_amy Месяц назад +42

    After the initial separation drama.... When they don't get to witness your pain, or when you stop giving them attention or they stop getting attention from the smearing of you, then they simply get bored of you and just continue on with the current sources of supply that they've had all along (in the case of a covert somatic NPD ex partner, this includes their groupies and imaginary lovers who they have fantasized about even in your relationship). It's like you didn't even exist to them.

    • @STEPHANIEENAJE
      @STEPHANIEENAJE Месяц назад +11

      I would love to not exist to them anymore! Leave me in peace.

    • @suedarr197
      @suedarr197 Месяц назад +6

      For a time, they always hoover back..can't help themselves😮

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад +4

      @@suedarr197 Not mine (family of origin and ex partners). It was always me chasing the dangling carrot.
      But I have heard lots of videos and read a lot of comments, like yours, that some do indeed hoover!

    • @suedarr197
      @suedarr197 Месяц назад +5

      @@coach_amy yes, and frequently, no matter if you block in every way, it seems to present a challenge to them..controlling other ppl and whatever is in their surroundings.
      Ppl in control of themselves do not try to control ppl.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh Месяц назад +7

      Yes, but you have to be careful not to give them something they might cling to you for. A LOT of narcs also have BPD and BPD people rarely let anyone go that they can still get something out of.

  • @DEAN_23
    @DEAN_23 Месяц назад +12

    When I called out my narc on their behaviour, and called time on things with them, they tried to apologise, tried to flip the situation, telling me all that I needed to hear, and tried to tell me how we could "fight for the relationship", all while still trying to undermine, devalue, and browbeat me into submission. When that didn't work, they got some flying monkeys to do their bidding. And when they knew that everything they were trying to do wasn't going to work out in their favour this time, they flipped out, and did anything and everything else to try to salvage some control.
    Point is, they didn't see as nothing more than a minion, and underling, if you will, and all because I wanted to find my own way, and not rely on others to do it, this was a true catalyst of such. My advice, always move forward, and never look back.....

  • @queenofhearts7361
    @queenofhearts7361 Месяц назад +11

    Only day three of post trauma bond breakup, trying to stay strong. It's so hard, but he's finally broken me to the point of no return.

    • @zakiyahussein8586
      @zakiyahussein8586 Месяц назад +1

      I’m on day two… stay strong!

    • @oMaJiNo1618
      @oMaJiNo1618 Месяц назад +1

      I know how u feel as I finalize my divorce on Friday. I called and told her I missed her and all I got was an “ok.” She purposely told my oldest son to tell me that she misses me bc she thought I would reach out, but I didn’t. She doesn’t miss me, she misses the idea of me. I miss her, but after seeing her unmasked, I’ll never view her the same or fall for those lousy tricks ever again.

    • @Imjustaviewforstudies
      @Imjustaviewforstudies Месяц назад +2

      If you can sleep in peace and wake up to no pressure. You won especially no babies involved. Just keep swimming

    • @alguedemer
      @alguedemer 29 дней назад +1

      Courage, same here. 2 weeks here.

  • @Mia.Lopes-22
    @Mia.Lopes-22 Месяц назад +6

    My ex when noticing he couldn’t get control back over me, his reaction was accusing me of being inflexible and not fit to live alone, the next step was to threaten me with losing my house and refusing to pay any settlement declaring he has no money. In the end he just confessed to my face “ I am bad and it’s my way of being “ . Narcissists destroy all they touch nothing can flourish near them , they are soulless creatures. I am lucky to have a lawyer and a therapist that believe in me and they are the support I need to come forward to go through with the divorce.

  • @BadStructuralEngineeringFirms
    @BadStructuralEngineeringFirms 14 дней назад +2

    The best way to deal with a narcissistic boss is when I record all their conversations and play them back. The narcs hate it when others see what they have done. I posted their conversations on RUclips.

  • @Joe-hf3cn
    @Joe-hf3cn Месяц назад +3

    From my experience they do this every time when they know I’m on to their game..they run, they go silent as if that’s the ultimate punishment they can inflict upon me.
    They’re the storm that passes through the night. You’re right! I am a badass. What doesn’t destroy me makes me unconquerable 😊

  • @BAsed_AFro
    @BAsed_AFro Месяц назад +6

    Control, Envy, wrath/rage... are EVERYTHING to the NPD case.

  • @tiffanyclark3341
    @tiffanyclark3341 Месяц назад +9

    When they finally realize they can’t control you they get angry! In my case after 20 years this ended up being physical bc nothing else worked anymore ….

    • @tiffanyclark3341
      @tiffanyclark3341 Месяц назад

      The physical rage definitely came after the smear campaigns had come and gone a few years before

  • @anapanchisss
    @anapanchisss Месяц назад +4

    Thank you so much! I needed to watch this today. “You can’t even have a discussion with that person cause you’re not going to get what you want from this person!” Wooof so true

  • @ricksantiago702
    @ricksantiago702 Месяц назад +4

    Couldn’t agree more ! What I’ve done is just avoid them. They finally figure out I don’t play their game. They find another and move on

  • @app13s33d
    @app13s33d Месяц назад +5

    Wow. Tysm for this! Now i understand why my narc hated it when i seemed nonchalant to his tantrums. Because im a teacher, controlling my emotions is second nature and he would get upset that he couldnt make me mad or rage out. He blamed that i didnt care because i wasnt angry. Now i know no, i do care - im just in control. Tyty

    • @babblesp1367
      @babblesp1367 Месяц назад

      Funny. The person I’m dealing with is a teacher. I’m thinking, control your students-not me.

  • @ronnieburklew1002
    @ronnieburklew1002 25 дней назад +2

    You are right on point with everything you said. I'm going through a divorce/custody battle. The kids are my weakness and she knows it and uses it against me constantly. She doesn't care if she is negatively hurting the kids as long as she hurts me!

  • @Trixie_Django
    @Trixie_Django Месяц назад +9

    I adore you... thank you so much. I've been going through an absolute hell with an upstairs neighbor couple who are older and clearly NPD as well as the guy being a sociopath. It's horrifying how they've put me through literally every test and pattern that I've learned on these personality types online. Unfortunately, because I'm no longer playing the game or responding in any way whatsoever, I can tell they're about to get ugly and turn up the heat. It's heartbreaking that anyone can even do this to a neighbor who has lived here 2 years longer than them and was nothing but kind and welcoming to them when they moved in 11 months ago. They are retired and home 24/7 and that's also how much time they spend on harassing me. It's literally the most bizarre situation I've ever encountered but also exhausting and often frightening even though I never let them see that.

    • @angelinaesposito3058
      @angelinaesposito3058 Месяц назад +2

      A Bully is Only being a Bully because You are giving him permission. Stand up to the Bully. 0 Tolerance. Most will slink away under the rock & Leave you alone. With others You have to keep a written record & keep a written record with the authorities also So You are prepared for Court

    • @Trixie_Django
      @Trixie_Django Месяц назад

      ​@@angelinaesposito3058 I wish it were that easy. I have stood up to them multiple times now and it's not worth it with these people because as narcs go... they spin you right into a word salad, play forgetful and have no idea what I'm talking about and then say we should all have a barbecue. Then as soon as we all go back inside where there are no witnesses... right back to harassing me. So I no longer engage them and yes, I have documented every time several times a day for 10 months of this as well as tons of recording. So I am very prepared if it ever really hits the fan. And TRUE... they are bullies and also cowards but it's all a game to them so I've learned it's best to just give them ZERO energy or supply at this point. Still a tough ride though and especially knowing they do this intentionally. They want me to react more than anything so I'm the one evicted and leaving in cuffs. Truly evil.

    • @Sarah-nx1vl
      @Sarah-nx1vl 24 дня назад +1

      Am so sorry you are going through this. Can you get cameras fitted? Also record them when they behave this way, discreetly, gives you evidence. These people have too much time on their hands and that is dangerous. I am in a similar situation due to a narc ex smearing and sorry to say, am now selling up and moving on. Life is a game to these awful people and it's no joke when they fixate on you and so close to your home, your sanctuary! It's a horrendous experience and only you know what is best for you to do. Be well and protect your peace and mental health.

    • @Trixie_Django
      @Trixie_Django 23 дня назад

      @@Sarah-nx1vl Thanks so much and yes, I've been recording and documenting everything for 11 months now. It truly is all a game to them and everyone assumes you can just tell these people where to go but they're only going to double-down if I confront them with the actual anger I feel so I've had to just play it smart and quiet and hope and wait. I'm sorry you're going through something similar. I don't wish it on anyone. My home was once my sanctuary and oasis but now it feels more like a prison cell. It's just mindblowing how these people have zero boundaries.

  • @abroadmentally5127
    @abroadmentally5127 Месяц назад +3

    Married to this type of woman for 19 years and seriously thought I was going crazy. I never thought about this but hearing these tactics makes everything come together. 😢

  • @marilynng4337
    @marilynng4337 Месяц назад +12

    They will give the silent treatment, too. I hate this behavior so much
    The narc in my life is my adult son and his wife. They use my grandkids to weaponize me

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 Месяц назад

      Hi my daughter does this, used my husband to weaponize me, ha! Said she's a little old to be playing daddy's girl at 28, has an ultra rich fiancee but and now I'm giving her a taste of her own medicine which undoubtedly doesn't take taste very good, my husband took me on a wonderful vacation, my son and his fiancee again this fall, I b-fed her for 2.5 yrs, became a stay at home mom, gave her colleges/universities of her choice then she whines about the price of everything I reminded her I'd told her not to move out while at uni, blocked me a yr so to fix me? She can join that club and call 1-800-we-don't-give a fvck but I think the lines engaged! Get your strenght back, let him gnaw on the wife & kids, hopefully you'll be up for it when they open their eyes, how's it going to be in a decade they call the shots now? At 60 my daughter insisted that I do a living will, hun? Nope and aren't my son and his fiancee nurses who say her attitude isn't good for her, she'll have to smarten up or she doesn't get me and my family gatherings, her fiance's family is all abroad (my husband's too so I know how robbed one can be) she'll have to change her tune/reshuffle her deck, I won't be worshipping her!

    • @Textemple
      @Textemple Месяц назад +5

      You sure you weren't a shitty mom to him?

    • @ericamee5285
      @ericamee5285 Месяц назад

      I am in the same situation right now , after 7 years of him trashing me through other people he called me yesterday as he's now homeless, he hasn't spoken to me for 3 years , has abused his ex and he now hasnothing ... how do we turn the mother switch off though 😢

  • @silviacarolinalangowski8442
    @silviacarolinalangowski8442 13 дней назад +1

    In order to make him leave my home and not get his rage, following me around and screaming at me if I didn't engage, I had to tell him that “ I” needed to work on myself, practically I was testing the blame I even cried not because I was sad but because I was being so fake and even manipulative, I felt like a horrible person… He left thinking that I loved him, I don't he was a horrible person and my kids had to experience his abuse!
    I will never put myself nor my kids in such a toxic situation again, yes I am struggling with financial issues but I am at peace now!

  • @resinheaven8888
    @resinheaven8888 4 дня назад

    Stephanie . I've watched hundreds of video's about Narcism in families. This video absolutely explains everything!. THANK YOU for this post. It will help lots of people, including myself!

  • @natee.4517
    @natee.4517 Месяц назад +12

    The thing is that most men do not want to do any mental work- trust me ladies, as a straight man, it disgusts me as well! Keep putting that work in everyone-

  • @nicolehayes6020
    @nicolehayes6020 Месяц назад +6

    Yep these people are just SO SO SO MUCH! My lord! The part I just don’t understand is how they know exactly what they’re doing but keep doin it over and over again….

    • @bluoval3481
      @bluoval3481 9 дней назад

      It's really a form of mental illness IMHO. And when one is sick in the head, sometimes their mind will trick them into believing what they say and do can't possibly be wrong.

  • @T2Master01
    @T2Master01 6 дней назад +1

    Im quite thankful that i somehow had the knowledge of knowing what these bad actors wanted and not giving it to them.

  • @loeuvremanic4835
    @loeuvremanic4835 10 дней назад

    Two years going No contact; I still suffer PTSD, nightmares and everything time I still remember the voice of the Narc in my head. I feel the guilt of being in that relationship, the lying, the gaslighting and the manipulation.
    The Narcissistic abuse taught me how to manage my empathy, how to not be exploited and stop endless forgiving.
    Good luck to everyone in your healing journey

  • @andreariegler
    @andreariegler Месяц назад +4

    My former toxic boss set me free with his tantrum. 15 months til the mask slipped, 1 month from that til the unraveling. I went silent when mask slipped and pulled no contact reverse discard when he wanted his episode to be a public performance in front of his customers. 3 strikes put him out, freedom is sweet. Blocked everywhere

  • @tonyg3605
    @tonyg3605 Месяц назад +5

    They good absolutely bonkers, I just have to remember that I’m dealing with a toddler in a grown man’s body.

    • @mollyangel8966
      @mollyangel8966 24 дня назад

      I just had a situation with a perfectly nice person at work
      After I had taken a call, he wanted to look at my computer screen to critique something he thought I had said wrong. Then when a colleague asked me a question about it because the call was originally for her, he did not let me speak, he answered as if I was not there. I did not deal with it very well at first. I was passive aggressive. Eventually sending a message to home apologising for that but letting him know he overstepped and to not do that again. He did this a few times before but it really got to me this time. His little boy inside is always screening for our manager to see him. LOOK AT ME, he obviously denied what he did and said he was sorry if I felt that way

  • @njseashorechas2698
    @njseashorechas2698 20 дней назад +2

    You always nail it Steph! I didn't realize how much of a narc, manipulator, con artist she was until It was over. Of course I ignored all the red flags after the honeymoon phase. She had a hysterical meltdown and blamed me when we ended our 'friendship'.

  • @valerierobertson6334
    @valerierobertson6334 7 дней назад

    Yip!! Word for word is how my mother treats me. I’m over it and am holding her accountable. The most disgusting thing is after she was cruel to me for years and years, I was still in the guilt phase and ended up having a breakdown. When I got to the hospital, she sent me a message about how awful I am and blocked me. Then I blocked her back and she was furious. Secondly, she turned my entire family against me so they didn’t invite me for Christmas and on Christmas Day she messaged me and told me ‘ see what an awful person you are that you’re all alone at Christmas’

  • @rosaliaoliver-qv3gr
    @rosaliaoliver-qv3gr Месяц назад +5

    ❤Thank you Stephanie❤ for one more wonderful video!❤it open our eyes!❤

  • @lonjemariesfashions5117
    @lonjemariesfashions5117 Месяц назад +11

    Thank you 🙏🏾
    And by the way, I hope I don’t offend you when I say you are absolutely beautiful and I love your voice .I mean you no harm I just literally love giving compliments , and boosting people up. Thank you for what you do.

    • @erinlarkin6469
      @erinlarkin6469 Месяц назад +5

      Do we actually live in a time where we have to apologise for giving a compliment

    • @patjones2082
      @patjones2082 Месяц назад

      She is pretty, inside and out. Smart, too!

  • @Pablodwnunda
    @Pablodwnunda 21 день назад +2

    I watched all of this. Thank you!! I was married for 11 years and the whole time I kept forgiving her for cheating. She had broken me a long time ago and my heart couldn’t take it anymore. She finally kicked me out when I discovered she is with her x again. She had no rock to hide behind. But still, she denied it even after looking at a photo of them lol. Yeah I miss my kids deeply and it’s affected them really badly. Note to self: triple check b4 breeding.

  • @SuperReasonabledoubt
    @SuperReasonabledoubt Месяц назад +7

    Never wanted the narcissist around

  • @stevesanders8523
    @stevesanders8523 Месяц назад +2

    I view all your videos over and over again, as reassurance that I was not crazy. Watching your videos multiple times is like I’m being deprogrammed. It’s reassuring to know I wasn’t crazy.

  • @itstiminhere1
    @itstiminhere1 6 дней назад

    Excellent description. Thank you for putting the information out there.

  • @justrosy5
    @justrosy5 Месяц назад +3

    Step 1: Don't care what they think, feel, say, do, or want.
    Step 2: Don't react.
    Step 3: Do what you were already doing or going to do, and don't base it on anything having to do with them.
    Step 4: Work towards and gain financial and social independence, get therapy, and don't discuss any of it with them.
    Step 5: Leave, block, change contact info/move, and go "No Contact" where possible. If that's not possible, be bored with them, don't give them any information, and don't confide in people who know them.
    Step 6: Focus on living your own life as you see fit, and get to know better people when possible.

  • @davidmclendon3670
    @davidmclendon3670 Месяц назад +2

    Thank you so much. You're such a blessing!

  • @JackNance22
    @JackNance22 Месяц назад

    Brilliant post, you hit the nail on the head in a clear and concise way.

  • @carvinbethea.9115
    @carvinbethea.9115 Месяц назад +2

    Everything she says word for word is nothing but FACTS 💯

  • @erichoben4125
    @erichoben4125 Месяц назад +4

    Thank you .
    Im learning how to deal with all the abuse my wife put me through for the past 16 months .

  • @MyFaith2012
    @MyFaith2012 Месяц назад +3

    Dealing with this in my office, women in mgmt team, and no one above them is checking them or holding them accountable. Thank you.

    • @bluoval3481
      @bluoval3481 9 дней назад

      I'm truly sorry this sick minded employee continues to wreak havoc on you, your company and all persons involved. Sometimes these types of employees are protected and it can sometimes be very difficult to get them out of the company. Obviously the smartest thing to do is get rid of them, but sometimes we have to find another company to work for. Not saying that's what you have to do in your case, but it might be.

  • @pamelawinter4956
    @pamelawinter4956 10 дней назад

    Thank you so much for making this video you are so articulate, empowering, and all around lovely! Sending loving to everyone else in this situation! Be strong everyone🩵

  • @belledear54
    @belledear54 24 дня назад +2

    Im dealing with the narcissistic rage rn 😢 being horrible. Cause im just over it. Hed always have these sob stories before and ofc i felt bad. But doesnt work anymore after 7 years.

  • @soniaochieng
    @soniaochieng Месяц назад +5

    ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

  • @juliocastillo6962
    @juliocastillo6962 Месяц назад +6

    I love your videos. You have helped me so much in this transition through hell with the F#$%G I$%#&T narcissist. Thank you!