Emotional Manipulator Tactics and What They Say!
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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I read a quote once " People in therapy often ended up in therapy because of the people in their life that actually needed therapy" So true!
How true is that!!!
It’s always about the interaction that causes the problem. Not one person.
Me 👋 it was my ex covert's idea that we go to couples therapy to fix me. I asked her if there was anything that she needed to work on. Nope. I thought whatever, the therapist will work that out.
Wow!!! Pure truth! Never thought of it that way
Something I have thought of recently. It might not be you who are the problem, but someone close to you..
Raise your hand if your done being manipulated 🙋♀️🙋🙋♂️🖐️
I'm done, I give it back . 😀
Yes I am had to finally drop the one that used me for everything.
😉 ✋️ high 5
I am and so are people in the future that will read slander and realise there was no evidence from wonky islander criminals writing nonsense about me nor the narcissist uncle pair calling police on potential police certificate NFAs.
I, after almost 3 years of “marriage” had to let her go but she still try to manipulate me why to not let her go and she still can behave the way she is… but im still not over the good times we had, so i had to go trough a teraphy(still not healed) to accept myself so i can be happy without her and be happy with my self
I wish this was taught to teenagers. Young people need to know about this kind of thing as soon as possible
grade school.
Totally agree 💕
I feel like my family kept me in the dark on purpose so they could control me. It's all about power in toxic families.
hello friend i feel your pains 😥😥😥
*do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now*
*I know of a spiritual man that can help you☺️
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
One of my therapists told me, before she retired, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression, anxiety or any sort of mental illness, check to see if you're surrounded by assholes, first." She was right!
Now, that's a wise therapist you had. 👍
😂 did she mention to be persuasive, and check out the 3 persuasive appeals. If not with holding the truth is manipulative. Persuasive words Sooth the mind. Manipulative words bring more mental illness with the duality of emotions. It’s basically how it’s put, manipulative vs persuasive.(image on google.)( google: manipulative tactics list.)(psychology is like economics it’s easy to learn.)
I tried to tell mine this as a child 🤦🏾♀️
Wow ! Truth spoken!!!!!!!
At 63, I've come to believe that I no longer need anyone, but choose those who also do not need anyone. The relationship is free of manipulation and moves on its own freedom. If a friend needs a hand, they just say it. If I can help, I do, if I can't, I don't. And these friends do not hold me hostage to their needs. Once they get help from their circle, we continue our relationship with grace and joy. That's what healthy boundaries do for a person. I also have Faith in a loving gracious God who is teaching me all I need to know to live life to its fullness.
No matter what we do there is always a bit of manipulation. Ads, tv show, government, everything pulls and twist our belief in one way shape or form. It's those who use it in the act to harm other is when it's wrong and what the purpose behind it is. I don't see anything wrong with people are manipulating others to help them improve their well being. But when one does it to control and hurt others, I don't agree with.
These are the kind of relationships I really like. I'm an introvert, I keep my nose out of other's business and people in the family get annoyed with me and label me distant. Btw, these same family members have caused me a lot of trauma and thrive on drama which I absolutely detest! It's crazy how they think I'm the problem.😊
Thank you for this post ❤ Very helpful to me.
This is how I am and the people I've met say they're the same, but they aren't and I don't know how to delete these kinds of guys from my life easy, it always turns out bad. What do I even say?
Amen!
I met a new friend the other day and she was bossing me around telling me where to move my car etc. I finally had to say to her, "Thanks for your permission," and kind of laughed it off. She took it personally and I could see in her face she was like, whoa? Normally I wouldn't say anything but I did and I'm glad I did. 🧡
hello friend i feel your pains 😥😥😥
*do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now*
*I know of a spiritual man that can help you☺️
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Let them go manipulate there own family ! Please they are narcissist trying to control
Ummm did she fit the description of this video or was she just trying to help you find a good spot to park your car? Was she being forceful? Or was she Just trying to be helpful?Etc .. I ask because your response kind of threw me off as well … the other responses didn’t…Was this a new area for you & she was sharing what works because she knows the area? Are you a a person who prefers to do things on your own? Or are you a person who only accepts advice when you ask for it? We have to be careful because not everything is narcissism. Sometimes we are in a “fight or flight “ mode due to our past & we can project that onto someone by mistake… just food for thought 🤗 .. or maybe there wasn’t enough details for me to see the picture clearly 🤷🏽♀️😂😂😂😂😝
@@s.z.407 Correct, their comment wasn't really clear. Need more information. If I was helping someone and they said "thanks for your permission" I would have reacted the same way :D
Pro tip: if you feel like most interactions with an individual make you feel involuntarily vulnerable, be sure they are subtly deconstructing your boundaries so they can control you and the relationship.
👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 cuz u def feel it.
This Awakened Soul ,knows the causes of others as they do, what my boundaries are and know long before I let on I know, and when u wrk with ppl on constant bc we all need work ,yet an aware person can trust yer guys or listen to an unaware mind and y'all come round my God within me will know your intents by what it sesnse so I'm aware
yes
It’s not just fear guilt or shame. It’s also empathy. They’ll test you to see if they should play person in distress to manipulate your desire to alleviate another’s suffering or to save them.
That's guilt.
I totally agree! I feel shameful and resentful at times. Shameful for what the actions I took, and what I’ve said in anger or frustration. Resentful because of the way I acted and the way I went about it!
It’s amazing to watch (from afar): they can go from fear to empathy in less than 1 second! Like turning off a light switch. When I noticed that (was there all along tho), I realized this was hopeless! It’s all about needing to control to feel better about themselves.
@@christineribone9351Wanting t8help others is NOT guilt. If you think so, then you obviously lack kindness and compassion.
@@wordsculpt when did I say "guilt"?
My vulnerable narcissist almost ex husband found a book I was reading to educate myself on realizing if your being manipulated and controlled and I woke up one morning to him raging screaming at me that I was manipulating and controlling him. I asked how and he just screamed things that didn’t make sense. I was scared and feared him, his rage was scary I found myself crying and apologizing TO HIM…it’s messed up. I escaped from that marriage and the divorce is almost final. If you are going through this please get out IT WILL GET WORSE.
Yeah. They always think in manipulation schemes because that's what they do every day. They cannot understand that some people are so unversed in manipulation that they need to read about it to understand what's going on. He revealed himself as manipulator when he instantly thought badly about you. I hope your life will get better and happier from now on.
Your right..
Bless you ❤️
You took your power back, good for you!!
My ex tried to criticize and attack me for reading a book on how to be a better Father during our divorce. Imagine being intimidated by someone who wants to have better relationships with their children?! How dare I! Lol
I always wondered why I felt so stuck. Why am I still living with my mom at 30yo?? Now I realize she was using fear, obligation, guilt, and shame in the guise of love to keep me shackled to her. It's a complete mind F. Now that I am in the process of moving out, the abuse and manipulation has become so much worse. Videos like these help me remember that it's NOT me and I'm not crazy lol
Wow I am in that situation right now.
Hi Kara I am cheering you on. You can do it. I went thru the same thing with my family years ago. They will make you feel you won't survive. Trust me you will. I got out and I have more than survived. Sending you hugs of strength 💪
And they might appear to improve when the outcome is guaranteed to be even WORSE. 58yo wise now
Kara, Hold your ground, be brave, forge your own way in life. It's worth it. Been there many years ago, literally ran away in 1 night. No regrets ever. Be happy! Hug!
How are you now? Did you make it out?
Omg the victim complex with narcs is unreal. He would treat me like shit then look for sympathy by making things about him. That is the biggest red flag i will not fall for that again.
You explanied this so well, thank you!
mmhm. my dad still does this. every week like clockwork he is essentially a big baby who needs coddled when he is feeling abusive.
That’s what my partner does! It’s crazy making. I hate egg shells!!!
@@jennifervaughn6230
A relative of mine does this to me all the time and it's really making me unhappy.
So you nip it by saying, "Clearly, I must be the problem here so I'm going to remove myself from this relationship." Bye!
Then wait for their freak out control tactics to Amp up instantly! They do know what they're doing. I fully believe that and I am a therapist. 💙
Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,
Please list the counter tactics
Thank you SO much
You've explained the unexplainable
Oh wow, you literally just explained my life for the last year! I was on here to gain knowledge on how to leave we don’t live together so I thought it would be easy but he seems to talk me out of it every time I try!
This explains my coworker to the tee!
Thank you for posting your comment with the invaluable information that you shared. If I had known this 2.5 years ago, I would have never have let my ex-narcissist husband in the front door. It was so obvious that something was tragically “off” yet I could not fully comprehend it and did not have prior experience with the dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist. Hindsight is 25/20 👁️👁️ Thank you again! 🙏🏻
I have BPD, and I can relate to being manipulated in all three areas, AND manipulating others in all three areas. I will say this, I wasn’t really aware that I was very manipulative. I am beginning to understand why I react in certain ways, and also how it’s manipulative. I am growing and learning and being my highest self more and more every day ♥️
I really like that you are so willing to share your flaws, as we all have them. Your self-awareness and motivation to change points to a healthy well-being. There aren’t many people courageous enough to speak so openly on a public forum. Well done!
@@k8marlowe thank you! It’s very new to me being able to speak about it. It’s extremely liberating being able to speak out in a healthy way 🤗
Good on you. Very brave.
@@shelleyd9910 thank you!
I believe that most people that are manipulative, controlling, and abusive aren't even aware of it. Unless they are the high level abusers, that is-those people know they are and like being that way; the rest of us are just pawns to be played with for them.
Anyway, being like that is a defense mechanism for someone who has been wounded in the past.
The first step to healing is to be aware of it. Now keep trying to change, because everyone changes all the time. It's up to us if we get better or worse.
My narcs favourite phrases when I raise an issue
"Why are you blaming/ attacking me"
"I don't want to argue"
"I can't be listening to your anger"
"I'm sorry for the bad things you think ive done "
"I'm not the bad guy here, you did xxxxx"
"You should let go of the past"
"It's not all about you"
"I'm sorry, happy now?!!"
🙄🙄🙄😓😓😓
The “happy now?” Yess
Yep!
Omg, the “happy now “ part got me. I can’t believe I dated the king manipulator.
Stay away from that person. None of that is healthy.
Dear Lord mine used every single One of these
No communication is the best way to escape a narcissistic relationship. I had to learn this the hard way. If I gave him an inch he would take a mile. There are some narcissists that are so manipulative and crafty that even talking to them for a minute can be a huge mistake. I know it's hard because it has been hard for me it's really cutting them off completely!! 🙏💪 I understand the anxiety and separation anxiety because they have trained their victims to become codependent. It does take time to detox from a narcissistic relationship. I am in counseling myself! It's important that you have a counselor someone that can affirm you. I believe once you are aware of their evil tactics and the manipulation that opens your consciousness to be able to receive change..
If they have insulted you then when you meet them they say "are we ok?" Like I'm the problem. Or all this I've been so busy lately, up the walls i can't cope . Funny how they find the time when they need money
You’re exactly right talking to the narcissistic specially in coparenting can trap you into having your child turned around on you and they are very good and it takes years to figure it out and now I can talk to my ex and hear exactly the BS coming out of his mouth I see how you twist things I seen it in the movie once and I think it was the movie what about Bob.
Narcissist make the perfect recruiters for big crimes!!!
Agreed
That's basically a passive aggressive response. Be Honest with them... realizing their own choices aren't coming from a place where they are honest with themselves. Call them out, and walk away.
Thank you so much! I’ve been both the manipulator and the manipulated! Childhood wounds are at the core! I’ve been a people pleaser most of my life!
That checks out as manipulators often blame their circumstances to excuse their behavior. We've all got some in us; owning it is the best way to get off that high horse.
This perfectly describes who I've been
You come to Christ & give Him the wounds & trauma. You make a conscious choice to forgive and it takes time. That's what worked for me. I had a horrific & devastating upbringing. Pretty demonic.
Same...sending healing streams of grace. I dream of running Away and becoming a recluse.
Same!
This is so true , little digs .... I ignored , carried on happy , as I was ... the person kept coming... i smiled ....I walked away xx I feel better without the negatively, no one needs that . If you ever feel you mood going down around someone , that take it as a sign , they are not for you xx
When my manipulative ex broke up with me, she accused me of being codependent and suggested I get therapy.
In therapy I learned about narcissists… and the world started to make sense again.
Glad it makes sense. Once you know it is like doing a drug for the first time, clarity. Bad example but you get the drift.
This was so spot on. I’d like to share the one time I came up with a slap-down comment I made to my ex-Narc boyfriend. He used to love to make little biting comments to me to make me feel bad, fear/shame, etc., and I would always snap back from an unhealthy emotional stance. But, one morning he was looking at my face very closely in the morning light, and he said, “you’re starting to get a lot of little fine lines and wrinkles on your face. (I was about all of 25). For the first time, I remained calm and replied, “that’s OK, honey, because no matter how old I get, you’ll always be ten years older”. He was so ego-driven, and thought of himself as a Casanova, and he was just left speechless after I said that. Maybe it was a bit tactless, but it sure made me feel good. Yeah, I know, tit-for-tat, but it shut him up. He was always trying to make me feel insecure, so I thought it was fair.
* I forgot to mention that after he made the remark about the lines and wrinkles on my face he added, “I might have to trade you in for a newer model one of these days.” That was especially biting and cruel.
I think he deserved a dose of truth. Don't feel bad about what you said.
Good for you. He sounded like he deserved a taste of his own medicine.
Time to leave him & let him find a newer model wish him luck.!
You should have said" yes I was thinking I may have to do the same."
I would tell him he better get a better job or have a good paying job because now he’s going to pay for your Botox for a comment like that on a 25 year old girl he is not a man a man would not say that to a woman he’s got a lot of growing up to do
Something that really has helped me is this statement or mantra
“IAM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS HAPPINESS “
I would say that to my ex often, been happily single since.
some people cannot be alone... I am learning this as a hard lesson. I have been used to stay by myself but some people are not. They always have to have people who approve them and say nice things. They are in other words, very insecure about who they are. Unless someone compliments and verify what they say or think, they cannot function almost. This is so much burden on the side of people who are ok to be alone. I am not able to provide those who constantly need support. I am not for that. I am done being used in any shape or form as I don't do that to other people (at least I try to notice if I do and correct it right away so that I don't use other's energy).
Omg!!!! I’m in tears!!!! You just don’t know how much this video blessed me this morning… I’m in a relationship with a Master Manipulator and I’m getting out!
Hi hope you got out 💕 I’ve been out of mine for 2 years and the best thing that ever happened to me. Blessings on top of blessings. And people always tell me I look so alive and vibrant!
You can do it and get ready for them to suddenly being so much love with you and want to give you everything that they haven't been giving you now. But it's a pack of ice just to get you back cuz it took a lot of work to manipulate you enough to do the things that you do for this person and the sacrifices that you made and maybe even changed personality in ways that might actually be changed forever just because you've been in this relationship. It will take a little while to find yourself again you've probably been isolated kept away from your friends and family so that they've been the center of your attention and focus. But you will rebuild your friendships again and your family will be incredibly supportive and you will become closer to them than you ever were because they were also afraid that they had lost you just like you're going to be afraid that you lost you but you didn't you just put you on hold for a little bit hid yourself away for your own protection because deep down inside you knew the real you doesn't deserve this treatment.
Yea they drain in every area
Run !
Patrice, please marry me!
Yes! My toxic family has used all 3 of these tactics. It's all about the narcissistic personality controlling the narrative of the story. I had to go no contact. These people will never change so I had to.
Wow the exact same for me!
Same here❤
2 younger sister in Bay Area CA 🥜nuts!
What did you do to change.
The day i was first successful in refusing to put up with this type of persons abuse was hands down the most empowering, validating, moment of my life!!
So crazy the world we live in where we all need a lesson is psychology 101 just to date these days! 👍 Very validating thank you
I have the degree and married a master manipulator! They DO NOT TEACH this!!! I’m getting the PhD now! Self taught!!!
@@Portia620 this is what I've Heard. That they don't teach enough of this when you're going to school to become a therapist. Maybe criminal psychology?
Stay single
@@Italiangirlnj747 Man o Man I invited my high school sweetheart to come and stay with me after not talking to her for 45 years back in Aug. She was in the area trying to get help from a accident that left her with TBI, She is a very awesome person, I had told her I was not interested in a relationship at all but would love to help. So she ended up making me cave in and it was not hard because she is a very loving person, after about 3 weeks she kept distancing herself from me. We still got along but the intimate part was fading and fast, It has been so stressful my anxiety has been thru the roof. I had to ask her to leave, i was so content being single @ 60 yrs. old and now I have to live with this quilt all over again. What I guess I'am trying to say is you're correct relationships are wonderful if the chemistry is right but staying single is not that bad either.
Haha! Thats funny, but true.
This was super helpful. Dealt with this recently with a friend I had to cut out of my life. Thanks! I didn't realize silent treatment wss a form of gaslighting. I feel better knowing this now
hello friend i feel your pains 😥😥😥
*do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now*
*I know of a spiritual man that can help you☺️
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Well done 👏🏾
Me too!!!
Silent treatment from them is a form of " punishment "... if I'm silent it's peace and I've removed myself mentally and physically from the situation.
My Narcissistic wife used all 3 tactics on me. Fear, Guilt and Shame. I now realized this after 9 years of being abused. Great job calling out these behaviour themes and these need to be understood by people who are suffering emotional abuse.
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
I hear the acronym"FOG," used a lot with cluster B personality d/o types....Fear, Obligation, and Guilt.
Same here man
Ditto
damn i think i'm recovering from my ex. She destroyed me in ways I can't even Say. Need a detox of 1 year I think
I stopped associating with one “dear” friend, because I always left not feeling good about myself, and then I realized that he was the problem, and so I’ve been much happier since ;)
Praise God!
good job
I lived with a man that did all this to me during our 23 years together. It took me years of therapy to move on with my life without feeling crazy over all the evil done to me. But thank God today I'm free from all that. I'm filled with the Holy spirit now.
So grateful and happy that you found the peace and divine love that you always needed.
Praise God!
Praise God!
Consistent phrases from emotional manipulators 'I'm doing YOU a favour! I'm trying to help you!' said in a tone that is evident that they feel you are totally unworthy of the basics they are doing trying to disguise as a diamond ring
Say it louder!!
Nothing makes it worse when THEY ALWAYS BRING UP “I have done this for you! I’ve always been there for you! Blah blah blah” like mf.. YOU’RE THE REASON WHY IM LEAVING
Every time it happens to me I ask why? Why are they so mean to me? And you explained it so perfectly Stephanie. This brought me so much peace and confidence. Thank you
my mother is a manipulator and has severe anger issues, I grew up completely unaware and thought it was normal whenever she abused me mentally or physically, to her that was "raising me", she blamed me for things that were not my fault such as her fights with my dad, eventually I met my Boyfriend who met my family, he saw the way the treated me and he told me that was manipulation and that was toxic.
right then and there I moved out, and my family consider it betrayal that I left them and my mom would send me text messages like "how could you do this to me, I'm your mother, I raised you and fed you, thats how you repay my hard work?" the hardest part was realizing it wasn't normal but here I am watching this video in my healing journey.
Tell your mom next time that it was her choice to give birth to you and if one could choose their parents she wouldn’t be your mom either. She should thank you for being a great daughter and you’re forced to move out because of her lack of appreciation . Just use the same guilt manipulation she uses against her, like a mirror.
@@terriblepainter7675 she was not actually planning to have me I was an accident, I have 4 siblings and she tried to abort me but God had arranged for me to live. everyone in my family is toxic, I was the one that broke the cycle so I am grateful to have had the chance to move out and start over, I have confronted my siblings who are also manipulative, through text since my mother does not was to speak to me, I told them I left because of X y and Z but they still dont want to put the effort to listen and understand, and say things to me like "thats not the sister that I grew up with! who is putting such ideas in your head?" so I dont try anymore I just focus on myself. thank you though.
Jori, you and I could be twins. Your story is so close to my story; 5 children (I’m the last, 16 years difference between oldest and me), Mom full of anger & manipulation & guilt, met my boyfriend ( married 30 years, best friend); he rescued me from my family and their toxic darkness. I broke the mold and have beautiful relationships with the most important ones in my life. I try to remain contactless as much as possible, but times have called me back once in a while. I then find myself in disbelief of their ugly & mean ways and dark hearts towards most everyone. I become physically sick around them and have to reset myself once again. Thank God for freedom and life!! Good luck to you, stay strong it’s so worth it💝
Always takes an outsider to shine light on it😢 been there
saying that as in she did you some kinda favor when you had no say so in being here and the fact she was LEGALLY obligated to crazy
It's really not worth being in a relationship with this constant psychological abuse.....life is too short to put up with it.
Enough enough ENOUGH
Speaking of which: does she ever say the phrases that she says the manipulator would say? I never heard them...
Why I stayed single for over 15 years. I was happy and content with my life and not willing to settle.
Right sometimes they your family. But I don’t think self esteem has anything to do. They just want to duck ya over
I recall the day I said NO MORE. So liberating🤩
She finally gets to the point after 6:00
Thank you
And even then she doesn’t say much.
Thanks.
😂..I was starting to nod off, thanks
Thanks 🤗
Im here to share my testimony! I had encounter on July 31, 2021 late night in my bedroom. I had just left my abusive husband police wouldnt do nothing when he showed up at my house because "he didnt touch you" although there was history of TPO's and police reports. That night in bed I was gripped by intense anxiety. I was terrified he would show up and hurt me this time. I was laying in bed crying and groaning of the fear. I then heard a clear audible voice in my head that was loud enough to hear over my sobbing. He said " Do you not believe God creator of heaven & earth is more powerful then your husband? I replied through my tears "Yes, Yes I do!" I then cried out to God to help me and protect me and I would live for Him. At that moment a peace that cant be described came over me and I fell asleep the whole night. The next morning I woke up with peace and knew everything would be ok. I know it was the Holy Spirit because at that moment it never occurred to me to cry out to God. After that encounter I have a strong desire to live for Jesus, read bible, pray and live a holy life. My love for Jesus has grown, my faith and a intimate relationship with my Savior is growing deeper by the day❤️🔥 Hallelujah. Praise God.❤❤
John 6:44 and that is what happened that night to me.
Since that night everything between my husband is peaceful, still separated but peaceful. My husband never returned to my house nor has laid hands on me. If you knew my husband you wouldnt recognize him now!! It was all God. Hallelujah to the highest
No, you do not give YOURSELF enough credit here. While you may have used a bible verse to snap yourself out of it, YOU did that all on your own. You made the decision to not let him rule you with fear. You picked yourself up and did that with the HELP of faith, but not fully due to it. By all means, keep your faith, but give yourself far more credit for your own actions in saving yourself.
I have an acquaintance that will not accept that I don’t want to hug him or be hugged. He will not let it go. He’ll go as far as trying to convince me that it’s OK. I’ve stood my ground.
My narc husband always says we are the way we are because we are products of our parents and there is nothing we can do to change. Convenient!
You could change everything in one decision. Don't waste the precious life you were given to live with this abuser.
Well that is true. I find myself saying that a lot as a reminder that I have worked and will work harder to break that pattern. Saying you can't/won't change...yeah, I heard that a few times.
We have the reactions/responses we have due to our past and our relational knowledge due to our childhood but it’s certainly changeable
My ex was diagnosed bpd and then used it as an excuse for her behaviour lol. Like she could do whatever she wanted now and she would say it as if she was proud of it
The person I dealt with figured out that the way to control me was through fear. I was always a fearful person since I was a child and he saw that right away. He loved playing with my fear, the more scared and the more my anxiety would rise the more he enjoyed it. It worked for a while until I figured it out. I never trusted him again with my fears. He then moved on to guilt when I figured it out he moved to shame. Each worked for a while until I would figure it out and then he ran out of tactics. Thank God he's been out of my life for almost five years!
I want to give you a hug and tell you how much this video has open my ears and eyes to what I have deeply inside have known for the past two years.
I've finally I've had enough of an emotional manipulator. My last straw was "look at yourself" after they start the emotional bullshit and you confront them with what they're saying or doing. The stay calm and make it as if they're the in control and haven't tried to plant an issue. They usually project something that you pick up on and when you question it, they start acting innocent! This person uses remaining g calm as a tactic to wind someone up and then when you question they reverse the behaviour onto you. I describe them as a chikd in an adults bidy. Very dangerous! They enjoy upsetting people because it gives them power . so just walk away!! I'm finding my circle of friends getting very small....
Exactly my situation 100%
Wow. Your last statement hit me like a ton of bricks. “If you are down, I can control you.” I need to get out of this hole.
Hello 👋 how are you doing?
putting you down to control you is something I've seen with a woman in my life - just sayin' ...
This is such a confirmation of a situation I have been at work! I started a job last July and I had a great relationship with my supervisor for about 2 months. Then it went sideways. I have since resigned, as I tried to draw boundaries and it turned into a verbally and emotionally abusive situation. Based on this video, I think the first two months were the grooming - trying to figure out what would be the control tactic. She keyed in on fear but didn't expect me to push back and move on. The situation was not going to change.
Christine Green,You got a lovely smile 😊
There will always be people who try to breach your boundaries. Well done on finding a way out of it 👏🏾
I went through nearly the exact same experience. What a mindfrick it was working for her.
Good for you seriously. I have stayed in those situations and was not the energetic positive person after
Thank you for sharing this! It’s more difficult to spot the signs in relationships that are less intimate, isn’t it? I am currently in a living situation with a manipulative person where the grooming was so subtle I almost fell into it, questioning my instincts and feeling ashamed and confused. It’s so good to hear you got out of that job situation!
My Ex used all the tactics mentioned but I found the silent treatment the most hurtful and isolating especially when it would usually last 3-7 continuous days. Its also so true that when you slow down & actually listen you can recognise the abuse more readily.
hey dearly I'm a living testimony of a great Dr Daniel the relationship restorer only healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Daniel will put a smile on your face honey within 3days🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Whats@pp him now 🚀🚀🚀
And it’s extreme . From 2 people. Law
I'm currently on week 12 of the silent treatment. He told me that he doesn't give a "ef" what the definition of silent treatment is. He said he's acting this way because he's contributing to our marriage as much as I do. Um, I'm not the person who was texting an old "friend" from HS and hiding it. My kids are grown and they don't even want to be around because of the discomfort of it. He told me he doesn't care what they think. I am beyond sad
@@cathyosborn9905 you should leave that marriage asap. What you have to lose is what your mind made up to manage to love him. This is not love
I came from trauma and dysfunction. I wanted nothing but to find the right person who wouldn’t make me feel like I did as a kid.found 3 relationships that all had me dealing with abuse. I have lived in survival for 27 of my 36 years. 17 of those on adult relationships with myself in therapy diagnosed etc. but my diagnosis was also the “cause” of problems. My boundaries didn’t matter.
I've recently learned a new technique - when my woman starts throwing a tantrum, I just ignore it and walk away as if nothing happened. Soon after, she comes running back to me to make up.
How do you just ignore it if you live together? Or if he makes food
For himself and doesn’t offer you any and it pisses you off how do you just ignore that?
That’s toxic too. What my husband does is gaslight and get me to the point of finally breaking down and then he calls me crazy and walks away and gives me the silent treatment like it’s all my fault
My ex used all the tactics on me, I stopped reacting and the relationship ended. I am glad I am watching this videos now, gives me clearity. Tks
Stopping giving audience is the only way out. Dettaching....
I wish my tax dollars were paying for your vids to be shown in public schools. FYI: Your skincare routine is lit!
I am glad my tax dollars do not fund Psychological theory, whether or not there is some truth to it. The problem with education is there is already too much subjective curriculum which ironically makes way for the manipulator.
What a coincidence!! I subscribe to your channel Patriot Nurse!!💕💕💕💕
You are so right!!
This should be taught in High School/last 3years of school
Well that's creepy.
My goodness, this has been happening to me for 3 years. I ended up with PTSD anxiety depression. I’m so glad I escaped just last month
You are spot on. I just don’t know how to set boundaries. I was raised by two narcissistic parents. I married 3 of them and I’m still living with one.
Narcissists are less than 5% of people (.5% < N < 5%), if you've had 5 of these people in your life you must be the unluckiest person in the world or .
This woman is on point, and open minded on how to show some of us a reminder of how to achieve true humanity! And to be honest and more realistic with an open mind.
No more communication failure. Just facts
One of my biggest challenges is that the narcissist will be surrounded by enablers who will help gaslight me… Thank goodness I have a therapist To bounce these things off of. Over and over she tells me I have a good gut and I need to trust it. Without her help, I was getting destroyed because I had no way to ground myself and I kept playing the, "on the other hand" game. It's part of what the narcissist is hoping you'll be doing. Feeling unsure. I am so glad for this information to reinforce all I've learned. Ty.
ima go to a shrink man. thanks. just need a job again
"What someone else thinks of me is none of my business"
Infinite waters
I have been struggling for nearly 7 months to leave an emotionally abusive relationship and this has been so much more helpful to me than I ever would have imagined by clicking on it.
Thank you so much for creating this content. x
You can't leave because you have a soul tie. A ST is a demonic bond because you had premarital sex. Outside God's covenant & gave Satan the legal right to torment you & keep you with this person. Good news? Rebuke and bind the soul tie in the name of Jesus.
“You’re over sensitive”. All my life!
We want specifics because they make you feel like the narc and if you react you can look like the abuser. They get off on this. It's evil.
You can bet they are laying the groundwork for being able to assert that you are the abuser. It will help mitigate her evil at a later court hearing.
Is this true that the revel in it? :( im now the one to blame because me shouting and being angry is worse. He is sooooo covert
They make me feel guilty. Wow, thank you for this video. Jabs all the time, because they don't get what they want. I always think it's ME!
hello friend i feel your pains 😥😥😥
*do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now*
*I know of a spiritual man that can help you☺️
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
I subscribed to you Jessie,,hi from London,,,,iv experienced what you saying,,,a million times,,not easy,,but yip we got to stay strong,, ignore them and move on🏖️
It's NOT YOU. You are waking up to what is happening to you.
hey dearly I'm a living testimony of a great Dr Daniel the relationship restorer only healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Daniel will put a smile on your face honey within 3days🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Very helpful. The ex was subtly harmful and toxic while being kind and loving other times. It felt like a mind fuck. I finally realized and next time I will set boundaries earlier and walk away earlier if things do not improve.
Scary how accurately you describe my previous relationship. She used fear as her tactic.
Then find flying monkeys to deliver more abuse to share the pleasure of your pain. Ugh
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
She used police threats and suicide threats.
@@joshmaul9621She was broken. She needs the living Christ as her Savior.
You can also avoid manipulators by just staying in your own little world and reduce human interactions to zero. Works wonders.
The trouble with manipulation is "society" believe men just have to deal with it because they are a man and should be strong. In turn they put the responsibility onto men to change for the women. If men don't cater to how women feel they are masculine toxic because they are not easily being controlled by women's manipulation. Even tho women are proven to be the best manipulator in this world, society will still give them the victim card. Example "Amber Heard." Even today a large population of Feminist and Simps still believe she was the victim even tho the evidence proves the opposite. We live in a sick world today of biases.
Are you serious? That's what the devil wants. Chronic isolation will destroy you. You need the living Christ.
Never. That’s what the manipulative person creates or hopes to create for you. But we come up out of this crap we listen to inspiring and help videos like these that will bring you back to where you were before they did this !!! We are conquerors through Christ alone!!!
Until you get thirsty and have to leave your room
@@danilaroche1156evangelizing on RUclips is lazy and ineffective. You’re not going to convince anyone of anything with these judgemental copy/paste comments. True evangelizing means listening to people - and meeting them where they’re at.
Power & Control Wheel... fear, guilt, shame... it's all there... thank you for this explanation of "tactics."
This video brought me sooo much clarity about past “friendships” and current relationships. One time I was at a party with my “friend”, more accurately manipulator, and another girl said about my friend, “I don’t like her. There’s something not right about her. I don’t trust her.” I was offended for my friend at first and for some reason I always remembered that comment. Over time she showed her true colours and became dangerous to be around and I ended the relationship. This video reminded me of that relationship and brought me a lot of clarity about what was really going on with that girl. Now I know why that person said that comment. My intuition was clouded by my own trauma and loyalty. Hers was detached from the situation and was tuned in. Well now my intuition is tuned in too! Thanks for this video. It has actually helped me reflect and heal. It has helped me feel less guilty about ended the “friendship” and that I was supporting my own health and boundaries by doing so. She is a very unhealthy person and her trauma and manipulation caused her to lose me, a very good person and friend. Yes, I have had unhealthy tendencies too but I’m working hard on myself. Her loss. My gain. I hope she heals for her own sake and the people around her. Thanks Stephanie. 😊
I thought it was me. He made me feel like I was the one that was toxic. Gaslighting was huge in his control. Also made me feel like he was going to leave me all the time so I lived on the edge for years until he finally did leave with a new women.
He did you a favor now you can move on and be happy yes it hurt but with God help you will recover love Cynthia
Good riddance to him he will do to her what he did to you these creeps never change
Hope ur doing ok. It takes around 2yrs to heal from the likes of ur x. In time u will grow stronger and feel confident . Be kind to you ❤
when i m scared to even speak in front of the people who were playing my guilt, fear and shame to put me down i cant even speak and think when they are manipulating me and when they are being honest
I hope you can get out. Maybe it takes years, but it has to be a way out.
Been in a relationship with a manipulator/dismissive avoidant. It's very eye opening how far they'll go to get their own way.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 I swear
"my way or the highway":
Omg, I used to have a friend like this. I liked her and we had great times, but whenever I didn't go along with her plans she was trying to make me feel guilty with tears and telling me how "hurt" she was. Because I was young, I was really confused by this, since I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. When I finally called her out on it and told her she was manipulating people, she threw the biggest tantrum I've ever seen from an adult.
Oh God, something like this has happened to me too!!!
My bf manipulates me, and I feel crazy sometimes. He tells me I always have a problem with him, and it's just discussions about things normal couples should have. BUT he just goes off the handle and starts making me feel guilty. I pay all the bills. I'm so over it. I'm over not being able to be myself.
Plan your exit.
I second planning your exit. I was also expected to pay for everything and even that was never enough. What you have to give, will never be enough to someone that can only take.
So much peace once you are able to get out. You can absolutely do it.
Then Leave him if you see the red flags because it will just lead to emotional abuse and it's not worth it
He has some nerve… you bf is getting a free ride at your expense. He should be treating you like a queen. He is a loser, user and emotional abuser. You are the woman… it is not your responsibility to carry all the responsibility. Your situationship is out of order. You do not have a healthy relationship at all. It is not up to just one person to pay for it all and/or do it all. There has to be mutual understanding and respect. Please do not settle for less… you deserve so much more! Stay safe ❤️
I cut off narcisiy people
They're bullies
Leaving them ie awesome
Observing not absorbing their comments is empowering in keeping you emotionally/mentally stable and balanced, especially when you feel weak, down, defeated, sensitive or Vulnerable.
Be wary as they Do Not
have your best interests in mind, contrary to what they lead you to believe...they are factually noting which buttons to press to Cripple & Ctrl you ~ Gr8 advice
I like to say "Wow!" during the discard
I have gotten so much better at identifying manipulation because of your education and wisdom. Thank you sooo much for all you do!
Amy Carmichael,You are beautiful 😍,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
Another thing of manipulators. They don’t like nor believe in going to therapy/ counseling. However, they do believe others should go to therapy/counseling.
We need Genuine People in our lives
So helpful! I talked to one today. A medical professional using the fear of witholding medications for an elderly man, requiring him to do an in person visit during a pandemic. Never allow a person to force you into a decision that they will not have to live with the consequences. You have to decide what risk you are willing to take.
His license is on the line, you speak of medical requirements you know little of. He didn’t go to school for a decade to out his license his career at risk for anyone.
Exactly the dr will nit be forced into risking his license for a patient that won’t be affected if said dr loses his license - there are protocols to be followed- Im in the medical field. You were right in your comment and it applies to you as well.
"Never allow a person to force you into a decision that they will not have to live with the consequences. " 🎯 💯
Thank you for writing this uncomfortable truth : This happened to me. A specialist told me to participate in her medical trials. I refused: as it is a lot of risks to my body i am unhappy about. When i said "No, thank you", she treatened to withold the paper with the diagnosis i needed for the insurance. Thats against the law for a doctor to do (I looked it up). However, as i didnt record the session i cannot prove it... PS: I now have put a recording app on my smartphone & fully intend to use it in bad conversations
Some doctors have some sort of God complex, and think all patients in front of them are things that have no decision rights over their own bodies, and should simply do as directed. Its scary, as this happens to you at times you are vulnerable, scared, and not at your best to defend yourself.
Your videos are so helpful. I’ve been married to a narcissistic man for 16 years. The finger is always pointed at me. I’m now doing the work to build myself up. Thank you for such great content.
Thank you so much. I now know I was never the problem... she has manipulated me for years.
hello friend i feel your pains 😥😥😥
*do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now*
*I know of a spiritual man that can help you☺️
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
That would be great, much appreciated it
One day at a time.. says it all, life is to short for these games of lies, control, ect.,, my marriage was a short season and yet I never knew what a narcissist person was.. until now;I’m thankful that GODSLOVING and PROTECTED ME ♥️☝️♥️🕊♥️🙏🏼I’m healing every day, and praying always, and I TRUST MY DAD ♥️☝️♥️🕊🙏🏼No more of this drama; I’m healing and continue ... and now learned more about...
Dealing with a manipulative parent figure is even harder because of no real boundaries being set from the beginning or not being able to treat you with the respect you deserve as though they still think you are a child. It’s a heavy topic and Thankyou for sharing your advice. I have to deal with this sort of thing and gives me anxiety because I feel unable to stand up for myself or speak my opinion. They also love to use something in your life that they deem “unhealthy” in order to control. Often times heavily based on assumptions, unfortunately they won’t see it from the victim’s perspective
i feel u
I like the way you talk about the "mechanics" of the phenomena of manipulation. The origin. The motivation. The reason. Put in this context, it's much more understandable, predictable, and controllable.
i needed to see this because i’ve been made to feel crazy for so long. seeing it line up perfectly is so validating, it’s almost frustrating how cut and dry it is when it’s layed out like this because im not actually crazy ive just been surrounded by unhealthy people and im realizing now that im not cool with that and that’s not how i want to live and i have the right to make that decision (sorry for the run on sentence)
I had a “friend” who would always say she thought she was pregnant when I was struggling with infertility. She would say it every time I saw her but it was never true. She also had the birth control that went in the arm so I knew they were lies. Her and her husband also didn’t want kids. It was so cruel imo. She would throw so many other jabs but that was the most hurtful one.
With friends like that who needs enemies 🤮🤮
That’s sickening, I’m so sorry.
I do pray u have a wonderful baby by adoption or birth.. like i did after 16 yrs of being called a barren badluck bringing woman by my brother in law. HAVE faith and hang in there dear .
U have a great God 🙏💜
I hope you told her to F off!
Wow. Sounds sociopathic. May you be blessed with kind, compassionate friends. 🤗
When this happened to me by a sister and a friend when I was a preteen and teenager , they started with things like, telling me personal things about themselves that they felt inadequate about they seemed to open up to me and then I would share a couple of things and that's how they got the information to try to manipulate me if they were trying to get something. I learned quickly as a sister and a friend not to share my deepest insecurities with people, that I would simply work on those insecurities and instead of naming them to anyone that I trusted, I would simply say I have a few insecurities. I would be vague.
A new guy I met did that to me. I usually can spot a narc but he was super slick. I now hate myself for being so naive. Have distanced myself now because he had started the manipulative tricks. Hurts a lot but I could manage it better this time. Wish I’d stop attracting narcs. God sent me the signs but I chose to overlook. My bad.
Great video! She touches all the necessary points and helps you learn how to understand the lies from a narcissist
hello friend i feel your pains 😥😥😥
*do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now*
*I know of a spiritual man that can help you☺️
*Whats@pp him now*🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
I just want to add that the whole key of this is not to end up in a position where you're just now saying that it's someone else's fault. The key is to be aware of this and to decide how YOU are going to handle it. Great vid.
Yeah.. the problem is that oftentimes the manipulators are people we love, and they're not all dark, they have good sides too. It's important to reconcile the good and the bad and not treat them like monsters. So after learning about this the emphasis is to start loving oneself. If you love yourself you're safe, then you know what's bad for you and you learn to reject it. That's all you need to be happy, you don't need to hate the other.
My ex use to threaten to break up with me several times. He knew how dependent I was on him and would use that to his advantage. He broke up with me on Christmas one time and it was awful. I would always beg him to stay with me because he made me feel like I was the one with all the issues and needed to change in order for the relationship to work. Over time I just gave in and believed that I was the problem. He would tell me I need to exercise regularly, eat healthier, have sex with him more and that he wasn't going to put effort in until I did. Mind you I do think exercise is important and eating healthy, but I love going on walks and I don't eat horribly and I'm not overweight at all. It was hard to want to have sex with someone that doesn't put in any effort himself and talks down to me regularly. I know im not perfect, but i cant spend my life trying to make someone love me. Sorry for the long rant. He broke up with me 5 weeks ago and I've stayed strong and haven't reached out to him once. I just want to move past this and learn to love myself again. He thinks he is the best I'll ever have and I remind myself every day that his insecurities are not a reflection of me. He does not define who I am as a person.
I hope that you managed to stay away and that you've learned that being alone is better than being with a person who makes you feel like you are not good enough for them. But I also know that it often happens that people go back to abusers many times before being able to finally get out for good... and I wouldn't make you feel bad about it. But in that case I'd just like to say; You are good enough!
Anyone who loves you brings out the best in you . Supports you and lifts you every day and wants you to be happy and strong and healthy .. anyone who doesn’t show you this needs to be shown the door . They don’t change they just get worse of you stay bec in their mind you deserve it for staying with them .. run for the hills x
This is always exactly what has happened/is happening to me. I thought it was my fault, I am sure I have my flaws, but he surely was manipulating me this whole time. He also left me around Christmas, while I was in Italy (seeing family) while he remained in the UK. We lived together for 5 years and he has left me without a home, so I'm now starting all over again. With very little money as well... but honestly, there is always more money to be made, mental health is much more important. The interesting thing is he also kept going on about working out more, eating better, dressing better - mind you I'm a yoga teacher and love beauty and self-care...
I hope you recover from this soon. My case is very similar to this 🥲 Been 1 month on no contact.
It’s crazy I feel like you were speaking to me. I’ve been around (and dated 🤯) a lot of narcissists and when you’re around more than one of them shoooey lol! I legit needed that right now. I try to always check in with myself now but some people are amazing at gas lighting! It’s crazy when someone else makes you feel like you’re crazy or something you’re not! Thanks!
Yeah, the dirty little secret. Everything that she said on here was very true. Those toxic folks will do anything to make you feel miserable about yourself and then say that you wallow in your self-pity when in reality they are projecting. But of course they don’t want you to know that. If you tell them, oh don’t you dare. Obviously I’m being sarcastic. Some ridiculous, toxic woman that I met last year and then cut her out in October would pull things like that. She’s a 73 year old woman. She’s had plenty of practice. I gave her the chance to just walk away without having to block her email phone number and everything. Four days later she wanted to pick up where we left off when I said a few profanity things and hung up the phone on her. Then when I said she sounds like a narcissistic bully and a leader of a cult. She called me again I rejected the call and blocked all of her stuff. Felt good. She was a widow. We are both people with disabilities different eye conditions. We both have guide dogs and I felt sorry for her but something seemed off. Anything you can do she can do it better if you were having a bad day hers was worse. Then she’ll say you’re playing the victim when she needs to get the spotlight 24 hours a day. Have the audacity to tell me that I’m causing my seizures when you purposely starting petty fights intentionally stressing me out is what did it. So anybody out there with health conditions or disorders get rid of toxic people/narcissists if you can. Everybody should throw a narcissist in the trash style, but still sometimes it takes a little bit to realize that it’s affecting whatever illness you have.
Can't thank you enough for information you're sharing with us in your channel. It's just lifesaver. During most difficult and dark period of my life you've been my guardian angel and wise teacher. Thank you, Stephanie. God bless you💗
When I share positive things with my husband or I’m doing something positive for myself, he just about always comes with passive negativity about whatever it it. Very weird!
Same here
This Lady really knows her stuff!!!! Good job
Your videos are so incredibly helpful! I work with vulnerable populations that have experienced abuse in various relationships. We often use your videos to help them in their healing journeys. Many are codependent due to life circumstances that were well beyond their control but they are learning that they do not have to remain captive to those lies they have been told. Thank you for your work! So grateful!
I work in the sales, advertising and marketing industry .. my God this video literally is describing almost everyone I know .... I might have to rethink this industry ... I'm glad I found this video
It’s scary and hard to get out of a toxic relationship. Thank you for all you’re videos 😢❤. I hope it’s not too late for me
I'm currently breaking some codependent conditioning I have and hooboy I have been on both ends of this at different times in my life. Letting go of control is scary AF but so worth it in the end!!
Thank you SO MUCH for these videos. ❤️
Excellent presentation, especially regarding fear, guilt and shame.
I am very grateful to finally be able to leave and start finding myself. I forgave him and wanted him be heal also. I am still learning things about myself and how I relate and what I really desire from life. Its exciting to move forward and know you are okay and a complete person not needing another person to make you whole!!! My Creator made me, loves me knowing all about me and He made me whole!!!
YES! YES! OMG YES YES YES YES!!!
I've spoken about the 'stare' and 'testing'...it's "examining" and "grooming"!
Holy crap epiphany and integration... thank you.
WAAAYYYY down the childish narcissistic manipulative predatory rabbit hole...
❣
When a narc friend tried to get me to do something that wasn't totally above board, I told her 'no' and explained why (because what she wanted me to do goes against every ethical/professional bone in my body. She wanted me to type out a lie and put my name and contact info on that lie) Having boundaries will save you from getting pulled into precarious positions and their endless drama.
Everything you said was scarily spot on. Even down to this individual negging me for watching videos on self development.
meeting new friends. new wine in new wineskins
Great video with so much helpful information.
Having dealt with people who are very controlling & manipulative, I learned that the best course of action is to walk away (or run!).
It's sometimes difficult while being so necessary.
I was very co-dependent on my mom for a little emotional support but over the decades, it became more and more obvious how extremely important appearances were and how unimportant intimacy and truth was. She gaslit way too often and jabbed at my ego when no one else was around. When you realize someone really doesn't care, love, or respect you, there's no more supposed need for the person. I received some great counseling from a spiritual person with a counseling background and she taught me how to go within and find my own value in 2017. Now I feel the opposite about her😊
I went to therapy years ago who identified me as the family scapegoat. when my sister asked how therapy was going and I told her what she said, my sister told me to get a new therapist. 10 years later I'm back in therapy and again I'm id'd as the family scapegoat. This time I listened to my therapist.
Thanks so much for this video. I got so much of passive-agressive treatment it’s crazy. And a phrase I often heard when me and my ex wife had fights was: we are not fighting, we are just talking (in an aggressive voice).
My LH passed 4-1/2 months ago. I’ve been told how wrong I am for putting his clothes in bags for the kids to go through by one of the kids. When that didn’t work then I was told they were mad I didn’t call them to warn them I had done that. And then it was that I set boundaries with a sister in law. My child wants me to be so bendable to others. I’ve said a strong no and now I’m getting the silent treatment. Oh she attended a meeting I held about my home going up for sale and that she and her husband will be buying for a reduced rate the quads.
I’m not doing what she wants. She’s using shame and gas lighting. My LH cheated and she denies it and tells me he’s dead and that I shouldn’t be angry about that. It’s terrible. But I’m not reacting anymore nor am I bending to her desires like I used to. So glad I had therapy before he passed away.
Thanks for this. I'm friends with someone who is in her late 20s but acts immature and manipulative and I am over it.
When I say I'm busy and can't hang out she always says stuff like "I guess you're too busy for me" or "I'm so lonely though and you're my only friend". It’s exhausting.
I didn’t recognized all the manipulation he used till I stared going to therapy and my psychologist helped me to see this. I was changing my direction, was forgetting about my self to make him happier.. He was using the guilt tactic. I feel so much in peace now.. my lower back pain is not there anymore .. thank you for this video ❤️.