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Why a Narcissist Can Walk Away Easily | Stephanie Lyn Coaching 2021
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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To anyone who might be reading this & who is still healing: you deserve so much more, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be seen, you deserve to be cherished. ♡
Thanks and you do as well 🦋
🙌
Thank you.
Thank you
Thank you. My heart is still devastated but I know I deserve to be happy and experience real love.
From personal experience narcissist don’t have a conscience for those around them. It’s all about self preservation.
Facts!!!
💯
They have a conscience of a 2 year old. They have arrested development. 2 emotional development of a 2 year old in an adult body...very scary
@@gregwythes6055 yeah it is.
So true
A toxic person can't go deep in a relationship. Everything is superficial. I had to go no contact with my narcissistic family. There's no real love in a narcissistic family. It's all about appearances.
I’m almost there too💔
Yea it is!! Your there for the way you make them look!!
I had to cut my mom loose and the Narc I’m not gonna feed you
True that, same here, im planning my escape ,one i am out, im never gonna return
I am 39 years old finally waking up to all of this. I was numb for so long. Parents are both Narcs and my two brothers identify with him, one being covert and shy...and the other being the classic, arrogant Narc. He is the spitting image of my father, and the other "copes" by being a rock.
They walk away, without realizing the damage they inflicted on the other party. They have no feelings, nor a heart
yes unfortunarely
They don’t care they have no compassion no empathy
I didn't know those type of people exist, they are cold hearted, don't care what you do for them , its like nothing to them, simple things they block u for, don't even try to have a relationship with them, you'll be wasting your time seriously
@@lavernjackson991 yep
@jon smith true. and its pathetic. but i try to not let that bother me becuse eventually us empaths will get over the hurt but they’ll always be miserable and stuck and hating themselves deep down inside so 🤷🏻♀️
If they can walk away easy then you know how little you meant!
True! But according to this video NO ONE Means anything to them!
Including their children!!!
True. This is so painful. 11 years together, and not a peep from him or his family.
@@Penumbras1919I wish you a speedy recovery, I don't know if my ex is a narcissist or borderline personality disorder, after 9 years I was discarded like nothing. Kicked out from our home. Most pain I ever felt. So cruel, she told me I was lots of work to do and a long journey ahead. Just crazy.
It's interesting because the narcissist might be afraid of losing someone but at the same time they do everything they can to destroy any amount of real closeness.
So odd, my ex husband said it was his self fulfilling prophecy to make people leave him but he had abandonment issues
Facts when I walked away i saw literal fear in his eyes but then he destroys everything
You hit it on the 💅 Well said!!
The definition of a paradox indeed
Fact! This is exactly what happened with my ex bf. His anger and lack of communication skills killed our relationship! 😒
Narcissist:
- lovebomb, devalue, discard
- triangulate (exes or new supply)
- gaslight, deflect, minimize
- refuse to take accountability or look inward (might say words but never take action)
- fear intimacy and vulnerability, cannot handle it
STUDY AND MASTER THIS LIST PEOPLE.
It’s so true! He learned how to apologize, but never learned how to follow thru on the apology. Then I was to blame for why he ended it. Disgusting.
What goes around comes around. I've seen these hurtful people dump good people who try to have genuine relationships with them. Only to see them themselves get love bombed, used and discarded by other narcissists.
💯
Amen to that!!!!
I hope so.
💯
They get what they deserve. Narcissist will be in and out of relationships for the rest of there lives. Empath will eventually learn from there mistakes it may take us 1 or 2 times to get it but eventually we will find someone right for us
She walked away, no phone call, no face to face contact. It has felt like the hardest thing I've been through.
I truly loved her, and I never understood why she did what she did until I watched this.
Thank you.
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?.
@@zugumnanyusuf3065 I certainly do not.
Be happy you got out. This person could whittle you down to a shell of yourself over years and leave you really broken
@@RealLifeFinance I'm more and more grateful everyday that I got out. It still hurts every now and then, but I'm in a fan better place. Thank you.
@@ianbooth4010 glad to hear that. Definitely be ups and downs....it took me years to recover 95%
I deserve a person who is there emotionally.
I agree with you there my friend I thought I had one but she sure fooled me and at a bad time to at that she didn't have one concern arcare in the worldbut after seeing videos now at least I know what I was dealing withand she didn't show no emotions or nothing at the time but I'm starting to do better now and I will move on so at least hopefully I will know what to look for now I know I don't want to go through this again hopefully someday I will meet the right woman that is a emotionally healthy person but until then hang in there my friend that's all I know to do take care God bless you
Absolutely ❤️
K .
@@averyexpensivefrog9341 what do you mean by that my friend
Yes we do 😄❤️
Studies have shown that narcissists are actually born with less gray matter in the brain and that part of the brain is where empathy begins to form in most children around the age of five. This would explain their lack of empathy, their childlike behavior, and lack of emotional maturity. It also explains why they are maladaptive and unable to change. As my dad always says, "You can't get blood from a turnip." I'm fortunate I was raised in a loving family, but I dated a narcissist, and it was an absolute nightmare.
Makes sense
It's pathological
Similar PET scans as psychopathic brains too
I feel you are talking about my husband. I just ended our 4 year relationship. He was verbally abusive but at the same time throwing around with the word LOVE. He always needed attention and if I didn’t give it to him he acted like a little child. He is very materialistic. Always compared his life with others and gossiped about those who live a higher standard ( which he wants) Now that I look back I realize how superficial everything was. Don’t ignore the red flags, guys!
Verbal abuse is not ok
So relieved to hear you're finally out of your bad situation! CONGRATULATIONS!
@@soniashukla7945 It started very early in the relationship long before we got married, but I ignored the red flags… hoped he would be able to change. But as I now understand these people can’t change at least not if they don’t admit that they have a problem. My husband apologized over and over but didn’t really see that he has a personality problem.
@@soniashukla7945 Yeah, I am glad that I got out now, but I try not to see it as a failure or wasted time, because there were still good times with this man and I learned a lot about myself, my values, needs and boundaries.
I noticed quite early his aggressive behavior. He couldn’t argue in a proper manner, would get loud and would name call. He also used very manipulative and threatening language like “if you don’t change I’ll break up with you!” If you don’t X, I do Y..” He also wouldn’t support my dreams or interests, would talk down on it. “You better give up on this” “You are too old for this”… He also needed my attention 24/7, pouted if I wanted to meet my friends. Also he would lovebomb me in the beginning, saying I love you after one week, wanted to introduce me to his parents after 2 weeks… everything went very fast.
@@katrinstamm4641 wow, thanks for those examples. Puts a new light on my situation.
Best of luck and healing to you!!
And You Do Deserve to Follow Your Dreams 🤍🤍🤍
My almost 10 year relationship was entirely surface level. He'd control what we spoke about and how we communicated because he gave the silent treatment or walked away once he didn't want to talk about anything. It was painful no true love or intimacy 💔
am so sorry for pain u must went true..
🙏😥
Same here...10 yrs wasted. It's been so hard to accept that he never cared about me
If I do have another relationship, I can’t imagine it right now, I want someone who is happy to show their emotions and talk about their feelings! I hope it does happen at some point
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve been living this nightmare for 30 years. My wife is always right, never apologizes, lives to impress others, is extremely insecure, and doesn’t care about my opinions, values, or dreams.
I’ve felt alone for a very long time, but couldn’t stand the idea of divorce (I have 3 daughters). We are separated now and it seems like she’s going on about business as usual, not caring one ounce that’s she’s crushed me. I feel like I’ve had the life sucked out of me.
Love a woman don't be in love with a woman. They don't love like men do and are able to move on quicker. I learned this lesson early on on life and it has helped me detach and hurt way less when demons try anything on me which they will it's their nature.
Totally not true - I’m the female version of OP - 27 yrs & I wanted him to feel the same way I did @@CitiesOfAsh
@@emmajones4271 You're too young for a response. Let's see if you can hold that relationship long-term. Spoilers itll probably end in divorce when you get bored and comfortable. Time and wisdom from others especially elders can teach you things that you cant comprehend. 27 🤣 just wait till menopause. Youre clueless little girl.
It's insane! as I go further down this Narcissistic Personality Disorder rabbit hole, it's explains EVERYthing I was going through for the last 6 years of my life. The dots are all connected now. Mind blown. As soon as you start standing up for yourself the entire thing crumbles.
OMG this hits the nail on the head with my ex....it explains so much...makes me sad for him...he was my best friend my person my soul mate....I was nothing to him...my heart is broken 💔
My THOUGHTS EXACTLY 😭😭😭
You were something to him, narcissistic supply. Until you weren't.
@@alevela9309 sooo true!!!
Karma will have him turned out when he drops the soap in his life…🤝🤛
I am still heartbroken yet when I think about it, it wasn't real and a rollercoaster ride. You need to move on.
Wow this was such a GREAT explanation!!! My ex who has heavy narcissistic traits moved on so quick to his new supply while I’m sitting here trying to work through how and why I allowed so many red flags to be ignored, and I allowed his lies and gaslighting to continue. They are empty people. He even admitted “people are pawns I move around how I need and want” my mouth fell open to hear such an ugly uncaring sentence.
Thank you for your videos!
Sounds very familiar to what I went through with my husband. They are so very selfish and do so much damage to the people around them.
I can completely relate, I’ve been in this spot for almost a year. My heart & head can’t come together & agree. It’s a miserable place to be. I find that I can5 wrap my head around the fact that such cruel ppl exists.
Mine did the same for 30 years
😥
Everyone deserves to be loved. Honesty is usually the more important quality.
2349155456932⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,......
I guess when they treat us the way they do they are being honest too. We need to see them for who they really are and know who we are as well. This is the only way to not get entangled with anyone who doesn't vibe with who you really are
Yes they want you think that you are not enough , and they are the insecure ones , they knew that they don’t deserve you and don’t want a relationship it’s an addiction ship and it’s toxic, they have NO emotional commitment, NO compassion , they are users and liars they want your energy and your supply!!
Yes, the trouble is we fall for them so hard and fast, then like me marry them thinking it’s going to be forever! I had to leave her, and it has utterly broken me 😢
I feel like it's covert criminality...theft of whatever one has to offer.
I was a tool for 15 years of marriage to a covert Narcissist. I knew the entire time there was something off, but tried my best to fix everything. After I divorced him because of his blatant affair, the next 6 months for me have been hell, but I did everything I could to heal and work on my codependency issues. I know I have choices. I have recently met a wonderful new man. I’ve checked and tested for red flags but he seems healthy and compassionate. I still wonder if it’s real but I won’t be a train wreck if it doesn’t manifest into a LTR. I will never marry again.
Best wishes to all of you and thankful for Stephanie’s wisdom and sharing.
The connection with the narcissist was superficial, fake. There was NEVER any real intimacy, vulnerability or love. No surprise how they can just drop you like yesterday's trash.
They have no soul. That’s why they can walk away so easily.
2349155456932⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,......
The soulless fake I was with was even a red headed ginger 😖
I myself learned a few things about healing and dealing with these toxic people is you observe not absorb block them from your inner self protect your heart and feelings, and you must stop emotional thinking about them, that's the over thinking 🤔 about the what if it could of been different,it will never be, learn and educate yourself about NPD and once you educate yourself about NPD that's all the closure you'll need, and stop being hard on yourself, they will go from person to person,same old game over and over.👍 up Michelle and survivors and thrivers 🙏🦋
I did this exact same thing in my first marriage and I waited years to marry again I didn’t work on me for I didn’t know I needed too!! Now I know better We’ll because I said what your saying and never worked on me I went from a Overt to a Covert over 10 years later instead of the marriage lasting a year and half It lasted 30 years now I’ve researched and worked in myself etc for the last 6 years while making sense of all this!! For a covert was a hard one for me to actually get enough information to say yes that’s him!! It’s not as easy as you say it is We have to work on ourselves to stop the cycle theirs a reason they chose us!! We weren’t right anymore then they were at the meeting of one another…Take Care Bless you ..
@@Sheywh12 yes absolutely true. Worst realisation is we are mutually attracted to each other. And they also hunt us down with ease as if we have a sign board on us saying. Come get me here i am..Im Narc bait.. all this without talking just silent body language n facial expressions.. seesh.. im waiting for doctor Ramani to give us a final resolution to our healing process.
So true Gary, it's important to be grateful that there is no resistance, accept the past, and affirm every morning that we are worth love and support from ourselves and those who truly care about us.
@@recoverywithlee2591 very well said 🦋
@@h.e9871 your welcome 🦋 I'm glad you liked it.and thank you 🙏
They were nothing like who you thought they were, a false person, as she said.
This video made me cry. And I guess that's the start of my healing process. I was dealing with this kind of woman and it damn near destroyed me how easy it was for her to tell me that she has plenty of other men that she can be with and left. All this time "I" thought we had a deep connection. But I was just a chair to her. Everything you said in this video was so accurate. I'm sad as f@# k because I'm the one that was in love and left looking stupid. I had my issue. But I worked on my bullshit (I needed to) because I wanted to be a better man for her, for me, and to have a real long lasting relationship with her. I thought this was real because no other woman made me feel within myself like I needed to change for the better. And all this time I was just a chair. I'm going into prayer mode and asking The Most High to help heal my heart, my pain and my anger. I don't want to ever hurt anyone like this. I ask for forgiveness of the many women I may have hurt during my wild past life. If this would even matter saying it here or at all, I'm sorry to every last one of y'all. And I am ashamed of how I use to be. I've never felt proud of the way I lived when I was young and dumb. I pray that a sense of calmness or healing overcomes you at this moment wherever you may be. I pray that you are in a healthy relationship and that you are in the arms of a real man. A man of God and you are happy and safe. Heavenly Father I am sorry for whatever destruction that my behavior may have caused in my past. I ask for forgiveness by you my Lord and Saviour of my shame. I lived a life that you never intended for me to live. Amen and Hallelujah.
2349155456932⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,......
Focus on yourself. Don't feel bad. Try to move on. Don't open up. Take care of your goals and mental health. Learn more.
God bless you!!!!
Seek friends to help you. Its a long recovery from destruction of a narcissist
A narcissist it’s not connected to God it does no good pray for them . They are not capable of true love.
If only ppl learned to love them selves enough to never get involved in such ppl.
Dealing with people who have narcissistic tendencies are very challenging because of the level of hurt and confusion they can cause people. The healing process tends to be a bit different for people wanting to heal from these relationships.
Yes.
Absolutely.
My ex-husband walked out after 23 years of marriage and two kids. He had Multiple affairs and a child out of wedlock. And even though he was extremely emotionally and psychologically abusive, I was so humiliated and hurt. He still wanted to hurt me even more, one last blow to my head, he told me that he Never loved me. I am now recovering.
Some narcissists would be better classified as sadists. They want to inflict pain on others.
How can such people live after hurting someone so much!!!
Been there. One final jab is what they want. Especially if you are the one calling it quits.
@Just me… I am so sorry. It all must have been devastating for you 😢
Let me just tell you one thing: your ex partner doesn’t understand what love is and his not capable of really loving anyone. Nevetheless, he had valued you very highly.
If he didn’t , he would have left you many, many years ago. Stephanie is right: Its so damn easy for a Narc to break up and leave….
I wish you qucik healing 🙏 I wish you all the best and also that you meet someone who will be really worthy of your love.
Someone who will make you truly happy and make you forget about how you feel now … 💚 Jo
I’m here now and this mess hurts 😓 I’m a Pastor’s wife and this man goes on a rant with any and everyone about how he doesn’t love me. I’ve been a dumb wifey for life woman and now I’m sitting here looking stupid with three children and no one knows where he is. I stopped asking him where he is. I’ve asked for counseling, that didn’t work bc he coins control the session, went to the church and that didn’t work bc they told us “that’s our problem”. Once they did that to him, he has been a complete mess. So scary to be around
This was spot on, what I went through in my 15 year relationship with my Ex wife. I am happy to finally be on my own and working on myself, so I do not have to ever be in a Situationship like that ever again! Thanks for educating us and helping us see the truth!
@Kolby Drees. When you saying working on yourself, what do you exactly mean and do? Give us tips or the courses or the things we can do to heal?
For the most part people are not curious except about themselves.. a narcissist cannot be taught to listen.
You continue to impress me, Stephanie. Such a valuable video. ❤️
So learning they can't be taught to listen or to have a normal 2-way conversation. It's the weirdest relationship I've ever had.
@ The Man Whisperer Thank you so much. I needed to know it wasn't just my thoughts playing with me. Loyalty to me is everything but it was stepped all over. Finding out that I didn't do anything wrong took me many years.
Just what I needed. Thank you so much. I was replaced over night after 21 yrs of marriage and 33 yrs of relationship, alone with three kids. I was in such a brain fog for a decades... I just didn't see it was coming. Now, I am in process of healing and I will not give up on healing process. It is process full of pain but I will never go back again. Never.
Never. You may have strange hope for change but just go it single surrounded by friends you trust
This is my story too. He left me and my kids and all our financial responsibility on me. 26 years and married 18 years. He block all of us. He only see to our youngest daughter basically just drop and fetch her for school. He don't care about her only him. His family and his church supported him through the process. I was alone with my kids and my few friends that stood by me. He divorced for religious differences because he is JW. But he never had JW friends or hang out with them and he was never a Christian at home. As painful it was, believe me, he was my 1st love, my everything, I loved him with all of my heart. However, the lies, the cheating, the abuse, emotionally, financially, withholding intimacy, ignoring me, stealing from me, was enough. I allowed myself as painful as it was to go through the process, I cut my losses, he is paying pennies for maintenance, bought himself a sporty car, still staying by his mom in a room. My divorce was finalised in June 2022. His mother is a narc, only want her 3 kids around her all in their 50's. She don't care or love her grandchildren. They all divorced and all their partners must take care of their children. They are all staying alone without responsibilities. Sadly, looking back I must admit I was in more pain whilst married and insecure about who I am than today. I'm more healthy, I'm doing great at work. I prayed for God's forgiveness for my role in all of this, for putting my children through that hell of a marriage. And I am positive it is through His mercy and Grace that I am who I am today. My advice today is to pray for them, forgive them, let them go. Only then you can be free. Heal, do things to make you happy and go places. God is on our side. God is good and always on time. After the divorce my neighbour's caught him on camera passing my house. Be blessed all and keep moving forward 🙏😇
@@jennyshepperson3916 Wooow, just what I needed 🙏 Oh, yes, God is my protectio. I can relate to all your words. Now I am going trough my healing proces for allmost a year. I belive that you are much better now when abuser is no longer at your private space. Yes, some abusing is still here (financial) and sometimes it rally sucks for me and children but everything is better than be in the same space with narc abuser. Thank you for answer. I forgot that I wrote comment under this video when he left me. Then, I kad totally devasteted but determent to get out and heal. I am glad that I survived till today 🙏👼🙏 Forgivnes?!? I am not authenticaly on that place yet. Maybe I never will be in my lifetime. I am just a man, a normal woman. Let God forgive him. I am just focused on my healing and this is the only thing I can do after decades od abuse 🙏👼🙏 Be well and be blessed, you and your children 🙏👼👼👼🙏.I now, that healing is possible 🌹
I realized I went through all the phases of the cycle...
He first hoovered my back after 10 years of not knowing about him.
He went love bombing me, then devalued me, discarded me, replaced me then tried to triangulate me... I went no contact..
It's been 2 years since the break up and my head is still spinning around trying to make sense of what I've lived..
Letting go it's the hardest part... I went through massive withrawal and obsessive thinking, cried a lot and very gradually starting to see the light... Lesson learned, but I believe I will need some therapy to heal fully.. codependence is an addiction to the unavailable person, mind this.
I realized that seing the red flags won't be enough but you need to develop those boundaries and keep them, the moment you do that, they will walk away by themselves 'cause they can no longer manipulate you...
You are growing and healing. For me menit took years to lift my devastated self off the floor and get through the spinning head depression cycle. Get close to your friend or friends who you can trust
@@RealLifeFinance oh my goodness... me too.
What is love bombing?
@@saraswatiebitna1916 make you believe that you are their soul mate they have been looking for (massive accolades over short period of time). It gets our guard down.
Wow. This is me right now. My struggle is now how do I still promote a relationship with our daughters. They don’t want anything to do with him and of course he blames me. My oldest told me frankly “stop trying to force us and you don’t have to keep defending him bc he is mean” they have so much anxiety being around him. Of course he went to the courts and is now trying to build a case as to how I keep them away. Man, this mess hurts bc after 20 years of my loyalty I see that was not what he wanted.
You can't be too much or too little. Yes!!!! I never felt enough, yet sometimes I felt the jealousy that I was too much...confusing to the max!
2349155456932⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,......
Need to create a narcissist dating app so that they have their own wee bubble ....so ordinary loving people won't get hurt ...
Please lol
Wow. You absolutely just clarified so much for me in this message. Everything and I mean everything you just talked about is 100% spot on accurate regarding the person I have been dealing with for the past 6 years. This person had me so broken down to the point that I almost lost me. I am blown away by how you just explained exactly who he is and so much of his behavior was in fact very narcissistic in addition to toxic. Thank God, I am no longer with him. Unfortunately, it took me this long to close the door on this nightmare.
Thank you for this eye opening education. Many questions were just answered by your message.
Linda - I feel for you. I was a victim of this for years...small doses that pushed me to the point of not knowing myself and having almost no confidence in anything.
Yes. I agree! You nailed it!! Thank you for taking the time to present this video.
I think those of us who get involved with an individual with theses issues, are kind, loving people who believe we can help this person. It wasn’t until after many prayers, that I was lead to understand this is not a healthy person for me to be involved with …
Thank you for the lesson in Vulnerability/intimacy. I
Appreciate you making this helpful content. I have experienced a narcissist 2 times. The first, I had no idea, and it lasted over 10 years, and the second, that one was way more noticeable. That lasted 1 year before I just couldn’t take it. We did argue (which was her picking fights and me not understanding she was doing it on purpose), but her blocking me consistently and punishing me for not getting her way set off an alarm to my lack of self-esteem, gently reminding myself that I need to do an internal audit of what’s really happing. Realizing I was way too codependent, I had to curb my enthusiasm and empathic intuition to try and heal her with gifts, knowledge and financial literacy. I realize that I was nothing more than supply, and that she was more determined to put me down consistently.
“ JESUS LOVES YOU ♥️ “
All he cared about was that I had”Outsmarted “ him,not that he lied,hurt,cheated and blaming me for the exact thing he was doing.
My ex was definitely taught this dysfunction through an enabling narcissistic mother. His sister finally saw it for what it is, and hasnt spoken to any of them in 2 years. the only difference in them was that she was the scapegoat, and him the golden boy. In the years I spent with this guy, I never truly felt an authentic connection with him. Everything was conditional, he viewed me as black or white. He is an extension of his mother 100%.. even her opinions became his. He has no true self. Its very sad that he will never realize it. I poured my heart and soul into this guy, and I am thankful today that I have broken free from him.
One of the most apparent signs is unwillingness to compromise! Having boundaries is healthy but normal people try to talk, listen and meet in the middle if possible. Narc people only care about what they want ("I am who I am and I won't change......uffff).
I was in a relationship for 3 years and i was never able to have a deep conversation with him. He is so superficial. This is making so much sense.
I love listening to and watching your videos, I've come to understand a lot about my narc ex. What kills me is even though he discarded me and his kids over 10-12 years ago, and has new supply, I still find myself thinking about what could of been and I hate that. Maybe because I've been single ever since and that sucks the most 😢
I'm sorry to hear that. What could have been was more hurt. That's all.
Hey my friend how you doing I can definitely relate with you on that I know that it can be hard at times my mom walked out on me right after my back surgery especially when I needed her the most but after seeing several videos I figured out what she was she sure had me fooled but I'm doing better now at least I knew what I was dealing with but it still didn't make me feel no better though it don't get no closure from them but after watching the videos it's helped me a lot figure it out but I'm starting to do a little better now so I will move on with my life so hang in there my friend that's all I know to do myself take care and God bless you
Not my mom my wife mi error
@@grayhaygood9642 Thank you Gray
@@ElephantInTheRoom777 Thank you Paul
i needed this so much it's like ur speaking right to me.. thank you so much
Stay strong My sister, I've been thru it stay no contact and follow Jesus and use your Gifts
Oh yeah, my husband has never brought himself to the table. He has always made it a one way street where it is about what I can do for him. It took me a long time to see him for what he is. But I also know now how my childhood allowed me to be manipulated by this type of person.
U too 👍 my parents were narcissist first🤷🤦
My fiance was my world, I tried many times to communicate with her about the issues we had, like her isolation of me from any friends, and more. She cheated on me early in the relationship and I had decided to stay with her and work it out, I spent the past few years trying to heal the Trama from what she did, slowly but steadily trusting her a little more everyday. Then when she got Super excited about a "old guy friend" she wanted to hang out, it through up red flags to me. Especially since she started doing unusual things for her to do And started acting standoffish towards me. And when I talked to her about it, She turned Ice cold and it ended up being an argument with her throwing me away completely.. I was Devastated to say the least.. And she showed ZERO Empathy. Like I was Nothing to her.. (He is now at what was our house with her) this was less than 2 weeks ago to now.. This finally all makes sense now 😔
This is the absolute best explanation I have ever heard. I just wish I could have heard it 5 years ago. 🥺
This video certainly does explain how they find it so so easy to walk away, while you are going to pieces. It certainly helps to see why. Still hurts tho!
As a very very very tired empath that been working living scrambling and fixing I jus want peace .I alway go back ..jus fir today I will practice mindful living and improve my own life .gn beautiful humans . People are doing exactly what they want to do period .I need to stick to my own good advice .she rght on .it not my problem anymore it OK to go
It’s so true we really Deserve more out of a relationship but we have to love ourselves First before a relationship
💯
🌟🌟🌟 “They’re completely unaware.” 🌟🌟🌟
2349155456932⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,......
You just packaged my last four years in 15 min. I hope she gets the help she needs. I feel bad that she may never find true love. You nailed everything she was. I learned you can't fix someone else unless they want to be fixed and fix themselves.
What? She's perfect she's not going for help ha , narcs don't go for help
Exactly
"Not really a person to them"... this is how I felt all the time with the toxic person that was in my life. It hurts to kinda have this confirmed, which is ironic because I constantly desired validation from this toxic person. I just wanted them to see how much they were hurting me and treating me like I was invisible...I just wanted things to change and move forward but I never received it and was really left broken.
I'm healing though 😌
Hello dear do you wish to manifest your ex,crush back or someone you love dearly?.
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Yes it's easy for a narcissist to just walk away. My narcissist left me in the middle of a phone conversation. He didn't even hang up the phone I could hear noise in the background. I just finally hung up after 30 minutes of waiting! I never heard from him again, he blocked every avenue to get hold of him. No reason nothing. I guess he just felt like leaving. That happened 4 years ago, and I'm still thinking about him. I don't think I'll ever ever get over this humiliation. He totally broke my being able to trust again! Why?
I ended my 3 year 7 month relationship with my girlfriend on 2nd Dec 2022. Found out late that she had no empathy and struggled to deal with love and our relationship. She couldn’t get on with my two lads of 16 and 20 when they moved in either. It’s still hard being without her and I’m still single but am hopeful I will meet a nice women soon.
I love how you went deep into the WHY, many teachers do not do this. It explains that often times we are on the receiving end of a much deeper issue , and internal brokenness from the narc. THANK YOU!!!
Wow. I just discovered why none of my friendships work. I must be gravitating to narcissists because I always end up wounded while they walk away like all our friendship-building meant nothing. Except the situation is a bit different because I tend to be open and empathetic, no walls, but they have walls all the time and tend to be guarded. After it ends, I feel used as if I am the person who does things for them OR the person they examine to justify their life. I will pay more attention to how much a new friend opens up to me to build a lifelong foundation.
I've been in this type of relationship for 12 years. I stopped feeding into it. I started building my relationship with the Lord and he has opened my eyes towards this person. I started praying for this person and their strong holds and now this person is slowly but surely changing into a healthier person, its amazing what God can do!
I doubt it. Sorry but really that does not happen. I have heard therapist talk about this sort of delusion. I believe in god and I believe he changes the narcissist around us by helping us leave. The narcissist do not change.
Oof i do not see this comment ageing well
@@animalshelter9623 Then you do not truly believe in the power of God! God can change anyone!
@@dasowle89 Well, how is it going today with your narcissist? Did they change or are you just making excuses for them and trying harder? They are exactly the same as they were if you are still with them.
This person has an inability to love.
This person See's you as supply.
This person has unhealed damage.
The only time love and appreciation is shown to me is when I’m doing something for him that he wants me to do. I don’t ask for anything but to be treated good and he can’t even do that smallest thing. I just ended it tonight and honestly, I think I’m finally ready to walk away. I have never in my life felt like I do for my fiancé and I know for a fact he feels that way about me. He is always wanting something and his way and if I don’t do it, I’m the enemy. Someone that claims they love you so much but throws you away like trash constantly.
I super appreciate your insights on narcissists! You really get at the core of their dysfunctions. I'm an LMSW and used to work with them a good deal, my experience is that many are not as unaware as you describe, but rather they don't care that they're treating people as objects or hurting them. They know precisely what they're doing, some can even talk about their behavior in great details, they simply don't care, they lack a conscience and believe that they're special and are entitled to treat people as they do. Some even know that there is no there there to them, and that they're playing roles and acting, but they rationalize it by saying everyone does this. It's chilling to listen to them reveal these things, but they do in the right circumstances because doing so makes them feel special.
Wow freaking wow. 4 years of questions I had answered in this one video. 💥👍🏼
Gratitude is key! Be grateful there is no resistance from other person. Gratitude is so helpful in recovery from the past, in acceptance. I guide myself and others to daily affirm one resource that will allow us to connect with ourselves. In this case, no longer being hindered by that person that did not serve us. Best wishes to us all!
One of the dangers of this kind of relationship is we get trained to both focus on what the other person wants or doesn’t want AND react by living according to what we DON’T want (a toxic relationship). It’s really important to refocus on what YOU do want. That might start out with defaulting to your list of “don’t wants” so ask yourself, “If I didn’t have that, what would I have?” For example, if you don’t want to have to run your calendar by your partner before making a commitment, what do you want? You might decide: I want to decide my priorities and set my own schedule. I want to jointly talk through how we’re going to handle our own free time. Etc. The more clear you are about what you DO want, your frame of mind changes. As the saying goes, you have a much greater chance of hitting the target if you know where it is!
I wish I would have had this mind set back in 2003 when I met my ex-husband and married him in 2005. I finally got divorced in 2016 and still asking myself questions and feel traumatized from this whole relationship. Thanks for your comment.
@jon smith that happened to me. It took me over a year to breathe and begin to get beyond my plea, “Wait! I don’t get it, let’s talk about this!”
@@LauraVee63 I get you. I think most of us our far more clear about what we DON’T want rather than what we do. Living from what we do want puts us back in control of our lives rather than defending. Divorce is gut wrenching no matter the reason, I’ve experienced it too. Glad you’ve been able to move on.
Well said!👌🏼
This is so true. But it took me so long to find out. I'm such an idealistic person. And I was so madly in love with him that didn't see this reality in the first time. And I couldn't believe it first as friends and family members told me that sad truth. But time after time it became obvious to me.
Best wishes to you. Thanks for your help. 🙏
Great analysis! My narc ex husband just walked out of a 11 year relationship on a whimp, leaving behind all he could have ever wished for. 3 months later he had filed for divorce. He didn't even want to have a trial separation or give the marriage a chance through counselling. I wanted counselling, he just refused, totally unable and unwilling to work on himself
This is my husband exactly. He didn't even want to try to fix things. He'd rather run away and avoid having to admit there were problems with himself. I had a lot of counseling and did a lot of work on myself. Wasn't good enough for him. After ten years, I've been discarded, and I'm starting over.
This resonates with me 😢 My SO did not even try or make an effort. They treated me so mean and cold then went MIA. They are running blaming the marriage instead of looking inward at their own issues. No closure at all. But they made sure that they attacked my character and said what they had to say. I couldn’t even express my feelings or get out what I wanted. It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. There’s no healthy communication with someone who is committed to misunderstanding you.
You ladies were lucky. Working on the relationship in therapy only gives them more insight into your weaknesses so they can abuse you even more. I know bc that is what happened to me 3 times in my 30 year relationship with a Narc.
@@kendras250 I used to fully explain myself as to why his behavior was causing me to not be turned on by him or sometimes not wanting to be around him. Instead of him comprehending what I was saying he summed it up to "I don't know how to love him" it was so exhausting and stressful being misunderstood so much I've never dealt with this before in my life.
Its heartbreaking to see so many comments from victims. Your insights are super valuable. Recovery from a narcissistic relationship is the most pain you'll ever experience. The mind is powerful so when it gets confused and manipulated by another, figuring out what is real is impossible. Its like grieving but 10x worse because your thoughts get skewed and you lose sense of self.
I miss her so much even though she had messaged other men while we were dating, screamed and yelled at me. She discarded me multiple times. I introduced her to my son and he asked the other day if she could come over. Now she’s told me she’s going to see other people. I reacted by telling her that she’s going to continue to cheat and that she’s drinking with her medications so she’s not straight like she use to be. She turned me into a stranger when we were so close.
Thank you so much! I left a narcissist recently and am currently healing from this experience. Everything that you shared is spot on. I'm gonna check out your class because I wonder if there is something about me that attracts this type of person to me. Why is it that I cannot tell the difference between a healthy relationship or a narcissistic one? I want to heal and move on, but I feel stuck. He recently reached out to me, but I'm ignoring him & blocked the digits, so no phone calls or texts.
It’s difficult but you are doing the right thing. Stay strong 💪. It is a lot to process. I am 4 months of no contact.
Stephanie Lyn, you are truly a Godsend! Your channel has been my lifeline (along with a few others) as I’ve navigated healing just a few months out since the “discard”. It’s really such a mindF, going through this. It’s so helpful to know I’m not alone in what I’m experiencing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for giving me clarity and peace of mind. 🙌❤️
Oh Susanna, You are not alone trust me. There's a bunch of out here saying what just happened. We found out that we were with the DEVILS CHILDREN. No Joke. But that's who they are. We Live in the LIGHT they live in DARKNESS.
It doesn't have to even be romantic relationship. My best friend who was like a sister did this to me. One of the deepest hurts I've ever ever had to go thru. I look back and see so many times in our friendship when she did it to others without flinching. I never thought of her as a narc before, but now after almost 10 years my eyes are opening. Brutal in any type of relationship.
The only one who said the D word was the Narcissist as soon as we were married and he quit being intimate from the "I do's." His coworker told me he has been with on a woman whom he works with. He didn't deny what I was told. I asked him why he married me and he told me he needs someone to take care of him when he's dying.
GREAT VIDEO STEPHANIE!!! WHEN I WAS MARRIED, I WAS THE SILENT PARTNER. THAT THINKING DOES NOT WORK ANYMORE. I WANT HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS TO START WITH. THEN GO FROM THERE.
This video answered a lot of questions about my last relationship and nailed everything spot-on. Tough pill to swallow but necessary one. Thank you so much.
Yup I was married to this for 12 years. He played the role of loving me pretty well at times. Such a mind F
The first time my ex Narc gf moved in with me one night she kept telling me she wanted to talk with me (she never really communicated on any level other than sex) I was brushing it off because I was very busy cooking a difficult dinner. I had a minute and went back in my room where she grabbed my hand and looked me square in my eyes and with tears pouring out her eyes, she told me she just wanted to thank me for being the greatest thing that had ever happened to her and her then 2 year old daughter and said that she thanks God every day for giving her such an amazing gift and that she lived me more than anyone and anything in the world. She said she was going to be my wife one day and that I was going to be the happiest man alive with my new family.
Well…fast forward like 2 months where I had to ask her to move out for lying, and staying out all weekend at the bars and drinking (she said she didn’t drink) (I’m over 11 years sober) and she hoovered me for nights straight and I didn’t bite. That’s summer I saw her with another guy and she was busy drinking and running all over the place partying and gaining attention while I worked all alone on my entire house remodel that we started together on her word that she was in it 100%. She came to my place and begged me to take her back and that night I asked her how she could tell me things like she had in my room that day and believe that God put us together and then go with other guys and sleep wirh them and drink and party and throw it in my face knowing I am staying tue to all of my words and commitments. She said she didn’t say that and actually said she didn’t remember ever saying that to me. That was the most intimate conversation we had ever had and she didn’t even recall it at all and never did admit to saying those things. That was one of the strangest occurrences I’ve ever had with another human being and I’ve actually been shot at several times…this young covert female single mom takes the cake. She brought it Rj a whole other level of manipulation and invalidation.
I don't need anyone to love or live, I appreciate the company and partnership but when you continually tell someone that they are not meeting your needs and want to suck every part of you out well then that is what happens.
I am floored by this!!! I cannot even grasp how accurate this is!!! I am speechless
You're spot on the truth. This resonates with me as I have been honest with myself concerning a couple of individuals who exhibit these various traits. I'm mourning the loss of what??? What was real to me and quite pretentious and superficial of them. 💯
Right we go into deep mourning over something that never really existed. They just walk away
I broke up with a narc. I felt great afterwards. She caused me great stress. I remember one time while arguing with her I developed a headache so bad I could feel the blood bubbling (so to speak) in my skull. Like my head was about to explode. We broke up and I instantly felt better. I remember having high blood pressure with her and after the break up, it down to normal.
this is exactly 💯 person about someone I never knew . Bless you all and stay strong 💪🏼
I'm going through this right now and I'm about to walk out soon... exactly on spot..
Stephanie, you are right most people have a wall around them it is like a disease. Those people are unable to show who they are, often emotionally unavailable. I will often find over and over again that those people are expecting that somebody will come into their life however they are unable to break those walls around them.
If the person is an alcoholic I'm running not walking away. I don't want anything like that rubbing off on me.
Tammy Real,You are beautiful 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
I’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse by my mother, 2 boyfriends and 1 best friend. After these people I’ve become better at spotting them and walking away isn’t a problem now. So “walking away easily” isn’t just a narcissistic trait, it becomes a survival skill of victims. I usually give someone the benefit of a doubt before walking away. I gave my bf two years because I was hopeful I was wrong, but the moment he continued to cross my boundaries I went no contact and didn’t regret it. As soon as I cut communication I felt a vail of negativity lift off of me, that’s when I knew I made the right choice. 🤔
Subscribed. I've only recently realized my sister is very likely a Narcissist. And now the more I learn about the condition, the more I feel dumb for not realizing it sooner.
Thank you for this. I am suffering and trying to understand what is happening and why. How can they live with themselves?
Its disgusting...and they have zero remorse
They feed off of others. They only, use, abuse and discard in cycles. The victim decides for how many cycles.. very sad existence 😢
This was the most hurtful thing I've ever been through.
exactly this! I’m heavily pregnant and as soon as my narc ex found out he ran for the hills, it’s not been easy either with a high risk pregnancy and having to go back and forth to the hospital countless times over the months to have IV drips, injections and monthly scans and the narc could care less. Too busy drinking and laughing it up with other heavy drinkers like himself women in particular.. these people really are cold nasty Individuals.
I'm so sorry for all that you are going through Rochelle. I truly hope that you will find some relief in the love that you'll soon share with your child... Wishing you an easy and quick delivery, dear. 💗😰
Please get with people who care about you. They will get you through
There’s a better man out there for you
oh man, I hate narcs… I hope you have other people in your life to turn to ❤
Thanks...very helpful. It is hard for an empathic person to believe another person is not empathic.
Wow . For the first time I'm understanding why he left me. He is narcissistic and emotionally abusive without even realizing it
Wow, THANK YOU so much for explaining in such detail. It makes sense, it’s sad but true because for me it’s no longer denial it’s a reality of someone I thought I knew but now realize it was just a fantasy. Ugh….for sure, now knowing it was just a fantasy that was not at all real. Truth exposed…it is what it is.
I really connected with this one. Thank you
You Nailed It....
Great Video 👍 She had a mask on and I never saw it until after I was discarded
Just about 2 weeks ago my husband just discarded me. No remorse, no regret. It's scary. He left me with all the bills, the rent and even took the car I bought him...If that was not enough, I found out he only married to gain a green card....these people have no mercy...from verbal to physical abuse to financial abuse...why was I so blind
because you are a kind and loving person.
omg.
I really NEEDED to hear this Truth.
Thank You for explaining it so good.
Knowing this will enable me to heal.
💗
I needed this. In so much pain and confusion right now. Thank you.
After 14 yrs single since my narcissistic ex finally got what she wanted, another victim to abuse, and we divorced, I am finally seeing the light, thanks to you. Your chats are exactly what I experienced. Insecure partner who just is not who I married. Her mask came off over night.
I love this!!! Once again you make it make sense!!! I'm just an object to him.. but thank you
All of your videos are great and this is the best one yet! Thank you so much for offering so much of your knowledge with us for free! You help people heal and understand. 💫❤🙌
Amber M,You are beautiful,hope you are not with a narcissist....
Amber M,Hope you are with a good man