I shared this with my wife when i found it. I tried to explain things in my head but i feared she didnt understood so by sharing this it helped her understand. After she watched it she came in and sat on my lap and hugged me tight telling me how much she loved me. She is an extrovert and she has helped me feel more comfortable interacting with other people. She is an amazing woman.
Yes!!! Agreed. We're instant, natural targets of this. I just bow out from the world, while backing behind the curtain, and exit through the back door into my peaceful, quiet home and just live in my little world - it's an energy saver!!!
7 Dark Traits of Introverts 1. Bad attitude towards teamwork 2. Overthinking 3. Self-Depreciation 4. Bottling up emotions 5. Pessimism 6. Lost of identity 7. Cutting off contact Thnx for the likes :) Especially from Psych2go
There are different types of introverts not all introverts has self-Depreciation, and if about overthinking 😏😁 and not all introverts doesn't cuts off relationship or cuts off contacts, the thing is that they are not good with communication so sometimes people try to avoid them and this way they comes out lonely introverts. And about mix of emotions not all Introverts are same if you get to know a introverts closely then some introverts comes pretty enjoyable, some of them are they are pretty enjoyable than you think, the thing is that they are not good social communication skills.
I am an introvert but do not relate at all to these dark traits. Except maybe #7. But not on purpose. I just start isolating and rather keep to myself more than hang out with people.
As an introvert I must shamelessly say that I can apply myself to every single example. I used to be like that. The good thing is I made some progress and stopped bottling myself from people close to me and started noticing my own value. Sending power to all introverts that has to deal with any of this traits. Stay strong, folks. 💪🏻
I used to bottle things up but I stopped doing that as I aged. Now I don't care what someone thinks, if I don't like something then they are definitely going to know about it.
same, i figured out that anxiety stems from an overactive imagination of potential social situations, now i think of people as NPC's that only interacts if you start a conversation, i gave my anxiety a proverbial shot in the back of the head
Signs You Might Be an Introvert: Need quiet to concentrate. Are reflective. Are self-aware. Take time making decisions. Feel comfortable being alone. Don't like group work. Prefer to write rather than talk.
0:59 Introduction 1:00 BAD ATTITUDE TOWARDS TEAMWORK 1:32 OVERTHINKING 2:15 SELF-DEPRECATION 2:47 BOTTLING UP EMOTIONS 3:25 PESSIMISM 4:03 LOST OF IDENTITY 4:37 CUTTING OFF CONTACT 5:21 CREDITS
@@Sheer37111 I am not going to elaborate why I say what I say. Your skull comment implies I miss the point and will follow a grave mistake. But simply put, I doubt you will ever find a video that talks about the dark side of extroverts as much as it does here, and perhaps you will get the hint of that.
That's not a response I get very often. Other introverts understand that you don't need to fill a long pause with chatter. In conversation with extroverts, I am aware that I have maybe a two second break to communicate an idea before being interrupted.
I wish I at least got that. With me people usually just give up and walk away after a few seconds. It's like if I don't talk, then I just stop existing in their eyes
The only reason I "ghost" people is because they never contact me first. It's always me who contacts them to keep the friendship going, so I give up and let them be. I have only like, one friend who ever DMs me. I don't generally go around making friends anyways and have always preferred having a small friend group anyways. The only other time a friend DMed me was for help on his geometry homework.
Same here too....it's something that I was really bothered about and kept thinking that it's my fault...I tried texting them again but they don't really text first...so these days I also stay silent
I literally have the same problem. I have a friend that moved to another state a year ago. Since then we write everyday, but I dont really have friends here. It just makes someone feel extremely unimportant and lonely if that person has to always keep up the work to have contact. And I dont spam them, I usually write them twice a week. Its just quite tiring to be forgotten that easily. But it all also brings some peace with it, like having no meetups in stressing sorroundings or public places xD You can be happy with yourself but its nice to know that you have someone to go out with and just have a bit of cmpany. I hope this made sense '^^
I’m an introvert and yes to all of these. And I have lost friends because they felt I didn’t reach out enough for them. Each time I was completely bewildered by this. I thought the amount of contact we had was fine. I’ve stopped even trying any more. I have my hubby and daughter and sister. That’s plenty for me.
I get you, yes to all of these too, since childhood I never really had a close friend, even if I did, they left anyway. I also stopped trying to look for friends, I don't really care anymore, but I guess in a way that's good, because we might find the right people.
I felt my " friends" didn't reach out enough for me so i didn't try to keep contact with them. Although‚ i don't dislike them and i would answer if they tried to contact me.
The no.6 "lost of identity" hit's my soul hard. Introverts fact: some of the introverts sometimes pretend to be a different person to fit in the surrounding people and environment. That's where they tend to loose and forgot who they are and how they usually act. In my case. I think I have pretended to much that I forgot how I act in the past
I'm having a real fuckin' hard time with that one. Sober for 7mos, drunk for 15 years. Don't really remember what made me be before. Only a couple friends that still have my back, so that's nice at least.
@@tnmoe- I know it's hard but don't give up because there will be that "one day" that you'll be so glad and proud that you didn't give up. Hope this helps
@@enderhunt227 - Word, thanks dude, your encouraging words are appreciated. I typed that out rather quickly, but I was/still am an introvert to many faults; the drink was just liquid courage. Take care, and thanks again.
Introverts are introverts even when hating, we literally direct all the bad feelings to ourselves, and even when is a bad feeling directed to someone else, it just stay inside ourselves making us mental ill
In a extroverted world people just don’t understand us like we are not human, I’m often pessimistic and realistic about everything so much so I do it by accident so i distance my self from my friends and i get lonely so I tell my self I’m worthless and honestly I just wanna lie in my bed and cry but it’s impossible with Being judged for crying “ no reason” and my dad being a b**** will take what makes me happy which over quarantine I have lost a lot of...
girl i’m telling you, i have it too. what i did was i write my heart out in my phone. sometimes, i put a lock on them for extra protection. lol. i hated on someone till i reached my limit. (probably cause it kindof triggered my anxiety as well) i broke out into tears, my jaw feels numb my throat feels like there’s something disturbing. so i rant my emotions in my notes in my phone and it did calmed me a bit. but when i reread all my writing again, it kind of make me feel bitter. cause i just couldn’t open up to literally anyone.
@@rxdisabigboy6446, You need help seriously. You are what you said and of course, it appears that it's extreme and intense that can affect the mental, emotional psyche. I've been through this. I was hurting myself doing these things. I was selfish to wallow in self-pity. It took a 5th trip to the psychiatrist ward to understand completely the situation I was diagnosed with BiPolar. I take meds that a big plus. The moods I and emotions are pretty much stabilized. Here the meds I take Lamotrigine. Buspirone. and Quentinline. I pray you to seek help from mental health providers. I promise you will see a big difference and it's all for the best!
@@iamyu I know its hard for introverts to show their emotions in front of others or to tell them when something is wrong but i know one thing, keeping all your bad emotions for yourself will destroy you for sure. You have to lash out your anger before it consumes you, that can be in many ways, the extreme one being taking vengeance. Idk what this person did to you but dont let it slide
As an introvert, it’s not that I despise teamwork. I just need the confirmation that each role in the team is understood. What I really despise are people who do the absolute minimum and coast along on other people’s work and effort, with little to no contribution.
Exactly, the work it takes to get everyone to buy in , or accept the roles they have be assigned, always seems underwhelming, so we might as well do it ourselves, and that’s when the one that coasted along and did the least gets praised and will happily take the credit of our hard work or participation , cause everyone seems to always be breaking the chain of commands , assuming and bypassing these foundational processes, that usually ends up in some sort of chaotic disorganization , IMO , but I hope to be proved wrong 😑
You know, I find that it benefits me a lot more when I call out such people. Yes they will attack you for calling them out, but you'll actually respect yourself a lot more for it.
It's a little different with me. I don't despise teamwork either. If anything I can see the benefits of great teamwork. It's just that i'd rather be able to do everything on my own. The idea that i need others bugs me to say the least... It's a trust thingy.
Years ago I took a bunch of psychological tests, and on one, I was told I was "off the charts" on the introversion scale. When they explained that an introvert was someone who needs time alone to gather the energy to be around other people, I felt like I finally understood myself. That knowledge gave me a lot of insight into myself and helped me to navigate the world. I'm very comfortable with being who I am now.
There is no such thing as off the charts introversion. A normal test has a scale of 0 to 100. I'm a 95. Also, I have my own simple introversion test: How many days out of 100 would you like to spend alone? Probably not all of them.
@@Gaze73 At the time I got the results, my doctor used that figure of speech and told me that I was "kind of off the charts" in two areas. I realize(d) that my scores did not go beyond the unit of measure set up for the tests, but that I had scored particularly high in two areas. And during the pandemic I went for months at a time without talking to anyone in person and felt none the worse for it.
I only discovered that I was an I introvert in my college days and throughput my life until that point I thought it was just me in the whole world who was like this
i’m an introvert the part which said that we tend to cut off contact hit me hard i have lost many friends because they thought i didn’t like talking to them or something i’ve gone months on end without communicating to people and i don’t talk to them anymore which makes me sad, but when i DO talk to people, i get exhausted and can’t seem to tell them that i am tired and will talk to them later i feel guilty about it and i don’t know if this is a thing only introverts do (probably not) but i have always shown myself as a person who makes other people want to be comfortable around me, people usually come to me for advice or just to share their feelings, i want to do that too but i feel like i’m too much of a burden on them and that makes me bottle up everything, i really want to open up but i’m scared to.
Helloooo [Also the following content is kind of annoying so yeah] Thank you for sharing a side of your story I can relate to :') I also tend to cut off contact with my friends and now aquaintances (I'm sure I wrote that word incorrectly). I do feel bad when I don't update to my friends after weeks or months. Most of the time, when i do, I go all in, like a single evening is what it takes... then I feel that I did it... and that's it. I don't feel the need to talk to them anymore as I really went out already, trying to be as bubbly as possible but also with a hint of my real personality. It feels wrong to do so but I can't stop that cycle. I once shared to my cousin that I don't enjoy the texts I'm sharing with a new friend. I'll just say T, my friend, appeared to be into me and wanted to get to know me. I also found T interesting. I was having a good time the first days, T texted me every day... literally... and that became upsetting and unbearable to me. I didn't enjoy our conversations as much as before, it all seemed rushed as hell and I didn't see myself keeping up. My cousin told me to just tell T the truth because why not just clarify instead of ghosting. And I did. I told T that I needed time, days, until we could talk again. I knew T was weirded out about my request and now we barely keep contact and I don't want to change things for now. Yeah... long comment but I needed to get it all out. I feel bad about it but I don't let myself linger on it, as I have a lot of distractions. If I don't, I overthink a lot. Voila~
hey! we both over think a lot haha i totally agree with you, honestly i try not to let it affect me too much but my overthinking has become worse haha (+trust issues, it makes everything complicated :’D) there’s this one friend i have who i have told what i feel inside and i haven’t ever told anyone else, but now they talk to me everyday and they also take me as their most best friend, i want to tell them that i don’t talk to people everyday since it’s physically exhausting for me but i don’t want to come off as annoyed or pissed, i can’t do anything about it so i keep making excuses, i understand exactly how you feel and i’m happy you told T how you feel about the conversation y’all were having :D! and no you are not annoying, i assure you :)
@@evirji7844 Well woah I had a friend who wanted to be my best friend and wanted to hang out outside of middle school (it's been like 6 years now). And I didn't react well :') I thought "oh... you want us to go outside? Like outside to hang out?" I was surprised and maybe that person misunderstood the situation... it's not that I didn't want to hang out but was surprised by the possibility of hanging out outside of classes (weird yeah). That person came with good intentions but gradually became toxic (I only noticed it after we parted ways... officially because they messaged me they just wanted to be friends now... yeah I had to recover afterwards), and since that I somehow absorbed that person's feelings, I lost myself in problems I wasn't even concerned with, made a lot of bad and sad decisions :'/ clearly the worst and the most confusing years of my life. Aaaand I'm ranting again woooah :'D I gotta go because I might expose my miserable life here :)))) Also thank you ♡ English spelling is hard :/
For those who feel guilty about ghosting people, remember communication is a two-way street. If they aren't trying to contact you either, then they aren't making an effort either. If you want to reconnect with them though, just send them a message and they may respond. Someone just needs to make the first move.
@@Charcosombrio_22 I know. I posted that for people who think they've ghosted somebody when that isn't the case since that somebody isn't contacting them either. I used to feel that way about some people.
True :) I usually do not mind some quietness, for me friends are still friends even when we do not talk every day (I guess that works for most of us). But others see this as a reason to regard the friendship as "ended". Which seem kind of childish to me. It's not forbidden to ask anyone "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while, what's up?"
Introverts are not broken. We do not need to be fixed. Learning techniques or tricks to help you through certain situations can be helpful. Remember, though, that you are not fixing yourself, you’re adapting to difficult situations.
@@steffirmts3056 Have you read Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”? I think it should be required reading for the world’s extroverts who keep trying to fix us (especially supervisors). 🤔🙂
I can see where your coming but id have to disagree. Atleast until I find some evidence that you can never really live without a flaw which is unlikely. Either way fixing seems like a better description to me than adapting, however adapting makes it feel less harsh 😂
The following bit about teamwork had me laughing out loud: "It can produce greater results if the teammates are compatible and communicate in a healthy way." This only happens in the rarest of cases, if ever. Welcome to the real world of work, where teamwork in most cases is a drag and there will always people that take advantage of the team, leaving those that actually want to get the work done, with more work. Oh, and let's not forget the arguers and naysayers. So, yes, I believe, 90% of the time I CAN do better when I'm working alone. ;)
It varies, in a smaller team where you all get along well it can actually be fun, this is the one thing on the list that I don't have a problem with myself, but maybe the only thing on the list.
True -- I actually built a small-scale chemical plant almost all by myself, and the ONLY difficulties I had was on the rare occasions when I had to get parts from contractors (they could NEVER do ANYTHING right the first time, on one occasion I actually had to threaten one with criminal prosecution because they supplied me a fitting with insufficient pressure rating, which would have burst under pressure and possibly killed someone if I had installed it)!
You know, the strangest thing about being an introvert is being so comfortable being alone. It has its uses sure but it makes it very difficult to get out there and meet someone. Especially in this incredibly socially isolated time we live in.
the belief that introverts like being alone is a myth. they like reduced stimulation because they do everything more deeply. has nothing to do with being alone or not
Yes I relate :((...Actually I hate being an introvert because of that... So many interesting ppl around me I would like to talk to but I can't.... even if I talk to someone I try hard to pretend I am not introvert. I can totally relate to the "lost of identity"
The reality is, a lot of us introverts became introverts through circumstances in our lives, we are in a way, cursed with knowing that we can't relate to the majority. This leads to a lot of us shutting down, and avoiding people because we can't find anyone that's "like us." I was pretty extroverted in the past during my younger ages. But as trauma has popped up time and time again I have spiraled into being a complete introvert. We are very analytical of our surroundings, and can mimic emotional auras around us. However, that isn't truly who we are, a lot of us are often very sad, low people. We know the truth of how the world truly is, and we simply can't adopt that happy go lucky persona because we know that life itself, is rarely a happy thing. For a lot of us who have lost people in our lives to death or even abandonment, we quickly judge those around us. Often comparing ourselves to others. One of the biggest things as an introvert that I deal with is always feeling like a burden to those around me. And it's difficult for me to fit in with society, because I simply can't relate to the masses.
please dont make this a "introvert things" kinda thing, i was like this for a long time and put the label "introvert" on myself, youre not sad because youre an introvert you're sad because you have unresolved trauma that you stuck the label "introvert" over it. all introvert means is that being around other people takes away your energy instead of gives you energy. it doesnt mean youre a lone wolf and analyitical because you have the tendancy to isolate yourself and cut people off in your life no one knows how the world truely works but people with depression that see no hope in life think they do and get stuck in this cycle of believing the worst and feeling the world. i'm literally exactly like this and i just called myself an introvert bc of it but these are symptoms of mental health issues, i would isolate myself, i felt tired all the time, i self depricate, i feel like a burden to everyone even my friends and i cut people off all the time, esspeically as a kid i didnt have friend because i thought "i couldnt relate to anyone." but really i couldnt relate to anyone because... well, you dont know what you dont know and unaddressed hidden mental issues make you feel EXTREMELY LONELY and literally cause all the things in this video, people pleasing, copying personalities to be liked, bottling it all up also people who arent introverts arent "happy go lucky loud annoying idiots" anyways was eventually diagnosed with depression, an anxiety disorder, personality disorder and adhd (which adhd doesnt really matter in this point but when it wasnt diagnosed and i had no clue why i was the way i was, it did intensify the symptoms of everything else.) definitely not introverted bc of this though, feel like its easier to say amniverted or whatever it is. because really all introverted and extroverted and all that means is how you gain and lose your mental energy all these symptoms are huge signs of smth internally thats unresolved, not signs of a personality trait
Interesting but still inconclusive, but believe it's due in large part to me being Christian! Allow me to elaborate ,yes I have shut some people out, yes I like to be solace, and for sure I've over thought everything ten times before I say them, but I've also managed, To successfully combine both those identities, the bad,and the good, bringing a balance! Because I've realized that they help one another, for example when the good guy is, About to deal with someone negative, such as a manipulative person, The bad guy steps up protecting the good guy,because he understands his self- characteristics there by coexisting in a well balanced understanding of one's self! Hope this helps someone! Most people tend to go back and forth between their two minds which is why sometimes they seem indecisive or confusing to themselves, but I can tell you very briefly how to avoid this if interested, let me know! God bless
I'm like exactly what you said..I was an extrovert when I was younger and as I grew older I slowly started becoming an introvert, I myself don't even know what happened for me to change like this. I always end up copying the people around me and start acting like them (I sometimes dont even realize it) more specifically my sister since im always near her, hell even the way I talk has been influenced by her..Anyways like I said at the start, what you just wrote/typed is basically me
That's not what being introverted is, you more likely have depression w some degree of anxiety probably bc of the trauma u spoke of either way U need to sort your mental health ... *You cannot become or change to be introverted/extroverted , idk how the general ideea came that u can "switch" between being one or the other of course into/extroversion does get influenced by your environment at a young age and your genes do allow a certain amount of flexibility in response wich are like a set of points that act as an upper or under limit of how much inro/extroversion u can handle with your ersonality type. In the day to day life u (have to ) socialize with other people either way, an introvert gets there social battery run down faster than an extrovert and feel more confortable focusing on your inner world than the external one * Intovertness and extrovertness is how the brain is wired to gain energy , deal with outside stimulation and process information of course.
You may never read this, but thank you for uploading this video, I have gone to therapy for many periods of time through my life... But never did any of my therapists understand, the problem I had with overthinking things for a long time, I thought I was different in a negative way to everyone, because no one that I knew ever understood that problem... But seeing this video comforts me a lot because it makes me realize that I am nothing special, am just a simple person with some negative of my personality. Thank you for helping me humanize myself.
No. 6 'Lost of identity' hits me so hard. I've spend such a long time pretending to be someone who is able to fit in a specific environment till i've lost touch of what i used to be in the past. And it makes me feel sad, because at times i just feel so lost at who i'm supposed to be. i don't even know who i am anymore.
You're not alone here. It took me close to 3 years for all the other identities to wear off. Trust me I was going into depression and coming out like I was going to the loo. But I can boldly say today that I found my true identity in Jesus Christ.
@@ivevivizen1385 if you act like what you want to be, you will become what you wanted to become. The thing is, you become what you think you are, because you act in the way you think... We all are acting like what we think we are. And if we change our thoughts of how, we feel about ourselves which is easy, We can change ourselves. Like for example people think that they are losers and they start to act like that and consequently they become a loser.... So, think and act wisely, As Your life depends upon them.
I'm an introvert, who was painfully shy as a child, and found it hard to make friends. It's interesting to hear about extroverts optimism about unwise things. I have always thought that pessimism stopped me from trying harmful things, such as smoking or alcohol. Instead of thinking that getting hooked only happens to 'other people', I realise that to most of the world I am one of the other people. I also think that being a loner protected me from peer pressure. When I grew up, I worked full-time in a psychiatric unit for 10 years. Coming in contact with alcoholics, vindicated my choice to be a 'boring teetotaller.'
Same here -- as an introvert, I was practically immune from peer pressure unless they literally physically intruded into my life (e.g. by stealing my school supplies to force me to react)!
I think the hardest person for any introvert to confront is themselves. After all, you’re the only one who truly knows everything about yourself, and thus your subconscious has the power to twist your past into something that you despise yourself for. Confronting that darker side of your subconscious is one of the hardest things to do.
Confronting my dark side is like trying to stop a truck. If I try to fight it, it just ends up making me feel worse. Also, I thrive on the dark side of myself. It would be like trying to tear myself apart.
the self deprecating and cutting off contact thing is pretty true. there are very few people i can genuinely tolerate and i generally dont have problems cutting people off, even friends or relatives
Hello, fellow introvert. I’ve done that in spades, became reclusive and gave myself donkey brain for a bit. Now that I’ve gone back to in-person work. I feel like I’m on autopilot with no filter, without a care in the world and surface level conversation. edit: send help
@@davedoe4932 that kind of thing is definitely a dream of sorts to me lol. but its gonna be harder than it looks, doesnt mean i wont try to have a comfortable life. i dont take this in a bad way though, for people like me who can easily cut people from their lives, it should also be easy to prevent/ get rid of toxic relationships.
I think introverts get tired of trying to be what others want them to be. This causes loss of identity and anxiety trying to please others. Sometimes we just have to lose friend's we needed losing for our own sanity.
Trust me, tired of being what others want you to be, or the idea of you, that they have built up in their heads. Being tired of that is an understatement. I got beyond tired, I got angry, angry at everyone and everything, just as the pandemic hit. I cut off everyone. Friends and all family members. After 9 months I allowed a small handful back into my life. After emerging from that isolation as who I really am. And the best thing I could have done is tell everyone that this is who I am, and if they don't like it, to leave and never come back. And life is easier believe me.
Yes to this comment! It’s okay and natural for some of us to want to be alone more and not keep in constant contact with certain people in our lives. For me all my real ride or die friends are the ones that are comfortable not being in regular contact. Years can go by and it’s okay because we all have our lives to live. It’s hard when certain friends can’t understand, but it’s even harder to blame yourself and think that you’re in the wrong and need to change. Honestly I think that us introverts that keep to ourselves and set boundaries in order to not feel overwhelmed and anxious can be helpful for extroverts to witness. Just because technology allows us to communicate with the world instantly doesn’t mean it’s the only way to exist. For centuries it wasn’t even a thing! The extroverts are just louder and the self proclaimed hermits like me are just living their lives quietly and happily. It’s taken me 41 years to realize my shyness and want to be alone is not a BAD thing. It’s the core of who I am and that’s okay.
@@thedeadd.c.207 I totally agree with you. People trying to strip you of who you truly are is something I've struggled with my whole life. I'm happy being the person I'am today. Those type of people are not your friends at all. Just be yourself unapologetically & if doing that costs you friendships, best thing to do is accept everything, expect nothing, & keep moving forward. It does make life so much easier.🙏
No man, extroverts have this issue too. Everyone does. People are expected to be a certain way. Introvert has nothing to do with not liking that. These two things have nothing to do with how you feel. Only with how you act. So in your example, let's say you're a super proactive person. But you're an introvert. You may start writing pointing out all the issues with society at large or something similar. An extrovert that is also a proactive person with the same feeling may find or start a group or society to band together to support each other and protest or something. Both feel the same but have different results. So an inactive introvert may just spend enough time outside of their safe space, usually home, but wherever they feel they can recharge, to survive and find safety within. Maybe an obsessive online gamer. Or someone that builds their own "fortress of solitude" to watch sports alone. An inactive extrovert may find a small quiet group of friends where they can be themselves without judgement from the outside. Say a game store that holds weekly get to together. Or a weekly sport watching event with a few true friends. Again both feel the same but react different. And no one is a true introvert or extrovert. Everyone needs social interaction for a healthy mind and everybody needs alone time as well. If you always want to be alone, you're depressed and need to see a doctor. Not an introvert. Even extreme extroverts can get depressed and collapse into themselves. Depression is not introversion.
This is the first time I hear of the term ''ghosting'' and it makes sense as part of my introvertedness. I've ghosted people throughout my life, unintentionally and intentionally. I've lost friendships because of unintentional ghosting and still feel guilt about it to myself many years later. When you say no two times to people it becomes easy to say no a 3rd time, and then you wonder if they still like you and you may feel embarrassed, so you may no longer try. At least I now I have a word for this dark trait. I don't mind being an introvert but it has its own curses.
Whats interesting is that many of these introvert traits are also trauma symptoms. I always though that any form of psychological trauma can turn someone into an introvert. Like bottling up emotions, cutting contact with people, and fear of conflict. These are ways some people cope with their traumas. Introversion can even be a coping mechanism.
You hit the nail right in the head. I was an extrovert until I was 6 years old, then trauma happened. Got to see the physical abuse my dad did to my mother for a couple of years. We ran away for a couple more years, that changed my perspective of this world and my demeanor. Now as an adult, I can say I’m an introvert, and don’t regret it. I’m also very susccessful in my life.
introversion seems to become more like a "its more comfortable to say in misery with unresolved and unaddressed issues and not get help" at some points tbh bc if you isolate yourself alot and cut off contact with people all the time (esspeically if you were close to those people you cut off) and dont seek help or support or any kind of communication and just bottle it all up and be a people pleaser, just slapping the label "im just an introvert" on it makes it seem like a normal thing and doesnt give off the signs that they need professional help, not to lock themselves away from the world until they become an empty vessel of a person. I wouldnt really call it a coping mechanism, but if it were to be called that it definitely be a negative one since its kinda denying theres a problem. (though this only includes people of the symptoms above because there are people who dont have these that are introverted by its not like the steroptypes, the sterotypical introvert is just mentally ill/has unresolved truama, real introverts arent just shy, "i hate people" kinda people yknow)
I'd add getting stuck in unhealthy routines such as self-isolating because your room may be less stressful than the outside world. Over time, this makes it hard to do what you used to be able to do, like a form of regression. It happens a lot to those of us who have severe social anxiety.
Oh my gosh yes! I have the tendency to 'putt myself away" in my room as it's safe and comfortable. But that's also where my depression can breed and spiral. I get a bad case of lone wolf syndrome and end up making myself depressed. The more I want to be alone and allow it the worse I end up feeling.
Randomly clicking on this video which, crazy Inter-bot-algorithms recommended is actually becoming quite interesting man! Think I may be a Introvert and didn't even know what that meant until earlier Lol Avoid labels though! ......and self isolating keeps out the people noise and I can do what i want then so.......
This happened to me, had a bad relationship with my brother plus covid made me just not want to do anything and this caused me to now have weight problems, well I had them before but they were made glaringly obvious in this time, last year has been the best year in my life, I was able to get out of this room and actually have friends who cared about me
The pain when you're such a good listener but when it's your turn to speak, they come up with another story to tell about them and your story remains unsaid. Probably the reason I became like this. I just feel so left out and unnoticed. In my high school I had the most amazing friends who'd listen to me all the time and I had such a cheerful personality. But now in college, I've become a introvert and I stay silent most of the time.
Being an introvert basically born without any dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations or ambition whatsoever has been tough. Also not having much of an identity has also been pretty hard. Yet, I have come in terms with myself and who I am. I check most of those boxes in the video too, but I'm not too hard on myself. Overthinking is my greatest enemy by far, followed by near crippling fear of crowds. Just going shopping can and will drain my mental batteries for a few days. The more I can be alone the better. I can experience loneliness, however, something that I have only recently discovered. But only on small doses and when depressed. Making almost any decision is extremely hard and takes ages. The bigger the decision, the longer it takes. And the fact that I have been like this basically my whole life some plus 30 years... It hurts when people accuse me of something when they literally don't know me at all. That I make excuses, that I lie or I'm lazy or something... They can't imagine what it is like... To have no dreams. No hopes. No ambition. Nothing to strive for. Like I'm dead inside. But that's not true at all. I am a kind person, compassionate, a bit oversensitive at times. I just want to live my own life in peace and not bother anyone. I stopped looking for a "cure" a long time ago. Instead of thinking what's wrong with me, I started to understand that it's just who I am. I'm not going to fake myself to become something I'm not. I'm not going to force the change for the sake of other people. Become a fake... a complete stranger in the mirror... If a change comes, it comes and I'll gladly accept it. Appreciate it. Try to understand it. I hope you all have a wonderful day! 😊
I struggle with that. Anytime there's ag group project, either I have to lead and do an Atlas because I fear our work will be bad and our grades low or stay in the back because nobody will consult mw because I lack expertise in that particular subject. I want to be included but I understand why others would do that, and I want help but most can't seem to understand my ideas no matter how simple they are. At least to me.
I was put as Leader of a study group at my university. In the First year. During that year they ignored me and never responded to messages or calls. Not even when we were supposed to present a group work. At the end of the year I was in such severe depression that I needed treatment to prevent suicide. Obviously I was unable to pursue that career to the point that just thinking about it damages my emotional state. The feeling of rejection was too great. I even tried to join other groups while mine failed. but all were already established and avoided contact with others ... with me. Like a shy introvert who was going to be the leader of a group for the first time. I really strive to be a good leader and always have all the information about everything the university requested. I don't want to go through that again in my life.
i more overthink the future and i have few scenarios of what can happen. and usually it goes totally doffrently than any of my suspected turns and i am surprised and scared bc i dont know what will happen
@@Blahsheep overthinking past is as bad tho. :(( and also butterfly efect exist so we can imagine EVERYTHING that would happen bc thats how butterfly efect works
The cutting off contact part really hit home. I've ghosted so many people just because I didn't feel like talking at the moment (since I rarely feel the need to communicate with others) and then time passes, more time passes (I also easily forget, my memory is shit, seriously) and then you feel bad that you haven't answered sooner but then it's been so long that you also can't bring yourself to write back to someone from a month or two ago.... The empathetic part is the main discrepancy for me. I am NOT empathetic, quite the opposite, I very seriously LACK empathy. I DO NOT feel what others do in certain situations. A family member of a friend has passed away, for example. "I feel sorry for your loss" is what I say, and I mean it, but I don't...really feel it. I have no idea what to say to someone who's sad, feeling down, etc. I have no idea how to comfort people in these situations so I tend to avoid or straight up run away from them. It also doesn't help that my mother just does not want to understand that all people aren't the same, extroverts like her just search for more human contact, physically and verbally, while sitting in my room alone is just fine for me and I really don't need more than this. I don't get the understanding in my own home, let alone somewhere out there.
I am exactly in the same situation with my mother like you. She just don't understand that i feel comfort in my room, surronding me by things i like. During qurantene she said to me, i am to much at home and that i should go out. And i was like "we are in the middle of a pandemic, i dont have to leave my room!"
The only way to know what to say to people under those circumstances is to be in situations where you have to handle that regularly. It's kind of like everything else we do as humans, social interactions are a learned skill and require practice to acquire, build upon, and maintain. Which is a catch 22 for introverts because...we're introverts, and don't particularly have a desire to be out there dealing with people. So it's very easy for us to become - and stay - somewhat socially awkward or inept.
I am exactly like you,especially the empathy part,i literally don't feel anything,and when a woman starts talking about feelings and shit like that i almost want to kill myself and have no clue what to answer.
We're more self critical because, unlike the vast majority of extroverts, we actually introspect and therefore actually know ourselves. I'm not saying that this doesn't go too far sometimes, but it makes sense.
Idk why but at 0:05 I just randomly started singing "Too late to hide away, too soon for one to repay"- Maybe I've been listening to FNaF songs a bit too much
All of this are actually me, I wasn't this kind of person back then, but as I grow older and more mature. I started to avoid people and stuff. I like being alone most of the time and spend some time daydreaming and stuff. My parents thought that I'm always on my phone but no, I do some other stuff too like drawing and writing on my journal. Sometimes people just don't understand what it feels like so I decided to stay quiet and focus more to myself.
@@Rozannna it's okay to feel this way, just don't keep your problems all to yourself. It's okay to talk about them, I recommend writing them on a journal to lessen the burden. I hope this helps you🧡. The others as well.
I find one of the worst things about being an introvert for me is that practically everything stays in my head, sometimes it's almost like I have a whole room of people in my head trying to make their situation heard, at any given time I probably have a song, a story, and whatever I'm doing and more all sitting in my head fighting for my attention, it can be pretty overwhelming at times which just leads me to sit and watch youtube videos all day as that is one of few times I don't have all that going on in my nogin
This is hard to deal with. I am learning to relax, especially at night, and just let things go. Due to working online, at home, due to COVID, I found myself not wanting to be on the internet as much. Since I have been off for the summer, I find myself on my devices more than I want to be, so I am working on that. I do not feel as fulfilled when I am on them. Again, something I am aware of that I need to work on.
Both myself and my partner hate confrontation, our fights consist of dirty looks and cold silences. At least we don't upset the neighbours but it means that nothing gets resolved.
Yes I can get lost in my own head overthinking and shifting rapidly from thought to thought. I have gotten lost driving due to the ADHD going on in my brain. I can analyze something so much that I forget what I'm supposed to be doing at work or home.
I am proud to be an introvert, actually. As an introvert, I feel like most extroverts are too dominant (bullies sometimes). I am usually so intimidated by extroverts and I can only be around them for a short time. Also, they seem to flutter from action to action without stopping and I prefer to stand still and sift through information. Even the dark side seems quite alright to me.
The worst part about being this way is living in a world where the only way you can be "happy", surrounded by "normal" people is to constantly force yourself to not be who you are. It's literally like you were born to be your own worst enemy.
That's a very interesting and cogent point. I used to have a bad brink problem 😕. But unlike other people who went out to get drunk I got drunk because I went out.
The one about losing yourself makes so much sense to me, I feel like a completely different person around my friends because I try so hard to make sure everyone’s doing okay and that everyone even likes me. I’ve thought recently about how I could literally be anyone I want to be and how my own personality is just a lost default.
I can relate. I just try to satisfy everybody by changing my personality, how I speak, reply to people. When I'm myself, I always seem to offend people easily, even when I try to avoid doing it.
Welcome to being a chameleon. They're all parts of your personality, just released at different times. Now if only we could be outgoing and social, then we'd be great actors.
Me too... I've also realized that I don't actually know my default(or hidden?) Personality. I have one for each group I'm talking to, and it's a bit hard to figure it out while sitting alone in a room or something.
@@coltonroark5658 same... I legit have a different personality for everyone I'm around, whether it's parents, other family members, different friend groups, girlfriend etc. I always try to mirror those people just to get along with them. I don't know what my actual self is... Heck, given the right circumstances, I could also be the loudest one in the room which is very very rare. I think the only time I'm "me" is when I'm alone and there's no one else around to mirror.
That's a terrible idea, I love my extroverted community even if I'm the only different one. Without them it would be depressing since introverted kind don't care about each other.
@@dripvader69 I wouldn't say introverts don't care about each other...it could seem that way with a bunch of introverts together because we are too busy bottling everything up instead of opening up to each other and giving other introverts a reason to care
I can relate to the pessimism aspect the most. I feel like extroverts see things as a chance to succeed whereas introverts tend to see it a chance to fail or embarass themselves.
My school has a school council, where some kids go to meetings and talk to teachers about some things. I ran for it and unlike 3 years ago, the last time we did this I was alot more confident. Anyone who has felt the same, good job! If you still think you will embarrass yourself, I feel for you. Good luck, and we all are rooting for you.
After everything I've seen and experienced in my nearly 60 years, I've come to one conclusion; I am done trying to fit in to a world that never wanted to fit me in.
Extroverts will take up as much "space" in the room as they are permitted, and introverts don't want to fight for space. I don't think it's an intentional "pushing out", but that anyone who wants to be "in" needs to carve space there. For extroverts that just happens naturally, so there isn't any perceived conflict. If you decide there's nothing "there" that is worth struggling for, it becomes very peaceful on the outside.
@thelasttimeitried we introverts care for things that are of metaphysical nature. I don't care for status, wealth , or recognition. But i cared when I overcame guilt, fixed procrastination, and learned the art of dialog. The space that I carve is internal
1. Yup. Teamwork sucks. 2. Sometimes I overthink, but not often. 3. I can be my worst critic, but that helps me improve. 4. You got me. I bottle up too much. 5. I like to think of myself as a realist. 6. Nope. I don't do that much. 7. You got me. I isolate way too much.
im an introvert with social anxiety, depression, and imposter syndrome. this honestly helped me really realize that what i do, isnt necessarily bad and i shouldnt be so hard on myself. thank you
@@mrstein4170 in a way it’s that you feel like you never fit in anywhere, so you always have to make a new personality for every situation you’re in. so for example, when at home i have to be someone that i’m not around my family, and when i’m at work i have to be someone i’m not so my family doesn’t find out the real me. i literally feel like an “imposter” wherever i am, and in everything i do. being so that i don’t even know who i am anymore. and yea i have been diagnosed with it by my therapist so it’s not like a self diagnosis or anything. edit/add: aka, you feel like a fraud and fully doubt yourself in anything you do
"Overthinking" that is *definitely* a true thing about me, because I tend to say things that I don't necessarily mean. And if I accidentally say something mean, I can't go a full day without feeling nervous about it and I do say my apologies after but I also keep thinking whether that person really believed I was sorry or not and just knowing that there is a 50/50 chance that they might not have accepted my apology can really get me on edge...as I'm writing this, I'm starting to think it is more than just overthinking for me-
ya me too tbh i still think and regret over stuff that i wasnt able to apoligize for and its hardto forget them as when i am doing nothing i just think of these
Better this than overthinking the thing you want to say, which leads to a stutter so damn horrible for me that it's just embarassing, like I can't speak.
I'm an introvert with ALL of these traits,I find nothing wrong with them,them make me stronger,people fear what they don't understand so they call it dark as if to label it as evil and undesirable.
Dark was not meant evil or undesirable, just harder to handle for some. I have all these traits and have spent nearly 40 years trying to understand them. Nothing wrong with them, just they are usually harder to manage, deal with, process…
As an introvert this is very accurate and relatable. However for myself the main reason for not wanting to work as a team is not that i think i can do better than others, but because of feeling uncomfortable due to the pressure of having more responsibility towards the group, afraid to be a burden on others and having the possibility to be blamed on if you didn't finish the tasks very well. These thaughts are most probably the result of lacking self confidence and negative overthinking.
It's the same for me, except for a few projects where I was either doing all the work myself (so I attempted to get this sorted with my group and eventually had to speak to a lecturer/supervisor), or nobody was doing much or any work (I think it was a case of nobody wanted to come across as bossy and so we never had a plan or delegation of tasks). Those were the only times that fear of my own abilities and contributions wasn't the thing holding me back in group projects
It's same for me...and more so when I don't understand what to do ? And what is expected off me from others?? And I cheer up and mingle when I clear my mind of those questions...
Soo me omw I get soo anxious especially exams I feel physically ill, my stomach starts to cramp and feel like I I'm about to have diahrea 😢 Is there any pill I can take before an exam to help with nerves because sometimes I really be wanting to use the loo but I can't coz I'm in public 😭😭
#8 taking pleasure in keeping people at arms length and not opening up and giving people a chance to know me. Before going to a social event i give myself a pep talk. I remind myself to not open up and dont make any connections. Dont let people in.
I'm guilty of all of these traits. ESPECIALLY the cutting off contact one... I left my friends without any explanations. I know I have to at least check up on them but I really don't feel the need to; I don't know if it's laziness but everytime I "say" I'm going to do it I don't. I really enjoy being by myself but I also fall in a deep rabbit hole of loneliness. It was my choice to stop speaking to them and I will admit that I feel better this way . Though another part of me wants at least someone I can call a "friend" yet I don't know how to keep them. I really do not know what I want. Anyways bye .
Same i miss my family and i wont even call i enjoy hanging out every now and then but no one understands and i cant explain it . I be in my own world its better that way for me ! Ughh 😕
As an introvert myself, I can say that much of this is true. But many people misunderstand us. We're not insensitive or indifferent or uncaring or uncooperative, we just function differently and don't always know how to convey our thoughts and emotions or know how to express ourselves. Bottles emotions are one of our biggest problems, because we don't really know how to let them out, which is why we come across as indifferent, or when our emotions finally reach a capping point and come out, they seem extreme, because it's everything coming out at once. And yes, we're very empathetic towards others and can at times feels what they're feeling, which can be overwhelming for us, especially since we're already struggling with our own emotions. We may not sow it, but there's a LOT going on beneath the surface.
Yes true. Bottling emotions is the worst things... I used to be a normal person when I was kid...But because of the bottling emotions, nowadays I don't feel any emotions towards my parents (as if I am done with them, and only care about myself now). And worst thing is I am unable to make myself like before now >.
the worst thing is when you accept that you have to work in a group and the group says something like ,,ewww i dont want her in my group im not gonna work with her” and i ask teacher if i can work alone and the teacher says you can join to other group and YOU HAVE TO PICK THE GROUP and you look at everyone and all you see on their faces is like ,,pls dont go to out group” and then someone says ,,fine work with us🙄” but they sound so bothered by the fact that you will work ith them but they dont want to make you sad so they allow you to join the group.
Conflict is inevitable in this world. Being an introvert volunteered into managing a team. Conflict comss quite readily. But open discussion and debating and not arguing points of view and personal preference for credit of effort and glory. It tends to keep the team running smooth. Just trying to solve the issue and not worrying about the cause.
This is one of my favorite comment sections, seeing so many people who I can relate to makes this feel like I’m walking in a room of long lost relatives.
Exactly, like I can't respond to them all, but I want to have conversations with everyone about their introversion... It's nice to find a group of people I can finally relate to for a change of pace.
Same here ,, after finishing the video I always come here and get myself little consoled that I'm not really alone. Seeing everyone talking about themselves out feels good.
Although I'm introverted, complete strangers will tell me their life story. As an empath I have to avoid negative people's energy so I don't absorb. I sense more people are negative than positive. Misery loves company. I'm not jumping off the bridge with everyone else and people don't like that.
I'm glad that I'm not the only person. So many strangers talk to me about their problems and this makes me so confused. A homeless man once told me his story involving beating the man who was responsible for a very dark situation. I just didn't know what to do.
Empathy turned me into an introvert. I cared too much for people. Cared too much about the future of our world. I found humanity to be tragic. I found the way we all live to be pathetic. And as such, I crumbled into dust. Burnt into ash. Was reborn once again, crumbled, then burned once more. They all left me, the people I loved. They all did stupid stuff, how blind they were. They all thought of me as being weird, they weren't really wrong. And so, as the strings suspending my fragile heart snapped one by one, it fell and shattered into a bajillion pieces. It then forged into an abyssal mass of energy. Still, though, suspended by two strings. Years passed, the energy grew. Then one staring snapped. I realized then. Whilst looking at that final string. I realized then what I had to do. I had to cut it. To burn it. Then I was free. Free to be a ghost that nobody noticed. Free to vanish into the Backpages of existence. I blend in now. Granted, I'm not like them. I can't have sex with whoever looks good, I hate myself far too much. I can't think of people as friends, I hate the way I am far too much. And I can't... Forget it. I've lost my train of thought.
I am an introvert, it has been proven by my family and friends. In this video, I am all traits except for the last one... And like you said in the video with introverts losing themselves, that really hit home for me. This video helped explain why many things happened in my life. Like me being happy in the present then upset because I remembered something from long ago, but thank you verry much.
The reason I personally don’t like working in a group is because I feel like I can’t suggest any of my ideas. I’m pretty sure I suffer from some sort of social anxiety (never been diagnosed just a suspicion,) so that definitely has something to do with why I hate talking to people I don’t know so much that I just keep all my group project ideas to myself. I always end up thinking “If only I were doing this by myself. It’d be so much easier and I just try out my ideas without having to run it by 4 different people and have them all look at me like I’m a crazy person and then turn me down.” So... maybe it’s not just because I’m an introvert. I just overthink ;-;
same i feel like my ideas wont be as good as theirs and i dont want them to think im weird or boring if they got to know me so thats also why i sometimes end up distancing from my friends every other month or so and i feel bad cause they get mad at me for it but i just cant tell them anything ab me idk why ( ik u didnt ask but i just wanted to rant anonymously)
I separated myself from people because I always tried my best to understand others but they never bothered to understand me. It hurts so much. I even went into depression because of it. I suffer from all the things here. Honestly speaking, isolation seemed like the most logical solution at this point in my life
Totally understand. I 'ghosted', if you can call it that, basically for self preservation. It seems as if I was the one who always had 'to understand/be understanding' of others situations but I wasn't given same courtesy. I remembered and either called, sent cards, texts...for birthdays and significant milestones but mine seemed to be an afterthought. Friends shouldn't have to be told to reciprocate especially when they do it for other friends. I was becoming resentful and concluded that I must not have been as close as I thought so figured it was best to cut ties. 😔💔
I only have one friend, and whenever we hangout i prefer her to do the talking, she can talk whatever topic she want and im be glad to just listen, and sit there. I dont know why, rather than do the talk myself, i just feel happy listening.
@@rachel_lalaa yes im blessed. Cus im not the friend who text other first, and i can go months or years, with contact but luckily she seems to understand and always the one who checked on me. 😊 my other friends think i ghosted them or forget them, unfriend them, when actually i feel like i disturb them if i texted them first thats how we lost contact and i only left with one who understand my situation.
@Rayy you are not alone. I find it very difficult to first let people in, then to stay connected to them. I always feel like I am bothering or interrupting someone else's life, even if it is just a text. Let alone a phone call. Odd as it is, I am content to just let be. I am ok with not having contact. I am ok with the hand full of people who are close to me and I don't feel like I am lacking because these other people are not close to me. I don't feel a sadness for a loss of contact. I may feel a bit of a wish that it was different but that is very momentary.
I believe it was one year ago that I realized that I´m more of an introvert and a thing I recently started to do was to write down things when I was overthinking them. Now whenever I have something on my mind I write it down, describing what it is what bothers me, how I feel and how I could change it with or without help of others. It really helps to calm me down and focus on other stuff.
being an empath. able to tell if someone is lying just as a gut feeling. every so often i literaly dont speak for entire days to literaly anyone including my own family. i just dont feel like interacting with anyone. i can easily tell if someone is a good person or if i should keep my guard up
Same. Everyone says, "don't judge a book by its cover" but to this day, I have never gotten the wrong first impression of anyone. From picking the right friends because they looked nicer than everyone else in the room, to being wary of the uncle who low key likes to bully people weaker than him, but no one else seems to notice but me. I have always been able to know if someone would be a good relationship in my life or not. (Whether I choose to follow my gut in such matters is another story entirely...)
That testing gut feeling that someone is less than nice or trustworthy I get it all the time, that’s why I stay away from ppl, I don’t feel like finding out if I was right
I'm reading comments here from some who think being an introvert equates to loneliness or sadness. However, that is not the key traits because those emotions are shared equally by introverts and extroverts. You are a true introvert if your battery is depleted by socializing. Good friends drain your battery very slowly, but with some people it can be drained within an hour. Extroverts actually charge their battery by being around people. Introversion, extroversion is a measure of your temperament, not an indicator of emotions.
thank you for pointing this out to people because introversion and extroversion certainly aren't mental health issues like some seem to be implying with their words. unintended or not. there's so much more to each aspect of these kinds of people than just emotions
This is ridiculously accurate, I am guilty of all these traits. I try really hard to not be an introvert bc I'm missing out on so much but I have really bad anxiety and being an introvert is a sort of cushion for it.
i am guilty as well, being an introvert has its high points like being alone is better than being around people but when you miss out on so many things, i just hate that
As an introvert I'm improving only on the things I'm interested in. I love history, and I can remember a lot of things from history lesson. But in the same time I hate Maths, and I can't understand it.
If you're an introvert, you're automatically losing at life because the world just doesn't understand your need for alone time and your need to think things through before you speak. Everything in life is set in the fast lane and it's just aggravating having to keep up that blistering pace.
That's a pretty pessimistic way of looking at things which adds to Amanda's point of introverts being more prone to pessimism then extroverts lol I mean I would agree to some point that people need to be more understanding of the fact that I don't need to be around other humans 24/7 in order to have a fulling life, when that's far from the case. But that doesn't mean I'm inheritly a "loser". It just means I'm me and there's nothing wrong with that
@@eranazeitler203 ghosting is not leaving. You can leave someone and explain why without ghosting them. Respecting that person on the way out. Ghosting means suddenly vanishing with no explanation. The whole ghosting thing just means everybody looses. No closure. Ghosting is the weak way out.
@@jonathanbowen3640 No arguments there... And telling someone exactly what you think of them BEFORE never speaking to them again is a very satisfying experience also. But since the original poster didn't go into details about how/why he "ghosted" there may be more to it than random internet ppl should judge.
I checked every box many times in my life. Not only are these traits getting more pronounced in my life, but I have begun to embrace them. I’m tired of putting on a face for others.
2.Overthinking I actually like this trait cuz whenever i start thinking, i start talking to myself and to be honest its really nice to talk to myself and it's helps when i feel stressed or scared or maybe nervous, i just talk to my subconscious's and they make me feel better and more relaxed and so they are my best friends!
"No answer is also an answer". The thing about introverts Ghosting people, it's just that those people don't understand even after dropping hints, or sometimes even after a conversation about things that make the introverts to ghost them. They just don't get it. so instead of wasting energy on repeating the same thing, ghosting seems like a better option.
@sabage cabage123 I have noticed they seem idiotic. I have always been a realist. A lot of people take this as being pessimistic. I just think I am more grounded.
@sabage cabage123 you’re calling people dumb based on how they communicate and you confused our/are multiple times and their/there/they’re. The irony is painful.
I relate hard to the cutting off contact one.. even if we’re somewhat “close”. I simply just lose interest and ghost forever. I feel guilty too.. yet I feel way better not speaking to them, without any explanation. That only results if I don’t want to be bothered anymore, one-sided, I outgrew them, or I just don’t care about what they’re up to. Especially if that person is draining, have pointless interactions or repeating the same stuff. They could even be a good person but it's always me who feels disconnected or can't relate with their interests/problems/mindset.. I just can’t keep up with people unless I feel super strongly towards them, which is honestly very rare for me. I really enjoy being alone but at the same time I do want someone I can deeply and truly connect with as a “friend”, (instead of superficial people) because it does get utterly lonely. Hopefully that makes sense.
This is me too. So i read a lot of people here experiencing this is i am not alone or abnormal person. 😂 I feel bad for them but the moment i stay away from them i dont regret it tho. I just remember them sometimes but dont want to be with them anymore. I ghosted my highschool bestfriend. I ignored my friends from my old work. If someones got too attached to me, i stopped talking to them. Most of the times, i hate myself. I dont know if this is still an introvert thing or theres something wrong with the way i think and interact with people☹️
The bottling up part. Is like tanking all damage until you save up for your super move. Except. Instead of winning. It hurts everyone. Including yourself.
I am introverted person, don't actually like to contact with a lot of people, but if it's team work I just let them take the charge so I'm aside. However, sometimes I can tell them what would be better in my opinion. I also do not bottle my emotions. I am kind of sentimental, and if person really matters to me, then it would be better if we talk about feelings( I guess, it's just because I am not scared to open up, because of the small amount of attention I get)
im the same. i even enjoy teamwork with really close friends. but if im with random team members and they don t know how to do things and i need to do everything then i prefer doing it solo cuz i dont like people watching me and they always get in my way
being an introvert always had people misinterpreting our character, which is why it's so easy for introverts to lose friends. it is so hard to fit in to the crowd when little interaction already made you overwhelmed and anxious.
One of my best friend and I are introverts out of our group of friends so sometimes we tend to do our own things but it's always cool whenever we all get together.
One thing not mentioned, dealing with trauma as an introvert is difficult. Particularly when some of that trauma has made it impossible to trust anyone.
I deal with every single one of those traits. I wasn't like this when I was younger, but a lifetime of being treated like crap by people I trusted made me adjust to protect myself. Now, I've been alone for so long, I'm not even sure I'd be able to do any different. Sure, I get lonely...a lot. Holidays are extremely difficult, without a doubt. But, I think about all the garbage that's always come from my relationships, and I just deal with the loneliness.
Just because it didnt work in the past doesnt mean it can't now, i encourage you to try things out once again and stop thinking of yourself as an introvert, sometimes the mind just wants us to believe certain stories of ourselves but if it's not what you want you shouldn't allow that, and if your situation is just as you described it than there's nothing to lose, go ahead man and try being the person you want to be, and if it doesn't work than try again, after all there's only one life
Same way, Kevin. I'm in my 30's and just can't trust people anymore. We care and reach out to them, and they don't appreciate it at all. Take care of yourself bro. You're probably a really good guy.
I nearly got expelled from high school because someone said to me "bring it" and I said "no, I'll just show you a picture" and several students panicked. I ultimately won the case and got to complete my senior year of high school.
One time in English we had to go up to someone and tell at them in Shakespearean and wait for a reply when it got to my turn I let out all my bottles emotions which led to the person I yelled at to mutter a reply with everyone else being shocked and nobody bothered me for a week, best week ever. My friends 5 years later are still shocked about it
I was always shy in school and still is shy in school. People would think I was scared to talk due to being judged which wasn't the case I was just always shy af in school.
@@Ur14N It shouldn't be difficult to say something to even a stranger while waiting in line but social phobia is a real thing. Some people don't want to be bothered with people.
I’ve been accused of overthinking because a person told me ‘I want to do a will before I travel in case I die ‘ (they were going to America) and I was like ‘here are five or six things you might want to include’. Sometimes people would rather accuse you of overthinking than admit that they didn’t think at all.
Comment below if you're an introvert or extrovert or in between. Let's see how many of us there are ;)
Definitely introvert, but I'm pretty expressive online heh
I love youu:))
I'm an introvert :')
Introvert lololol
Introvert :,)
"No one really know me. I don't even know myself."
This is what I always think about.
99 names of God
Same same. Like until now at my age, I still struggle knowing myself. Even though, I know I'm still happy with how I am now.
same
same, I thought I'm the only one who think this way
Same 😔
Best part about being in the introvert club:
There is no club
Also: we never have any meetings
Yep. Best and worst.
Or the onlyone in the club. Lol
Let's make plans to not bother each other.
We introverts should make a club
Online
Only in text
With food
To be so understanding and never understood hits different..
It's one of the most painful things we introverts go through on a daily basis.
@@jdjzr9343
True so very painfully true
in pained twerking
Hmph
Exactly... It's the biggest struggle for introverts... :(
I shared this with my wife when i found it. I tried to explain things in my head but i feared she didnt understood so by sharing this it helped her understand. After she watched it she came in and sat on my lap and hugged me tight telling me how much she loved me. She is an extrovert and she has helped me feel more comfortable interacting with other people. She is an amazing woman.
I wish I could find a make copy of this kind of person! She sounds so nice!
She's amazing ❤ I'm glad you found her 😌
Lucky
I’ve learned that keeping silent and distancing myself is better than my words being misconstrued.
i agree.... that always happens to me so i just keep silent
Yes!!! Agreed. We're instant, natural targets of this. I just bow out from the world, while backing behind the curtain, and exit through the back door into my peaceful, quiet home and just live in my little world - it's an energy saver!!!
same
I agree whole heartedly
That's not enough though, you get singled out for being quiet.
As an introvert, I enjoy just saying "yeah" and "oh" in phone calls. What about you?
Oh, yeah. Hmmm.
Yeah. Which is part of the reason I don't like phone calls. I never know what to say and it's hard to maintain the conversation.
Yass!!!! People misunderstand us that we are bored with their convo 😑
Ok...
yeah
7 Dark Traits of Introverts
1. Bad attitude towards teamwork
2. Overthinking
3. Self-Depreciation
4. Bottling up emotions
5. Pessimism
6. Lost of identity
7. Cutting off contact
Thnx for the likes :)
Especially from Psych2go
Exactly like me ! Two days before I ended all relationships with my friends
There are different types of introverts not all introverts has self-Depreciation, and if about overthinking 😏😁 and not all introverts doesn't cuts off relationship or cuts off contacts, the thing is that they are not good with communication so sometimes people try to avoid them and this way they comes out lonely introverts.
And about mix of emotions not all Introverts are same if you get to know a introverts closely then some introverts comes pretty enjoyable, some of them are they are pretty enjoyable than you think, the thing is that they are not good social communication skills.
I am an introvert but do not relate at all to these dark traits. Except maybe #7. But not on purpose. I just start isolating and rather keep to myself more than hang out with people.
Wait a minute
I was bottling up my emotions in relationship with my gf. Such a bad idea. Didn't end well
As an introvert I must shamelessly say that I can apply myself to every single example. I used to be like that.
The good thing is I made some progress and stopped bottling myself from people close to me and started noticing my own value.
Sending power to all introverts that has to deal with any of this traits. Stay strong, folks. 💪🏻
I used to bottle things up but I stopped doing that as I aged. Now I don't care what someone thinks, if I don't like something then they are definitely going to know about it.
same, i figured out that anxiety stems from an overactive imagination of potential social situations, now i think of people as NPC's that only interacts if you start a conversation, i gave my anxiety a proverbial shot in the back of the head
You’re saying this as if its wrong to be an introvert
That's awesome to hear. Much love to you❤❤❤
For me family is the most difficult and which hits so bad.
Signs You Might Be an Introvert:
Need quiet to concentrate.
Are reflective.
Are self-aware.
Take time making decisions.
Feel comfortable being alone.
Don't like group work.
Prefer to write rather than talk.
So ME
You understand me so much
I'm probably an ambivert, maybe leaning a little towards being introverted
It's tiresome to talk .
@@luvxs_ wOw sHeS hOt
Everyone agrees that her voice acts as a stress reliever
YESS HER VOICE IS SO CALMING
Indeed.
It certainly does!!! She really deserves credits
I mean who doesn't..
YES
0:59 Introduction
1:00 BAD ATTITUDE TOWARDS TEAMWORK
1:32 OVERTHINKING
2:15 SELF-DEPRECATION
2:47 BOTTLING UP EMOTIONS
3:25 PESSIMISM
4:03 LOST OF IDENTITY
4:37 CUTTING OFF CONTACT
5:21 CREDITS
Thanks
@@thearthhh np
This is socially discriminating as hell. Not a true scientific video.
@@MoonlightDusk ok then 💀
@@Sheer37111 I am not going to elaborate why I say what I say. Your skull comment implies I miss the point and will follow a grave mistake. But simply put, I doubt you will ever find a video that talks about the dark side of extroverts as much as it does here, and perhaps you will get the hint of that.
The worst thing about being an introvert is people ask this really irritating question as to 'why am I silent'. 'why don't you speak?'
I Know A Comeback For That
Just Say: Oh I Talk, Just NOt To You, I Just Dont Wanna Waste My Time.
That's not a response I get very often. Other introverts understand that you don't need to fill a long pause with chatter. In conversation with extroverts, I am aware that I have maybe a two second break to communicate an idea before being interrupted.
I can totally relate to this!
I wish I at least got that. With me people usually just give up and walk away after a few seconds. It's like if I don't talk, then I just stop existing in their eyes
U don't sound like silent person or introvert, u sound like extrovert. Introvert doesn't care sharing anything even in a comment.
The only reason I "ghost" people is because they never contact me first. It's always me who contacts them to keep the friendship going, so I give up and let them be. I have only like, one friend who ever DMs me. I don't generally go around making friends anyways and have always preferred having a small friend group anyways. The only other time a friend DMed me was for help on his geometry homework.
So similar 😭
I can relate
Brooo same stuff
Same here too....it's something that I was really bothered about and kept thinking that it's my fault...I tried texting them again but they don't really text first...so these days I also stay silent
I literally have the same problem. I have a friend that moved to another state a year ago. Since then we write everyday, but I dont really have friends here. It just makes someone feel extremely unimportant and lonely if that person has to always keep up the work to have contact. And I dont spam them, I usually write them twice a week. Its just quite tiring to be forgotten that easily. But it all also brings some peace with it, like having no meetups in stressing sorroundings or public places xD You can be happy with yourself but its nice to know that you have someone to go out with and just have a bit of cmpany. I hope this made sense '^^
It sucks when you want to watch things like this just to feel that someone understands you.
Sad but true😥
This hits hard.
Yes... :, (
This hit different
agreed , well at least we got each other , i feel ya brothers and sisters
I’m an introvert and yes to all of these. And I have lost friends because they felt I didn’t reach out enough for them. Each time I was completely bewildered by this. I thought the amount of contact we had was fine. I’ve stopped even trying any more. I have my hubby and daughter and sister. That’s plenty for me.
I get you, yes to all of these too, since childhood I never really had a close friend, even if I did, they left anyway. I also stopped trying to look for friends, I don't really care anymore, but I guess in a way that's good, because we might find the right people.
I felt my " friends" didn't reach out enough for me so i didn't try to keep contact with them. Although‚ i don't dislike them and i would answer if they tried to contact me.
@@serialp2895 I feel exactly like that wow
At least you have them but me am still young and my mom is now dead
@@serialp2895 Right? We'd know how to reach out to people if they ever did it to us.
The no.6 "lost of identity" hit's my soul hard.
Introverts fact: some of the introverts sometimes pretend to be a different person to fit in the surrounding people and environment. That's where they tend to loose and forgot who they are and how they usually act.
In my case. I think I have pretended to much that I forgot how I act in the past
I'm having a real fuckin' hard time with that one. Sober for 7mos, drunk for 15 years. Don't really remember what made me be before. Only a couple friends that still have my back, so that's nice at least.
@@tnmoe- I know it's hard but don't give up because there will be that "one day" that you'll be so glad and proud that you didn't give up.
Hope this helps
@@enderhunt227 - Word, thanks dude, your encouraging words are appreciated.
I typed that out rather quickly, but I was/still am an introvert to many faults; the drink was just liquid courage.
Take care, and thanks again.
@@tnmoe- no problem and take care as well
@ender Hunt your comment is so relatable
Introverts are introverts even when hating, we literally direct all the bad feelings to ourselves, and even when is a bad feeling directed to someone else, it just stay inside ourselves making us mental ill
In a extroverted world people just don’t understand us like we are not human, I’m often pessimistic and realistic about everything so much so I do it by accident so i distance my self from my friends and i get lonely so I tell my self I’m worthless and honestly I just wanna lie in my bed and cry but it’s impossible with Being judged for crying “ no reason” and my dad being a b**** will take what makes me happy which over quarantine I have lost a lot of...
girl i’m telling you, i have it too. what i did was i write my heart out in my phone. sometimes, i put a lock on them for extra protection. lol.
i hated on someone till i reached my limit. (probably cause it kindof triggered my anxiety as well) i broke out into tears, my jaw feels numb my throat feels like there’s something disturbing. so i rant my emotions in my notes in my phone and it did calmed me a bit.
but when i reread all my writing again, it kind of make me feel bitter. cause i just couldn’t open up to literally anyone.
Yeaaahhhhhhhhsss
@@rxdisabigboy6446, You need help seriously. You are what you said and of course, it appears that it's extreme and intense that can affect the mental, emotional psyche. I've been through this. I was hurting myself doing these things. I was selfish to wallow in self-pity. It took a 5th trip to the psychiatrist ward to understand completely the situation I was diagnosed with BiPolar. I take meds that a big plus. The moods I and emotions are pretty much stabilized. Here the meds I take Lamotrigine. Buspirone. and Quentinline. I pray you to seek help from mental health providers. I promise you will see a big difference and it's all for the best!
@@iamyu I know its hard for introverts to show their emotions in front of others or to tell them when something is wrong but i know one thing, keeping all your bad emotions for yourself will destroy you for sure. You have to lash out your anger before it consumes you, that can be in many ways, the extreme one being taking vengeance. Idk what this person did to you but dont let it slide
As an introvert, it’s not that I despise teamwork. I just need the confirmation that each role in the team is understood. What I really despise are people who do the absolute minimum and coast along on other people’s work and effort, with little to no contribution.
Precisely
Truth be told The second I hear "group work", my excitement towards that research or project, it filters and decrease, a little to lot sometimes
Exactly, the work it takes to get everyone to buy in , or accept the roles they have be assigned, always seems underwhelming, so we might as well do it ourselves, and that’s when the one that coasted along and did the least gets praised and will happily take the credit of our hard work or participation , cause everyone seems to always be breaking the chain of commands , assuming and bypassing these foundational processes, that usually ends up in some sort of chaotic disorganization , IMO , but I hope to be proved wrong 😑
You know, I find that it benefits me a lot more when I call out such people. Yes they will attack you for calling them out, but you'll actually respect yourself a lot more for it.
It's a little different with me. I don't despise teamwork either. If anything I can see the benefits of great teamwork. It's just that i'd rather be able to do everything on my own. The idea that i need others bugs me to say the least... It's a trust thingy.
Years ago I took a bunch of psychological tests, and on one, I was told I was "off the charts" on the introversion scale. When they explained that an introvert was someone who needs time alone to gather the energy to be around other people, I felt like I finally understood myself. That knowledge gave me a lot of insight into myself and helped me to navigate the world. I'm very comfortable with being who I am now.
There is no such thing as off the charts introversion. A normal test has a scale of 0 to 100. I'm a 95. Also, I have my own simple introversion test: How many days out of 100 would you like to spend alone? Probably not all of them.
@@Gaze73 At the time I got the results, my doctor used that figure of speech and told me that I was "kind of off the charts" in two areas. I realize(d) that my scores did not go beyond the unit of measure set up for the tests, but that I had scored particularly high in two areas. And during the pandemic I went for months at a time without talking to anyone in person and felt none the worse for it.
I only discovered that I was an I introvert in my college days and throughput my life until that point I thought it was just me in the whole world who was like this
@@Gaze73: "How many days out of 100 would you like to spend alone? Probably not all of them."
Me: "What makes you so sure of that???"
@@agentorange153 If it's 100 out of 100 that means you don't want to see anyone ever, including your family. In that case, seek help.
i’m an introvert
the part which said that we tend to cut off contact hit me hard
i have lost many friends because they thought i didn’t like talking to them or something
i’ve gone months on end without communicating to people and i don’t talk to them anymore which makes me sad, but when i DO talk to people, i get exhausted and can’t seem to tell them that i am tired and will talk to them later
i feel guilty about it
and i don’t know if this is a thing only introverts do (probably not) but i have always shown myself as a person who makes other people want to be comfortable around me, people usually come to me for advice or just to share their feelings, i want to do that too but i feel like i’m too much of a burden on them and that makes me bottle up everything, i really want to open up but i’m scared to.
Helloooo
[Also the following content is kind of annoying so yeah]
Thank you for sharing a side of your story I can relate to :')
I also tend to cut off contact with my friends and now aquaintances (I'm sure I wrote that word incorrectly).
I do feel bad when I don't update to my friends after weeks or months. Most of the time, when i do, I go all in, like a single evening is what it takes... then I feel that I did it... and that's it. I don't feel the need to talk to them anymore as I really went out already, trying to be as bubbly as possible but also with a hint of my real personality. It feels wrong to do so but I can't stop that cycle.
I once shared to my cousin that I don't enjoy the texts I'm sharing with a new friend. I'll just say T, my friend, appeared to be into me and wanted to get to know me. I also found T interesting.
I was having a good time the first days, T texted me every day... literally... and that became upsetting and unbearable to me. I didn't enjoy our conversations as much as before, it all seemed rushed as hell and I didn't see myself keeping up.
My cousin told me to just tell T the truth because why not just clarify instead of ghosting. And I did. I told T that I needed time, days, until we could talk again.
I knew T was weirded out about my request and now we barely keep contact and I don't want to change things for now.
Yeah... long comment but I needed to get it all out. I feel bad about it but I don't let myself linger on it, as I have a lot of distractions. If I don't, I overthink a lot. Voila~
hey! we both over think a lot haha
i totally agree with you, honestly i try not to let it affect me too much but my overthinking has become worse haha (+trust issues, it makes everything complicated :’D)
there’s this one friend i have who i have told what i feel inside and i haven’t ever told anyone else, but now they talk to me everyday and they also take me as their most best friend, i want to tell them that i don’t talk to people everyday since it’s physically exhausting for me but i don’t want to come off as annoyed or pissed, i can’t do anything about it so i keep making excuses, i understand exactly how you feel and i’m happy you told T how you feel about the conversation y’all were having :D!
and no you are not annoying, i assure you :)
@@evirji7844 Well woah
I had a friend who wanted to be my best friend and wanted to hang out outside of middle school (it's been like 6 years now). And I didn't react well :') I thought "oh... you want us to go outside? Like outside to hang out?" I was surprised and maybe that person misunderstood the situation... it's not that I didn't want to hang out but was surprised by the possibility of hanging out outside of classes (weird yeah).
That person came with good intentions but gradually became toxic (I only noticed it after we parted ways... officially because they messaged me they just wanted to be friends now... yeah I had to recover afterwards), and since that I somehow absorbed that person's feelings, I lost myself in problems I wasn't even concerned with, made a lot of bad and sad decisions :'/ clearly the worst and the most confusing years of my life.
Aaaand I'm ranting again woooah :'D I gotta go because I might expose my miserable life here :))))
Also thank you ♡
English spelling is hard :/
@@musicislife2310 I feel you :o it's so hard to explain when we have to
@@steffirmts3056
hey, it’s okay to rant haha, i hope speaking about it made you feel better :)
For those who feel guilty about ghosting people, remember communication is a two-way street. If they aren't trying to contact you either, then they aren't making an effort either. If you want to reconnect with them though, just send them a message and they may respond. Someone just needs to make the first move.
Thank you! You will notice who makes an effort when you stop being the one always making it.
Yeah.... most of the time it's always ME making that move and then having them flake or leave you on read.
Yeah... Although if the other person isn't even trying to have communication I would'nt consider that as "ghosting".
@@Charcosombrio_22 I know. I posted that for people who think they've ghosted somebody when that isn't the case since that somebody isn't contacting them either. I used to feel that way about some people.
True :)
I usually do not mind some quietness, for me friends are still friends even when we do not talk every day (I guess that works for most of us).
But others see this as a reason to regard the friendship as "ended". Which seem kind of childish to me.
It's not forbidden to ask anyone "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while, what's up?"
Introverts are not broken. We do not need to be fixed. Learning techniques or tricks to help you through certain situations can be helpful. Remember, though, that you are not fixing yourself, you’re adapting to difficult situations.
I just wanna say thank you for this :))) that was a nice boost
@@steffirmts3056 Have you read Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”? I think it should be required reading for the world’s extroverts who keep trying to fix us (especially supervisors). 🤔🙂
@@karendinkins2469 absolutly not :o never heard of it ! Thanks for the recommandation :p it sure sounds interesting
I can see where your coming but id have to disagree. Atleast until I find some evidence that you can never really live without a flaw which is unlikely. Either way fixing seems like a better description to me than adapting, however adapting makes it feel less harsh 😂
Thank you 😊 that makes things seem less depressing.
The following bit about teamwork had me laughing out loud: "It can produce greater results if the teammates are compatible and communicate in a healthy way."
This only happens in the rarest of cases, if ever. Welcome to the real world of work, where teamwork in most cases is a drag and there will always people that take advantage of the team, leaving those that actually want to get the work done, with more work. Oh, and let's not forget the arguers and naysayers.
So, yes, I believe, 90% of the time I CAN do better when I'm working alone. ;)
It varies, in a smaller team where you all get along well it can actually be fun, this is the one thing on the list that I don't have a problem with myself, but maybe the only thing on the list.
True -- I actually built a small-scale chemical plant almost all by myself, and the ONLY difficulties I had was on the rare occasions when I had to get parts from contractors (they could NEVER do ANYTHING right the first time, on one occasion I actually had to threaten one with criminal prosecution because they supplied me a fitting with insufficient pressure rating, which would have burst under pressure and possibly killed someone if I had installed it)!
You know, the strangest thing about being an introvert is being so comfortable being alone. It has its uses sure but it makes it very difficult to get out there and meet someone. Especially in this incredibly socially isolated time we live in.
the belief that introverts like being alone is a myth. they like reduced stimulation because they do everything more deeply. has nothing to do with being alone or not
Wow. I can almost cry of joy after hearing those balmic, healing words that click just right.
Everyone has social media start there
Also begin comfortable alone and feel lonely without people around you but still don't wants to meet people
Yes I relate :((...Actually I hate being an introvert because of that... So many interesting ppl around me I would like to talk to but I can't.... even if I talk to someone I try hard to pretend I am not introvert. I can totally relate to the "lost of identity"
MOST OF THE TIMES THE DARK SIDES BOTHERS THE INTROVERT HIMSELF/HERSELF
This is me soo much
@@Ari-hl9sr yea,me tooo
Or herself
Or theirs elf
Idfk
False. Dark side of introverts bothers people who are hypervigilant.
@@charlie-yp2oq what i was gonna say
The reality is, a lot of us introverts became introverts through circumstances in our lives, we are in a way, cursed with knowing that we can't relate to the majority. This leads to a lot of us shutting down, and avoiding people because we can't find anyone that's "like us." I was pretty extroverted in the past during my younger ages. But as trauma has popped up time and time again I have spiraled into being a complete introvert. We are very analytical of our surroundings, and can mimic emotional auras around us. However, that isn't truly who we are, a lot of us are often very sad, low people. We know the truth of how the world truly is, and we simply can't adopt that happy go lucky persona because we know that life itself, is rarely a happy thing. For a lot of us who have lost people in our lives to death or even abandonment, we quickly judge those around us. Often comparing ourselves to others. One of the biggest things as an introvert that I deal with is always feeling like a burden to those around me. And it's difficult for me to fit in with society, because I simply can't relate to the masses.
please dont make this a "introvert things" kinda thing, i was like this for a long time and put the label "introvert" on myself,
youre not sad because youre an introvert you're sad because you have unresolved trauma that you stuck the label "introvert" over it.
all introvert means is that being around other people takes away your energy instead of gives you energy.
it doesnt mean youre a lone wolf and analyitical because you have the tendancy to isolate yourself and cut people off in your life
no one knows how the world truely works but people with depression that see no hope in life think they do and get stuck in this cycle of believing the worst and feeling the world.
i'm literally exactly like this and i just called myself an introvert bc of it but these are symptoms of mental health issues,
i would isolate myself, i felt tired all the time, i self depricate, i feel like a burden to everyone even my friends and i cut people off all the time, esspeically as a kid i didnt have friend because i thought "i couldnt relate to anyone." but really i couldnt relate to anyone because... well, you dont know what you dont know and unaddressed hidden mental issues make you feel EXTREMELY LONELY and literally cause all the things in this video, people pleasing, copying personalities to be liked, bottling it all up
also people who arent introverts arent "happy go lucky loud annoying idiots"
anyways was eventually diagnosed with depression, an anxiety disorder, personality disorder and adhd (which adhd doesnt really matter in this point but when it wasnt diagnosed and i had no clue why i was the way i was, it did intensify the symptoms of everything else.)
definitely not introverted bc of this though, feel like its easier to say amniverted or whatever it is.
because really all introverted and extroverted and all that means is how you gain and lose your mental energy
all these symptoms are huge signs of smth internally thats unresolved, not signs of a personality trait
You sort of have a point, but it also sounds like you have depression, and are confusing it with introversion.
Interesting but still inconclusive, but believe it's due in large part to me being Christian!
Allow me to elaborate ,yes I have shut some people out, yes I like to be solace, and for sure I've over thought everything ten times before I say them, but I've also managed,
To successfully combine both those identities, the bad,and the good, bringing a balance!
Because I've realized that they help one another, for example when the good guy is,
About to deal with someone negative, such as a manipulative person,
The bad guy steps up protecting the good guy,because he understands his self- characteristics there by coexisting in a well balanced understanding of one's self!
Hope this helps someone! Most people tend to go back and forth between their two minds which is why sometimes they seem indecisive or confusing to themselves, but I can tell you very briefly how to avoid this if interested, let me know! God bless
I'm like exactly what you said..I was an extrovert when I was younger and as I grew older I slowly started becoming an introvert, I myself don't even know what happened for me to change like this. I always end up copying the people around me and start acting like them (I sometimes dont even realize it) more specifically my sister since im always near her, hell even the way I talk has been influenced by her..Anyways like I said at the start, what you just wrote/typed is basically me
That's not what being introverted is, you more likely have depression w some degree of anxiety probably bc of the trauma u spoke of either way U need to sort your mental health ...
*You cannot become or change to be introverted/extroverted , idk how the general ideea came that u can "switch" between being one or the other of course into/extroversion does get influenced by your environment at a young age and your genes do allow a certain amount of flexibility in response wich are like a set of points that act as an upper or under limit of how much inro/extroversion u can handle with your ersonality type.
In the day to day life u (have to ) socialize with other people either way, an introvert gets there social battery run down faster than an extrovert and feel more confortable focusing on your inner world than the external one *
Intovertness and extrovertness is how the brain is wired to gain energy , deal with outside stimulation and process information of course.
You may never read this, but thank you for uploading this video, I have gone to therapy for many periods of time through my life... But never did any of my therapists understand, the problem I had with overthinking things for a long time, I thought I was different in a negative way to everyone, because no one that I knew ever understood that problem... But seeing this video comforts me a lot because it makes me realize that I am nothing special, am just a simple person with some negative of my personality.
Thank you for helping me humanize myself.
*Psych2Go:* "Are you guilty of any of these traits?"
*Me:* yeah, but just like...all of them.
While watching this I was thinking to myself "Do I have theese traits?" and *literally all of them* were so accurate to me...
Me to
same lmao
Same with me. Though some signs could be more frequent than the others. I am worried and confused.
dw ur definitely not the only one here
"You should be more positive!"
"Alright. I'm POSITIVE this won't end well."
Spoken like a true thinker lol
Is that an Inside Out reference?
@@ItzeltheGoddess they said they're covid positive 🚪🚶🏻♀️
@「Siilxnt」 oh if it is then negative is the way to go-
That's so me 😂
No. 6 'Lost of identity' hits me so hard.
I've spend such a long time pretending to be someone who is able to fit in a specific environment till i've lost touch of what i used to be in the past. And it makes me feel sad, because at times i just feel so lost at who i'm supposed to be. i don't even know who i am anymore.
You're not alone here. It took me close to 3 years for all the other identities to wear off. Trust me I was going into depression and coming out like I was going to the loo.
But I can boldly say today that I found my true identity in Jesus Christ.
fr im confused if im really that kind of person or just the person i want to be, i dont know myself
@Vladimir Putin but no one asked how you are :(
@@ivevivizen1385 if you act like what you want to be, you will become what you wanted to become.
The thing is, you become what you think you are, because you act in the way you think...
We all are acting like what we think we are.
And if we change our thoughts of how, we feel about ourselves which is easy,
We can change ourselves.
Like for example people think that they are losers and they start to act like that and consequently they become a loser....
So, think and act wisely,
As Your life depends upon them.
@@RealNeonPlayzLmao
I'm an introvert, who was painfully shy as a child, and found it hard to make friends. It's interesting to hear about extroverts optimism about unwise things. I have always thought that pessimism stopped me from trying harmful things, such as smoking or alcohol. Instead of thinking that getting hooked only happens to 'other people', I realise that to most of the world I am one of the other people. I also think that being a loner protected me from peer pressure. When I grew up, I worked full-time in a psychiatric unit for 10 years. Coming in contact with alcoholics, vindicated my choice to be a 'boring teetotaller.'
I'm an Ambivert, I know what u feeling n good luck to next day n successfully😊
Same here -- as an introvert, I was practically immune from peer pressure unless they literally physically intruded into my life (e.g. by stealing my school supplies to force me to react)!
I think the hardest person for any introvert to confront is themselves. After all, you’re the only one who truly knows everything about yourself, and thus your subconscious has the power to twist your past into something that you despise yourself for. Confronting that darker side of your subconscious is one of the hardest things to do.
This!
YES! You explained it perfectly.
Yes
Confronting my dark side is like trying to stop a truck. If I try to fight it, it just ends up making me feel worse. Also, I thrive on the dark side of myself. It would be like trying to tear myself apart.
OMG yes thats so true! It takes a lot of effort just to even look at ur own dark side. it gets too overwhelming
the self deprecating and cutting off contact thing is pretty true. there are very few people i can genuinely tolerate and i generally dont have problems cutting people off, even friends or relatives
Very true
Hello, fellow introvert. I’ve done that in spades, became reclusive and gave myself donkey brain for a bit. Now that I’ve gone back to in-person work. I feel like I’m on autopilot with no filter, without a care in the world and surface level conversation.
edit: send help
True
@@davedoe4932 that kind of thing is definitely a dream of sorts to me lol. but its gonna be harder than it looks, doesnt mean i wont try to have a comfortable life. i dont take this in a bad way though, for people like me who can easily cut people from their lives, it should also be easy to prevent/ get rid of toxic relationships.
People will drain you
Cut them off
I think introverts get tired of trying to be what others want them to be. This causes loss of identity and anxiety trying to please others. Sometimes we just have to lose friend's we needed losing for our own sanity.
Exactly. And also trying to please others will make introvert bottle up their anger more
Trust me, tired of being what others want you to be, or the idea of you, that they have built up in their heads. Being tired of that is an understatement. I got beyond tired, I got angry, angry at everyone and everything, just as the pandemic hit. I cut off everyone. Friends and all family members. After 9 months I allowed a small handful back into my life. After emerging from that isolation as who I really am. And the best thing I could have done is tell everyone that this is who I am, and if they don't like it, to leave and never come back. And life is easier believe me.
Yes to this comment! It’s okay and natural for some of us to want to be alone more and not keep in constant contact with certain people in our lives. For me all my real ride or die friends are the ones that are comfortable not being in regular contact. Years can go by and it’s okay because we all have our lives to live. It’s hard when certain friends can’t understand, but it’s even harder to blame yourself and think that you’re in the wrong and need to change.
Honestly I think that us introverts that keep to ourselves and set boundaries in order to not feel overwhelmed and anxious can be helpful for extroverts to witness. Just because technology allows us to communicate with the world instantly doesn’t mean it’s the only way to exist. For centuries it wasn’t even a thing! The extroverts are just louder and the self proclaimed hermits like me are just living their lives quietly and happily. It’s taken me 41 years to realize my shyness and want to be alone is not a BAD thing. It’s the core of who I am and that’s okay.
@@thedeadd.c.207 I totally agree with you. People trying to strip you of who you truly are is something I've struggled with my whole life. I'm happy being the person I'am today. Those type of people are not your friends at all. Just be yourself unapologetically & if doing that costs you friendships, best thing to do is accept everything, expect nothing, & keep moving forward. It does make life so much easier.🙏
No man, extroverts have this issue too. Everyone does. People are expected to be a certain way. Introvert has nothing to do with not liking that.
These two things have nothing to do with how you feel. Only with how you act.
So in your example, let's say you're a super proactive person. But you're an introvert. You may start writing pointing out all the issues with society at large or something similar.
An extrovert that is also a proactive person with the same feeling may find or start a group or society to band together to support each other and protest or something.
Both feel the same but have different results.
So an inactive introvert may just spend enough time outside of their safe space, usually home, but wherever they feel they can recharge, to survive and find safety within. Maybe an obsessive online gamer. Or someone that builds their own "fortress of solitude" to watch sports alone.
An inactive extrovert may find a small quiet group of friends where they can be themselves without judgement from the outside. Say a game store that holds weekly get to together. Or a weekly sport watching event with a few true friends.
Again both feel the same but react different. And no one is a true introvert or extrovert. Everyone needs social interaction for a healthy mind and everybody needs alone time as well.
If you always want to be alone, you're depressed and need to see a doctor. Not an introvert. Even extreme extroverts can get depressed and collapse into themselves. Depression is not introversion.
If an introvert were an action figure, he would be "The Overthinker - he'll take you down with an infinite loop of thoughts..." 😂😂😂
Sounds like a comic book character
Lml basically a genjutsu
I laughed SO HARD 🤣
😂😂😂
Ahh yes 😌.
You mean Izuku MerMeriya
This is the first time I hear of the term ''ghosting'' and it makes sense as part of my introvertedness. I've ghosted people throughout my life, unintentionally and intentionally. I've lost friendships because of unintentional ghosting and still feel guilt about it to myself many years later. When you say no two times to people it becomes easy to say no a 3rd time, and then you wonder if they still like you and you may feel embarrassed, so you may no longer try. At least I now I have a word for this dark trait. I don't mind being an introvert but it has its own curses.
Right and same with me too 😢😭
Whats interesting is that many of these introvert traits are also trauma symptoms. I always though that any form of psychological trauma can turn someone into an introvert. Like bottling up emotions, cutting contact with people, and fear of conflict. These are ways some people cope with their traumas. Introversion can even be a coping mechanism.
Maybe you're right
You hit the nail right in the head. I was an extrovert until I was 6 years old, then trauma happened. Got to see the physical abuse my dad did to my mother for a couple of years. We ran away for a couple more years, that changed my perspective of this world and my demeanor. Now as an adult, I can say I’m an introvert, and don’t regret it. I’m also very susccessful in my life.
Yeah... i agree
introversion seems to become more like a "its more comfortable to say in misery with unresolved and unaddressed issues and not get help" at some points tbh bc if you isolate yourself alot and cut off contact with people all the time (esspeically if you were close to those people you cut off) and dont seek help or support or any kind of communication and just bottle it all up and be a people pleaser, just slapping the label "im just an introvert" on it makes it seem like a normal thing and doesnt give off the signs that they need professional help, not to lock themselves away from the world until they become an empty vessel of a person. I wouldnt really call it a coping mechanism, but if it were to be called that it definitely be a negative one since its kinda denying theres a problem.
(though this only includes people of the symptoms above because there are people who dont have these that are introverted by its not like the steroptypes, the sterotypical introvert is just mentally ill/has unresolved truama, real introverts arent just shy, "i hate people" kinda people yknow)
Yes.. Right..
I'd add getting stuck in unhealthy routines such as self-isolating because your room may be less stressful than the outside world. Over time, this makes it hard to do what you used to be able to do, like a form of regression. It happens a lot to those of us who have severe social anxiety.
Oh my gosh yes! I have the tendency to 'putt myself away" in my room as it's safe and comfortable. But that's also where my depression can breed and spiral. I get a bad case of lone wolf syndrome and end up making myself depressed. The more I want to be alone and allow it the worse I end up feeling.
This is not introversion. This is mental distress. Seek help.
Randomly clicking on this video which, crazy Inter-bot-algorithms recommended is actually becoming quite interesting man!
Think I may be a Introvert and didn't even know what that meant until earlier Lol Avoid labels though!
......and self isolating keeps out the people noise and I can do what i want then so.......
This happened to me, had a bad relationship with my brother plus covid made me just not want to do anything and this caused me to now have weight problems, well I had them before but they were made glaringly obvious in this time, last year has been the best year in my life, I was able to get out of this room and actually have friends who cared about me
@@dacksonflux true but doesn’t mean the person isn’t introverted
The pain when you're such a good listener but when it's your turn to speak, they come up with another story to tell about them and your story remains unsaid. Probably the reason I became like this. I just feel so left out and unnoticed. In my high school I had the most amazing friends who'd listen to me all the time and I had such a cheerful personality. But now in college, I've become a introvert and I stay silent most of the time.
you told my life
SO TRUE 😔
Damn I think u shouldn’t be around people like that. Reconnect with ur highschool friends if u can
@@markigirl2757 only if I could
Interrupt them. Lol
Being an introvert basically born without any dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations or ambition whatsoever has been tough. Also not having much of an identity has also been pretty hard. Yet, I have come in terms with myself and who I am. I check most of those boxes in the video too, but I'm not too hard on myself. Overthinking is my greatest enemy by far, followed by near crippling fear of crowds. Just going shopping can and will drain my mental batteries for a few days. The more I can be alone the better. I can experience loneliness, however, something that I have only recently discovered. But only on small doses and when depressed. Making almost any decision is extremely hard and takes ages. The bigger the decision, the longer it takes. And the fact that I have been like this basically my whole life some plus 30 years... It hurts when people accuse me of something when they literally don't know me at all. That I make excuses, that I lie or I'm lazy or something... They can't imagine what it is like... To have no dreams. No hopes. No ambition. Nothing to strive for. Like I'm dead inside. But that's not true at all. I am a kind person, compassionate, a bit oversensitive at times. I just want to live my own life in peace and not bother anyone. I stopped looking for a "cure" a long time ago. Instead of thinking what's wrong with me, I started to understand that it's just who I am. I'm not going to fake myself to become something I'm not. I'm not going to force the change for the sake of other people. Become a fake... a complete stranger in the mirror... If a change comes, it comes and I'll gladly accept it. Appreciate it. Try to understand it. I hope you all have a wonderful day! 😊
I actually enjoy teamwork, as long as there's someone leading
As long as i dont have to do the heavy lifting
I struggle with that. Anytime there's ag group project, either I have to lead and do an Atlas because I fear our work will be bad and our grades low or stay in the back because nobody will consult mw because I lack expertise in that particular subject. I want to be included but I understand why others would do that, and I want help but most can't seem to understand my ideas no matter how simple they are. At least to me.
I don’t like it very much but I’m fine with it just give me something to do and leave me alone
I was put as Leader of a study group at my university. In the First year.
During that year they ignored me and never responded to messages or calls. Not even when we were supposed to present a group work.
At the end of the year I was in such severe depression that I needed treatment to prevent suicide.
Obviously I was unable to pursue that career to the point that just thinking about it damages my emotional state. The feeling of rejection was too great.
I even tried to join other groups while mine failed. but all were already established and avoided contact with others ... with me.
Like a shy introvert who was going to be the leader of a group for the first time. I really strive to be a good leader and always have all the information about everything the university requested. I don't want to go through that again in my life.
Same!
The over thinking is the worst. I spend so much time thinking about things that happened and it drains me.
Same. And in some situations it gets worse with self depreciation
i more overthink the future and i have few scenarios of what can happen. and usually it goes totally doffrently than any of my suspected turns and i am surprised and scared bc i dont know what will happen
@@scaramouche7210 dude I've done the same with relationships. I ditn know if it's healthy but it's helped me get over stuff
@@scaramouche7210 That's the worst about overthinking is things never go according to plan and then we are left wondering what to do.
@@Blahsheep overthinking past is as bad tho. :(( and also butterfly efect exist so we can imagine EVERYTHING that would happen bc thats how butterfly efect works
The cutting off contact part really hit home. I've ghosted so many people just because I didn't feel like talking at the moment (since I rarely feel the need to communicate with others) and then time passes, more time passes (I also easily forget, my memory is shit, seriously) and then you feel bad that you haven't answered sooner but then it's been so long that you also can't bring yourself to write back to someone from a month or two ago....
The empathetic part is the main discrepancy for me. I am NOT empathetic, quite the opposite, I very seriously LACK empathy. I DO NOT feel what others do in certain situations. A family member of a friend has passed away, for example. "I feel sorry for your loss" is what I say, and I mean it, but I don't...really feel it. I have no idea what to say to someone who's sad, feeling down, etc. I have no idea how to comfort people in these situations so I tend to avoid or straight up run away from them.
It also doesn't help that my mother just does not want to understand that all people aren't the same, extroverts like her just search for more human contact, physically and verbally, while sitting in my room alone is just fine for me and I really don't need more than this. I don't get the understanding in my own home, let alone somewhere out there.
I am exactly in the same situation with my mother like you. She just don't understand that i feel comfort in my room, surronding me by things i like. During qurantene she said to me, i am to much at home and that i should go out. And i was like "we are in the middle of a pandemic, i dont have to leave my room!"
The only way to know what to say to people under those circumstances is to be in situations where you have to handle that regularly. It's kind of like everything else we do as humans, social interactions are a learned skill and require practice to acquire, build upon, and maintain. Which is a catch 22 for introverts because...we're introverts, and don't particularly have a desire to be out there dealing with people. So it's very easy for us to become - and stay - somewhat socially awkward or inept.
I know exactly what you mean. For me it’s difficult to connect with people and understand what they are going through. It seems foreign to me
I think we should be friends
I'm exactly what you said
I am exactly like you,especially the empathy part,i literally don't feel anything,and when a woman starts talking about feelings and shit like that i almost want to kill myself and have no clue what to answer.
We're more self critical because, unlike the vast majority of extroverts, we actually introspect and therefore actually know ourselves. I'm not saying that this doesn't go too far sometimes, but it makes sense.
The music... it feels lonely... but adding with her voice that says "I'll be with you" is so perfect.
Can't agree more than this
@@scratches3081 ikr
Idk why but at 0:05 I just randomly started singing "Too late to hide away, too soon for one to repay"- Maybe I've been listening to FNaF songs a bit too much
All of this are actually me, I wasn't this kind of person back then, but as I grow older and more mature. I started to avoid people and stuff. I like being alone most of the time and spend some time daydreaming and stuff. My parents thought that I'm always on my phone but no, I do some other stuff too like drawing and writing on my journal. Sometimes people just don't understand what it feels like so I decided to stay quiet and focus more to myself.
Same here
I completely understand what your going through. I feel the same way.
I feel the same as well
@@Rozannna it's okay to feel this way, just don't keep your problems all to yourself. It's okay to talk about them, I recommend writing them on a journal to lessen the burden. I hope this helps you🧡. The others as well.
Same😭😭
I find one of the worst things about being an introvert for me is that practically everything stays in my head, sometimes it's almost like I have a whole room of people in my head trying to make their situation heard, at any given time I probably have a song, a story, and whatever I'm doing and more all sitting in my head fighting for my attention, it can be pretty overwhelming at times which just leads me to sit and watch youtube videos all day as that is one of few times I don't have all that going on in my nogin
Sameeee wtf.... I gotta go and write down shiet from my head now
This is hard to deal with. I am learning to relax, especially at night, and just let things go. Due to working online, at home, due to COVID, I found myself not wanting to be on the internet as much. Since I have been off for the summer, I find myself on my devices more than I want to be, so I am working on that. I do not feel as fulfilled when I am on them. Again, something I am aware of that I need to work on.
Both myself and my partner hate confrontation, our fights consist of dirty looks and cold silences.
At least we don't upset the neighbours but it means that nothing gets resolved.
Yes I can get lost in my own head overthinking and shifting rapidly from thought to thought. I have gotten lost driving due to the ADHD going on in my brain. I can analyze something so much that I forget what I'm supposed to be doing at work or home.
I always deal with this kind of situation every day ,sometime it get too much that a burst of emotion is released ,i.e negative emotion
I am proud to be an introvert, actually. As an introvert, I feel like most extroverts are too dominant (bullies sometimes). I am usually so intimidated by extroverts and I can only be around them for a short time. Also, they seem to flutter from action to action without stopping and I prefer to stand still and sift through information. Even the dark side seems quite alright to me.
I hate overthinking, but it happens to me a lot
Now how do you handle it? I also
@@yashuX200 I still don't know how to stop it completely. But sometimes just getting into action works.
Same here
I'm extrovert and I overthinking a lot. I live in bad environment and people are soo bad. I understand you.
I'm an ambivert and I feel you
The worst part in being an introvert is when you can't even talk to your family, it makes you feel like adopted.
I don’t have to imagine feeling like that I am adopted
Musa (as) dua
@Sommer Currie thank you I love your comment as well
@Sommer Currie appreciate your comment very much love to be good friends those of us who are adopted have to stick together
well I had to flee my family & change my name after they planned to have me disappeared, so I no longer worry about talking to them
The worst part about being this way is living in a world where the only way you can be "happy", surrounded by "normal" people is to constantly force yourself to not be who you are.
It's literally like you were born to be your own worst enemy.
So true!
Yea
That's a very interesting and cogent point. I used to have a bad brink problem 😕. But unlike other people who went out to get drunk I got drunk because I went out.
I like this. Very accurate. I always have been fake just to be considered "normal" lol
💯💯💯
I soooo hate overthinking, but can't just get over with. It's like naturally comes to me. For me overthinking is not a gift, but a curse 😢.
The one about losing yourself makes so much sense to me, I feel like a completely different person around my friends because I try so hard to make sure everyone’s doing okay and that everyone even likes me. I’ve thought recently about how I could literally be anyone I want to be and how my own personality is just a lost default.
I can relate. I just try to satisfy everybody by changing my personality, how I speak, reply to people. When I'm myself, I always seem to offend people easily, even when I try to avoid doing it.
Welcome to being a chameleon. They're all parts of your personality, just released at different times. Now if only we could be outgoing and social, then we'd be great actors.
Me too... I've also realized that I don't actually know my default(or hidden?) Personality. I have one for each group I'm talking to, and it's a bit hard to figure it out while sitting alone in a room or something.
@@coltonroark5658 same
@@coltonroark5658 same... I legit have a different personality for everyone I'm around, whether it's parents, other family members, different friend groups, girlfriend etc. I always try to mirror those people just to get along with them. I don't know what my actual self is... Heck, given the right circumstances, I could also be the loudest one in the room which is very very rare. I think the only time I'm "me" is when I'm alone and there's no one else around to mirror.
"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."
Great song by a great band.
The road to hell is paved with good Intentions.
All the introverts should live together not talking to each other and still feel good enough...
I vouch for that. Story of mi life
That would be hell.
That's a terrible idea, I love my extroverted community even if I'm the only different one. Without them it would be depressing since introverted kind don't care about each other.
@@dripvader69 I wouldn't say introverts don't care about each other...it could seem that way with a bunch of introverts together because we are too busy bottling everything up instead of opening up to each other and giving other introverts a reason to care
@@exorouge238 Your psychological problems don't equate to being an introvert. I have nothing of what you mentioned after my therapy.
People say, 'you don't talk'. Then when you do, you're arrogant. That was what a friend said anyway.
THEY USED AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER AHHHHH YESSSS I LOVE THIS CHANNEL
Thank you for being my voice!!
HI AANG
And Charles xavier
I can relate to the pessimism aspect the most. I feel like extroverts see things as a chance to succeed whereas introverts tend to see it a chance to fail or embarass themselves.
Nice profile pic btw!
I agree
This.
One must be cautious to not confuse pessimism with realism.
My school has a school council, where some kids go to meetings and talk to teachers about some things. I ran for it and unlike 3 years ago, the last time we did this I was alot more confident. Anyone who has felt the same, good job! If you still think you will embarrass yourself, I feel for you. Good luck, and we all are rooting for you.
After everything I've seen and experienced in my nearly 60 years, I've come to one conclusion; I am done trying to fit in to a world that never wanted to fit me in.
Well said! Same here!
Extroverts will take up as much "space" in the room as they are permitted, and introverts don't want to fight for space. I don't think it's an intentional "pushing out", but that anyone who wants to be "in" needs to carve space there. For extroverts that just happens naturally, so there isn't any perceived conflict. If you decide there's nothing "there" that is worth struggling for, it becomes very peaceful on the outside.
@thelasttimeitried we introverts care for things that are of metaphysical nature. I don't care for status, wealth , or recognition. But i cared when I overcame guilt, fixed procrastination, and learned the art of dialog. The space that I carve is internal
Just be you.
It’s sad that so many people don’t figure that out until they are old.
After nearly 16 years i feel the same way.
1. Yup. Teamwork sucks.
2. Sometimes I overthink, but not often.
3. I can be my worst critic, but that helps me improve.
4. You got me. I bottle up too much.
5. I like to think of myself as a realist.
6. Nope. I don't do that much.
7. You got me. I isolate way too much.
im an introvert with social anxiety, depression, and imposter syndrome. this honestly helped me really realize that what i do, isnt necessarily bad and i shouldnt be so hard on myself. thank you
Might I ask,what is imposter syndrome?
@@mrstein4170 in a way it’s that you feel like you never fit in anywhere, so you always have to make a new personality for every situation you’re in. so for example, when at home i have to be someone that i’m not around my family, and when i’m at work i have to be someone i’m not so my family doesn’t find out the real me. i literally feel like an “imposter” wherever i am, and in everything i do. being so that i don’t even know who i am anymore. and yea i have been diagnosed with it by my therapist so it’s not like a self diagnosis or anything. edit/add: aka, you feel like a fraud and fully doubt yourself in anything you do
@@ashercries Oh,that’s really interesting. So, It’s like you are an different person in the same body?
@@mrstein4170 more like complete and constant alienation.
@@shelbyholcombe8731 why is that?
Amanda's voice is absolutely the most soothing voice I've ever heard.
And when you listen to it at night
You'll get better dreams than ever
omigod YES
"Overthinking" that is *definitely* a true thing about me, because I tend to say things that I don't necessarily mean. And if I accidentally say something mean, I can't go a full day without feeling nervous about it and I do say my apologies after but I also keep thinking whether that person really believed I was sorry or not and just knowing that there is a 50/50 chance that they might not have accepted my apology can really get me on edge...as I'm writing this, I'm starting to think it is more than just overthinking for me-
ya me too tbh i still think and regret over stuff that i wasnt able to apoligize for and its hardto forget them as when i am doing nothing i just think of these
i do the same bur i can unfortunately bring myself to apologize:(
@@LifeLessSquip same
Better this than overthinking the thing you want to say, which leads to a stutter so damn horrible for me that it's just embarassing, like I can't speak.
So true 🤧
I'm an introvert with ALL of these traits,I find nothing wrong with them,them make me stronger,people fear what they don't understand so they call it dark as if to label it as evil and undesirable.
Dark was not meant evil or undesirable, just harder to handle for some. I have all these traits and have spent nearly 40 years trying to understand them. Nothing wrong with them, just they are usually harder to manage, deal with, process…
I notice a lot more of these signs in myself than I would like to admit..
I can click every box. I know how you feel.
So do I
So do I
Same I related to all of them😅
Fr fr my biggest issue is how to deal with them. Like idk man I feel tired and drained like I don’t know what to do anymore
As an introvert this is very accurate and relatable. However for myself the main reason for not wanting to work as a team is not that i think i can do better than others, but because of feeling uncomfortable due to the pressure of having more responsibility towards the group, afraid to be a burden on others and having the possibility to be blamed on if you didn't finish the tasks very well. These thaughts are most probably the result of lacking self confidence and negative overthinking.
It's the same for me, except for a few projects where I was either doing all the work myself (so I attempted to get this sorted with my group and eventually had to speak to a lecturer/supervisor), or nobody was doing much or any work (I think it was a case of nobody wanted to come across as bossy and so we never had a plan or delegation of tasks). Those were the only times that fear of my own abilities and contributions wasn't the thing holding me back in group projects
Same for me
My guy u just need to watch fitxfearless
I also know that feeling of messing up, mostly during group projects i mostly ghost out doing some work for the team
It's same for me...and more so when I don't understand what to do ? And what is expected off me from others?? And I cheer up and mingle when I clear my mind of those questions...
Still another one: introverts panick before travelling, public speaking and exams. Sometimes even before going to a party they'd love to go to.
Soo me omw I get soo anxious especially exams I feel physically ill, my stomach starts to cramp and feel like I I'm about to have diahrea 😢
Is there any pill I can take before an exam to help with nerves because sometimes I really be wanting to use the loo but I can't coz I'm in public 😭😭
Bingo!!!
And I used to think I'm the only one!
Me yesterday night because i had an important exam today. My body decided to start freaking out at 2 am 🤦♀️
relatable. i dont leave my house much because i fear the interaction and the uncomfortableness that comes with it :(
#8 taking pleasure in keeping people at arms length and not opening up and giving people a chance to know me. Before going to a social event i give myself a pep talk. I remind myself to not open up and dont make any connections. Dont let people in.
I'm guilty of all of these traits. ESPECIALLY the cutting off contact one... I left my friends without any explanations. I know I have to at least check up on them but I really don't feel the need to; I don't know if it's laziness but everytime I "say" I'm going to do it I don't. I really enjoy being by myself but I also fall in a deep rabbit hole of loneliness. It was my choice to stop speaking to them and I will admit that I feel better this way . Though another part of me wants at least someone I can call a "friend" yet I don't know how to keep them. I really do not know what I want. Anyways bye .
Of the all things we could have in common, this is definitely one of them.
Preaching to the choir, I haven’t completely lost them but it’s not the same and I’m slowly retreating into myself
I left my extrovert friend for six weeks now cause he was pissing me off and draining my battery like a vampire.
Same i miss my family and i wont even call i enjoy hanging out every now and then but no one understands and i cant explain it . I be in my own world its better that way for me ! Ughh 😕
relationships are too draining to have. some require too much maintaince for my tastes lol.
As an introvert myself, I can say that much of this is true. But many people misunderstand us. We're not insensitive or indifferent or uncaring or uncooperative, we just function differently and don't always know how to convey our thoughts and emotions or know how to express ourselves. Bottles emotions are one of our biggest problems, because we don't really know how to let them out, which is why we come across as indifferent, or when our emotions finally reach a capping point and come out, they seem extreme, because it's everything coming out at once. And yes, we're very empathetic towards others and can at times feels what they're feeling, which can be overwhelming for us, especially since we're already struggling with our own emotions. We may not sow it, but there's a LOT going on beneath the surface.
Yes true.
Bottling emotions is the worst things...
I used to be a normal person when I was kid...But because of the bottling emotions, nowadays I don't feel any emotions towards my parents (as if I am done with them, and only care about myself now). And worst thing is I am unable to make myself like before now >.
What you said is me in a nutshell
Lots of people misunderstand extroverts, too. All the time. 😅
True true true, my classmates, my relatives, teachers everything thinks i am arrogant without even talking to me once lol
In high school I was quiet, shy and self depreciating. Later found out they thought I was a snob. Ahhhhh!!!!!
I mean, nine times out of ten, working in a team DOES lead to drama, conflict and arguments.
thats so true
the worst thing is when you accept that you have to work in a group and the group says something like ,,ewww i dont want her in my group im not gonna work with her” and i ask teacher if i can work alone and the teacher says you can join to other group and YOU HAVE TO PICK THE GROUP and you look at everyone and all you see on their faces is like ,,pls dont go to out group” and then someone says ,,fine work with us🙄” but they sound so bothered by the fact that you will work ith them but they dont want to make you sad so they allow you to join the group.
Well it's inevitable, but we can try to solve it.
@@42KattaK24 Pure realism, actually.
Conflict is inevitable in this world. Being an introvert volunteered into managing a team. Conflict comss quite readily. But open discussion and debating and not arguing points of view and personal preference for credit of effort and glory. It tends to keep the team running smooth. Just trying to solve the issue and not worrying about the cause.
The speaking voice of this young lady is so calming.
This is one of my favorite comment sections, seeing so many people who I can relate to makes this feel like I’m walking in a room of long lost relatives.
Exactly, like I can't respond to them all, but I want to have conversations with everyone about their introversion...
It's nice to find a group of people I can finally relate to for a change of pace.
Same here ,, after finishing the video I always come here and get myself little consoled that I'm not really alone. Seeing everyone talking about themselves out feels good.
Same
It made me realize that I'm not "anormal" because of how I feel most of the time. And I'm glad about it.
Same
Although I'm introverted, complete strangers will tell me their life story. As an empath I have to avoid negative people's energy so I don't absorb. I sense more people are negative than positive. Misery loves company. I'm not jumping off the bridge with everyone else and people don't like that.
Your comment is beautifully written I have to say
I'm glad that I'm not the only person. So many strangers talk to me about their problems and this makes me so confused. A homeless man once told me his story involving beating the man who was responsible for a very dark situation. I just didn't know what to do.
Same
@@TheDictionaryDuck I wouldn't expect a positive conversation from a homeless person. Just saying.
Empathy turned me into an introvert. I cared too much for people. Cared too much about the future of our world. I found humanity to be tragic. I found the way we all live to be pathetic. And as such, I crumbled into dust. Burnt into ash. Was reborn once again, crumbled, then burned once more.
They all left me, the people I loved. They all did stupid stuff, how blind they were. They all thought of me as being weird, they weren't really wrong.
And so, as the strings suspending my fragile heart snapped one by one, it fell and shattered into a bajillion pieces. It then forged into an abyssal mass of energy. Still, though, suspended by two strings. Years passed, the energy grew. Then one staring snapped. I realized then. Whilst looking at that final string. I realized then what I had to do.
I had to cut it. To burn it. Then I was free. Free to be a ghost that nobody noticed. Free to vanish into the Backpages of existence.
I blend in now. Granted, I'm not like them. I can't have sex with whoever looks good, I hate myself far too much. I can't think of people as friends, I hate the way I am far too much.
And I can't...
Forget it. I've lost my train of thought.
"Everything comes with a dark side. Even the brightest light" -Min Yoongi, BTS
💜
Light illuminates darkness. But also brings out shadows where things are brightest- a divine dichotomy.
💜💜
BTSBIOTARMY
Yawa😆
I am an introvert, it has been proven by my family and friends. In this video, I am all traits except for the last one... And like you said in the video with introverts losing themselves, that really hit home for me. This video helped explain why many things happened in my life. Like me being happy in the present then upset because I remembered something from long ago, but thank you verry much.
The reason I personally don’t like working in a group is because I feel like I can’t suggest any of my ideas. I’m pretty sure I suffer from some sort of social anxiety (never been diagnosed just a suspicion,) so that definitely has something to do with why I hate talking to people I don’t know so much that I just keep all my group project ideas to myself. I always end up thinking “If only I were doing this by myself. It’d be so much easier and I just try out my ideas without having to run it by 4 different people and have them all look at me like I’m a crazy person and then turn me down.” So... maybe it’s not just because I’m an introvert. I just overthink ;-;
same i feel like my ideas wont be as good as theirs and i dont want them to think im weird or boring if they got to know me so thats also why i sometimes end up distancing from my friends every other month or so and i feel bad cause they get mad at me for it but i just cant tell them anything ab me idk why ( ik u didnt ask but i just wanted to rant anonymously)
Its ok to share ideas who knows maybe it can benefit you and your groupmates
@@nikku3184 your not alone bro, I promise I know the exact way your feeling and it sucks.
I thought I'm alone with this kind if behaviour. I'm so glad ti know that there are other who feels the same way 😭😭😭
@@awkwardly88 right back at you!
I separated myself from people because I always tried my best to understand others but they never bothered to understand me. It hurts so much. I even went into depression because of it. I suffer from all the things here.
Honestly speaking, isolation seemed like the most logical solution at this point in my life
You're not alone. Guilty as charged here 😭
Totally understand. I 'ghosted', if you can call it that, basically for self preservation. It seems as if I was the one who always had 'to understand/be understanding' of others situations but I wasn't given same courtesy. I remembered and either called, sent cards, texts...for birthdays and significant milestones but mine seemed to be an afterthought. Friends shouldn't have to be told to reciprocate especially when they do it for other friends. I was becoming resentful and concluded that I must not have been as close as I thought so figured it was best to cut ties. 😔💔
Dont care about them.
They dont wrry abt you
You deserve more to unworry abt them than the other way
Me too
You’re not alone. Here if you want to talk
I only have one friend, and whenever we hangout i prefer her to do the talking, she can talk whatever topic she want and im be glad to just listen, and sit there. I dont know why, rather than do the talk myself, i just feel happy listening.
U got an amazing frnd
Must be wonderful
@@rachel_lalaa yes im blessed. Cus im not the friend who text other first, and i can go months or years, with contact but luckily she seems to understand and always the one who checked on me. 😊 my other friends think i ghosted them or forget them, unfriend them, when actually i feel like i disturb them if i texted them first thats how we lost contact and i only left with one who understand my situation.
@@sarcasticintrovert6609 it is. 😊 i feel grateful
@Rayy you are not alone. I find it very difficult to first let people in, then to stay connected to them. I always feel like I am bothering or interrupting someone else's life, even if it is just a text. Let alone a phone call. Odd as it is, I am content to just let be. I am ok with not having contact. I am ok with the hand full of people who are close to me and I don't feel like I am lacking because these other people are not close to me. I don't feel a sadness for a loss of contact. I may feel a bit of a wish that it was different but that is very momentary.
I believe it was one year ago that I realized that I´m more of an introvert and a thing I recently started to do was to write down things when I was overthinking them. Now whenever I have something on my mind I write it down, describing what it is what bothers me, how I feel and how I could change it with or without help of others. It really helps to calm me down and focus on other stuff.
being an empath. able to tell if someone is lying just as a gut feeling. every so often i literaly dont speak for entire days to literaly anyone including my own family. i just dont feel like interacting with anyone. i can easily tell if someone is a good person or if i should keep my guard up
Same. Everyone says, "don't judge a book by its cover" but to this day, I have never gotten the wrong first impression of anyone. From picking the right friends because they looked nicer than everyone else in the room, to being wary of the uncle who low key likes to bully people weaker than him, but no one else seems to notice but me. I have always been able to know if someone would be a good relationship in my life or not. (Whether I choose to follow my gut in such matters is another story entirely...)
It is very good to see there are some people out there like me
@@arindamghosh6386 ikr
That's cool
That testing gut feeling that someone is less than nice or trustworthy I get it all the time, that’s why I stay away from ppl, I don’t feel like finding out if I was right
I'm reading comments here from some who think being an introvert equates to loneliness or sadness. However, that is not the key traits because those emotions are shared equally by introverts and extroverts. You are a true introvert if your battery is depleted by socializing. Good friends drain your battery very slowly, but with some people it can be drained within an hour. Extroverts actually charge their battery by being around people. Introversion, extroversion is a measure of your temperament, not an indicator of emotions.
finally someone doing us some justice
yeah i prefer books over people
thank you for pointing this out to people because introversion and extroversion certainly aren't mental health issues like some seem to be implying with their words. unintended or not. there's so much more to each aspect of these kinds of people than just emotions
@@zemo9656 for instance people see me as a extrovert cause I work outside alot. im an introvert who likes books more than people
💯
This is ridiculously accurate, I am guilty of all these traits. I try really hard to not be an introvert bc I'm missing out on so much but I have really bad anxiety and being an introvert is a sort of cushion for it.
i am guilty as well, being an introvert has its high points like being alone is better than being around people but when you miss out on so many things, i just hate that
Me too. Same, same.
same for me. Ineresting how every single point they brought up was correct for me...
You sound exactly like me
Because being introvert I'm slowly losing my friends.. 😔 being introvert sucks.. 😓
As an introvert I'm improving only on the things I'm interested in. I love history, and I can remember a lot of things from history lesson. But in the same time I hate Maths, and I can't understand it.
If you're an introvert, you're automatically losing at life because the world just doesn't understand your need for alone time and your need to think things through before you speak. Everything in life is set in the fast lane and it's just aggravating having to keep up that blistering pace.
i guess im losing at life then
That's a pretty pessimistic way of looking at things which adds to Amanda's point of introverts being more prone to pessimism then extroverts lol I mean I would agree to some point that people need to be more understanding of the fact that I don't need to be around other humans 24/7 in order to have a fulling life, when that's far from the case. But that doesn't mean I'm inheritly a "loser". It just means I'm me and there's nothing wrong with that
@@lilbadahhkid you say pessimistic and I say realistic. The world is made for extroverts and that's never going to change.
Someone’s gotta be me. Might as well be me.
Ight ladies and gentlemen who else is losing at life here
If I ghosted them, they deserved it. Eff what they feel, they sure didn't care what I felt.
So agreed. There's only two people I've ever cut completely and deliberately out of my life, and it was for the sake of my own mental health/sanity.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
@@jonathanbowen3640 Yep, leaving abusive relationships was SO wrong of me lol
@@eranazeitler203 ghosting is not leaving. You can leave someone and explain why without ghosting them. Respecting that person on the way out. Ghosting means suddenly vanishing with no explanation.
The whole ghosting thing just means everybody looses. No closure.
Ghosting is the weak way out.
@@jonathanbowen3640 No arguments there... And telling someone exactly what you think of them BEFORE never speaking to them again is a very satisfying experience also. But since the original poster didn't go into details about how/why he "ghosted" there may be more to it than random internet ppl should judge.
I checked every box many times in my life. Not only are these traits getting more pronounced in my life, but I have begun to embrace them. I’m tired of putting on a face for others.
2.Overthinking
I actually like this trait cuz whenever i start thinking, i start talking to myself and to be honest its really nice to talk to myself and it's helps when i feel stressed or scared or maybe nervous, i just talk to my subconscious's and they make me feel better and more relaxed and so they are my best friends!
I overthink so much I can't get the actually task done.
@@delusionaldreamer8332 i overthink so much that i will find myself in a big argument with myself😆
Ohhh bb ! Sameeee huhuhu
Social introvert?
Has absolutely fucking nothing to do with being an introvert, you do realize that right?
"No answer is also an answer".
The thing about introverts Ghosting people, it's just that those people don't understand even after dropping hints, or sometimes even after a conversation about things that make the introverts to ghost them. They just don't get it. so instead of wasting energy on repeating the same thing, ghosting seems like a better option.
I sometimes feel like I am talking to a brick wall. People just don't get what I am saying so I avoid them.
@sabage cabage123 I have noticed they seem idiotic. I have always been a realist. A lot of people take this as being pessimistic. I just think I am more grounded.
@sabage cabage123 you’re calling people dumb based on how they communicate and you confused our/are multiple times and their/there/they’re. The irony is painful.
@sabage cabage123 THE FUCKING IRONY. OH MY GOD.
@@daledavis6984 bless you
I relate hard to the cutting off contact one.. even if we’re somewhat “close”. I simply just lose interest and ghost forever. I feel guilty too.. yet I feel way better not speaking to them, without any explanation. That only results if I don’t want to be bothered anymore, one-sided, I outgrew them, or I just don’t care about what they’re up to. Especially if that person is draining, have pointless interactions or repeating the same stuff. They could even be a good person but it's always me who feels disconnected or can't relate with their interests/problems/mindset.. I just can’t keep up with people unless I feel super strongly towards them, which is honestly very rare for me. I really enjoy being alone but at the same time I do want someone I can deeply and truly connect with as a “friend”, (instead of superficial people) because it does get utterly lonely. Hopefully that makes sense.
I relate to this a lot
This is me too. So i read a lot of people here experiencing this is i am not alone or abnormal person. 😂 I feel bad for them but the moment i stay away from them i dont regret it tho. I just remember them sometimes but dont want to be with them anymore. I ghosted my highschool bestfriend. I ignored my friends from my old work. If someones got too attached to me, i stopped talking to them. Most of the times, i hate myself. I dont know if this is still an introvert thing or theres something wrong with the way i think and interact with people☹️
How remarkably platitudal
@@Jason-eo1rh How remarkably moronic
Don't hate on my observation
The bottling up part. Is like tanking all damage until you save up for your super move.
Except. Instead of winning. It hurts everyone. Including yourself.
I am introverted person, don't actually like to contact with a lot of people, but if it's team work I just let them take the charge so I'm aside. However, sometimes I can tell them what would be better in my opinion. I also do not bottle my emotions. I am kind of sentimental, and if person really matters to me, then it would be better if we talk about feelings( I guess, it's just because I am not scared to open up, because of the small amount of attention I get)
Lucky you
im the same. i even enjoy teamwork with really close friends. but if im with random team members and they don t know how to do things and i need to do everything then i prefer doing it solo cuz i dont like people watching me and they always get in my way
@sabage cabage123 im not sure i think that might be more a personal thing than an introvert thing because dealing with grief is subjective imo
being an introvert always had people misinterpreting our character, which is why it's so easy for introverts to lose friends. it is so hard to fit in to the crowd when little interaction already made you overwhelmed and anxious.
One of my best friend and I are introverts out of our group of friends so sometimes we tend to do our own things but it's always cool whenever we all get together.
One thing not mentioned, dealing with trauma as an introvert is difficult. Particularly when some of that trauma has made it impossible to trust anyone.
You should never fully trust anyone.
As an introvert in Highschool, this is so relatable...
"You think working on a team yields inferior results to if you work alone"
I can prove it.
Facts. A lot of great things require singular vision.
damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
So true for me too
I used to think this way during team presentation (school days) but I don’t like being the speaker 🤭
Preach preacher 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
There's absolutely nothing WORSE than group work.
Jeeeeeez that's why bands disband, results: amazing career.
I deal with every single one of those traits. I wasn't like this when I was younger, but a lifetime of being treated like crap by people I trusted made me adjust to protect myself. Now, I've been alone for so long, I'm not even sure I'd be able to do any different. Sure, I get lonely...a lot. Holidays are extremely difficult, without a doubt. But, I think about all the garbage that's always come from my relationships, and I just deal with the loneliness.
Just because it didnt work in the past doesnt mean it can't now, i encourage you to try things out once again and stop thinking of yourself as an introvert, sometimes the mind just wants us to believe certain stories of ourselves but if it's not what you want you shouldn't allow that, and if your situation is just as you described it than there's nothing to lose, go ahead man and try being the person you want to be, and if it doesn't work than try again, after all there's only one life
I can relate to you
In holidays I surround myself with my hobbies to fill the void- I made a routine where I did them everyday
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Same way, Kevin. I'm in my 30's and just can't trust people anymore. We care and reach out to them, and they don't appreciate it at all. Take care of yourself bro. You're probably a really good guy.
When a kid in your class thinks you hate everyone because your scared to talk because you will likely be judged
I nearly got expelled from high school because someone said to me "bring it" and I said "no, I'll just show you a picture" and several students panicked.
I ultimately won the case and got to complete my senior year of high school.
One time in English we had to go up to someone and tell at them in Shakespearean and wait for a reply when it got to my turn I let out all my bottles emotions which led to the person I yelled at to mutter a reply with everyone else being shocked and nobody bothered me for a week, best week ever. My friends 5 years later are still shocked about it
I was always shy in school and still is shy in school. People would think I was scared to talk due to being judged which wasn't the case I was just always shy af in school.
I am not interest, not hate, not scared, but my therapist told me I have social phobia. And I was like, what?
@@Ur14N
It shouldn't be difficult to say something to even a stranger while waiting in line but social phobia is a real thing. Some people don't want to be bothered with people.
I’ve been accused of overthinking because a person told me ‘I want to do a will before I travel in case I die ‘ (they were going to America) and I was like ‘here are five or six things you might want to include’. Sometimes people would rather accuse you of overthinking than admit that they didn’t think at all.