When Illy said, "People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know" I actually burst into tears, I really needed to hear that.
I agree, Becca. It must not have been easy for her to talk about this topic, and yet she did. I bet it was a huge weight off her chest, and as a fan, I'm really happy and proud of her. :)
“Seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you a attention seeker your not being dramatic or over sensitive what your feeling is real its sad and its scary” Really made me burst into tears
Hearing that “needing help doesn’t make you an attention seeker” makes me tear up because I’ve felt like an attention seeker all my life even though I know I’m not, it hits hard.
as someone who ended up in the psych ward after a seriously damaging suicide attempt, I thank you, illy. keep spreading your kindness. edit: thank you all for your concern, i'm doing much better now! remember that you are loved. ❤
“seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you an attention seeker. You are not being overdramatic or too sensitive” thank you, thank you, thank you. Cried through the second half of the video, currently still crying. Thank you
I lost my little sister in 2020. She was one of the few members in our family that we didn't think we needed to check in on. The "People will notice. People will miss you." line is so, so real
I’m so glad I came across this video! I have been struggling for a long time as well with mental health and I recently finished a PHP (partial hospitalization program) and IOP (intensive outpatient program) and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. These mental health programs and facilities are truly life-saving and so misunderstood. Seeing positive media makes it a lot easier for break down the stigma around mental health and taking care of yourself. Much love everyone and I hope this video helped you as much as it helped me. It’s nice to know you aren’t alone. 🫶🏻
Using an anonymous account because I don't usually comment, but I just wanted to say thank you. As a 15 year old that has been contemplating suicide for the last year or so, hearing that "people will miss you" made me realize that there is people I have in my life to live for. I've been afraid of telling a therapist or my parents about being suicidal, because I was afraid of being admitted to a psych ward, but after seeing this I might decide to be a little more open with them. Thank you so much
dont tell ur parents or a therapist, thats one of the dumbest things u could do. u dont want to talk to ppl who dont understand and also you'd just be reaffirming stigmas that all young ppl are mentally ill. plus, therapy is way too expensive
I'm a 51-year-old man who struggles with depression and mental health. Your message of "people care about you" brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this.
I was almost admitted two months ago, currently suffering through the grief of losing my grandpa and trauma from child protective services taking me and my siblings away from my mom for six months because we had roaches. I used to cut and had multiple suicide plans (They don’t know this or I probably would have). The “people will care if you disappear, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know.” Almost made me cry. I’m currently not medicated for my depression and anxiety and waiting for my first therapy appointment in two or three months.
I hate them being called insane asylums. It makes them seem scary and a horrible place. I had to spend quite a bit of time in a mental health hospital and for the first few weeks, I was terrified because I kept thinking to myself "everyone here is crazy and could lash out at any moment". In reality, they are just like regular hospitals but for people with some issues. No psychopathic cannibals strapped to chairs or screaming people ripping themselves apart. Just a place to help people get better
Tell that to the people who got into a fight there every other day. I've watched way to many feral teenagers get there pants oull down and shot in the ass with a syringe to beleive this. The name is warrented
@@brix-rb9dg yes, people with major issues do go there, but the name makes it seem like the people that go there are crazy. I went there stressing that maybe I was insane which makes you worse. But most of the people I ended up meeting were at least nice. The hospital I was at wasn't exactly as nice in the video as we were separated a lot more, but it's not as scary as the word asylum suggests
tbh, some have pretty nice things. Heard they have rooms that have powerful lamps. People with severe winterdepression can sit there for a short while and it is like having an instant summer :) Some have nice gardens or activities. Though they are less nice than that retirement home with hot tubs or residential kittens.
@@bopply2616 Actually, the word "asylum" originally means essentially a place to find peace and safety. People fleeing from a country can seek asylum in a safer place, for instance. It's a bit of a shame that it's taken on a less friendly connotation lately. I wonder if Batman (and the whole Arkham asylum thing) is partially to blame? Cause really, it should be such a nice term. I mean minus the "insane" part anyways, that's not helping anyone :/
i was sent to a mental hospital, and all of the patients were really nice. The nurses, however, clearly viewed us as sick and hardly even people. I wasnt clearly struggling, and one of the nurses looked at me and said 'it must be hard to be surrounded by all this sickness.' When I was interviewing for partial the lady who was interviewing me treated me like a child. People really dont understand that a lot of the times its not the patients who are the scariest part about psych wards.
definitely. I think I'm lucky to not have had a completely terrible experience. but it wasn't easy and I have a lot of mixed feeling about it to this day. trauma, but also feeling like its what I needed. and 100%- the other patients were I think what helped me the most
“it must be hard surrounded by all this sickness.” That statement will cause me to hunt whoever said it almost immediately which is not a good thing one because of the place I would be in like a metal hospital, two will give the staff justification to not view or treat me as human I identify as part wolf so people would probably already view me as subhuman hehe. I’m glad you had a good experience.
My great grandmother had schizophrenia and she spent her life in and out of hospitals. She had horrible treatment, and our family believes my great aunt was fathered not by my great-grandfather, but a worker at one of the hospitals. She was a wonderful woman according to my mum, not violent just troubled. She just heard voices, she loved her family. She passed when I was a baby, but I’ve been told her funny stories my whole life. I’m proud to be her relative, what a strong woman she was and how the cards she was dealt were so cruel. She spent her last 10 years of life hospital free, comfortable and surrounded by family. I’ve been quite depressed lately, and I remind myself of how my family has fought through mental health again and again. She found happiness, and so can I. No shame in being admitted, but I know there’s strength within me.
In Brazil, there was a "holocaust" that happened in Barbacena's psych ward. In my city there is a ward thats was suposedly reformed and humanized but recently, in 2010 or so, a man was found locked in a cage in the underground (treated in animal like conditions) .One of my relatives received shock "therapy" and was held in one of those institutions back in the 70s, he just had lithium deficiency.
As someone who’s also been admitted several times, it’s very comforting in a strange way to know that I am not alone and that one of my favorite RUclipsrs has a similar experience to me. I know this must be extremely difficult to talk about, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and making so many people feel less alone. This feels very de-stigmatizing and again, (I know I sound like a broken record,) thank you, you amazing person!
Like all of your videos, you did not have to share this. The fact you did is incredible. I am glad you are still here, and wish you all the best no matter where your life takes you Illy.
I was put into one because I was having a panic attack at school and some stupid day one police officer called a ambulance and I was put in my opinion unrighteously and it was horrible I peed on a man but as of now I’m so happy and much better I was supposedly need it too stay for a month but my father was so stressed out he had a seizure and I left along with him
As a nurse that works mainly in the adolescent unit of a psychiatric hospital, I am really glad that a video like this exists. So many of the kids that come in could definitely benefit by seeing and hearing other's stories and seeing that they're not alone in their experiences.
I have a question. I'm a teen and was thinking of becoming a nurse there. Idk if this is rude but do you get payed well? Do you enjoy your job? Have you ever been "unsuccessful" ?
I went once, and I spent the entire time scared and confused. I didn't get any treatment because I didn't understand how "locking me up" was supposed to help me. I then decided to never express any suicidal ideations from then on.
Hey Illy! I’m currently 12 and have been admitted to a mental hospital twice. It really has been damaging to tell people but this video really made me realize that needing help isn’t something to be ashamed of. Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it.❤
I had to be in the hospital for 2 days and missed lots of school(2 months) because of the fevers that my mom just had me go, i was surprised when people asked where i was trust me, people will miss you! Coming from your crohns girly
Speaking as someone from Bangladesh, a third world country, this is something we so desperately need. But we're stuck in the (in the American context) 1950s when in comes to mental healthcare. Just knowing that this type of acceptance exists somewhere on this planet is immensely helpful. Sending this to all my depressed friends. ♥️
I hope your country can get good mental Healthcare in the near future, the one thing everyone should be able to get is adequate and accessible mental Healthcare without persecution or judgment. My country still has so far to go in getting great mental Healthcare, but I bet most people here would come to appreciate how incredible our system is compared to the developing world
Same here in Algeria (North africa) From what I've heard about my cousin, who became depressed and even wandered on the streets for months before his family put him in a psychward, most stories about psychwards are horror stories that people use to gaslight you into thinking that "no" you don't need help. They also often bring faith and laziness into the mix??? Like how do you link me suspecting I have ADHD and depression with my relationship with faith and Allah? WTF. Like the stigma around it made it so hard. My mom doesn't believe what I'm going through is real and the fact that I need a psychiatrist not a psychologist (the one I went to were terrible). Like I went to a psychiatrist once and my mom refused to take me back for the second session where we were supposed to assess things. Anyway, I hope y'all survive what you're going through.
“People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know” That was everything I needed to hear, thank you illy
This is actually not true because if I was gone today others including yourself will movery, my family might care and they move on without me through time but it doesn't mean they won't miss me. It's those who have known you your entire life who will miss you when your gone because after them you have nobody left.
I personally love seeing the "988" posters in the video and the links. my grandfather started this project and my family and I helped. we put an insane amount of work and I'm glad it paid off.
Everyone let’s all give a round of applause to illy for being brave ans strong to talk about her experiences with a psych ward. And to everyone else talking about their experiences,you are strong too,and we are happy to see you strong
Literally crying because I was just in the situation where I was terrified to be admitted into the pych ward. I was and still am in the lowest point in my life and my parents thought it would be best to be evaluated. It's a difficult thing to admit, that you need help but it's better to get the help than for it to be too late
It will be okay either way. I've been admitted and the very beginning is always the scariest. Some people might be jerks, but you just understand each other, and it feels nice. Same thing with the staff. There are the most amazing nurses along with the not so great ones. A big part of my recovery is finding the red balloons. All the depression and anxiety and other trauma is yoir white elephant, and everyone's gonna tell you to not focus on it. But it's alot easier to find a red Ballon to focus on instead. You are not alone
Hoo boy, nearly 40 year old here who was admitted to the psych ward at 17 and 23. Man, this is relatable! Dealt with a ton of depression and anxiety stuff that sent me to very bad places, and both times really helped me get back on track. And people will notice that you’re gone. No one is an island. This society is just geared to make it feel that way.
Wah! 😲 Wow you’re right! But it’s in a good way. Got to say that, in the early-mid 2000’s the fear of what people thought about mental health issues was like a storm cloud hovering over you. So glad that people are more honest with themselves!
I want to say, recently one of my closest friends had to go to the mental hospital. I still miss them (their still alive). The other day i checked up one them. And they responded. I almost cried. People will miss you.
I'm a counseling intern at a psych hospital. Genuinely thank you for trying to break the stigma. More people need to be like you. This was extremely brave. Another banger as always.
Hey sorry if this is weird, but can I ask what degree you got to intern at a psych hospital? I’m only in my first year of a Bachelors of Arts psych study, but I feel like I don’t have much direction rn
@sopgiav yeah no problem! I'm in my first intern class for my masters in counseling degree. I got my bachelors in psychology as well so thats a good path to the clinical route if that's what you wanna do. Still got a year until I get my license and degree though.
As a med student who's aiming to be a psychiatrist, thank you for speaking up about this. There's still so much stigma around mental health and seeking help to the point I've heard multiple times that I'm wasting my potential by deciding to pursue the mental health branch as if it's any less important. I'll stay true to my dreams and help as much people as I possibly can. I want to give back and take care of others and I can't stress enough how important and crucial is mental health
Future psychologist here. I agree that the stigma around mental health is still strong and it is important to talk about it. If anything, in a world where so many physical issues can be taken care of, people have more time to pay attention to their mental health.
I remember after my last major suicide attempt, everything about me was physically fine but I didn't know if my body was secretly damaged so I worked up the courage to tell my older brother that I needed to get checked at a hospital to be safe. This led to me admitting to him what I did the night before and of course he told the rest of my family. He takes me to the hospital and there is literally nothing wrong with my body, but I am getting talked with a psychiatrist before being released just to be safe. This is when my father reaches the hospital and enters during the talk. He takes over the conversation to scream "If there is really something wrong with you, we will put you in an asylum till you are normal again. Is that what you want? Us to leave you there if you are depressed? Or is there really nothing wrong with you?". The psychiatrist had to ask him to leave the room. I don't tell them about this stuff anymore.
A very similar thing happened to me almost exactly 4 years ago, and I've been dealing with my mental health alone since then. I'm not gonna pretend that I know exactly what you're dealing with but I hope you know you're not on your own. Shit sucks.
I get how you feel man, I'm in a similar situation with my mom, she's not the person I feel safe around and always says stuff like that to me too. Just know, your not in this alone.
I work as a mental health tech and stribe to be a “Maria” every single day. It makes me so happy when adults who were once admitted recognize the distinction between the Susan’s and are thankful for the work we do. It’s definitely an “underpaid” position, but it’s the most gratifying and fulfilling job I have ever worked. I was admitted and I have struggled with depression since I was 17, and being able to give back to the community that once saved my life means the literal world to me. Thank you Illy🧡
People with depression don’t deserve to go to a psych ward. It’s like going to the ER for a cold. Reserve psych wards for schizophrenics and mania patients.
@@MM-pv5tp if you had a chronic lung or immune condition you might very well need to go to the ER as the result of a cold. Life-saving medical care isn’t something people have to “deserve”, it’s just a right. Even if depression wasn’t life-threatening, as it often is, people in pain would still have the right to receive treatment. What you’ve said here is indefensible.
@@WhatWouldLubitschDo If you had a chronic lung condition and you could die at any moment, then you absolutely should go to the ER, but not if you just have a common cold. Depression is not immediately life threatening since it can’t make you kill people or yourself, and even if you do, it’s almost always when you’ve had it for a really long time and you’ve reached your breaking point. So why won’t you go to therapy before you reach that point. Seriously, going to a psych ward for depression is like going to the ER for a cold, and it’s disrespectful to schizophrenics and mania patients who are actually in crisis, whose lives are actually on the line, and need immediate care.
I work with vulnerable teenagers and I will try to share this video around to those who can benefit from it. I went to a clinic myself in 2019 it was more of a personality disorder treatment of 9 months but I understand the shame. The whole "People will miss you when you're gone" part really hit me. Thank you for this video.
so did you go to residential? and for a pd? that's something i've been told could happen with me, was it helpful? only answer if you're comfortable of course
@@lemocide well I'm from the Netherlands so I'm not sure what residential means. I took a train there on sunday and stayed till Thursday, 4pm. And that for 9 months. It was more like fulltime group therapy with a lot of rules. It helped a lot! Unfortunately they had to close the whole place down after being a psych place since the early 1900's very sad. Mental health care funding has been declining for years now :(
As a person who's mother has threatened to send them multiple times... Thank you. My mental health is often never taken seriously, and 'sending me away' is used as a threat rather than an option to help me. You are an amazing person, Illy!
4:48 thats why I like sam and colby because if ghosts do exist they try their best to talk to them, find out the real story, and help if it's possible.
Illy, thank you for making this. I'm 13 and I've been admitted too a psyche ward twice. I don't think I can explain how much seeing one of my favorite animators talk about this kind of experience means to me.
I went to a psych ward and it was upsetting but it wasn’t an awful experience. It’s nothing like the movies or video games. I just read books, colored and talked to people. I was scared that my fiancé wouldn’t stay with me because who wants a crazy girl but he didn’t care! We really need to destroy the idea that psych wards and patients are dangerous monsters.
"People will care if you disappear one day." That line instantly brought me to tears. Didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for being brave!
When she said “people with care if you disappear one day” made me cry because every time I have su1c1d4l thoughts I always tell myself no one will notice I disappear so I’m so happy she said that
as a 11 year old, who always thought that my problems are "too small" and that "im gonna be a burden", this video has helped me a bunch, youre like a therapist. Thanks you, Illy
I was admitted into a mental hospital due to self-harm. My mom suddenly passed away from liver cancer in February this year. I initially coped with it through music, videogames, and the occasional cry. It was a rollercoaster of grief. The real bout of depression hit me like a truck in April. It was difficult getting any schoolwork done. I felt uneasy as this one big piece to my life remained empty. One day, I tried to help with how I felt by going outside and walking to my local sushi bar to treat myself. It was a great day. Only the next day on the bus ride home, I planned to take a knife to my arms and legs. I did just that when I got to my room. My dad noticed what I was doing. After a brief conversation, he drove me 20 minutes to the nearest mental hospital. I was there for a week. Honestly, it was the best week of my entire year. At first though, it was scary. I was still so shooken up. I felt uneasy in that sterile environment, but over time, it started to feel like home. I got used to sleeping on an uncomfortable 5" thick foam mattress with the door open and nurses checking on everyone every 15 minutes. The food was delicious. We did art together. We sat at a table to discuss various mental health related topics. My therapist there even recommended this book called "The Happiness Trap." I highly recommend it. I've learned some very good coping skills through that book and during my stay. Hell, I even bought my own copy. Everyone there was super sweet. Even the other patients there were awesome. I made five friends during my stay. We had a blast. There was one time we were playing duck-duck-goose in the enclosed outdoor space on the basketball field. We were wearing those same non-slip socks as you described except they ripped super easily. From running in circles during that game, we tripped, ripped our socks, and almost sprained our ankles. When anyone did get hurt, we all laughed it off. Such good times. What was cool was the nurses allowed us to turn on the TV during free time and let us choose what to watch or listen to. I had dibs on the remote a lot of the time and played barber beats and jazz from the Yakuza OST. I don't know how the other patients put up with me for so long, lol. Hands-down, that hospital was one of the best experiences ever. I came out of that place a changed young woman. Unfortunately, however, there have been some stories in circulation about bad experiences in similar facilities. So if anyone has to get into a mental hospital, I highly recommend you look at the reviews. Thank you for sharing your story, Illy.
Yeah I have been doing self harm and have been thinking suicidal thoughts because I felt like a horrible burden and always in the way and so I though “well no one is even going to notice if I’m gone” but when I heard some words i hadn’t heard in years “I love you” and my mom also said “I will not be alive anymore if you are gone honey” and those words broke my heart and so I stoped and it was hard btw I’m 12 almost 13
I was sent there after community college drove me crazy. Only for a couple of days. It was not a pleasant experience. The room was chilly and the chairs were uncomfortable and the food was icky and I didn’t even bother to shower because I was afraid the water would be cold too. The pillows were wrapped in plastic under the pillowcase just like the orphanage and the nurses would rush in every few hours while I was sleeping to check my blood pressure. I was pushed to take a Zyprexa when I was admitted which turned me into a sludgy pile of lead but I wasn’t made to take any more medications afterwards.
all the clips you showed before you admitted yourself really shows that people can hide what their actually feeling. if i had met you then i wouldn’t have suspected anything was wrong. makes me really sad that i’ve met people that are going through terrible things and are hiding it. truly feel sorry for them and you. i’m glad your doing better now. thank you for sharing this with us ❤️
I'm glad you make vids like these cuz mental health is very under-rated and if this can encourage anyone to seek help, it's effort well spent. Thank you!
As a high schooler who’s dad doesn’t take anxiety or mental health seriously, this helps a lot, you are really gonging to help the world with this video.
Yea I think it definitely helps, as my parents just get mad at me for my mental health, and my therapist considering sending me to a physch ward too, its comforting knowing htey aren't scary
as a twelve year old who's been terrified of asking for help and opening up for over a year, thank you illy. My mental health and my issues has always been mocked and never taken seriously. Thank you illy, you're an amazing person and I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm happy you managed to get through it and recover
Same for me, I’m so scared to talk to anyone. I’ve been mentally shut down by my parents whenever I said something about me feeling depressed or overly-anxious. I still haven’t talked to anyone about how I feel. I mean I did like once or twice to my close friends but they didn’t actually listen to me and used my past trauma against me. I felt so terrible and still do.
I was in that exact same position 11 years ago - I promise it gets better ❤️ I still struggle, but I know myself so much better now and know how to help myself, and thankfully have people around me who are kind and understanding about my struggle. you're a tough cookie, you got this ❤️
You were bullied for being depressed?! Next time someone says something rude to you about that, please tell them that it’s a dangerous, serious, and very real that, and what they’re saying to you is mentally damaging and only making it worse and that their IQ is lower than that of a chipmunk if they think that what they’re doing is acceptable or funny. I’m so sorry no one thinks you deserve help. Everyone does!
I can’t be the only one who’s loved watching illy’s channel turn into such a safe educational place while still keeping that same humor she’s always had in her videos💗
I was involuntarily admitted to a psych ward back in 2012. I had been struggling with severe OCD, but didn't know what it was at the time. I'll never forget the doctor saying "he needs to stay", and crying my eyes out until we got to the actual ward. I was surprised at how nice all the other patients and doctors and nurses were. The night I was admitted was the worst night of my life, but the day I was released was one of the best.
I was admitted involuntarily when I was 12, and I can honestly say that in that terrifying time, the other patients I met there were some of the nicest people I had ever met. Thank you for making this, it will truly help so many people ❤️
It’s so sweet that ppl cared about you not being there! But I am sorry that all you have been through we all understand ♥️ you just remember there are 2 million ppl who look forward to your updates we all ♥️ you sm just remember that.i hope you are better now!😻🫶♥️🌟
I'm currently interning as a therapist at a pediatric psych hospital. This video is so, so important. There are so many kids who need to know it is okay to get help.
I feel weird to ask but would/could you go somewhere even without suicidal thoughts? I am just having problems getting through the day to day and I wonder if this would help?
There are just as many adults that need good nurses and therapists as well. At the mental hospital I went to, adults were treated like infants. And the range of disorders people had and range of ages of everyone didn’t really make for a great experience. I don’t know how other hospitals are, but the one I went to, Shoal Creek, was only good when I was admitted as a teen. Even the nurses know that the way that adults are treated at Shoal Creek is messed up. A nurse I had when I was admitted as a teen, actually warned me *against* going to Shoal Creek when I became an adult. The systems they have in place for adults is just atrocious and I wish we had had better nurses than the ones we got- a lot of them just kind of… I don’t know, I felt kind of talked down to…
@@fellowdawn4191Yes. If your mental illness or temporary condition is greatly impacting your ability to take care of yourself or continue day to day then the ER can let you admit yourself in. Please don't be discouraged if your situation seems somehow less dire than others'. You would never wish this same pain on anyone, so you deserve to be better.
I involuntarily was admitted to a psych ward during middle school, everything that I had buried in my traumas had come up and when I got their all the doctors were so nice and the patients around my age were like me awkward and confused and figuring out the world.
I’m a clinical mental health counseling grad student right now, and I’ll be a therapist in a year. Watching your video made me tear up, especially when you gave evidence that people will miss you when you’re gone. You have such a genuine and insightful way of explaining your story, and it’s really impacted me for the better. Thank you so much for sharing 💖 (And I promise to never be a Susan)
@@mushroomlover479 if you have a passion for it, please do!! I have never felt so proud and excited than when I started grad school and finally got to learn how to help people. I’m seeing my first clients in August, and it feels surreal. I made the decision to do this when I was 11 because I had a wonderful counselor that saved my life. If you genuinely care about the well-being and mental health of others, then I highly encourage you 💗
I love it!, it is a very magically helping, suiting, special and supporting story to hear you tell! ❤ I'm glad you finaly had the courage to tell others about it!!
My best friend in 8th grade was admitted for a week after she'd been talking about wanting to end things. She'd also said she'd rather end it that go to another facility. I'd thought the worst and asked our shared teachers and friends if they'd known anything or had any updates. My friends knew nothing and the teachers said they couldn't talk about it with me, further solidifying my worst case scenario in my head. When she got back I was so relieved I cried and gave her the biggest hug. I think about her and reach out to this day. Someone cares and someone will miss you. Trust me.
this gave me the courage to tell my mom about the thoughts i’ve been having. i just told her, we cried, she hugged me. we’re going to the doctor tomorrow
I wish my mom was like that. Though I don’t know if she will handle me telling her that I have 15 disorders and bad mental health- Hopefully this video gives me courage as well
@@EmptyHeadspace_123 i went to the hospital for a while, got on new medicine, and i got home a couple day ago. i’m feeling a bit better and i feel like everyone in the house is a little more educated on my condition and how i’m not just “sad”.
5:17 you're shitting me. When I was in a ward it was LITERALLY that. Doctors forcing medicine on patients, security "securing" someone having a panic attack by pinning her to the ground and then (literally) throwing her into an isolation room-- BRUH when I got out I was WORSE. I still have freaking nightmares. County of Riverside Mental Health Facility. It was literally a giant room with chairs to sleep on. No activities, no outside time, no private places to retreat to if you had a panic attack. If an argument broke out or anything happened, security used excessive force. I was TERRIFIED the ENTIRE TIME. This was in 2019!!!!! I'm-- I'm genuinely so freaking mad. I've been avoiding reaching out for help because of my experiences.
Oh my god. I hope other patients have recovered or gotten help they needed for the extra unnecessary trauma, and I hope other patients have sued the company who made that horrible place.
Yeah, I'm happy for her that she had a better experience but my experiences with hospitals were much more like what you described. I was in constant fear of violence from other patients with severe anger problems, staff humiliated & degraded other girls in the ward with me... One girl was borderline SA'd by a staff member in front of all of us. There was old blood on one of the walls. Medicine was forced down your throat if you wouldn't take it willingly, even if you were having bad side effects. You would MAYBE be able to see the doctor once a week, even then you had to be lucky. We were not treated like people at all, just crazed animals. I also came out much worse each time, the ward gave extra trauma on top of the trauma I already wasn't getting help for - because they'd rather force meds on ppl than give adequate therapy. As much as I wish for mental wards to be safe & helpful, they are not in many cases, unless you can afford the luxury of a better ward. It's a shame - stories like this, while valid, can make it seem like more horrific ones are just being dramatic. They're not. There is still tons of ableism, malpractice, and abuse in many psych wards, but those who speak up are rarely heard or believed.
this made me cry and realize im not being dramatic, im young and people often tell me im just in a bad mood. we love you illy and we’re all proud of you❤
It makes me feel so much better when people who I don't even know tell me I'm loved. I had an assignment recently and I had to write a descriptive essay. The last paragraph was about me struggling to continue. My teacher made comment on the assignment saying that this was one of the best assignment he had ever read. He said it not only was a good story but really portrayed how I view the world. Thank you guys. I mean it.
When I was 14, I was also admitted to one of these beloved hospitals. My experience was okay, but boy were there times I remembered. At one point in my week long vacation, a counselor in a group session ended up venting to US about her divorce and her soon to be ex husband. Very interesting. I'm much better now, and if you're in a place where you don't feel safe, or you're struggling, there is always someone somewhere willing to lend a hand. Please don't be afraid to speak out, carry on, you can do this!
"Seeking help doesn't make you a burden, it doesn't make you an attention seeker, you're not being overdramatic or too sensitive, what you're feeling is real." I'm a young individual who has been told the last 3 things whenever I open up to anyone, and I honestly needed that. Thank you Illy, even if I'm too scared to tell someone that'll really help me, that lifted some of the fear in my mind about venting to others.
Something that our School counselour told me was “You are doing everything you are supposed to.. everything’s gonna be just fine ❤️” I cried, irs okay, you are doing everything you are supposed to ❤️❤️
Here is a quote from Olivia Lutfallah When someone says it's all going to be alright if you need a minute or a hour or a week to scream back at the world you can YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING
@@ykitsmeeWhen i told the school counselor about my problems, she only cared about the test that students take to see how much funding the school gets. Like oh sure you may want to die, but you didn't help get us money.
when u talked about maria, i literally burst into tears. i never realized how badly i want someone like that in my life and i’m so beyond glad you were able to have someone like her as your nurse
I had my own "Maria", and I can safely say that she both saved my life and changed it forever. One of the most incredible people I've ever met and one of my best friends. She died a couple of years ago now, but I still think about her constantly.
When I was younger, I lived near a mental hospital. When I would go out my friends would tell me to be careful, because what if some psycho breaks out? Kids in the yard would tell horror stories about the asylum. It got bad, I was anxious that one-day a maniac will break into my house. I told my dad about it once. He said that mental hospitals are not "insane asylums". That people go there not to be locked up in a padded room, but to be taken care of. He said that someone may go there to get their medicine for insomnia. Insomnia! Not some cannibalistic murderer, but a person unable to sleep. I know that it's not much, but that blew my mind. Thank you, Dad. Thank you Illy for making this video. I burst into tears two times during watching it. I'm currently sick and unable to do anything. This feeling reminds me too much of the time in my life when I had depression. This cry was very much needed. I am proud of you for admitting yourself. And I am proud of all of you, watching this video, who are thinking about admitting yourself, have been admitted or are just struggling but still keep going. You are so strong.
I know so many people who call objects or other people or situations “crazy”, “insane”, “stupid”, etc. It makes me angry because those terms are so stigmatising, especially for people who have been or need to go to psych wards, or people like me with ADHD!
My mom is a former crisis therapist in the ER(currently practicing therapist) and the horror stories about how crappy mental health is treated is insane
At least it’s not the 19th century. Imagine how the psych ward patients from that era must feel hearing someone say a modern psych ward is “crappy”. Stop being dramatic 😂😂😂
@@MM-pv5tp um, eww MM...Your outlook is very dated and lacks modern empathy and understanding. We have come a long long way from early 19th century medical treatment, you could say two centuries have passed, that doesn't mean it still could be improved upon today. Don't mitigated the struggles and improvements of today's mental health care, it's doesn't look great on you.
Bro I remember when I went to a residential mental hospital there was an entire group of people in the town that said we shouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere outside the hospital because we were a danger and would disturb the peace.
illy you are literally so strong and you mean so much to me ☹️💕 your videos always help me, even find things out about myself. i’ve loved you for years and i’m so glad i did and your doing good. don’t ever give up hope, your so brave and i really look up to you ❤
You're embodying the saying "be the change you want to see in the world". This was a very honest video about a subject matter that isn't always given the most positive attention, but BECAUSE of stories like yours and more coming out, it's getting better.
Knowing a fellow creator had grippy sock experiences like me makes me feel so seen and happy that I can relate and more awareness is being brought to how terrible mental illness is portrayed online and in the media - but also makes me sad as someone who knows the level of pain you had to go through to get admitted there. The message in the end made me tear up, wishing you all the love and healing positivity in your life Illy ❤🩹✨
When you said “seeming help doesn’t make you an attention seeker, or overreacting” I genuinely started tearing up. I’ve been convincing myself that I’m overreacting every time I’m depressed or feel anxious, or that people won’t believe me if I said I was going through something. That they’ll just think I want the attention and look down on me. listening to your story has made me feel a lot better about myself. Thank you so much, your such a trooper!! 👍
It's not that people don't believe you. It's that your problems are not as unique as you imagine and deep down you feel guilty seeing other people seemingly handle it with ease. Just so you know, nobody's life is as it appears on the outside.
Doesn't help when your family calls it dramatic to literally not be happy all the time and you've therefore developed an instinct to rather keep your true emotions hidden
the asylum i was in had roommates and it sucked but it wasn’t the worst because I’m always paranoid at night and it feels good to have people in the room with you
My friend committed suicide about a month after this video came out, idk if he watched this video and still did what he did or maybe things could've been different if he had. Regardless he's still gone and I still miss him, I hope this video can help even one person get the help they need. And to anyone who may be comes across this comment and is thinking about harming themselves, we love you. There are people out there who love you and you will be missed and there are ways to get help.
I rarely see comments from people who have known people who committed suicide. This is very important that you wrote this and greatly appreciated. Thanks
As someone who was (involuntarily) admitted into a psych hospital at 8th grade, It’s super nice to see someone to actually talk about Psychiatric Admissions in a serious, respectful, and relatable manner (especially from I look up to). Thank you so much for speaking out, and I hope you’re doing well Illy! I love your content and your animation style! Keep up the good work!! ❤ P.S. I’m in 10th grade now and doing a lot better. I hope anyone else who’s struggling understands they’re not alone no matter what. It will get better. Trust me ❤
I was admitted to a psych ward after suffering from a psychotic episode in undergrad (we later found out that it was caused by medication that I was prescribed). It was a mutual decision between me and my parents to get better. That week and a half caused me to miss an entire semester of college. While I was there, they sedated me with medication because i had trouble sleeping and kept pacing around nervously, thinking that I was going to die. Eventually, they found out that I was suffering from an autoimmune disorder. But I remember my fellow patients being one of the sweetest people ever. They were all trying to get better, just like me. My parents did whatever they could to visit me almost every day. Even a family friend took time out of their day to visit me and see how I was doing. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be where I am now. Yes, I did go back to school and ended up finishing with my graduating class in 7 semesters. I am now in graduate school pursuing my master's in criminal justice. "People will care if you disappear one day. They will notice. They will miss you. More than you will ever know." Thank you for sharing your experience, Illy. And thank you for that saying above. It really rings true for my experience. When I got discharged, the friends I made got together and made a "get well soon" card for me. I think about how they're doing now. I still keep in touch with several of them.
I went without talking to anybody I know other than my mom and dad for like a week because I was sick once and everybody was worried, all my teachers would ask me how I was, if I was okay, what happened, ect.
I have an autoimmune disorder too. What medication were you on, if I may ask? I was on Keppra and I was having those problems too but luckily I was never admitted.
My brother was admitted into an inpatient facility because of suicidal ideation. When I came and visited him, he seemed extremely different. He was laughing nervously and hiding under his blanket. It broke my heart to see him like that. It did save his life though. Now he’s doing much better. The facility he went to was much more modern than the one Illy was talking about, but I’m still glad you brought this to light
As someone who has been in HIC (high intensive care) in a pychiatric hospital over 4 times now (i am 15) I am very glad that this video exists so that more people can understand what its like and that they are not alone and help can be found
As someone who’s been a big fan of Illy for years, I really love how relatable she can be. Sometimes I have panic attacks and sometimes people just say that I’m “weird” or being “dramatic” but Illy made me realize I’m not alone. I’m just very happy how nice she can be and how amazing she is. Thank you Illy . For being a relatable, kind , honest person for me and many other people.
It's so hard to talk about psych ward experience. I was 24, and my oldest daughter was 2, and I felt like I was going to ruin her life by being the crazy mom. One of the other patients was pregnant, and we ended up talking about her anxiety about becoming a mom, and I found that I actually had a lot of answers to her questions, which to me, meant that I was doing a decent job. Like, I didn't know everything, but my kid was happy and healthy. There was a guy who was obsessed with music, too, and I still had an old-school mp3 player instead of an iphone, so I got to keep that. I was able to play music for a bunch of us, and that gave us a lot to talk about. Also, there was the older man with tourettes who was always swearing, but played piano beautifully, and we sorta got used to the undercurrent of swearing and let it wash over us and away, and he was really sweet.
Never related to anything more. thank you for making this. It’s good to see more portrayals of mental hospitals, then just: straight jacket, all white walls, etc. It makes it less scary for people who may be going through things. And well not all mental hospitals are great. I’m so glad you made this.
Yeah I went to one that sucked. They weren’t willing to help me with my needs. They wouldn’t let me have my stuffed animals, they had food that I couldn’t handle eating and I had to scream at the top of my lungs to get out of there. I’m okay now but it still haunts me to this day.
This video reminds me of that audio I heard on instagram , the one where a small boy asks an adult "whats the bravest thing you've ever said?" and the adult says "help , asking for help isn't giving up , it's refusing to give up" This video was amazing and I'm glad you felt safe enough to open up about it and realized that what u went through wasn't shameful or "dark" :)
It’s an animated story based on a book! Idk the name but it’s about a boy, fox, another animal I forget, and a horse. The kid asks the horse what’s the bravest thing, and he responds with help!
i've been admitted to mental hospitals alot. and in my state, they treat there patients like absolute crap but even though they would there was always one staff member who would actually listen. and i just want to say your never alone and dont even have to be ashamed to tell people if went there or not. because what matters is getting the help you need. thats what ive learned over the years though..
I’m a nursing student at a secure forensic psych unit and this video is important af 🙌🏼 we need to continue breaking the stigmas around mental healthcare!!
I'm glad you went to a decent psychiatric hospital. So many I've been to made me worse and I was forced to act okay because no one cared for my well being. It was a maddening experience. I hope things keep getting better for you and thank you for talking about these subjects. It means a lot.
Yes. I've never been to one, but i live in a pretty progressive state and all of my friends who have went have left so much more traumatized. Great that there's more awareness, but the system and institutions themselves can be so. Messed. Up. I'm sorry you've had to go through that as well.
I had the same issue. I was absolutely in a worse state when I was there. I knew the only way out was to fall in line and act like everything was okay, and that I *wasn’t* being treated subhuman. I will loudly proclaim that I went to Shoal Creek in Austin and was treated way better when I was admitted as a teen than when I was admitted as an adult. Even the nurses I had as a teen said not to go to Shoal Creek as an adult.
The same thing happened to me, the thing that caused me to be admitted happened a long time before I had to go there. I hope the ppl I met there are doing ok. I also think it was the unit I was in
thank you for making this. i'm always terrified of psych wards because of mine and many other's experiences, but to know that there's potential for more positive experiences, i feel more willing to try again.
this actually made me burst into tears, in a good way though. i got involuntarily admitted to a really shady and shitty mental hospital when i just got into high school, and it was one of the worst and most traumatic experiences i’ve ever had in my life. seeing somebody else talk about the good and bad parts, talk about how people will care and will miss you, and how scary it is.. it really hit home for me exactly how i felt when i was admitted. thank you, illy. i know you probably won’t read this, but thank you so much.
oml, me too! i thought it would be alright because it was in a major city, but nope 😅 it was super terrifying, especially the people, for me atleast, but im glad im outta there :)
Thank you so much for talking about this. ❤ When I was 7 years old, I was admitted into the mental hospital because my phsyicatrist at the time (who was a really horrible man) couldn't figure out what meds I needed and he threatened to take me away from my mom for no reason (for context, I have autism and was diagnosed at 15 months, and my mom is a single parent). That first hospital visit was truamatizing for me. But the second one (a different hospital) was even more truamatizing for me. I went to mental hospitals on and off until I moved away from my home town and to a different place, where mental health services were way different. I even got off all the psych meds I was on. But then 2020 came along with the pandemic, and I had to go back on psych meds because my mental health went down the gutter. Then in 2021, someone very close to me passed away from the virus. My mental health was so bad that I decided to admit myself into a mental hospital, which I was really scared because of my past experinces with them. This was when I learned that not all mental hospitals were bad and that they were nothing to be afraid of. But that didn't stop me from crying all the time and asking when I could go home. I haven't been to a mental hospital since I was 17, but I'm thankful that you talked about this. This video means a lot to me.
@@illymation thank you so much, seeing that you replied made me tear up a little. I've been watching you for years and some of your music has gotten me through some rough times. You're amazing and I appreciate the support.
This was emotional to watch. When you said "people will miss you" and "seeking help doesn't make you a burden" just got to me This video hits like a bus.
I began tearing up and crying when she said that, just a few days ago I was telling myself ppl wouldnt miss me, and that part made me feel like they would, I love Illyssa for the content they create
Thank you for making this video because I'm 14 and I have been sent to these hospitals multiple times and it's refreshing to finally here some one talk about it for what it is and not for what media makes us believe it is, thankyou❤️
We all really hope you’re doing well. Being young is sometimes a scary thing because a lot feels out of your control, but just please never give up. You will do amazing things and are very important
I was bullied a lot in school and the way people treated me made me feel like if I disappeared, no one would notice or care and I even considered suicide. I'll be 21 this year and my mental health is still a little dodgy but I'm a lot happier now and hearing this story made me smile
I’ve been seriously considering the possibility of admitting myself to a psych ward for a while but I’ve been so scared because I hear people talk about all the terrible things that could happen there, this video really helped me to realize it might not be as bad as I think it will be :)
I just discharged from one less than 2 weeks ago, this video is correct on every level, don't be scared, they will show you nothing but care, even if you get a Susan, just ask for a different nurse, they will make it right, I was in a facility as one of very few vollentary adults and even the people being court ordered or any other reason where nice and kind, don't be afraid, it's just like a normal hospital with staff that care
If you go, I hope it helps. My one experience with psych wards is negative, but this video made me realize that it can be positive. I wish you the best of luck, and that you are doing well after, if you go. Just know that what ever you’re going through, you’re not alone.
I've never been in a psychiatric hospital, but I've dealt with incredible mental agony. When you said that people would miss anyone who disappeared, I felt that. A lot of people don't realize I'm mentally ill until I tell them, so for those of you who are struggling, even if it looks like the rest of us are leading perfect lives, we are struggling, and you're not alone.
same. I cried 5 times yesterday, it was only one time the boys noticed, (none of the girls) and when i finally opened up to my boy best friend, he seemed suprised. Then we talked. I felt so much better. But I don't trust one single girl. Beacuse all of the girl friends and best friends i had, just left me for someone else. ... Welp, life is good right?
Illy, one of my friends was admitted to a psych ward last year, I’m in high school, and I want you to know that we loved and supported them through it all. Things are changing for the better, it’s slow but we’re getting there!
![[#2024MAMA] G-DRAGON - 무제(Untitled, 2014)+POWER+HOME SWEET HOME+뱅뱅뱅+FANTASTIC BABY | Mnet 241123 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ox29z5Nf1Uk/mqdefault.jpg)
When Illy said, "People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know" I actually burst into tears, I really needed to hear that.
Same, I never knew I needed to hear that till now
bro same I cant-
ONG.
We cry together? 😢
Same, it often feels like nobody really cares and like I'm all alone in the universe, but hearing things like this helps. Hope you're doing alright.
This may have been one of your best and most important videos. You’re an incredible person, Illy. ❤
ya
You don’t get to explain 😤
Hello rebecca
I agree, Becca. It must not have been easy for her to talk about this topic, and yet she did. I bet it was a huge weight off her chest, and as a fan, I'm really happy and proud of her. :)
Yea
“Seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you a attention seeker your not being dramatic or over sensitive what your feeling is real its sad and its scary” Really made me burst into tears
You and me both man. You and me both.
🫂
another way to think about it, seeking help when you need it is making other people money so that they can survive
me too 😭
@@very_small_cat Hello.
Hearing that “needing help doesn’t make you an attention seeker” makes me tear up because I’ve felt like an attention seeker all my life even though I know I’m not, it hits hard.
as someone who ended up in the psych ward after a seriously damaging suicide attempt, I thank you, illy. keep spreading your kindness.
edit: thank you all for your concern, i'm doing much better now! remember that you are loved. ❤
Are you ok?
Are you doing better?
How are you doing now?
@@dogeclanleader1NAH ☠️
Yo how'd u do it??
“seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you an attention seeker. You are not being overdramatic or too sensitive”
thank you, thank you, thank you. Cried through the second half of the video, currently still crying. Thank you
😢 so sorry for you
same
DEEZ NUTZ
@@thanos7338 leave
@@thanos7338 cringe
I lost my little sister in 2020. She was one of the few members in our family that we didn't think we needed to check in on. The "People will notice. People will miss you." line is so, so real
Sorry for your Sister, hope you ok❤❤❤!!!👌👌👌👌👌
I’m so sorry for your lose. I lost a family member not too long ago and I know what it’s like. Hope your doing ok! ❤❤
@@pinewooxdude, what the fuck?!
@@blitzboy2934Most likely some kid just ignore them
My first intake, the nurse kept demanding to know why I was crying the whole time and wouldn't accept "I'm scared" as an answer. Ducking Susan.
“Susan?”
“Susan.”
@@juiciestlemonadeofyoutube ugh, susan.
@@Thesilvermollyysusan.
Damn you Susan!
Mean girls become nurses.
"if i wasnt clinically troubled before i definitely was now" i feel that. i went to a GOOD hospital and i still came out more traumatized than before.
people who liked this are you ok. do you need to talk. do you want a hug or a fist bump or something
I’m so glad I came across this video! I have been struggling for a long time as well with mental health and I recently finished a PHP (partial hospitalization program) and IOP (intensive outpatient program) and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. These mental health programs and facilities are truly life-saving and so misunderstood. Seeing positive media makes it a lot easier for break down the stigma around mental health and taking care of yourself. Much love everyone and I hope this video helped you as much as it helped me. It’s nice to know you aren’t alone. 🫶🏻
me too. best in my area.
ok
@@cityfey No, we liked your Comment cause it was funny.
Using an anonymous account because I don't usually comment, but I just wanted to say thank you. As a 15 year old that has been contemplating suicide for the last year or so, hearing that "people will miss you" made me realize that there is people I have in my life to live for. I've been afraid of telling a therapist or my parents about being suicidal, because I was afraid of being admitted to a psych ward, but after seeing this I might decide to be a little more open with them. Thank you so much
Yes get help if you need it!!! There is always at least one person who will be willing to listen and maybe even help you get help
I know it is difficult, but please get help if you can! Sending lots of love to you 💖
yes i’m 100% sure you have people to live for! like the other comments said, it’s really important to get help, i hope everything goes well for you 💕
In my experience by far the worst part of psych wards (I’ve been in 6 times) is the mind numbing boredom, bring books and/or coloring books
dont tell ur parents or a therapist, thats one of the dumbest things u could do. u dont want to talk to ppl who dont understand and also you'd just be reaffirming stigmas that all young ppl are mentally ill. plus, therapy is way too expensive
I'm a 51-year-old man who struggles with depression and mental health. Your message of "people care about you" brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this.
Sending you lots of hugs and bugs
❤🖤💚🧡💛💙🐛🦋🐜🐝🐞🦗🕷
you got this💕💕💕😊
We love you homie stay strong ❤❤❤
We care about you homie, you got this. Stay strong ♥️
Cry about it grandpa 🤡🤡🤡🤡
I was almost admitted two months ago, currently suffering through the grief of losing my grandpa and trauma from child protective services taking me and my siblings away from my mom for six months because we had roaches. I used to cut and had multiple suicide plans (They don’t know this or I probably would have). The “people will care if you disappear, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know.” Almost made me cry. I’m currently not medicated for my depression and anxiety and waiting for my first therapy appointment in two or three months.
I'm sorry for u
It's been 3 months. Did you get the help you needed? Just curious, and hope you're doing well.
@@lunayoshiI didn’t get the help that I needed.
@@I_love_coffee_8are you doing alright now? i’m sorry that you’ve been through whatever you’ve been through
@@ShinyMagnetonI’ve been doing much better, I’m finally recovering fully.
I hate them being called insane asylums. It makes them seem scary and a horrible place. I had to spend quite a bit of time in a mental health hospital and for the first few weeks, I was terrified because I kept thinking to myself "everyone here is crazy and could lash out at any moment". In reality, they are just like regular hospitals but for people with some issues. No psychopathic cannibals strapped to chairs or screaming people ripping themselves apart. Just a place to help people get better
Tell that to the people who got into a fight there every other day. I've watched way to many feral teenagers get there pants oull down and shot in the ass with a syringe to beleive this. The name is warrented
@@brix-rb9dg yes, people with major issues do go there, but the name makes it seem like the people that go there are crazy. I went there stressing that maybe I was insane which makes you worse. But most of the people I ended up meeting were at least nice. The hospital I was at wasn't exactly as nice in the video as we were separated a lot more, but it's not as scary as the word asylum suggests
tbh, some have pretty nice things. Heard they have rooms that have powerful lamps. People with severe winterdepression can sit there for a short while and it is like having an instant summer :) Some have nice gardens or activities.
Though they are less nice than that retirement home with hot tubs or residential kittens.
@@MissMoontree the one I went to wasn't as nice because it was basically a few repurposed hospital rooms
@@bopply2616 Actually, the word "asylum" originally means essentially a place to find peace and safety. People fleeing from a country can seek asylum in a safer place, for instance. It's a bit of a shame that it's taken on a less friendly connotation lately. I wonder if Batman (and the whole Arkham asylum thing) is partially to blame? Cause really, it should be such a nice term. I mean minus the "insane" part anyways, that's not helping anyone :/
i was sent to a mental hospital, and all of the patients were really nice. The nurses, however, clearly viewed us as sick and hardly even people. I wasnt clearly struggling, and one of the nurses looked at me and said 'it must be hard to be surrounded by all this sickness.' When I was interviewing for partial the lady who was interviewing me treated me like a child. People really dont understand that a lot of the times its not the patients who are the scariest part about psych wards.
definitely. I think I'm lucky to not have had a completely terrible experience. but it wasn't easy and I have a lot of mixed feeling about it to this day. trauma, but also feeling like its what I needed. and 100%- the other patients were I think what helped me the most
“it must be hard surrounded by all this sickness.” That statement will cause me to hunt whoever said it almost immediately which is not a good thing one because of the place I would be in like a metal hospital, two will give the staff justification to not view or treat me as human I identify as part wolf so people would probably already view me as subhuman hehe. I’m glad you had a good experience.
@BenthewildchildE750 haha what the fuck
@@helixxia9320 I can see why you have that reaction
@@helixxia9320 I miss spoke maybe not hurt but definitely hurt with words. I know still a bad reaction.
My great grandmother had schizophrenia and she spent her life in and out of hospitals. She had horrible treatment, and our family believes my great aunt was fathered not by my great-grandfather, but a worker at one of the hospitals. She was a wonderful woman according to my mum, not violent just troubled. She just heard voices, she loved her family. She passed when I was a baby, but I’ve been told her funny stories my whole life. I’m proud to be her relative, what a strong woman she was and how the cards she was dealt were so cruel.
She spent her last 10 years of life hospital free, comfortable and surrounded by family.
I’ve been quite depressed lately, and I remind myself of how my family has fought through mental health again and again. She found happiness, and so can I. No shame in being admitted, but I know there’s strength within me.
This made me cry, I'm glad you found hope in her story and her relation to you 🧡
As a person with a mild type of schitzophrenia im glad she had her last years in comfort and love. your family sounds so kind and warm❤️
Keep like this :)
In Brazil, there was a "holocaust" that happened in Barbacena's psych ward. In my city there is a ward thats was suposedly reformed and humanized but recently, in 2010 or so, a man was found locked in a cage in the underground (treated in animal like conditions) .One of my relatives received shock "therapy" and was held in one of those institutions back in the 70s, he just had lithium deficiency.
As someone who’s also been admitted several times, it’s very comforting in a strange way to know that I am not alone and that one of my favorite RUclipsrs has a similar experience to me. I know this must be extremely difficult to talk about, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and making so many people feel less alone. This feels very de-stigmatizing and again, (I know I sound like a broken record,) thank you, you amazing person!
💜
I’ve also been admitted a couple of times and it’s nice that it’s talked about in a better way now :)
Like all of your videos, you did not have to share this. The fact you did is incredible.
I am glad you are still here, and wish you all the best no matter where your life takes you Illy.
I was put into one because I was having a panic attack at school and some stupid day one police officer called a ambulance and I was put in my opinion unrighteously and it was horrible I peed on a man but as of now I’m so happy and much better I was supposedly need it too stay for a month but my father was so stressed out he had a seizure and I left along with him
Do you know if youve swallowed it yet? Or did you swallow a screwdriver instead?
As a nurse that works mainly in the adolescent unit of a psychiatric hospital, I am really glad that a video like this exists. So many of the kids that come in could definitely benefit by seeing and hearing other's stories and seeing that they're not alone in their experiences.
if they have TV time maybe this would be good for them!
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS AMEN 😇🦋😇
I have a question. I'm a teen and was thinking of becoming a nurse there. Idk if this is rude but do you get payed well? Do you enjoy your job? Have you ever been "unsuccessful" ?
I went once, and I spent the entire time scared and confused. I didn't get any treatment because I didn't understand how "locking me up" was supposed to help me. I then decided to never express any suicidal ideations from then on.
In my experience, hearing other people who is in a similar situation as one self, is the best part of therapy.
Hey Illy! I’m currently 12 and have been admitted to a mental hospital twice. It really has been damaging to tell people but this video really made me realize that needing help isn’t something to be ashamed of. Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it.❤
i hope youre doing a bit better now !
hope you are doing ok!
I hope you’re doing well
I hope the leaves crunch just right and the netflix logo hits the precise corner of the screen for you
Why?
I had to be in the hospital for 2 days and missed lots of school(2 months) because of the fevers that my mom just had me go, i was surprised when people asked where i was trust me, people will miss you! Coming from your crohns girly
Speaking as someone from Bangladesh, a third world country, this is something we so desperately need. But we're stuck in the (in the American context) 1950s when in comes to mental healthcare. Just knowing that this type of acceptance exists somewhere on this planet is immensely helpful. Sending this to all my depressed friends. ♥️
yeah, some as a middle eastern. mental health in asia has a loooong way to go
im bangladeshi :)
haha im from south asia as well, mental healthcare is so very underdeveloped
I hope your country can get good mental Healthcare in the near future, the one thing everyone should be able to get is adequate and accessible mental Healthcare without persecution or judgment. My country still has so far to go in getting great mental Healthcare, but I bet most people here would come to appreciate how incredible our system is compared to the developing world
Same here in Algeria (North africa)
From what I've heard about my cousin, who became depressed and even wandered on the streets for months before his family put him in a psychward, most stories about psychwards are horror stories that people use to gaslight you into thinking that "no" you don't need help.
They also often bring faith and laziness into the mix??? Like how do you link me suspecting I have ADHD and depression with my relationship with faith and Allah? WTF.
Like the stigma around it made it so hard. My mom doesn't believe what I'm going through is real and the fact that I need a psychiatrist not a psychologist (the one I went to were terrible).
Like I went to a psychiatrist once and my mom refused to take me back for the second session where we were supposed to assess things.
Anyway, I hope y'all survive what you're going through.
Great vid Illy!
This is such a great video and it helps so much. Thanks illy!
Oh my, it's the all powerful swoozie
I agree, this really helped me
This video is a W
Yep fr it was quite crazy!!!!!!
“People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know”
That was everything I needed to hear, thank you illy
Same here, it actually made me cry a little. I think I really needed someone to say that
nope
No one really cares, you are just lying to yourself. You are just a burden! Stop seeking to guilt people into your BS.
that is something i really wish i didnt know
This is actually not true because if I was gone today others including yourself will movery, my family might care and they move on without me through time but it doesn't mean they won't miss me. It's those who have known you your entire life who will miss you when your gone because after them you have nobody left.
I personally love seeing the "988" posters in the video and the links. my grandfather started this project and my family and I helped. we put an insane amount of work and I'm glad it paid off.
Everyone let’s all give a round of applause to illy for being brave ans strong to talk about her experiences with a psych ward.
And to everyone else talking about their experiences,you are strong too,and we are happy to see you strong
👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Thank you thank you!!!
👏 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Literally crying because I was just in the situation where I was terrified to be admitted into the pych ward. I was and still am in the lowest point in my life and my parents thought it would be best to be evaluated. It's a difficult thing to admit, that you need help but it's better to get the help than for it to be too late
I’ve always been terrified of being admitted, but this video made it seem a lot less scary :) ❤
Best wishes for you. I hope your life gets happier soon.
It will be okay either way. I've been admitted and the very beginning is always the scariest. Some people might be jerks, but you just understand each other, and it feels nice. Same thing with the staff. There are the most amazing nurses along with the not so great ones. A big part of my recovery is finding the red balloons. All the depression and anxiety and other trauma is yoir white elephant, and everyone's gonna tell you to not focus on it. But it's alot easier to find a red Ballon to focus on instead.
You are not alone
Hoo boy, nearly 40 year old here who was admitted to the psych ward at 17 and 23. Man, this is relatable! Dealt with a ton of depression and anxiety stuff that sent me to very bad places, and both times really helped me get back on track. And people will notice that you’re gone. No one is an island. This society is just geared to make it feel that way.
Wah! 😲 Wow you’re right! But it’s in a good way. Got to say that, in the early-mid 2000’s the fear of what people thought about mental health issues was like a storm cloud hovering over you. So glad that people are more honest with themselves!
I want to say, recently one of my closest friends had to go to the mental hospital. I still miss them (their still alive). The other day i checked up one them. And they responded. I almost cried. People will miss you.
I'm a counseling intern at a psych hospital. Genuinely thank you for trying to break the stigma. More people need to be like you. This was extremely brave. Another banger as always.
Hey sorry if this is weird, but can I ask what degree you got to intern at a psych hospital? I’m only in my first year of a Bachelors of Arts psych study, but I feel like I don’t have much direction rn
@sopgiav yeah no problem! I'm in my first intern class for my masters in counseling degree. I got my bachelors in psychology as well so thats a good path to the clinical route if that's what you wanna do. Still got a year until I get my license and degree though.
are you a mariah or a susan
Get fired
As a med student who's aiming to be a psychiatrist, thank you for speaking up about this. There's still so much stigma around mental health and seeking help to the point I've heard multiple times that I'm wasting my potential by deciding to pursue the mental health branch as if it's any less important. I'll stay true to my dreams and help as much people as I possibly can. I want to give back and take care of others and I can't stress enough how important and crucial is mental health
I agree and thank you people like you are the reason people can see another day ☺️
@@nightmarestar01 thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot 🤍
Future psychologist here. I agree that the stigma around mental health is still strong and it is important to talk about it. If anything, in a world where so many physical issues can be taken care of, people have more time to pay attention to their mental health.
@@nightmarestar01 people who want to *
Thanks you for your work, we need more poeple like you in the world
I remember after my last major suicide attempt, everything about me was physically fine but I didn't know if my body was secretly damaged so I worked up the courage to tell my older brother that I needed to get checked at a hospital to be safe. This led to me admitting to him what I did the night before and of course he told the rest of my family. He takes me to the hospital and there is literally nothing wrong with my body, but I am getting talked with a psychiatrist before being released just to be safe. This is when my father reaches the hospital and enters during the talk. He takes over the conversation to scream "If there is really something wrong with you, we will put you in an asylum till you are normal again. Is that what you want? Us to leave you there if you are depressed? Or is there really nothing wrong with you?". The psychiatrist had to ask him to leave the room. I don't tell them about this stuff anymore.
A very similar thing happened to me almost exactly 4 years ago, and I've been dealing with my mental health alone since then. I'm not gonna pretend that I know exactly what you're dealing with but I hope you know you're not on your own. Shit sucks.
christ. you didn't deserve that. what the fuck
Is your mom the same way? 💔😔
I’m so sorry. Having a family that lacks understanding and doesn’t give the support you need is an awful thing. I hope you’re doing okay now.
I get how you feel man, I'm in a similar situation with my mom, she's not the person I feel safe around and always says stuff like that to me too. Just know, your not in this alone.
I went to western psych and got the help i needed❤ you are never alone. Someone will always care about you.
I work as a mental health tech and stribe to be a “Maria” every single day. It makes me so happy when adults who were once admitted recognize the distinction between the Susan’s and are thankful for the work we do. It’s definitely an “underpaid” position, but it’s the most gratifying and fulfilling job I have ever worked. I was admitted and I have struggled with depression since I was 17, and being able to give back to the community that once saved my life means the literal world to me. Thank you Illy🧡
I’m wanting to do the same thing. I do need to look into how one gets too work as a I guess nurse for a psych ward
People with depression don’t deserve to go to a psych ward. It’s like going to the ER for a cold. Reserve psych wards for schizophrenics and mania patients.
@@MM-pv5tp if you had a chronic lung or immune condition you might very well need to go to the ER as the result of a cold. Life-saving medical care isn’t something people have to “deserve”, it’s just a right. Even if depression wasn’t life-threatening, as it often is, people in pain would still have the right to receive treatment. What you’ve said here is indefensible.
@@WhatWouldLubitschDo If you had a chronic lung condition and you could die at any moment, then you absolutely should go to the ER, but not if you just have a common cold. Depression is not immediately life threatening since it can’t make you kill people or yourself, and even if you do, it’s almost always when you’ve had it for a really long time and you’ve reached your breaking point. So why won’t you go to therapy before you reach that point. Seriously, going to a psych ward for depression is like going to the ER for a cold, and it’s disrespectful to schizophrenics and mania patients who are actually in crisis, whose lives are actually on the line, and need immediate care.
@@MM-pv5tp you have no understanding of mental health conditions, or of reality, and the misinformation you’re spewing is extremely dangerous.
I work with vulnerable teenagers and I will try to share this video around to those who can benefit from it. I went to a clinic myself in 2019 it was more of a personality disorder treatment of 9 months but I understand the shame. The whole "People will miss you when you're gone" part really hit me. Thank you for this video.
so did you go to residential? and for a pd? that's something i've been told could happen with me, was it helpful? only answer if you're comfortable of course
@@lemocide well I'm from the Netherlands so I'm not sure what residential means. I took a train there on sunday and stayed till Thursday, 4pm. And that for 9 months. It was more like fulltime group therapy with a lot of rules. It helped a lot! Unfortunately they had to close the whole place down after being a psych place since the early 1900's very sad. Mental health care funding has been declining for years now :(
As a person who's mother has threatened to send them multiple times... Thank you. My mental health is often never taken seriously, and 'sending me away' is used as a threat rather than an option to help me. You are an amazing person, Illy!
Same
Same, I vividly remember her telling me “that’s where crazies go. It won’t be good for you.”. It discouraged me from ever talking about this again.
Same. My parents think I’m crazy because I have weird flashbacks of stuff and sometimes I question myself in very scary ways.
Y'all should see about getting into free online therapy. A school counselor or city resource worker should be able to direct you.
Dang, I never had to go through that. I’ll never truest know what that feels like. Hope y’all have wonderful lives!!
4:48 thats why I like sam and colby because if ghosts do exist they try their best to talk to them, find out the real story, and help if it's possible.
Illy, thank you for making this.
I'm 13 and I've been admitted too a psyche ward twice. I don't think I can explain how much seeing one of my favorite animators talk about this kind of experience means to me.
Same im also 13 and have been to a psych word twice it is very difficult
L
@@Goodstitching really?
i am also thirteen i've been admitted once but i can agree with you
@@Goodstitching can you just like not?
I went to a psych ward and it was upsetting but it wasn’t an awful experience. It’s nothing like the movies or video games. I just read books, colored and talked to people. I was scared that my fiancé wouldn’t stay with me because who wants a crazy girl but he didn’t care! We really need to destroy the idea that psych wards and patients are dangerous monsters.
A partner that stays by your side during those trying times, thats how you know you've made a good choice. Your partner is a keeper for sure!
"People will care if you disappear one day." That line instantly brought me to tears. Didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for being brave!
I’m sorry and I wish that u seek help for whatever ur going through. Remember u aren’t a burden. U deserve love just as much as anyone else does ❤️🩹
Please hold on, things will get better I promise.
When she said “people with care if you disappear one day” made me cry because every time I have su1c1d4l thoughts I always tell myself no one will notice I disappear so I’m so happy she said that
as a 11 year old, who always thought that my problems are "too small" and that "im gonna be a burden", this video has helped me a bunch, youre like a therapist. Thanks you, Illy
"people will notice if you dissapear one day, they will notice, they will care" and "people care about you" has made me cry, Thank you again, Illy
❤
id recommend going to a professional :)
@@elka1127 same
I'm the same age, and I've always felt the exact same way. It really is tough sometimes. You got this everyone ♡
I was admitted into a mental hospital due to self-harm. My mom suddenly passed away from liver cancer in February this year. I initially coped with it through music, videogames, and the occasional cry. It was a rollercoaster of grief. The real bout of depression hit me like a truck in April. It was difficult getting any schoolwork done. I felt uneasy as this one big piece to my life remained empty. One day, I tried to help with how I felt by going outside and walking to my local sushi bar to treat myself. It was a great day. Only the next day on the bus ride home, I planned to take a knife to my arms and legs. I did just that when I got to my room. My dad noticed what I was doing. After a brief conversation, he drove me 20 minutes to the nearest mental hospital.
I was there for a week. Honestly, it was the best week of my entire year. At first though, it was scary. I was still so shooken up. I felt uneasy in that sterile environment, but over time, it started to feel like home. I got used to sleeping on an uncomfortable 5" thick foam mattress with the door open and nurses checking on everyone every 15 minutes. The food was delicious. We did art together. We sat at a table to discuss various mental health related topics. My therapist there even recommended this book called "The Happiness Trap." I highly recommend it. I've learned some very good coping skills through that book and during my stay. Hell, I even bought my own copy.
Everyone there was super sweet. Even the other patients there were awesome. I made five friends during my stay. We had a blast. There was one time we were playing duck-duck-goose in the enclosed outdoor space on the basketball field. We were wearing those same non-slip socks as you described except they ripped super easily. From running in circles during that game, we tripped, ripped our socks, and almost sprained our ankles. When anyone did get hurt, we all laughed it off. Such good times. What was cool was the nurses allowed us to turn on the TV during free time and let us choose what to watch or listen to. I had dibs on the remote a lot of the time and played barber beats and jazz from the Yakuza OST. I don't know how the other patients put up with me for so long, lol.
Hands-down, that hospital was one of the best experiences ever. I came out of that place a changed young woman. Unfortunately, however, there have been some stories in circulation about bad experiences in similar facilities. So if anyone has to get into a mental hospital, I highly recommend you look at the reviews. Thank you for sharing your story, Illy.
It’s so heartwarming to see good stories like yours. It gives me hope for the future. I hope you are doing well still internet stranger, take care!
That is such an inspiring and heartwarming story and I truly hope that you’re doing better… I’m so so so sorry for your loss, bless your heart 💗💗🫶
Yakuza has good music,you did these people a favor lol
Yeah I have been doing self harm and have been thinking suicidal thoughts because I felt like a horrible burden and always in the way and so I though “well no one is even going to notice if I’m gone” but when I heard some words i hadn’t heard in years “I love you” and my mom also said “I will not be alive anymore if you are gone honey” and those words broke my heart and so I stoped and it was hard btw I’m 12 almost 13
I was sent there after community college drove me crazy. Only for a couple of days. It was not a pleasant experience. The room was chilly and the chairs were uncomfortable and the food was icky and I didn’t even bother to shower because I was afraid the water would be cold too. The pillows were wrapped in plastic under the pillowcase just like the orphanage and the nurses would rush in every few hours while I was sleeping to check my blood pressure. I was pushed to take a Zyprexa when I was admitted which turned me into a sludgy pile of lead but I wasn’t made to take any more medications afterwards.
all the clips you showed before you admitted yourself really shows that people can hide what their actually feeling. if i had met you then i wouldn’t have suspected anything was wrong. makes me really sad that i’ve met people that are going through terrible things and are hiding it. truly feel sorry for them and you. i’m glad your doing better now. thank you for sharing this with us ❤️
Hi
I'm glad you make vids like these cuz mental health is very under-rated and if this can encourage anyone to seek help, it's effort well spent. Thank you!
As a high schooler who’s dad doesn’t take anxiety or mental health seriously, this helps a lot, you are really gonging to help the world with this video.
Yea I think it definitely helps, as my parents just get mad at me for my mental health, and my therapist considering sending me to a physch ward too, its comforting knowing htey aren't scary
samr
@@PateintDefinitely
same, but what is "gonging"
@@Mels_Child omg I didn’t even realize 💀😭 it’s meant to say “going” lmao
as a twelve year old who's been terrified of asking for help and opening up for over a year, thank you illy. My mental health and my issues has always been mocked and never taken seriously. Thank you illy, you're an amazing person and I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm happy you managed to get through it and recover
Same for me, I’m so scared to talk to anyone. I’ve been mentally shut down by my parents whenever I said something about me feeling depressed or overly-anxious. I still haven’t talked to anyone about how I feel. I mean I did like once or twice to my close friends but they didn’t actually listen to me and used my past trauma against me. I felt so terrible and still do.
I was in that exact same position 11 years ago - I promise it gets better ❤️ I still struggle, but I know myself so much better now and know how to help myself, and thankfully have people around me who are kind and understanding about my struggle. you're a tough cookie, you got this ❤️
You were bullied for being depressed?! Next time someone says something rude to you about that, please tell them that it’s a dangerous, serious, and very real that, and what they’re saying to you is mentally damaging and only making it worse and that their IQ is lower than that of a chipmunk if they think that what they’re doing is acceptable or funny. I’m so sorry no one thinks you deserve help. Everyone does!
I’ve wanted to ask for help for so long but also been terrified. I hope you can get better
Idk how to ask help. My mom isn’t that smart on mental stuff, she will probably try to help but I just don’t have the nerve to tell her
I can’t be the only one who’s loved watching illy’s channel turn into such a safe educational place while still keeping that same humor she’s always had in her videos💗
ok
Yeah
i don't wanna be that person but her name isn't lily-
@@liIysstuff it’s probably just a typo, they seem to be a regular viewer or they make it sound as though they are
@@antjewhipple3853 i thought it was probably a typo, but i was just saying that in case they actually didn't know.
So much wisdom in this, and there are parts that are just so wholesome ❤ You’re an incredible person, Illy
I was involuntarily admitted to a psych ward back in 2012. I had been struggling with severe OCD, but didn't know what it was at the time. I'll never forget the doctor saying "he needs to stay", and crying my eyes out until we got to the actual ward. I was surprised at how nice all the other patients and doctors and nurses were. The night I was admitted was the worst night of my life, but the day I was released was one of the best.
Hey! I'm happy you're here to share it and hope things get better!
Wishing you all the best❤
I hope you are doing better now.
As a fellow OCD sufferer I understand the nightmare it can create.
@@MemorableEventsVideo I'm doing a lot better now. I hope that you're doing good as well.
I was admitted involuntarily when I was 12, and I can honestly say that in that terrifying time, the other patients I met there were some of the nicest people I had ever met. Thank you for making this, it will truly help so many people ❤️
Try listening to your parents. It prevents stuff like this from happening.
@@CasperInkyMagoo wow, have you ever dealt with mental illness before? This comment is unbelievably insensitive.
Why?
@@CasperInkyMagooIt doesn’t work like that hon
@@CasperInkyMagoo Lol that made me laugh 😂
This is such a powerful video and it’s so relatable
Nice
👍🏻
DO NOT POST ANY REPLY! DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT TIMEBUCKS.
Nice
Nice
It’s so sweet that ppl cared about you not being there! But I am sorry that all you have been through we all understand ♥️ you just remember there are 2 million ppl who look forward to your updates we all ♥️ you sm just remember that.i hope you are better now!😻🫶♥️🌟
I'm currently interning as a therapist at a pediatric psych hospital. This video is so, so important. There are so many kids who need to know it is okay to get help.
Please continue and work hard to make these places better especially for kids. So many come out more traumatized than they were originally
I feel weird to ask but would/could you go somewhere even without suicidal thoughts? I am just having problems getting through the day to day and I wonder if this would help?
There are just as many adults that need good nurses and therapists as well. At the mental hospital I went to, adults were treated like infants. And the range of disorders people had and range of ages of everyone didn’t really make for a great experience. I don’t know how other hospitals are, but the one I went to, Shoal Creek, was only good when I was admitted as a teen. Even the nurses know that the way that adults are treated at Shoal Creek is messed up. A nurse I had when I was admitted as a teen, actually warned me *against* going to Shoal Creek when I became an adult. The systems they have in place for adults is just atrocious and I wish we had had better nurses than the ones we got- a lot of them just kind of… I don’t know, I felt kind of talked down to…
@@animeluchia5405 I'm so sorry you had to go through that!
@@fellowdawn4191Yes. If your mental illness or temporary condition is greatly impacting your ability to take care of yourself or continue day to day then the ER can let you admit yourself in. Please don't be discouraged if your situation seems somehow less dire than others'. You would never wish this same pain on anyone, so you deserve to be better.
I involuntarily was admitted to a psych ward during middle school, everything that I had buried in my traumas had come up and when I got their all the doctors were so nice and the patients around my age were like me awkward and confused and figuring out the world.
I’m a clinical mental health counseling grad student right now, and I’ll be a therapist in a year. Watching your video made me tear up, especially when you gave evidence that people will miss you when you’re gone. You have such a genuine and insightful way of explaining your story, and it’s really impacted me for the better. Thank you so much for sharing 💖
(And I promise to never be a Susan)
Yeah us psych students ourselves HATE Susans
I want to do what you do. Im 18 and going to college for it soon. I teared up too. I want to be a mariah so bad
Ellie is the reason why you went to a mental asylum Because people for ADHD was problem child back then
@@mushroomlover479 if you have a passion for it, please do!! I have never felt so proud and excited than when I started grad school and finally got to learn how to help people. I’m seeing my first clients in August, and it feels surreal. I made the decision to do this when I was 11 because I had a wonderful counselor that saved my life. If you genuinely care about the well-being and mental health of others, then I highly encourage you 💗
You BETTER not be a Susan! I have no _actual_ way of holding you to it, internet stranger, but the sentiment is still there! /lh
I love it!, it is a very magically helping, suiting, special and supporting story to hear you tell! ❤ I'm glad you finaly had the courage to tell others about it!!
My best friend in 8th grade was admitted for a week after she'd been talking about wanting to end things. She'd also said she'd rather end it that go to another facility. I'd thought the worst and asked our shared teachers and friends if they'd known anything or had any updates. My friends knew nothing and the teachers said they couldn't talk about it with me, further solidifying my worst case scenario in my head. When she got back I was so relieved I cried and gave her the biggest hug. I think about her and reach out to this day. Someone cares and someone will miss you. Trust me.
this gave me the courage to tell my mom about the thoughts i’ve been having. i just told her, we cried, she hugged me. we’re going to the doctor tomorrow
omg i hope you get well! good luck!
How did it go?
I wish my mom was like that.
Though I don’t know if she will handle me telling her that I have 15 disorders and bad mental health-
Hopefully this video gives me courage as well
@@EmptyHeadspace_123 i went to the hospital for a while, got on new medicine, and i got home a couple day ago. i’m feeling a bit better and i feel like everyone in the house is a little more educated on my condition and how i’m not just “sad”.
@@disabledrat_ Thats good , hope u dont die.
5:17 you're shitting me. When I was in a ward it was LITERALLY that. Doctors forcing medicine on patients, security "securing" someone having a panic attack by pinning her to the ground and then (literally) throwing her into an isolation room-- BRUH when I got out I was WORSE. I still have freaking nightmares. County of Riverside Mental Health Facility. It was literally a giant room with chairs to sleep on. No activities, no outside time, no private places to retreat to if you had a panic attack. If an argument broke out or anything happened, security used excessive force. I was TERRIFIED the ENTIRE TIME. This was in 2019!!!!! I'm-- I'm genuinely so freaking mad. I've been avoiding reaching out for help because of my experiences.
That's like a fucking prison, Jesus Christ
@@ConstantDerivativesounds worse than a prison, those facilities are around go help people, pineapple’s gotta report this or somethin’ like that
I agree with this . I grew up with this .
Oh my god. I hope other patients have recovered or gotten help they needed for the extra unnecessary trauma, and I hope other patients have sued the company who made that horrible place.
Yeah, I'm happy for her that she had a better experience but my experiences with hospitals were much more like what you described. I was in constant fear of violence from other patients with severe anger problems, staff humiliated & degraded other girls in the ward with me... One girl was borderline SA'd by a staff member in front of all of us. There was old blood on one of the walls. Medicine was forced down your throat if you wouldn't take it willingly, even if you were having bad side effects. You would MAYBE be able to see the doctor once a week, even then you had to be lucky. We were not treated like people at all, just crazed animals. I also came out much worse each time, the ward gave extra trauma on top of the trauma I already wasn't getting help for - because they'd rather force meds on ppl than give adequate therapy. As much as I wish for mental wards to be safe & helpful, they are not in many cases, unless you can afford the luxury of a better ward.
It's a shame - stories like this, while valid, can make it seem like more horrific ones are just being dramatic. They're not. There is still tons of ableism, malpractice, and abuse in many psych wards, but those who speak up are rarely heard or believed.
Im really glad to follow someone like you ❤
this made me cry and realize im not being dramatic, im young and people often tell me im just in a bad mood. we love you illy and we’re all proud of you❤
We’re proud of you too, dont forget that :)
People can’t decide how you feel, you know you the best🫶🏼
Stop,,,, this made cry all over again,, you are so sweet..
It makes me feel so much better when people who I don't even know tell me I'm loved. I had an assignment recently and I had to write a descriptive essay. The last paragraph was about me struggling to continue. My teacher made comment on the assignment saying that this was one of the best assignment he had ever read. He said it not only was a good story but really portrayed how I view the world. Thank you guys. I mean it.
The West is going though a big mental health crisis, you're not alone. We are all going through our own struggles.
When I was 14, I was also admitted to one of these beloved hospitals. My experience was okay, but boy were there times I remembered. At one point in my week long vacation, a counselor in a group session ended up venting to US about her divorce and her soon to be ex husband. Very interesting. I'm much better now, and if you're in a place where you don't feel safe, or you're struggling, there is always someone somewhere willing to lend a hand. Please don't be afraid to speak out, carry on, you can do this!
hi!
@@notmike6602 Hello! How are you today?
"Seeking help doesn't make you a burden, it doesn't make you an attention seeker, you're not being overdramatic or too sensitive, what you're feeling is real." I'm a young individual who has been told the last 3 things whenever I open up to anyone, and I honestly needed that. Thank you Illy, even if I'm too scared to tell someone that'll really help me, that lifted some of the fear in my mind about venting to others.
Something that our School counselour told me was “You are doing everything you are supposed to.. everything’s gonna be just fine ❤️”
I cried, irs okay, you are doing everything you are supposed to ❤️❤️
Here is a quote from Olivia Lutfallah
When someone says it's all going to be alright if you need a minute or a hour or a week to scream back at the world you can
YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING
@@ykitsmeeWhen i told the school counselor about my problems, she only cared about the test that students take to see how much funding the school gets. Like oh sure you may want to die, but you didn't help get us money.
0:19 “half of us are GAY Susan 😒”
Im lesbai- Im actually bi
@@Smokey_jam ok?
when u talked about maria, i literally burst into tears. i never realized how badly i want someone like that in my life and i’m so beyond glad you were able to have someone like her as your nurse
aww this makes me want to go into psych as a nurse more than anything. it would mean the world to me to make a difference like that
*Hugs*
I wish you weren’t someone online so I could hug you and let you vent without having anyone who wants to hear it
I had my own "Maria", and I can safely say that she both saved my life and changed it forever. One of the most incredible people I've ever met and one of my best friends. She died a couple of years ago now, but I still think about her constantly.
same omg same
When I was younger, I lived near a mental hospital. When I would go out my friends would tell me to be careful, because what if some psycho breaks out? Kids in the yard would tell horror stories about the asylum. It got bad, I was anxious that one-day a maniac will break into my house. I told my dad about it once. He said that mental hospitals are not "insane asylums". That people go there not to be locked up in a padded room, but to be taken care of. He said that someone may go there to get their medicine for insomnia. Insomnia! Not some cannibalistic murderer, but a person unable to sleep. I know that it's not much, but that blew my mind. Thank you, Dad. Thank you Illy for making this video. I burst into tears two times during watching it. I'm currently sick and unable to do anything. This feeling reminds me too much of the time in my life when I had depression. This cry was very much needed. I am proud of you for admitting yourself. And I am proud of all of you, watching this video, who are thinking about admitting yourself, have been admitted or are just struggling but still keep going. You are so strong.
you are so so strong too
I know so many people who call objects or other people or situations “crazy”, “insane”, “stupid”, etc. It makes me angry because those terms are so stigmatising, especially for people who have been or need to go to psych wards, or people like me with ADHD!
that's crazy. you typed a whole paragraph. i'm impressed.
@@ThePeriodicTableOfElements thank you :)
@@doritosrbest3769 I try to be nice! No problem man.
My mom is a former crisis therapist in the ER(currently practicing therapist) and the horror stories about how crappy mental health is treated is insane
At least it’s not the 19th century. Imagine how the psych ward patients from that era must feel hearing someone say a modern psych ward is “crappy”. Stop being dramatic 😂😂😂
@@MM-pv5tp um, eww MM...Your outlook is very dated and lacks modern empathy and understanding. We have come a long long way from early 19th century medical treatment, you could say two centuries have passed, that doesn't mean it still could be improved upon today. Don't mitigated the struggles and improvements of today's mental health care, it's doesn't look great on you.
@@MM-pv5tp, thanks for being an example of what not to be and do
@@MM-pv5tp What the hell is wrong with you? Mental hospitals are the holocaust. It never stopped.
Bro I remember when I went to a residential mental hospital there was an entire group of people in the town that said we shouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere outside the hospital because we were a danger and would disturb the peace.
illy you are literally so strong and you mean so much to me ☹️💕 your videos always help me, even find things out about myself. i’ve loved you for years and i’m so glad i did and your doing good. don’t ever give up hope, your so brave and i really look up to you ❤
she aint that strong, calls critization bullying
You're embodying the saying "be the change you want to see in the world". This was a very honest video about a subject matter that isn't always given the most positive attention, but BECAUSE of stories like yours and more coming out, it's getting better.
Knowing a fellow creator had grippy sock experiences like me makes me feel so seen and happy that I can relate and more awareness is being brought to how terrible mental illness is portrayed online and in the media - but also makes me sad as someone who knows the level of pain you had to go through to get admitted there. The message in the end made me tear up, wishing you all the love and healing positivity in your life Illy ❤🩹✨
i couldnt agree more Hono :)
Agreed 100%!!!
I’m not a creator but I have had the grippy sock experience 7 times
I just got pair of grippy socks, and they are so comfortable
that’s the point
If i understood correctly, the point of the video is to de-stigmatize mental help, which starts with sharing your own story
When you said “seeming help doesn’t make you an attention seeker, or overreacting” I genuinely started tearing up. I’ve been convincing myself that I’m overreacting every time I’m depressed or feel anxious, or that people won’t believe me if I said I was going through something. That they’ll just think I want the attention and look down on me. listening to your story has made me feel a lot better about myself. Thank you so much, your such a trooper!! 👍
It's not that people don't believe you. It's that your problems are not as unique as you imagine and deep down you feel guilty seeing other people seemingly handle it with ease.
Just so you know, nobody's life is as it appears on the outside.
Dude same 😭
Doesn't help when your family calls it dramatic to literally not be happy all the time and you've therefore developed an instinct to rather keep your true emotions hidden
Same
Stay strong, and talk to people! But the right kind of ppl, it really helps.
the asylum i was in had roommates and it sucked but it wasn’t the worst because I’m always paranoid at night and it feels good to have people in the room with you
My friend committed suicide about a month after this video came out, idk if he watched this video and still did what he did or maybe things could've been different if he had. Regardless he's still gone and I still miss him, I hope this video can help even one person get the help they need.
And to anyone who may be comes across this comment and is thinking about harming themselves, we love you. There are people out there who love you and you will be missed and there are ways to get help.
I‘m Sorry For your Loss,I hope You and His Family Are Ok.
Rip.Your Friend🕊️🤍
I’m so so sorry for you I’m sure that must be heartbreaking 💔
I rarely see comments from people who have known people who committed suicide. This is very important that you wrote this and greatly appreciated. Thanks
we have to go on for those that couldn't.
I'm sorry for your loss. 😟
As someone who was (involuntarily) admitted into a psych hospital at 8th grade, It’s super nice to see someone to actually talk about Psychiatric Admissions in a serious, respectful, and relatable manner (especially from I look up to). Thank you so much for speaking out, and I hope you’re doing well Illy! I love your content and your animation style! Keep up the good work!! ❤
P.S. I’m in 10th grade now and doing a lot better. I hope anyone else who’s struggling understands they’re not alone no matter what. It will get better. Trust me ❤
glad your doing better
Glad you’re doing a lot better now hope you keep it up
I was admitted to a psych ward after suffering from a psychotic episode in undergrad (we later found out that it was caused by medication that I was prescribed). It was a mutual decision between me and my parents to get better.
That week and a half caused me to miss an entire semester of college. While I was there, they sedated me with medication because i had trouble sleeping and kept pacing around nervously, thinking that I was going to die. Eventually, they found out that I was suffering from an autoimmune disorder. But I remember my fellow patients being one of the sweetest people ever. They were all trying to get better, just like me.
My parents did whatever they could to visit me almost every day. Even a family friend took time out of their day to visit me and see how I was doing. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be where I am now.
Yes, I did go back to school and ended up finishing with my graduating class in 7 semesters. I am now in graduate school pursuing my master's in criminal justice.
"People will care if you disappear one day. They will notice. They will miss you. More than you will ever know."
Thank you for sharing your experience, Illy. And thank you for that saying above.
It really rings true for my experience. When I got discharged, the friends I made got together and made a "get well soon" card for me. I think about how they're doing now. I still keep in touch with several of them.
I went without talking to anybody I know other than my mom and dad for like a week because I was sick once and everybody was worried, all my teachers would ask me how I was, if I was okay, what happened, ect.
I have an autoimmune disorder too. What medication were you on, if I may ask? I was on Keppra and I was having those problems too but luckily I was never admitted.
@@CrystalKier I'm currently on Levothyroxine. I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, an autoimmune disorder where my immune system attacks my thyroid.
@NerdzLikeTheCandy Oh, I'm taking Trileptal now and I have SLE Lupus
Im so glad people are talking about their experiences inside. We all have so many differences in our expierences inside
My brother was admitted into an inpatient facility because of suicidal ideation. When I came and visited him, he seemed extremely different. He was laughing nervously and hiding under his blanket. It broke my heart to see him like that. It did save his life though. Now he’s doing much better. The facility he went to was much more modern than the one Illy was talking about, but I’m still glad you brought this to light
As someone who has been in HIC (high intensive care) in a pychiatric hospital over 4 times now (i am 15) I am very glad that this video exists so that more people can understand what its like and that they are not alone and help can be found
Hi-c fruit juice
lily ?
As someone who’s been a big fan of Illy for years, I really love how relatable she can be. Sometimes I have panic attacks and sometimes people just say that I’m “weird” or being “dramatic” but Illy made me realize I’m not alone. I’m just very happy how nice she can be and how amazing she is. Thank you Illy . For being a relatable, kind , honest person for me and many other people.
I’m glad you got the chance and literal BALLS to post this about your life and mental health that I don’t know shit about.
It's so hard to talk about psych ward experience. I was 24, and my oldest daughter was 2, and I felt like I was going to ruin her life by being the crazy mom. One of the other patients was pregnant, and we ended up talking about her anxiety about becoming a mom, and I found that I actually had a lot of answers to her questions, which to me, meant that I was doing a decent job. Like, I didn't know everything, but my kid was happy and healthy. There was a guy who was obsessed with music, too, and I still had an old-school mp3 player instead of an iphone, so I got to keep that. I was able to play music for a bunch of us, and that gave us a lot to talk about. Also, there was the older man with tourettes who was always swearing, but played piano beautifully, and we sorta got used to the undercurrent of swearing and let it wash over us and away, and he was really sweet.
Wow, they all sound like absolutely amazing people and I hope they are doing better now.
Thank you! I wish you and yours, and they and theirs well. ❤
Omg that’s so sweet!🫶🫶🫶
Never related to anything more. thank you for making this. It’s good to see more portrayals of mental hospitals, then just: straight jacket, all white walls, etc.
It makes it less scary for people who may be going through things.
And well not all mental hospitals are great. I’m so glad you made this.
Yeah I went to one that sucked. They weren’t willing to help me with my needs. They wouldn’t let me have my stuffed animals, they had food that I couldn’t handle eating and I had to scream at the top of my lungs to get out of there. I’m okay now but it still haunts me to this day.
This video reminds me of that audio I heard on instagram , the one where a small boy asks an adult "whats the bravest thing you've ever said?" and the adult says "help , asking for help isn't giving up , it's refusing to give up" This video was amazing and I'm glad you felt safe enough to open up about it and realized that what u went through wasn't shameful or "dark" :)
It’s an animated story based on a book! Idk the name but it’s about a boy, fox, another animal I forget, and a horse. The kid asks the horse what’s the bravest thing, and he responds with help!
@@x_dawolfboi_x5452 The other animal was a mole. :)
Wow....
ok
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse; a beautiful book
i've been admitted to mental hospitals alot. and in my state, they treat there patients like absolute crap but even though they would there was always one staff member who would actually listen. and i just want to say your never alone and dont even have to be ashamed to tell people if went there or not. because what matters is getting the help you need. thats what ive learned over the years though..
I’m a nursing student at a secure forensic psych unit and this video is important af 🙌🏼 we need to continue breaking the stigmas around mental healthcare!!
Everyone let's give a round of applause to lily for being brave and strong to talk
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
👏👏👏👏👏
Lily? Who's that? Also 👏👏👏👏👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏
I'm glad you went to a decent psychiatric hospital. So many I've been to made me worse and I was forced to act okay because no one cared for my well being. It was a maddening experience. I hope things keep getting better for you and thank you for talking about these subjects. It means a lot.
Yes. I've never been to one, but i live in a pretty progressive state and all of my friends who have went have left so much more traumatized. Great that there's more awareness, but the system and institutions themselves can be so. Messed. Up. I'm sorry you've had to go through that as well.
I had the same issue. I was absolutely in a worse state when I was there. I knew the only way out was to fall in line and act like everything was okay, and that I *wasn’t* being treated subhuman. I will loudly proclaim that I went to Shoal Creek in Austin and was treated way better when I was admitted as a teen than when I was admitted as an adult. Even the nurses I had as a teen said not to go to Shoal Creek as an adult.
The same thing happened to me, the thing that caused me to be admitted happened a long time before I had to go there. I hope the ppl I met there are doing ok. I also think it was the unit I was in
@@animeluchia5405 Are there any psychiatric facilities in the Austin area that you recommend for adults?
thank you for making this. i'm always terrified of psych wards because of mine and many other's experiences, but to know that there's potential for more positive experiences, i feel more willing to try again.
this actually made me burst into tears, in a good way though. i got involuntarily admitted to a really shady and shitty mental hospital when i just got into high school, and it was one of the worst and most traumatic experiences i’ve ever had in my life. seeing somebody else talk about the good and bad parts, talk about how people will care and will miss you, and how scary it is.. it really hit home for me exactly how i felt when i was admitted. thank you, illy. i know you probably won’t read this, but thank you so much.
oml, me too! i thought it would be alright because it was in a major city, but nope 😅 it was super terrifying, especially the people, for me atleast, but im glad im outta there :)
Lmao, a mental hospital? Traumatic? You must be from the 19th century who went to an insane asylum 😂😂😂
If you're who I think you are, I was literally just thinking about you and how bad your experience was in comparison... I hope you are doing better.
@@candyghost1009 I personally don't remember anyone there, I went in 8th grade and I'm now about to graduate 😅 so it was a very long time ago
@@nadiataylor5056 oh I was replying to the original commenter
Thank you so much for talking about this. ❤ When I was 7 years old, I was admitted into the mental hospital because my phsyicatrist at the time (who was a really horrible man) couldn't figure out what meds I needed and he threatened to take me away from my mom for no reason (for context, I have autism and was diagnosed at 15 months, and my mom is a single parent). That first hospital visit was truamatizing for me. But the second one (a different hospital) was even more truamatizing for me. I went to mental hospitals on and off until I moved away from my home town and to a different place, where mental health services were way different. I even got off all the psych meds I was on. But then 2020 came along with the pandemic, and I had to go back on psych meds because my mental health went down the gutter. Then in 2021, someone very close to me passed away from the virus. My mental health was so bad that I decided to admit myself into a mental hospital, which I was really scared because of my past experinces with them. This was when I learned that not all mental hospitals were bad and that they were nothing to be afraid of. But that didn't stop me from crying all the time and asking when I could go home. I haven't been to a mental hospital since I was 17, but I'm thankful that you talked about this. This video means a lot to me.
This is crazy because I'm actually going to check into inpatient on Monday. I'm really scared but I need help, thank you so much for this.
you can do it!!! im so proud of you! i wish you all the luck and love you need!
:]
( I know you weren’t talking to me but..)
Good luck! Super star You can do this! UwU
Sending love ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤍
@@illymation thank you so much, seeing that you replied made me tear up a little. I've been watching you for years and some of your music has gotten me through some rough times. You're amazing and I appreciate the support.
i wish you the best of luck and ( as a former patient there ) i assure you everything will be okay and its a very supportive and safe place :)
Already tearing up at 9:49 cause never felt that in a long time
This was emotional to watch. When you said "people will miss you" and "seeking help doesn't make you a burden" just got to me
This video hits like a bus.
you know what else hits like a bus?
a bus
@@mrblakeboy1420 lmao
@@mrblakeboy1420 why was this funny to me my humour is broken
I began tearing up and crying when she said that, just a few days ago I was telling myself ppl wouldnt miss me, and that part made me feel like they would, I love Illyssa for the content they create
@@Kiwieden I know people would miss you. Everyone has a purpose in this world including you
Thank you for making this video because I'm 14 and I have been sent to these hospitals multiple times and it's refreshing to finally here some one talk about it for what it is and not for what media makes us believe it is, thankyou❤️
We all really hope you’re doing well. Being young is sometimes a scary thing because a lot feels out of your control, but just please never give up. You will do amazing things and are very important
@@RyanAceLIVE thank-you you and I will never give up, and that's a promise!
I was bullied a lot in school and the way people treated me made me feel like if I disappeared, no one would notice or care and I even considered suicide. I'll be 21 this year and my mental health is still a little dodgy but I'm a lot happier now and hearing this story made me smile
you just gave me so much hope, tysm and I really do hope you're better now :)
@𝕗𝕚𝕫𝕫𝕪 𝕓𝕦𝕫𝕫 thanks. Luckily I was never admitted to a psych ward but I was pretty depressed for most of my school life. I'm a lot better now
I went 3 times the people I’ve met where very kind and helpful it’s a hard time but it’s nice to know there’s help available
I’ve been seriously considering the possibility of admitting myself to a psych ward for a while but I’ve been so scared because I hear people talk about all the terrible things that could happen there, this video really helped me to realize it might not be as bad as I think it will be :)
good luck
I wish you the best
I just discharged from one less than 2 weeks ago, this video is correct on every level, don't be scared, they will show you nothing but care, even if you get a Susan, just ask for a different nurse, they will make it right, I was in a facility as one of very few vollentary adults and even the people being court ordered or any other reason where nice and kind, don't be afraid, it's just like a normal hospital with staff that care
I know youll do great.Just keep your head high you CAN do this.
If you go, I hope it helps. My one experience with psych wards is negative, but this video made me realize that it can be positive. I wish you the best of luck, and that you are doing well after, if you go. Just know that what ever you’re going through, you’re not alone.
I've never been in a psychiatric hospital, but I've dealt with incredible mental agony. When you said that people would miss anyone who disappeared, I felt that. A lot of people don't realize I'm mentally ill until I tell them, so for those of you who are struggling, even if it looks like the rest of us are leading perfect lives, we are struggling, and you're not alone.
same. I cried 5 times yesterday, it was only one time the boys noticed, (none of the girls) and when i finally opened up to my boy best friend, he seemed suprised. Then we talked. I felt so much better. But I don't trust one single girl. Beacuse all of the girl friends and best friends i had, just left me for someone else. ... Welp, life is good right?
Illy, one of my friends was admitted to a psych ward last year, I’m in high school, and I want you to know that we loved and supported them through it all. Things are changing for the better, it’s slow but we’re getting there!
I broke into tears from that ending, I definitely needed to hear that, thank you. ❤