The power of introverts | Susan Cain | TED
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 13 май 2024
- Visit TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.
The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.
Follow TED on Twitter: / tedtalks
Like TED on Facebook: / ted
Subscribe to our channel: / ted
TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives (or the CC BY - NC - ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (www.ted.com/about/our-organiz.... For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at media-requests.ted.com
![T.I., & YoungBoy Never Broke Again - LLOGCLAY [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3sqqBjGByXI/mqdefault.jpg)
Enjoying this talk? You'll love the brand new TED Radio Hour series - Mind, Body, Spirit. Hear TED speakers share their eye-opening ideas on how we think, move, and feel. ruclips.net/p/PL2TjQf2riraLkqqFGxK65JI-leCAxm1eD
no.
@@periodslash😂
@@iE4Xo,
@@DeepakSoni-dp1xj😂
I legit teared up at the conclusion, this was a nice insight.
You know the comment section belongs to introverts when you see paragraphs.
omg this is so true
😂😂😂😂True
lets be honest, only introverts would be interested enough to watch things about introverts
🤣🤣🤣
I can relate myself i always wonder that why my replies used to be so long while chatting with my friends while they reply in only a single line or sentence. I used to get open when i write something but if i have to talk while facing the person i get nervous and doesn't know how to react😊
" We are not antisocial , we are selectively social "
- introverts
right
hey I'm also an arijitian 😅❤
True 👍
Well said
thank you for saying this now some people will understand
Telling an introvert to speak up is as "rude" as telling an extroverted person to shut up!!
This is so true !
Facts
So f true
Facts
Don't steal the comment bro
I deeply appreciate the last message that she delivered in her speech: the introvert, occasionally, should open up their 'suitcase' for others to see because the world needs you and needs the thing you carry
agree
thanks! that's how we should do
Ya i'm really appreciate what she said. So i'll try my best to do it occasionally
yeah and that alone can empower an introvert to go out and make a difference because he is carrying treasures in his suitcase. am inspired here!
It’s not up to others, even well-intentioned others, to suggest what an introvert should or shouldn’t do or whether the world needs them or not (that is the most insulting and condescending load of crap I’ve ever read and you need to apologize for it). Unless you’re an introvert you just wouldn’t get it. Don’t feel the need to judge introverts either.
I assume mostly introverts are watching this when extroverts _need_ to watch it.
They are too busy talking, they don't have time to listen
Actually they do have time to listen....but not to a 19 minutes video
@@penielchery2765 they are just lazy and ignorant
Jane Erstić that’s pretty ironic, calling someone who likes to be social ignorant is in itself ignorant.
Peniel Chery “They are too busy talking, they don’t have time to listen” that was gold
Give an introvert a pen and a few blank pages. And you would realise he is no less louder than an extrovert.
I can't draw anything really to save my life hehe. But I agree. They got other ways to express themselves that don't require them to be the centre of attention.
Damn bro.... I totally relate it...we say we express ourselves without uttering a single word through paint n writing
😍😍😍
Me: *draws my oc doing something stupid* a picture says a thousand words,,,,,
Can someone hand you a Nobel please? I am so introverted i live in my mind. But if someone gave me the chance to express myself without words, they would see i am no less than they.
As an introvert, I have learned how to act like an extrovert if needed: leading meetings, calming down real extroverts, etc. We can learn how to mimic an extrovert, but they can never mimic us. As a teacher and certifying instructors, extroverts can actually scare introverted students of any age. But introverts can modify their behaviors to work with most any student.
I love the last line u said about modification ❤❤
I too learned to act like an introvert to finish grad school but as soon as I was no longer in that environment I soon reverted to being an introvert. Acting like an extrovert is exhausting so is trying to explain being an introvert. Most extroverts largely don't seem to want to understand and are not interested in our 'suitcase'. Being an introvert has a genetic basis so it is difficult to turn that switch off. Great Ted talk.
I too have mastered this!! They can no longer see me, but I can see them… they didn’t even see it coming 😈. It allows me to feel invisible almost!
how do you do that?? That's what I've been wanting to do!!
Introverts pure nightmares:
1) Parties
2)Group Project
3) Speaking in front of class
4) When parents say to "speak up!"
5) Social Gatherings
😂😂😂 It's true. I'm one of them.
that is so true! i was always a „promoted” child in my family. i had to dance on concerts, play the piano in front of people and i had to read poems in front of my family. all these things were the worst to me. like, i do love doing these things for myself but not for other people
6) Competitions and criticism
im an introvert, but im really like to speak in formal forum :)
Nightmares for who? For inauthentic fake people
I don't feel sad when i'm alone. I feel sad when i'm surrounded by people and feel left out.
Aww 🥺
i love being lonely, who needs people anyway?
So true...
So Trueeeeeee
Ikr! It’s the worst
*me trying to speak a little bit during group conversations*
My voice: 🔊🔉🔈🔇
RIGHT💔
Dang that is true 🔥
Me😭
@Jake McKillop i want to suicide
@@sergiusko4327 noo
when someone thinks you're depressed but you're just an introvert.. i know how that feels..
🥲🌹
Really
And I don't know what to answer him
Am both and I give no explainations 😄 cz for either they will try to fix you 😄. Depression can apparently be cured when they say ' think positive' and being introverted can be fixed by saying ' u dont talk much?' 🙄 ( sarcasm)
@@sadia2395 Oh my god, the "You don't talk much, do you?" is SO annoying. Seriously, what do they even expect me to say in response to such a stupid question?
Am both .....
I can see myself through her body gestures and facial expressions , the anxiety for her and the courage and strength she has to stand up there and speak in front of a huge crowd! Bravo! I would most likely get all mixed up and lost my concentration. She’s very valiant and focused!
She had to do some public speaking training for a year to get ready for those kind of events. Even yourself, with a bit of training and practice, you can do it. Been facing that challenge all my life and had to train myself either.
The Beauty with Introverts, they tend to research a lot before going public, many times you would find yourself having immense knowledge on the area you are talking about than your audience and eventually the audience would just have to cheer you up because most of them would be left in awe of admiring your work!
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲❤💗💗💗💗💗
Introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy and anxiety riddled… I just can’t stand most people
I was looking for this comment. I see myself in her, but she does it way better where I wish I could be at some point in my life
i hate it when people say "why are you so quiet". Like i dont know why are you so loud?
Who are you? And how do you know my thoughts so well!!!!
I have a friend exactly like this...
SO TRUE
That makes me laugh so hard because I can relate I’m introverts
Ryt👍👍😅😅
introvert: "IM NOT DEPRESSED DAMMIT!!!"
omg ikr
+Max Li Actually I am an introvert and depressed I take meds for it. lol
+Terron Miles I think this person was saying that not all introverts are depressed
OMG I know! everyone I know aaaaalways asks me if I'm depressed and if I'm ok when they see me. NO, I am not!
exactly
As a med school student and introvert, this video was really helpful. There’s been countless times where I’ve questioned myself why am I even trying to pursue a career where only extroverts can succeed, but I also can’t imagine myself doing anything else. Thank you for helping me realize that being an introvert is not an obstacle for what I want to achieve, even if the world wants me to believe it.
Introverted doctors are the best. They listen!
I cant relate to youu! 💯
I'm in a similar situation. How are you doing?
@@fruitypopwhickle6806 hi stranger! I’m doing better than the day I wrote that, working on my social skills but also accepting who I am and listening less to what people say (it’s hard but needed). Thanks for asking and hope you’re doing better too :)
@@mcs9661 Hey there! Glad to hear that you're doing much better. I'm also in a better place. I've chosen to appreciate my introversion as a super power. We are deep thinkers, great listeners and don't care for unnecessary attention. Your patients are going to be so lucky to have you treating them. I wish you nothing but the best in life.
Social media and society swarms around extrovers, but if you sit down with a introvert and really got to know them you will learn more about the world and be astonished with the way a introvert can analyze their surrondings and what is really happening around them.
I agree with you.
You can say that again.
They give a unique perspective to life
THIS 🎉🎉🎉
people think I'm minding my business but Im really listening to everyones else conversation
Amen!
Yeah, funny when they say something then I comment or add something to the convo and they be like "I don't know that you know about this!"
same
And sharing my opinion with myself
sierra remsen lol me to 😂
It’s funner just to sit their and enjoy the show than to just talk with them 😂
Sometimes yet can be about the stupidest things or it can just be really funny. 😂🤦♂️
For example, my parents were talking about schedules at lunch and I just sat there and watched them argue about it for 10 minutes 😂😂😂😂
"Group work": Extroverts do the "group" part, introvert does the "work" part.
Olga Cat YEP
Omg trueeeee! Never though of it like that, but so true!!!
Accurate AF
Never thought about that, but it‘s proven to be true in my entire life :D
this was my entire fucking experience in highschool.....pisses me off thinking about it
It can be easy to mistake introversion for shyness or something else that leads to a general underestimation of what introverted people are capable of. Love seeing that idea being corrected.
True. I saw a video about a year ago about the Myers Briggs stuff. It was a guy trying to be funny (drumming up a YT channel in the hopes for making a living). So he used side comments and side skits that were basically all social anxiety. And kids were commenting "omg that's me. I just have so much trouble fitting in not knowing what to say so insecure, I'm such an introvert😭". It was swimming against the stream trying to educate people "he got introversion wrong. that's not introversion..." For my sanity I left the video, deleted it from my watch history so I don't get more reccs from that channel.
@@GeronimOCZECH Who is "you"?
@@GeronimOCZECH What do you mean by you "honor greater values than you"? It doesnt make sense for what is being talked about but sounds like an insult.
Is being introverted sometimes mistaken for autism?
@thisisauser To add to this being introverted doesn't mean being antisocial or withdrawn
I am not sure if it's only me but in a group discussion or meetings, I felt like I always need more time to think before I can ask question or provide a suggestions. I hate it when they do break out rooms where you don't have a choice but to participate. However, there is kind of an unspoken expectation that each should be able to speak up and just spontaneously provide feedback or comments or suggestions. So at the end, I'm forced to provide a rushed ideas that sometimes not a very good one. So most of the time I've beat myself for thinking so slow, for not contributing. In a corporate race of being the best, those the loudest and fastest are seen to be capable and able to lead.
I'm that way. I have to take the info in and think on it, analyze, see it from different angles and try to come up with the most logical, working plan.
Well said! ..group social interactions seem fast to me. The group has often moved on to a different topic when I wish to respond. It has left me feeling stupid, out of step and not enjoying social groups. It feels good to know that others feel the same. I’m a sociable person, and was brought up in a house of loudest & most dominant being ‘best’ which has taken its toll and taken along time for me to rebalance & accept myself. I was always the bookish one who didn’t want to join in… when actually I did like joining in but not in such a robust & insensitive manner. Love this talk and feel like I need to watch it regularly perhaps every Xmas! 😊
Holy crap I’ve never related more to anything before
My feelings exactly!
This is how I feel too
INTROVERTS UNITE!!!!!
virtually and quietly
Dane Bryant Frazier lmafo
😋😋😋🤐🤐... It was right..
Yeah 🤘🤘
I'm here to unite with all the others like me. (Introverts)
I tried Virtualy. VR Chat. Feeling was the same.
Ironically, teachers ask introverts to open up and try to shut up extroverts.
Chaotic Demons Same. Like they’ll be times when I think, “Okay. She asked a question I know the answer to. I can do this. I won’t make a fool of myself. It’s easy, just raise your hand…”
And then she picks the loud kid who always gets it wrong, and I’m just sitting there like, “welp.”
I guess even teachers know introverts have the loudest minds and not the loudest mouths
Tech & Knowledge why is this accurate
So true 😂
Agree.. me during school day..
This really hits home for me, I often feel like the world is terrible for forcing me to be extroverted. I really think we need to change our social norms and let introverts be themselves!
Indeed! While we should try our best to adapt to the world around us, I do think the world should also try to create a safe space for introverts to feel comfortable exercising their creativity and capabilities.
From my childhood & even till now people told me Be social, talk more it's not good to be silent. But I'm happy being a introvert.
“Everyone always tells introverts to speak up and talk more, no one ever tells extroverts to shut up and listen more” -unknown
Yah feel you
I do 😂
big true
Exactly 💯
True. Life is tough as an introvert
Introverts sometimes act so much more of an extrovert when with the closest friends and family 😁😁
True
True
soooooo true
Yup!
you talking about me.. 🙋🏻♀️
It makes me tear up. I’m 77yr old and it describes me perfectly. I wouldn’t have traded a moment of it. Thank you for helping to validate my life. Not that it really needed it because from childhood I felt right.
bless you
As a child I was always reminded of how I was dumb for not talking a lot, I was always compared with siblings who were extroverted, despite being good at studies my family always thought I wasn’t bright because I didn’t speak a lot and spent most of my time being in my room. It did affect me while growing up, so much that a part of me felt that I would never be able to get over the fact that I am not bright enough for this world. Parents need to understand that introversion is not a disease or an indication of low IQ, it’s something every other individual is born with.Introverts are already not devoid of inhibitions of the outer world, at such times it is extremely crucial for the family members to not push their children and realise the amount of damage it can lead to one’s self esteem at such a tender age.
*Introverts, rise up. We're finally valid*
Always have been
we always were
epic gamer moment
Yes
finally
I'm an introvert because i don't like talking about people all the time. Talk to me about ideas and I'll suddenly become an extrovert. Period.
U are an ambivert
Gossip wears me out....I listen but am not one....it doesnt interest me beyond hearing the news per se....guess that's one reason why I'm not a great conversationalist.
so me
you cant really call anyone an extrovert or introvert. Everyone is different. I don't talk to people much in general, and I generally stay at home. However I love to socialize when people share my interests.
Same!!
As an extrovert myself I've always thought one of the greatest pieces advice for other extroverts is to make time to listen to introverted people. Introverted doesn't mean shy and they often have the best insights into the world.
Glad to know i am not alone. I felt very sad when i cannot socialize like others. I always thought it as a problem. But now i am okay. I am what i am and its okay.
Let people judge us. We shouldn't care 🙌🙌
That is exactly what I felt too! When I wanted to tell someone something I used to always ask myself "what if I say things in a way that could be ever so slightly awkward?" and that made it worse because I was paying too much atention on how I was saying things and what pauses i was doing while speaking. I saw myself as the unsocial kid that does not talk often. At the time this also made me feel like I was different in a bad way. But thankfully we both have learned to accept ourselves as we are and not care too much. I am happy to be an introvert today. For example I sometimes find myself sitting on the chair in our bathroom and brushing my teeth and i forgot how I walked from the washbasin to the chair. Then realize out I had just been in my thoughts for a few minutes. Looking back at it then I kind of find it funny in a that I just sat without really realizing. I think it is because it makes me happy that I am able to spend time just letting my thoughts go somewhere. It also makes boring school lessons way easier to get through. It is hard to explain but I think this is the best way I can put it with my limited English.
@@Froahk Whenever you are overthinking; remember that things can go both way. It may make conversation awkward but in the flip side, things can go positively. You can share your thoughts and have a conversation about it. Learn something new about them and let them learn about you- your ideas etc. :))
I have never understood I am sort of an introvert (not extreme, but as a tendency) until half a year ago. Now that I understand what I am and what my needs are everything is a bit easier.
Bro being called boring is so hurtful, just cos you dont talk a lot
I know right 😔😔😔
Factssss
Better to not talk a lot and say something when it has meaning, than to jabber on and on and on about nothing all day
@Chubbachuubs
I believe "boring" is the wrong word. I believe people mean to say it's "uncomfortable" being around an introvert. I have a niece that's an introvert, who yerns for new friends. I believe Introverts MUST learn to adjust to having conversations if they yern for friends. If they don't care to make friends, then that's a different story. But, to suggest that it's okay to be quiet and either have the other person do all the talking or expect them to be quiet as well, is just not fair. It's kind of a catch-22. My niece now has a boyfriend, and went on a double-date with her male couson and his girlfriend. Her mom and I suggestested that she NOT just sit quietly in a corner and open up a little. She took our advice and had a WONDERFUL time. Her male-cousin was soooo amazed and happy that she was able to join in with the fun (just for the moment). There is a time to be quiet and then there are also times when introverts must open up just a little bit. I want to add that I am an extrovert, who wishes to be an ambivert, which is a balance between the two. I can see how it's just as difficult being either intoverted or extroverted. One talks too little and the other talks too much. Balance is what's necessary. #JustMyOpinion
Jasper Stone Chronicles II love this!
Introverts that have to leave their house for work: "I'm too weak"
Introverts during Covid-19: "UNLIMITED POWER!!!"
us introvert prepared our whole lives for quarantine, its amazing
Maybe not always
Yeah , moments before work , golden moments .
True
I never knew i was a introvert and i always taught i am a failure and Don't speak. This feels home.
As a teacher myself, I totally understand the demand from schools to do group work. They love it, preach it, and submerge in it. Proximity, over their shoulder, make them talk to each other, they say, so they can learn. Collaboration over individualism... My students are quiet, kind, and smart. They are the future of computing, and they are LEARNING without all the damn noise.
Thank you for understanding and IMPLEMENTING the right way, regardless of what’s being shoved in your teacher face by state (?) entities that do not respect individuals. Thank you for recognizing each child’s strengths and weaknesses and working with both to achieve greatness and a true sense of belonging.
we were taught that introverts don't have a chance to grow in life but this video is so revealing and enlightening that everyone should watch it (especially extroverts)
you know you are a true introvert when the lockdown and social distance changed nothing in your life
You caught it right
mostly
Ya😂
Ya 😂 so true
So true for Ambiverts as well🥲
We live in an extroverted world.
Coronavirus: Yeah, I’ll do something about that.
Maybe........... maybe corona (chan) is an introvert too then...............
For introverts, oh can now make a good excuse not to leave your house.🥳
Minecaff hahaa
@@minecaff625 can't be. He's travelling all over the world at a rapid speed. Definitely an extrovert
Thanks coronavirus :)
I'm an introvert and I love it. Love reading, love painting in my studio, love sitting outside developing thoughts and creating ideas for art, love my time alone...so relaxing and freeing.
I love how REAL she was during the speech. And how she stood up for introverts as an introvert and educating the audience how an introvert should be treated. How an introvert must overcome their fears and speak up for themselves, do what they like to do, and not feel guilty about it. She delivered the speech so precisely using facts, which I liked the most. So much to learn from her.❤
Telling an introvert to open up is as rude as telling an extrovert to shut up..!!
Nishyank Patel underrated coment
For me, I think it also depends on their intentions.
LOL! By far my favorite comment
Exactly
Very often I have a willingness to say "shut up" for an extravert... sometimes it's super annoying 😴😴😴
For an introvert, a group task means everyone else will waste the whole time socializing while you do the whole work alone silently in a corner. Pure nightmare!
I felt it so hard :(
I am an introvert and I join the others socializing for the pure reason of procrastinating
@@thediamondminecrafters4059 me tooo lmao
@@thediamondminecrafters4059 Then nobody would get the work done. I am a very responsible person and I find it shameful to deliver something barely passable or incomplete when I have all the qualifications to do a great job. In a group task the outcome is shared by all. So instead of procrastinating with everyone (which is boring anyway) and deliver a last minute "whatever comes out" assignment, I'd rather be the odd one out who does a great 3-5 people's work, even at the cost of my sleeptime. Not that anyone will ever thank me for doing their work while sharing the credit, but at least my dignity will stay undamaged.
No. That's shy, not introvert
I just lost all my energy when I'm around people. Being alone make me so much better and relax.
For me this was amazing. The society tells introverts to speak up more.The most saddest fact is they think introverts are depressed while most of them are not.Introverts are always told to be more talkative. The tell us we are boring,rude,arrogant, sensitive, emotional and what none.The world needs to know more about introverts. I can write a whole damn book about the feeling of an introvert. We are excessively pressurized which makes us look dull sometimes. I hope one day people would try to understand us rather than passing baseless judgments on us.
Society: Hey so what are your hobbies?
Me: Well, video games, coding, gym, operating systems...
Society: Booooring! You should get other more outgoing hobbies like sports or hiking!
Me: But I don't like those, and either way I'm more immersed when I'm either alone or with a few friends.
Society: Well then you are a looooser and you should get more friends, because quantity over quality! Tell me that at least you have some sort of skill other than that nerd loser "video game" stuff?
Me: Well I do play bass sometimes
Society: What's that? Is it like a guitar or something?
Me: *Sighs....*
I felt uncomfortable when people said why are you so quiet.
Sometimes just simply because I'm not interested in the topics they are talking about.
Story of my life... :/
I received those kinds of comments every single time I'm in a group chat. I don't speak unless spoken to, and I also don't find it necessary to blatantly blurt out ideas or topics that comes on my mind. And it's not that I'm afraid of what people are going to think about what I'm saying, it's just that I tend to prioritise the things I actually want to talk about. You can say that I'm always in deep contemplations. When I find that the subject is not important enough to speak upon, then I simply swipe that out from my list of topics. I can be very pessimistic as well so that may also be the case... XD
Exactly!
Grew up hating it, when people asked me that question also.
They always often say that and I get conscience like "Am I too plain and boring, It's just I'm different from you that's why"
I'm just really a self reserved person I think :P
When that question comes up it usually pisses me off so much it actually makes me answer loudly in a very cocky way
If youre an introvert, people judge you as "arrogant", "disrespectful", "rude", "selfish" and all of us introverts can do is just... Stay silent and quiet
In latin america being intriver is sooo hard cause here people are so happy and close to others and when you reject something or don't get excited becaise one or other thing they will called you grinch, just because you don't feel like they.. and is something like
"Why should i become excite about something i don't care and wrost, of a person i met 1 week ago?"
I can feet that...and I will show this comment to my family..... hope they will understand me...):
.
This is so true😫😫😫😫
No one has ever said that to me in person but somehow I can feel that that's how they see me and it's kinda sad.
The annoying dumb kid: why don’t you want to help me? Is it something I said? Wow so rude not even answering
My brain: I’m about to end this man’s whole career, first of all, yes it’s something you said, it’s everything you say to me, we’re not even friends and I don’t even like you so why would you think I would even consider helping you and plus it’s literally the easiest thing we’ve done all year come on just do it yourself. Second, you didn’t even breathe in between all those sentences so how was I supposed to answer? If anything I won’t answer so you die from oxygen deficiency. Thirdly-
Me in reality: k bye
As am ambivert, going out an meditating for 15 minutes every day in the outdoors, with zero interruptions, for about 3 months straight was some of the most life-changing moments in my nearly 40 years on earth. Being in the wilderness, focusing on nothing but existence is the essence of existence.
This is so well put... It feels good when someone speaks up for our world. Many introverts have been labelled: anti social, social bore, weird, unloving and others s such these. It hurts. Hopefully the world will become a better place where Extros and Intros coexist with better acceptance and respect.
Problem introverts have with society..
Society : be who you are. Do whatever you think makes you happy.
Introvert : sure.
Society : no, not that way. Like this. It's only like this.
True
Great
True
Good comment Lydia! You made your point in such a creative way!
I just ignore society and what it wants - works really well
I hate it when people ask "why are you so quiet?"
Well...
I just *MET* you.
U are 100 percent right....i experienced that.
AND THIS IS CRAZY
"My mouth is closed. And I'm not speaking." My usual response...
Well true
But have u thought they just want to include u too nd want u to join them , well just saying not trying to be negative becoz im an introvert too
time less some people ask that question politely, and i made friends before just because someone asked me why i am myself instead of assuming the reason for my silence. many times it just comes off as rude, especially when someone says it loudly so everyone in the room hears and if you don’t answer they just keep going. that’s different than someone who actually wants to befriend you or at least have a polite conversation with you.
As an introvert myself, I very much agree with a lot of statements that Susan made in her brilliant talk. Growing up, you're often being told to be verbal, sociable and to "put yourself out there and glow". However, not all of us are capable of radiating the room like how the sun never stops shining, so it is empowering when Cain highlights the strengths of introverts and how we can use that to our advantage and contribute to our environment
Silence is Gold.
Only an Introvert can sense the discomfort she must have felt delivering this amazing Ted talk .. Amazing
But this is the kind of speakers that I like listening to. I don't trust speakers who are too confident because for me, those are people who don't introspect.
She, on the other hand, seems genuine and thoughtful.
yes dude..exactly
A common misconception is that “introvert” means “doesn’t like speaking to large groups of people.” That isn’t precisely true. Introverts don’t derive energy from large groups of people. They are recharged by alone time or small groups of close friends, but I know many introverts who love public speaking (myself included) and many extroverts who are terrified by it. I just need time to recharge afterward, where the extrovert is running to the meet-and-greet 😂
I am introverted and i absolutely HATE public speaking..........i avoid it like the plague!!!!
I think an introvert and a person with public-anxiety are different...
"What's wrong, why are you upset, why aren't you talking"
*Me just trying to vibe*
Indeed
That was literally all my teachers in elementary. They had me go to a special therapy just because I minded my own business and took some time to warm up to people.
Yup
"Are you okay? You're so quiet..."
Nana, you've know me for the 13 years I've been alive, when have I ever _not_ been quiet?
Ok
Thank you for this. I'm such a quiet person, and all my life I've heard that I need to be more social. I am social. But I have a timer for my social capacity. When the timer runs out, I am done. I need my solitude. I need my space to recharge. I need my space to be a good person. When I feel like I have to sacrifice who I am, I am so unhappy.
I am an introvert and I know that people like me are emotionally self-sustain, I am very pleased with this quality of mine and I am most at ease when people leave me alone.
99% of these comments made by us introverts are things we most likely wouldn’t say out loud.
internet is truly the place for us to speak up our mind
@@cheekers4445 i agree, plus i talk to it with my mother outside because i started to open up to her this year for her trusting me to go outside
Indeed. I would never march up to my friend and say anything I’ve written to her 😂
Yeah actually no body understands our pain
@@kajaljaiswal9846 we can somewhat understand each other don't you think? The biggest problem is that if we were the kind of person to talk about that with people often, we wouldn't have the kind of problem we want to talk about...
the quietest people have the loudest minds for sure
I am one of the quietest people at the school where I work; my mind and its ideas never stop rolling and pondering--it's "loud" for sure. In fact, it screams!
Damn that was deep
you mean most quiet
You should here some of my opinions
Cal you got that sentence from another introvert video
Something I’ve learnt about myself lately is that it all depends on the people, place, and what mood I’m in that day. Sometimes when I’m with a friend and others I won’t feel anxious at all and almost feel social, while other times I’ll feel so anxious, but who doesn’t! Something I’ll never forget my mom said to me is that when you meet someone it just * clicks *. And it’s so true! Of course you’re gonna feel anxious if your around someone who doesn’t relate or understand you. If it were your choice you wouldn’t have anything to do with them! When you finally find someone who does relate or understand you automatically feel more understood and less out of place. Something our society doesn’t do well is act like you have to get along with everyone you come across, which really isn’t true.
I agree! And the friends I clicked with naturally are still in my life, so beautiful!
I feel the same. The MOOD , the VIBE, drives me. And I get confused. Am I really an introvert??
Can’t agree more, good point!
The power of quiet in a world that doesn’t seem to be able to stop talking, moving and making weird, random noises just for the sake of gaining attention can’t be overstated. Thank you, Ms. Cain. You’re such a gentle inspiration.
I hate it when people say "why don't you go out more? It's so much fun!" It may be fun to you but for me it sucks. My dream summer is staying inside, listening to music, going online, reading and talking to my friends online. I like to be alone. It's just who I am.
Don't Ask me too bro
haha this is exactly me. except i am so introverted i just prefer generally not talking to people as much..
i'm an introvert, perhaps an austistic, and i do prefer going out exploring the world *all by myself*, or maybe with my closest friend (if he should agree).
I like to be alone but not feeling lonely.
Don't Ask i Think you just described Me 😂
I hate HATEEE.. when people ask me "wHy ArE yOu So QuIeT?" Because that's who I am! That's how I function. I don't ask others "Why do you talk too much? Why are you so noisy?
It's *RUDE*
Exactly!! People always think I'm rude for not talking even though that's who i am.
@* . ʚ just k ɞ . * Maybe I'll let them in when I feel like it.
what does it means? I saw this same comment in whacky Jacky's pubg video. what does it mean here
@* . ʚ just k ɞ . * Intention is irrelevant to a person receiving a comment. If I call someone an arsehole with the best intentions, it'll still be taken offensively.
I think an extrovert's comment to me to "speak up" draws the line between good intentions and ignorance for introversion.
@* . ʚ just k ɞ . * Why should I try to understand them? They are always the ones trying coerce us into extroversion.
You know she expressed every single emotion perfectly and you felt it, when you teared up in the end...
Being Intelligent and an Introvert is the perfect combo.
When she said : "Stop the madness for constant group working", I heard the introvert gods cheering
😀
And the worshipers dance with joy
More like nodding in agreement
Yes ! What if I told you there was something you could do to help your brain, body and whole system improve? And use a plant to naturally fight most any virus and boost your immune sytem ? Watch our RUclips video ; ruclips.net/video/9y190q_zaqU/видео.html
Yesssss i hate it, especially the "ChOoSe yOuR PaRtNers!!" Thing 🤢🤮
You’re at the grocery store. You’re looking for milk, but you cannot seem to find it. What do you do?
Extrovert: Ask someone for help.
Introvert: Wander around for potentially hours trying to find it yourself.
Alternate introvert: Find a solitary isolated person and softly ask for help.
Shrikanth A V nah dog it’s either i’m finding it or i’m dying in that store looking
Plot twist for introvert: A boy comes with a "May I help you?" smile!!!
I'm an introvert, and I'd definitely ask for help if I couldn't find what I was looking for in under say 10 minutes - I'd much rather have my shopping experience end sooner, so that I could go home to peace and quiet, than waste hours of my time in a public space.
I think you're confusing introversion with shyness or perhaps even social anxiety. I'm not afraid of social interaction, I just prefer to be by myself most of the time. (I realise that your comment was intended as a joke, I just wanted to make the distinction clear)
I'm quite shy about (in my mind) bothering people in a store and asking them for help.
I'm an introvert and that ending brought a tear to my eye. Very powerful message!
An introvert here 🙋, trying to tiptoe around the noise of the world.
Such a lovely speech, now you are one of my role models ❤️.
Fricking teachers bring down my grades because "I don't talk enough", apparently meaning that if I don't talk, I don't know anything. lol
what are you the most knowledgeable about/enjoy?
@@prototype_11 okay :I
@@prototype_11 Dude, that was uncalled for!
Teachers are losers. Without exception.
@@News.is.Global Then you've never had some of my teachers.
I hate when people think I dislike them or that I'm being rude when I'm quiet or I don't want to be a part of something
been there. been called arrogant, rude etc etc. i really have stopped caring
Java Shark** Strongly dislike*
Java Shark I know just how you feel
may God help us
Java Shark same
Hands down one of the best TED talks I've ever listened to. I'd love to take a moment and thank Susan Cain for her truly honest and direct approach, extroverts and introverts are both needed equally, as both together will form a better planet, Introverts require alone time/safe spaces to fully connect with their inner self, they sometimes like to see from all different perspectives before making a decision. By giving introverts the platform/space and chance to raise their voice in their unique way, the world would be more synergistic. Most people see introverts as weak, soft or even unworthy at times, yet introverts are the key needed to unlock the great treasures of humanity. Together we can achieve better. Together we are stronger. Thank you Susan Cain, your voice is heard.
It's so hard when you're an introvert and shy at the same time. I'm so anxious and awkward infront of people.
person: why you so quiet??
me in response: because the world is loud enough already. everybody's talking, nobody's listning.
*listening
Wise words
True, very true. The worst part is that, us introverts, while good at listening, don't really want to mingle even with other introverts so our ability to listen goes to waste. We all also want to be heard.
And then they don’t hear you and ask you to repeat what you said
how deep and edgy
im an introvert, and my superpower is surviving quarantine
Yes, using that mask, Shrek Wazowski.
Yes introvert prefers to be alone. Their imagination is wide that they don't need to go out to see things
Me too I feel mean by saying this but it makes me laugh when I see extroverts struggling to get through just a few months of quarantine haha it’s so funny they really can’t survive without social interaction as much as they’d like just as if it was necessary like food or water
Lol
I feel like it's oppositely stifling to be an introvert in quarantine cus your family is always _there_ just breathing down your neck
I’m so glad she made the distinction between introversion and social anxiety. I think we confuse both of these all the time. And this confusion prevents us from addressing the latter, which is extremely detrimental to embracing ourselves and others.
Before, i can’t help not to ask myself “Why i am like this? What’s wrong with me? Is it normal to be like this?” I feel different from people around me..
But when i heard about being an introvert, i feel relieved and said, “I may be different from them but i am normal.. This is me💪
Yep I feel you. I just finish her book Quiet four days ago and it explained do much thing about myself. This was truly a reliefs that I didn't know I needed
MOST Introverts:
1. Wait for people to make friends with them
2. Can be loud and energetic but only with close friends/ family
3. Don't like to open up
4. *waits in silence for someone to start the conversation*
5. Gets super energetic when discussing topics that they have a strong opinion about
6. Thinks Shhhhhhhh I'm reading but doesn't actually say it
7. Likes someone but doesn't confess
8. Likes being in the company of people but not essentially talking or socialising
9. *Sarcasm & witty remarks* (speaking to self)
10. Hates showing feelings
11. (new one XD) says hi multiple times but no one responds/notices
^^^Disclaimer:Okay, so this one miiiiight just be me, and not all introverts.
12. (creds Cosmic Gaming) Not wanting to go first because you're afraid of how people will react
Saaaaaame
Who are you dude? Why we thinking the same things😂
Number 9 is so accurate. Whenever I'm in a large group or something and the leader says something that is technically incorrect like "there are 4 months with 30 days" I usually say quietly to myself "technically you're wrong cause 30 is a subset of 31 so actually 11 months have 30 days" or something like that.
Literally just described me. What the hecc XD
Especially point 5.
Are you stalking me?
Actually. Forcing introverts to be like extroverts (especially at a young age) and then blaming them for when they can't be like "the rest" is very traumatic and can cause a lot of issues later in life.
So true...
i agree, coz thats what i am going through ri8 now
My parents force me to speak up they’ve been forcing me to speak up ever since I can remember and I’m 15 now
I think I might have got diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome b/c of it, but my dad looks like he has it and not just introverted so I might have gotten it from him.
Bulletproof Diamond WINSTAR lol. My mom and dad don’t talk that much when I don’t talk at breakfast time they mostly talk about boring business stuff. Although my mom seems like an introvert but when she is in a con conversation she acts as an extrovert.
I probably got this from my mom or something my dad says my brother had trouble talking to other people to so he always brought his younger brother with him. My mom also said she used to be shy when she was my age that doesn’t really mean she was an introvert though...🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
As an introvert I definitely understand. I have a lot of friends who are extroverts and I feel like that works well for them because I get to sit, acknowledge, and listen while they talk and talk without much interruption.
just be you, that will be my ted talk at some point
We should invent introphobia and sue all people who make us do group assignments
+John Langerhan Walmart motivational staff meetings.
+John Langerhan At first I was going to say something going against your point but then I thought about it and remembered that extroverts want to make introversion a medical diagnosis in the DSM-V so I genuinely believe there is some form of introphobia in society
+John Langerhan Naaaah, contributing to further the PC culture?
+John Langerhan We would, except we're too shy.
***** Well part of her point was that introversion and shyness are different things.
Quiet people have the loudest mind. - Stephen Hawkin
Brown Dairus i think theres a lot of truth in this. Is like or you express your ideas "outside" or "inside", but they need to manifest themselves one way or another.
Do not think something is truth and applies to everyone just because some famous person said it. Being introverted is nothing special, it doesn't give you some mental superiority. If anything, it shows mental inferiority, if introverts' lack of social abilities is anything to judge by.
Brown Dairus So true
I didn't know vegetables were that intelligent.
AmIgOltu introverts aren't socially challenged, they just don't do it as much. Also, I think introverts build better relationships with friends or family as that's how most of us are. IMHO of course.
I feel this pressure to be social in order to "network," and it's not easy when you've been both bullied in school and traumatized into silence at home. A lot of people get lucky breaks by speaking up and standing out; I'm struggling to use social apps bc I'm scared of people. I had resolved to believe that no one would ever know my true personality or get close enough to me to learn all the things about me you wouldn't expect in a first impression. Upon moving out and starting a new life elsewhere, I held down my first non-seasonal job, and remained my mumbly, awkward, introverted self. I felt I needed to compensate for my silence by working twice as hard and helping others with their jobs. I only allowed kind words and proper manners to leave my lips bc I stumble over conversations. All of a sudden I'm being invited out places, my coworkers and new friends gift me and engage with me. They have no idea how much their friendships mean to me, but 99% of the time I can't wait to get home and not talk to anybody.
Susan Kane is a legend. She's such an inspiration for introverts out there. She gave hope and comforted so many inteoverts with her story. Introverts have special powers that they aren't even aware of. Susan made them understand their powers and it's no small thing.
"Introvert is not something that needs to be cure " _Susan Cain
The most mistake an introvert person can make is trying to be an extrovert
Then why do people keep trying? The only reason I can think of is most are threatened by non disclosure. Think about it ( I know you will) , the more you reveal, the more they can use against you. The more power they feel over you if you do what they do. Introverts are mysterious, you don't "get them" unless THEY choose to let you in. Information is power, and we won't give it up that up easily, just because someone demands it.😁
Yes, I've watched so many videos on how to be more outgoing, but all I did was make me crawl back into my introvert shell even more.
@@annadawson5325 um.. who is "they"? We're not in a battle royale movie, what will "they" use against you. There's nothing wrong with being extroverted, the same with introverted.
That one guy....By "they" , I simply mean anyone who starts a statement with the words , " why don't you?" , and " you need to", and my personal favorite pet peeve...." I don't understand you". You're right in saying that there's nothing wrong with being an extrovert or an introvert. And those above mentioned statements might mean something if they are coming from someone who knows you well. But when they come from someone you just met, who come on too strong in trying to included you in something, but won't take no for an answer. And then they get mad but don't care to ask about your feelings about it. It pisses us off and the more reclusive we become. I've gotten these statements from some introverts too.
@@annadawson5325 literally 95% of people who says that actually wants to help you. I was in your same boat, not too long ago. I always took those statements as "they're making fun of me" or "they're not serious" and I always said nothing or rejected what they said. Now I look back, and I think that wasn't a good way of thinking. Honestly, I think your in that phase where you hate people other than than your friends (I've been there). It's not a healthy way of thinking, people really do want to help and include you, I do too.
This video is an answer to all the teachers who said..'your daughter doesn't participates in the class'
update: I graduated high school and I'm apparently studying French that I love, and I found out that I participate way more in my French classes than I ever have. I think it has to do with my love and interest towards the language. Find what you love and you'll see yourself change xx
yes
So true
Ikr?
+YUOZ Highlights I checked it out. Lol.
agreed
"I wish you the courage to speak softly" This for me is the best Ted talk I've ever listened to.
Have been visiting back to this ted talk for the last 6 years during the times when being an introvert hits hard, feels alienated. So much grateful for the sense of inclusion, the acceptance this talk instills
I love how she's obviously an introvert. She's so scared and excited at the same same time. She keeps stopping but then she starts again cus she's passionate about this
Ikrr
and how she acknowledges her audience in between
She's not scared but rather give pose of concentration intentionally for words to just sink in in mind. It's a public speaking technique
@@nas209 well... She actually is using that technique in a natural way....
It was not obvious for me. I thought she was calm and confident throughout her whole talk.
I'm extremely introverted. However, I am not shy. I can introduce myself to strangers with confidence and hold conversation. I can look people in the eyes while talking to them. I just prefer to be alone most of the time. Also, being in situations with large groups of people physically drains me.
I am quite similar to how you have described yourself
This is is me as well. I have had to learn to overcome shyness but larger groups of people do drain me. I enjoy doing things alone like reading 📖📓
xLoveLexii I agree wholeheartedly. Most of my friends are extroverts so they like hanging out alot, but sometimes it get to be a bit much.
how are you extremely introverted if you can hold conversations and can look people in the eyes while talking to them? Cause if that's the case, I might be beyong extremely introverted -_-
jqkrish introvert doesn't mean you're shy. Somebody can be very confident and look people in the eyes, but still be an introvert, meaning you need your time alone. It's where you get your energy from. Extroverts get their energy from being with other people.
I truly appreciated this talk. It creates anxiety in some introverts (like me), when they are continuously forced to do group work/work in groups and judge adversely if you prefer not to..
Hello Vickie, how are you?
As an introvert that has been recently trying to improve myself about me being an absolute shy person, this speech is so great to listen to.
i personally feel uncomfortable when it comes to family reunion, everyone enjoys irrelevant, time-consuming conversations,
whereas, i enjoy alone time for peace and self-healing.
right i just sit in the corner with my phone or talk with my favorite cousin if he comes
and it feels so awkward when my mom forces me to talk with some kids of my age at those family reunions when we dont even have any topic to talk about
@@thakur.snigdha 😂
Especially if those kids are so extrovert.
I hate family reunion.
It ruin up my space
SAME
Trying to be social is like trying to breathe underwater.
👊
Being an introvert, i always feel uncomfortable to attend meetings, and to discuss with people,. Even i dont want to join school vacation with my uni's friends. it is really true that, i was anxious in my past times in group meetings, and it was like as you said "breathing underwater". The strange thing is I am the leader in my classroom and sometimes, have to take a speech ...
Hey, memento mori.
Dang so true
So does that mean trying to be social is like trying to be a fish?
My whole life av been quiet. So my family and friends always say 'Am good because am quiet and listen ' but last year for the first time i did something wrong, and after seeing their reaction it made me hate being quiet. Had to bottle my feelings, and my life has been so draining emotionally. I hope someone finds this, always speak what's on your mind. Don't keep it inside.
What an unbelievable speaker, amazingly articulate!
I can see that she's really an introvert, I talk so fast as well especially when I'm excited to share something
It can also show that you think quicker than majority. I'm an introvert as well, and when I talk my mouth is trying to reach the speed of my brain conjuring the sentences so I had to work FOR YEARS to try and slow down my speaking because most people had no idea what I was saying and I would have to repeat myself a dozen times and it was a NIGHTMARE
Yes then after sharing I will keep quiet
@@ivankovwink1311 I hate being so excited about talking about my experiences (Which is rare) then they wont actually pay attention and will make me repeat, makes me not wanna talk more
@@daisyyoonmin it's worse when you say something and like ten other people start making you question what you said like they understand what your saying better than you. You might start to feel over whelmed.
@@zeemonrollin8340 Ooof that IS horrible
She spent her 7 years to Make us ( introverts) realize who we really are
Hats off For her
Edit : Dang Never got this many likes 😱
Yup , big respect for her
yep :)
👏🏻💕
Yep
Well, uh, introverts are usually very self conscious, and usually are more in tuned with who they are than extroverts. Don't need anybody els to make you realize who and what your are honestly. I personally can't figure out how anyone can be an introvert and be clueless about themselves. But I suppose you get smart and dumb introverts too.
This is my first time commenting on a RUclips video even tho have been watching RUclips videos for more than 10 years now.
Glad topics like this are being talked about. ❤️