I have no friends (emotional) | Healing Diaries Ep4
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- Опубликовано: 11 июл 2024
- confession: I had no friends for over 5 years.
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//📖Chapters:
0:00 So... I have no friends
2:17 Chapter 1: Worthiness
6:25 Chapter 2: Misconceptions of friendship
6:46 Misconception 1. Organic
9:14 Misconception 2. Intentional efforts
12:07 Misconception 3. Individuality
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I was just focusing so hard on this because I just started community college. I see my friends post about having fun, going out at night, enjoying their lives together at college everyday, where they no longer text me anymore, and even my closest friends stopped too. I feel so alone, and the environment of community college where people just go to class and go home doesn't help whatsoever no matter how hard I try to become close. I've always been extremely social, but this sudden hit of no longer having anyone to lean on and it being a cycle of going to school then coming home every single day has me feeling no hope. Seeing this video just pop up feels like destiny :,)
Same!! I can go further than small talk
I'm so sorry for what you have been through. Hopefully you get some support and find friends to lean on and hope you have a nice day and have the strength for the next ❤️❤️❤️
I had the same problem, I worked hard to get into university and was even at the top of my class, but I had to go to cc.
I also wish I had friends. But you aren't alone, we are together in this :)
Damn. I was lucky enough to still have friends (living in same neighborhood) to hang out when I went to community college (and my friends also went to different community colleges). It is lonely now but you might find a nice friend in the future. You just haven't met them yet. Keep focusing on yourself and your studies. Try to see if there are any clubs in your community college. Just remember: You have your own life. It may not be glamorous right now but things might change in the future. I only made like one meaningful friend in community college. I made a few more good friends when I transfered to uni.
hits home for me :
I feel like I’ve still never found my soulmate friend, watching shows with large friend groups makes me depressed. I’m 25 and everyone has left me and the ones I have come and go. So please don’t feel alone, there’s so many of us ❤️
Me too.....watching people hangout with so many friends make me feel so terrible.......i have NO friends at all....idek how or when i lost them all but i did....and it's probably totally my fault.....
Please don't feel that way, for what it is worth let me that I had a group of friend for the last 5 6 years, I put in so much effort in our friendships, but in the end, they started forming sub groups within it, and as time went one that made me feel more and more isolated and marginalised, even though I for sure was the one that gave more in our friendships than the 4 of them combined.
These past couple of years i started to realise that I didn't want to stay friends with them anymore, I gave them enough excuses, but a few months ago, I decided that enough was enough, I respect myself enough to walk away from what doesn't serve me in any way, shape or form, and to be honest, I felt better alone than I did in their company! I have a few friends that i reconnected with, even though one lives abroad, one in another city, and one in my city but a bit far away,, yet just knowing that they love and value me for what I am, without me even feeling the need to do whatsoever is just amazing, we cannot see each other often and that is okay.
Also I have learned that for me, I prefer to connect one on one with people, I crave depth in connection, and more often than not, that aspect is lost when there are many people talking at the same time, some even talking over others and not respecting each other in that way, which just irritates me as I have always listened to what everyone has to say, but when It is my turn to speak, they barely listen.
That is to say, do not feel pressured to be a part of a large group, that is overrated, and bring in more stress than anything else. It is okay if you want to have a group to hang out with, but if you too, are like me and looking for a soulmate friend, one on one friendships is the way to go.
And ultimately remember that no matter what, people can come and go no matter how close you are, I had a friend i used to consider my soulmate (platonically) yet she is one of the people in the group that ended up disappointing me the most, so what i learned from all these years, is that you should be your own best friend first, look out for yourself and learn to appreciate your own company, the rest will follow later on!
You're only 25! You've got 75 years left to meet your people 💖 you'll find them don't worry! Just live your life and have fun meeting them along the way!
your still young :) what are your hobbies? try joining clubs, reaching out to old friends,, going to the gym, yoga classes and invite them for a coffee and build a friendship you never know what you can have a year from now !
I'm also 25 and no friends. I had 2 friends and our friendship just faded away after they found their life partners. To me It's not easy to make new friends because I'm an introvert.
I’m actually so glad you uploaded this, I’ve struggled with loneliness my entire life and I recently lost the only 2 friends I had. The loneliness is really getting to me and I often feel like a failure because of it. So this video is really great for me (as weird as that sounds) ❤
Edit: Also I do online school so it’s really difficult to meet people :(
It must be hard...
Can totally relate to you!!
💕💕💕
When you get older you have less friends, and it gets harder to find / keep friends.
I am going thru literally the same you described, is hard specially if you have depression too, feel you
This hit so close to home that it even made me tear up. I'm currently in my 3rd year at uni and it's nothing like what I expected(obviously). I'm introverted and a bit shy but I told myself I'd put myself out there when I got to uni but it feels like life isn't allowing me to make those genuine friendships. I see people all around me having those close friend groups and posts of my high school friends seeming to have made these new amazing friendships. But for me every friendship I make seems to just end. I had managed have two close friends on my 1st year but this year I realised I wasn't even part of their friend groups, I was just that girl they hungout with sometimes. It feels so lonely at times. I can go an entire week without speaking to anyone. I get to the point where I'll stare at my phone hoping someone will remember I exist and try to reach out to me. I've tried so many times to work on friendships but it always feels like I'm a second thought to people. I would have anxiety attacks and not have a single person pop in my mind I could call to help calm me down. I don't know how many times I've cried myself to sleep thinking why I'm so worthless I can't even make one genuine friend. Is it sad that I think the only genuine friend I have is my mom? Anyway thank you for this video. It is said your 20s are filled with growing pains.
And thank God, at least you have your mom :) i really hope you can friend truthful friends in the future
I totally feel you. I had one semester of Uni before covid hit and everything went online, now I have almost finished my bachelors. I’m having a job and I would really like to connect with my coworker because we seem to get along very well, but she seems to never have time outside of work. I genuinely don’t know how to make friends outside of school, where you seemed to just automatically become friends with someone because you saw them everyday. I’m working in a large city, there should be many people I would get along well, but how do I meet and connect with them?
Anyways, it’s sweet that you are such good friends with your mom. I feel like my boyfriend is my best friend, we love each other a lot, but there still is a desire for friendship that he can’t fulfill for me.
Sorry, I’ve been talking about myself because I relate to your comment. I truly hope that you will find someone who appreciates you because you deserve that. I’m just a stranger on the internet but I care ❤
Thank you soo much for this comment. I couldn't relate more, I hope you find true contentment in your own beauty and individuality and know that you are enough. Sometimes trusting in God's plan for you is worth the wait
oh wow! i have been going through the exact same thing. I what you're understand in the deepest way, the amount of times ive felt like screaming and thought that no one would notice even if i did, it makes the rest of life so difficult to get through. I will be be your comment friend (at least its something) ik small things like that can mean allot- were in this lonliness together and i reminding myself everyday that i just havent found the right people and if i never find them i will have grown to love myself more and will be okay either way. sending you love.
I can go atleast 10 days without talking because of my elementary , Middle and high school experience..... I'm really sorry to hear that.... Ik how it feels don't feel hopeless, you have your whole life, I genuinely wish you get some of the most amazing friends... Rn at least you have your mother, I didn't even have my parents to listen.... But still going so please don't lose your hope..... And once you start enjoying your company, believe me everything will make sense..... And tbh I wouldn't change what happened to me cuz because of that I'm a really strong and kind hearted, because I don't want to let people go through what I went through.... So please stay strong.... And don't lose hope..... 🙇♀️
"Be your own friend" I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I'm 26 and never had friends, school, college, uni, NEVER! I'm dying of loneliness. Just wanna end this.
I just wanna say that I’m so sorry things are hard right now. The frustration and loneliness can feel unbearable but Please don’t give up. I know there are people out there for you that would be so happy to get to know you. Even if you find people online or outside of your immediate area. Just hang on ❤
please don't end it ;_; i'm trying to find comfort in stories, like tv or books, where i can try to feel what the protagonists feel and it gives me strength. just long enough until i find the courage to actually try to become close to someone.
Same, I was NEVER a social butterfly, my parents forced me to have birthday parties (they had good intentions I think) and I dreaded the day because I knew nobody went, because it had happened before and that's how it was. I got used to be alone and I'm alone, I'm more comfortable now, but not really happy about it, I think I'm in the process of slowly over the years accepting that I will be alone.
I felt exactly the same way. Then one person told to stop trying to make friends. Just change your lifestyle, find a new hobby. I still don't have a lot of friends. But i am much happier because i am not trying to chase other people. Right people will come into your life🙌
I can be your friend!! 😢😢 I’m serious. What’s your @. Let’s be friends.
I know how it feels not to have friends.
It hurts.
Same.....it hurts so bad...
I haven’t had any any friends since HS and that was 4 years ago and I barely had friends in HS or we were just acquaintances. But sometimes you wish you had at least one friend to talk about things going on in your life, the good and the bad. Last Thursday, I went to the BLACKPINK concert alone. It was fun but don’t get me wrong it would’ve been nice to go with a friend. Seeing everyone with their friends made me feel so lonely. But that’s just life.
@@lovesomebodyudontknow5582 God bless! Don’t worry ❤Gods got you! Not having friends is hard 😕 but with God anything is possible! Prayer is key and if we pray for the blessing of having the right friends, we can receive it😊! Give him your burdens and he will help you, Jesus loves you💙Receive Jesus today! God bless
Same
I like the idea of not having friends. It means my likelihood of getting murdered is less, since most people who get murdered are killed by someone they know. :D
At one point in my life I was fine with being alone. Then, things happened, and I suddenly realized I could no longer be alone. I got afraid of silence, of my own thoughts. Friendship became weird for me as well. It no longer was about friends; it was about just being with humans. I’m slowly getting somewhere, but there are always those moments when I become a feelingless void, and as I slowly wander about, lose the very sense of “me”.
your comment is really moving💔
You have put this into words so perfectly.. I can relate to you so much! For me it honestly feels kind of weird, because on one hand I wanted to distract myself.. from myself, by focusing all on other people. But of course to do that, you have to put yourself out there, be seen, which was at times so uncomfortable, because.. If I can’t even bear myself, how do I expect other people to do so? I was and partly still am so afraid of not providing anything positive to someone else’s life, or even making it worse. And then it’s like a constant struggle of wanting to hide myself from the world, even myself but being scared of my own thoughts consuming me and having a deep longing for connection.
me too ❤️
This is literally what I want through after starting uni, I feel alone at times an feel like I'll lose my old friends. But I need to realise alot of this is in my head too
I feel this deeply and thank you for putting it all into words. I say that I have "friends" through socializing and the activities I do, but that sense of connection I long for with a small group or tribe is never easy to find, and even if I do have that one or two friends I vibe with entirely, they're busy with their own growth or they leave from my life. And now as I age, I feel like the more people are learning to enjoy their solitude, the less I can relate because a part of me still craves a connection and can't stand my own thoughts at times. So I crave outside validation and I mingle and hype others up to see the beauty in humans generally, which is where I stand. At the same time, I want to enjoy my solitude so I don't lose who "I" am either. It's something to juggle with
"I need to be a friend to myself first." This is so true❤
10:13 "We're all busy people."
This is so true! I've had a talk with a close friend about friendships a while ago and in response to us talking about those who never got time for anything, she said: "Truth is, no one got time for x, y, and z but the thing is that you *make* time for those you care about." And I couldn't agree more!
Exactly
yeah ~
“I didn’t think I was worthy of being loved” this was like a punch in my face cause it’s exactly what I have been feeling and just don’t know how to scape from being like this
Just be your best possible self and the right people who value you as who you are will come. Your happiness should not depend on other people and what they think of you.
Please understand that people will come to you from time to time. You shouldn’t destroy yourself and rely other people to make you happy. Your happiness comes from yourself. Don’t let others put yourself down.
me af
Hi ladies!
I’m going to be 30 soon and I was a VERY big social butterfly when I was 17-26 or so and I had so many friends but as I grew older those numbers diminished to wayyyyy lower. A few things I have learned to help all of you beautiful women who feel alone.
1. No one cares about your well being more than you. By this I mean that any pain you hold and any hardships you go through it’s going to be you to get yourself through it. Trust me. You will form a much more stronger relationship with yourself.
2. Friends come and go, I’ve learned to detach myself from people in a healthy way. Meaning if they stay, great and if they leave I’m grateful for the time that I had with them but I know at the end of the day I’ll be fine if we go our own separate ways.
3. As you get older you start to realize that some “friends” weren’t really friends but using you to forget about their own problems and have you there as an emotional punching bag. That shit is the worse but your better off for it.
4. I’ve realized the only people that are really there for me is my sisters and cousins. My family has been there for me and stayed consistent. Obviously I’m very lucky to have them and not everyone has that kind of support. As you get older alot of things come to surface and I’m getting a lot more closer to my mom.
5. If you are in a relationship your partner will be your #1, hopefully. My hubby is my best friend now and when you start to realize you have your own family your priorities start to shift and you don’t really think about how many friends you have.
6. You ladies have ALOT of life left so don’t let this make you believe it’ll be like this forever. Your view of life is what is going to make you feel less lonely. Being grateful and taking care of yourself is what matters. Once you form a good relationship with yourself everything else will fall into place. Trust me.
I’m a big sister to 5 siblings so I’ve had to take a lot of shit from life and have had a lot of lonely roads but working on myself was the best thing I did. I still have a long ways to go but I hope this helped any of you young ladies out there ❤️
I’m 30 as well, I agree with that but I still think friends are important. At 27 I moved away from my hometown and so from my friends and I wasn’t able to make new ones in three years (partially it’s because of covid I guess). this still hurts, even if I have a loving family and a caring partner.
thank you 💟💘💝
@@sarag.945 I’m sorry to hear that. I’m certain the pandemic definitely had to do with it. I hope things get better for you. I moved a bit away from my family and friends too and I haven’t made any friends in the new area I live in and it’s been almost 3 years. I’ve lost touch with most of my friends as well that I was really close with. It’s very hard for us to make genuine friendships as adults. Especially when everyone has their own life to keep them busy. I understand where you’re coming from.
What if you are a guy, this only implies to girls?
Thank you for this
I don’t think it’s inherently true that you have to find self love before you date/make a friend. This is because people, and life, are always changing. I’ve had a close knit friend circle who I’ve known for anywhere between 4-10 years. We’ve all gone through the works, phases where we’ve hated ourselves, been depressed, and vice versa. This idea that you have to put the cap on your self hatred or lack of confidence FIRST before you can know anyone is kind of harmful because it begs the question “what is ever good enough?” Friends can be CRUCIAL in helping you to work through these knots in your life. You don’t have to just hide and be a hermit until you’re “self improved enough” to make a friend.
Thank you! I'm so tired of people preaching this idea because how do you know when you love yourself enough to make friends?? Is it when you feel comfortable eating at restaurants alone, taking solo trips, doing activities by yourself? Self love is such a vague answer because I am confident in who I am. I love my personality, the way I look, and I take care of myself, but I never like being alone especially in social settings. Does that mean I still need to learn to love myself and delay making friends?
I agree! There is no end to finding self=love and something like that will always fluctuate through life. I see it as a concurrent thing---work on self love WHILE going out there to date and make friends (and go for just about anything before you're 'ready'), and with the right people, they can help you love yourself even more. I hate that it's either one or the other. Outside support is just as necessary as inner acceptance.
Exactly, it's almost impossible to 'love yourself' every day, like in a continuum. obviously there are ups and downs. the best thing is to cover up any self-hatred by deflecting the attention from yourself and asking others questions, sharing jokes, insight,...and then confidence and self love create themselves that way
right! id say take the friends when you can get them. if opportunities arise, i sure as hell wouldnt turn them down to ‘work on myself’ instead, because having friends would fundamentally improve my life. i guess im already pretty secure in myself though
wow i actually needed to hear this myself, thanks for sharing
id say if you have atleast one friend that makes u forget how sh!tty the world is then you are not lonely
I have one friend I met in 10th grade and I moved countries since then but everyday we always send messages to one another. I may have moved different school and different cities in the country I moved in and lost some friends in the process, but she’s always there wherever I go, not physically but I feel her presence a lot and I feel like 10th grade all over again whenever we message each other. However I still wish she was with me everyday, and go places easily. Ever since I went community college all the people I met were working and family people and the friends I had in that college were my highschool friends.
But since I move to a different city to work I haven’t found a friend yet. I’m still looking for a job so I haven’t met a lot of people yet. I joined a church lately and gathering courage to go to a bible study for young adults and hopefully make connections.
i feel like when we get older its harder to make friends because friendship groups are so set and no one wants to admit they are lonely :(🙃
i've not had any friends since 2020 and i think being autistic and isolated for two years during covid has changed the way i interact with people. I can't wait for the day I make a friend again
I’ll be your friend!!
Let's be friends ☀️
I'm 27, self diagnosed and have selective mutism. I also have no friends 😔 My social anxiety is getting worse.. I'm not good at communicating with others. It feels like no one understands me
@princesstutusweet Same :/
@@zoe_dawg wtf you're making her feel worse (?)
I don’t know why, but I don’t really feel sad about having no friends. It’s been 5 years now since I’ve had the last friend. If I need someone to talk to I can talk with my mom, she is always there for me. My family is big and I never feel lonely.
I fell the same, I just need my family and not even to Idk talk with them about my feelings or stuff, their company is just enough for me and I don't need anyone else (aaand I just find people of my age really stupid, maybe I'm stupid too but I just don't feel comfortable around them💀)
Can I ask, do you not miss hanging out with someone of your age or do you already have a close relationship with people of your age in your family?
I have no family either 😅
@@eqrahabibi it sucks more if your fam/relatives are dysfunctional 😅
But what when ur family is no longer here?
After graduating from high school I realized I didn’t even have one true friend. Long story short: I was a people pleaser.
I also used to believe I have social anxiety, shy, introverted etc. until I decided to take action, to work on myself. I was desperate to get away from that miserable me. Then I searched for such things on RUclips. It helped a lot. Within a year I changed so much.
My 1st semester in uni started in October 2022. I was determined to text people and try befriending them. No one seemed interested. At some point I gave up. We’ve only had online classes, and every now and then offline classes. I hate going to uni because of how alone I feel there. There’s also always alcohol and at night stuf whenever they talk about meeting up.
My three friends from high school found boyfriends at around the same time when covid started. Their priorities shifted.
Even yesterday I was crying about how alone and lonely I feel.
My parents are emotionally unavailable and I am the eldest of the three children.
Even on discord I have been trying to find a close connection to people, but no one ever feels the same way.
I used to escape from my loneliness through things like kdrama. When I saw friend groups I was like “Aww this is feeling me up.” and now I start crying because of how alone I feel. Even in real life, when I see people together, I end up wondering “Why can’t I have the same?”
Think I was 15 years old or something. Definitely some time around when I first heard of Alexa, I wanted Alexa as my birthday gift thinking “If Alexa can talk to me maybe I won’t be as lonely”. My parents were strict and never really let me meet up with my friends. My friends every now and then did try asking, but yeah. I don’t know what I am trying to say here.
It’s just I feel incredibly alone and lonely. I feel like I might end up feeling this my whole life even though I know I am only 21.
🫂🫂 hug
I really hope u can find new people in your life! Maybe if you start an language class or sport or another activity with other people it will be good for you! Hugs 💕
@@_aaliyahkc4171 thanks 🫂🫂
@@b.curupira4683 thank you 😊
I feel similarly. Just recently I went to a party after not going to one in years and was surprised at how stupidly hard it was for me to have a nice conversation with someone, it’s a lot easier to talk to people in college or on the street for some reason. The highlight of that day was a girl taking me out to dance or more like teaching me to dance cumbia, thank god for her.
During my early 20s I desperately cried about not having friends, and now I literally just sit here and play Shinning Nikki on my phone and browse art stuff. I'm quite happy, and it surprises me, never wouldve thought.
Thank you so much for this video!! I've struggled with feeling isolated my whole life and now I'm making an effort to embrace being alone and feeling comfortable with myself before trying to feel comfortable with other people. As you said (more or less), I'd rather be by myself than being with people to just not be alone. Even with other people around, I've always felt lonely.
I'm 34!!!!! years old and I had a pretty isolated childhood, followed by a decade of abusive men that limited who I could see. To say I have no friends is such an understatement. I have plenty of friendly aquaintences, but it always seems like I put more value on a relationship that the other person/s. They have a group, and I don't fit in there, so I am the sometimes-we-hangout friend for soooooo many people. And the truth is - all these people bore me. It took me a long time to realize, but I can't put energy in to people who I don't actually vibe with. But now I don't vibe with anyone. I try to make being a Loner my thing, I try to make it appealing. I see folks online having a fun life with their friends, I see you making a video about having no friends and then going to Europe with your best friend. I am left behind in all of this. I spent years learning to love myself, I am my own best friend, its just not enough. 😢
Just wanting to say I can relate. Many comments are of younger people and I used to think "it'll change with time" but now I'm 33 and it never really did. I think learning to see the good in your lifestyle definitely helps, but we also need to be more proactive in getting what we need. For years I just sat at home crying and complaining. That wasn't helpful, obviously. Then I spent a few years trying to attend classes, events and activities to meet new people there. It helped a little, but at our age it's really hard to make new friends this way. You end up with acquaintances that cut contact as soon as the activities are over. Not to mention, they are "normal", you're alone, it's hard to really connect with anyone. What I would like to do now is create a platform for lonely and/or socially anxious people. A place where people can meet others who are like them and connect more easily. I just don't know where to start and how it could work out, but it's been on my mind since the pandemic. All the best to you, it's normal to feel helpless but don't give up! :)
@@gianellab.4953 I hope you do create a platform like that, it would help people tremendously the more we become isolated from each other. I'm in the 30s age group too
You don't need too many friends you just need a couple of good friends.
i had one friend from grade 10. she was my best friend. she knew just how to handle me and accepted me for who i am. but i changed school after that and got busier with my studies. and she's been missing classes and going out, and having fun. i see her have fun with her new friends that i don't even know about. i have called her so many times but she never picked the call. and it just made me sad. and i did make 2 more friends but they stopped talking to me cuz they got offended for literally nothing at all. and ignored my existence. and i have literally cried for an hour straight as i got home. and i DON'T cry that easily. it just feels like they didn't even care and then i started doubting my worth. so.. yeah. i don't know if i am capable of making friends cuz it just fails all the time
Stop doubting yourself it's them who left you, not you and you shouldn't care as well if they can be careless about you then why are you feeling worthless for someone who doesn't realizes your worth your value?? Make new friends start socializing and yes never doubt your worth for someone who made you go through this, your existence matters :)
You've got this💪
@@hobissprite2537 oh my gosh, u read my rant. i will try to make new friends. i think that friendship is one of the best things this world has to offer. it will take some time tho :/ but thank u so much for this
@@casandralineji thanks :)
sometimes it's not you tho- trust me there are people who are so set in their older friendships and wont let new people in so its harder to make friends when your older
I think it's the combo of misconceptions as to what friendships supposed to look like (we're bombarded by sitcoms with main characters in their 30s but spend their lives 24/7 with their friends) and social media boosting this fomo culture.
To me friendship is even more complicated than romantic relationships. There's no breaking up or anything, if you drift apart it just happens. Add that to constantly seeing friendship posts online and how people are hanging out and having the best times of their lives. It really screws your mind
I actually been isolated for like 3 years so this explains why I don’t even know how to interact with people like I used to.
Honestly the thought that they're billions of people in the world yet so many people feel lonely and unable to connect with others is really so bizarre to me
Depression and anxiety made me completely isolate myself from everyone when I was 15, I stopped going to school and naturally over time I lost contact to most of my friends. And as a result of that I fell into even deeper depression and it stayed like that for 5 years until pretty much this year. Not having anyone to talk to my age for such a long time has made me forget who I am as a friend, if that makes sense. I'm currently learning how to be myself around people my age again. It was never like I pretended to be someone else or anything like that, I just didn't know what kind of person I was anymore aside from the me that sits in her room and watches youtube and tv shows. I didn't know what to talk about, what to do, how to behave, how to have fun.
I still don't have that emotional deep connection that I so long for with anyone right now. But I at least have found a friend that I'm meeting very frequently and I think with effort, it has the potential to develop into something beautiful.
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through this, cause it surely does feel like it sometimes.
Hugs and support for u 💕💕
@@b.curupira4683 thank you 💖
I’m in this exact situation at the moment. Any advice?
hey, do if you got nobody to talk.. I will offer you to be my friend. if you respond to this I'll give you my snapchat if you have that! ;) my myself is friendless.. I have like 1 online friend, and the rest are family.. so it hurst
I have almost the same exact experience as you. I distanced myself from all of my friends because of anxiety depression caused by a disorder i still face today. I was around 13 when I started losing all of my friends and the ones i still had/made were unhealthy ones, started from my insecurities. I wasn’t aware of what I was doing to myself at the time. All I was focusing on was self preservation and surviving. After all these years I still mourn those friends and relationships i’ve lost due to my mental state. How I miss those friends and having friends. I’m also experiencing what you are. Forgetting how to be a friend and act after locking yourself up in your room for years. I’m slowly learning day by day and hope that one day i’ll be at the place I want to be!
Even tho I never had friends I never felt lonely.
If you feel like you are not worthy of being loved by other people just start loving yourself, that's the only love you need in this life and it's the only love that will stay with you until the day you die. Everything else is just temporary and fades away after some time.
Love seeing you and Alivia together. It’s super wholesome and your friendship is so beautiful 💕
This made me remember my old days when I used to be really goofy and outgoing. I had a pretty big friend circle that time but now that I am quite introverted, quiet and shy, I rarely have any friends. However, being the top student of the class some people still are "friends" with me. Currently, I have only two friends with whom I am not super close as I don't open up a lot to people but they still matter a lot to me.
Crazy how everything changes without us even realising it, until we look back.
This reminds me a lot of me last year. I was really insecure and lonely back then. I felt awful and insecure whenever I saw large groups of friends together. It reminded me of my lack and loneliness. However, now, I finally got myself back on my feet. I'm surrounded by a lot of good friends. It will get better if you're going through a tough time right now and feeling insecure about having no friends. It's so worth it in the end.
how did you made friends? right now, i'm taking care of myself, everyday i'm trying to love myself and be the best version, but i dont have anyfriends
Yeah, any tips?
To all people. Be friend with your sibling, if you can. My sister is my best friend and I'm so glad she is.
This has been one of the most relatable episodes yet.. this is what I’ve learned just recently friendships like any other relationship take time and effort from both sides, understanding each other, having fun with each other, etc. if they aren’t caring about you but you are about them, it’s not worth it! Or if they aren’t bad talk to them about it and it they don’t understand your wishes then they really aren’t worth it to be friends with them. Communication is key
The thing is, most people always view friendships are lesser than romantic relationships, when in reality it is just as important! This is one of the reasons I had to let go of some friends. They never put in effort while giving their all to whoever they are dating at that time, which imo is not only illogical but also very disrespectful!
communication!! honestly theres so much truth in this
I’m still trying to find a friend which I can feel comfortable around and feel like I deserve to be friends with them and you give me hope💕
Hey. What anime is your profile pic from? It looks nice.
@@matthewconnor6561 Its not from a anime is from a game:) Also the character name is Klee :)
I appreciate so much how open, honest, and vulnerable you are in this series. You're raising ideas and questions I had never thought of, and encouraging some of my owl self-reflection and growth
I knew as soon as I read the title that this would be a video to watch. I finished uni a year ago and have struggled with coming to terms with the end of friendships since high school. Especially since now that student life is over, it seems like the opportunities to make friends have passed by and there's nothing to show for it. This video is full of wisdom and so many integral bits of detail and it makes me feel a lot better about where I am right now. All the best Zoe and I hope you live your best life with those deserving of the title of your friend. You continue to create content that is both inspirational and eye-opening and I wish you nothing but success and happiness as you continue to flourish and experience living life as an adult.
Idk, i just accepted myself as I'm - no friends, no relationships - and stopped caring. I have my family & colleges to talk to tho. But I know that my views are too different from anyone else so genuine connection is impossible. That's a normality in my world. I'm content following the things I like, making the things my way and not compromising. That takes ba- no, BALLS to to admit. But I'm sacrificing validation and belonging in order to achieve authenticity.
Zoe, I can't believe that someone as wholesome as you has had this experience too. Thanks for talking abt it. I previously thought maybe there's something wrong with me for feeling so lonely at times. 😅
I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU. Your healing diares series got me feeling better about me n my problems, gave me a new perspective about things and made me saw a way out from my situational depression. Again, thank you for doing this and please continue to make this videos, it's really helping a lot of people out there 💘💘
This video was so relatable😢, I had so many friends in high school but we all grew apart and now I don’t have any friends and it’s so hard to make meaningful connections with anyone, especially since I work from home….I get so jealous seeing other people my age having solid groups of friends to hangout with, I feel so lonely all the time and I wish I wasn’t so shy to go out and make friends🙃💔
When ur an adult, you will realize that people don’t always hang out with some people because they enjoy it or want to. Sometimes it’s just forced because of the situation. For example, you may not like ur co workers but u have to talk to
Them or hang out.
And it’s ok even if you don’t want friends. My best friend is my husband and I have no desire to make other friends because I’m satisfied with my husband as being my best friend. I realized through meeting people as adults that most people aren’t even social. They just act like it. I go to parties and most people don’t even know what to talk about. It’s all stupid small talk….
I guess my point is, it’s ok to be shy or not have many feiends. As you grow older, u will realize who are the most important people are in your life. You don’t have to be jealous of people who have “a lot of friends”.
Going to Europe on a whim is relatable to you?
Zoe, this is one of your most relatable, real, and relevant video yet to me, and many others. It's strange that in this era now we could connect more than ever without the hassle of going places or waiting, yet there are more people than ever who feel loneliness and lack of friends.
You eloquently explained the misconceptions of a platonic relationship so so well, it's exactly what I needed to change in order to be happy with myself. And how we need to be our own friends first, oh my god these two points are so important! During times i feel like no one made an effort to know me and how I was, I was able to look out of myself from another perspective, that is of someone who cared for me. It made me realize I must allow myself to see I'm worthy of their love and have a voice amongst them. That's what a true friend would want. Then it was easy from there to filter who are my friends, and who are my platonic "soulmates".
It's interesting really, sometimes your "soulmates" won't look like friends. They don't make the efforts you see in shows or movies, it could disappoint you so much but you know you need them, to the question if they need you has another time to be answered. As long as you know they would do nothing to hurt you and acknowledge your thoughts, it's enough proof they care for you entirely. So thank you Zoe, for once again putting REAL into real life
You and Alivia are soulmates ❤ it’s amazing you both love storytelling and have similar passions. I’m currently going through something similar to when you were lonelier where I don’t have friends passionate in creating. Would love to meet with a fellow AAPI creator with a tech background, Zoe! And if anyone’s a creator in SoCal, lmk 😍
love ur vids!
@@cakestronaut2205 Aw thank you!! 😊
Wow I didn’t know so many ppl could relate to this! I totally feel you btw! Everything that Zoe has sheared on this channel is unbelievablely close to my one life!
thankyou for posting this❤it’s always good to know that someone is experiencing and growing in the same situation
I also don't have any real friends
Girl I ain’t got no genuine friends either! When I get friends over time I realize we just don’t click like I want us to. But i believe one day we all will find the right person or people 🤍 your alone season is about YOU. In my case I have had people traumatize me & stab me in the back so I think taking time to yourself to heal & become happier will bring the right people
You’re the exact type of girl who I would be so insecure to try befriend her. That’s how good you are perceived
Your storytelling, editing and video creation skills are top notch Zoey.
This explains how she’s so reflective and insightful 🤍 your videos are so content rich of wisdom. It’s sad you’ve suffered so much and probably have your moments of suffering even now. All I can say is that the world is a better place because of you.
The way you look at Alivia really shows how much you love and appreciate her, it's really amazing
I just wanted to say these videos are so so helpful to me, I feel like you talk about things that most people go through in college but no one talks about
I’m so glad I found your channel 🥲 it’s really helping me cope. I feel like I’m hitting rock bottom & I don’t know how to pull myself out. & it’s even sadder when you have family & a so called friend but they barely support you or care if you live or die in your depression. It feels like I’m surrounded by ppl who don’t care about me. & I try to help myself but sometimes you need a little help just to do THAT. & nobody cares…On top of having no parents & 3 children to raise. I just feel so helpless idk what to do 💔
way to make me cry, zoe 😭 but anyway, thank you for being so raw and honest. i think i'm ready to begin my healing process
I was Alivia's subscriber before yours. I watched her glowup diaries season 1 since the beginning. It felt like I watched her growing. Seeing you two makes me happier the most cuz I kinda feels that I watched you to growing mature. Words can't describe how happy I feel seeing you two being the safe place for each other. ♥️
Thank you so much Zoe for making this video, it has made me feel so much better to know that I am not the only person struggling with depression and loneliness. I recently moved and I’m at an all girls school where no one even notices me. 😅 It has been about 9months since the move and I still haven’t spoken to anyone. This video hits so close to home and I’m so happy you made this. It really made my day ❤
Zoe’s newest videos are everything, I love being able to see and understand everything she’s been through, it honestly feels like therapy!!! Besides, the topics discussed by her are all things that I’ve personally experienced so I just connect in a magical way with this videos 💗💗💗 xx zoe!
Thank you. Honestly. Even though it's not a super long video I feel like I have learnt so much. You have given me a whole new perspective that I think I was missing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
this hits deep man....only this morning i was thinking about this...livng alone can be tough at times....rooting for you Zoe!
This video was edited sooo well so beautifully!!!!
Also this whole message and journey is understandable for me personally as there are all kinds of people going through different journeys and we do get to come across similar ones from across the world thanks to the internet.
Thank you so much for being raw and genuine and for sharing this topic and for your awesome creativity with it.
the timing couldn’t be more perfect, i’ve been feeling like this deeply these days
I'm always looking for these healing diaries, they're amazing. Having a best friend, someone you truly admire and love, who you can speand hours and hours talking to and time goes fast is the best thing, i feel isolated now, since i mooved with my parents to another state and now i can't visit my friend, it's been awful. Having people like that is truly a blessing.
ALIVIA OMG. I'm so happy rn AHHHH
I've missed her so freaking much 😫😫😫
After reading everyone comments, I got to know that I'm not alone. Just remember that being with a group of toxic people is better to be alone.
i love the raw emotions as well as thoughts in this. i once felt lonely, too. i don’t as much now. may we both heal & get better
This series is beautiful and is so healing. Thank you for speaking the truths we are all afraid to!
I haven't given up hope of finding true friendship yet, and you're the reason why. We love you 🥺❤
Love this video and it hits right home. Thank you Zoe you really are unlimited!
I'm speechless.. not many words to exchange but the energy of this film was felt. Thank you for your transparency, sending you so much love and light! 🥺🤧🫂🤍🙏🏽💫
Your videos are eye opening. They changed my whole life and my outlook on it. Listening to the advice of people who have struggled with problems similar to yours is extremely helpful and gives hope for change. Thank you so much ♡ ♡ ♡
23 and have no friends. Between covid, going to school at a community college, deeply valuing my individuality and alone time, and working jobs where my coworkers are almost exclusively middle aged to elderly ladies, I have nobody in my life my own age. I’ve made friends in the past and I know I’ll make them again, it’s just kinda embarrassing to not have any friends right now and I don’t even know where to start looking for new ones in my 20s
Thank you for uploading this!! I was currently scrolling videos here at RUclips sadly after seeing my friends from my old school hanging out including my bff.. i saw it at her instagram story...I was really sad because i feel left out..I constantly keep on reminding myself that it's okay but the fact that my bff 'left out' me, she hanged out with other people by going to the mall, shopping (we never got to do that) still makes me sad and lonely... her friends are pretty which also made me feel insecure.. my parents are there to give me emotional support so I'm thankful for them... now that I have onsite classes at my new school, it saddens me more to see my new classmates laughing and hanging out, being close to each other...it made me jealous... but this video will surely help me to heal me... so, again, thank you very much
I recently just moved to the U.S and I am about to get into college full-time (in January), and watching this....I haven't been able to admit to anyone how lonely and confused and disoriented I feel. I feel out of order and no matter how I try to convince myself that I am enough, I still can't see past the act that I am an outsider, a thorn in the side. Seeing you talk about this however, and sitting through it is my first step towards admitting it, which I would like to believe is a step towards healing. Thank you Zoe. You're amazing❤
I really really respect you.... Thank you for being so truthful and vulnerable..... On internet, tbh, it helps me a lot too to go through my problems 🙇♀️
5:48 I haven’t finished watching this video essay but so far this hits the hardest for me. I never thought of loving yourself in such a way. This phrase has uncomplicated things for me, thank you.
I swear to god, your videos guide me the way through my teens and protect my mental health from all those bad thoughts that every now and then come to my mind. I wish to one day treat myself in the exact way that you treat yourself. Working on it 😊 Love you ❤❤
I cried because this hits home, thanks for sharing this with us and for being vulnerable ❤
I relate to this 100% especially now in Uni. People really do come and go in my life. I also would rather not associate with people whom I don't share the same mindset or values with so more often than not, that leads to me not making friends that last
First of all, you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous!
Second, thank you for this video! I’m a single child and we moved a lot through out my childhood, so I really struggle with human connection! This video definitely made me think! Could you maybe upload the entire chat where Olivia is driving? For me, the most interesting parts came from that conversation and I’d love to learn more from it!
You really look genuinely happy whenever you’re with Alivia 💕
the way i needed this and needed to see this. thank you. truly.
This is why I’m glad I have a twin. Completely agree with the stupidly trivial sharing, we both do that so much and because we grew up together, our sense of humour (dark humour lmao) is the same and we don’t feel offended even if it’s an offensive topic.
I suppose I'm not in a bad position, since I have a circle of uni friends and one of old high school friends that I cherish a lot. It's just that the old friends seem closer to their new ones, and my new ones seem to be closer with their old ones, and I feel stuck in this weird adaptation cycle in which I can't fully figure out my place. At the end of the day I'm surrounded by great people that I can talk to transparently about everything, so I shouldn't complain. It's just that it would be nice to have the soulmate friend that everyone seems to have found already I guess
2:01 - what a beautiful shot. Great video, as always. Thank you for being so open with us!!!
This video is so beautiful to me because sisterhood and community it general is so important to me and I honestly believe everyone should has and should have their person/people. Genuinely happy you found your person ❤
This video hits so hard. I was really struggling with loneliness but didn't rlly know how to fix it and I also felt ashamed that I was struggling with this when there were so many other people who have more severe problems in their life. I am currently in my "experiment" stage where I am figuring out ways to feel less lonely by catching up with old friends and initiating the hang outs with old and new friends. Thanks so much for this video Zoe
Your problems are just as severe as anyone elses. Emotional needs are important.
Few youtubers put such raw content about themselves. Thank you, that takes courage to do that.
I love you so much for this. ❤️ Thank you thank you thank you for existing ❤️ your videos give me life ❤️ PS: I literally always get the feeling that I have no friends and have struggled with this for a long time
I RELATE TO THE CALLING SOMEONE TO SHARE THE MOST TRIVIAL THINGS AND ASKING FOR HELP WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU OWE THEM
I actually cried so much during this video, you two are so cute together
I already relate to this so much even though I haven't even watched the video yet. I'm almost in high school, and I'm surrounded by many friends. I get scared when I think of the future. The older you are, the harder it is to keep friendships I heard. Knowing that in the future, I may be lonely sometimes makes me sad. However, I'm glad to know that I have meaningful friends with me. I really hope we stay in touch throughout high school and beyond. I'm going to try to make as many good friends as I can, ones that will be there for me when I'm at my loneliest.
You won't hangout as much as you do during highschool. But true friendship can withstand time. It's surprising how some groups can pick up where they left off, so i think that's what makes me think of a strong friendship
This was a great video! I'm 25 now and I feel like I just made my first friend ever just two weeks ago. I always felt alone and lonely even when ppl were around like you said to the point I just wanted someone to love me so I would take any type of friendship or form of relationship but it wasn't until 2020 that I had to sit down and realize, I don't have friends. I never felt I matter to anybody that much and after my bestfriend ghosted me in last year 3 days before my birthday, I felt even more alone. 10 years gone but it felt like a relief because part of me felt she didn't want to be my friend anyways. So I had to really think about what is a friend? How to be it? etc and I realize I have no clue how to be one for myself so I am still doing that myself. I finally put myself back out there last month and met this wonderful human who I feel like we been friends forever but its only been 3 weeks. I hope to run into a few more ppl like that but until then, I am still going to learn how to be my own friend.....truly this time.
I swear losing friends is like going through the 7 stages of grief. It's absolutely painful, especially if you were somewhat the cause of the falling out. Anyways, great video! I really did enjoy it
When I feel so bad & hopeless come to see your healing diary,, you're such an incredible woman.
I just hope I find friends like you described some day. I usually feel unsafe with people, like I'm walking on thin ice and it's exhausting.
I was always a big fan of Alivia for years and she helped me with growing up and then I found your channel and it helped me grow too. I always could see you both were longing to find that real friendship. And then seeing that u two found each other warms my heart. It gives me hope that I'll find real friendship too. Cause I always related to you both and its so magical that you found each other. Its making me tear up. Cause now I have this sudden hope I haven't felt about friendship since I was a little girl
Your videos are so comforting 😭I loved this!
"I need to be a friend to myself first"... I needed that!
I never leave comments but I have to. I want to thank you for this video…I opened it to just watch another girl cry to I guess live through her sadness to forget about mine, but I got the opposite..I got help I needed..as I’ve been struggling with the same exact thing…you helped me immediately appreciate new friendships I made recently and I learned that it’s ok to let go when you dont click with the people you wanted to click so badly. It just means they are not for me, and maybe it’s not because I’m not able to give them enough attention but maybe it’s because they are not able to give me the energy I need from them. And it’s a very important lesson to learn.
I feel the exact same way.
We can be friends if you want i can give you my Pinterest 💜
I love you Zoe. Your videos are incredibly well made and your words never miss. Keep shining your light, beautiful soul.
thank you so much for this video. for the transparency. you two have a beautiful relationship and seeing how you light up around each other makes me warm inside. i hope to find that kind of platonic love soon!!🥺❤🩹
I was alone too, but then i found the real friend in my school one year ago, i was alone for like 8 years. The loneliness started when i was 6 years old and now im 14, i know it was a hard time and i know how it feels to be alone for a long time, im sorry for you!💗💗