@@martijnkoning3354 And you grow into the person THEY want you to be. That IS growing together, but more importantly, growing FOR each other. It's two people being completely selfless for the sake of the other. That's what a relationship is supposed to be.
@@trajectoryunown no its not. You help each other grow yes, but into a better version of the person you already are, not into a person someone else wants you to be. Thats toxic as fuck
Don't worry, God will send you someone who will love you and respect you and be there for you, that is why you are single. I felt exactly like you, then i met my boyfriend 3 years ago. We are still together and we plan to get married. He is my first boyfriend and my true and only love
Well love is not smth can be earned or deserved. So basically...yes. It is like "I just want the rain now, is that too much for ask?". I mean, it doesn't make you a bad person, if it doesn't rain)
Right! People overrate sex. What if I love all people as a whole? Why I should minimize it just to regular-degular sexual relationship with a man which will be over anyways (when the sexual attraction is over?)
isnt that what we mean by friendship?? its a relationship where people share a bond i mean that is exactly what her story said and stop with this lgbt aro ace stuff all you are doing is makin a depressed person make stupid decisions
Someone once told me "Do not lower your expectation because your standards are not being met" and it allowed me to be on my own for a while before i found the right partner for me.
Well you know what? That should have been preached even more for societal expectations too, but the price could be hefty: your livelihood. Smh, but painfully real. Low-quality society also downs your chance to have the right partner, friends, and again the livelihood. Great society/civilization makes great partnerships thus makes great pillars of the community, and it takes that to raise a good human being (or any living being actually), no less.
I lowered my standards and my first ever boyfriend that I had at 17 S/A’ed me so I’m NEVER lowering standards ever again and if I’m lonely for a bit longer than I am now (20 yrs old) I’m fine with that bc at least I’ll find someone that wouldn’t hurt me or make me question if I should go on with the relationship
When you raise your standards, your dating pool decreases, so naturally it'll take longer to find a partner... but at least that partner will be the right fit :)
But the thing is this is true for some country and some places..in places like my mine..if i won't i am gonna end up alone for the rest of my life.infact i am kindda good enough in every thing but it's so hard for me to get a guy .be it right or wrong..idk what's wrong with me..tbh it's so hard to find a guy to match my way of thinking..and samrtness
You cant wait. Its about trying and failing and trying again until it works. Ofc I cant judge since I don't know if you are passive or not. Best of luck tho
It’s the “hyperfantasization” of love and romance from growing up in such a media exposed age that’s lead to unrealistic expectations for our love lives. It works in tandem with our unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Thankfully, our generation values friendships deeply, and with such support from relationships with people that accept us for who we are, we can work towards recontextualizing what it means to love and be loved.
Nah. Men are just failing to meet women's needs and interests (like being romantic instead of explicit) - you act like the world wasn't just a little more romance-focused and had more romantic gestures more commonly in the 50's and earlier. The era when men acted a gentleman. It's reflected in how pg13 the lyrics in pop music were. Now it's just explicit degrading sht in rap videos. Women don't have unrealistic expectations - and some women's lives _are_ filled with romance. It could just be that Zoe is not socializing with enough men to have those opportunities (any woman who's a pure homebody is gonna complain that no man ever approaches her). Apart from living LA and LA culture - what's affecting her chances? Mind you, women are delivering on their end (satisfying men's need for s#x) for men of this generation to feel like they're in paradise: how common is non-committal s#x in this hook up culture? Men are sleeping with new women on the regular. But since many men are selfish they're not interested in satisfying women's needs, which is romance and romantic gestures. But if you were speaking of m e d I a that's degrading women rather the stereotypical romcoms then my bad and I misunderstood you.
@ville__ I mean it is and it isn’t. Some people are “late bloomers” and some people just have no care for the matter. And doing personal things and not exactly a sensual feeling. Ace people can still be intimate but it doesn’t mean they do it for themselves, but rather for their partner which is a choice to be In that relationship.
@ville__are you stupid? I thought we where over this. Being queer isn't a choice. That's like saying you chose to be born with blue eyes, or with a dark skin tone.
Movies warped your idea of men Sounds like most of you need to lower your expectations She even said there were cute and nice guys but she just wanted more lol
@ville__It’s NOT a choice lmao. My friend is Aro-ace and she just *CAN’T* fall in romantic love with anybody. She’s not sad about it because she doesn’t care and doesn’t want a relationship, but she’s literally born unable to be romantically attracted to anyone. Just like lesbian’s or gay’s who can’t control who they’re attracted to, she can’t control her’s either. It’s like telling a gay person their attraction to the same sex is by “choice”.
It took me 23 years to learn that relationships are sometimes about make something work rather than running into the perfect person. So instead of sitting around waiting for the romantic love I've always craved, I started taking myself on dates and showering myself with love 💜(From someone who is also chronically single and obsessed over the idea of a perfect partner)
yea i realise that spark and butterflies only last for a while, you know you find the one when both of you make the effort to make it work. emphasis on BOTH
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
We are wired to have partners, so this just feels like a strange coping mechanism Harvard literally proved that relationships are the greatest predictor of happiness in human existence. So lacking a partner smothers an entire side of your existence with a gaping void, whether we accept it or not
@corpsefoot758 I mean there are different kinds of relationships that can fulfill your life but when people say this they're often referring to the idea that you shouldn't date for the sake of it because you're more likely to be in worse relationships which can make your life a lot worse. It's better to be single and wait for someone to come along that's good for you instead of depressing yourself over someone who clearly wasn't (but, of course, if you're not used to relationships, it will inevitably feel like the end of the world, unlike when you're older and more experienced and can handle not getting together with someone)
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
never change yourself for a guy. he should love you the way you are. if a guy is trying to make me work hard to be his girlfriend, i move on to the next boy instantly
This video literally made me tear up. As a girl in her early 20s that has never experience romantic love but wants to so badly (and also doesn't want to at the same time) I felt so understood. I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship, but what I do know is that I'm so lucky to have truly experience the love of friendship being this young 💕
I feel like we want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons, it's mostly because we want to do just like the others or because we're so drowned out by romance in series, books, and even in real life, that we feel like we're not normal because we haven't yet experienced love. So we pressure ourselves and even sometimes get scared thinking about the fact that maybe we would never find love. But everybody do, one day or another. I mean I don't know any adult who has never been in a relationship. But the older you get, the more pressure you put on yourself. And it's, let's be honest, only because of the societal scenery that only emphasizes love, marriage and children. That's why it's for the wrong reasons, cause we don't really want it (as you said it yourself), we do it unconsciously for others.
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
@@thelegion2184 why would we lower our standard ? I don't wanna be with someone that I don't like or that don't have the same center of interest or values. I won't accept the first one who gives me a little bit of attention. I'm not that desperate. I respect myself and you should too, so please don't do that.
I’m in a domestic violence relationship. Let me say one thing. When you see red flags in the early stages walk away. It’s better to leave and be alone and try again. Once you’re fully in the abusive relationship and the cycles of abuse start, it’s almost impossible to get out. I have been trying to leave for a year now. Please please please make sure you pay attention. If you’re in the UK, you can call the police using Clare’s law to find out if the person you are interested in has any dv charges.
I know you feel trapped but you aren’t, you can leave it is just going to be very very hard. Do you have a supportive family? If so pls tell them. Once you admit you partners behaviour it’s a step forward
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
i feel like all girls have gona through this phase at least once in their lifetime when u fantasize a relationship with someone who is not worth it but at the end u realise its yourself who u need to pour the love. The feeling after u realise is unreal and truly amazing ❤
I disagree. I think self-love is massively overrated. Yes, it's important, but it totally pales in comparison to giving love to and receiving love from another person. Interdependence >>>> independence.
Feels illegal to be this early... But this is super relatable... Never had a boyfriend but tbh I never felt a need to have one. After a point, I started feeling FOMO and wanted to have a lover too... Now I realise that I never really had a desire to date but wanted to feel included in the society. I'm actually willing to wait for THE ONE even if it's gonna take a while...
Not so long ago, I really thought that I finally fell in love with a boy... Turns out I was actually just in love with the fact to be with someone that loved me, giving me the illusion to love myself through him.
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
When I met my fiancée, both of us didn't love each other at the beginning 😂 We met, because we both were dedicated to find a partner for life. We both were hurt too many times, so at the first date we discussed kids, family and plans for furure. I wold say, I startedd have a "feelings" to him after a week of us dating? My point is, true love not alway start with a "crush" or "he/she has perfect looks". Sometimes it starts with logical thinking, and you know what? It is okay ❤ All our love stories are unique and that was it makes them special. For all the girls out there, don't follow your heart or mind, follow both. Wish you all love ❤
you say it started with logical thinking but you said you discussed family and kids on the first date? Jumping to end game conversations when you guys have literally no temporal connection in eachother seems very hastey and illogical. I dont know how long you guys have known eachother, but typically after 2 years the honeymoon phase neurochemicals run out. Hopefully your perception of him is real, because it sounds like you guys both did alot of fantasization (judging by the fact you rushed). Try listing out the positive attributes your partner has, but critically ask how unique those attributes are to him? is he really that special? Are those the things you fell in love with?
@ruthnacht well, none of us is "special." We both are awarage people with awarage jobs that were seeking companionship and found each other attractive enough to start a conversation. The reason why we discussed life goals on a first date, mostly in order not to waste each other's time. Over time, we fell in love. All I'm saying is that sometimes love story doesn't start with "crush."
@@ruthnachtyou make no sense. Getting the important things out of the way first to ensure you're not wasting your time with someone incompatible is not fantasizing. Does it make more sense to date someone for months and then find out you guys do not want the same things out of the relationship or life? You sound childish
@@kK-iv3hc Because when two people 'are hurt so many times' and then talk about the 'important things first' it implies that it was the priority. Successful relationships (prolonged state of bliss) require connecting on a deeper level. NON of those relationships start from burnt out people settling down. That typically is just people with mediocre chemistry but similar ideals just hedging their bets. Its most of the time honeymoon phase neurochemicals giving the facade of love in that case. No where did they talk about unique characteristics of the individual they fell in love with. I cant stress enough how important it is. Peoples words are just a fragment of the time they said it, its immensly common for things to start off big but then fizzle out with time. Its also similar to how most of my friends parents met, and their parents are all divorced
If you don’t love each other and don’t have chemistry and attraction all the marriage plans will blow up when one of the two falls head over heals with somebody else. Make sure you are both in love and attracted as well
Put yourself out there girlie 💪as long as you got the headspace for it, it’s about putting yourself out there and learning about yourself in the dating scene. Things worth having don’t come easy!
As an aro/ace person I really needed to hear this. I feel like platonic relationships aren’t talked about enough. Since I was a child I’ve felt like I needed to fall in love with someone romantically, when I really didn’t. So thanks for this.
I've been aro/ace until I was 21 and I'm now demi so I was really freaking lost when it came to dating and knowing when I like a person romantically but I've never been in love yet and I'm 27. Im not sure if I'll ever will but that's okay ❤
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
zoe I love your current editing style! I feel like you have gone away from the overstimulating editing to a more aesthetic, calm one and I really love the vibe
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
@@infj4w511One has to invest in all of their relationships (type of relationship does not matter). Relationships are two way streets. All sides put something into the middle.
As a guy thank you again for sharing your experiences, I’ve sometimes felt that “want” to have a partner but I realize that it just makes me see women as a means to an end instead of human beings (the very same mistake so many guys, especially groups like incels, make) and your conclusions have given me something to think about.
Was in my first ever relationship at 25 last year... I was dumped and felt so broken, I cried for weeks barely ate. My friends were even telling me to not mess things up to play it cool when I started dating him. As soon as I brought up something that bothered me, boom dumped in less than a day and this was after I was so vulnerable with this man. First boyfriend, first kiss, first love and he has literally destroyed the confidence and self esteem I worked on. Now I haven't been taking dating seriously, went on a few hinge dates and all of them went nowhere. Till to this day I think of him, how breaking and shattering my heart was just so easy for him and how he moved on so quickly and blocked me. I moved cities I made some new friends rekindled with other older friends and working on myself. I am still working on self love its hard but I am trying. I still wish him the best and I hope he finds a woman he wants.
Posting this was reaaally brave, thank you so much for just showing the truth. I think the ones who have the most difficulties with dating are the ones who need to have strong emotional links with other people to truly want to be with them. It takes a while to find those people, but I swear there are so many amazing, beautiful people out there
I think it's more like people confuse love for infatuation. And to find a partner can take 100 times more work than you think it will. I've known so many people who expect life to come to them but that's not how life works.
I never had a boyfriend until I was 29 years old and I'm 31 now 🥺❣️ it's okay everyone, seriously things take time and it's better not to rush. Some people find love right away and others find it later in life. There's nothing wrong with that. The most important thing is to love yourself before anything 🥺❣️
Yeah.. I’m 30, and same. I feel so inexperienced with this. Yet I’m so successful in other parts of my life. Being single is easier but it’s hard going on trips by myself ALL the time. Sometimes I want a male friend for.. stress relief 😂 it’s hard being a girl boss.
this is something i needed to hear.. as a 16yo female, i am constantly hyperfantasisizng wether i should have a partner, or i crave the intimacy of a dating relationship, where i want to kiss someone or hug someone, but thats all because i crave that closness and comfort because i within myself cannot feel comfort in my own skin, i cannot love myself back so i search for the minimum attention and search for the lowest standards just for somone to notice me.
Waiting for the right one is a form of self love & respect. It’s how others know how you love by seeing how you treat yourself. Also, the perfect person doesn’t exist but the one for you will do their best!
just knowing that i am not alone is this makes me feel better already, i am too desolved by the idea that only love can complete me, so weird that you can have toxic relationship with the idea of love and not the actual person sometimes
I love this video so much. I only met my husband after I started loving and respecting myself. It was a long way to understand that you have to love yourself in order to be respected and loved by others. This video is a perfect description of life.
Spent all Christmas with every cousin and every friend in happy and fulfilled relationships. Binge ate and threw up constantly all holidays because I was overcome with such self-hatred. Thanks for making this video Zoe ! Guess I’m not alone.
hey! this showed up in my recommended and i felt sending a little love to all you guys. from a dude who has spent years looking for a queen, i will tell you all that finding your person certainly isn't as easy and simple as we wish it could be sometimes, but there's no need to worry :) go with the flow and work on being the best version of yourself personally, and i promise you that your soul mate will come eventually. i've spent a good long time working on myself physically, mentally, going to therapy, and making sure i'm making enough income to support whomever comes into my life, because in order to find a queen, i need to be a king first. i'm rooting for all of you guys!! best of luck with the journey :)
I’ve never been in a relationship. I feel like I could pretty easily be in one if I wanted to, but that’s not what I desire. I want to be with someone I truly love and vibe with, and in my opinion this is different, and more difficult to archive. My moments of solitude are both something precious and a curse. I enjoy being by myself, but sometimes it kinda hurts. But overall I don’t think it hurts me enough to let someone enter easily this little place of peace I built for myself.
Something that applies to me is that I like when my boyfriend is my boy best friend. At the moment everyone things that my boyfriend is my brother (we look alike) or my best friend because we have such a vibrant vibe with each other. It's so much fun when you can express yourself to your bf the way you express urself with your friends. I think it's importants because you don't feel anxious or self-conscious at all!!
You don’t even understand how much this video meant to me, just finished it. I did get teary eyed, but You made me realize a lot. I’ve grown to love myself but not fully. I’ve been hurt many times too many to count, and I’m still pretty cautious when it comes to being with someone. I’ve been single for about four years now, and it sucks but I’ve learned to live with it. Thank you so much, I really needed this video ❤❤
Zoe, love your content generally, but this one especially hits different. as someone in my early 20s, i never got to experience romantic love. no one had a crush on me and i made myself believe that i don’t want relationships anyway. yet deep down i always felt bad for never being a loved girl. i wish we could make a girls’ group with all the girls in the comment section and encourage each other in our journey of self love. much love
I just want to express how much your content helps me when I feel down. Not in the "easy access dopamine" way, no. You give me hope for myself. Thank you so much for sacrificing so much and putting yourself out there on the internet for people like me.
Most of what you said is universal. You will only receive the amount love that you have given to yourself. Don't seek love in someone. This will only give the other person power to break you.
this came at the right time. I am in love w someone for 3 years, and they love me back very much, but due to personal trauma and immaturity cant commit. I know how it sounds, but trust me it's deep. I am slowly realizing how unfair it is to me, and although my love for them will never die, Im starting to dislike that person. I just hope we could be friends forever, but that makes me extremely uninterested in dating anyone else, just for fun. I don't feel comfortable w anyone besides them. Idk how to get out, without getting out
Stay away from playing games and people who play games, those types of relationships don't last. Remember there is no perfect guy or girl, everyone has flaws. Just be yourself, if a man does not like this then it won't work out anyway. You are stuck on a guy who is not interested in anything other than a hookup, if they ghost and ignore you like that move on you are just wasting time.
That’s just not true about games. If you had bad experience don’t discourage other people. If you love playing games and meet other people online it’s totally fine
@@atie3218you misunderstood lol. They’re not talking about online/video games. They’re talking about people who “play games” with others by being inconsistent, manipulative or wishy-washy in their behaviour.
The pandora hearts references brought so many memories back from my teenage years... Girl, you are not alone. 22 here and never been loved romantically. I am learning to see my value and my worth. The one advice that I can give you: do not chase after love. Romantic love and relationships are not achievements to show off as people like to think. There is so much more to life, so much more to explore and experience, than sitting around thinking why it doesn't happen with the one guy who obviously is not interested in you. You are loved! You are very very loved.
Just wanted to say, I'm very thankful you decided to put this part your life out there for the Internet to see 💕 it can be really helpful to someone who is living through something similar
If people weren't obsessing over romance and sex so much, we would all be more loving towards one another in general and platonic and familial relationships would be equally appreciated instead of treated as just insignificant placeholders. Growing into true healthy long-lasting love is way more important than "falling" in love and then act confused that your heart is in shambles.
No we wouldnt at all moron. In your case if it wasnt about sex and Romance, everyone would become Asexual and not give a shit about relationship whatsoever.
In a situationship, which has been like living in a stupid echo chamber; wanting to give it my all, but also not feeling like it will be reciprocated and wasting my time. I have a healthy friend group, and hobbies. Felt like texting him, but didn't want to emotionally spiral, so did something useful with my time instead. You girlies got this! Try to have a fulfilled life without a partner. Good friends are a MUST! Also, I fell you when you say there are no "feelings" for said person. I always fall for the ones that are unattainable. 😩
Why do girls nowadays do “situationships”? Why? Simply don’t interact at all with men after they make it clear they don’t want to be official with you.
@@FoundSheep-AN I think the same reason men do. Hope. People hope that if they try hard enough and keep pleasing the other person, eventually the other person will see they are partner material and make it official. There is also fear; fear of never being able to find something again if you let it go. Abusers use this all the time and it can have a powerful hold on people, because at the end of the day, lots of people are illogical when it comes to the emotions and so what may seem as simple as leaving to some, may not be to the people trapped there.
This was so beautifully and artistically done. I think this is so relatable in many women’s lives. From a young age, I feel like women are taught in the movies we watch and the media we are fed, that the perfect man will fix everything and bring us value and that once we have them, it’s all happily ever after. Thank you for sharing your journey and experience and being so open and vulnerable about what it means to find self love and finally treating yourself the way you wanted to be loved by “the perfect boy”. You are absolutely spectacular and deserve all the love in the world ❤
I live the same day everyday. I stay home and only leave to go to the grocery store or gym. I cannot fathome the idea of going on a date. I don't mind living alone, I don't mind the loneliness, but the feeling of being alone and NOT being able to change that kills me. I'm sorry life is going hard for you
I love you omg this is amazing. Like I have felt growing up with all of my friends in relationships has forced me to think that I need to have one. Which is false! I hate that society tells us that waiting or not loving like that isn’t allowed
I waited for 28 years, only to get married, arranged by my parents. 4 months later, i am filing for divorce (he's a gambling addict in huge debt). I realize that the beauty of love we create in our heads is more comforting than expecting that from a real person. But i do believe that there are people who found that living amongst us. I am not looking for it, but i do have hope & wish for it. Cheers, to the lucky ones ✨
In this day and age i honestly admire you. It's better to stay single and a virgin, than to hook up with all type of men. It just shows that you respect yourself
I usually never really comment on videos... but this one is definitly special. I suppose this is the kind of videos I would rewatch when in need of a reminder that selflove is what I should ALWAYS seek for in the first place. As someone who used to search for so long for validation from men, peers, and even family, I would really like to thank you very much for your work and content :)
I can relate to this so much. But I mostly know/feel that I'm ok without a relationship, that I probably wouldn't even feel comfortable in one. But the longing is there and it does hurt sometimes.
Thank you for showing this. I've never dated due to being asexual/demi, but it's scary and I'm not skinny, or the standard of pretty. Still, loving yourself is the first step and the ultimate step. Thank you for driving that home. And friends. What a wonderful world to have friends
Hey Zoe, I really missed this kind of video, in which you show us your vulnerability and we see ourselves in you and your experiences inspire us all. Thank you for that. I loved it 💕
My dear ladies who have yet to find love, or whose hearts have been broken by those they loved - it is imperative that you know this truth: you will find love. It simply takes time and perseverance. Keep your eyes peeled and your hearts open, because love will find its way to you sooner rather than later. Never stop believing in its healing ability, for its love is unmatched. You are more than capable of finding and embracing true love. Chin up, my friend - you got this.
I’ve recently started my healing journey as well… and it’s hard. Loving yourself.. Your video touched something in me. I felt seen, so thank you. I’m really looking forward to seeing more episodes in this format. Sending lots of love your way ❤️🩹🌸🌼
Your video really helped me I always felt that something was wrong with me, I wanted to be loved by others, find my love, but I guess I really need to love myself. Thank you so much ❤
I just watched the full video. This is one of my favorites on your channel! The girl you were talking to in 10:03 looks like the girl from “glowing up ruined my life” RUclips video
Im glad i watched this video. Im a teenager that is obsessed with the idea of falling for the right one once im older. This taught me to love myself before loving someone else.
I’m 26 now and recently engaged, I’ve learned that every time I got into a relationship it was when I was working on myself and not looking for a boy. Don’t think about looking for love cause when the time is right, it’ll come find you.
I think a big issue, is your ideal image of the "perfect boy". Yours is entirely looks based and, from the look of it, it seems like you go after one certain type of boy. Once you TRULY love yourself, I believe your idea of what the "Perfect boy" looks like from an appearance perspective starts to fade and then you start to open yourself up to many different types of people as you focus more on the character of each individual you're talking to. From my experience, falling in love with someone doesn't happen when you go on a few dates. Sure, there are sparks that may fly or a continuous piqued interest, but falling in love really happens after your relationship starts to settle down. It happens after that person no longer smells as good as they did the first few dates; after y'all didn't speak for a week because you got into a fight; supporting each other with issues that may involve finances. That's when you fall in love, and you feel strongly about it because you know inside that you still have heart eyes for your significant other even after you no longer get butterflies when you talk on the phone, or they don't smell as fresh as they once did. It's because that stuff becomes irrelevant once you realize that love for each other is the only thing you both share that ACTUALLY matters. So please truly love who you are, and you won't have to search hard for love. It will find you.
This was a bittersweet video to watch. Thanks for being vulnerable with your audience. That was a painful lesson to learn is the one of living and loving for yourself first.
I used to fantasize about romantic relationships, but after I found out that I am asexual (not interested in sex), I accepted that I might not be in relationships for most of my life, and I am fine with that. Some of the people clicking on this video will be aromantic or asexual. Some people never fall in love, and that's okay.
This is beautiful for a person who never been loved 😢 ❤ I been trying and not trying, I been kind and care, sweet and empatic, but all I get is a: "sorry, you are wonderful, but you are not enough" 💔
Some people just don't fall in love. I've dated a lot of guys, no love. I'm 43, I don't date, no bf, never been married, no kids, no pets. Been 7 years of no dating including simple intimacy like hugs or holding hands. Life for me is the same as when I was dating except it's more peaceful now. Would love for a partner, but honestly, I had no idea 7 years has gone by where I was by myself tbh. LOL I wasn't even trying to "find myself" or " do me" or " love myself" I was just living my life and time flew! Maybe when I am 60 and just waiting to die , I'll find a partner. bwhaha. You're in your 20s, you still got decades. I believe in you.
Maybe because as a child I was so devoid of love as a daughter or a friend, and only saw cases of heartbreaks everywhere, I started to love myself in my teens way earlier than anyone of my age normally does... I loved being with myself and cherished Platonic friendship more than anything in my life... I still do... I accept myself as I am, I love the little gestures shows my friends care about me and love me... just love this life without a fear of heartbreak
I was afraid of being too late, not partaking in high school love and entering this new chapter alone- while everybody had experienced so much already. But maybe it’s alright, it will come with time and for now? For now I will keep treasuring the relationships I already have in my life ❤
It can be hard having these feelings of missing out. You wonder if everyone else is so far ahead of you with experience that you could never hope to keep up. I don't think this is true. I am certainly a late bloomer. In school I didn't even really have friends let alone be in a relationship. A few years after leaving school I met my first partner. Like me they had not dated anyone before (well they had dated someone for a week in school but it doesn't really count). There are people out there just like you who will be in a similar position to you, just know there's a chance you make all the same mistakes you might do if you had that first love earlier. It can be a confusing thing to go through and knowing yourself is a good way to stay grounded through it to make sure that relationship stays strong if it is right. The next person had a lot more experience than me. I found that talking about feelings and listening to theirs helped build a stronger relationship. Lots of people who have experience believe they have it all figured out. Maybe they know how to make the approach and start things off but a lot of them are just as clueless as you and it is partly because they don't know how to communicate. My parents didn't end up coming together until middle age. I have seen them grow together and though they fight sometimes, like everyone else, they genuinely love each other. This is all to say that there isn't really a 'too late'.
The way you edit your videos makes it impossible to not watch them finish to end. So so unique! Good for my generations horrible adhd tiktok shorts mentality! :D
Zoe, you're not too quiet or too loud. You're too confident. Now wait. I am not trying to tell you to drop the confidence. Keep being the fabulous queen you are. The wrong men hate confident women. The right men love them, but also be aware of the men who want nothing more than to squash that confidence and to dull that sparkle in your eyes. You don't get approached or anything because you are top tier. The right guy will know to show up with flowers and a crown for only you. ❤️
I think that how you can tell you love someone is not because they give you sparks but because they feel like what home always should have felt like. This goes for friends and family too.
I've realized through countless dates I've found online that what I've personally been missing is the physical meeting of someone you may like. It's completely different than finding someone online because there's so much more that goes into it. You don't know if they like you are not and that's what makes it so much better when they say they do! That's why I've been going out more with friends because even if you don't meet a special someone you at least had an amazing time with friends. Also I would take the online advice with a grain of salt. Your friends know YOU and your situation a lot more than someone behind a screen :)
Episode 2 out now!! ruclips.net/video/D1r3d-TmJzU/видео.html. Hope your day is filled with love.❤🩹🌹p.s. ILY. Thank you for existing.
I love your videos girl keep being real and yourself I love you💕💕
Love you!! 🫶✨
hoping to see an update from this story
you literally described my current situationship… i need to break out of it. thank you zoe❤️
You have a beautiful heart ❤️ This really made my day
Tldr: dont fall in love with an idea of a person, and love thyself.
How about "be willing to change and grow into your spouse's ideal"?
What ever happened to building each other up?
Why's everybody so selfish nowadays?
@@trajectoryunown eryones delusional?
@trajectoryunown ah yes it's def not selfish to want your partner to grow into the dream version YOU want them to be. That's not growing together.
@@martijnkoning3354 And you grow into the person THEY want you to be. That IS growing together, but more importantly, growing FOR each other. It's two people being completely selfless for the sake of the other.
That's what a relationship is supposed to be.
@@trajectoryunown no its not. You help each other grow yes, but into a better version of the person you already are, not into a person someone else wants you to be. Thats toxic as fuck
"i just want someone to love me. Is that too much to ask?"
are the exact same words I wrote in my own diary litteraly 1 week ago... Hits different
🫂❤🩹
Don't worry, God will send you someone who will love you and respect you and be there for you, that is why you are single. I felt exactly like you, then i met my boyfriend 3 years ago. We are still together and we plan to get married. He is my first boyfriend and my true and only love
Well love is not smth can be earned or deserved. So basically...yes. It is like "I just want the rain now, is that too much for ask?". I mean, it doesn't make you a bad person, if it doesn't rain)
If you change a little. "I want someone to love and i want to be loved and respected"
🫶
Girlies we need platonic relationships to be normalized to be just as important as romantic ones, love is so much more than a partner❤️
Right! People overrate sex. What if I love all people as a whole? Why I should minimize it just to regular-degular sexual relationship with a man which will be over anyways (when the sexual attraction is over?)
you mean friendzone ? XD BYE funny
Agree. This world suffers from making everything about sex 😓
@@h35biznezit's so sad how someone not wanting to be in a romantic relationship has gained a negative connotation:/
isnt that what we mean by friendship?? its a relationship where people share a bond i mean that is exactly what her story said and stop with this lgbt aro ace stuff all you are doing is makin a depressed person make stupid decisions
Someone once told me "Do not lower your expectation because your standards are not being met" and it allowed me to be on my own for a while before i found the right partner for me.
Well you know what? That should have been preached even more for societal expectations too, but the price could be hefty: your livelihood. Smh, but painfully real.
Low-quality society also downs your chance to have the right partner, friends, and again the livelihood.
Great society/civilization makes great partnerships thus makes great pillars of the community, and it takes that to raise a good human being (or any living being actually), no less.
I lowered my standards and my first ever boyfriend that I had at 17 S/A’ed me so I’m NEVER lowering standards ever again and if I’m lonely for a bit longer than I am now (20 yrs old) I’m fine with that bc at least I’ll find someone that wouldn’t hurt me or make me question if I should go on with the relationship
When you raise your standards, your dating pool decreases, so naturally it'll take longer to find a partner... but at least that partner will be the right fit :)
But the thing is this is true for some country and some places..in places like my mine..if i won't i am gonna end up alone for the rest of my life.infact i am kindda good enough in every thing but it's so hard for me to get a guy
.be it right or wrong..idk what's wrong with me..tbh it's so hard to find a guy to match my way of thinking..and samrtness
@@Owlstweet congratulations, ms. Exception to the rule...
My dream was to experience teenage love, but it's too late for that. I'm still waiting to feel something extraordinary
I think one day you’ll make a true connection with someone special. And when you fall in love, it will make you feel youthful!
its never too late, feelings are feelings regardless of age, its better when you're older period
You cant wait. Its about trying and failing and trying again until it works.
Ofc I cant judge since I don't know if you are passive or not. Best of luck tho
Trust me, if it were, I've had a crush :( @ville__
It's never too late, just focus on yourself
It’s the “hyperfantasization” of love and romance from growing up in such a media exposed age that’s lead to unrealistic expectations for our love lives. It works in tandem with our unrealistic expectations for ourselves.
Thankfully, our generation values friendships deeply, and with such support from relationships with people that accept us for who we are, we can work towards recontextualizing what it means to love and be loved.
Yes!!!
Yeah society really has crazy warped ideas of men
We aren’t perfect and we’re definitely not interested in doing all the crap that’s demanded of us
Nah. Men are just failing to meet women's needs and interests (like being romantic instead of explicit) - you act like the world wasn't just a little more romance-focused and had more romantic gestures more commonly in the 50's and earlier. The era when men acted a gentleman. It's reflected in how pg13 the lyrics in pop music were. Now it's just explicit degrading sht in rap videos. Women don't have unrealistic expectations - and some women's lives _are_ filled with romance. It could just be that Zoe is not socializing with enough men to have those opportunities (any woman who's a pure homebody is gonna complain that no man ever approaches her). Apart from living LA and LA culture - what's affecting her chances?
Mind you, women are delivering on their end (satisfying men's need for s#x) for men of this generation to feel like they're in paradise: how common is non-committal s#x in this hook up culture? Men are sleeping with new women on the regular. But since many men are selfish they're not interested in satisfying women's needs, which is romance and romantic gestures.
But if you were speaking of m e d I a that's degrading women rather the stereotypical romcoms then my bad and I misunderstood you.
Boom. This is it. We were raised with a lot of unrealistic expectations and people are struggling facing reality.
well yes but reading a lot of romance books probably has the same effect
Why is this actually a universal experience though?
because you're human and human nature doesn''t always know better?
@ville__ I mean it is and it isn’t. Some people are “late bloomers” and some people just have no care for the matter. And doing personal things and not exactly a sensual feeling. Ace people can still be intimate but it doesn’t mean they do it for themselves, but rather for their partner which is a choice to be In that relationship.
@ville__are you stupid? I thought we where over this. Being queer isn't a choice. That's like saying you chose to be born with blue eyes, or with a dark skin tone.
Movies warped your idea of men
Sounds like most of you need to lower your expectations
She even said there were cute and nice guys but she just wanted more lol
@ville__It’s NOT a choice lmao. My friend is Aro-ace and she just *CAN’T* fall in romantic love with anybody. She’s not sad about it because she doesn’t care and doesn’t want a relationship, but she’s literally born unable to be romantically attracted to anyone. Just like lesbian’s or gay’s who can’t control who they’re attracted to, she can’t control her’s either. It’s like telling a gay person their attraction to the same sex is by “choice”.
It took me 23 years to learn that relationships are sometimes about make something work rather than running into the perfect person. So instead of sitting around waiting for the romantic love I've always craved, I started taking myself on dates and showering myself with love 💜(From someone who is also chronically single and obsessed over the idea of a perfect partner)
Same
yea i realise that spark and butterflies only last for a while, you know you find the one when both of you make the effort to make it work. emphasis on BOTH
that's it that's the answer
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
@@rachael5611 She said she's not interested in a relationship right now
People need to understand that not having a patner is not a tragedy in life, same like it was before with not having children
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
somehow, it feels like a tragedy to me ☹️
It's not really about being single lol it's about craving the excitement of a first love or relationship, which is only natural for all of us
We are wired to have partners, so this just feels like a strange coping mechanism
Harvard literally proved that relationships are the greatest predictor of happiness in human existence. So lacking a partner smothers an entire side of your existence with a gaping void, whether we accept it or not
@corpsefoot758 I mean there are different kinds of relationships that can fulfill your life but when people say this they're often referring to the idea that you shouldn't date for the sake of it because you're more likely to be in worse relationships which can make your life a lot worse. It's better to be single and wait for someone to come along that's good for you instead of depressing yourself over someone who clearly wasn't (but, of course, if you're not used to relationships, it will inevitably feel like the end of the world, unlike when you're older and more experienced and can handle not getting together with someone)
the format, structure and storytelling here is masterpiece.
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
never change yourself for a guy. he should love you the way you are. if a guy is trying to make me work hard to be his girlfriend, i move on to the next boy instantly
And why you want an imperfect human to become "perfect" for another imperfect human?
I think people wo don't edit videos themselves do not understand how much work and skill this video holds! much love and appreciation💌
Twas a black hole but thank you🥹🤍
This video literally made me tear up. As a girl in her early 20s that has never experience romantic love but wants to so badly (and also doesn't want to at the same time) I felt so understood. I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship, but what I do know is that I'm so lucky to have truly experience the love of friendship being this young 💕
I feel like we want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons, it's mostly because we want to do just like the others or because we're so drowned out by romance in series, books, and even in real life, that we feel like we're not normal because we haven't yet experienced love. So we pressure ourselves and even sometimes get scared thinking about the fact that maybe we would never find love. But everybody do, one day or another. I mean I don't know any adult who has never been in a relationship. But the older you get, the more pressure you put on yourself. And it's, let's be honest, only because of the societal scenery that only emphasizes love, marriage and children. That's why it's for the wrong reasons, cause we don't really want it (as you said it yourself), we do it unconsciously for others.
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
@@rachael5611 creepy
You actually can find love very easily. You just need to lower your standards.
@@thelegion2184 why would we lower our standard ? I don't wanna be with someone that I don't like or that don't have the same center of interest or values. I won't accept the first one who gives me a little bit of attention. I'm not that desperate. I respect myself and you should too, so please don't do that.
I’m in a domestic violence relationship. Let me say one thing. When you see red flags in the early stages walk away. It’s better to leave and be alone and try again. Once you’re fully in the abusive relationship and the cycles of abuse start, it’s almost impossible to get out. I have been trying to leave for a year now. Please please please make sure you pay attention. If you’re in the UK, you can call the police using Clare’s law to find out if the person you are interested in has any dv charges.
Good luck
are you CURRENTLY in a dv relationship????
I know you feel trapped but you aren’t, you can leave it is just going to be very very hard. Do you have a supportive family? If so pls tell them. Once you admit you partners behaviour it’s a step forward
what were the signs?
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
i feel like all girls have gona through this phase at least once in their lifetime when u fantasize a relationship with someone who is not worth it but at the end u realise its yourself who u need to pour the love. The feeling after u realise is unreal and truly amazing ❤
Real.
❤❤❤❤
Not just girls 😂🎉
a crush is a projection of animus
I disagree. I think self-love is massively overrated. Yes, it's important, but it totally pales in comparison to giving love to and receiving love from another person. Interdependence >>>> independence.
Feels illegal to be this early... But this is super relatable... Never had a boyfriend but tbh I never felt a need to have one. After a point, I started feeling FOMO and wanted to have a lover too... Now I realise that I never really had a desire to date but wanted to feel included in the society. I'm actually willing to wait for THE ONE even if it's gonna take a while...
good job dont give in to the people trying to change your mind
same, had the realization like yesterday after journalling and today she posts this jbcjhdb
are you, by chance, asexual and or aromantic? not feeling a desire to date is valid and perfectly fine
I think like you. But sometimes i wish I had a boyfriend, so that I can travel and share my love for anime😅
I've never had my other half, i.e. a girlfriend. I guess they didn't take me seriously. I think they took me seriously.
Not so long ago, I really thought that I finally fell in love with a boy... Turns out I was actually just in love with the fact to be with someone that loved me, giving me the illusion to love myself through him.
that's all love though, it's a verb
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
Yup, that's a terrible place to be in especially if the guy is a really great person.
yeah i get it, the same thing happened to me...i wanted to believe i like him back so bad but...i just didn't
When I met my fiancée, both of us didn't love each other at the beginning 😂 We met, because we both were dedicated to find a partner for life. We both were hurt too many times, so at the first date we discussed kids, family and plans for furure. I wold say, I startedd have a "feelings" to him after a week of us dating? My point is, true love not alway start with a "crush" or "he/she has perfect looks". Sometimes it starts with logical thinking, and you know what? It is okay ❤ All our love stories are unique and that was it makes them special. For all the girls out there, don't follow your heart or mind, follow both. Wish you all love ❤
you say it started with logical thinking but you said you discussed family and kids on the first date? Jumping to end game conversations when you guys have literally no temporal connection in eachother seems very hastey and illogical. I dont know how long you guys have known eachother, but typically after 2 years the honeymoon phase neurochemicals run out. Hopefully your perception of him is real, because it sounds like you guys both did alot of fantasization (judging by the fact you rushed). Try listing out the positive attributes your partner has, but critically ask how unique those attributes are to him? is he really that special? Are those the things you fell in love with?
@ruthnacht well, none of us is "special." We both are awarage people with awarage jobs that were seeking companionship and found each other attractive enough to start a conversation. The reason why we discussed life goals on a first date, mostly in order not to waste each other's time. Over time, we fell in love. All I'm saying is that sometimes love story doesn't start with "crush."
@@ruthnachtyou make no sense. Getting the important things out of the way first to ensure you're not wasting your time with someone incompatible is not fantasizing. Does it make more sense to date someone for months and then find out you guys do not want the same things out of the relationship or life? You sound childish
@@kK-iv3hc Because when two people 'are hurt so many times' and then talk about the 'important things first' it implies that it was the priority. Successful relationships (prolonged state of bliss) require connecting on a deeper level. NON of those relationships start from burnt out people settling down. That typically is just people with mediocre chemistry but similar ideals just hedging their bets. Its most of the time honeymoon phase neurochemicals giving the facade of love in that case. No where did they talk about unique characteristics of the individual they fell in love with. I cant stress enough how important it is. Peoples words are just a fragment of the time they said it, its immensly common for things to start off big but then fizzle out with time. Its also similar to how most of my friends parents met, and their parents are all divorced
If you don’t love each other and don’t have chemistry and attraction all the marriage plans will blow up when one of the two falls head over heals with somebody else.
Make sure you are both in love and attracted as well
Crushes is how far it's gone, never further then that.. I've never been in love and don't know what it feels like.. I'm 23
Same here, and I'm 29
21 and almost right up there with you.
Put yourself out there girlie 💪as long as you got the headspace for it, it’s about putting yourself out there and learning about yourself in the dating scene. Things worth having don’t come easy!
As an aro/ace person I really needed to hear this. I feel like platonic relationships aren’t talked about enough. Since I was a child I’ve felt like I needed to fall in love with someone romantically, when I really didn’t. So thanks for this.
I've been aro/ace until I was 21 and I'm now demi so I was really freaking lost when it came to dating and knowing when I like a person romantically but I've never been in love yet and I'm 27. Im not sure if I'll ever will but that's okay ❤
This is not about validating you...
Thank you ❤
As a 24 years old "forever single" it felt so good to hear all of this. Even if my "why" is not the same, I needed those words
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
“It turns out the healing relationship that I longed for was the relationship I needed with myself” oof 😫😮💨😮💨 that hit hard 13:53
Literally the perfect selection of words
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
zoe I love your current editing style! I feel like you have gone away from the overstimulating editing to a more aesthetic, calm one and I really love the vibe
God loves you and has a purpose for your life He wants to have a relationship with you if you accept Him You are worthy in His eyes and i hope you can see how much love He has for you and has a purpose for you you dont need to feel this your battles can have a meaning with Him.
You don't have to earn love. It is given.
You have to invest in it, though
@@infj4w511One has to invest in all of their relationships (type of relationship does not matter). Relationships are two way streets. All sides put something into the middle.
What a terrible entitled attitude
What a terrible entitled attitude
@@infj4w511 You have to invest to all of your relationships.
As a guy thank you again for sharing your experiences, I’ve sometimes felt that “want” to have a partner but I realize that it just makes me see women as a means to an end instead of human beings (the very same mistake so many guys, especially groups like incels, make) and your conclusions have given me something to think about.
Was in my first ever relationship at 25 last year... I was dumped and felt so broken, I cried for weeks barely ate. My friends were even telling me to not mess things up to play it cool when I started dating him. As soon as I brought up something that bothered me, boom dumped in less than a day and this was after I was so vulnerable with this man. First boyfriend, first kiss, first love and he has literally destroyed the confidence and self esteem I worked on. Now I haven't been taking dating seriously, went on a few hinge dates and all of them went nowhere. Till to this day I think of him, how breaking and shattering my heart was just so easy for him and how he moved on so quickly and blocked me. I moved cities I made some new friends rekindled with other older friends and working on myself. I am still working on self love its hard but I am trying. I still wish him the best and I hope he finds a woman he wants.
Men always do this... You bring up ONE minor thing you don't like and they dump you a day or two later. It's bullshit.
Posting this was reaaally brave, thank you so much for just showing the truth.
I think the ones who have the most difficulties with dating are the ones who need to have strong emotional links with other people to truly want to be with them. It takes a while to find those people, but I swear there are so many amazing, beautiful people out there
Your words encouraged me, may I ask how old did you meet with your significant other, thanks
I believe falling in love is a blessing and some people are not blessed with that, and its okay i'm blessed with other stuff
I think it's more like people confuse love for infatuation. And to find a partner can take 100 times more work than you think it will. I've known so many people who expect life to come to them but that's not how life works.
I never had a boyfriend until I was 29 years old and I'm 31 now 🥺❣️ it's okay everyone, seriously things take time and it's better not to rush. Some people find love right away and others find it later in life. There's nothing wrong with that. The most important thing is to love yourself before anything 🥺❣️
Yeah.. I’m 30, and same. I feel so inexperienced with this. Yet I’m so successful in other parts of my life. Being single is easier but it’s hard going on trips by myself ALL the time. Sometimes I want a male friend for.. stress relief 😂 it’s hard being a girl boss.
Not stress relief 😂 GIRL!
this is something i needed to hear.. as a 16yo female, i am constantly hyperfantasisizng wether i should have a partner, or i crave the intimacy of a dating relationship, where i want to kiss someone or hug someone, but thats all because i crave that closness and comfort because i within myself cannot feel comfort in my own skin, i cannot love myself back so i search for the minimum attention and search for the lowest standards just for somone to notice me.
I'm 20 and I feel this topic relatable. I have been since 15 waiting for falling in love and it hasn't happened yet
Same
@ville__ what?
Waiting for the right one is a form of self love & respect. It’s how others know how you love by seeing how you treat yourself.
Also, the perfect person doesn’t exist but the one for you will do their best!
Do you want to be friends?
@@kaedecrystal I would love a new friend
just knowing that i am not alone is this makes me feel better already, i am too desolved by the idea that only love can complete me, so weird that you can have toxic relationship with the idea of love and not the actual person sometimes
I love this video so much. I only met my husband after I started loving and respecting myself. It was a long way to understand that you have to love yourself in order to be respected and loved by others. This video is a perfect description of life.
Spent all Christmas with every cousin and every friend in happy and fulfilled relationships. Binge ate and threw up constantly all holidays because I was overcome with such self-hatred. Thanks for making this video Zoe ! Guess I’m not alone.
hey! this showed up in my recommended and i felt sending a little love to all you guys. from a dude who has spent years looking for a queen, i will tell you all that finding your person certainly isn't as easy and simple as we wish it could be sometimes, but there's no need to worry :) go with the flow and work on being the best version of yourself personally, and i promise you that your soul mate will come eventually. i've spent a good long time working on myself physically, mentally, going to therapy, and making sure i'm making enough income to support whomever comes into my life, because in order to find a queen, i need to be a king first. i'm rooting for all of you guys!! best of luck with the journey :)
we love u🥹❤️
@ville__ whether its a choice or not that's exactly what i am lolllll
I’ve never been in a relationship. I feel like I could pretty easily be in one if I wanted to, but that’s not what I desire. I want to be with someone I truly love and vibe with, and in my opinion this is different, and more difficult to archive.
My moments of solitude are both something precious and a curse. I enjoy being by myself, but sometimes it kinda hurts. But overall I don’t think it hurts me enough to let someone enter easily this little place of peace I built for myself.
Something that applies to me is that I like when my boyfriend is my boy best friend. At the moment everyone things that my boyfriend is my brother (we look alike) or my best friend because we have such a vibrant vibe with each other. It's so much fun when you can express yourself to your bf the way you express urself with your friends. I think it's importants because you don't feel anxious or self-conscious at all!!
You don’t even understand how much this video meant to me, just finished it. I did get teary eyed, but You made me realize a lot. I’ve grown to love myself but not fully. I’ve been hurt many times too many to count, and I’m still pretty cautious when it comes to being with someone. I’ve been single for about four years now, and it sucks but I’ve learned to live with it. Thank you so much, I really needed this video ❤❤
Zoe, love your content generally, but this one especially hits different.
as someone in my early 20s, i never got to experience romantic love. no one had a crush on me and i made myself believe that i don’t want relationships anyway. yet deep down i always felt bad for never being a loved girl.
i wish we could make a girls’ group with all the girls in the comment section and encourage each other in our journey of self love. much love
I just want to express how much your content helps me when I feel down. Not in the "easy access dopamine" way, no. You give me hope for myself. Thank you so much for sacrificing so much and putting yourself out there on the internet for people like me.
Most of what you said is universal.
You will only receive the amount love that you have given to yourself.
Don't seek love in someone. This will only give the other person power to break you.
this came at the right time. I am in love w someone for 3 years, and they love me back very much, but due to personal trauma and immaturity cant commit. I know how it sounds, but trust me it's deep. I am slowly realizing how unfair it is to me, and although my love for them will never die, Im starting to dislike that person. I just hope we could be friends forever, but that makes me extremely uninterested in dating anyone else, just for fun. I don't feel comfortable w anyone besides them. Idk how to get out, without getting out
Stay away from playing games and people who play games, those types of relationships don't last. Remember there is no perfect guy or girl, everyone has flaws. Just be yourself, if a man does not like this then it won't work out anyway. You are stuck on a guy who is not interested in anything other than a hookup, if they ghost and ignore you like that move on you are just wasting time.
That’s just not true about games. If you had bad experience don’t discourage other people. If you love playing games and meet other people online it’s totally fine
@@atie3218you misunderstood lol. They’re not talking about online/video games. They’re talking about people who “play games” with others by being inconsistent, manipulative or wishy-washy in their behaviour.
Vulnerability is magic. I feel so fortunate to be tagging along on your journey. I'm so grateful you found the support you've been lacking.
The pandora hearts references brought so many memories back from my teenage years...
Girl, you are not alone. 22 here and never been loved romantically. I am learning to see my value and my worth. The one advice that I can give you: do not chase after love.
Romantic love and relationships are not achievements to show off as people like to think. There is so much more to life, so much more to explore and experience, than sitting around thinking why it doesn't happen with the one guy who obviously is not interested in you. You are loved! You are very very loved.
Just wanted to say, I'm very thankful you decided to put this part your life out there for the Internet to see 💕 it can be really helpful to someone who is living through something similar
The "dont google it dont google it don't google it...... Agh" I felt that so hard 😂 at least from the past but still
I tried analyzing a guy with chat-gpt. That's when I knew I was going crazy and he was just not good for me.
Lol I did it once😂@@AnnaKlimes-i1x
If people weren't obsessing over romance and sex so much, we would all be more loving towards one another in general and platonic and familial relationships would be equally appreciated instead of treated as just insignificant placeholders. Growing into true healthy long-lasting love is way more important than "falling" in love and then act confused that your heart is in shambles.
No we wouldnt at all moron. In your case if it wasnt about sex and Romance, everyone would become Asexual and not give a shit about relationship whatsoever.
In a situationship, which has been like living in a stupid echo chamber; wanting to give it my all, but also not feeling like it will be reciprocated and wasting my time. I have a healthy friend group, and hobbies. Felt like texting him, but didn't want to emotionally spiral, so did something useful with my time instead. You girlies got this! Try to have a fulfilled life without a partner. Good friends are a MUST! Also, I fell you when you say there are no "feelings" for said person. I always fall for the ones that are unattainable. 😩
Why do girls nowadays do “situationships”? Why?
Simply don’t interact at all with men after they make it clear they don’t want to be official with you.
@@FoundSheep-AN I think the same reason men do. Hope. People hope that if they try hard enough and keep pleasing the other person, eventually the other person will see they are partner material and make it official. There is also fear; fear of never being able to find something again if you let it go. Abusers use this all the time and it can have a powerful hold on people, because at the end of the day, lots of people are illogical when it comes to the emotions and so what may seem as simple as leaving to some, may not be to the people trapped there.
@ville__
U R? . . . .
I dunno if this is intentional but, you posted it on the 15th, and 15:15 mins long
Thank you so much Zoe
This comes at a time where I need to focus on myself, and it helps a lot
Can't wait to see ep2!
excited for your growth 🤍🤍
This was so beautifully and artistically done. I think this is so relatable in many women’s lives. From a young age, I feel like women are taught in the movies we watch and the media we are fed, that the perfect man will fix everything and bring us value and that once we have them, it’s all happily ever after. Thank you for sharing your journey and experience and being so open and vulnerable about what it means to find self love and finally treating yourself the way you wanted to be loved by “the perfect boy”. You are absolutely spectacular and deserve all the love in the world ❤
This video is a masterpiece; the editing, the thoughts you shared, the structure of the video,…
I live the same day everyday. I stay home and only leave to go to the grocery store or gym. I cannot fathome the idea of going on a date. I don't mind living alone, I don't mind the loneliness, but the feeling of being alone and NOT being able to change that kills me.
I'm sorry life is going hard for you
I love you omg this is amazing. Like I have felt growing up with all of my friends in relationships has forced me to think that I need to have one. Which is false! I hate that society tells us that waiting or not loving like that isn’t allowed
love the documenting style! it looks AWESOME, no jokes!
Zoe , please don't cry . It is not worth it ! We want to see your pretty face smiling, and your smile is so contagious in many good ways ❤️
I waited for 28 years, only to get married, arranged by my parents. 4 months later, i am filing for divorce (he's a gambling addict in huge debt).
I realize that the beauty of love we create in our heads is more comforting than expecting that from a real person. But i do believe that there are people who found that living amongst us. I am not looking for it, but i do have hope & wish for it. Cheers, to the lucky ones ✨
In this day and age i honestly admire you. It's better to stay single and a virgin, than to hook up with all type of men. It just shows that you respect yourself
I remember watching your videos when you were only at 5k followers, but still love ur videos ❤
🥹❣️ appreciate you so much
I appreciate you too my queen❤
This was one of the few videos I will always remember. You really outdid yourself this time.
I usually never really comment on videos... but this one is definitly special. I suppose this is the kind of videos I would rewatch when in need of a reminder that selflove is what I should ALWAYS seek for in the first place. As someone who used to search for so long for validation from men, peers, and even family, I would really like to thank you very much for your work and content :)
I can relate to this so much. But I mostly know/feel that I'm ok without a relationship, that I probably wouldn't even feel comfortable in one. But the longing is there and it does hurt sometimes.
Thank you for showing this. I've never dated due to being asexual/demi, but it's scary and I'm not skinny, or the standard of pretty. Still, loving yourself is the first step and the ultimate step. Thank you for driving that home. And friends. What a wonderful world to have friends
Cinematic masterpiece. I am 36 but I felt like that when I was 21
Hey Zoe, I really missed this kind of video, in which you show us your vulnerability and we see ourselves in you and your experiences inspire us all. Thank you for that. I loved it 💕
My dear ladies who have yet to find love, or whose hearts have been broken by those they loved - it is imperative that you know this truth: you will find love. It simply takes time and perseverance. Keep your eyes peeled and your hearts open, because love will find its way to you sooner rather than later. Never stop believing in its healing ability, for its love is unmatched. You are more than capable of finding and embracing true love. Chin up, my friend - you got this.
❤
I’ve recently started my healing journey as well… and it’s hard. Loving yourself.. Your video touched something in me. I felt seen, so thank you. I’m really looking forward to seeing more episodes in this format. Sending lots of love your way ❤️🩹🌸🌼
It's like watching a short movie 💗💗loved it!!!!
Your video really helped me
I always felt that something was wrong with me, I wanted to be loved by others, find my love, but I guess I really need to love myself.
Thank you so much ❤
btw I cried, thank you to go this way not only for u but for us, girls who never ever have been in a relationships
I just watched the full video. This is one of my favorites on your channel! The girl you were talking to in 10:03 looks like the girl from “glowing up ruined my life” RUclips video
Im glad i watched this video. Im a teenager that is obsessed with the idea of falling for the right one once im older. This taught me to love myself before loving someone else.
You, Zoe, never dissapoint! Even for someone in a healthy relationship, I feel like every girl in the 2020s has felt this at some point.
I’m 26 now and recently engaged, I’ve learned that every time I got into a relationship it was when I was working on myself and not looking for a boy. Don’t think about looking for love cause when the time is right, it’ll come find you.
I think a big issue, is your ideal image of the "perfect boy". Yours is entirely looks based and, from the look of it, it seems like you go after one certain type of boy. Once you TRULY love yourself, I believe your idea of what the "Perfect boy" looks like from an appearance perspective starts to fade and then you start to open yourself up to many different types of people as you focus more on the character of each individual you're talking to. From my experience, falling in love with someone doesn't happen when you go on a few dates. Sure, there are sparks that may fly or a continuous piqued interest, but falling in love really happens after your relationship starts to settle down. It happens after that person no longer smells as good as they did the first few dates; after y'all didn't speak for a week because you got into a fight; supporting each other with issues that may involve finances. That's when you fall in love, and you feel strongly about it because you know inside that you still have heart eyes for your significant other even after you no longer get butterflies when you talk on the phone, or they don't smell as fresh as they once did. It's because that stuff becomes irrelevant once you realize that love for each other is the only thing you both share that ACTUALLY matters. So please truly love who you are, and you won't have to search hard for love. It will find you.
This was a bittersweet video to watch. Thanks for being vulnerable with your audience.
That was a painful lesson to learn is the one of living and loving for yourself first.
My dad once said: love is like the sky. There can be clouds, storms even, but most of the time, it should be clear. If it's not, then it's not love.
“I just don’t feel the lightening strikes”….i felt that 😢
I used to fantasize about romantic relationships, but after I found out that I am asexual (not interested in sex), I accepted that I might not be in relationships for most of my life, and I am fine with that.
Some of the people clicking on this video will be aromantic or asexual. Some people never fall in love, and that's okay.
This is beautiful for a person who never been loved 😢 ❤ I been trying and not trying, I been kind and care, sweet and empatic, but all I get is a: "sorry, you are wonderful, but you are not enough" 💔
What??? Be a badass and watch them begging u girl.
the video editing is insane! You're so talented, Zoe!
Some people just don't fall in love. I've dated a lot of guys, no love. I'm 43, I don't date, no bf, never been married, no kids, no pets. Been 7 years of no dating including simple intimacy like hugs or holding hands. Life for me is the same as when I was dating except it's more peaceful now. Would love for a partner, but honestly, I had no idea 7 years has gone by where I was by myself tbh. LOL I wasn't even trying to "find myself" or " do me" or " love myself" I was just living my life and time flew! Maybe when I am 60 and just waiting to die , I'll find a partner. bwhaha. You're in your 20s, you still got decades. I believe in you.
Damn. If you dated tons of guys and didn't find anyone you liked. The problem is probably you.
@thelegion2184 obviously shes the problem, now shes a post wall pumped and dumped whore and worthless to Chad and even younger Normies
@@thelegion2184 def is
@@thelegion2184 or maybe no one was the problem, it's just her experience
Maybe you're just aromantic/asexual
Maybe because as a child I was so devoid of love as a daughter or a friend, and only saw cases of heartbreaks everywhere, I started to love myself in my teens way earlier than anyone of my age normally does... I loved being with myself and cherished Platonic friendship more than anything in my life... I still do... I accept myself as I am, I love the little gestures shows my friends care about me and love me... just love this life without a fear of heartbreak
The Pandora Hearts clips throughout the video made me so so happy! One of my favorite series ever 🫶🫶🫶
I LOVE it sm. Such great art
I was afraid of being too late, not partaking in high school love and entering this new chapter alone- while everybody had experienced so much already. But maybe it’s alright, it will come with time and for now? For now I will keep treasuring the relationships I already have in my life ❤
It can be hard having these feelings of missing out. You wonder if everyone else is so far ahead of you with experience that you could never hope to keep up. I don't think this is true. I am certainly a late bloomer. In school I didn't even really have friends let alone be in a relationship.
A few years after leaving school I met my first partner. Like me they had not dated anyone before (well they had dated someone for a week in school but it doesn't really count). There are people out there just like you who will be in a similar position to you, just know there's a chance you make all the same mistakes you might do if you had that first love earlier. It can be a confusing thing to go through and knowing yourself is a good way to stay grounded through it to make sure that relationship stays strong if it is right.
The next person had a lot more experience than me. I found that talking about feelings and listening to theirs helped build a stronger relationship. Lots of people who have experience believe they have it all figured out. Maybe they know how to make the approach and start things off but a lot of them are just as clueless as you and it is partly because they don't know how to communicate.
My parents didn't end up coming together until middle age. I have seen them grow together and though they fight sometimes, like everyone else, they genuinely love each other.
This is all to say that there isn't really a 'too late'.
THE STORYLINE AND THE EDTING IS AMAZING
You made me cry . This is so relatable.
The way you edit your videos makes it impossible to not watch them finish to end. So so unique! Good for my generations horrible adhd tiktok shorts mentality! :D
I felt that I am not alone in this situation after watching this video.Thank you for sharing such meaningful content❤
Zoe, you're not too quiet or too loud. You're too confident. Now wait. I am not trying to tell you to drop the confidence. Keep being the fabulous queen you are. The wrong men hate confident women. The right men love them, but also be aware of the men who want nothing more than to squash that confidence and to dull that sparkle in your eyes. You don't get approached or anything because you are top tier. The right guy will know to show up with flowers and a crown for only you. ❤️
I think that how you can tell you love someone is not because they give you sparks but because they feel like what home always should have felt like. This goes for friends and family too.
Zeo!! I like a guy in my class he confessed to my best friend, Even though I act like I'm happy for her (I actually am) but I'm still hurt
awh, I hope everything turns out okay for you and your bestie's relationship! here for internet hugs if you need em
Sending you the biggest hug🫂❤️🩹 Feeling is the first step to healing. Here for you!
@@friendlyblue5344 Thanks dude! I appreciate it
@@zoeunlimited Thanks Zoe!
What kept you from confessing to him?🤨
She's so relatable 😂 thank you for posting this. I'm sure this is a very vulnerable part of you. I admire your courage 💓
I think the best way to eventually find someone is to start from friendship and with no expectations😂💓
I've realized through countless dates I've found online that what I've personally been missing is the physical meeting of someone you may like. It's completely different than finding someone online because there's so much more that goes into it. You don't know if they like you are not and that's what makes it so much better when they say they do! That's why I've been going out more with friends because even if you don't meet a special someone you at least had an amazing time with friends. Also I would take the online advice with a grain of salt. Your friends know YOU and your situation a lot more than someone behind a screen :)