A reminder that other people's timelines are not YOUR timeline. Whether single or in a relationship- always remember that you are WORTHY of love🫶🏻 What are the things you love about being single or in a relationship? 🩷💗
My genuine thanks for doing this video, Zoe. ❤ Thr pressure to live up to the standard of society is tiring and trivial. Life is too short to worry about this all. So, thanks again and you are truly an inspiration to me.
I've never been in a serious relationship before. It's mostly due the fact that I was hyper focused on building a career. I was struggling to find one. I am now doing better financially thanks to this job. One day at work, I was reminded of how isolated and antisocial I was by a certain someone at work who I can't approach. Despite social struggle, I found time to myself to learn how to talk to people again. I also found love for taekwondo. Point is being single all your life can be problematic, but having all the time to yourself can be a key to a happier life. You get to the point where having a serious relationship doesn't even come into mind once you develop skills or experience something you new that is enjoyable. People need to take advantage of time to themselves. Most people will use it to develop unhealthy habits or lifestyles.
it's not even the fact that i've never kissed anyone, it's the fact that i have never even talked to anyone. like literally. and i'm turning 20 this month. like no talking stage, no flirting, not even a look. A LOOK. or a dm. or anything else. like i'm fine without being in a relationship but the thought that something is definitely wrong with me just haunts me it's so devastating. feels like you cannot be loved in a romantic way.
Therapist Matthias Marber talks about it - whenever something doesn't work, people think there's something wrong with them and not their strategy. Which is the opposite of reality. It's never about you, it's about what you do. Hope that helps.
Lmao same. I know I'm weird as fuck though. I'm on the autism spectrum and I kind of move at my own pace with a lot of social/developmental things and I know I'm not exactly "normal". But it's okay, I'm attracted to men on the autism spectrum anyways so hopefully it works out.
No please don't say that of yourself. I also though at some point that something was wrong with me, but it's not true. Nobody is normal, we're all very different, with very different life, personalities, people that we encounter. When people ask me why I'm still single, I usually don't know what to say because I just feel that life made it like that. And it's fine, because as Zoe says, we all have different timelines. You accomplish other things, you'll have other kind of experiences and knowledge. and also, remember that maybe it made you avoid meeting very toxic people. I have a friend who dated several person so far, and some of them destroyed her mental health so bad, and she told me that she envies me for not having to deal with those kind of stuff ( well ofc it can happens with friends and family ). Anyway, just be kind to yourself and don't compare to others to the point of feeling bad, eventually at some point you'll meet someone to love you ^^
i’m turning 22 this month and never kissed or dated anyone. its very comforting how many people have the same experience considering how much the media pushes this idea of having at least one high school sweetheart and then going on to find love in college. this idea that not having multiple partners by 18-21 means you’re an ugly prude needs to end
It's not only the fact that I am single, It's the fact that everyone else in my surroundings is not. I'm not my friends priority anymore. I'm not just single, I'm lonely
Same, all of my friends literally ditched me for their boyfriends. When I've been in their life for way longer and probably will be longer as well. Friendships are not getting valued as they should compared to romantic relationships...
I'm 24 and not only I've never been kissed, I've never had any romantic-ish situations. Like, I've never been flirted with, no one has ever slide in my dms, no one asked for my number and etc. And i just don't understand why. I'm fine with it, i enjoy my own company. But I still get this feeling sometimes that there's something wrong with me. I know I am beautiful and smart and interesting, i have friends who love me, and I wish to know what is it in me that while a lot of people want to be friends with me, no one has ever wanted me romantically (or at least sexually)
I don’t mind being single I just don’t like being constantly reminded of it and feeling pressured by my family and friends. I’m introverted and have social anxiety so it makes it hard for me to meet or talk to anyone. I’m 20 and haven’t had my first kiss or been in a relationship. But that’s okay because I’m focusing on me and living my life, sure there are times I get lonely and insecure. But I rather wait for the right person then just be with someone for the sake of being with them.
This is so me, the pressure is real. "You've gotta start talking to someone, I want grandkids in the future"🧍🏾♀️ I can hardly even make friends, let along talk without feeling judged by someone. I'm sad that we feel like this, but it's a little better knowing I'm not alone 🥹🥲
@@woahthere_dami My friends always ask me for relationship advice even though they know I have no experience. I get my advice from movies, tv shows, books, my mom and aunts. I’m not gonna be able to help much considering I don’t have any experience. And I can’t relate to the situation. I always say don’t blame me if something goes wrong with your relationship and don’t mention that I was the one who gave you the advice because I don’t want your partner getting mad and wanting to fight me. I’m just trying to help my friends. 😣
Thank you so much - I needed this. 35-year-old single professional woman, virgin, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed. I’ve only been on one date in my life, just before I turned 29, with a guy from a dating app, and it was a huge disappointment. I’m so happy with my life the way it is. I have the freedom to pursue my passions and nurture my interests, and I feel immensely fulfilled from my relationships with family and friends. But, the societal pressure to couple-up is very real. Thanks for the reminder that I don’t need that noise. I am happy, and that’s what matters.
Why do you think you are still single? As in, never been with anyone? Just asking because a lot of people find it more shocking to hear of a woman being chronically alone and single later than normal due to the unfairness of men always having to make the first move and court women, most people believe that women are in abundance by default
@@nobodysperfect06 Isn't the "unfairness of men making the first move" the answer? So guys get bitter or nervous and don't make a move, and women are expected not to do it themselves, so no move ends up being made. I'd imagine most women with no experience haven't tried making moves and it boils down to men not making moves on them either. That's how it is for me anyway. So the solution ig is changing the dating scene to make it encouraged for women to show interest more often and teaching men how to do it properly (since a lot of the difficulty comes from the way they do it ending up creepy/inapproriate)? Also maybe including other people more like parents, peers, etc, in finding good matches instead of dating apps.
@@nobodysperfect06 Though sometimes getting a relationship just isn't a goal for some people (like me). So even if given the opportunity, it would be rejected, because being in a relationship is a specific lifestyle and commitment that just isn't desirable sometimes. Which I think is less desirable for women usually than men, since relationships tend to end up badly for women very often (unequal labour share at home and emotionally, higher physical burden for things like childbirth, loss of power/independence that often happens as pressure of the relationship, etc).
I'm the same, except I am not happy yet. If I cannot love myself and take care of myself or be content with my life, I will not suddenly become content with a partner.
It's nice to know there's other people out there in the same boat I am - early/mid-twenties and never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, etc. I think it's good to remove the stigma from being single, and for people to remember it's okay to not be in a relationship. But it's also okay to WANT a relationship while being single, and I think that's something that gets forgotten. I really think there needs to be a balance: it's wonderful to be single and happy with it, but that doesn't mean it's NOT okay to be single and desiring a relationship. Wanting to be in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you're not happy being by yourself.
Don't add stranger online to some social media or w/e. If some stranger in the comments is asking you to add them online the rules from childhood still apply changes are they're some weirdo or cr eep. this dude is msging every single woman under this is that's targeted towards never dated women and you think its it's not a red flag? Delete him off your disc. Or w/e he added u and re po rt the dude cause he's h@r@ssing everyone here
I think this message should be for women AND men. I imagine men get judged very harshly if they have never experienced romance/initmacy early on. You are spot on about the negative influence of dating apps making it harder for anyone to get into genuine relationships. Its hard for men and women
you are so right! i haven't even thought about it but i can deifitely imagine how much young men/boys are pressured to be experienced in such things from a young age on
As a young man myself, watching this video to see it from a woman's perspective, I'd say that feeling this kind of pressure depends on the environment you find yourself in. That goes for boys/men and girls/women alike. I am the only person in my family that isn't in a romantic relationship and have been for quite a while now. Sometimes I get asked when I'm finally getting a girlfriend and it makes me feel like I'm falling behind and failing. In my group of friends, though, not everyone has experience and there's no peer pressure at all and when the topic comes up, it's all just jokes and nothing serious. It's actually great that social media show us that there are so many men and women growing older without getting to experience what it's like to be loved romantically by and be physically intimate with someone else. It shows that it is not uncommon or necessarily weird not to have experience and, although frustrating for many sometimes (me as well), is nothing to be ashamed of.
@@quintenmeijerink5339 yeah I also think it's really reassuring knowing that we are not the only one person in this situation, in fact the more I watch this kind of content, the more I realize there is nothing wrong with me, I just go at my own pace.
Having a societal pressure to get in realtionships sucks for all beacuse it becomes a bucket list of experiencies "you need to have" instead of powerful moments that turn into dear and special memories as time moves on
Oh it matters and probably a lot more. If you’re a guy with little to no experience you might as well be invisible or gross to like a large chunk of women, they don’t like inexperienced men.
I’m 21 & I have never been in a relationship, not even been on one date so seeing the comments definitely makes me feel less lonely - with social pressure & seeing peoples relationships all over social media (one of the reasons I deleted instagram & TikTok) it can make you feel odd, but a good reminder for anyone in the same boat is that we’re all on different timelines, never force/rush things - what is meant for you, will always find you at the right time ☺️
Just turned 20 and honestly I just don't think I have the energy to put into a relationship and nowadays I feel like looking for sb through apps is a sour norm. Good thing I really enjoy spending time on my own and just have a healthy relationship with who I am and what I strive for. Also yeah male validation is nice but damn I don't think it's so great when it comes from the place of objectification of women. So yeah I am just waiting till something clicks and I go ig I am ready to explore that side of world 😂
I was 19 and I kissed a sociopath who groomed me, so maybe it’s not so embarrassing to wait until you find someone worth it. Choosing yourself is always a good thing.
I didn't have a boyfriend until 29. Now I'm engaged to be married. Enjoy the ride, friends. Whether you are single or not, there is so much beauty in life. It is important to learn how to enjoy yourself and your own company. Relationships can be great, but life is so much simpler single.
Honestly, that is such a soothing thought. Not necessarily that we‘ll all end up happily hitched but that thing won‘t be as they are right now always, even if it feels like they will :)
@@nobodysperfect06 same as me hahahah for me until 30... and not that im not pretty or anything people compliment me of my looks all the time its just that im super introverted and secretive and dont open up easily (its just the way i am bc im a scorpio)
'maybe one day' is the most passive mindset you can i have. I can promise you that it won't happen if you don't actively try to make it happen, especially as a guy. If you're a woman, you might get lucky and have a few guys approach you, but even so it won't be the guys you want. So its up to you.
I’m 18 and I ‘ve never been in a relationship nor kissed anyone. I know I’m still very young, but the thing that really worries me is that nobody even looks at me, compliments me or tries to have a conversation. I have several friends who have never been in a relationship either, but at least they receive some sort of attention. I feel like there’s something wrong with, I just want to be like everyone else..
Are you me?!?!? My best friends may be single now but I have not gotten any interest and the one time I did getting attention it may have been for using me for sexual stuff. So the only and first time I felt wanted they were using me. So it feels worrying because lust is not at all what I want hell I may be Ace and want someone to just chill with. It's like asking for that is too much so I don't ask at all..
This only means that you are special. Not everyone can be by your side, because that space is expensive and it worth. Sorry for my bad english, I'm 22 and I understand what you are living. Don't worry, just don't make bad choises for fast results. I kiss at my 21's and I'm the only women I heart I like my first kiss.
I didn't have any boyfriends until I was 18 either...and then I got one and I married him in 6 months. I have no regrets whatsoever, he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Sometimes it just takes a little waiting, but there is someone special out there for you guys specifically ❤
I'm 32, never been in a relationship, never have kissed and still a virgin. Yeah, used to think I was a complete freak - until I started seeing that so many people are miserable in relationships. Heterosexual relationships especially are not made to benefit women, quite the opposite. Single women have always been demonised in Western history, I have chosen to carve out my own path. Single or in a relationship, I don't care. As long as I am happy and healthy!
I'm 24 and single by choice, never had a boyfriend, never kissed someone. I used to be upset about it but I realized that it was only because of the external pressure. I myself love being single and don't feel like I'm missing something. Single women live the longest, healthiest and happiest lives anyway, marriage shortens their life span (there are many studies that back up this fact, google yourself if you don't believe me + married men live longer than single men, surprise suprise ladies, put yourself first). The only reason why I'm feeling lonely at the moment is because literally all of my friends ditched me for their boyfriends which hurts. So I'm prioritizing finding new girl friends at the moment since friendship means everything to me :)
Not so sure about the marriage shortening a woman's life span. Maybe in modern times where the typical arrangement in a marriage is "marriage stress" + "work stress" since nowadays most couples can't really raise a family without dual incomes. The additional work stress shortens the life span, potentially. Only by a year though according to some random article I found on Google. But, during times where women weren't really expected to work and rather just be stay at home mother's, perhaps they were not as stressed as we see nowadays. In other words, the cause for this decrease in a woman's life in marriage might not be from the marriage itself but from something else.
Yesss..I agree to some extent, live your life to the happiest self you can be and never let societies standards bring you down and make you miserable as nowadays everythings rotting. So glad you prioritize friendship first as ultimately it really is more important imo!
THANKS for this video!! This is exactly what I needed. 29, single, never been kissed, virgin etc. 99% of the time I don't care, 1% of the time I feel miserable. Like today. So I really needed this video from a witty and smart person. Sometimes I'm overcompensating with my job, and sometimes this coping mechanism backfires. There are usually 4 situations that trigger me: - Fiction that involves a romance subplot (usually badly written). - Weekends and spare time when I want to do things but I feel too tired to go somewhere at night, watch out for myself, be ready to push back unwanted sollicitation / or to man up and not be depressed because *lack of male validation*, etc. Here in France, it's still too much norm to be coupled as a woman. - Two of my colleagues who are extremely judgmental of men, of their appearance, of others' relationships, of everybody in fact... always bitching out loud about everything and I know that as soon as I leave I'm the next target. They can't mind their own business for more than a few minutes. I already talked about it to my hierarchy but they won't do anything about it, like, no one cares... - I'm a lawyer and part of my job involves advocating for children or teens... who often are in relationships and even when it's toxic ones, it really makes me wonder what is wrong with me sometimes. I even question if I can legitimately advise anyone since there is so much infantalisation of people who are single, let alone late virgins (like, how as a child can I be of any use to them? or how could my perspective be of any use since I'm so ignorant of 'the things of life'?). It's a great Impostor Syndrome fuel in fact.
I hadn't kissed anyone till I was 20, I was always so nervous about it. But if you find the right partner that's patient and respectful, they really won't care and will be kind about it!
28 here - no 1st kiss, no relationship so far. It used to upset/ scare me over the years, and at one point in my early twenties I just thought, "if it hasn't happened yet, then it probably never will" being a shy girl, but since then, I've had time to grow as a person and in confidence, so I definitely feel better equipped to deal with the dating scene, now that I don't place my value solely in romantic encounters. I never chose to be single all this time, it sorta just happened that way, but I did choose to not rush into things or to not trivialise intimacy with someone just because hookup culture became a thing. Great video!!
The hookup culture and the dating apps have turned the whole thing into a cheap meat market and devalued everything about meaningful relationships On the other hand, it’s harder to to meet new people elsewhere
Thanks for this Zoe. Always felt like the weirdest person on earth seeing all of the people in my childhood having their first crushes and physically getting into a situationship with them. I think part of the grieve that comes with being a late bloomer is that you'll never know what it actually would've been like to be with your high school crush. You'll never know what it's like to have all those first times when you're a teenager
I’m finally there after a decade of throwing myself into toxic relationships as if my life depended on it and a nasty break up. I finally can appreciate myself.
As a man, I find this to be an incredibly interesting perspective on womens' singleness. It's nice to see that the same issues men face women also face, and it is essential to learn how to be alone in a healthy way. Thanks for sharing!
I'm 32 and have never been in a relationship, never held hands, never been kissed, etc. Maybe it'll happen someday, or maybe it won't. But I'm happy having the time to myself and getting to just live my life for me.
^bruh why TF are you in every woman’s business caring so much??? Obviously you think a real woman couldn’t do that or that a woman must be sooo weird to behave that way or something 🙄 but YOU are the weird one for caring so much about what other women do and don’t do. And women are not defined by men or their relationship to them. You are pathetic fr. There’s nothing wrong with Peachy and we support her.
I really enjoy ur videos, the calmness and the personal talk is like the big sister you always needed. For religious reasons, I've never kissed a boy etcetc. But because I listened to their lies, I was in long distance relationships for awhile - I was so lonely from friends that I went for men who didn't feel about me in the same way, but were able to lie and say "I love you, we'll be together for ever". Those words, are so manipulative. I was so young and didn't understand. Now I know the problem, and that I feel worse in a relationship when I am seeking validation. I won't date someone, unless I know them for a long time as a friend, and that they culturally match what I want my husband to have, same religion etc, and I won't be lied to again or hurt others how I was hurt - i'll take my sweet time in finding who I love, and who loves me equally ❤. The internet can be a dangerous place when you are young, please be safe. Its very easy to lie/be lied to.
I didn't kiss anyone until I was 23 or 24, when I fell in love with my late partner who I was with for 11 years before he passed away in 2022. I think it's way more common to not have a relationship these days or sexual experience than anyone realizes. I always thought I was weird, but I also refused to check off the box just for the sake of it, and I'm glad I didn't. I know myself, and I know it wouldn't have made me feel good at all to force it to happen. I want more people to openly talk about this for young women because it's absolutely normal. Some people start that journey younger, and some older...and it does not make any difference whatsoever.
I remember the pressure I put on myself to fit in. Looking back I wish I would’ve shown myself more compassion and didn’t push myself to engage in things that didn’t feel right and aligned just to tick some experience-boxes. People, listen within, your paths are unique. You’ll know what’s right for YOU. No looking left and right needed :) YOU ARE ALL WORTHY AND LOVEABLE MIRACLES ❤️
I turn 23 in a month. Never been in a relationship, never held hands romantically, never been kissed, etc. In real life, I don’t know anyone my age who has never been in a relationship, or even situationship. I am completely fine with been single and using this time to invest in myself and my interests, but I can't help but sometimes wonder if there is actually something wrong with me. But then I realise it's mostly societal expectations which are introducing these thoughts. It's videos like this and also these comment sections which help me realise that I may not be alone in this situation.
Although I am not in this situation anymore I still resonate with the feelings of isolation, feeling inferior etc that come with never being kissed of loved romantically. I felt embarrassed as I was 24 with no love life whatsoever. How was I gonna explain that no guy had ever held my hand, looked at me in a romantic way or kissed me. And then I met my boyfriend. Just when I thought I was apparently not enoigh to be loved in a romantic way. I told him about my lack of experience and he did not mock me like I had imagined thousands of times. He was gentle and sweet about it. What I want to say with this is: there is someone out there who will squeal with excitement at the thought of being in your life, holding your hand and calling you theirs. Do not settle for less! You are an amazing ray of sunshine in the life of those around you. Happy Valentinesday! Here’s to loving yourself where you’re at ❤
Good for you. Unfortunately, the gender-reversed situation wouldn't happen. Most women despise male virgins and ugly men (don't believe what women say, believe only what they do, and they prefer f-boys just to cry about how they were "used" later).
I dated around because I thought my time was running out. I'm in my mid-20s and I've never had a BF. After dating around for a while, I realized that either I haven't met the perfect match for me yet or a relationship is just not for me. I find dating to be so tiring. At first, it was exciting cuz of all the flirting and stuff but after a while, it got repetitive and boring. I found myself the happiest when I wasn't dating. So yes girls, being single by choice is a thing.
i think you wouldn't find it tiring if you loved the other person and feeling sexual attraction towards it. So, i can relate. I do not want at all to go out with guys from dating apps. I did that. And the one run off and stayed with me only for 30 minutes. And then never spoke to me again, which was fine by me since i could not even get a word out of his mouth, and then another guy wanted sex so he started texting me and asking me to go out with me only after midnight and i was like.... Is he a seriall killer? And he was a handsome one but he did not know how to talk. He would only text me " hi" and then a " lets meet". Without anything else. Except his cat once which was cue but not enough for me. But then i went on a date with a guy i met in a cafe. After we got a good time, the next day i saw him at the center of our town, ( how should i know that from 1.000.000 people he would be there?) and then guess what happened. He flirted with my friend in front of me. He touched her waist and hugged her so much he almost kissed her. And then he told me to go out with him again. And then i blocked him and never spoke to my friend cause she got so happy that i was humiliated in front of her and the girl started to say how not so tall he was and how he stuck her body into his. And she could not stop smiling. But guys were always flirting with her everywhere we go, but at that day i was like ( him too? From all the people in a city of 1M, he chose her too?) and the fact that the girl died her hair the exact color i died my hair some weeks ago did not help at all. And it was fucking pink. Not brown or black. It was pink. And she was a blonde one. She went from blonde to pink. The problem exists everywhere. Its called " male brain". I cant wait to meet someone who is not an asshole.
@@yours_eve2001 Some of the guys I dated had red flags so no wonder I didn't fall for them. Others were decent but I didn't feel any attraction towards them. I dated a guy recently who was very kind and caring towards me. He liked me very much so I kept seeing him hoping that feelings would grow. However, I realized that I couldn't feel a connection with him. Also, whenever I asked him why he likes me, I didn't get anything substantial but just full of crap like "you are so pretty and classy blah blah"...very surface-level. I could relate so much with the "male brain". Whenever I'm dating someone new, it always feels like they have similar patterns on how to approach girls... a very simple and predictable one which makes the game boring. Also, it's true that males would often be very surface-level. They'd rather date a brainless and stale personality beauty than someone they actually have a connection with.
I've started therapy recently and really struggled to bring this topic up with them because I know the answers already, but they don't resonate with me or how I feel. Like, being told to "enjoy my own company" when I'm starting to get sick of myself and would like to get a break by being around another person. But the struggle is just finding people, it's so difficult right now. And like you said, dating apps are trash and many are only built to keep you there rather than help you find people to be with away from the app. I recently came out as bigender, but I still have most of my stuff as a cisman because this beard and beer gut aren't foolin anyone. And I've noticed that the pressure you described for women to get married has almost been passed over to men (but not in the same way at all). That "male loneliness epidemic" comes from guys who have been inundated with the idea that the only love that exists is romantic love, not familial, fraternal, or self love. Their worth is starting to be defined by what they think women want and not by who they are. And even when you break free from those systems of thinking, the hard part is that it's still been so deeply engrained in you that romantic love is such an integral part of life that you need to find it somewhere. I'm 24 now, live with my parents, unemployed, struggling to find a job, struggling to see myself as attractive, and struggling to come to terms with how my upbringing as a man has developed these problems. Saying "I want a girlfriend" may just mean sexual desire, but to be honest, I just need a hug and someone to tell me I'm enough. Because when I look at myself, I don't see someone who is worthy to judge that distinction. I cannot afford myself self-love. I want someone beautiful to tell me that I'm beautiful, too. Personally, not through a screen anymore, not with some non-specific ASMR video. Someone who sees me and says "You are worthy of love from someone like me." And I think there's a lot of guys out there who feel that exact way and it's why we're dealing with this epidemic.
Basically, you think your "loneliness" won't be gone without acquiring a beautiful object whose sole purpose is to cater to your ego. No mutual connection involved, and god forbid she have expectations, wants and needs of her own. Dude, get your own place and look after yourself first. And ugly people exist, ugly girls exist too and are straight up told by dudes they're never going to be loved. They aren't running around making it the world's problem. I assure you your life will improve vastly when you stop viewing women as objects you're entitled to but aren't getting, rather than autonomous, complicated human beings, each worthy of respect and dignity in their own right. Here's a harsh pill to swallow, a spoiler alert, if you will: even if you somehow snag yourself a pretty dream gal who sits still, looks pretty with a mouth sewed shut at all times, it won't fill that void within. It is an internal thing that no one but you can fill, and that takes inner work, and it's not easy. THAT is where your worth comes from, not the world around you, not other men telling you you're an inferior man. Who are you without other men telling you the hierarchical commandments to be a superior male? Who are you when you're alone, without any influences? If you hate your own company, that's where your work lies: within.
Nah, they want a wife to replace all the jobs they refuse to PAY for they want free labour, BurbnBougie has videos on that. Men believe in Disney too much, true. A wife won't fix THEM as a person yknow? Elicia Goguen has good glow up videos. Self-love is self-concept work, Neyah has videos on that. Validation is not external. You crave emotional intimacy, look it up. Emotional dysregulation too.
Not to sound insensitive but I think what you really need is a support system and to work on your mental health, which does not mean a girlfriend can't be you trying to create a support system for yourself, but what you also need there are meaningful friends who you can trust and tell your struggles to who will care about it, because if you make one person your entire world it will make your life only cricled around them and if you break up then you will end up at the same place where you started. It's like a building you need more columns and to learn how to love yourself even if it's through sb's eyes. Hope it gets better!
I have a friend who went into depression and cut contacts with all her old friends (and some family members) because of this. Her family is very “family oriented” and she is the only one who is unmarried and never had a boyfriend either. I remember talking to her about it when she was 27 and how sad she was. She didn’t want to attend her younger sister’s wedding… She is now 37 and still a virgin. She also “wasted” several years being in love with someone she only met a few times casually in a friend group. They never kissed or even went on a date, but she was convinced he was her soulmate 😢 She finally started therapy during Covid but struggles with the fact that she is now in her late 30s and thinks that a lot of opportunities are no longer there. I guess my point is - if you enjoy being single and childfree, awesome! But if you want a partner and a family then the sooner you start figuring what’s holding you back - the better
As an autistic person, the message of being alone in a room full of people is one of the reasons I (and many others on the spectrum, but I can only speak of my experience as no two people are alike) feel isolated while the world is telling us that we are wrong. I know what small changes would make me more at peace, but they go against the norm, so for a long time I felt pressured into becoming NORMAL, this is the concept of masking. I suffered great mental perish through the forced action of meeting social rules and regulations. In the same way the concept of romance and how it is embedded in our minds as the correct and decired way of life. That is why children talk about their gf/bf without having the capabilities to understand the emotional and sexual difference between a good friend and a partner. This early "propaganda" (for lack of a better word) through movies, tv, books and ads, is why many of my friends have expressed sorrow and feeling of them having faults and desperation can be seen growing before puberty and a sexual drive has started. Today those friends have forced themselves into relationships where they are hurt just for the ability to adhere to the norms, or they express a deep want and yearn for it. I thank you for spreading this and attempting to create a change where people are accepted for not wanting or not having romantic relationships. People should enter relationships to grow because they truly believe this person helps them in that regard. Becoming comfortable with oneself should be what society strives fore, it is an art not a given. Again thank you for talking and sheding light on this important topic
I’m 19, still very young in my eyes, and never had ANY experience either. It used to bother me but then I look at my straight taken friends and their relationships or partners are definitely not something I’m jealous of. I know my time will come, I know it’ll probably be a little later and I’m so okay with that. Rather I’d be with the love of my life in a few years than to have something „casual“ with an immature teenage teenage boy who would contribute nothing good to my life. Tbh I had this feeling since I was younger, maybe I’m just a late bloomer but I’m definitely meant for something real and I stand by that😌
I'm 36 and I felt so behind because I lost my virginity quite old and I haven't had a serious relationship ever!! So to everyone feeling bad about it I can say it will happen,don't chase it ,let it be and wgen it finally happens you'll see is not a big deal.
From 6th to 8th grade the question "Who is your crush" always stuck it they didn't ask celebrity crushes and for me if I didn't answer they would have been like "either tell us who your crush is or sit alone" I used to turn my head and sit alone Why can't people accept that few people don't constantly have crushes
Omg same I mena I didn't sit alone I just would stick to not saying if I had any bcs well I recognised at the time that it wasn't a smart thing to give people bullets to shoot you with socially. I feel like it's a very important skill to not crumble under social pressure tbh so I am grateful I practised it.
As a guy, I gotta say this video was comforting to watch. I don’t know if it was due to the video setting, your outfit matching the room, your voice or your simultaneously dyed and natural hair, but it was very soothing. Also you are pretty! 😊
Nice to know I’m not the only one. I’m 25 now (as of yesterday!) and I have never been on a date, never been kissed, never really had a real, official, fully functioning partner, among other firsts that haven’t happened. I felt like I was the only one and something must be so wrong with me socially. I met a guy that I felt in my gut was my husband, but the whole thing fell apart and now I am so lost. Thank you so much for making this video. I don’t feel so alone now. ❤
Honestly I’ve felt some of the pressure as a 29 year old guy who’s never been in a relationship either (for guys we’re just considered losers if anything) and when I was looking at certain incel/Manosphere spaces out of curiosity there’s the repeated claim that “women have it easy” when it comes to dating, my impression is that as usual it’s a lose-lose situation as girls are shamed if they have too many partners but they also get shamed if they don’t have any either so as usual thank you for sharing your experiences
I'm 42 and have had more relationship experience than I care to remember. My first serious relationship started at 18 and almost broke me. I met my husband at 25, and he was worth the wait. I lost him, suddenly, leaving me widowed at the too young age of 36. It's me and our son, now, and I'm honestly good with that. If I fall in love again, that's great, but my life is full. I'll be OK regardless
i have never been happier in a relationship in comparison to being single. i think this is because everytime ive started a relationship or situationship with someone my intentions were to be in a relationship. this blocked me from building truly meaningful and real bonds w the guys especially because i often didnt know them as friends before. the social pressure i felt in high school to date and get "experience" before college, and the insecurity of being alone pushed me into these. yet when i was in them i always ended up realizing how much happier i was on my own and dumped the guy a few weeks or months in. the second the honeymoon phase ended i always realized how little our relationship equated to. so for all the single girlies out there, enjoy it! ive been embracing it the past year and ive never felt more confident in myself and my lifestyle. maybe one day the right guy will come and ill be ready for him, but i dont even care anymore lol, and omg its liberating.
these days talking about love and crushes in high school or middle school is getting to the students in my school. sometimes you feel pressured when people ask you about it and I do too. it's irritating knowing someone likes you when you don't, but you don't want to hurt them. I feel out of place as an ace in my school. I like that I can relate with a lot of people on the internet.
There is this certain validation we need to feel that it’s okay to be alone and not fit into a certain criteria and I feel you gave that Saying that it’s okay to love yourself is sometimes all one needs
Here I am 😂 no but I don't think it's quite the thing that comes up when people discuss dating lives and stuff. Usually it's more have you had any significant other and such like I don't think kisses are that important to most people.
i personally love kissing:)) a lot of people do…i remember before i kissed anyone i thought it must be overrated and sounded so gross. but for me it’s electric. (my first partner i was not compatible with though, so it was just likw kissing a mouth and felt so disgusting. it was just thw wrong person cus now kissing is my faaaavorite. but yk. some people prefer holding hands. lots of serial hook-upists will not kiss the fling because it feels too personal and intimate. That’s v common w “professionals” too.)
I'm a girl, turning 31 this year. Virgin too lol never kissed anyone even, never even held hands romantically with anyone. Online I had only one crush who was innocently flirting with me, I felt he was kinda sus, blowing cheek kisses, but he turned out to be gay in a closet with a boyfriend 💀 (no homophobia i love and support gays, I'm queer myself) ugh anyways I'm just gonna be alone cause I can't find the right person, neither I want to choose anyone just to be with anyone, rather be alone, and there's nothing shameful about being virgin. i mean is losing virginity a virtue? no. neither is virginity.
wow, I'm 20 yes I had a girlfriend but it lasted a month and we didn't see each other much, and I'm still a virgin but these comments from women give me hope of finding a virgin woman too😢
I'm 21 and never kissed a boy. My guy friends expect that I have a boyfriend when I don't at all.many times I have thought there were chances that I would have had first kiss but I had the expectation it would be magical like you said. At this point, I'm open to casual dating honestly. I don't think I'm patient anymore
I’m 16 and this is what I fear. Many of my friends express how much they enjoy “teenage love” and are encouraging me to date, but I am just SO shy. I’ve only had 2 guys hit on me in my entire life, but didn’t even catch their names both times because I got out of there as fast as I could. I get crushes on guys and everything, I just constantly second-guess myself. It’s the bane of my existence
Hey! I'm 16 too and strongly relate to you, good to know their are some sane teenagers out there as most teens these days are so obnoxious. I'm also in constant fear that I will not experience teenage love but HELL you never know sometimes life's unexpected so expect the unexpected haha..but yea you have lots of years ahead of you so just keep your head up high :p
@ville__ She said she's 16, are you trying to end up on one of those videos of "catching a discord predator"? Edit: And checking your channel out it looks like you're 30 too... Back off dude.
Found my comment section, hi sisters 🎉 Also never had my first kiss or been in a real relationship. The male validation thing is crazy, the way it causes me to overthink. There's also the thought that rather this than be in a toxic, cold, unaffectionate relationship. And the disbelief that a guy could ever actually like me (even by the off chance they do). It's crazy man.
had my first kiss at 17........... kissed the same person for 5 years. and now... single, i haven't kissed someone in many years.. lol i legit don't date.. i either fall in love or i stay single. i have had crushes but it never came to a relationship. so i have not kissed someone for many years. i think there is NOTHING WRONG with staying single or have not kissed someone. even in you are in your 20s. because LOVE is not something you can force to happen.. kissing someone you don't really like, but young, does that make it good just because you are young? i'd rather wait to kiss someone who really care about me.
Something I think you missed is that the vast majority of people want love and companionship. Women haven't been getting married for thousands of years solely because of the patriarchy, marriage evolved because humans as a species fall in love. It hurts to fall in love and never get to feel what it's like to have it reciprocated. For most people, one of the goals in life is to find someone to live happily ever after with. It's ok to not want that, but it's also 100% ok to WANT THAT and for it to hurt that you don't have it yet. The important thing is to be honest with yourself. If you want to find love, it's ok to admit it and do the work on yourself to figure out how to get it. It's also ok to keep your standards so high that only the absolute right person will meet them, no matter how long that takes.
Your history throwback made me think about how most women prefer monogamous relationships (me included) and tbh it feels like nowadays cheating has been made way easier and not just in the clear cheating situations but also, those had their fair share of not being spotted in previous decades, but like porn*graphy like only*ans and cornhub… never before was sexual stuff this accessible and I don't think it was that normal for relationships in the last century. I think it's just the difference that might cause the disconnect in the love aspect tbh.
Honestly for me it's not that I feel societal pressure about not been kissed before, it is more about me wanting it to happen and craving to be in a relationship. I'm probably desperate to want these things so much for 20 years, and I know that I'm worthy of those and capable of being alone.... but I do crave to experience romantic actions at least once to see what that's like
i'm 23 and i had my first kiss/first bf later in life, but it was much more meaningful because i wanted to be with those guys. I'm single now and, as a christian, there's a lot of peer pressure around me and other girls to get married and start a family. Most of my 20 year old peers are either in a relationship or already married, but honestly I cherish my independance and my alone time way too much to bother being single. I love going offline for days in a row and not having to be kept accountable, not having to explain why I was off. Here's how I see it: relationships are meant to go both ways, so if you're not willing to give away your trust and some of your time and independance, there's no point in looking for a partner in the first place.
It feels like a relieve that i am not alone with it. I am 22 and never had anything with a guy even when i have been on a lot of dates. I have the feeling that most guys mostly dont seek a relationship. They always want a situationship and nothing serious. Still hoping to find a soulmate one day i cant settle for less💀
yeah, i realized that when the last guy i went on a date with ( the best date i had so far) flirted with my friend in front of me one day after the date and then asked me to go on a date with him again. And then i blocked him =) and never spoke to my friend again because she got so happy about it she could not hide it.
I know that it's easy to say, but is a reality: There are genuine good guys out there that are worth meeting. Sometimes life is whimsical and keeps you away from them.
The fact that I've had many opportunities to not be single cuz both boys and girls have confessed to me but I just choose to be single... Idk I always said it's stupid to date when you're a teen cuz I want a serious relationship and now everything is so unserious
@@UserRobot215you know as a man that has been single his entire life, you can be happy over the joy of others or sad about their sadness genuinely? Like you can be sad about the boys and the girls that did not manage to find a fulfilling relationship ?
I used to be really overweight from 16-19yrs old so I thought that once I lost weight I was going to have the romantic experiences I wanted, but it wasn’t true. I’ve been skinny for over a year now and nothing has changed
@@user-bz4vv5og1v well, after I lost the weight some boys started liking my stories (no one liked my stories before). But I don’t really get asked out or something more than just likes
Thank you so much for this video, it warms my heart to see someone talk about this so kindly. Also I am so so so sorry for your traumatic experience, may God bless you always Ameen. I am comfortable being alone, I have so many hobbies and things that give me joy and I can spend my time with that and also work. I didn't need outside validation and I am contemplating being single by choice. Which is very, very rare from the country and culture I am from. But I could do it. The only thing is, even though I am perfectly happy being single and not waiting for anyone, when one of my friends mentions they have a partner and that they are so loved by them... I feel so insecure all of a sudden. I clam up. As a good friend, I hide my feelings and congratulate them and pray for them. But I can't help but feel really insecure. I'm A-OK at any other time, but when someone simply mentions being in a relationship, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out, making the wrong choice. Also in our culture, its almost unheard of to be child-free by choice. The names people would call you! But I don't want to go through all that. I don't want children. But society has so many pressures. This is why I contemplate being single by choice and maybe I might learn that in addition to being happily single, I can also learn to be un-jealous. Or maybe I might find the perfect guy for me. I don't need him to be perfect, just perfect for me and me being perfect for him. Otherwise, maybe I can learn to be un-jealous. Thank you so much for this vidoe
I’m going to be 23 in a few months, and as a man, I’ve never been kissed by a girl before, let alone held hands with one, and it is a very big insecurity of mine, especially when I see people many years younger than me getting experience. I often panic, and worry that I’ll never get any experience with women. I’ve been working on myself (trying to improve social skills, dressing better, etc.) but the fact that I’m this old and still have not had these kinds of experiences yet really hurts/stings.
It's as Brendon Urie said in his song House of Memories: "If you're a lover you should know the lonely moments just get lonelier the longer you're in love than if you were alone..."
I really start to cry, seeing this video. i fill i have pressure myself too much about this topic, and i am 22. I am too scared to have toxic relationships. Thanks
I’m a 24 year old woman, and I’ve never kissed a dude, let alone go on a “date”. This was very comforting to see how many other women are in the same situation. I constantly compare myself to people I knew in high school, and see they’re starting to get married and have children, while I still act like a teenager and I’m too shy to actually approach someone. I’m too scared of rejection, or too nervous to ask if they’re single or not. I like to think that I have pretty interesting and unique hobbies and interests, but still don’t feel adequate enough to flirt with anyone. I’ve always been extremely shy, and I think that’s my main issue.. I keep waiting for someone to make the first move and sweep me off my feet like a romance film, when I know very well that’s not how real life works😢 -Thanks for coming to my TedTalk-
I'm 24 and never had a boyfriend before. You know what's funny when I was 21 I thought I will have a boyfriend by this time. I was like you know what I have time just be patient it will happen. Now I don't even know if it will happen. I'm at a point where I will lie to men about my relationship experience because most adults don't want to date inexperienced people unfortunately. It is what it is.
The part with " art of being alone" is very relatable. Lately I have been feeling like I need to make new connections and friends because only people I speak to everyday just my mom and coworkers. But at the same time I feel pressured to make connections because of the society. Seen other people having fun in large groups of friends might be sad sometimes. But at the same time you never know what that person truly feels and if they truly enjoy to be a part of the friend group, not just for the image. My boss invited me to party to celebrate coworkers bday but it took me forever to actually accept that I don't want to go. The last time I went to similar even like this was sad and I was feeling lovely and out of place even tho there were a lot of people around that I knew well. Crazy how you might feel lonely even in a room full of people👀
i love your videos, your so motivating! i'm 20 and single since i was born, your kinda my role model, and the proof, that though someone is single, it doesn't mean she's not pretty and amazing
If you never had a relationship, how do you know being single is just as great? Having a deep intimate relationship can be very fulfilling. the challenge of sharing your inner world with a person outside of yourself, and learning how to trust someone else with your body and soul, all of that makes you grow as a person. Sure, some relationships are unhealthy or unhappy, but that doesn't mean that love in and of itself is negligible, or nothing but an addictive norm. Just like with family relations- some familes are bad, but a great one can enrich your life and offer a necessary sense of community. We should encourage people to have meaningful relationships, instead of pushing them to seek isolation.
I think it's about craving a relationship. A lot of people just want it, but some like for example me don't feel strongly about it. I suppose relationship is what you and the other person makes of it but it truly is a more complicated friendship with more aspects to it imo. Still if you feel fulfilled and happy with who you are you don't really feel that need to get validated by sb loving you ig. I know it's chaotic I drank two coffees too close to each other, but also you can see and observe many relationships around you and how they work etc. which well is quite useful at determining if it's worth it or not. I am also a massive introvert so definitely not the best judge of it but personally I have very low social needs and could go a very long time without a need to talk to anyone and sharing some stuff with another human being doesn't sound fun. Edit: also we shouldn't push people into relationship if they don't feel ready. Let them live their own lives and don't shame them for not wanting to get involved with sb like that.
I think she knows that. Most of us want a relationship, just not with anyone. It’s rough waiting for the right connection… what she’s talking about is the fact that a LOT of people enter into relationships based on peer pressure alone… not because they want to be in it. Which ends with unnecessary baggage. These are not the “meaningful connections”you’re talking about. This vid is for ppl who are waiting for the right connection. For some people, that might just take longer than others and that’s literally fine. In the meantime, being single means figuring out who you are and what you enjoy while you’re alone.
@maura_the_rose it's more than fine, it can be great! I was single for the first 22 years of my life and enjoyed my freedom a lot:) however, I would question the idea of "waiting". From my experience, a good connection is something that requires mutual work, dedication and willingness to adapt and learn. There's also an amount of openness and charitability you have to show the person in front of you in order to become part of each other worlds
I am 13, and even if I am young, I still feel the social preasure to have a boyfriend, or to kiss someone. Sometimes I really feel bad and hopeless, so this video made me realise that even if I spend my whole life "alone" it´s okay. Thank you Zoe ☺
I'm gonna turn 24 in August, and I'm also in this situation (never kissed a guy, never had a boyfriend etc.) but honesty, I'm quite happy and never thought I was weird, kinda the opposite, it makes me be different from everyone else and I like that, I'm unique. I am not opposed to having a relationship, I'm still young so God knows what will happen in the future but I love myself, I have my family and my friends, and it's all I need. Thank you for sharing your experience, and to anyone else who is in the same situation, know that you are fine just the way you are ❤ Lots of love to you all, may you always be happy ❤
This video came at the exact right time! Some friends keep pushing to go to the club and find boys for me, but I just want to take it slow. I don’t wanna be part of the current hook-up dating area. I found a boy tho, but he lives on the other side of the world. We’re gonna try to make it work and tbh, i don’t care if i have to wait a few years. I rather go unkissed until then, then that i join the hook-up culture. Thank you Zoë for this video!
You sound so mature. It’s nice that you talk about women’s issues without treating men as enemies. Moreover a lot of things you said can be easily applied to men. And also you have a very nice voice.
I had just turned 26 when I first met my fiancé. Just turned 27, getting married in a month. HE WAS WORTH EVERY LONELY NIGHT, EVERY TEAR, EVERY BROKEN-HEARTED SOB. A GOOD MAN IS WORTH WAITING FOR.
24 and never been kissed, never had a boyfriend etc. I’m too shy to approach and face rejection so the few guys I had crushes on ended up getting girlfriends, one is even married and has a child. Wow.
Just because not everyone gets to experience kisses on the mouth or atleast not getting to experience their first romantic kiss as early as they expected to doesn't mean they have never gotten nonromantic innocent kisses like on the cheek or head from family and friends, stop obsessing over romance and appreciate singlehood as it's not a curse.
Had my first kiss and relationship at 24, 5 years ago. I still remember that fear the girl talked about, the wanting a relationship but not having it. As petty as it is, I was honestly horrified that soon I'll get into the season of life where people will get married and I wouldn't have had a date yet. That changed now but I do know that single Dom felt different after I had the experience of dating. It felt like a choice I can make as opposed to something thrusted upon you by circumstance.
Some of the girls i know who are 19-20 yo are already getting married while i haven't even held hands wth someone romantically in 19. It seems like my fam is pretty worried about me not seeing anyone. My mom even told me i should already be sleeping with guys instead of my plushie. But i'm okay with being single for now, i enjoy my alone time and i guess that's the only thing that matters. Thank you, it's nice to be heard at least here❤
It's really comforting to read all of the comments and to watch the video because you know I'm only 17 I just wonder why this is happening to me. Which sounds like it is something terrible and of course it's not but still like why me? Plus I do feel like maybe I'm afraid of a relationship, or probably more of a first kiss. I don't want it to be awkward or bad. And I know that there have been boys who liked me, one even told me, but only after the feelings went away (I didn't like him anyway haha). Well, and another one told me too, but I didn't like him back at that time (after that I liked him for like 3 years but didn't tell him) I think I'm just waiting for the boys to make the first move. Because I'm an introvert, so its difficult for me to talk to people. Also, I'm really good at inventing excuses of why a boy isn't worth a try. I don't know if anyone cared about this, but I felt the need to write a comment too, and it turned out to be a lot I wanted to say.
@@davinky1229 happy to hear that I'm not alone, haha. It's so weird who important this topic seems to be. I mean, think about it, we are only 17, we have still so much time to experience all kind of things. It's ok if it hasn't happened yet. It will eventually some day. Great pep talk for you, but also for myself. I don't know where this just came from hahaha
When I was 11 I did already ask myself if I need a boyfriend. ELEVEN. What does today's society do to us? I didn't even know anybody with a boyfriend, and still I thought about needing one. Obviedsy, you should never need a boyfriend. If anything, you should want one. It's a complement to your life, not something that fulfills it. Wow, I can never just write a little bit, I always go for an entire bible
Great message, solitude has been maligned and we deserve better, from the rest and from ourselves. Good vid! P.s: as a cishet guy (almost 22) who has only kissed someone once, same, the struggle to stop feeling like a freak or a loser is so real that it hurts the brain.
It's just that this video just spoke to me. I am 23 and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never flirted with anyone face to face. Tried Dating apps but they just seemed like a lame thing to meet guys somewhere me being the anxious person I am and there whoever I meet seems to judge the fact that I've never had a boyfriend before and that seemed to be a deal breaker most of the time. And sometimes they just turn out to be too clichéd looking for "nothing serious" and I get fed up after sometime. And whatever zoe said just spoke to me personally. It's really comforting to know I'm not the only one having "the panic" and the need for validation and also I'm happy that people find it's okay to go out alone and have fun alone😌
This was refreshing to watch. I’m 26, never had a boyfriend, first kiss or a male friend before. I believe in universal attraction and am patiently waiting for my soulmate. I’m content, happy and in the best relationship with myself I’ve ever been in my life. ❤
I'm 20 and I've never even kissed anyone so it's comforting to know I'm not the only one. It's not that I don’t think I couldn't be in a relationship if I really wanted to but there just isn't really anyone I want to be in a relationship with. In my entire life there were a total of 3 people I've been remotely interested in, the first 2 I barely talked to, the last one (I'm still not quite over it) has been my strongest crush so far but he doesn’t like me back, I have good reasons to be certain of that. I'm just not social and I have anxiety talking to people and it's a rare occasion for me to even find someone I like. I don’t really mind all that per se but I feel like I'm behind other people when it comes to that kind of experience and that makes me feel uneasy. I try not to stress it though and focus on uni and the other aspects of life, there are worse fates than becoming a cat lady if it ever comes to that lol
A reminder that other people's timelines are not YOUR timeline. Whether single or in a relationship- always remember that you are WORTHY of love🫶🏻 What are the things you love about being single or in a relationship? 🩷💗
True
My genuine thanks for doing this video, Zoe. ❤ Thr pressure to live up to the standard of society is tiring and trivial. Life is too short to worry about this all.
So, thanks again and you are truly an inspiration to me.
I've never been in a serious relationship before. It's mostly due the fact that I was hyper focused on building a career. I was struggling to find one. I am now doing better financially thanks to this job. One day at work, I was reminded of how isolated and antisocial I was by a certain someone at work who I can't approach. Despite social struggle, I found time to myself to learn how to talk to people again. I also found love for taekwondo. Point is being single all your life can be problematic, but having all the time to yourself can be a key to a happier life. You get to the point where having a serious relationship doesn't even come into mind once you develop skills or experience something you new that is enjoyable. People need to take advantage of time to themselves. Most people will use it to develop unhealthy habits or lifestyles.
What I love about being single is there's so much free time
@@iamfrickincool freedom!!! 🎉
it's not even the fact that i've never kissed anyone, it's the fact that i have never even talked to anyone. like literally. and i'm turning 20 this month. like no talking stage, no flirting, not even a look. A LOOK. or a dm. or anything else. like i'm fine without being in a relationship but the thought that something is definitely wrong with me just haunts me it's so devastating. feels like you cannot be loved in a romantic way.
Your timeline might be different but that does not mean you can't be loved in a romantic way. Happy birthday!!🫶🏻
Therapist Matthias Marber talks about it - whenever something doesn't work, people think there's something wrong with them and not their strategy. Which is the opposite of reality. It's never about you, it's about what you do.
Hope that helps.
Lmao same. I know I'm weird as fuck though. I'm on the autism spectrum and I kind of move at my own pace with a lot of social/developmental things and I know I'm not exactly "normal". But it's okay, I'm attracted to men on the autism spectrum anyways so hopefully it works out.
No please don't say that of yourself. I also though at some point that something was wrong with me, but it's not true. Nobody is normal, we're all very different, with very different life, personalities, people that we encounter. When people ask me why I'm still single, I usually don't know what to say because I just feel that life made it like that. And it's fine, because as Zoe says, we all have different timelines. You accomplish other things, you'll have other kind of experiences and knowledge. and also, remember that maybe it made you avoid meeting very toxic people. I have a friend who dated several person so far, and some of them destroyed her mental health so bad, and she told me that she envies me for not having to deal with those kind of stuff ( well ofc it can happens with friends and family ). Anyway, just be kind to yourself and don't compare to others to the point of feeling bad, eventually at some point you'll meet someone to love you ^^
27yo man here... I relate to you
i’m turning 22 this month and never kissed or dated anyone. its very comforting how many people have the same experience considering how much the media pushes this idea of having at least one high school sweetheart and then going on to find love in college. this idea that not having multiple partners by 18-21 means you’re an ugly prude needs to end
Literally same i feel horrible
she dont want you@ville__
@ville__ why
Very good looking people are intimidating and never approached, or only by arrogant creeps.
literally the Same here at 23 years old
It's not only the fact that I am single, It's the fact that everyone else in my surroundings is not. I'm not my friends priority anymore. I'm not just single, I'm lonely
I feel you. also when your younger friends/siblings get into relationships and you just watch like a dumb man. 🧍 🧍♂️. 🧍♀️
ugh i felt that! it gets lonely :/
Same, all of my friends literally ditched me for their boyfriends. When I've been in their life for way longer and probably will be longer as well. Friendships are not getting valued as they should compared to romantic relationships...
Me too its soo lonely
Omg I relate to this so much! And I'm almost 30, it gets worse with the age
"Being with the wrong person can make you feel lonelier than you'll ever feel alone"
Very very true
eh. they're about the same. either way is shit. speaking from experience.
I'm 24 and not only I've never been kissed, I've never had any romantic-ish situations. Like, I've never been flirted with, no one has ever slide in my dms, no one asked for my number and etc. And i just don't understand why. I'm fine with it, i enjoy my own company. But I still get this feeling sometimes that there's something wrong with me. I know I am beautiful and smart and interesting, i have friends who love me, and I wish to know what is it in me that while a lot of people want to be friends with me, no one has ever wanted me romantically (or at least sexually)
I feel the same, I feel a little better after reading similar experiences and knowing that I am not alone
I'm the same age as you and having the same experience. You're not alone with this
Were YOU ever interested in anyone romantically?
Have you tried dating?
Intimidation can be a factor, especially if only creeps approach you.
I'm 19 and I have never kissed a boy either. Been single all my life and that's okay 😊
*happiest birthday ever* 🎉❤@ville__
Me too lol😅
@ville__happy birthday ❤
I'm 19 too. I haven't even held hands with someone romantically.
@@ObeyLuciferthat pfp n name is telling 😭💀
I don’t mind being single I just don’t like being constantly reminded of it and feeling pressured by my family and friends. I’m introverted and have social anxiety so it makes it hard for me to meet or talk to anyone. I’m 20 and haven’t had my first kiss or been in a relationship. But that’s okay because I’m focusing on me and living my life, sure there are times I get lonely and insecure. But I rather wait for the right person then just be with someone for the sake of being with them.
This is so me, the pressure is real. "You've gotta start talking to someone, I want grandkids in the future"🧍🏾♀️
I can hardly even make friends, let along talk without feeling judged by someone. I'm sad that we feel like this, but it's a little better knowing I'm not alone 🥹🥲
@@woahthere_dami My friends always ask me for relationship advice even though they know I have no experience. I get my advice from movies, tv shows, books, my mom and aunts. I’m not gonna be able to help much considering I don’t have any experience. And I can’t relate to the situation. I always say don’t blame me if something goes wrong with your relationship and don’t mention that I was the one who gave you the advice because I don’t want your partner getting mad and wanting to fight me. I’m just trying to help my friends. 😣
This is so me 😮 same I give advices for my friends even though I am not experienced just give them through movies, tv shows
stop asking everyone that youre a weirdo@ville__
@ville__ you don’t belong here you’re creepy
Thank you so much - I needed this. 35-year-old single professional woman, virgin, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed. I’ve only been on one date in my life, just before I turned 29, with a guy from a dating app, and it was a huge disappointment. I’m so happy with my life the way it is. I have the freedom to pursue my passions and nurture my interests, and I feel immensely fulfilled from my relationships with family and friends. But, the societal pressure to couple-up is very real. Thanks for the reminder that I don’t need that noise. I am happy, and that’s what matters.
Why do you think you are still single? As in, never been with anyone? Just asking because a lot of people find it more shocking to hear of a woman being chronically alone and single later than normal due to the unfairness of men always having to make the first move and court women, most people believe that women are in abundance by default
@@nobodysperfect06 Isn't the "unfairness of men making the first move" the answer? So guys get bitter or nervous and don't make a move, and women are expected not to do it themselves, so no move ends up being made.
I'd imagine most women with no experience haven't tried making moves and it boils down to men not making moves on them either.
That's how it is for me anyway.
So the solution ig is changing the dating scene to make it encouraged for women to show interest more often and teaching men how to do it properly (since a lot of the difficulty comes from the way they do it ending up creepy/inapproriate)? Also maybe including other people more like parents, peers, etc, in finding good matches instead of dating apps.
@@nobodysperfect06 Though sometimes getting a relationship just isn't a goal for some people (like me). So even if given the opportunity, it would be rejected, because being in a relationship is a specific lifestyle and commitment that just isn't desirable sometimes. Which I think is less desirable for women usually than men, since relationships tend to end up badly for women very often (unequal labour share at home and emotionally, higher physical burden for things like childbirth, loss of power/independence that often happens as pressure of the relationship, etc).
I enjoyed reading your comment!
I'm the same, except I am not happy yet. If I cannot love myself and take care of myself or be content with my life, I will not suddenly become content with a partner.
It's nice to know there's other people out there in the same boat I am - early/mid-twenties and never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, etc.
I think it's good to remove the stigma from being single, and for people to remember it's okay to not be in a relationship. But it's also okay to WANT a relationship while being single, and I think that's something that gets forgotten.
I really think there needs to be a balance: it's wonderful to be single and happy with it, but that doesn't mean it's NOT okay to be single and desiring a relationship. Wanting to be in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you're not happy being by yourself.
@ville__ Yes, I do
@ville__ sunflower1066. I'm not very active on it though
@ville__ sunflowergirl1066. I'm not super active though
@ville__ hmmm it's not showing up. But they made me change my username yesterday so maybe that's why. Try sending to sunflower.girlie
Don't add stranger online to some social media or w/e. If some stranger in the comments is asking you to add them online the rules from childhood still apply changes are they're some weirdo or cr eep. this dude is msging every single woman under this is that's targeted towards never dated women and you think its it's not a red flag? Delete him off your disc. Or w/e he added u and re po rt the dude cause he's h@r@ssing everyone here
I think this message should be for women AND men. I imagine men get judged very harshly if they have never experienced romance/initmacy early on. You are spot on about the negative influence of dating apps making it harder for anyone to get into genuine relationships. Its hard for men and women
you are so right! i haven't even thought about it but i can deifitely imagine how much young men/boys are pressured to be experienced in such things from a young age on
As a young man myself, watching this video to see it from a woman's perspective, I'd say that feeling this kind of pressure depends on the environment you find yourself in. That goes for boys/men and girls/women alike.
I am the only person in my family that isn't in a romantic relationship and have been for quite a while now. Sometimes I get asked when I'm finally getting a girlfriend and it makes me feel like I'm falling behind and failing.
In my group of friends, though, not everyone has experience and there's no peer pressure at all and when the topic comes up, it's all just jokes and nothing serious.
It's actually great that social media show us that there are so many men and women growing older without getting to experience what it's like to be loved romantically by and be physically intimate with someone else. It shows that it is not uncommon or necessarily weird not to have experience and, although frustrating for many sometimes (me as well), is nothing to be ashamed of.
@@quintenmeijerink5339 yeah I also think it's really reassuring knowing that we are not the only one person in this situation, in fact the more I watch this kind of content, the more I realize there is nothing wrong with me, I just go at my own pace.
Having a societal pressure to get in realtionships sucks for all beacuse it becomes a bucket list of experiencies "you need to have" instead of powerful moments that turn into dear and special memories as time moves on
Oh it matters and probably a lot more. If you’re a guy with little to no experience you might as well be invisible or gross to like a large chunk of women, they don’t like inexperienced men.
I’m 21 & I have never been in a relationship, not even been on one date so seeing the comments definitely makes me feel less lonely - with social pressure & seeing peoples relationships all over social media (one of the reasons I deleted instagram & TikTok) it can make you feel odd, but a good reminder for anyone in the same boat is that we’re all on different timelines, never force/rush things - what is meant for you, will always find you at the right time ☺️
Same im gonna be 22 in a month but I feel horrible about it
i also haven't been on insta and tiktok in a while, i think it's better that way
Just turned 20 and honestly I just don't think I have the energy to put into a relationship and nowadays I feel like looking for sb through apps is a sour norm. Good thing I really enjoy spending time on my own and just have a healthy relationship with who I am and what I strive for. Also yeah male validation is nice but damn I don't think it's so great when it comes from the place of objectification of women. So yeah I am just waiting till something clicks and I go ig I am ready to explore that side of world 😂
*I was feeling depressed but your video dropped. Let's just say you lightened my day*
hope you feel better soon🫶🏻🩷🥺
Sending you a hug girl ❤
I was 19 and I kissed a sociopath who groomed me, so maybe it’s not so embarrassing to wait until you find someone worth it. Choosing yourself is always a good thing.
+++ exactly
I didn't have a boyfriend until 29. Now I'm engaged to be married. Enjoy the ride, friends. Whether you are single or not, there is so much beauty in life. It is important to learn how to enjoy yourself and your own company. Relationships can be great, but life is so much simpler single.
A woman who never had a boyfriend until 29?
Congrats!
Honestly, that is such a soothing thought. Not necessarily that we‘ll all end up happily hitched but that thing won‘t be as they are right now always, even if it feels like they will :)
@nobodysperfect06 Yes. Did she stutter? 🙄
@@nobodysperfect06 same as me hahahah for me until 30... and not that im not pretty or anything people compliment me of my looks all the time its just that im super introverted and secretive and dont open up easily (its just the way i am bc im a scorpio)
26 soon to be 27 and never been in a romantic relationship. Hang in there guys. One day maybe.
same here! 27 soon to be 28 and never been in a relationship while all my friends and siblings are married and have kids
At this point, knowing there is a community of people living through the same experience is a true anchor for me.
My first Time was at 27 (i mean both) so be patient and focus on being someone you want to be with
'maybe one day' is the most passive mindset you can i have. I can promise you that it won't happen if you don't actively try to make it happen, especially as a guy. If you're a woman, you might get lucky and have a few guys approach you, but even so it won't be the guys you want. So its up to you.
I’m 18 and I ‘ve never been in a relationship nor kissed anyone. I know I’m still very young, but the thing that really worries me is that nobody even looks at me, compliments me or tries to have a conversation. I have several friends who have never been in a relationship either, but at least they receive some sort of attention. I feel like there’s something wrong with, I just want to be like everyone else..
Are you me?!?!? My best friends may be single now but I have not gotten any interest and the one time I did getting attention it may have been for using me for sexual stuff. So the only and first time I felt wanted they were using me. So it feels worrying because lust is not at all what I want hell I may be Ace and want someone to just chill with. It's like asking for that is too much so I don't ask at all..
This only means that you are special. Not everyone can be by your side, because that space is expensive and it worth. Sorry for my bad english, I'm 22 and I understand what you are living. Don't worry, just don't make bad choises for fast results. I kiss at my 21's and I'm the only women I heart I like my first kiss.
Me too
Honestly same girl
I didn't have any boyfriends until I was 18 either...and then I got one and I married him in 6 months. I have no regrets whatsoever, he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Sometimes it just takes a little waiting, but there is someone special out there for you guys specifically ❤
I'm 32, never been in a relationship, never have kissed and still a virgin. Yeah, used to think I was a complete freak - until I started seeing that so many people are miserable in relationships. Heterosexual relationships especially are not made to benefit women, quite the opposite. Single women have always been demonised in Western history, I have chosen to carve out my own path. Single or in a relationship, I don't care. As long as I am happy and healthy!
I'm 24, same and totally agree!
The red pill dudes say the same thing with the sexes reversed. Who's right?
I'm almost 30 and yeah, when you pay attention the majority os relationships are not healthy and are in fact miserable, specially for women
I just want to tell you that I'm proud of you, ok? Please keep making yourself happy
26 here, you're doing great 💜
I'm 24 and single by choice, never had a boyfriend, never kissed someone. I used to be upset about it but I realized that it was only because of the external pressure. I myself love being single and don't feel like I'm missing something. Single women live the longest, healthiest and happiest lives anyway, marriage shortens their life span (there are many studies that back up this fact, google yourself if you don't believe me + married men live longer than single men, surprise suprise ladies, put yourself first). The only reason why I'm feeling lonely at the moment is because literally all of my friends ditched me for their boyfriends which hurts. So I'm prioritizing finding new girl friends at the moment since friendship means everything to me :)
Not so sure about the marriage shortening a woman's life span. Maybe in modern times where the typical arrangement in a marriage is "marriage stress" + "work stress" since nowadays most couples can't really raise a family without dual incomes. The additional work stress shortens the life span, potentially. Only by a year though according to some random article I found on Google. But, during times where women weren't really expected to work and rather just be stay at home mother's, perhaps they were not as stressed as we see nowadays. In other words, the cause for this decrease in a woman's life in marriage might not be from the marriage itself but from something else.
trust your gut yes
the decentre men videos are useful for understanding your boy crazy friends
Yesss..I agree to some extent, live your life to the happiest self you can be and never let societies standards bring you down and make you miserable as nowadays everythings rotting. So glad you prioritize friendship first as ultimately it really is more important imo!
This is all cope
we will cope together sweety. you are not gonna manipulate us into being in a relationship or even dating. f off
THANKS for this video!! This is exactly what I needed.
29, single, never been kissed, virgin etc. 99% of the time I don't care, 1% of the time I feel miserable. Like today. So I really needed this video from a witty and smart person.
Sometimes I'm overcompensating with my job, and sometimes this coping mechanism backfires. There are usually 4 situations that trigger me:
- Fiction that involves a romance subplot (usually badly written).
- Weekends and spare time when I want to do things but I feel too tired to go somewhere at night, watch out for myself, be ready to push back unwanted sollicitation / or to man up and not be depressed because *lack of male validation*, etc. Here in France, it's still too much norm to be coupled as a woman.
- Two of my colleagues who are extremely judgmental of men, of their appearance, of others' relationships, of everybody in fact... always bitching out loud about everything and I know that as soon as I leave I'm the next target. They can't mind their own business for more than a few minutes. I already talked about it to my hierarchy but they won't do anything about it, like, no one cares...
- I'm a lawyer and part of my job involves advocating for children or teens... who often are in relationships and even when it's toxic ones, it really makes me wonder what is wrong with me sometimes. I even question if I can legitimately advise anyone since there is so much infantalisation of people who are single, let alone late virgins (like, how as a child can I be of any use to them? or how could my perspective be of any use since I'm so ignorant of 'the things of life'?). It's a great Impostor Syndrome fuel in fact.
the timing for valentines day though!! this video felt like a comforting talk to a good friend or older sister. thanks zoe🩷
I hadn't kissed anyone till I was 20, I was always so nervous about it. But if you find the right partner that's patient and respectful, they really won't care and will be kind about it!
28 here - no 1st kiss, no relationship so far. It used to upset/ scare me over the years, and at one point in my early twenties I just thought, "if it hasn't happened yet, then it probably never will" being a shy girl, but since then, I've had time to grow as a person and in confidence, so I definitely feel better equipped to deal with the dating scene, now that I don't place my value solely in romantic encounters. I never chose to be single all this time, it sorta just happened that way, but I did choose to not rush into things or to not trivialise intimacy with someone just because hookup culture became a thing.
Great video!!
I'm so proud of you. I hope myself can grow while being single and enjoy it
I'm 26 and have been feeling so much pressure lately, despite loving my solitude. Thanks for this! ❤️
The hookup culture and the dating apps have turned the whole thing into a cheap meat market and devalued everything about meaningful relationships
On the other hand, it’s harder to to meet new people elsewhere
A agree. People don’t want to commit and always think there’s something bette elsewhere
@@64___ Yes, no one wants to commit or even try to commit
public college campus
social meetups
discord
My first kiss wasn't till 20, my friends 27, my other friend 23, so I assure you, it's more common than you think ❤ you're not alone!
Thanks for this Zoe. Always felt like the weirdest person on earth seeing all of the people in my childhood having their first crushes and physically getting into a situationship with them. I think part of the grieve that comes with being a late bloomer is that you'll never know what it actually would've been like to be with your high school crush. You'll never know what it's like to have all those first times when you're a teenager
I’m finally there after a decade of throwing myself into toxic relationships as if my life depended on it and a nasty break up. I finally can appreciate myself.
Same situation although I sometimes regret it that I have wasted my precious time on someone who don't even deserve it
As a man, I find this to be an incredibly interesting perspective on womens' singleness. It's nice to see that the same issues men face women also face, and it is essential to learn how to be alone in a healthy way. Thanks for sharing!
Same for me but the other way around. What a cool comment I didn’t expect to find a comment like this ❤️
I'm 32 and have never been in a relationship, never held hands, never been kissed, etc. Maybe it'll happen someday, or maybe it won't. But I'm happy having the time to myself and getting to just live my life for me.
A woman who has never had a boyfriend?
^bruh why TF are you in every woman’s business caring so much??? Obviously you think a real woman couldn’t do that or that a woman must be sooo weird to behave that way or something 🙄 but YOU are the weird one for caring so much about what other women do and don’t do. And women are not defined by men or their relationship to them. You are pathetic fr. There’s nothing wrong with Peachy and we support her.
I really enjoy ur videos, the calmness and the personal talk is like the big sister you always needed. For religious reasons, I've never kissed a boy etcetc. But because I listened to their lies, I was in long distance relationships for awhile - I was so lonely from friends that I went for men who didn't feel about me in the same way, but were able to lie and say "I love you, we'll be together for ever". Those words, are so manipulative. I was so young and didn't understand. Now I know the problem, and that I feel worse in a relationship when I am seeking validation.
I won't date someone, unless I know them for a long time as a friend, and that they culturally match what I want my husband to have, same religion etc, and I won't be lied to again or hurt others how I was hurt - i'll take my sweet time in finding who I love, and who loves me equally ❤.
The internet can be a dangerous place when you are young, please be safe. Its very easy to lie/be lied to.
I didn't kiss anyone until I was 23 or 24, when I fell in love with my late partner who I was with for 11 years before he passed away in 2022. I think it's way more common to not have a relationship these days or sexual experience than anyone realizes. I always thought I was weird, but I also refused to check off the box just for the sake of it, and I'm glad I didn't. I know myself, and I know it wouldn't have made me feel good at all to force it to happen.
I want more people to openly talk about this for young women because it's absolutely normal. Some people start that journey younger, and some older...and it does not make any difference whatsoever.
♥️♥️♥️
I remember the pressure I put on myself to fit in. Looking back I wish I would’ve shown myself more compassion and didn’t push myself to engage in things that didn’t feel right and aligned just to tick some experience-boxes. People, listen within, your paths are unique. You’ll know what’s right for YOU. No looking left and right needed :) YOU ARE ALL WORTHY AND LOVEABLE MIRACLES ❤️
I turn 23 in a month. Never been in a relationship, never held hands romantically, never been kissed, etc. In real life, I don’t know anyone my age who has never been in a relationship, or even situationship. I am completely fine with been single and using this time to invest in myself and my interests, but I can't help but sometimes wonder if there is actually something wrong with me. But then I realise it's mostly societal expectations which are introducing these thoughts. It's videos like this and also these comment sections which help me realise that I may not be alone in this situation.
Although I am not in this situation anymore I still resonate with the feelings of isolation, feeling inferior etc that come with never being kissed of loved romantically. I felt embarrassed as I was 24 with no love life whatsoever. How was I gonna explain that no guy had ever held my hand, looked at me in a romantic way or kissed me. And then I met my boyfriend. Just when I thought I was apparently not enoigh to be loved in a romantic way. I told him about my lack of experience and he did not mock me like I had imagined thousands of times. He was gentle and sweet about it. What I want to say with this is: there is someone out there who will squeal with excitement at the thought of being in your life, holding your hand and calling you theirs. Do not settle for less! You are an amazing ray of sunshine in the life of those around you. Happy Valentinesday! Here’s to loving yourself where you’re at ❤
Good for you. Unfortunately, the gender-reversed situation wouldn't happen. Most women despise male virgins and ugly men (don't believe what women say, believe only what they do, and they prefer f-boys just to cry about how they were "used" later).
I dated around because I thought my time was running out. I'm in my mid-20s and I've never had a BF. After dating around for a while, I realized that either I haven't met the perfect match for me yet or a relationship is just not for me. I find dating to be so tiring. At first, it was exciting cuz of all the flirting and stuff but after a while, it got repetitive and boring. I found myself the happiest when I wasn't dating. So yes girls, being single by choice is a thing.
i think you wouldn't find it tiring if you loved the other person and feeling sexual attraction towards it. So, i can relate. I do not want at all to go out with guys from dating apps. I did that. And the one run off and stayed with me only for 30 minutes. And then never spoke to me again, which was fine by me since i could not even get a word out of his mouth, and then another guy wanted sex so he started texting me and asking me to go out with me only after midnight and i was like.... Is he a seriall killer? And he was a handsome one but he did not know how to talk. He would only text me " hi" and then a " lets meet". Without anything else. Except his cat once which was cue but not enough for me. But then i went on a date with a guy i met in a cafe. After we got a good time, the next day i saw him at the center of our town, ( how should i know that from 1.000.000 people he would be there?) and then guess what happened. He flirted with my friend in front of me. He touched her waist and hugged her so much he almost kissed her. And then he told me to go out with him again. And then i blocked him and never spoke to my friend cause she got so happy that i was humiliated in front of her and the girl started to say how not so tall he was and how he stuck her body into his. And she could not stop smiling. But guys were always flirting with her everywhere we go, but at that day i was like ( him too? From all the people in a city of 1M, he chose her too?) and the fact that the girl died her hair the exact color i died my hair some weeks ago did not help at all. And it was fucking pink. Not brown or black. It was pink. And she was a blonde one. She went from blonde to pink. The problem exists everywhere. Its called " male brain". I cant wait to meet someone who is not an asshole.
@@yours_eve2001 Some of the guys I dated had red flags so no wonder I didn't fall for them. Others were decent but I didn't feel any attraction towards them. I dated a guy recently who was very kind and caring towards me. He liked me very much so I kept seeing him hoping that feelings would grow. However, I realized that I couldn't feel a connection with him. Also, whenever I asked him why he likes me, I didn't get anything substantial but just full of crap like "you are so pretty and classy blah blah"...very surface-level. I could relate so much with the "male brain". Whenever I'm dating someone new, it always feels like they have similar patterns on how to approach girls... a very simple and predictable one which makes the game boring. Also, it's true that males would often be very surface-level. They'd rather date a brainless and stale personality beauty than someone they actually have a connection with.
I've started therapy recently and really struggled to bring this topic up with them because I know the answers already, but they don't resonate with me or how I feel. Like, being told to "enjoy my own company" when I'm starting to get sick of myself and would like to get a break by being around another person. But the struggle is just finding people, it's so difficult right now. And like you said, dating apps are trash and many are only built to keep you there rather than help you find people to be with away from the app. I recently came out as bigender, but I still have most of my stuff as a cisman because this beard and beer gut aren't foolin anyone. And I've noticed that the pressure you described for women to get married has almost been passed over to men (but not in the same way at all). That "male loneliness epidemic" comes from guys who have been inundated with the idea that the only love that exists is romantic love, not familial, fraternal, or self love. Their worth is starting to be defined by what they think women want and not by who they are. And even when you break free from those systems of thinking, the hard part is that it's still been so deeply engrained in you that romantic love is such an integral part of life that you need to find it somewhere.
I'm 24 now, live with my parents, unemployed, struggling to find a job, struggling to see myself as attractive, and struggling to come to terms with how my upbringing as a man has developed these problems. Saying "I want a girlfriend" may just mean sexual desire, but to be honest, I just need a hug and someone to tell me I'm enough. Because when I look at myself, I don't see someone who is worthy to judge that distinction. I cannot afford myself self-love. I want someone beautiful to tell me that I'm beautiful, too. Personally, not through a screen anymore, not with some non-specific ASMR video. Someone who sees me and says "You are worthy of love from someone like me." And I think there's a lot of guys out there who feel that exact way and it's why we're dealing with this epidemic.
This
Basically, you think your "loneliness" won't be gone without acquiring a beautiful object whose sole purpose is to cater to your ego. No mutual connection involved, and god forbid she have expectations, wants and needs of her own. Dude, get your own place and look after yourself first. And ugly people exist, ugly girls exist too and are straight up told by dudes they're never going to be loved. They aren't running around making it the world's problem. I assure you your life will improve vastly when you stop viewing women as objects you're entitled to but aren't getting, rather than autonomous, complicated human beings, each worthy of respect and dignity in their own right.
Here's a harsh pill to swallow, a spoiler alert, if you will: even if you somehow snag yourself a pretty dream gal who sits still, looks pretty with a mouth sewed shut at all times, it won't fill that void within. It is an internal thing that no one but you can fill, and that takes inner work, and it's not easy.
THAT is where your worth comes from, not the world around you, not other men telling you you're an inferior man. Who are you without other men telling you the hierarchical commandments to be a superior male? Who are you when you're alone, without any influences? If you hate your own company, that's where your work lies: within.
Nah, they want a wife to replace all the jobs they refuse to PAY for they want free labour, BurbnBougie has videos on that. Men believe in Disney too much, true. A wife won't fix THEM as a person yknow? Elicia Goguen has good glow up videos. Self-love is self-concept work, Neyah has videos on that. Validation is not external. You crave emotional intimacy, look it up. Emotional dysregulation too.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! You’re right about self love being a tough thing to muster :(
Not to sound insensitive but I think what you really need is a support system and to work on your mental health, which does not mean a girlfriend can't be you trying to create a support system for yourself, but what you also need there are meaningful friends who you can trust and tell your struggles to who will care about it, because if you make one person your entire world it will make your life only cricled around them and if you break up then you will end up at the same place where you started. It's like a building you need more columns and to learn how to love yourself even if it's through sb's eyes. Hope it gets better!
I have a friend who went into depression and cut contacts with all her old friends (and some family members) because of this. Her family is very “family oriented” and she is the only one who is unmarried and never had a boyfriend either. I remember talking to her about it when she was 27 and how sad she was. She didn’t want to attend her younger sister’s wedding… She is now 37 and still a virgin. She also “wasted” several years being in love with someone she only met a few times casually in a friend group. They never kissed or even went on a date, but she was convinced he was her soulmate 😢 She finally started therapy during Covid but struggles with the fact that she is now in her late 30s and thinks that a lot of opportunities are no longer there. I guess my point is - if you enjoy being single and childfree, awesome! But if you want a partner and a family then the sooner you start figuring what’s holding you back - the better
As an autistic person, the message of being alone in a room full of people is one of the reasons I (and many others on the spectrum, but I can only speak of my experience as no two people are alike) feel isolated while the world is telling us that we are wrong. I know what small changes would make me more at peace, but they go against the norm, so for a long time I felt pressured into becoming NORMAL, this is the concept of masking. I suffered great mental perish through the forced action of meeting social rules and regulations. In the same way the concept of romance and how it is embedded in our minds as the correct and decired way of life. That is why children talk about their gf/bf without having the capabilities to understand the emotional and sexual difference between a good friend and a partner. This early "propaganda" (for lack of a better word) through movies, tv, books and ads, is why many of my friends have expressed sorrow and feeling of them having faults and desperation can be seen growing before puberty and a sexual drive has started. Today those friends have forced themselves into relationships where they are hurt just for the ability to adhere to the norms, or they express a deep want and yearn for it. I thank you for spreading this and attempting to create a change where people are accepted for not wanting or not having romantic relationships. People should enter relationships to grow because they truly believe this person helps them in that regard. Becoming comfortable with oneself should be what society strives fore, it is an art not a given. Again thank you for talking and sheding light on this important topic
I’m 19, still very young in my eyes, and never had ANY experience either. It used to bother me but then I look at my straight taken friends and their relationships or partners are definitely not something I’m jealous of. I know my time will come, I know it’ll probably be a little later and I’m so okay with that. Rather I’d be with the love of my life in a few years than to have something „casual“ with an immature teenage teenage boy who would contribute nothing good to my life. Tbh I had this feeling since I was younger, maybe I’m just a late bloomer but I’m definitely meant for something real and I stand by that😌
I'm 36 and I felt so behind because I lost my virginity quite old and I haven't had a serious relationship ever!! So to everyone feeling bad about it I can say it will happen,don't chase it ,let it be and wgen it finally happens you'll see is not a big deal.
From 6th to 8th grade the question
"Who is your crush" always stuck it they didn't ask celebrity crushes and for me if I didn't answer they would have been like "either tell us who your crush is or sit alone"
I used to turn my head and sit alone
Why can't people accept that few people don't constantly have crushes
Omg same I mena I didn't sit alone I just would stick to not saying if I had any bcs well I recognised at the time that it wasn't a smart thing to give people bullets to shoot you with socially. I feel like it's a very important skill to not crumble under social pressure tbh so I am grateful I practised it.
As a guy, I gotta say this video was comforting to watch. I don’t know if it was due to the video setting, your outfit matching the room, your voice or your simultaneously dyed and natural hair, but it was very soothing. Also you are pretty! 😊
Nice to know I’m not the only one. I’m 25 now (as of yesterday!) and I have never been on a date, never been kissed, never really had a real, official, fully functioning partner, among other firsts that haven’t happened. I felt like I was the only one and something must be so wrong with me socially. I met a guy that I felt in my gut was my husband, but the whole thing fell apart and now I am so lost. Thank you so much for making this video. I don’t feel so alone now. ❤
one way for me that makes the alone time less lonely is praying. truly seeking Jesus in the quiet brings so much peace !!
Honestly I’ve felt some of the pressure as a 29 year old guy who’s never been in a relationship either (for guys we’re just considered losers if anything) and when I was looking at certain incel/Manosphere spaces out of curiosity there’s the repeated claim that “women have it easy” when it comes to dating, my impression is that as usual it’s a lose-lose situation as girls are shamed if they have too many partners but they also get shamed if they don’t have any either so as usual thank you for sharing your experiences
I'm 42 and have had more relationship experience than I care to remember. My first serious relationship started at 18 and almost broke me. I met my husband at 25, and he was worth the wait. I lost him, suddenly, leaving me widowed at the too young age of 36. It's me and our son, now, and I'm honestly good with that. If I fall in love again, that's great, but my life is full. I'll be OK regardless
i have never been happier in a relationship in comparison to being single. i think this is because everytime ive started a relationship or situationship with someone my intentions were to be in a relationship. this blocked me from building truly meaningful and real bonds w the guys especially because i often didnt know them as friends before. the social pressure i felt in high school to date and get "experience" before college, and the insecurity of being alone pushed me into these. yet when i was in them i always ended up realizing how much happier i was on my own and dumped the guy a few weeks or months in. the second the honeymoon phase ended i always realized how little our relationship equated to. so for all the single girlies out there, enjoy it! ive been embracing it the past year and ive never felt more confident in myself and my lifestyle. maybe one day the right guy will come and ill be ready for him, but i dont even care anymore lol, and omg its liberating.
Didn't have a boyfriend until 26. I'm 33 and married now. Love my husband but I'm glad it took me a while
Been having a hard time with this exact thing recently….Really comforting to see I’m not alone and it’s not just a me thing ❤️
I don’t think we made to be alone, I think we made to learn to love each other better together.
these days talking about love and crushes in high school or middle school is getting to the students in my school. sometimes you feel pressured when people ask you about it and I do too. it's irritating knowing someone likes you when you don't, but you don't want to hurt them. I feel out of place as an ace in my school. I like that I can relate with a lot of people on the internet.
Your distinction between lonliness and solitude is such a much needed reminder
There is this certain validation we need to feel that it’s okay to be alone and not fit into a certain criteria and I feel you gave that
Saying that it’s okay to love yourself is sometimes all one needs
Drew Berrymore did a movie called “Never been kissed” back in the 90s. I’m going to go watch it now for nostalgia and research purposes.
Kissing in general seems overrated. You don't get to see many people saying they've never kissed a guy or girl in their lives.
Here I am 😂 no but I don't think it's quite the thing that comes up when people discuss dating lives and stuff. Usually it's more have you had any significant other and such like I don't think kisses are that important to most people.
i personally love kissing:)) a lot of people do…i remember before i kissed anyone i thought it must be overrated and sounded so gross. but for me it’s electric.
(my first partner i was not compatible with though, so it was just likw kissing a mouth and felt so disgusting. it was just thw wrong person cus now kissing is my faaaavorite. but yk. some people prefer holding hands. lots of serial hook-upists will not kiss the fling because it feels too personal and intimate. That’s v common w “professionals” too.)
I’ve never left a zoeunlimited video not feeling more uplifted ❤
Your comment uplifted me🫶🏻
ahh ily sm!!
I'm a girl, turning 31 this year. Virgin too lol never kissed anyone even, never even held hands romantically with anyone. Online I had only one crush who was innocently flirting with me, I felt he was kinda sus, blowing cheek kisses, but he turned out to be gay in a closet with a boyfriend 💀 (no homophobia i love and support gays, I'm queer myself) ugh anyways I'm just gonna be alone cause I can't find the right person, neither I want to choose anyone just to be with anyone, rather be alone, and there's nothing shameful about being virgin. i mean is losing virginity a virtue? no. neither is virginity.
wow, I'm 20 yes I had a girlfriend but it lasted a month and we didn't see each other much, and I'm still a virgin but these comments from women give me hope of finding a virgin woman too😢
I'm 21 and never kissed a boy. My guy friends expect that I have a boyfriend when I don't at all.many times I have thought there were chances that I would have had first kiss but I had the expectation it would be magical like you said. At this point, I'm open to casual dating honestly. I don't think I'm patient anymore
This is the most healing and sane video that could come out ont the Valentines's day. Thank you Zoe!
I’m 16 and this is what I fear. Many of my friends express how much they enjoy “teenage love” and are encouraging me to date, but I am just SO shy. I’ve only had 2 guys hit on me in my entire life, but didn’t even catch their names both times because I got out of there as fast as I could. I get crushes on guys and everything, I just constantly second-guess myself. It’s the bane of my existence
Hey! I'm 16 too and strongly relate to you, good to know their are some sane teenagers out there as most teens these days are so obnoxious. I'm also in constant fear that I will not experience teenage love but HELL you never know sometimes life's unexpected so expect the unexpected haha..but yea you have lots of years ahead of you so just keep your head up high :p
@ville__ She said she's 16, are you trying to end up on one of those videos of "catching a discord predator"? Edit: And checking your channel out it looks like you're 30 too... Back off dude.
Found my comment section, hi sisters 🎉
Also never had my first kiss or been in a real relationship. The male validation thing is crazy, the way it causes me to overthink. There's also the thought that rather this than be in a toxic, cold, unaffectionate relationship. And the disbelief that a guy could ever actually like me (even by the off chance they do). It's crazy man.
had my first kiss at 17........... kissed the same person for 5 years. and now... single, i haven't kissed someone in many years.. lol i legit don't date.. i either fall in love or i stay single. i have had crushes but it never came to a relationship. so i have not kissed someone for many years.
i think there is NOTHING WRONG with staying single or have not kissed someone. even in you are in your 20s. because LOVE is not something you can force to happen.. kissing someone you don't really like, but young, does that make it good just because you are young? i'd rather wait to kiss someone who really care about me.
I resonate with you💓💓
Exactly
Something I think you missed is that the vast majority of people want love and companionship. Women haven't been getting married for thousands of years solely because of the patriarchy, marriage evolved because humans as a species fall in love. It hurts to fall in love and never get to feel what it's like to have it reciprocated. For most people, one of the goals in life is to find someone to live happily ever after with. It's ok to not want that, but it's also 100% ok to WANT THAT and for it to hurt that you don't have it yet.
The important thing is to be honest with yourself. If you want to find love, it's ok to admit it and do the work on yourself to figure out how to get it. It's also ok to keep your standards so high that only the absolute right person will meet them, no matter how long that takes.
Your history throwback made me think about how most women prefer monogamous relationships (me included) and tbh it feels like nowadays cheating has been made way easier and not just in the clear cheating situations but also, those had their fair share of not being spotted in previous decades, but like porn*graphy like only*ans and cornhub… never before was sexual stuff this accessible and I don't think it was that normal for relationships in the last century. I think it's just the difference that might cause the disconnect in the love aspect tbh.
Honestly for me it's not that I feel societal pressure about not been kissed before, it is more about me wanting it to happen and craving to be in a relationship. I'm probably desperate to want these things so much for 20 years, and I know that I'm worthy of those and capable of being alone.... but I do crave to experience romantic actions at least once to see what that's like
no one cares
I think I've spent enough time with myself...🚶🏾♀️
*same* 🧍♀️
It may feel like it but even in relationship you got yourself at the end of a day
Well unless you glue them to you, you are gonna have to be by yourself sometimes.
@@llamabean529 The key word being "sometimes"
i'm 23 and i had my first kiss/first bf later in life, but it was much more meaningful because i wanted to be with those guys. I'm single now and, as a christian, there's a lot of peer pressure around me and other girls to get married and start a family. Most of my 20 year old peers are either in a relationship or already married, but honestly I cherish my independance and my alone time way too much to bother being single. I love going offline for days in a row and not having to be kept accountable, not having to explain why I was off.
Here's how I see it: relationships are meant to go both ways, so if you're not willing to give away your trust and some of your time and independance, there's no point in looking for a partner in the first place.
interdependence, not codependence
It feels like a relieve that i am not alone with it. I am 22 and never had anything with a guy even when i have been on a lot of dates. I have the feeling that most guys mostly dont seek a relationship. They always want a situationship and nothing serious. Still hoping to find a soulmate one day i cant settle for less💀
situationship doesn't exist, it's a myth, like GF/BF instead of fiance/e
Feel that! 🩷💗🩷
yeah, i realized that when the last guy i went on a date with ( the best date i had so far) flirted with my friend in front of me one day after the date and then asked me to go on a date with him again. And then i blocked him =) and never spoke to my friend again because she got so happy about it she could not hide it.
I know that it's easy to say, but is a reality: There are genuine good guys out there that are worth meeting. Sometimes life is whimsical and keeps you away from them.
The fact that I've had many opportunities to not be single cuz both boys and girls have confessed to me but I just choose to be single... Idk I always said it's stupid to date when you're a teen cuz I want a serious relationship and now everything is so unserious
0:08 The woman who says she is 39 and has never been in a relationship brokes my heart.
My future lol 😂
Now she knows how a lot of men feel, I don’t feel sorry for her at all
@@UserRobot215you know as a man that has been single his entire life, you can be happy over the joy of others or sad about their sadness genuinely? Like you can be sad about the boys and the girls that did not manage to find a fulfilling relationship ?
@@noriantiri9310 I’m sad for the guys, not for the women
@@UserRobot215 hope you learn to be a better human-being soon then. What will hatred bring to you and others in your life except misery?
As sad as this all this, its comforting to know that you're not alone in this
TThank you this gave me encouragement. The men being lonely epidemic makes me sad tho.
genuinely nice to hear that women feel with us
I used to be really overweight from 16-19yrs old so I thought that once I lost weight I was going to have the romantic experiences I wanted, but it wasn’t true. I’ve been skinny for over a year now and nothing has changed
Well but do you get attention? In a romantic way I mean, just curious
@@user-bz4vv5og1v well, after I lost the weight some boys started liking my stories (no one liked my stories before). But I don’t really get asked out or something more than just likes
Thank you so much for this video, it warms my heart to see someone talk about this so kindly. Also I am so so so sorry for your traumatic experience, may God bless you always Ameen. I am comfortable being alone, I have so many hobbies and things that give me joy and I can spend my time with that and also work. I didn't need outside validation and I am contemplating being single by choice. Which is very, very rare from the country and culture I am from. But I could do it. The only thing is, even though I am perfectly happy being single and not waiting for anyone, when one of my friends mentions they have a partner and that they are so loved by them... I feel so insecure all of a sudden. I clam up. As a good friend, I hide my feelings and congratulate them and pray for them. But I can't help but feel really insecure. I'm A-OK at any other time, but when someone simply mentions being in a relationship, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out, making the wrong choice. Also in our culture, its almost unheard of to be child-free by choice. The names people would call you! But I don't want to go through all that. I don't want children. But society has so many pressures. This is why I contemplate being single by choice and maybe I might learn that in addition to being happily single, I can also learn to be un-jealous. Or maybe I might find the perfect guy for me. I don't need him to be perfect, just perfect for me and me being perfect for him. Otherwise, maybe I can learn to be un-jealous. Thank you so much for this vidoe
I’m going to be 23 in a few months, and as a man, I’ve never been kissed by a girl before, let alone held hands with one, and it is a very big insecurity of mine, especially when I see people many years younger than me getting experience. I often panic, and worry that I’ll never get any experience with women. I’ve been working on myself (trying to improve social skills, dressing better, etc.) but the fact that I’m this old and still have not had these kinds of experiences yet really hurts/stings.
It's as Brendon Urie said in his song House of Memories: "If you're a lover you should know the lonely moments just get lonelier the longer you're in love than if you were alone..."
I really start to cry, seeing this video. i fill i have pressure myself too much about this topic, and i am 22. I am too scared to have toxic relationships. Thanks
I’m a 24 year old woman, and I’ve never kissed a dude, let alone go on a “date”. This was very comforting to see how many other women are in the same situation. I constantly compare myself to people I knew in high school, and see they’re starting to get married and have children, while I still act like a teenager and I’m too shy to actually approach someone. I’m too scared of rejection, or too nervous to ask if they’re single or not. I like to think that I have pretty interesting and unique hobbies and interests, but still don’t feel adequate enough to flirt with anyone. I’ve always been extremely shy, and I think that’s my main issue.. I keep waiting for someone to make the first move and sweep me off my feet like a romance film, when I know very well that’s not how real life works😢
-Thanks for coming to my TedTalk-
I'm 24 and never had a boyfriend before. You know what's funny when I was 21 I thought I will have a boyfriend by this time. I was like you know what I have time just be patient it will happen. Now I don't even know if it will happen. I'm at a point where I will lie to men about my relationship experience because most adults don't want to date inexperienced people unfortunately. It is what it is.
The part with " art of being alone" is very relatable. Lately I have been feeling like I need to make new connections and friends because only people I speak to everyday just my mom and coworkers. But at the same time I feel pressured to make connections because of the society. Seen other people having fun in large groups of friends might be sad sometimes. But at the same time you never know what that person truly feels and if they truly enjoy to be a part of the friend group, not just for the image.
My boss invited me to party to celebrate coworkers bday but it took me forever to actually accept that I don't want to go. The last time I went to similar even like this was sad and I was feeling lovely and out of place even tho there were a lot of people around that I knew well. Crazy how you might feel lonely even in a room full of people👀
NEVER kiss/date just for being able to say "I did it I'm no longer a loser"
Just do it if you want, trully want
i love your videos, your so motivating! i'm 20 and single since i was born, your kinda my role model, and the proof, that though someone is single, it doesn't mean she's not pretty and amazing
If you never had a relationship, how do you know being single is just as great? Having a deep intimate relationship can be very fulfilling. the challenge of sharing your inner world with a person outside of yourself, and learning how to trust someone else with your body and soul, all of that makes you grow as a person. Sure, some relationships are unhealthy or unhappy, but that doesn't mean that love in and of itself is negligible, or nothing but an addictive norm. Just like with family relations- some familes are bad, but a great one can enrich your life and offer a necessary sense of community. We should encourage people to have meaningful relationships, instead of pushing them to seek isolation.
I think it's about craving a relationship. A lot of people just want it, but some like for example me don't feel strongly about it. I suppose relationship is what you and the other person makes of it but it truly is a more complicated friendship with more aspects to it imo. Still if you feel fulfilled and happy with who you are you don't really feel that need to get validated by sb loving you ig. I know it's chaotic I drank two coffees too close to each other, but also you can see and observe many relationships around you and how they work etc. which well is quite useful at determining if it's worth it or not. I am also a massive introvert so definitely not the best judge of it but personally I have very low social needs and could go a very long time without a need to talk to anyone and sharing some stuff with another human being doesn't sound fun.
Edit: also we shouldn't push people into relationship if they don't feel ready. Let them live their own lives and don't shame them for not wanting to get involved with sb like that.
Singlehood is not isolation though
eww, girl. u missed the point.
I think she knows that. Most of us want a relationship, just not with anyone. It’s rough waiting for the right connection… what she’s talking about is the fact that a LOT of people enter into relationships based on peer pressure alone… not because they want to be in it. Which ends with unnecessary baggage. These are not the “meaningful connections”you’re talking about. This vid is for ppl who are waiting for the right connection. For some people, that might just take longer than others and that’s literally fine. In the meantime, being single means figuring out who you are and what you enjoy while you’re alone.
@maura_the_rose it's more than fine, it can be great! I was single for the first 22 years of my life and enjoyed my freedom a lot:) however, I would question the idea of "waiting". From my experience, a good connection is something that requires mutual work, dedication and willingness to adapt and learn. There's also an amount of openness and charitability you have to show the person in front of you in order to become part of each other worlds
I am 13, and even if I am young, I still feel the social preasure to have a boyfriend, or to kiss someone. Sometimes I really feel bad and hopeless, so this video made me realise that even if I spend my whole life "alone" it´s okay. Thank you Zoe ☺
Let’s not forget social anxiety 😟
I'm gonna turn 24 in August, and I'm also in this situation (never kissed a guy, never had a boyfriend etc.) but honesty, I'm quite happy and never thought I was weird, kinda the opposite, it makes me be different from everyone else and I like that, I'm unique. I am not opposed to having a relationship, I'm still young so God knows what will happen in the future but I love myself, I have my family and my friends, and it's all I need.
Thank you for sharing your experience, and to anyone else who is in the same situation, know that you are fine just the way you are ❤
Lots of love to you all, may you always be happy ❤
Damn, that video came at a good time for me - experienced a bit of self-doubt in recent days. Thanks!
This video came at the exact right time! Some friends keep pushing to go to the club and find boys for me, but I just want to take it slow. I don’t wanna be part of the current hook-up dating area. I found a boy tho, but he lives on the other side of the world. We’re gonna try to make it work and tbh, i don’t care if i have to wait a few years. I rather go unkissed until then, then that i join the hook-up culture. Thank you Zoë for this video!
You sound so mature. It’s nice that you talk about women’s issues without treating men as enemies. Moreover a lot of things you said can be easily applied to men.
And also you have a very nice voice.
I had just turned 26 when I first met my fiancé. Just turned 27, getting married in a month.
HE WAS WORTH EVERY LONELY NIGHT, EVERY TEAR, EVERY BROKEN-HEARTED SOB.
A GOOD MAN IS WORTH WAITING FOR.
24 and never been kissed, never had a boyfriend etc. I’m too shy to approach and face rejection so the few guys I had crushes on ended up getting girlfriends, one is even married and has a child.
Wow.
Just because not everyone gets to experience kisses on the mouth or atleast not getting to experience their first romantic kiss as early as they expected to doesn't mean they have never gotten nonromantic innocent kisses like on the cheek or head from family and friends, stop obsessing over romance and appreciate singlehood as it's not a curse.
Had my first kiss and relationship at 24, 5 years ago. I still remember that fear the girl talked about, the wanting a relationship but not having it. As petty as it is, I was honestly horrified that soon I'll get into the season of life where people will get married and I wouldn't have had a date yet. That changed now but I do know that single Dom felt different after I had the experience of dating. It felt like a choice I can make as opposed to something thrusted upon you by circumstance.
Some of the girls i know who are 19-20 yo are already getting married while i haven't even held hands wth someone romantically in 19. It seems like my fam is pretty worried about me not seeing anyone. My mom even told me i should already be sleeping with guys instead of my plushie.
But i'm okay with being single for now, i enjoy my alone time and i guess that's the only thing that matters. Thank you, it's nice to be heard at least here❤
no one cares
It's really comforting to read all of the comments and to watch the video because you know I'm only 17 I just wonder why this is happening to me. Which sounds like it is something terrible and of course it's not but still like why me? Plus I do feel like maybe I'm afraid of a relationship, or probably more of a first kiss. I don't want it to be awkward or bad. And I know that there have been boys who liked me, one even told me, but only after the feelings went away (I didn't like him anyway haha). Well, and another one told me too, but I didn't like him back at that time (after that I liked him for like 3 years but didn't tell him) I think I'm just waiting for the boys to make the first move. Because I'm an introvert, so its difficult for me to talk to people. Also, I'm really good at inventing excuses of why a boy isn't worth a try.
I don't know if anyone cared about this, but I felt the need to write a comment too, and it turned out to be a lot I wanted to say.
Girl I’m 17 too and in your same shoes. I’m a super introvert as well 😭
@@davinky1229 happy to hear that I'm not alone, haha. It's so weird who important this topic seems to be. I mean, think about it, we are only 17, we have still so much time to experience all kind of things. It's ok if it hasn't happened yet. It will eventually some day.
Great pep talk for you, but also for myself. I don't know where this just came from hahaha
When I was 11 I did already ask myself if I need a boyfriend. ELEVEN. What does today's society do to us? I didn't even know anybody with a boyfriend, and still I thought about needing one. Obviedsy, you should never need a boyfriend. If anything, you should want one. It's a complement to your life, not something that fulfills it. Wow, I can never just write a little bit, I always go for an entire bible
@@lilli5784 That's true. At the end of the day rushing things and being pressured most of the time (if not always) brings bad results.
This is amazing, I love it. Honestly, don't torture yourselves folks 💛
Great message, solitude has been maligned and we deserve better, from the rest and from ourselves. Good vid!
P.s: as a cishet guy (almost 22) who has only kissed someone once, same, the struggle to stop feeling like a freak or a loser is so real that it hurts the brain.
It's just that this video just spoke to me. I am 23 and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never flirted with anyone face to face. Tried Dating apps but they just seemed like a lame thing to meet guys somewhere me being the anxious person I am and there whoever I meet seems to judge the fact that I've never had a boyfriend before and that seemed to be a deal breaker most of the time. And sometimes they just turn out to be too clichéd looking for "nothing serious" and I get fed up after sometime. And whatever zoe said just spoke to me personally. It's really comforting to know I'm not the only one having "the panic" and the need for validation and also I'm happy that people find it's okay to go out alone and have fun alone😌
This was refreshing to watch. I’m 26, never had a boyfriend, first kiss or a male friend before. I believe in universal attraction and am patiently waiting for my soulmate. I’m content, happy and in the best relationship with myself I’ve ever been in my life. ❤
I'm 20 and I've never even kissed anyone so it's comforting to know I'm not the only one. It's not that I don’t think I couldn't be in a relationship if I really wanted to but there just isn't really anyone I want to be in a relationship with. In my entire life there were a total of 3 people I've been remotely interested in, the first 2 I barely talked to, the last one (I'm still not quite over it) has been my strongest crush so far but he doesn’t like me back, I have good reasons to be certain of that. I'm just not social and I have anxiety talking to people and it's a rare occasion for me to even find someone I like. I don’t really mind all that per se but I feel like I'm behind other people when it comes to that kind of experience and that makes me feel uneasy. I try not to stress it though and focus on uni and the other aspects of life, there are worse fates than becoming a cat lady if it ever comes to that lol