Hi zoe i didn't really get this video? Infantilization and just dressing how you like to is a different thing do women expire at 40 and can't wear what they like after that age?? Didn't expect this from you..
Hola zoe, quería preguntarte si podrías hacer un video sobre donde compras tu ropa de una manera sustentable, ya que no quiero comprar marcas que no sean justas laboralmente y contaminen, me a sido difícil encontrar un sitio donde comprar. Gracias amo tus videos y me haces muy feliz❤❤
I think the problem is that we make everything sexual. An older woman that acts young is fine and a younger woman that acts older is fine. They shouldn't be inherently sexual and that's what society makes it
its not inherently sexual, a lot of subcultures like the kawaii fashion style is not inherently sexual, but of course some people will find it attractive, there’s nothing wrong with that (of course im talking about adults here)
@@catty9798there is definitely something wrong with adults being sexually attracted to people who dress up as children idc if its kink shaming its gross
@@zoeunlimited I have to agree. People are truly indecisive when it comes to what they want to do.. Kids want to expirience adulthood, while Adults want to be kids again..
Personally I reject the idea of "dressing/keeping to your age." A 43 year old should be able to wear babydoll dresses and mary janes just like any 19 year old can. A 50 year old should be able to enjoy bows and Sabrina Carpenter as much as she wants to. A women's closet shouldn't be restricted to blazers and pencil skirts just because she happened to live past 30. It feels like the term "self infantilization" gets thrown around a lot to shame older women for enjoying "younger" things when you rarely see men get criticized for the same thing like enjoying video games and legos past their teens (not that they should be criticized either but the double standard is obvious.)
I wouldn't say there is a double standard and there is no reason to bring men into this because terms like "neckbeard/incel/basement dweller" are thrown at men all the time for enjoying things like video games, cartoons, not being into dating, etc. But otherwise, I agree. The only problem with dressing younger than you are, especially if you're dressing as a toddler, is if you bring sexualization into it. Adults should not be dressing as children and babies if there is sexual gratification behind it.
i mean, manchild is a thing and men do get criticized for not growing up, the difference with men is that it's about their hobbies and permanently sticking to the clothes they wore in their 20s, whereas some women act like kids and even talk in a childish high voice. the issue isn't women not wearing blazers or pencil skirts, nor is it having a youthful style, but acting and dressing like helpless children and doing so much to look like a "sexy baby" as taylor swift said. just my thoughts, i just find it odd, especially the older you get
I agree but do you know if anyone of the examples do that? I feel the videos missed the point several times mixing dump things influencers do to the topical of "infantilization"
I feel like it's also important to mention the subject of dopamine dressing! It's mainly with people who are adhd or in general neurodivergent, but people who have those diagnosis are finally becoming louder in what they want; especially in their clothing. I myself am FINALLY wearing the clothing i want to wear! (Example; run&fly overalls.) But because we finally can dress how we want, which can be a bit extravagant, people also start seeing us as manic pixie girls which is a conversation in itself, anyhow, dopamine dressing! Very much a thing! And not a bad thing!
@@princessmanitari4993 same, I don’t want to be called infantilized or be associated with these people for liking the Lolita fashion. I’ve just always loved pastels bows frills and poofy skirts. I never got that as a kid, so now I want it as an adult.
You do have a point! But some things have to go into play to consider this statement. The way people dress, aesthetic-wise, is usually a reflection of themselves, their beliefs, and ideals. The case of whether they are or want to be infantilized is categoric. This goes from mild to extreme. For an extreme example: Belle Delphine. She made a literal living off doing suggestive things, while dressing like a kid AND acting like one. Was this what she wanted? Yeah, for money. One on the less harmful end is the Japanese aesthetic Jojifuku (and Yume kawaii if you wanna look that up) both incorporating elements of childish girlhood but 9/10 times are grown women. They do not want to be infantilized and don't pander to the p3d0filic audience (the majority at least). I understand what you're saying but its a tad deeper than your blanket statement so I just wanted to add to it, perhaps clear it up!
@@chats-w-josiey Absolutely. I wear J-fashion. I wear it because I love that I the individuality of the fashion and that I can be big, bold, and me. I'm just not a fan of the often very boring, cookie-cutter fashions of today. I stand by the fact that no fashion should be age restricted. It's just clothes. These clothes make me happy. I think it's important to remember, too, that the fashion I wear, lolita, was created to explicitly regret the male gaze because of it's over-the-topness and flamboyance. It was created as a women's movement, and, for that, I'm proud to be part of this community.
I have been broke for my entire 20s. No one is gonna shame me for finally dressing the way I want to, no I will not be dressing in bland clothes just because it’s “age appropriate”. I’m gonna be the kooky old lady that wears colourful cute clothes and that’s that.
Totally. My wife is 32, and constantly worrying about wrinkles. And I wish she didn’t have that engrained in her mind. I tell her she doesn’t even have them and is beautiful, but every time she opens up Instagram she sees this “perfect” world. We all have enough to worry about without putting down women more.
A lot of the examples you used of "childlike" clothing were actually examples of Japanese subculture styles. Those aren't for the male gaze; they're about maximalist and colourful dressing with nods to rococo and Edwardian period styles.
what about the males who dress kawaii fashion? when they look at themselves in the mirror they are using the male gaze. your comment is so offensive and full of microaggressiveness
My whole life my mom insisted I be more “grown up” and literally threw a little fit if I asked for a Barbie for Christmas at 14. Yet I wasn’t allowed to talk to boys or wear nail polish outside of the house. I do the things I need to do, I don’t over spend, I don’t speak like a baby but yeah. I’m wearing the Barbie jacket. I’m just going to do what I want.
Like wdym you didn't allow me to act like a lil kid when i was young but you get to do it at your grown age?? (for my situation btw, i honsetly inspire to be like you in the future)
@@blueiepureesteluca it's not young af, but she means there's still an abundance of life ahead of you to immerse yourself in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. When society labels someone as "too old" for certain activities, it's like a life sentence, unfairly confining them to passive pastimes like watching TV or gardening, and excluding them from dynamic, enriching experiences typically marketed to younger people. This perspective diminishes the richness of life at any age, neglecting the truth that vitality, curiosity, and the desire to try new things don't expire with age. Keep in mind life expectancy has extended a lot, many live by 80 now.
For some women, I think the 'babygirl syndrome' can be a result of trauma, such as neglect, sexual assault, PTSD, etc. Some women may have been oversexualized and robbed of their girlhood, which causes them to grow up feeling an inherent need to please men and feeling they missed out on being a child or cannot remember due to repression. Some women may want to act like a child as a coping mechanism or as a form of regression during stressful times. With the hyperfixation on youth and the sexualization of girls, combined with individual and systemic factors, it is not a surprise to me that we have adult women trying to hold onto and emulate that youthful appearance. As unfortunate as it is, we live in a society in which young girls and women are simultaneously expected to remain subservient and soft while also being maternal and sexy.
Honestly, this is the best comment on the video. You explained it perfectly on how there is a difficult line between needing to remain youthful but pressured to be sexually from an early age that bleeds into adulthood. This issue is not as black and white as it seems, it’s more complex than people may think. There is a lot of factors, such as the ones you mentioned, that can explain the reason some woman act this particular way.
@@flowerpott26 and then let me add on the layer of neurodivergency, men wanting manic pixie dream girls. Yet, the manic pixie dream girls actually exist and they're called neurodivergent women
@@hoordeyahwhat a generalization...not every young person will be ageist, ntm some of the old ppl could be and are ageist themselves (esp from while they were younger) thus self hating thus feeling the need to always be (talk,act;present) younger. Evb is getting criticized-attacked really-by evb nowadays for anything, its just gotten to an unbearably heightened point (esp w/ sm). Nobody rlly knows anybody individually so just try to be your best self always in your own lane. Old ,young, and not etc whatever.
@@hoordeyah true i don't think telling old people to look their age is a good thing like what do they even mean 'when they say 'look your age!!' To 40 or 50 year olds? They shoukd stop having fun cuz life is over?? That's such a bad take specially when women are considered to 'expire at 35' 🙄
I mean I don't like the s*x*al aspect to this but other then that can you really blame us? Being an adult sucks, especially for the adult part of gen z and millennials since a lot of us can't even afford groceries.
I actually love the older women who are still youthful. Just because someone is old it doesnt mean they need to lose their personality and start being boring and ugly. Edit: by boring and ugly I mean their whole life centered around being a wife and mum, and they lose their passions and forget that they have a life that should be lived. And for ugly I mean they start dressing frumpy because they are "too old" and they stop putting effort into their appearance despite enjoying it because they don't want to be judged
Not all the women you think are ugly or boring are though. That’s such a nasty generalization. Nothing wrong with youthful women, but when it becomes an obsession where you try to look like a kid it’s gross.
This is just one extreme to another, baby. Conflating youth with being interesting and beautiful is a huge problem that you’re perpetuating. If that isn’t your intention then you should really fix your diction, because there’s the implication that older women who embrace maturity are hags in your comment. If you mean what you said then that’s just worse.
@@Rod3839 I'm sorry I mean what I said. My comment has nothing to do with maturity, because maturity comes with age, which is inevitable. I'm talking about older women who express themselves however they see fit, without worrying about if "they're too old to be fashionable" or if they're "too old to try new hobbies or participate in the ones they already have and enjoy". Take Beyonce for example, she's in her 40's or 50's yet you don't look at her and think old woman, same for Christina Agulera and Kim Kardashian. They're older women showing that just because you're older you're not "expired" and I love that for them. There's a whole mindset that people mostly men think that when a woman is over 30 they need to dress a certain way and their role in life is to be a mum and a wife, nothing more. And that's toxic.
@@natas3301 theres a HUGE difference between simply dressing a certain way vs committing fraud and ending up on a seggs offender registry to be around teens my dude...
They dress like that bc they secretly want children, obviously. Glad to see the republican playbook of accusing people displaying behavior you don’t like of beings peds is alive and well.
Whether or not you're in your 20s 30s or 40s you can still be a child at heart had have endless imaginations. Having the ability to imagine and create is what make us humans. However, as human being you need to be responsible for yourself.
Are you saying a 10 year old child obsessed with cosmetics and a 40 year old person acting baby alike (avoiding accountability) is healthy to you? Why is pointing this out "shaming" and normalizing it okay?
To be honest, I don't hate girls or women that much anymore. I just believe that we should be cautious, since we live in a world that goes harsh against them and is cruel. We can't ignore the fact that we live in a society, which has patriarchal or even worse misogynistic ideologies as well, for females in general.
@@annawolnik3312 i didn’t say that. YOU put words in my mouth. there’s nothing wrong with feeling younger sometimes or continuing to enjoy things you liked when you were younger. the child you used to be doesn’t magically disappear just because your body changed. shaming people for holding onto those parts of themselves is really unnecessary and harmful IMO. also, i liked makeup as a child. i used to play with eye shadows and lip glosses because it was fun and a part of dress up. do i think young children need adult cosmetics? no. but i also don’t think it’s unhealthy for them to take interest in experimenting with the art of makeup.
I wish ageists stop hating on women living their lives and taking care of their bodies or enjoying cute concepts. You only get to criticize when they act like babies and not when they are literally just living their lives. Some of you people act like they should dig up their graves because they’re in their 30s/40s and god forbid if a woman is in her 50s or older. What a toxic behavior
exactly. men never get shamed for collecting action figures, playing video games, liking “childish” media, playing with legos, or wearing corny graphic t shirts. in fact, they’re usually praised for it
@@toebiter69yes, she’s definitely hating like she’ll never get old 🙄 . Women can still wear cute and feminine clothes no matter how older in age they get. Just like how men can wear their suits and bow ties from a young age till they grow older and older. Wearing a bow or a pink dress doesn’t make women “childish” it’s only feminine. This whole video is giving misogynist and ageist vibes.
Nah, the best thing I got after hitting 30 is allowing myself to do whatever I want. As long as you don’t pay for one's look and lifestyle, you shouldn't criticize their choices and make superficial assumptions about if they are infantile or not, otherwise it's just peak stupidity.
My 11 year old is suddenly really into Hello Kitty and Friends--I'm encouraging it as much as I can. I just don't want her to try to grow up to fast. Enjoy childish things!
yeah I am still gonna have a full time job, chores and all of that but I am still gonna put lace, bows and frills whenever I want no matter how old I get to be. Like I dress all cute for myself not for other ppl and definitely not for man. You sure are not gonna catch me doing baby talk or wearing diapers that's a pass but also, ppl can do that if they want. Its their time, money and bodies. If you are not paying for that, then keep on scrolling.
And i bet you rocks those outfits!! 💙 I wish I could do that tho~ I always wanted to wear capes or cloaks so much and still trying to integrate it to my daily outfits, but i live in a pretty minimalist neighborhood x3 their eyes could be so sharp sometimes 😅 that's why i try to go to anime conventions, atleast it's a safe space for now, but it's still fun tho~ xD
Kawaii/Lolita fashion isnt about infantilization. Its about wearing something that makes you feel beautiful. Also its a way to dress up and beautifully that doesnt sexualize you. The sad fact is that if you're a woman and you want to be pretty, that often means wearing short skirts, bodycon, boob windows, etc. But kawaii/lollita fashion avoids that and appeals more to the female gaze than the male gaze. Its not about trying to prtend your younger, act younger, or infantilize yourself.
@Vivi_Pallas the Lolita reference is a sexual reference. Are you familiar with the original context? (This matter has been addressed so no further corrections are warranted. Thank you.)
@@angelelida4680 I am very aware. So much of being in the Lolita community is saying that it has nothing to do with the book. A lot of people use the term EGL fashion to get rid of this. A lot of Lolita online spaces get deleted because they ban the word. It has literally nothing to do with the book and you can't exist 5 minutes without having to explain this to someone for the 100th time.
@@angelelida4680 It's not. You know nothing about the fashion if you think it has anything to do with the book, it takes a two seconds Google search to find out. It's even spelled out on the literal Wikipedia page for the style. Outsiders need to stop speaking over people from the community.
Yes! I’m a lifestyle lolita/ otome girly fashion enjoyer and this video felt soooooo off to me. I have a job and am currently being educated, I’m not trying to escape from anything or act like a little girl, I just want to wear pretty clothes and surround myself with beautiful things! I want to keep joy and whimsy in my life, even if I can only do it through fashion. I hate when other women act like this is suddenly threatening to women as a whole, as if we will be taken less seriously for just wanting to be cute. What happened to girls supporting girls fr😕
Ok but I’m a 41 yr woman and. Decided recently that I’m going to wear space buns because it’s a hairstyle I loved back in the 90s and my mom hated it because she said it made me look like miki mouse, so I never wore it like that, I’m aware it looks funny now that im 40 but I don’t care anymore I’m in my 40s and not getting any younger so just let me have my space buns for crying out loud. I’m an adult now I can do whatever I want
A lot of these videos are satire and rage bait because they know you’ll click on it. Let’s just not judge and let people wear what they want. This is part of the problem.
"When I became a man I put away childish things, like the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis My own blip of existence on this hunk of rock hurtling through space is far more interesting to me than what other grown women choose to wear.
Yeah this analysis missed the mark so hard it feels ooc and tbh falls heavily into the lie that a woman can be either 'mature' (correct) or 'infantilized' (incorrect). It shows a complete misunderstanding tbh
I thought it was a fairly decent video discussion, but as I noticed several videos and images taken out of context and passed off as something different, the video sorta just felt half done. It's an interesting trend to see the youth dressing up as elders, and the elders dressing youthfully, but not many of the visuals were supporting her stance very well.
I felt the same way. It felt like a lot of topics were taken into consideration without making actual arguments about their relation to the main topic.
There’s this weird thing when you are like mid twenties when people think you should suddenly stop liking the things you like and start dying or something.
Ikrrr I'm 24 that graduated recently and suddenly ppl are treating me differently..before 1 or 2 years they be like oh you're young don't do this don't do that and now out of the sudden they're saying you're old when are you going to have a baby....God let me breath it's not even a year since I graduated...and I thought I was in school for 18years to work so the moment I finished that I have to be a mom? If that is the case, I could have been a mom at 18 without going to university....idk it's very confusing age some times you're young and sometimes you're old
Tbh I also think that we have to remember that some ppl on the Internet are literally working, that their images are crafted to/for an audience; I mean Paris Hiltons persona is at this point a brand.
Many millennial women get flak for not hitting the traditional milestones older generations expect. Buying a home, having a stable long-term job, and getting married early used to be the norm, but nowadays, these things are often out of reach due to economic and social changes. Instead of understanding these challenges, society often shames millennials for not sticking to outdated timelines, calling them irresponsible or immature. We need to rethink what being an adult means today. Plus, in our current capitalist world, it's not just vanity when people want to look younger-it's often about staying employable. 🤷🏻♀
Wait until yr 35-40 until ya start telling women how to live. Yeah, the examples you’re showing are super cringe, but it’s deeply complex and personal. Everyone thinks they’re going to “age gracefully” until they actually experience the phenomenon of turning invisible. It’s awful. So yeah, I started working harder to look younger…because I couldn’t stand being invisible. You can’t blame women for just trying to continue being treated like a human being.
@@susanfalco4252 you're not invisible. If you wanna stay younger I'd seriously recommend magnesium, vitamin k2, moderate sunlight (not in the face obviously, we don't want wrinkles), collagen, fish oil, vitamin a (cod liver oil) Astaxantin.
@@susanfalco4252 Everything is an individual-person case. People who tell others how to live are on them as people, not really because they are a certain age. Someone being in that age range doesn't mean they will suddenly start telling others how to live. If they are the type of person to do so then they will.
1) Some of these are examples of Japanese subculture that have nothing to do with sexualization. 2) There are older women that physically look like teens AND there are teens that look old; you cannot tell everyone's age by looking at them. 3) We all have our own interests; are we really supposed to give up our interests just because we aged? We become a different person?? 4) Having a sugar daddy is a completely separate topic that you tried to incorporate; many women that have one do not dress like a baby doll. 5) You're comparing unhinged 10yr olds to women who are free to express themselves. Your topic could have been about people intentionally making content for pedos, but you're just shaming women for being women just because that's not how you think women should dress and look. What SHOULD people in their middle ages even look like? You'll find all sorts of variety.
Preach. Honestly yeah. I love her outfit videos but something about her discussion videos like this often don't feel nuanced enough. This one missed a lil tbh.
My mom embodied this “I’m just a girl” mindset for as long as I can remember. She’s almost 47 now and nothing changed. She’s very skinny, has sharp features and little to no wrinkles, so that helps everyone around her to treat her as a young woman. And to be honest, her youthfulness and little girl energy actually looks and feels authentic, like, I can’t imagine my mom being anyone else. I always thought it was a normal woman behavior, so now that I’m 25 I’m really starting to struggle with being more mature in my demeanor, mannerisms, and looks. It’s not natural for me to be a “grown” woman, just the same as my mom, I feel the most comfortable when I’m childish, especially with my partner. I hope one day I’m gonna find some balance between girlhood and womanhood.
I really thought you would talk about how most women feel the need to stay physically looking younger because it’s what men see as valuable. Or how women will want to dress “younger” or more modestly to avoid the male gaze. But no! It’s always the woman’s fault. You fumbled with this one fr 😐😐😐
I thought she want to discuss those people who contributed on generation wars by proclaimed that they're look younger despite on their 30s and 40s by making fun of the younger generation looking bad, old or ugly and how dumb the generation war is, but nope 😔
So women can’t be wrong at all. And it’s wrong to call out women for toxic behavior. They have full immunity from from being held responsible for their actions
As a guy watching this video, I just want to say that women are worrying and overcomplicating things too much, just live your life honestly, life is rough for both genders, and the reason why men look happier about it is because they are not overcomplicating things.
i just turned 30 and i adore the girlcore aesthetic, i wear babydoll dresses, laces in my hair, hello kitty stuff and more. i don't think certain clothes are for certain ages. i grew up with ocd and anxiety and it was really hard for me, i'm still learning how to be an adult, but i still think of myself as a girl. you grow up, but you're still a girl, and it doesn't mean you can't be responsible of your life or be mature. i truly enjoy feeling wonder like a child after being inside my house for too long (given my health issues).
when you grow up you are the one who gets to decide what you wear, my mom chose what I wore for most of my childhood as I'm autistic but now I get to choose what I want to wear.
You're give me hope! I mean, I'm 26 tomorrow, so we're not that far off xD but people always makes me believe that i need to leave behind everything i love and enjoy when I turn 30, so I kinda anxious x'3
@@Noblesse_Sapphire be yourself, you only have one life. it costs too much time to worry about what other people think. Only you can be yourself, so dress how you like, let everyday be special. i wear so much "not normal" clothes daily, party dress yes cause I love being people fun moment of the day. wear a wig yes I do, wear colourful clothes yesyes yesy, blow bubbles and have fun yes make peoples days brighter. Dress as a literal clown and make someone smile, I have done this and I love how people are so nice.
Tbh we are always like this. When I was 13, 14, I’ve always wanted to be more mature, at least look like it, while we stupid kids kept calling the older girls who were 16, 17 “old ladies”. We worshipped cool girls and hated everything that was colour pink. Now I’m heading to my early 40 and start to fall in love with girly stuffs. Not in a TikTok way though.😂
I'm the complete opposite. When I was a kid, I knew being an adult was gonna suck! My parents had relationship problems, we had financial problems, and my older sister was going through her angsty teenage phase for most of my childhood. Also our parents didn't speak good English so me and my sister had to help them with a lot of grown ppl stuff that we didnt rlly understand. It didn't help that I was also a "special" kid with a disability. I got to experience the suck of being an adult,and even though I'm an adult now I still act like a kid.
@@katies2067 I agree with this 100%. I didn't have a childhood and get "age regression." Luckily, my husband knows everything about my mental health and takes care of me through it, not sexualizes it. I'd never put anything about it out on TikTok. I feel like that'd show off my mental state and could possibly make me a target. These TikTokers are playing dress up with ultra feminine things, saying "I'm just a girl", wanting likes and views. I would never say "I'm just a girl" about anything. I am a full grown woman. I can handle whatever life throws at me. And if these ladies didn't pull the "I'm just a girl" I'd be completely okay with it. It just seems like they're trying to make women seem helpless whenever so long through history we've been trying to get men to see us as equals. 😑
Why do you have to be neurodivergent or have a mental health disorder to justify this? Anyone can dress however they want, and they don’t have to answer to anyone for it.
I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. As a grown-up I've never used a baby voice or acted like a 5 y/o, i think it's kinda weird. But I've always been in love with girl core aesthetics and I'm happy that it's kind of trendy now. I'm happy that now as a grown up and independent person I can finally spend my own money on all these beautiful floral dresses, cute socks, mary jane shoes, glitters and blushes. I was growing up in 90s and early 2000 which was quite a hard time for my family, so practical clothes were more important since we didn't really have that much money. There were no big chain stores like h&m in my city yet and I still remember how poor was the clothing choice at the shops we usually went to. I really loved japanese lolita fashion when I was in my teens but couldn't afford this kind of clothes. I wanted to wear dresses but at the local stores they were usually too ugly, too expensive, too much evening gowns OR the biggest problem! TOO LONG! I'm quite short, about 1.59, and I have no idea what was happening with fashion at that time when I was in my early teens, but I always struggled with clothes being too long to fit me properly. I still remember that time when I could finally find a beautiful and cute casual dress that was of suitable length. I cherish it a lot and still wear it sometimes. The next problem I had when i was in my teens - was my grandma. She always wanted me to be ~elegant~ and to dress "according to my age". "It's too childish" - I think I've been hearing this since I was 13-14. Cute prints, ribbons and bows were too childish in her eyes for a 13 y/o girl. This is how I started to be rebellious in terms of my looks and I kept this flame in my heart till the times when I could finally buy my own clothes. I love my current style and I don't care if someone sees it as too childish or too girly or not suitable for a 30 y/o or whatever. I'm finally free and can fulfill all my desires, I have money, I have tons of shops, I don't need my family's approval. If I want to wear my hair in braids, put on lacy socks and floral baby doll dresses and walk through the city drinking my favorite bubble tea - I'll do it!
@annapplepie9342 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Bravo! I’m sooo happy 😃 that you are wearing your dream style🎀✨💖. And I’m grateful that the Girly styles are trendy in this era. I fell in love with Lolita fashion when I was 13 and around about when I was 14 or 15 I fell in love 🥰 with the Kawaii Fashion style. I always wanted to dress creatively during my teens but there wasn’t really any clothing store or sections catered to teens.... I didn’t really mind dressing mature for formal occasions but for casual wear I didn’t like it (wearing modest adult clothing). I HOPE that one I will dress in my dream style. I soon as I started college something SHOCKED 😨..... I saw people my age range wearing aesthetic/ alt clothing I felt a sense of betrayal because I always wanted to dress like that when was 13 and these styles are ONLY surfacing NOW 😡. I’m 19 going on 20 hoping that I can dress Kawaii/fairycore/quirky/gothic. (I need the money first to be able to afford it).
I think the biggest thing I can appreciate about girlcore is the hyperfeminity. The bright colours and the playfulness of the outfits. I think it allows people to dream and connect with a part of themselves they either never got to or they neglected for some reason as they got older. The best advice I've ever heard is definitely allow yourself to still remember what it is to be a kid. We don't have to take ourselves so seriously all the time, and I think that this really allows people to get in touch with that childlike wonder. It can be very healing. You highlighted some of my biggest issues with this as well, primarily that being the "I'm just a girl" and babytalk. I know people who say "drinky drink" or other things and it just slightly bothers me. We are adults, and while there's nothing wrong with baby talk in certain contexts (with a child or a pet for example) there is also a big jump back I get, personally, with people who talk like that just regularly. As for "I'm just a girl," people using that to act helpless to an extreme or play into "women are just dumb damsels in distress who need saving" that bothers me. It can feed into certain sexist attitudes towards women that I see making a very big rise on the internet again (insert any red piller thought here). LOVELY video, I enjoyed! Thank you so much for touching on the nuances of this topic and hitting the positives and the possible drawbacks. :)
tbh most people using the "Im just a girl" line do not seriously think they're incapable or unable to do things. It's more so just a satire phrase for when we dont want to do something so we say "I cant do that im just a girl" it's purposefully using the sexist stereotype to avoid doing thing we dont want to do lol. It's not serious
I always felt like women can wear whatever they want. The problem I have is the attitude. Throwing away the maturity, the self reliance you've developed and acting like a literal child. Being willing to throw away your autonomy to be taken care of by a man? Couldn't be me.
At first, we used to talk about how men are behaving like children, towards grown women. But what about the women who behave the same way, towards older men? Relationships are beautifull, but people choose to destroy them, by making them as shallow as possible.
@@Sindelle I know. Exactly. We're all different, trying to find something that helps us feel confident, yet here she is: Hating on every single thing, every other day. At this point, even if the whole world approves of something, she'll put out a video giving us vague reasons as to why this isn't okay. Like 🙄🙄
Though you probs don't mean it like that, I don't think that wearing baby doll and flower print and lacey dresses should be restricted to little girls. Bows and lace are considered very feminine and people would wear them all the time but I think it was shut down in society for a while because feminine traits would be seen as bad and masculine traits as better. With the rise of women breaking free from men and the rise of girls girls I think woman start to find their way back to feminine clothes without feeling shamed or bad about it. Now I do believe though that wearing diapers and talking in a baby voice is... questionable,
She NEVER eats lol. Zoe has already criticized Blackpink's way of dressing, why not this time? "Appealing for the male audience", she's always contradicting herself and talking bullshiiuuuuuiiit
Any other mid 30s ladies here? It’s such a strange time.. too old too be acting immature but not old enough to be acting like a sophisticated 50 year old lady
Harajuku fashion does not belong in that video. It has nothing to do with infantilization, it isn't a recent trend, and has nothing in common with mainstream western trends. Overall, we really need to drop the "an adult woman wearing twintails is contributing to patriarchy!!" debate for good. Clothes are clothes, and people can wear whatever they want, regardless of a bystander's personal "ick" factor. I'm sad to say it but I'm really starting to lose interest in your channel, the writing is getting really... :(
I wish there was a way to pin this, but like, on her video if that makes sense This video was quite possibly the worst I've seen from her so far, even past the diet scandal thingy
@@daisydroid I appreciate it haha, because same, it was a massive letdown. This video was overall so culturally insensitive. Just as an example, had she done a modicum of research, she would have known that featuring "kawaii" goods/accessories and cutesy japanese trends in her video was beyond tonedeaf. Childhood is seen differently in Japan, and for this reason, these things CANNOT be infantilizing in the way Westerners imagine it to be. That's why old Japanese people buy Sanrio goods, that's why grown Japanese men go to kitten cafés, etc. The equal relationship between child-parent is called amae (甘え), and is so different from the west. She should stick to mainstream American fashion if she doesn't want to research anything else. Alternative fashion communities suffer from enough prejudice as it is.
Hippy social workers are fun people! An 86 y.o hippy social worker would be fun, with a whole bucket of wisdom and maybe a sprinkle of sassiness and i love it so much! 💙✨
As a teenager, dressing for your age shouldn't be a thing. As long as someone doesn't fetishize dressing like a child and doesn't act immaturely, a middle-aged woman should be allowed to to where what she wants.
The problem is that “fetishize” is subjective, and since it’s subjective, it’s very easy to use the concept to judge any woman for displaying any childlike qualities. I don’t care if a woman acts or looks childlike, even if she does it in a sexual way. I’m more concerned about actual literal children.
I think what keeps someone young is their passion for life and the joy of living in the present. That is the way to keep your youth as you age. Nothing can stop us from growing old, but maintaining a beautiful spirit is alluring to all people.
The clothes aren’t the problem, it how people portray themselves in said clothing that is. Nobody NEEDS to “Dress their age” wtf does that even mean? Does that mean that once I hit 30 I need to dress like a mom in the 80s? No, if I want to wear something cute like Hello Kitty then let me do it. God forbid women have self expression in a time period that kind of accepts it, you come off as a hater frfr in this video. Talk about the infantilism issue and educate yourself and others without shitting on peoples fashion choices.
@@princessmanitari4993 This is a great piece of advice. I've met people irl who follow instructions absent understanding and, though it can be jolting, I realize now that they're getting along with what they're given just like I try to😊
@@princessmanitari4993 And? I didnt say i will curse at you or do anything if i witness but such behavior, my reaction and my feelings are MY right to express too. If i want to remove myself from that i am allowed to, you dont need my approval to act however you do
@@princessmanitari4993 Are you talking about people with severe/non-verbal autism, that kind of thing? That would be understandable, but neurodivergent people who are more able shouldn't be acting like toddlers in public
It's exhausting. Labels everywhere. I can't be a woman without being called old for my age irl because I dress normal clothes from whatever store I can afford these days. This video triggers me. I am not watching everything.
Also i feel like this video is shaming people who genuinely enjoy dressing in hello kitty clothes. You're kind of ignoring the entire subject of people actually wanting to, in the vein of pushing it to your conclusion. I am sitting here in my snorlax overalls. I enjoy wearing those clothes. This entire video feels very negative to that entire concept, of me. Just crochetting in my overalls. Not everything is infantilization, this is just me being adhd and genuinely enjoying having happy things around me. I have an automatic baby voice since a child, because i'm tired. My voice just becomes smaller. Why was this entire part fully ignored??? Please look into the concept of neurodivergent women and manic pixie girls!!! We've been shouting about this for years 😭 this video is so ignorant of our battles please look it up!! Rowan (i believe they have blue hair) also did amazing video's on this concept!! Edit: yeah this video is ignorant of entire subjects within neurodivergency, infantilization that happens 24/7 against neurodivergent folk (manic pixie girls, again.) And this video is shaming people. It's hate.
@@daisydroid no worries!! I felt so much passion for this i just had to!! I agree, i really hope she catches some of the 'backlash' on this vid (feels too heavy to actually call it that) researches more, and then maybe collab with another youtuber commentary person who is neurodivergent and knows about this. Education is important!
Exactly she’s hating on women for no reason. I get the cringy vibes from the ones acting like babies/toddlers, but hating on women wearing cute dresses or whatever is pretty damn weird. She’s honestly an ignorant
I paint with pastel colors and sparkles and I don’t sexualize it at all?? Like what, I need to be bitter and not have fun lol! God the vibe in this video is so weirdddddddd,
I know super mature teenagers who already want to settle down and I know people much older who are very young at heart, and are thrill seekers. Acting someones age is different for everyone. You only live once, dress like a princess if your heart desires such things! However, I believe it crosses a line when people try to sexualize childhood traits.
I get the overall point, but I don't fully understand why dressing cute is trying to infantalize yourself. Sometimes it's not that deep, and you just want to wear a shirt with a kitten and bows on it because it makes you happy. I'm an adult, and i've never stopped liking cute girly things, and why should there be an expiration on them? I think people are taking what they love about their youth and adjusting it to fit their current life. It's kind of beautiful.
I feel called out. I'm turning 30 this year and I love it when people think I'm around 19 (I've a round face, which helps), so I dress as a teenager most of the time: cargo pants, crop tops, pleated skirts... And I look good, I like it, but sometimes I feel it's kinda ridiculous. A couple of years ago I dressed more like an adult, and I still looked good and got compliments for my style. I think turning 30 is messing with my head.
As long as you're not trying to act like a little kid around other adults to get attention, it should be fine tbh... when older people try to act like a little girl/boy, that's when it gets weird.
Oh man so I'm 29 but I'm kind of scared to wear bows and like mary janes for fear of being seen as someone tryna be a teenager. I swear I'm not trying to be weird. It's just that now a lot of clothes that I would have liked as a teenager are now available in my size. I really want to enjoy these new aesthetics but then I get hella self conscious and just feel stupid.
Girl wear them and stop taking people who judge women for wearing bows seriously. Men are wearing the same clothes from their teenage days till they grow way old. No one says a thing. So why should women stop being feminine all of the sudden when we reach our 30s or older? Like what are we supposed to wear? A tie and a suit?? No.
i honestly adore lolita fashion (the fashion you showed a few times in the video, it comes from japan and has been a thing for a loooong time by now. not everything you showed is lolita, but those that were do not belong to this “new trend” necessarily). i think it’s such a creative way of dressing and expressing yourself through your clothing. that being said i cannot ignore the weird origin and connotations the fashion has. i don’t think that dressing that way has to be inherently weird. some people just enjoy bows and soft pink without thinking of little kids. but it is true that it can be very weird.
I get the concept that you’re getting at at the same time. I feel like you missed a lot of good points that were brought up in the comment section. 41 is 14 no it’s not but I do think that anyone can have the right to dress up as a certain aesthetic for themselves only or how they like to present themselves because that’s what they feel good in. I would like to add that I know there’s certain people that say that the baby doll look is to get the male attention to be sexualized, but I don’t think that’s the case. Women have the right to dress however they want, but others may still have opinions that we just have to brush off and not care about them.
Even tho, put them in paragraph, but still, it's a long reply, I just need to get them out of my system, so feel free to ignore ^^ So I think, some people thought it kinda makes her sounds like she doesn't really understand some things she said or makes her sounds hypocritical? Idk tho, some of the examples looks okay to me, even some of them are just skits, even the Haley one, she sometimes do makes skits too, right? There's a big possibility the the ones that acting like literal babies are fetish videos (she could also talked about how those videos could contribute to children s*xual violence or pron addicts but she didn't 😔) but i also know some women with mental age regression because of trauma act like that too, so it's also a bit of sensitive topic there (I'm sadly not the sharpest tool in the shed, so sometimes I can't tell :"D) The one that threw people off i think is the lolita ones, that basically just a japanese subculture, but why did she put them here too, is it because they looks childish? I can't find other reason, unfortunately, so maybe you can tell your 2 cents :D The internet are full of people with different background, mindset and level of understanding, i think it's wiser to make it clear if things are satire it's a hassle, i know but sometimes satire is so subtle that even the sharpest person can't see it, when that happen, only the creators knows if it's actually a satire or an insult pretending to be one 😅
What I don’t get about this younger gen is that they try to cancel and dive deep on every single detail. It’s exhausting I almost got roped into it.. then I saw a pattern. As long as a kid stays in their lane and an Adult stays in theirs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to dress youthful when you’re grown as hell. There is nothing wrong with acting like a teenager when you’re well past 40. Don’t mix harmful fun with sexuality. Little girls dressing overly sexual should be an entire separate conversation and needs to be addressed. Don’t blame normal adults for what corporate society has pushed on us all.
I’m 57 and I wear what I like, and what looks good on me. I look good in low slung, flares, so that’s what I wear. Stay mad about it if you think I’m too old to dress the way that I do, but I have washboard abs and I’m built like 25-year-old Pamela Anderson. Cry about it.
You are right but people need to understand they aren’t younger/older sometimes, it’s good to do whatever you want but not all the time think ur younger, you need to remember ur age sometimes and not act like a baby (as I said, sometimes)
I love girly styles in my mid 30s. But it’s not about attracting men, my husband isn’t into girly styles, he would have liked me best wearing casual. It’s simply my little protest against stereotypes, it’s letting myself wear what I always secretly liked and it’s celebrating inner child. Life is hard and boring so why not to make accent on attractive and happy things?! (doesn’t mean totally escaping obligations). Yet, have to admit, the feeling of being protected allows women to feel relaxed and safe enough to wear styles like this.
I'm late 20s, 28, dress punk/e-girl because that's the music I like and some TV shows/ anime.. I've been told it's just a phase.. I don't want to stop enjoying things really. I also dress on the revealing side. I think goth-like style is accepted as more mature to lolita but still.. I have been told I'm too old to enjoy those things and express myself and it hurts. Maybe after 40 I will, but not anytime soon.
I'm glad I came to the comments to see I'm not the only woman that feels a certain way about this video. Normally I binge this channel and appreciate Zoe's viewpoints but this video made me feel like because the fashion sense and "aesthetic" I've always liked is trending in 2024 then it's now a problem with the infantilization of women and it's somehow shameful. I always liked lolita and jfashion but could not afford it growing up, so now that I have financial stability I go all out. Just a few years ago I was constantly stared at and shamed in public for my interests and now that key elements of these types of fashions are trending I get compliments when I go outside, but still an issue is found. Although not specifically stated, I believe and agree that many of the girls on social media take it to an extreme and this is probably where the real problems begin, but there isn't anything inherently unsavory about liking "little girl and schoolgirl dresses" as it's put. Many of us older closeted teenage nerds got our fashion inspiration from anime and Asian street fashion growing up, but that wasn't cool 15 years ago. This video is all over the place, very poorly researched and I'm disappointed.
I am 14 and when I saw this and I immediately tapped on the vid. And I just have to say us women should be able to grow up normally and not have stress change who we are.
Meanwhile I'm gonna act my age by wearing whatever TF I feel like wearing and ignoring people who 💩 on me for it, because I'm too old to waste the limited time I have left on haters.
I think there are two kinds of "babygirls". The one's that are infantilized and sexualized for the sake of men and the one's just tired of so much responsibility and who are embracing their childlike freedom. I don't think they are the same.
Woman don't feel older in their minds, my mum us 81 and does not feel it. We can dress anyway that makes us happy, what is dressing your age anyway? Sounds confining
Pet peeve of mine: I think fashions/styles don’t have an age limit and if your look depends on you being young, then you’re not relying on your skill as a stylist so much as you’re just selling youth. That being said, the idolization of youth in our culture is problematic. We should be able to be mature women and still be sexy, still feel ourselves and not feel like we have “expired”. I’m wise and I’m powerful. I feel more confident in myself with every year that passes. I don’t need to lie to myself about looking 20. I’m going to be 35 and I fucking love it. Anyway, that’s my tirade about being a woman and aging lmao.
Acting like a child and wanting to be a child when you aren't is infantilizing or if someone treats you like a child but you aren't is infantilizing. hair bows lace and the color pink isn't only for little girls. I think you are confused or putting together things that don't need to be together. Acting like a child and being s3xy is p3do not infantilizing. Looks younger than you are or taking care of yourself is not infantilizing, obsession over looks and aging is still not infantilizing but it is a fear of aging. Woman do want to be looked after in relationships that's why we pick men that have alot of money or has a way to keep you safe it's not infantilizing.
yeah its almost like clothes does not have an age, but people who don't know about alt fashion seems like they like to infantalise anything that's different from what they deem as normal so. also slightly offended here in (alt gothic lolita)
"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her daughter, she is perfectly satisfied." The Picture of Dorian Grey (1891). I really enjoy your videos.
I really love your quote, "girlhood is a spirit...to be brave and bold enough to dream" I know for me, and I'm sure many others who had to skip a large portion of their childhoods taking care of others or parenting themselves, or a myriad of other things children shouldn't be responsible for, reclaiming that 'girlhood' is something dreamt of. And I think that quote puts it nicely in a very adult-friendly way that doesn't infantilize that desire, but makes it attainable, no matter how far into adulthood you are.
👉🏻Discover the Enigma Double Sonic™ by LELO lelo.to/LELOxZoe Shoutout to Lelo for sponsoring & for normalizing pleasure/ wellness for women.💜
Loved Every Second of your video
thanks for feeding me!
Hi zoe i didn't really get this video? Infantilization and just dressing how you like to is a different thing do women expire at 40 and can't wear what they like after that age?? Didn't expect this from you..
Hola zoe, quería preguntarte si podrías hacer un video sobre donde compras tu ropa de una manera sustentable, ya que no quiero comprar marcas que no sean justas laboralmente y contaminen, me a sido difícil encontrar un sitio donde comprar. Gracias amo tus videos y me haces muy feliz❤❤
@@Th3VisitorShe doesn't read the comments.
I think the problem is that we make everything sexual. An older woman that acts young is fine and a younger woman that acts older is fine. They shouldn't be inherently sexual and that's what society makes it
Exactly. You got the point.
This!
Yeah but 10 year old look 19 they can act older but is it really that great to look older
its not inherently sexual, a lot of subcultures like the kawaii fashion style is not inherently sexual, but of course some people will find it attractive, there’s nothing wrong with that (of course im talking about adults here)
@@catty9798there is definitely something wrong with adults being sexually attracted to people who dress up as children idc if its kink shaming its gross
1st we have a "ou're 12, not 21" and then we have a "You're 41, not 14".
the contrast of what's desirable is kind of ironic
i tought the same! BTW HI ZOEE
Where are two missing years? 🤔
@@Karolinaa315 same!
@@zoeunlimited I have to agree. People are truly indecisive when it comes to what they want to do.. Kids want to expirience adulthood, while Adults want to be kids again..
Personally I reject the idea of "dressing/keeping to your age." A 43 year old should be able to wear babydoll dresses and mary janes just like any 19 year old can. A 50 year old should be able to enjoy bows and Sabrina Carpenter as much as she wants to. A women's closet shouldn't be restricted to blazers and pencil skirts just because she happened to live past 30. It feels like the term "self infantilization" gets thrown around a lot to shame older women for enjoying "younger" things when you rarely see men get criticized for the same thing like enjoying video games and legos past their teens (not that they should be criticized either but the double standard is obvious.)
I wouldn't say there is a double standard and there is no reason to bring men into this because terms like "neckbeard/incel/basement dweller" are thrown at men all the time for enjoying things like video games, cartoons, not being into dating, etc. But otherwise, I agree. The only problem with dressing younger than you are, especially if you're dressing as a toddler, is if you bring sexualization into it. Adults should not be dressing as children and babies if there is sexual gratification behind it.
i mean, manchild is a thing and men do get criticized for not growing up, the difference with men is that it's about their hobbies and permanently sticking to the clothes they wore in their 20s, whereas some women act like kids and even talk in a childish high voice. the issue isn't women not wearing blazers or pencil skirts, nor is it having a youthful style, but acting and dressing like helpless children and doing so much to look like a "sexy baby" as taylor swift said. just my thoughts, i just find it odd, especially the older you get
I agree but do you know if anyone of the examples do that? I feel the videos missed the point several times mixing dump things influencers do to the topical of "infantilization"
I feel like it's also important to mention the subject of dopamine dressing! It's mainly with people who are adhd or in general neurodivergent, but people who have those diagnosis are finally becoming louder in what they want; especially in their clothing. I myself am FINALLY wearing the clothing i want to wear! (Example; run&fly overalls.) But because we finally can dress how we want, which can be a bit extravagant, people also start seeing us as manic pixie girls which is a conversation in itself, anyhow, dopamine dressing! Very much a thing! And not a bad thing!
@@princessmanitari4993 same, I don’t want to be called infantilized or be associated with these people for liking the Lolita fashion. I’ve just always loved pastels bows frills and poofy skirts. I never got that as a kid, so now I want it as an adult.
The way someone dresses shouldn't be assumed that they want to or should be infantilized.
You do have a point!
But some things have to go into play to consider this statement. The way people dress, aesthetic-wise, is usually a reflection of themselves, their beliefs, and ideals. The case of whether they are or want to be infantilized is categoric. This goes from mild to extreme. For an extreme example: Belle Delphine. She made a literal living off doing suggestive things, while dressing like a kid AND acting like one. Was this what she wanted? Yeah, for money. One on the less harmful end is the Japanese aesthetic Jojifuku (and Yume kawaii if you wanna look that up) both incorporating elements of childish girlhood but 9/10 times are grown women. They do not want to be infantilized and don't pander to the p3d0filic audience (the majority at least). I understand what you're saying but its a tad deeper than your blanket statement so I just wanted to add to it, perhaps clear it up!
@@chats-w-josiey Absolutely. I wear J-fashion. I wear it because I love that I the individuality of the fashion and that I can be big, bold, and me. I'm just not a fan of the often very boring, cookie-cutter fashions of today. I stand by the fact that no fashion should be age restricted. It's just clothes. These clothes make me happy. I think it's important to remember, too, that the fashion I wear, lolita, was created to explicitly regret the male gaze because of it's over-the-topness and flamboyance. It was created as a women's movement, and, for that, I'm proud to be part of this community.
I have been broke for my entire 20s. No one is gonna shame me for finally dressing the way I want to, no I will not be dressing in bland clothes just because it’s “age appropriate”. I’m gonna be the kooky old lady that wears colourful cute clothes and that’s that.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🤩🤩
As you should.
Jesus loves you
I am the lady you describe, I’m 68 and don’t care if you don’t like it.
@@CountessRatsazz yess goals! 😍
I also feel like we have to change the notion that aging is the problem, when its actually stress and unhealthiness that be doing us dirty
@@darien9891 and capitalism
Yes. Even remove the stress of, worrying about aging
Yeah lots of it is caused by stress and unhealthy diets but a little bit of it can be caused by chemicals that some are putting on their face
Totally. My wife is 32, and constantly worrying about wrinkles. And I wish she didn’t have that engrained in her mind. I tell her she doesn’t even have them and is beautiful, but every time she opens up Instagram she sees this “perfect” world.
We all have enough to worry about without putting down women more.
A lot of the examples you used of "childlike" clothing were actually examples of Japanese subculture styles. Those aren't for the male gaze; they're about maximalist and colourful dressing with nods to rococo and Edwardian period styles.
I LOVE KAWAII FASHION 🎀💖
I also like Lolita fashion too very interesting alt style 😃
Fr! I think her point was just to use some examples of what infantilization *could* look like rather than calling the style that subtly
what about the males who dress kawaii fashion? when they look at themselves in the mirror they are using the male gaze. your comment is so offensive and full of microaggressiveness
Plus they were specifically started as a rebuttal to society's "act and dress like a grown woman", which makes their use in this context even funnier.
@@Johnny_Savagewhat the hell are you talking about. Do you even know what the male gaze is?
“Dress like a grown up” is subjective. More like dress the way you feel most comfortable & powerfulz
Slayyyy
My whole life my mom insisted I be more “grown up” and literally threw a little fit if I asked for a Barbie for Christmas at 14. Yet I wasn’t allowed to talk to boys or wear nail polish outside of the house.
I do the things I need to do, I don’t over spend, I don’t speak like a baby but yeah. I’m wearing the Barbie jacket. I’m just going to do what I want.
yeah i understand, like were literally kids and we should enjoy stuff for our age
Like wdym you didn't allow me to act like a lil kid when i was young but you get to do it at your grown age?? (for my situation btw, i honsetly inspire to be like you in the future)
same I was forced to stop playing with my dolls at 10 yrs old a decade later now I’m doing everything I want, despite of my parent’s judgement
@@sparklynaithat’s actually insane my parents literally let me play with dolls until I chose to stop 10 is a perfectly fine age
"you better never dare to have a boyfriend.... But when you'll find someone and have kids? " 🙄
Girl, 41 is young af, let women be joyful and dress 'childish' if they want, even if they (hopefully) reach 80!
Riverdale like It
a 41 woman is middle age, this is an objective biological fact
41 is ...not "young af"....You're closer to retirement age than to your teenage years by that point
You can wear whatever you want, but if you are acting like an infant as a grown ass women, please give up your voting rights.
@@blueiepureesteluca it's not young af, but she means there's still an abundance of life ahead of you to immerse yourself in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. When society labels someone as "too old" for certain activities, it's like a life sentence, unfairly confining them to passive pastimes like watching TV or gardening, and excluding them from dynamic, enriching experiences typically marketed to younger people. This perspective diminishes the richness of life at any age, neglecting the truth that vitality, curiosity, and the desire to try new things don't expire with age. Keep in mind life expectancy has extended a lot, many live by 80 now.
For some women, I think the 'babygirl syndrome' can be a result of trauma, such as neglect, sexual assault, PTSD, etc. Some women may have been oversexualized and robbed of their girlhood, which causes them to grow up feeling an inherent need to please men and feeling they missed out on being a child or cannot remember due to repression. Some women may want to act like a child as a coping mechanism or as a form of regression during stressful times. With the hyperfixation on youth and the sexualization of girls, combined with individual and systemic factors, it is not a surprise to me that we have adult women trying to hold onto and emulate that youthful appearance. As unfortunate as it is, we live in a society in which young girls and women are simultaneously expected to remain subservient and soft while also being maternal and sexy.
Honestly, this is the best comment on the video. You explained it perfectly on how there is a difficult line between needing to remain youthful but pressured to be sexually from an early age that bleeds into adulthood. This issue is not as black and white as it seems, it’s more complex than people may think. There is a lot of factors, such as the ones you mentioned, that can explain the reason some woman act this particular way.
@@flowerpott26 and then let me add on the layer of neurodivergency, men wanting manic pixie dream girls. Yet, the manic pixie dream girls actually exist and they're called neurodivergent women
I think you should make a video on the topic 🙏🏽🙌🏽 finally some real nuance
totally see your point but that's a whole another topic. I think the video is more about how women abuse the "baby girl" role to have a bigger appeal
@@xoxoathy then it should've focussed more clearly onto that as this felt more like shaming
Kids wanna be older, adults wanna be younger but no one wants to look their age. Smh.
Pretty much 😢@@hoordeyah
@@hoordeyahwhat a generalization...not every young person will be ageist, ntm some of the old ppl could be and are ageist themselves (esp from while they were younger) thus self hating thus feeling the need to always be (talk,act;present) younger. Evb is getting criticized-attacked really-by evb nowadays for anything, its just gotten to an unbearably heightened point (esp w/ sm). Nobody rlly knows anybody individually so just try to be your best self always in your own lane. Old ,young, and not etc whatever.
@@hoordeyah true i don't think telling old people to look their age is a good thing like what do they even mean 'when they say 'look your age!!' To 40 or 50 year olds? They shoukd stop having fun cuz life is over?? That's such a bad take specially when women are considered to 'expire at 35' 🙄
I mean I don't like the s*x*al aspect to this but other then that can you really blame us? Being an adult sucks, especially for the adult part of gen z and millennials since a lot of us can't even afford groceries.
I don’t want to look like my age. I want to stay young as possible. Imagine, if someone says you’re 30 while you’re 23……..That’s messed up.
Ppl when I act older than my age: 🤬
Ppl when I act younger then my age: 🤬
Ppl when I act my age: 🤬
There’s no satisfying anyone 😂😂😂
@@Tekirai fr 😂
I look like I’m 2 years older then me-😭so people get mad when I act like 16,and not 18-😭
@@ElenaTijerina-gp1tn forreal. i learned a long time ago that i’m gonna be shamed and ridiculed no matter what i do, so i’m just gonna do what i want
It's the 18 yr olds looking 30 that have it worst.
I actually love the older women who are still youthful. Just because someone is old it doesnt mean they need to lose their personality and start being boring and ugly.
Edit: by boring and ugly I mean their whole life centered around being a wife and mum, and they lose their passions and forget that they have a life that should be lived. And for ugly I mean they start dressing frumpy because they are "too old" and they stop putting effort into their appearance despite enjoying it because they don't want to be judged
Not all the women you think are ugly or boring are though. That’s such a nasty generalization. Nothing wrong with youthful women, but when it becomes an obsession where you try to look like a kid it’s gross.
This is just one extreme to another, baby. Conflating youth with being interesting and beautiful is a huge problem that you’re perpetuating. If that isn’t your intention then you should really fix your diction, because there’s the implication that older women who embrace maturity are hags in your comment. If you mean what you said then that’s just worse.
@@iThiink exactly. Well said. 🥰
@@Rod3839exactly
@@Rod3839 I'm sorry I mean what I said. My comment has nothing to do with maturity, because maturity comes with age, which is inevitable. I'm talking about older women who express themselves however they see fit, without worrying about if "they're too old to be fashionable" or if they're "too old to try new hobbies or participate in the ones they already have and enjoy". Take Beyonce for example, she's in her 40's or 50's yet you don't look at her and think old woman, same for Christina Agulera and Kim Kardashian. They're older women showing that just because you're older you're not "expired" and I love that for them. There's a whole mindset that people mostly men think that when a woman is over 30 they need to dress a certain way and their role in life is to be a mum and a wife, nothing more. And that's toxic.
Women should wear whatever they want why associating a close to an age , dressing is fun
U can be whoever u are, so I choose to be teen again and go to highschool
@@natas3301 theres a HUGE difference between simply dressing a certain way vs committing fraud and ending up on a seggs offender registry to be around teens my dude...
@@warviolet7262 so why are they dressing like this?
@@natas3301because they want it dress like how they want? its so simple
They dress like that bc they secretly want children, obviously. Glad to see the republican playbook of accusing people displaying behavior you don’t like of beings peds is alive and well.
Whether or not you're in your 20s 30s or 40s you can still be a child at heart had have endless imaginations. Having the ability to imagine and create is what make us humans. However, as human being you need to be responsible for yourself.
I agree but would add it doesn’t stop at 40 either 😊
when are we gonna stop shaming women and telling them to “act their age?” let people live.
Are you saying a 10 year old child obsessed with cosmetics and a 40 year old person acting baby alike (avoiding accountability) is healthy to you? Why is pointing this out "shaming" and normalizing it okay?
To be honest, I don't hate girls or women that much anymore. I just believe that we should be cautious, since we live in a world that goes harsh against them and is cruel.
We can't ignore the fact that we live in a society, which has patriarchal or even worse misogynistic ideologies as well, for females in general.
@@annawolnik3312 i didn’t say that. YOU put words in my mouth. there’s nothing wrong with feeling younger sometimes or continuing to enjoy things you liked when you were younger. the child you used to be doesn’t magically disappear just because your body changed. shaming people for holding onto those parts of themselves is really unnecessary and harmful IMO. also, i liked makeup as a child. i used to play with eye shadows and lip glosses because it was fun and a part of dress up. do i think young children need adult cosmetics? no. but i also don’t think it’s unhealthy for them to take interest in experimenting with the art of makeup.
@@coolchameleon21 did YOU watched the video and got the point?
Ignore the haters. No one is ever gonna “let you live” you have to declare that you will 🤷🏾♀️
Let women dress how they want. Sick and tired of people trying to put women down, to be honest.
is the attitude. did u watched the video?
We ARE free to do what we want. Freedom from criticism and danger just isn’t part of that deal 🤷🏾♀️ get tough if you want to be a free bird.
God, being a woman is exhausting 😖
I agree so much with this....😮💨😓
I wish ageists stop hating on women living their lives and taking care of their bodies or enjoying cute concepts. You only get to criticize when they act like babies and not when they are literally just living their lives. Some of you people act like they should dig up their graves because they’re in their 30s/40s and god forbid if a woman is in her 50s or older. What a toxic behavior
this shes such a hater
exactly. men never get shamed for collecting action figures, playing video games, liking “childish” media, playing with legos, or wearing corny graphic t shirts. in fact, they’re usually praised for it
@coolchameleon21 lol since when? "Man child" is not a term of endearment.
@@toebiter69yes, she’s definitely hating like she’ll never get old 🙄 . Women can still wear cute and feminine clothes no matter how older in age they get. Just like how men can wear their suits and bow ties from a young age till they grow older and older. Wearing a bow or a pink dress doesn’t make women “childish” it’s only feminine. This whole video is giving misogynist and ageist vibes.
@@mika628 they don't get bullied the same way women get bullied for similair behaviour
Nah, the best thing I got after hitting 30 is allowing myself to do whatever I want. As long as you don’t pay for one's look and lifestyle, you shouldn't criticize their choices and make superficial assumptions about if they are infantile or not, otherwise it's just peak stupidity.
My 11 year old is suddenly really into Hello Kitty and Friends--I'm encouraging it as much as I can. I just don't want her to try to grow up to fast. Enjoy childish things!
You sound like a great mom!
@@Eviepossible thank you. I really really try!
I wish good things for you and your family in the future~ 💙💙✨
That is really nice. What a precious time in your life as a mum. You sound like you’re a good one.
Hello kitty was made for adult women
yeah I am still gonna have a full time job, chores and all of that but I am still gonna put lace, bows and frills whenever I want no matter how old I get to be. Like I dress all cute for myself not for other ppl and definitely not for man. You sure are not gonna catch me doing baby talk or wearing diapers that's a pass but also, ppl can do that if they want. Its their time, money and bodies. If you are not paying for that, then keep on scrolling.
amen
And i bet you rocks those outfits!! 💙 I wish I could do that tho~ I always wanted to wear capes or cloaks so much and still trying to integrate it to my daily outfits, but i live in a pretty minimalist neighborhood x3
their eyes could be so sharp sometimes 😅 that's why i try to go to anime conventions, atleast it's a safe space for now, but it's still fun tho~ xD
PREACCHH
Diapers? Seriously? Seek help.
Kawaii/Lolita fashion isnt about infantilization. Its about wearing something that makes you feel beautiful. Also its a way to dress up and beautifully that doesnt sexualize you. The sad fact is that if you're a woman and you want to be pretty, that often means wearing short skirts, bodycon, boob windows, etc. But kawaii/lollita fashion avoids that and appeals more to the female gaze than the male gaze. Its not about trying to prtend your younger, act younger, or infantilize yourself.
True 🎀💖✨
@Vivi_Pallas the Lolita reference is a sexual reference. Are you familiar with the original context? (This matter has been addressed so no further corrections are warranted. Thank you.)
@@angelelida4680 I am very aware. So much of being in the Lolita community is saying that it has nothing to do with the book. A lot of people use the term EGL fashion to get rid of this. A lot of Lolita online spaces get deleted because they ban the word. It has literally nothing to do with the book and you can't exist 5 minutes without having to explain this to someone for the 100th time.
@@angelelida4680 It's not. You know nothing about the fashion if you think it has anything to do with the book, it takes a two seconds Google search to find out. It's even spelled out on the literal Wikipedia page for the style. Outsiders need to stop speaking over people from the community.
Yes! I’m a lifestyle lolita/ otome girly fashion enjoyer and this video felt soooooo off to me. I have a job and am currently being educated, I’m not trying to escape from anything or act like a little girl, I just want to wear pretty clothes and surround myself with beautiful things! I want to keep joy and whimsy in my life, even if I can only do it through fashion. I hate when other women act like this is suddenly threatening to women as a whole, as if we will be taken less seriously for just wanting to be cute. What happened to girls supporting girls fr😕
Ok but I’m a 41 yr woman and. Decided recently that I’m going to wear space buns because it’s a hairstyle I loved back in the 90s and my mom hated it because she said it made me look like miki mouse, so I never wore it like that, I’m aware it looks funny now that im 40 but I don’t care anymore I’m in my 40s and not getting any younger so just let me have my space buns for crying out loud. I’m an adult now I can do whatever I want
I’m 40, and if my hair weren’t always the hardest thing to put up in the world, I’d wear them too.
A lot of these videos are satire and rage bait because they know you’ll click on it. Let’s just not judge and let people wear what they want. This is part of the problem.
She's being straight up ageist in this one. I'm gonna stop watching now to stop the retention rate
@@anaisanais4626yep
@@anaisanais4626Fr. I did not expect this of her. Smh.
"When I became a man I put away childish things, like the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis
My own blip of existence on this hunk of rock hurtling through space is far more interesting to me than what other grown women choose to wear.
Yeah this analysis missed the mark so hard it feels ooc and tbh falls heavily into the lie that a woman can be either 'mature' (correct) or 'infantilized' (incorrect). It shows a complete misunderstanding tbh
I really hope she corrects this, I agree
I thought it was a fairly decent video discussion, but as I noticed several videos and images taken out of context and passed off as something different, the video sorta just felt half done. It's an interesting trend to see the youth dressing up as elders, and the elders dressing youthfully, but not many of the visuals were supporting her stance very well.
I felt the same way. It felt like a lot of topics were taken into consideration without making actual arguments about their relation to the main topic.
There’s this weird thing when you are like mid twenties when people think you should suddenly stop liking the things you like and start dying or something.
Ikrrr I'm 24 that graduated recently and suddenly ppl are treating me differently..before 1 or 2 years they be like oh you're young don't do this don't do that and now out of the sudden they're saying you're old when are you going to have a baby....God let me breath it's not even a year since I graduated...and I thought I was in school for 18years to work so the moment I finished that I have to be a mom? If that is the case, I could have been a mom at 18 without going to university....idk it's very confusing age some times you're young and sometimes you're old
@@Nusss_M you hit another one of these periods when your early thirties. It never ends 😭.
Tbh I also think that we have to remember that some ppl on the Internet are literally working, that their images are crafted to/for an audience; I mean Paris Hiltons persona is at this point a brand.
Many millennial women get flak for not hitting the traditional milestones older generations expect. Buying a home, having a stable long-term job, and getting married early used to be the norm, but nowadays, these things are often out of reach due to economic and social changes. Instead of understanding these challenges, society often shames millennials for not sticking to outdated timelines, calling them irresponsible or immature. We need to rethink what being an adult means today. Plus, in our current capitalist world, it's not just vanity when people want to look younger-it's often about staying employable. 🤷🏻♀
🙏🏻 thank you!! 🙏🏻
Wait until yr 35-40 until ya start telling women how to live. Yeah, the examples you’re showing are super cringe, but it’s deeply complex and personal.
Everyone thinks they’re going to “age gracefully” until they actually experience the phenomenon of turning invisible. It’s awful. So yeah, I started working harder to look younger…because I couldn’t stand being invisible. You can’t blame women for just trying to continue being treated like a human being.
@@susanfalco4252 you're not invisible. If you wanna stay younger I'd seriously recommend magnesium, vitamin k2, moderate sunlight (not in the face obviously, we don't want wrinkles), collagen, fish oil, vitamin a (cod liver oil) Astaxantin.
@@susanfalco4252 Everything is an individual-person case. People who tell others how to live are on them as people, not really because they are a certain age. Someone being in that age range doesn't mean they will suddenly start telling others how to live. If they are the type of person to do so then they will.
@@susanfalco4252what do you mean by invisible? Do you care that much about male attention at that big age?
1) Some of these are examples of Japanese subculture that have nothing to do with sexualization.
2) There are older women that physically look like teens AND there are teens that look old; you cannot tell everyone's age by looking at them.
3) We all have our own interests; are we really supposed to give up our interests just because we aged? We become a different person??
4) Having a sugar daddy is a completely separate topic that you tried to incorporate; many women that have one do not dress like a baby doll.
5) You're comparing unhinged 10yr olds to women who are free to express themselves.
Your topic could have been about people intentionally making content for pedos, but you're just shaming women for being women just because that's not how you think women should dress and look. What SHOULD people in their middle ages even look like? You'll find all sorts of variety.
I hope she reads this because this video was awful.
Preach. Honestly yeah. I love her outfit videos but something about her discussion videos like this often don't feel nuanced enough. This one missed a lil tbh.
have A LOT of sexualiztion
the attitude. did you get the point of the video or do you need chatgpt to do a run down of it?
My mom embodied this “I’m just a girl” mindset for as long as I can remember. She’s almost 47 now and nothing changed. She’s very skinny, has sharp features and little to no wrinkles, so that helps everyone around her to treat her as a young woman. And to be honest, her youthfulness and little girl energy actually looks and feels authentic, like, I can’t imagine my mom being anyone else. I always thought it was a normal woman behavior, so now that I’m 25 I’m really starting to struggle with being more mature in my demeanor, mannerisms, and looks. It’s not natural for me to be a “grown” woman, just the same as my mom, I feel the most comfortable when I’m childish, especially with my partner. I hope one day I’m gonna find some balance between girlhood and womanhood.
Maybe the problem is that you think of these things as the terms “girlhood” and “womanhood”.
@@AB-dz7lo and what’s wrong with these terms, exactly? Genuinely trying to understand. Maybe there’s something I don’t know about them
I really thought you would talk about how most women feel the need to stay physically looking younger because it’s what men see as valuable. Or how women will want to dress “younger” or more modestly to avoid the male gaze. But no! It’s always the woman’s fault. You fumbled with this one fr 😐😐😐
Exactly.
I thought she want to discuss those people who contributed on generation wars by proclaimed that they're look younger despite on their 30s and 40s by making fun of the younger generation looking bad, old or ugly and how dumb the generation war is, but nope 😔
So women can’t be wrong at all. And it’s wrong to call out women for toxic behavior. They have full immunity from from being held responsible for their actions
As a guy watching this video, I just want to say that women are worrying and overcomplicating things too much, just live your life honestly, life is rough for both genders, and the reason why men look happier about it is because they are not overcomplicating things.
i just turned 30 and i adore the girlcore aesthetic, i wear babydoll dresses, laces in my hair, hello kitty stuff and more. i don't think certain clothes are for certain ages. i grew up with ocd and anxiety and it was really hard for me, i'm still learning how to be an adult, but i still think of myself as a girl. you grow up, but you're still a girl, and it doesn't mean you can't be responsible of your life or be mature. i truly enjoy feeling wonder like a child after being inside my house for too long (given my health issues).
when you grow up you are the one who gets to decide what you wear, my mom chose what I wore for most of my childhood as I'm autistic but now I get to choose what I want to wear.
@@andyto1781 and also, you're allowed to wear whatever you wanna wear. You're not hurting anyone by wearing fun clothes. ❤️
You're give me hope! I mean, I'm 26 tomorrow, so we're not that far off xD but people always makes me believe that i need to leave behind everything i love and enjoy when I turn 30, so I kinda anxious x'3
@@Noblesse_Sapphire be yourself, you only have one life. it costs too much time to worry about what other people think. Only you can be yourself, so dress how you like, let everyday be special. i wear so much "not normal" clothes daily, party dress yes cause I love being people fun moment of the day. wear a wig yes I do, wear colourful clothes yesyes yesy, blow bubbles and have fun yes make peoples days brighter. Dress as a literal clown and make someone smile, I have done this and I love how people are so nice.
Tbh we are always like this. When I was 13, 14, I’ve always wanted to be more mature, at least look like it, while we stupid kids kept calling the older girls who were 16, 17 “old ladies”. We worshipped cool girls and hated everything that was colour pink. Now I’m heading to my early 40 and start to fall in love with girly stuffs. Not in a TikTok way though.😂
What's the tiktok way though?
Same
I'm the complete opposite. When I was a kid, I knew being an adult was gonna suck! My parents had relationship problems, we had financial problems, and my older sister was going through her angsty teenage phase for most of my childhood. Also our parents didn't speak good English so me and my sister had to help them with a lot of grown ppl stuff that we didnt rlly understand. It didn't help that I was also a "special" kid with a disability. I got to experience the suck of being an adult,and even though I'm an adult now I still act like a kid.
Relatable
I remember when I was 13, 14, 15 I yearn to be 35, 40, or 50 years old.
lol I was gonna be like “oh I’m fourteen” and click on the video but then I remembered I turned 15 a few days ago
happy birthday!
I turn 15 in a few days too 🫡
Happy birthday!
literally same 😭
What day?
Happy birthday when the day comesss
Just want to put out there that some people with bad mental health will unconsciously age regress.
Yes but this is an actual mental condition that is rare. What these tiktokers are doing is different.
@@katies2067 I agree with this 100%. I didn't have a childhood and get "age regression." Luckily, my husband knows everything about my mental health and takes care of me through it, not sexualizes it. I'd never put anything about it out on TikTok. I feel like that'd show off my mental state and could possibly make me a target. These TikTokers are playing dress up with ultra feminine things, saying "I'm just a girl", wanting likes and views. I would never say "I'm just a girl" about anything. I am a full grown woman. I can handle whatever life throws at me. And if these ladies didn't pull the "I'm just a girl" I'd be completely okay with it. It just seems like they're trying to make women seem helpless whenever so long through history we've been trying to get men to see us as equals. 😑
You also have people who do dopamine dressing, they have adhd. This is becoming more accepting which is a POSITIVE thing.
Why do you have to be neurodivergent or have a mental health disorder to justify this? Anyone can dress however they want, and they don’t have to answer to anyone for it.
I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. As a grown-up I've never used a baby voice or acted like a 5 y/o, i think it's kinda weird. But I've always been in love with girl core aesthetics and I'm happy that it's kind of trendy now. I'm happy that now as a grown up and independent person I can finally spend my own money on all these beautiful floral dresses, cute socks, mary jane shoes, glitters and blushes.
I was growing up in 90s and early 2000 which was quite a hard time for my family, so practical clothes were more important since we didn't really have that much money.
There were no big chain stores like h&m in my city yet and I still remember how poor was the clothing choice at the shops we usually went to.
I really loved japanese lolita fashion when I was in my teens but couldn't afford this kind of clothes. I wanted to wear dresses but at the local stores they were usually too ugly, too expensive, too much evening gowns OR the biggest problem! TOO LONG! I'm quite short, about 1.59, and I have no idea what was happening with fashion at that time when I was in my early teens, but I always struggled with clothes being too long to fit me properly. I still remember that time when I could finally find a beautiful and cute casual dress that was of suitable length. I cherish it a lot and still wear it sometimes.
The next problem I had when i was in my teens - was my grandma. She always wanted me to be ~elegant~ and to dress "according to my age". "It's too childish" - I think I've been hearing this since I was 13-14. Cute prints, ribbons and bows were too childish in her eyes for a 13 y/o girl. This is how I started to be rebellious in terms of my looks and I kept this flame in my heart till the times when I could finally buy my own clothes.
I love my current style and I don't care if someone sees it as too childish or too girly or not suitable for a 30 y/o or whatever. I'm finally free and can fulfill all my desires, I have money, I have tons of shops, I don't need my family's approval. If I want to wear my hair in braids, put on lacy socks and floral baby doll dresses and walk through the city drinking my favorite bubble tea - I'll do it!
@annapplepie9342
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Bravo! I’m sooo happy 😃 that you are wearing your dream style🎀✨💖. And I’m grateful that the Girly styles are trendy in this era. I fell in love with Lolita fashion when I was 13 and around about when I was 14 or 15 I fell in love 🥰 with the Kawaii Fashion style. I always wanted to dress creatively during my teens but there wasn’t really any clothing store or sections catered to teens.... I didn’t really mind dressing mature for formal occasions but for casual wear I didn’t like it (wearing modest adult clothing). I HOPE that one I will dress in my dream style. I soon as I started college something SHOCKED 😨..... I saw people my age range wearing aesthetic/ alt clothing I felt a sense of betrayal because I always wanted to dress like that when was 13 and these styles are ONLY surfacing NOW 😡. I’m 19 going on 20 hoping that I can dress Kawaii/fairycore/quirky/gothic. (I need the money first to be able to afford it).
I think the biggest thing I can appreciate about girlcore is the hyperfeminity. The bright colours and the playfulness of the outfits. I think it allows people to dream and connect with a part of themselves they either never got to or they neglected for some reason as they got older. The best advice I've ever heard is definitely allow yourself to still remember what it is to be a kid. We don't have to take ourselves so seriously all the time, and I think that this really allows people to get in touch with that childlike wonder. It can be very healing.
You highlighted some of my biggest issues with this as well, primarily that being the "I'm just a girl" and babytalk. I know people who say "drinky drink" or other things and it just slightly bothers me. We are adults, and while there's nothing wrong with baby talk in certain contexts (with a child or a pet for example) there is also a big jump back I get, personally, with people who talk like that just regularly. As for "I'm just a girl," people using that to act helpless to an extreme or play into "women are just dumb damsels in distress who need saving" that bothers me. It can feed into certain sexist attitudes towards women that I see making a very big rise on the internet again (insert any red piller thought here).
LOVELY video, I enjoyed! Thank you so much for touching on the nuances of this topic and hitting the positives and the possible drawbacks. :)
tbh most people using the "Im just a girl" line do not seriously think they're incapable or unable to do things. It's more so just a satire phrase for when we dont want to do something so we say "I cant do that im just a girl" it's purposefully using the sexist stereotype to avoid doing thing we dont want to do lol. It's not serious
I always felt like women can wear whatever they want. The problem I have is the attitude. Throwing away the maturity, the self reliance you've developed and acting like a literal child. Being willing to throw away your autonomy to be taken care of by a man? Couldn't be me.
At first, we used to talk about how men are behaving like children, towards grown women.
But what about the women who behave the same way, towards older men?
Relationships are beautifull, but people choose to destroy them, by making them as shallow as possible.
I'm not a hater, but honestly, i feel like you're critical of everything out there, lately.
Not feeling it.
She's a professional hater. I'm over it. Let women enjoy things, ffs.
@@Sindelle I know. Exactly. We're all different, trying to find something that helps us feel confident, yet here she is: Hating on every single thing, every other day.
At this point, even if the whole world approves of something, she'll put out a video giving us vague reasons as to why this isn't okay.
Like 🙄🙄
Yeah she wasn’t like this..
Though you probs don't mean it like that, I don't think that wearing baby doll and flower print and lacey dresses should be restricted to little girls. Bows and lace are considered very feminine and people would wear them all the time but I think it was shut down in society for a while because feminine traits would be seen as bad and masculine traits as better. With the rise of women breaking free from men and the rise of girls girls I think woman start to find their way back to feminine clothes without feeling shamed or bad about it.
Now I do believe though that wearing diapers and talking in a baby voice is... questionable,
Can’t wait for the follow up vids critiquing men’s behaviour 🙄 sometimes you eat but not this time Zoe
she is not a girls girl
@@toebiter69 real
She NEVER eats lol. Zoe has already criticized Blackpink's way of dressing, why not this time?
"Appealing for the male audience", she's always contradicting herself and talking bullshiiuuuuuiiit
Any other mid 30s ladies here? It’s such a strange time.. too old too be acting immature but not old enough to be acting like a sophisticated 50 year old lady
I have seen you in the comments of others videos!
34 here and couldn't agree more.
@@Mary-zc4zr hiii 💅🏻
@@nayeligonzalez13 ;)
You can be sophisticated at any age, I don't think anyone's gonna criticize a young person being that way
Harajuku fashion does not belong in that video. It has nothing to do with infantilization, it isn't a recent trend, and has nothing in common with mainstream western trends.
Overall, we really need to drop the "an adult woman wearing twintails is contributing to patriarchy!!" debate for good. Clothes are clothes, and people can wear whatever they want, regardless of a bystander's personal "ick" factor.
I'm sad to say it but I'm really starting to lose interest in your channel, the writing is getting really... :(
I wish there was a way to pin this, but like, on her video if that makes sense
This video was quite possibly the worst I've seen from her so far, even past the diet scandal thingy
@@daisydroid I appreciate it haha, because same, it was a massive letdown. This video was overall so culturally insensitive.
Just as an example, had she done a modicum of research, she would have known that featuring "kawaii" goods/accessories and cutesy japanese trends in her video was beyond tonedeaf.
Childhood is seen differently in Japan, and for this reason, these things CANNOT be infantilizing in the way Westerners imagine it to be. That's why old Japanese people buy Sanrio goods, that's why grown Japanese men go to kitten cafés, etc. The equal relationship between child-parent is called amae (甘え), and is so different from the west.
She should stick to mainstream American fashion if she doesn't want to research anything else. Alternative fashion communities suffer from enough prejudice as it is.
REAL
wrong
I love being 27 with the soul and style of a 86 year old hippy social worker ❤
From that desc. it would be so fun to be around you ..reading this made me smile😅✨
Hippy social workers are fun people! An 86 y.o hippy social worker would be fun, with a whole bucket of wisdom and maybe a sprinkle of sassiness and i love it so much! 💙✨
Both your comments made me smile 🤗❤️ sending love your way!
As a teenager, dressing for your age shouldn't be a thing. As long as someone doesn't fetishize dressing like a child and doesn't act immaturely, a middle-aged woman should be allowed to to where what she wants.
The problem is that “fetishize” is subjective, and since it’s subjective, it’s very easy to use the concept to judge any woman for displaying any childlike qualities.
I don’t care if a woman acts or looks childlike, even if she does it in a sexual way. I’m more concerned about actual literal children.
I hit like when she said, "You'll realize that it doesn't exist because I created it." With her smile.
Let people be happy. Ageism sucks. It's easy to poke funny at older people when you're young, but when you get older you're just gonna self-hate.
Yeah im so tired of people commenting on other peoples clothes and bodies. Who cares. Let people live.
COULDN'T agree more. I have my own life to worry about 😅
I hope that someday we distigmatize the word "old" and embrace aging as a beautiful, empowering thing. Which it is!
I think what keeps someone young is their passion for life and the joy of living in the present. That is the way to keep your youth as you age. Nothing can stop us from growing old, but maintaining a beautiful spirit is alluring to all people.
another greige woman telling real creative people to "stop being weird boo"
She is doing the same thing herself with the half-half hair. She is over 25 I believe.
@@AB-dz7lo exactly lmao
The clothes aren’t the problem, it how people portray themselves in said clothing that is. Nobody NEEDS to “Dress their age” wtf does that even mean? Does that mean that once I hit 30 I need to dress like a mom in the 80s? No, if I want to wear something cute like Hello Kitty then let me do it. God forbid women have self expression in a time period that kind of accepts it, you come off as a hater frfr in this video. Talk about the infantilism issue and educate yourself and others without shitting on peoples fashion choices.
Grown people acting like toddlers is kind of revolting to me. makes me physically back away
@@Gravuun please note some are literally neurodivergent folk. Absolutely not all, but some are. (I'm one of them)
@@princessmanitari4993 This is a great piece of advice. I've met people irl who follow instructions absent understanding and, though it can be jolting, I realize now that they're getting along with what they're given just like I try to😊
Rush of cringe
@@princessmanitari4993 And? I didnt say i will curse at you or do anything if i witness but such behavior, my reaction and my feelings are MY right to express too. If i want to remove myself from that i am allowed to, you dont need my approval to act however you do
@@princessmanitari4993 Are you talking about people with severe/non-verbal autism, that kind of thing? That would be understandable, but neurodivergent people who are more able shouldn't be acting like toddlers in public
0:45 Guess who is going to work??
It's exhausting. Labels everywhere.
I can't be a woman without being called old for my age irl because I dress normal clothes from whatever store I can afford these days. This video triggers me. I am not watching everything.
Caring about what people think, will age you significantly. I'm 37, look 25 and act like I'm 80. It's interesting.
Also i feel like this video is shaming people who genuinely enjoy dressing in hello kitty clothes. You're kind of ignoring the entire subject of people actually wanting to, in the vein of pushing it to your conclusion. I am sitting here in my snorlax overalls. I enjoy wearing those clothes.
This entire video feels very negative to that entire concept, of me. Just crochetting in my overalls. Not everything is infantilization, this is just me being adhd and genuinely enjoying having happy things around me. I have an automatic baby voice since a child, because i'm tired. My voice just becomes smaller. Why was this entire part fully ignored??? Please look into the concept of neurodivergent women and manic pixie girls!!! We've been shouting about this for years 😭 this video is so ignorant of our battles please look it up!! Rowan (i believe they have blue hair) also did amazing video's on this concept!!
Edit: yeah this video is ignorant of entire subjects within neurodivergency, infantilization that happens 24/7 against neurodivergent folk (manic pixie girls, again.) And this video is shaming people. It's hate.
Thank you for this comment!
I really hope someone makes a video calling this out,,,,, this is awful behavior and she should know better
@@daisydroid no worries!! I felt so much passion for this i just had to!! I agree, i really hope she catches some of the 'backlash' on this vid (feels too heavy to actually call it that) researches more, and then maybe collab with another youtuber commentary person who is neurodivergent and knows about this. Education is important!
Exactly she’s hating on women for no reason. I get the cringy vibes from the ones acting like babies/toddlers, but hating on women wearing cute dresses or whatever is pretty damn weird. She’s honestly an ignorant
I paint with pastel colors and sparkles and I don’t sexualize it at all?? Like what, I need to be bitter and not have fun lol! God the vibe in this video is so weirdddddddd,
forreal.
0:40 - okay Katie is a content creator she does it as SATIRE
Jfc, this video is just kid with microphone thinks she's lived enough of life and has insight. Girl, you don't.
I know super mature teenagers who already want to settle down and I know people much older who are very young at heart, and are thrill seekers. Acting someones age is different for everyone. You only live once, dress like a princess if your heart desires such things! However, I believe it crosses a line when people try to sexualize childhood traits.
I get the overall point, but I don't fully understand why dressing cute is trying to infantalize yourself. Sometimes it's not that deep, and you just want to wear a shirt with a kitten and bows on it because it makes you happy. I'm an adult, and i've never stopped liking cute girly things, and why should there be an expiration on them? I think people are taking what they love about their youth and adjusting it to fit their current life. It's kind of beautiful.
I feel called out. I'm turning 30 this year and I love it when people think I'm around 19 (I've a round face, which helps), so I dress as a teenager most of the time: cargo pants, crop tops, pleated skirts... And I look good, I like it, but sometimes I feel it's kinda ridiculous. A couple of years ago I dressed more like an adult, and I still looked good and got compliments for my style. I think turning 30 is messing with my head.
I feel like staying up with the trends and looking 19 when you’re a glowing 30 is different then infantilization ❤ don’t worry!!
As long as you're not trying to act like a little kid around other adults to get attention, it should be fine tbh... when older people try to act like a little girl/boy, that's when it gets weird.
It’s totally ok as long as you’re not trying to sexualize yourself for men
30 is still pretty young tho. you should wear what makes you happy tbh, you're age doesnt matter
Girl keep slaying
Oh man so I'm 29 but I'm kind of scared to wear bows and like mary janes for fear of being seen as someone tryna be a teenager. I swear I'm not trying to be weird. It's just that now a lot of clothes that I would have liked as a teenager are now available in my size. I really want to enjoy these new aesthetics but then I get hella self conscious and just feel stupid.
Girl wear them and stop taking people who judge women for wearing bows seriously. Men are wearing the same clothes from their teenage days till they grow way old. No one says a thing. So why should women stop being feminine all of the sudden when we reach our 30s or older?
Like what are we supposed to wear? A tie and a suit?? No.
Coming from an 18 year old WEAR IT GIRL. LIVE A Fulfilled LIFE. HAVE FUN AND SLAY
i honestly adore lolita fashion (the fashion you showed a few times in the video, it comes from japan and has been a thing for a loooong time by now. not everything you showed is lolita, but those that were do not belong to this “new trend” necessarily). i think it’s such a creative way of dressing and expressing yourself through your clothing. that being said i cannot ignore the weird origin and connotations the fashion has. i don’t think that dressing that way has to be inherently weird. some people just enjoy bows and soft pink without thinking of little kids. but it is true that it can be very weird.
This whole channel is like AI trying to do commentary videos
I get the concept that you’re getting at at the same time. I feel like you missed a lot of good points that were brought up in the comment section. 41 is 14 no it’s not but I do think that anyone can have the right to dress up as a certain aesthetic for themselves only or how they like to present themselves because that’s what they feel good in. I would like to add that I know there’s certain people that say that the baby doll look is to get the male attention to be sexualized, but I don’t think that’s the case. Women have the right to dress however they want, but others may still have opinions that we just have to brush off and not care about them.
but i feel like a lot of the vids she's showing as examples are satire 😭😭like hayley baylees
100%
Even tho, put them in paragraph, but still, it's a long reply, I just need to get them out of my system, so feel free to ignore ^^
So I think, some people thought it kinda makes her sounds like she doesn't really understand some things she said or makes her sounds hypocritical?
Idk tho, some of the examples looks okay to me, even some of them are just skits, even the Haley one, she sometimes do makes skits too, right?
There's a big possibility the the ones that acting like literal babies are fetish videos (she could also talked about how those videos could contribute to children s*xual violence or pron addicts but she didn't 😔)
but i also know some women with mental age regression because of trauma act like that too, so it's also a bit of sensitive topic there (I'm sadly not the sharpest tool in the shed, so sometimes I can't tell :"D)
The one that threw people off i think is the lolita ones, that basically just a japanese subculture, but why did she put them here too, is it because they looks childish? I can't find other reason, unfortunately, so maybe you can tell your 2 cents :D
The internet are full of people with different background, mindset and level of understanding, i think it's wiser to make it clear if things are satire
it's a hassle, i know but sometimes satire is so subtle that even the sharpest person can't see it, when that happen, only the creators knows if it's actually a satire or an insult pretending to be one 😅
interesting point that perhaps this girlhood thing has sprung to life due to how awful the world has become. we want a trouble free life.
You have no idea how fast I clicked😂
I hurt my leg running here😂😂😂
Faster than light
What I don’t get about this younger gen is that they try to cancel and dive deep on every single detail. It’s exhausting I almost got roped into it.. then I saw a pattern. As long as a kid stays in their lane and an Adult stays in theirs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to dress youthful when you’re grown as hell. There is nothing wrong with acting like a teenager when you’re well past 40. Don’t mix harmful fun with sexuality. Little girls dressing overly sexual should be an entire separate conversation and needs to be addressed. Don’t blame normal adults for what corporate society has pushed on us all.
honestly turn 35 and you’ll be shocked bc you still feel and basically look 27/29
attention is a helluva drug
Yup
It's not just that
UwU
I’m 57 and I wear what I like, and what looks good on me. I look good in low slung, flares, so that’s what I wear. Stay mad about it if you think I’m too old to dress the way that I do, but I have washboard abs and I’m built like 25-year-old Pamela Anderson.
Cry about it.
Blah blah let people liveeee. As long as it's not harming anyone period
You are right but people need to understand they aren’t younger/older sometimes, it’s good to do whatever you want but not all the time think ur younger, you need to remember ur age sometimes and not act like a baby (as I said, sometimes)
I don’t think lolita fashion or similar styles are childlike at all children don’t even dress like that
I love girly styles in my mid 30s. But it’s not about attracting men, my husband isn’t into girly styles, he would have liked me best wearing casual. It’s simply my little protest against stereotypes, it’s letting myself wear what I always secretly liked and it’s celebrating inner child. Life is hard and boring so why not to make accent on attractive and happy things?! (doesn’t mean totally escaping obligations). Yet, have to admit, the feeling of being protected allows women to feel relaxed and safe enough to wear styles like this.
I'm late 20s, 28, dress punk/e-girl because that's the music I like and some TV shows/ anime.. I've been told it's just a phase.. I don't want to stop enjoying things really. I also dress on the revealing side. I think goth-like style is accepted as more mature to lolita but still.. I have been told I'm too old to enjoy those things and express myself and it hurts. Maybe after 40 I will, but not anytime soon.
This set women back. As an educated woman who has had to struggle to be taken seriously, this is so sad
Millennials are the first generation to grow old on social media, please cut us some slack.
Im gen z and I get annoyed at how judgmental and ageist gen z is towards millennials. About the dumbest things too.
I'm glad I came to the comments to see I'm not the only woman that feels a certain way about this video. Normally I binge this channel and appreciate Zoe's viewpoints but this video made me feel like because the fashion sense and "aesthetic" I've always liked is trending in 2024 then it's now a problem with the infantilization of women and it's somehow shameful. I always liked lolita and jfashion but could not afford it growing up, so now that I have financial stability I go all out. Just a few years ago I was constantly stared at and shamed in public for my interests and now that key elements of these types of fashions are trending I get compliments when I go outside, but still an issue is found. Although not specifically stated, I believe and agree that many of the girls on social media take it to an extreme and this is probably where the real problems begin, but there isn't anything inherently unsavory about liking "little girl and schoolgirl dresses" as it's put. Many of us older closeted teenage nerds got our fashion inspiration from anime and Asian street fashion growing up, but that wasn't cool 15 years ago. This video is all over the place, very poorly researched and I'm disappointed.
Personally, I will be wearing pink sparkles until I die.
I am 14 and when I saw this and I immediately tapped on the vid. And I just have to say us women should be able to grow up normally and not have stress change who we are.
A lot of the videos you showed here are satire and the content creator aren’t serious…
Meanwhile I'm gonna act my age by wearing whatever TF I feel like wearing and ignoring people who 💩 on me for it, because I'm too old to waste the limited time I have left on haters.
I think there are two kinds of "babygirls". The one's that are infantilized and sexualized for the sake of men and the one's just tired of so much responsibility and who are embracing their childlike freedom. I don't think they are the same.
I think everyone can dress however they want regardless of their age
Woman don't feel older in their minds, my mum us 81 and does not feel it. We can dress anyway that makes us happy, what is dressing your age anyway? Sounds confining
Pet peeve of mine: I think fashions/styles don’t have an age limit and if your look depends on you being young, then you’re not relying on your skill as a stylist so much as you’re just selling youth. That being said, the idolization of youth in our culture is problematic. We should be able to be mature women and still be sexy, still feel ourselves and not feel like we have “expired”. I’m wise and I’m powerful. I feel more confident in myself with every year that passes. I don’t need to lie to myself about looking 20. I’m going to be 35 and I fucking love it. Anyway, that’s my tirade about being a woman and aging lmao.
Acting like a child and wanting to be a child when you aren't is infantilizing or if someone treats you like a child but you aren't is infantilizing. hair bows lace and the color pink isn't only for little girls. I think you are confused or putting together things that don't need to be together. Acting like a child and being s3xy is p3do not infantilizing. Looks younger than you are or taking care of yourself is not infantilizing, obsession over looks and aging is still not infantilizing but it is a fear of aging. Woman do want to be looked after in relationships that's why we pick men that have alot of money or has a way to keep you safe it's not infantilizing.
as someone just getting into lolita fashion i'm just a little offended.... it's just clothing (to me at least)
yeah its almost like clothes does not have an age, but people who don't know about alt fashion seems like they like to infantalise anything that's different from what they deem as normal so. also slightly offended here in (alt gothic lolita)
LET WOMEN DO WHAT THEY WANT STOP JUDGING WOMEN
Given the war in the country where I live, growing up and aging are privileges
"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her daughter, she is perfectly satisfied." The Picture of Dorian Grey (1891).
I really enjoy your videos.
I really love your quote, "girlhood is a spirit...to be brave and bold enough to dream" I know for me, and I'm sure many others who had to skip a large portion of their childhoods taking care of others or parenting themselves, or a myriad of other things children shouldn't be responsible for, reclaiming that 'girlhood' is something dreamt of. And I think that quote puts it nicely in a very adult-friendly way that doesn't infantilize that desire, but makes it attainable, no matter how far into adulthood you are.
‘Glucose guardian’ is a beauty
I love the girly look. Its cute and makes me happy *cries*
You do you then. If anyone else cares that sounds like a personal problem with them.