I used to be insecure and envy others. Here's my advice.
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- Опубликовано: 5 июн 2021
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Хобби
Hi!! I missed you all. Thank you for sticking around. Please share something, ANYTHING, going on in your life recently.
watching your vids, meditating, achieving personal growth, journaling. ♥️
I have a crush on this girl for almost 3 months straight now. It's been slow going but the story is unfolding ever so slightly. There's no telling where this will go. It's going to be a scary adventure full of potential suffering and enlightenment... let's see.
Piano playing, pencil drawing, fiction reading, script writing, travel planning, nature walking
Thank you for sharing this wonderful video. You making falling in love look so easy. I don't' even think you realize how beautiful you are when you look yourself in a mirror. You're perfect Lana ❤️
We missed you too!! Right now I’m focusing on trying to create more videos for my channel, stuck in a bit of a rut but trying not to focus on being perfect but just putting content out and hopefully growing my RUclips! 💖
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones" Proverbs 14:30
Amen
Wisdom! Amen
ruclips.net/video/bB-l6SMHmCk/видео.html
amen
i almost cried reading this
“Comparison is the thief of happiness”.
The thief of joy
@@salimahleilani8656 tk
Bingo.
This is why asian kids are miserable lol
@@luciusnguyen2449 I’m Asian and I can relate, it’s so bad, comparison is like breathing for us!
a flower doesn’t compare itself to the flower next to it, it just blooms.
a good mental trick that i picked up from jenn im to help you get out of comparing yourself is by realizing that everyone is multi-faceted and you can't just cherry pick what you want from people. so if you say you wanna be someone else, you have to be ready to take everything that comes with being that person -- their family dynamics, their educational background, their hobbies and interests, any medical conditions. the game isn't so that you find something that'll eventually have you come out on top but to make you realize that no one is just a pretty face, a 10/10 body, or a great career.
Love this! 💓💓
I wanna tattoo this comment
Woah so good
Thankyou 🥰
Wow i never thought about it like that
there’s this girl at my school, you know pretty, trendy, and i guess popular, and she posted a photo on instagram. seeing it really made me feel envious and jealous because she looked so cool in it. she looked like how i wanted myself to look, if that made sense. everything from her athletic body, her cute clothes, her perfect skin, man it made me feel so insecure. but then i came here and instantly began to feel better, especially seeing the comments of other stories similar to mine. instead of continuing my jealously, i went back to post and wrote a nice comment for her. its so much better to praise and lift someone up, than envy and despise. i don’t even care if she sees the comment or not, it just felt so good to do something that the past me wouldn’t have done.
you're growing. Appreciate you sharing this.
Thars very big of you! xo We all struggle with this, but I am so proud of you. You have enviable things about you too xo
Believe it or not, this might be the most important post you'll read
Everyone of us has broken God's moral law, the Ten Commandments. We have all lied, stolen, hated and lusted. And James 2:10 states that breaking one of the Commandments makes us guilty of breaking them all. Problem is, we can never outweigh our sins through good works because the Creator is perfect in Holiness, meaning His standard is far above ours. And He is also perfect in Justice, meaning not a single sin will go unpunished. And the punishment of sin is being cast into hell, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth with no end. Ever.
Fortunately, God is also perfect in love, so 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ left His throne in Heaven and came to this earth as a man. He lived a perfect, sinless life and He so loved us, that He took the punishment of our sin, when He suffered horribly on the cross. Isaiah 53 tells us that his face was marred beyond recognition and that he suffered more than any man. But right before His death, Jesus said "It is finished" meaning the the debt for our sins was paid in full. But on the 3rd day, Jesus conquered death and He was resurrected. So that means now, we can go free from the wrath of God's judgment not by earning it, but rather as a free gift of grace, if you accept Jesus. But, a gift can either accepted or rejected.
So if you want to accept the free gift or forgiveness, of grace, and of salvation, this is what you should do:
Humbly admit to God that you have sinned against Him, and through gratitude in the sacrifice of His Son, repent (turn away) from your old sinful ways. Then, confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, your Savior. Believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross, was buried, and was resurrected 3 days later. Roman's 10:9 and 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 says that if you do this you are saved. I'm not telling you to get religious, because Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship with God. Religion says DO, but Jesus Christ says DONE! Ephesians 2:8-9 says For it is by grace we are saved through faith, not of works, lest any man should boast.
And the moment you do this, God will grant you a new heart, which does not take pleasure in sin and He will give you eternal life. Nothing on this earth even close to compares to what awaits believers.
What you do with this information will determine where you will be for Eternity; meaning accepting Christ is the single most important decision you'll EVER make. And all of us here, believer or atheist, know that this is very true.
Jesus Christ wants YOU to come to Him this very moment; don't even think about sleeping until you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, because your tomorrow isn't guaranteed. You could die at any moment. Hebrews 9: 27 "It is appointed unto man once to die, but after this, the Judgment."
All praise and honor to Jesus Christ, King of kings, Lord of lords.
Wow, me too
It is worth considering her point of view. If she feels the need to post selfies on social media, the chances are she is doing it because she wants attention, positive comments etc, to make herself feel good. Which is a symptom of low self esteem. Maybe she was feeling insecure that day and wanted a boost etc. One thing I have learned over the years, even the most beautiful women are insecure in some way, usually because they have to compete with other beautiful women who may have an edge on them (it could be height, or eye colour, or hair thickness, or bust size etc). There will always be something they hate about themselves in comparison to others, no matter how good they already look. People have a tendency to take things for granted instead of being grateful for what they already have, and this envy culture promotes that.
In my culture we call this "crab mentality." Imagine many crabs in a bucket trying to escape and pulling each other down. That's exactly what resentment is.
Thats beautiful🥰 such a true image of all this
SAME OMG
MY MOM USED TO TALK ABOUT IT A LOT,
I like that! Curious what culture this saying is from?
@@homiekeen23 Philippines
I hate the feeling of envy and jealousy, and I feel guilty for feeling those feelings instead of being happy for my friends
I was literally sitting here stewing in jealousy, feeling physically ill over the fact that someone I like likes my coworker better than me. Shes tall, skinny, funny, smart, and absolutely beautiful. Everyone loves her. Even me. Shes everything I always wanted to be. I think this video was a sign trying to help me. Letting me know im not any less beautiful just because she is too.
I once felt same! But you also have so many qualities that perhaps she would admire. You shine your own way. Be happy for her and keep growing for yourself :)
& same, also the boys loved her more. But its fine :) it means he's not for you. You don't want that !
If I were you I'll do the mirror thing. It is like a self inner search. Because maybe what you see in her it's actually a part of you that is like "sleeping" and your mind wants to bring it to light so you see it everywhere. Like for example you said she was funny and maybe you're funny too but you don't know that yet cause that part of you is "sleeping". Doing an inner self work will help you with that. Maybe you'll find yourself more attractive and funny that you think
@@Immiadancing thats super helpful thanks! 🤠🥰
@@jahkugou you're welcome 💕
why is my envy increasing with age... i literally went from not caring to suddenly caring about everything 😓😪😢
Literally omg I didn’t care ab nobody else’s business now all of a sudden I started noticing. Really talking to ppl romantically/dating triggered it for me.
Same! 🤦🏻♀️
Only care about the things that make u happy
Literally me 🤦 i used to care only about acads back in high school, but now it's too extreme that i'm questioning my whole being
@@bellelili7808 omg that’s literally me 😣
‘Compare yourself to who were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.’ - Jordan Peterson
Also, clean your room and stand up straight with your shoulders back, like a capable lobster 🦞
😂😂😂
@@olivia-fy2vf lol this made me laugh!😂
I DO THAT AND I STILL HATE ON MYSELF IF I WAS ,,BETTER“ YESTERDAY ITS HORRIBLE IDK HOW TO STOP IT
@@juliachanel1935 Notice when you’re being unnecessarily harsh/negative about yourself, and stop. You’re honestly not as bad as you think you are.
I didn’t have a normal childhood or adolescence. My teens suuuuucked and I didn’t get to live up life like a normal teenager. Never got asked out, never went to parties, had no social life.... So when I hear about people’s great childhood, or their fun teenage years, that makes me suuuuuper envious of them. I am 28 and still feel resentful for a life that I didn’t have....
You can still have that life, it really is up to you to have a social life. Even if you didn’t have social skills to make friends, you can always practice and practice. In a decade you are going to feel the same if you don’t change. Being resentful is one thing, but not making a change is another. Stop having a pity party.
as if I had the great teenage life 💀
Makes the three of us
Think about the good things that happened in your teens, even if they’re small.
I saw something today that said “you’re never too old to reinvent yourself” also “Don’t be afraid to start over, You might like your new story” ✨
I'm a psychology student and here I am, searching how to not feel insecure.. ☹️
Can't even apply my learnings to myself at this very moment when I feel low...
I just feel so lost and lonely. One day, I will feel cute and pretty and sometimes, I suddenly feel insecure. I know that some things are out of our control but, you know, sometimes it's hard to not give a dam* about it or not think about it at all. I always try to love myself more but I just feel so crushed inside. 😞 Hugs to every ladies out there. 🥺
Girl that's okay. Nobody has it perfect. Emotions are like roller coasters. They have ups and downs and sometimes you can't control it but there's nothing wrong with that. It's just life so accept and embrace them.
I hear you. It’s challenging to apply the learned, and think how can I help others when I struggle to help myself and be your own cheerleader? One way that helps me is to zoom out and see the whole picture of me. When you set focus on a detailed part of yourself that you dislike it can spiral downwards. Nobody is perfect, not you and not any other person. But by zooming out and then focus on the good parts that you identify with, the feeling of inadequacy and feeling down weakens and becomes less important. The impostor syndrome will creep in even when you advance in your studies, sadly, but you can change to a more supportive self-talk.
hey!! i feel lost and lonely too, hehe that makes two of us! :) guess we arent that alone at being lonely anymore.
You don't even know how much I can relate to that. I'm a psychology student too and honestly for years I thought that I'm so miserable because even with all the knowledge I get I still feel insecure, lonely and not good enough. But the truth is that I'm still a human being and I have right to feel bad about myself sometimes and it's okay to reach out for help, in fact many psychologists was on their own therapy as well (which was quite unbelivable to me earlier lol). So just keep working on yourself because if you'll take care of yourself you'll be able to spread sunshine on other people. Hugs to you ❤
Felt this exact way. Turns out it was bipolar disorder. I was lmao while my therapist told me this
I just want to find happiness in myself because being insecure holds me back so much from being my best self.
THIS! 😢
Armin😌❤️...on your dp
I feel you 🥺 Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore
same
i feel the sameee! but we can do it by keep trying : )
Only a minute into the video and you’ve already hit the mark for me: “Not only do I want what you have, but I don’t want you to have it.” This is me when I see someone with a whole life aesthetic that I want. 😭
So true
Same
that’s sad... smh
Lmao😂😂😂😂
ugh scary...
Better never show off to anyone, because evil eye is real. someone can dead because of envious people.
Its not because envious cant have what someone got. But envious wish evil to other, and harm the target. Dont be envy with someones blessings. You need to know you have your own blessing you never noticed. See good in you, have self respect, you will see that you are blessed and you are a blessings.
I envy other girls a lot. I envy their bodies, their hair, their symmetrical faces, nicely shaped lips, height, relationships, how mature they look compared to me who looks like a child and not womanly enough. For me it got worse with age, I'm in my 20s and I care more than I did before. I don't have any of those things and I'm trying to accept myself but I am so annoyed and sad at the fact that someone can be so lucky and get the perfect genes and people automatically love them because they are attractive and some people like me have to work through 100 insecurities because I know I'm ugly and I wonder whether I'll ever be desirable for anyone.
💯
You just need to accept the way you are! Be grateful ❤
This is me, this is my life 😢
@@akano.zhimomigrateful for what? Being treated like I don’t exist?
You just need to focus on things that are under your control. Don't waste energy on things you can't change. Just as there are "luckier" ppl than you, there's also millions ppl who are more miserable than you. It's just how life works. We can't decide how we are brought into this world. But you can decide to make the life you got a bit better :)
Best advice I’ve ever received on this…and it’s true… “All of these people don’t actually care how you look! They’re way too busy caring how they look.”
I always say “ADMIRE not ENVY, ASPIRE TO BE not BRING DOWN” simple as that
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Love this
YES SAME not those exact words but the same philosophy!
My problem is that the person i envy i don't admire that person. I want to be like them but i don't like them either. It's not that i don't like them because I want to be like them. It's because they are mean, they bring people down etc. But she's pretty, is popular, etc.
Lol are filipino? Cuz my dad always says that :D
What helped me to stop comparing myself to others is the fact that we really don't know that much about the people we are comparing ourselves with. They might only appear to be happy - maybe they are miserable, depressed, or suffering in other ways when we are not around them. For example, I was heavier in high school and got bullied for that. I would have killed to look like Lana back then and yet it turns out she also suffered due to her body type in high school... Fact is, we never know the full story of someone else's life. That's why now I only compare myself to who I was yesterday!
Exactly they might be envy something in us
Agree! And a gap between reality and "what we actually see" ( especially on social media) is soooo huge!
So true!
True but then again, even if they are this perfect and happy i think that it's good to try to be happy for them because them being successful doesn't take anything away from us.
The key is recognizing that you too are worth something and you too have many positive qualities. The only person you should compare yourself the most is simply... You. You now and you from the past. But yeah, trying to be happy for someone else and recognizing their good qualities while also being able to acknowledge that we are special and good too is most important
Exactly
My sudden envy and jealousy of younger girls and anything in happy couples I've noticed stems from childhood trauma and general life sorrows that continued on throughout my life. It's more a feeling of grief and loneliness for a life that I never had.
I'm starting to feel this way, too. In my 40s as a single mom.
im jealous of literally everyone because i struggle with some mental health issues. I'm working so hard to live my life every day while they do it with no sweat on their backs. its so frustrating. but comparison is the devil. this is the only life i got and i just have to live with it.
We spend so much time looking at other people's lives instead of our own, it's kind of exhausting. I've overcome jealousy by realising I can admire something in someone else without feeling like I need to be/do the same
@milky skies omg what?!? me?? thats so sweet!! made my day!
@Tyler Gibson YES TYLER!! That exactly :)
How do you do that? I compare myself with others all the time and its destroying my self-esteem 😔
I like this !
@@helloworld2054 realising it doesn’t have to be a comparison, it can just be acknowledging what someone else has and admiring it.
*Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.*
If you saw this comment, I hope you have an amazing day! 🖤
Thanks 😊 hope you have an amazing day too!
@@dominikcobb1355 💯💯
Thank you, hope you too!
@@kymi9016 🙏🙏
amen to that!
For me Social media ppl aren’t ppl I envy.
It’s usually ppl I see everyday, that reminded me daily of my imperfections.
For me its both
I think it was the opposite for me. I used to be carefree in my teens- never cared about what others are doing. I’m in my 20’s now and I hate feeling this way.. I know everyone has their own timeline and things progress at different paces but I just think it’s so unfair at times.. and I hate feeling like this. I pray to God that I stop feeling like this. I hope it all goes away soon.
Hoping all of you have blessed lives. ✨
It gets worse with time smh I'm in my 30s
Stan BTS Fr Fr
Worst feeling ever i pray for God to take it away from me daily
@@favored...31amen
Me too! I never felt that way but lately now that I’m older I am.
This is why I refuse to use social media except YT. I have to focus more on developing and improving my self, my mentality, physical well being , intelligence, emotions and life as a whole . And as a woman, I think the world would be better if we acknowledge each other's strengths and achievements instead of putting down others because of jealousy and envy. Thank you very much Lana. Glad to see you again. You are indeed an elegant and amazing woman! ☺️💪😘
I also deleted all socials except RUclips! It’s been amazing for my self esteem
Believe it or not, this might be the most important post you'll read
Everyone of us has broken God's moral law, the Ten Commandments. We have all lied, stolen, hated and lusted. And James 2:10 states that breaking one of the Commandments makes us guilty of breaking them all. Problem is, we can never outweigh our sins through good works because the Creator is perfect in Holiness, meaning His standard is far above ours. And He is also perfect in Justice, meaning not a single sin will go unpunished. And the punishment of sin is being cast into hell, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth with no end. Ever.
Fortunately, God is also perfect in love, so 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ left His throne in Heaven and came to this earth as a man. He lived a perfect, sinless life and He so loved us, that He took the punishment of our sin, when He suffered horribly on the cross. Isaiah 53 tells us that his face was marred beyond recognition and that he suffered more than any man. But right before His death, Jesus said "It is finished" meaning the the debt for our sins was paid in full. But on the 3rd day, Jesus conquered death and He was resurrected. So that means now, we can go free from the wrath of God's judgment not by earning it, but rather as a free gift of grace, if you accept Jesus. But, a gift can either accepted or rejected.
So if you want to accept the free gift or forgiveness, of grace, and of salvation, this is what you should do:
Humbly admit to God that you have sinned against Him, and through gratitude in the sacrifice of His Son, repent (turn away) from your old sinful ways. Then, confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, your Savior. Believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross, was buried, and was resurrected 3 days later. Roman's 10:9 and 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 says that if you do this you are saved. I'm not telling you to get religious, because Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship with God. Religion says DO, but Jesus Christ says DONE! Ephesians 2:8-9 says For it is by grace we are saved through faith, not of works, lest any man should boast.
And the moment you do this, God will grant you a new heart, which does not take pleasure in sin and He will give you eternal life. Nothing on this earth even close to compares to what awaits believers.
What you do with this information will determine where you will be for Eternity; meaning accepting Christ is the single most important decision you'll EVER make. And all of us here, believer or atheist, know that this is very true.
Jesus Christ wants YOU to come to Him this very moment; don't even think about sleeping until you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, because your tomorrow isn't guaranteed. You could die at any moment. Hebrews 9: 27 "It is appointed unto man once to die, but after this, the Judgment."
All praise and honor to Jesus Christ, King of kings, Lord of lords.
Awe!
@@frenchcafe7429 nice!
@@jesusisking3814 Amen! Thank you for this!
Most of us, women, have also been “built” by others to compete against each other and horribly criticize each other. I still get some negative thoughts here and there, but I’m working on those.
*EDIT* Nobody said men don’t have any struggles. Why ya’ll always gotta bring that up whenever a women is speaking about *her* struggles as a woman. It’s a topic ABOUT WOMEN.
AGREE
Chicks be crazy mayne
Ah yes just women… and not every human being within an individualist society
i agree with this except the women part, men also have their own struggles that women can't possibly understand (and vice versa of course). in fact, gender is not even the main factor in this sentiment you express. every human being has to deal with their own set of inequities put onto them just by existing.
@@lindab1679 women have been sexualized for so many centuries by men that we've become conditioned to competing with other women. Especially in media, I grew up watching high-school movies/shows were two women compete over the same guy and try to get their validation. It's even worse in places like the middle East where in some countries, women don't even have constitutional rights. So for you to say that men go through the same is incorrect. You sound like such a pick me tbh.
my biggest issue is seeing other people get compliments for something I have, but I don’t get them/or seeing them get compliments for something they clearly don’t have, but I have and so I should get those instead
I’m just saying, everybody has their crowd, idiots won’t recognize masterpieces 💅🏻✨ but u keep slayin!
Ugh I am currently going through this. I love and adore my best friend but I also feel jealous of her. She’s simply stunning; she’s the type of woman men break their neck for, she has a boyfriend that treats her like a queen and overall people are just drawn to her. Logically I know she’s far from perfect but I want to be her so bad too?
The fact that you’re able to be honest about that with yourself is admirable! We’ve all been there at some point. I believe that jealousy is absolutely normal and okay to feel, as long as we don’t let it turn us into resentful people who try to sabotage for others or hurt them. ❤️
envy
Someone once told me that people are mirrors. You see things that you have in others. Or maybe things you really like in others and you fail to replicate in you. It happens sometimes when someone is being extroverted and another person tries to take them down just because they want to be like that but for some reason they can't. That envy can do that. You see everything good in her and idealize it. But look very close into yourself and you'll see that you have the potential to be just like that and maybe better because it will be your own version of it. I personally think that we wouldn't see those things we like in others if we didn't have it ourselves. Because we can't see what we don't know and don't have or maybe we overlook it. If I were you I would write down everything good that she is, every quality that you like about her. And then see if you have some of it in you so you can work on it. Like if you like that she is confident you can work on your own confidence. Hope you can understand what I mean. Sending you lots of love 💕
Tbh, same. She’s not my best friend anymore though- dw we’re still great friends, and our closeness as friends has nothing to do with my jealousy. I just feel like we don’t “click” like we used to, and I have gotten more friends that I’ve gotten closer to (probably same for her). I don’t know if the reason we don’t click anymore is because her personality changed or my personality changed- maybe even both? Anyway, I don’t treat her any differently or let my jealousy show, but I can’t help but feel a bit jealous deep down. She’s so pretty, and I feel like she could date a lot of boys at our school even though she’s not popular. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I wish boys would give me attention like they do to my friend. Maybe it has something to do with being the only girl in my elementary classes and being spoiled all my life till now, or maybe it has to do with that I really want a boyfriend (mix of both tbh). I would NEVER try to steal her current boyfriend or get together with her exes if she didn’t want me to, but I have to admit that I have found all her exes to be cute. And I’m not saying that I’ve never received male attention before, but it’s probably not even close to the amount that she has received (which is tbh why I’m so insecure to talk to my crush cause I feel like I’m not pretty enough). Sorry for the SUPER long comment and I know nobody is going to read it, I just really needed to get this off my chest.
@@OMGMyHypeBoyKeitamaybe the key point is your insecurity. Most likely you could be equally as interesting if you had more trust in yourself. I personally also think there is no good reason to have many boyfriends as long as you are able to find one person you can be together with for a while. Ever thought about why she has exes? Because it didn’t work out. Meaning there was heartbreak and maybe regret involved. I used to feel just like you. Never had a boyfriend, didn‘t think I was good or interesting enough in comparison with others. For me aging and caring less about myself did the trick. And ultimately getting off of social media.
“ Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” Iyanla Vanzant
👍
It's insane that a guy would send you a picture like that with such an awful message. This definitely tells you a lot about his own insecurities within himself.
@Julia Vasquez one time a man told me I had no boobs. And women with boobs are like flowers with petals. And I had no petals. :(
@@janelledillon6553 A guy that doesn't think much of himself has a hard time seeing the beauty in others. It's clear to me that you are overflowing with flower petals.
@@Leoo117 thank you. :)
m.ruclips.net/video/R934clijk4A/видео.html
ニャ
@@janelledillon6553 woah that's rude
me as a woman in my early 20s: carefree, non-judgemental, supportive of others, chill. i thought this really made me a cucumber. then i got hit by a bad group, an over-glorified fwb open situation, and a subsequent move across the country. suddenly i was alone and completely vulnerable- to describe how it felt emotionally, it was like being a potato. yanked out of the safe, secure earth, peeled and then boiled alive. i became a walking scar on the inside and the envy from insecurity and wanting it myself was insane. pretty girls online? fake. group of friends? shut up, not everyone needs to know you hang out 24/7. happy people? stupid. musician? lucky plant. couple? eww, gross, get a room. close-knit family? you want a cookie? etc, you get the point. slowly making crawling progress but even baby steps feel like the stride of a giant at times. it’s only my fear of becoming irreparably bitter and hard, and through that, truly alone and truly miserable, that keeps me working. not living in the victim state is 100% on point
the instant bitterness is so real , this video was honestly really good though. especially the bit about looking at people who have what you want as someone who could help you. i still find myself full of so much hatred randomly and it makes me so tired ,but fr good luck to you pookie we are all a little confused
I think that worst of all our social media, we are always looking at what others do, and we can't focus enough on ourselves to try to have a happy life without thinking about what we don't have. So yeah, the comparison is one of the worst evils. Wish everyone a happy and healthy life
The worst thing is that many "perfect" lives in social media are either fake, or don't tell the whole truth. But even when you acknowledge that, those unrealistic life styles will continue being pushed into your thoughts and ruining your mentality. Even the people behind these fake lives could be insecure themselves so they resort to creating this perfect image of themselves online to get rid of that feeling
That first two minutes so succinctly illustrated the mentality of people on the internet nowadays...
Absolutely!!
This was a mentality long before the internet. I mean, I don't want to bring religion into this, but even in the ten commandments (dating back to about the 13th century) it mentioned the problem of envy and that people should be careful not to covet other's belongings or lives. This is just the oldest recorded example I can think of. I feel like this is more of a longterm societal problem than something that's arisen with the internet, it's been present in every society and I think every human has been envious at some point.
@@meganmullis5386 True. Many emotions and mental aspects do come from thousands of years. Back then we don't know how people coped with anxiety, depression or other emotions. But today we have -- thankfully-- a friend or a relative or psychologists who can help us through life. Even Better Help and 211 (in my State) you call and they have experts to help you. All in all, these emotions are as old since the birth of mankind.
"Everyone experiences bouts of jealousy; but the dignified person conceals it, while the vulgar one acts upon it."
Ibn Taymiyyah
Subhan Allah. I love this!
What does acting upon it include?
I'm proud to say I never acted on my jealousy! 😊 But I still struggle with putting myself down everytime I get jealous......
@@melissalewis2817 shaming them, bullying them, gossiping about them
"everyone experiences bouts of jealousy"
what do you mean by everyone
Envy is an epiphany of self-awareness. Your problem to process. No amount of deflection or projection will quell it. It's an unquenchable lust for power. It's taking other people's inventory as your own.
This is profound, it makes me question myself and I think I’m growing to like that
It’s easy to be envious of others when you feel like you’re very behind in life from what I’ve noticed but it’s exhausting and not going to help me get better so it’s best to let go while focusing and working on you instead of staying stuck with envy and wasting precious time.
I think envy also comes around when we fail to appreciate ourselves and what we have. If we can find gratitude, that would be the antidote to envy. Of course we’ll need to take actions to follow through on this but I’m glad that we all have a choice, and not let envy occupy our minds and eat up our lives!
Deep and well put
So weird that even a beautiful person can still feel insecure about her looks.
its not weird im a beauty pageant girl n other girl i was insecure about she was always in the spotlight n attention n always special but me im jus there cuz they have sympathy or they need me ofc im pretty but they need me becuz of that girl cant go to other activities so we are both muse..
most often beautiful girls feel that way because they receive so many comments on the appearance through life and that taught them that only looks defines your worth.
Not sure if you're a man or a women. But this really happens often in girl's world......
Beautiful people get bullied too. It really doesn't have anything to do with looks other than in teen movies. Bullies target insecure or lonely people. If that person happens to be beautiful the bullies will convince them that they aren't by finding something to pick on wether it is weight, clothes, hair, skin color or anything else.
@@josefinebliss2801 i agree
Envy is just broken inspiration. I always make sure to switch from being envy to being inspired. And for some reason you slowly start to get inspired by someone who is somehow relatable and stop feeling negative about yourself.
I can relate. I had this girl friend, my bestie. We'd do everything together, talking about boys, chatting every day, hangout with each other, dancing. We were both dancers so she convince me to go to the same academy together. That's when things started getting low. I used to envy her, but in a non hostile way. I wanted her to shine but I also wanted to shine like her. I started imitating her, her looks, her clothes, her hair, everything. I used to wish to wake up in the morning and being exactly like her. I didn't notice she wasn't really my friend and she used to envy me in a hostile way. A year after I joined her into the academy she kinda stop talking to me, there's was a boy involved that she liked but I didn't. The thing is that it started all because that boy desired me and she couldn't stand it. She started bullying me, she did that for 3 years. I made myself small, almost invisible so she couldn't hurt me but she knew me so well that she could always find a way to hurt me. She seduce my boyfriend, then the same with my ex and with every boy I liked. She threw shit at me for being myself, for the way I danced, for the way I sang. She also included others an convince them to bully me too cause I was a piece of trash, she was so charismatic that everyone listened to her. I stopped dancing and singing and playing piano. She destroy me. But even then I still wanted to be her, and man I would have stolen her body if could become her. Then the envy consumed me. I used to dream that I dressed and looked like her, danced like her, acted like her. This happened almost 8 years ago and I still can't get over this. The damages of the bullying and not understanding why she would do that it's still overwhelming. I still can't dance or sing or be sociable or act, etc. Because I remember her and what she did. I loved her. I tried to make things right but didn't go as planned. Had to change school. And had a panic attack last time I saw her. The envy still exists, this time is hostile cause I wouldn't hesitate on taking everything away from her like she did to me. Please if you're reading this understand that she made the things I love the most a hell for 3 years and even know I can't run into her without having a panic attack. I don't wanna hurt her. I just want what she has. Wich is friends, a social life, a good dancer technique, the best roles in a play, a dance teacher title and she dances so well that I can't even watch her performance for more than 15 sec. I just wanna have that. In my mind it is what is meant to be mine. Also, I had to be hospitalized for severe depression after those 3 years of bullying and was in recovery until I was 18. Even now, almost 22, I look back and can't stand what was, the way I see it, taken from me. I spent 6 years of my life in hell. Of course I envy her cause she's in heaven with her dancing career. Of course I envy her, I'll do anything to be her and to have what she has. But I honestly don't want to feel this way, the envy took many years of my life and I don't want it to take even more.
P.D.: I'm very thankful that you are reading this, sending you so much love 💕 and I wish you the best
wow this is so much 😭😭😭 I totally undertsand you I was in a similar situation and it's just so awful having to lose important years of your life due to other people and depression and when the realization hits you just get filled with so much anger 😞
@@nggn8382 Yes. It's just not fair that these people hurt you and live their lifes perfectly while you're in pain for years
. thanks for sharing your story I've had my share of difficult people whom I would never want to meet again bc they'd trigger anxiety, although it wouldn't progress to a panic attack. Glad you got the help you needed.
I'm sorry babe. I dealt with something similar accept she was jealous of me but had all of the popularity and stuff. I didn't. She broke my spirit so bad. It started in MS ended in HS, I'm 27 and the mere thought of the emotions I simply ate and attempted to bury brings tears to my eyes. I was in so much pain and all I wanted was to fit in. Kids/teens can be very cruel. Much peace and love in your journey of rising above.
@@DTWAR I feel you sis. It's just so not fair that they hurt you and have no consequences. I once borrow her eyeliner and I felt so pretty when I used it, felt confident. Little I knew she was being a b*tch behind my back. She destroy me deeply
The irony is that the kids who made fun of you were probably doing so because of the very thing that you're talking about... they were jealous/ felt inferior to you, and "lashing out" to compensate for their own insecurities
"Why Pretty Girls May Be Especially Vulnerable to Bullying
...Women are aware of how easily many men are drawn to physically attractive potential partners, so it follows that they are the ones who can have their reputations savaged through gossip as a way of making them seem less desirable as girlfriends, preventing them from establishing a network of friends and allies, and keeping them socially powerless"
"Do human females use indirect aggression as an intrasexual competition strategy?
...Indirect aggression includes behaviours such as criticizing a competitor's appearance, spreading rumours about a person's sexual behaviour and social exclusion. Human females have a particular proclivity for using indirect aggression, which is typically directed at other females, especially attractive and sexually available females, in the context of intrasexual competition for mates. Indirect aggression is an effective intrasexual competition strategy. It is associated with a diminished willingness to compete on the part of victims and with greater dating and sexual behaviour among those who perpetrate the aggression."
@@aaronmarchand999 Yes, this definitely happens! Btw, where did u find this info? I would like to read the rest. :) thank you
@@SeaFlower38 If you search for these headlines you'll find them, I would put the links but will probably get spam-filtered:
"Why Pretty Girls May Be Especially Vulnerable to Bullying"
"Do human females use indirect aggression as an intrasexual competition strategy?"
@@aaronmarchand999 Thank you ! It will make for some interesting reading
So true. And another sad fact is people think beautiful people have it easier in life 😅.....But actually they don't. Jealousy from other women/men and Stalking from men/women......
"every single emotion that we feel is not a sign that we need to change something" This helped me a lot.
I struggle so much in my mind 24/7 all I think about is how much better I could do or better I could be
I feel envy with people that want the same career as me and I feel like they will succeed and I won’t
Right now, I'm in my early 20s and struggling with constantly comparing myself with my peers / “friends from high school”.
I get jealous when my female classmates answer questions well in class and appear intelligent
@@familiab269 lmao just study
same!!
You are on your own journey…and are unique. It’s difficult not to compare. We naturally do it; but one day, you’ll look back and realize that you wasted time being miserable when you could have been happy or taken the time to focus on yourself and accepting the awesome person that you are. ♥️
Insecurity comes from a place of lack.
As soon as we understand and feel into the wholeness that is already within us, all of those other desires naturally fall into place ... or better yet.... lose their importance
FACTS!!!!
And how do you even do that?
@@CherryBerryFashion my same question
something that I learnt to do is to distance myself from friends if I'm feeling insecure, envious, or just in a really bad headspace. This way I dont hurt my friends with possible passive aggressiveness and I dont hurt myself by saying/doing things I regret. While I think this is a good approach, it is so lonely and isolating. I crave companionship and friendship but knowing my friends are happier and living a "better" life then i am right now motivates me to stay away from them and not confide in them so they think I'm happy and living a good life. Its an ego thing and I hate it.
How the hell did you read my mind😭??
Anyways you're a very very good person. Your ability to face your loneliness alone so that you won't hurt others is a very brave thing to do!
I only do this in order to not appear vulnerable or weak around others.
Although I'm dealing with lots of stuffs right now.
Envy, jealousy, hatred towards humanity, inferior, self hatred, hate shallow and materialistic people..... basically I just hate people and the human nature.
I just wan freedom which is death for me.
I cannot live with these heavy pain in my heart.
10. You shall not covet.
always be thankful for what God has given you, because God knows what you need and what's best for you :
Jesus said "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?"
_ Matthew 6:26-27
However, you should ask God for everything,, EVERYTHING. nothing on this earth can't be solved or healed by God that created galaxies, medicine, atoms... everything in 7 days. Ask God for help.
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
Growing up in my community as a darker skinned coloured girl with tight curly hair I was always looked down upon even rejected by some of my own family for the way I looked I remember bathing in bleach when I was 7 because my stepmom told me I was to dark to sit at the table with her family. Long story short the way I was bullied, outcasted really shaped my relationship with how I viewed myself. I thought I healed but today I was sitting around a table with my beautiful, gorgeous friends and ( one friend had LONG straight natural hair, she's light skinned with the perfect ⌛️body, amazing makeup ) everything I wanted to be but could never I was even late sewing in a straight weave that didn't even come out good. The younger me would do anything to have her features but as I sat there envying her I realized a part of me was still very insecure. I want to be a good loving friend I don't want to be the jealous friend I aspire to admire my friends without feeling inferior or insignificant, to understand that " SOMEONE ELSES VALUE DOES TAKE AWAY MY OWN" today I didn't feel at ease in my body, but I Hope that one day I will and you will. ❤️ I comeback to this video as I now feel called to shed light on this topic maybe one day I will create videos of my own so that little girls who look like me never feel the way I have allowed the world make me feel. GO LOVE URSELF🌱 acceptance is peace
Dear Harmony
Yes, it is! Everyone is beautiful in their own way.
Thank you for sharing this 🫂 🩵🫂
I'm like that. Black and poor. But, Differently from u, I envy her carreerr and businesses. I hate that.
Oh girl you are so beautiful
Back in highschool, I used to be close friends with a pretty girl with fair skin. Boys would fawn over her and try to hit on her because of her beauty, and girls would admire her for her fair skin (and beauty). I used to feel so insecure whenever I hung out with her because I’m tanner than her, and I always felt the need to make myself fairer. At some point, I started feeling a little envious because I felt like I wasn’t as pretty as her. Years later, I learned to embrace my skin tone and my own beauty. I no longer feel the need to whiten my skin or to try to “become” prettier. I love myself as I am now, because I am my own person, my own uniqueness, and my own beauty. I know I am beautiful.
Do good, feel good, speak good; and that beauty and glow will radiate out of you, from inside out. That, is something no one can take from you.
Here’s a secret: Gratitude.
Thé thing is I am very white, and lots of people used to make fun of me for how white I am when I was younger-> people liked the tanned look a lot . Then I moved to China and a lot of people complimented me for my fair skin etc. It made me realize that really your beauty is only perceived from a very narrow cultural lens. Always remember we are all creations of God and we are designed exactly the way we were supposed to be in all our beauty ❤
In all honesty, I have found myself(a male) unappealing and frequently compare myself to effeminate men and women. I don't feel good being a dark skin tone even though there are beautiful women with a dark skin tone. Something just isn't right. A massive hole inside me that screams insecurity. I've been stuck for a couple years but hopefully this video will help.
Gratitude is so much more precious and vital to happiness than most people realize.
I am fair skinned and always wish I was tan skinned....it's freeing when we accept ourself as we are! I use to tan in tanning salons and even used self tanners which is skin dye.
"envy always starts with self-comparison". That's really true..
I currently am going through this rn, and it's been horrible. I'm in a classroom where all of my standards are being questioned all the goddamn time. Everyone is beautiful, everyone is smart, everyone is social. And even if I don't think I am ugly, dumb, or even shy; it feels like i'm being asked to be perfect all the time, and it just brings myself down. I compare my looks all the time, I compare my grades, I struggle with deep anxiety thinking everybody secretly hates me. It feels horrible. I hope it gets better the older I become
Hi, did it get any better?
@@zulalalks4962 100%, it took a while but I managed to accept most of my flaws and now I see the worth in myself. It's mainly because I got an autism diagnosis and it came out positive, knowing that the reason I turned out this way can be explained and is in fact normal for my neurological condition was super reaffirming.
I really like that you acknowledged that envy isn't always a sign that something is wrong or needs to be changed, that's very comforting :)
I've been skinny shamed my entire life, and nobody talks about it much. Thanks for this 💛🐞
Its never good enough, so toxic. U either get fatshamed or skinnyshamed thats why we shudnt even care. There are always rotten apples that shame u for the dumbest things
@@nahiedlaila9601 for real because I'm fat shamed.
This happened to me for years and years. I’m turning 40 soon and finally starting to not give a crap what others think about me or how I look. I realize that what matters is me loving who I am. I wish we all supported this idea rather than judging each other’s looks. ♥️
@@alev3500 Im so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. People can be insensitive and rude; and family especially sometimes think it’s ok to comment on your body because they watched you grow up. It’s not ok though. You’re amazing no matter what size, just be sure to stay healthy. Health and wellness matter more ♥️
as someone who’s gone from obese to underweight, i’ve seen the way people treat you at both ends of the scale. it’s so upsetting :( people seriously need to keep their comments about other’s bodies to themselves.
One recent revelation I’ve come to is realizing when people look at us, whether on the inside or the outside, the way they take us in is altered by their own insecurities, past experiences that are unrelated to us, and so many baggage coming from them. So they end up judging us and giving us their opinions. But those opinions don’t represent nor define us. They have more to do with them than with us.
So now I don’t care how others view me. I don’t care what they think of me. And this includes family, friends and partners.
I have finally understood who I am and I have accepted myself. No one can take that away from me.
@@Fernanda00096 people are all in need of growth and not all of them pursue it, hell many are not even aware of how much they need it.
But now that your mindset has changed, you have the power not to let them get to you, in the end it’s them who are crippled by their issues, it’s their lose if they’re being opinionated and judgmental.
What matters is yourself, so keep working on yourself and don’t let them get to you :)
Wow Lana if you're reading this thank you. Your content is judgement free but also makes one reflect on the things that we are ultimately accountable for. I just discovered your work and its helping me navigate these confusing feelings in my mind that has been halting my progress as a person.
I was feeling defeated and depressed. I looked up boost confidence and one of your videos came up. I watched it, then another video, then this one about feeling insecure and envying others. The advice I received from watching your videos, lifted up my spirits. I'm truly grateful that I got to "meet" you today.🙏❤
the worst envy i experience is when the person with the "better" career at a more famous company is actually my classmate or my close friend aka someone that has a similar background as me...:/
Omg same. It makes me feel like I failed at life since I wasn't able to get "there" too
I understand. Same for me
Same with me. That's the worst envy I feel.
Same here.
I even envy you who overcame envying others
I realize how much of a toxic person I am because this was my exact thought...
@@16o6oo dont say that be kind to yourself. nobody is perfect not even me.
underrated comment haha
I feel pretty good about myself now thanks to you, it feels like I became relaxed by deciding that it's ok to be me, and that I'm not someone with nothing and I can begin to love what I already have, which is alot. Thank you Lana!
So honest and open! My mother used to say in my young years that everyone is self conscious and insecure. It was freeing for me as I began to recognize that. We all need to give and receive unconditional love recognizing the uniqueness of each of us.
I think what helped me dealing with envy is changing the way I looked at the people I envied. For example, when I was a teenager and I'd see a really pretty girl that had features that I was jealous of, instead of putting them down, I'd accept it, looked at it in a positive way and I'd try to be happy for the girl in question. And I feel the more you are happy for other people (or at least try to be) the happier you become and the less you compare yourself with them.
I agree
so it means that we should fake it till we make it right?
@@popcornfilm.8316 I mean if you think about it , yes in a way but faking it until you make it helps when it comes to many things such as confidence and self love :)
@@jessicacastro9141 what if you fake it till you become a narcissist
@@purykaranja2006 if you think someone is pretty acknowledge it to yourself “ like wow she’s so pretty she has beautiful eyes”.
This came at the perfect time. I often think that I can’t be super confident if other girls are not jealous of my life or my body. It’s really horrible and I am getting better at it but I definitely envy other girls looks and outfits.
“If you weren’t doing so well, I would feel better about myself” that whole part!! So true! And I think sometimes we do it so much it becomes subconscious. I love the sailboat analogy-great discussion!
yesss! I love this community of people. I love hearing the stories and advice. Very relatable, but motivating to live a happier life. It motivates me to work on myself in a healthy way.
*Once I stopped comparing myself to others I became so much happier*
How does not comparing yourself to others fill the void in your life?
@@mofomartianp once you stop comparing yourself to others you cease to focus on the mainly bad things about yourself and start embracing your positive qualities, and also the positive qualities of the others around you without having the need of comparing yourself since you begin to understand that we're all different and we all have our good and bad things and thats ok. Our differences are what makes us, us. And we're ok just like that. :D
Same you feel happy
Same
One time a man that I liked told me I had boobs, and that women with boobs are like flowers with petals, and that I had no petals. :( I was always jealous of women with boobs!! I got a boob job and I hate that I did it because of men. what helps ME with not being envy now, is that I realize we live in a patriarch society, and that we justify beauty through the male gaze.
F that !!! Now realizing this I support women and feel comfortable calling a woman beautiful. I also realize I think women are super attractive and that I’m not in competition but can admire and flirt with them lol. So….ladies, DO NOT LISTEN to your negative thoughts because most likely it is FROM A MAN.
Preach 📣
And then modern day men wonder why Feminists exist.
We're tired of living to please them...only to be told that we're not good enough🤕
I was considering getting my lips done because my family has made fun of them my whole life and so did many people growing up and now my significant other mentioned to me about my lips as a joke about how small they were…
@@jazleney574 i get made fun of bc mine are big lmao
@@jazleney574 that’s happened to me before not about my lips
But my body. It honestly really sucks that your partner said that. Assuming they know how you feel about them. My partners words stick with me everyday and it’s been 8years 😞
Thank you for posting this and being so honest. It’s brutal. Being a human isn’t easy.
As someone who's still trying to work through my low self-esteem, you are helping a lot of women just from sharing your perspective. Thank you.
Deal with any envy :
- Enlightenment instead of resentment (viewing them as people who help you identify a gap in your life)
- Clarity (what makes you envy => decide what action you should follow )
what you said in the beginning was completely my situation, it's so nice to hear that from someone else too
When we experience envy it’s often a specific thing we envy for example a person’s looks or their job or their relationship etc. usually we don’t envy every single thing about them. So a good thing I tell myself to put things into perspective is “ If I want her body type i would have to swap everything out with her (family, job, friends etc.) and would I want to comprise everything for one thing? Do I still want her body type as bad as before? “. Again, this is something I do and it reminds me of what my life contains and I appreciate it more.
You just reminded me that I once was healing my jealously that way too! Thank you! I will keep that in mind for the future
Wow, that makes so much sense. Thinking like that makes u appreciate yourself and all the things u have. Wonderful, this almost made me tear up🥺
Exactly. I hate my nose- and I have friends that have noses I envy for, but would I trade that for everything else? The answer is no. I may not like everything about myself or my looks, but I still love who I am and what I look like (for the most part).
I struggle so hard with comparing myself whether it’s with looks or talent or RUclips, I feel so inadequate but I’m trying everyday to just accept myself. Wishing love on everyone here ✨
This is my 2nd time watching this video after a year. I still feel envious of others but I’m thankful that this video exists to remind me that I’m not alone and I need to reflect.
You don’t need a man/ woman or materialistic things you need God, and God will give you everything that you need. A man/woman will love you for your physical look/ charisma/ money/ intelligence….. or all the temporary things to fill someone thing that THEY need and will only love you if you meet their needs, but God loves you for who you are, whatever you are and no matter what your past is. In fact, God doesn’t need you, you need Him and He can do whatever He wants anytime to you and to your life, yet He loves you. That’s what you need.
“You shall not covet.”
Exodus 20:17
“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
_ John 8:12
“Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to.”
_ Luke 13: 24
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their lifewill lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
_ matthew 16: 24-25
“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
_ Matthew 10:16
“Be enthusiastic to serve the Lord, keeping your passion toward him boiling hot! Radiate with the glow of the Holy Spirit and let him fill you with excitement as you serve him.”
_ Romans 12:11
I’m here because I have up and down moments of feeling insecure! We have to remind ourselves to be compassionate with ourselves! Imagine how boring the world would be if we all looked the same. I try to remind myself that being alive and breathing is just enough , in reality it should be we got these beautiful ladies xoxo
*Growth and change is painful, but nothing is painful as being stuck where you don't belong.*
Love from a small youtuber 🖤
Honestly I don't understand you talk about productivity but I don't think you are cause you literally on every RUclipsrs channel that too so early.
@@bhumika1060 maybe he is focusing on growing his channel and by commenting on others channels people notice him, hence he is being productive for his goals.. depends what you perceive as being productive ♥️
Love this! I was going to say I’m a small youtuber too but then seen you are actually doing really well (in my opinion) and in which case I’d actually be a minuscule youtuber 😂💙
When I was a lot younger, I remember similar kinds of insecurities. But I think the older you get and the more comfortable you get in your own skin, it’s a lot easier to not give a s**t about what others think or to compare. Ultimately comparison is a losing game - one will always lose if/when comparing against others. It’s important to focus on what it is YOU WANT... because often, without first defining what’s important to you yourself, your envy might be based on what you think you “ought” to have rather than what it is you actually want. Great topic! ❤️
when i was in the sixth grade, i had a toxic envy of this one girl. i was never disrespectful or hurtful to her, nor was she to me. i just always hated seeing her around school so much because i thought i would throw up. i was very jealous of her looks, she was so pretty she just made me want to cry and she made me so physically ill in a jealous way, and i would constantly stalk her socials and ask my friends if they thought she was pretty. everyone knew her, she was athletic, popular, and quite smart. one day, she came up to talk to me. i was so god damn nervous, i could barely speak, and she was the most lovely girl i had ever met. a few months after we became friends, i believed it helped me with my confidence. we are now great friends and i can love and appreciate my self image and worth, while also being friends with her :)
you are lucky she does not really know who you are, you got close to her with flattery, to find better any faults or to see how you can become her. she does not know how you really think of her. she is not here to make you confident by association with someone beautiful and intelligent. thats an inside job.
Simply letting envy pass you like a sailboat. I'm glad you said that at the end. Then we can focus on a real need and feel accomplishment from doing it instead of wasting time on an envy that is just a bug to eat us up. Let it pass by and even be happy that you could do that. Talk good about yourself, and others. It's contagious.
I really enjoyed the video, thanks for sharing!
I was bullied for being skinny too, I would try to eat so much whenever I could but my body would stay the same, I hated myself. I’m now 20 and have finally accepted myself.
The hand thing happened to me too! They’d even put a finger in the circle to show much much more flesh I needed. There’s something peaceful about not being bothered by it. I hope no one will ever experience this, it’s painful
You’re gorgeous
I’m 20 as well and still working on accepting myself but it is getting better
I went through this too…people who literally ask ‘do you even eat’. And I did; I even tried GNC weight gainer shakes because I wanted to gain weight but couldn’t at the time. Hurtful thoughtless words made me hate my body. It took years & years, getting older, and working on my inner thought process to finally love myself. I wish I knew everything I know now back then.
I’m 20 and i hate myself more than ever :(
I'm 23 and was underweight until 1 year ago.
it's actually crazy how many people think they have the right to say to your face that your body is wrong and you need to change..
When you are skinny it's like they don't even realize how disrespectful it is.
Most people wouldn't say that to an overweight person. (they would say it behind their back tho which is wrong too)
People have literally brainwashed me into hating my body just because THEY didn't like it
it's actually ridiculous
Now I have finally gained weight and look 'normal' but I'm STILL scared to lose weight if I don't eat 4 meals a day
And I'm only scared because I don't want other people to comment on that
I hate that
I'm sooo self conscious about my body
My mom was the only one who was nice to me and said that it doesn't matter how my body looks as long as I'm healthy
This was such an eye opener. Recently my gf got her first job( me and her have been looking) and I was upset that she got it first and would tell her how unfair that was because she had a friend help get that job, with this I made her feel sorry for getting that job when I should have been proud and there for her because I would want the same if I were in her shoes. I now understand this better, thank you for this video!
m.ruclips.net/video/R934clijk4A/видео.html
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@@mofumofu2536 Yikes. ~did not pass the vibe check~
I am listening to this video today, which is my 23 birthday. For many years I have indulged with negative thoughts and consistently comparing myself to everyone. I have cried thinking how many years I have spend hating my body and criticising myself for not measuring up. I have made a promise myself yesterday that I will never compare myself to anybody else ♥️ Thank you for the great tips Lana 💕
Lana, I am thankful to you for making this video. I see parts of myself in it. I was too told I was too skinny and made fun of. Thank you, this has really helped.
I dont have friends and it makes me insecure sometimes i even cry and feel bad for myself hopefully i accept it and move on
Same here,wish we could overcome this,,,
I wonder which one is better... Having no friends? Or having friends who aren't right for you? There are people I call friends but they always end up hurting me. I really do love them but being with them can be a torture sometimes. Even after getting hurt countless times I can't get out of this toxic cycle. They probably aren't bad people and like everyone are simply envious... That's the excuse I give myself to forgive them. But it's tiring. I guess I'm just afraid of being alone or more importantly being seen as a loner! I don't want to be seen by others as lonely. Maybe that was the reason I couldn't get out of the cycle. I ranted too much!!
Comparing ourselves to others can be highly damaging. I can relate to the point about being skinny as a kid, had some very harsh comments to deal with too
thin video definitely helped me! all this envy has been my biggest problem in life since i was little so acknowledging it now and understanding that i need to improve my life and work on myself or let go of some things feels amazing. thank you ❤
i really resonate with the end, acknowledging the gap and putting things into motion is a great way of channeling the non-hostile envy
I feel that everyone has been guilty of this at some point in life. Thank you for sharing your advice love.♡
Hello i love your comments, and I am from India, and you?
@@PAWANKALYAN_21 Hey Pawan, from the US - thank you ! ♡
The sad thing is, I know I will start growing mentally when I move out and stop having much interaction with my family. Because no matter how better I get, they always find the way to let me know that I will never change.
Very good video. I really appreciate that you so aptly express the dark thinking that goes along with envy. Thinking of the sort that I'm actually ashamed of... which makes envy that much harder to experience. I'm 37 and still experience envy, although much less than in my teens as you said. It's a very painful, shameful experience and I don't like that it can make you nasty. (Jealousy really does make you nasty) I will be referring to this video again, and I'm glad I found you.
Doing something for you and not for someone else is the biggest takeaway I got from this video.
"A life lived in another mans context is not a life worth living." - miles carter
"Every ideal is a judge". So be careful what ideal/s you choose to pursue. Ensure it is sustainably tenable in the long term so, one, it doesn't run you off the cliff, and two, it actually facilitates your growth in multiple aspects of your existence, physically, physiologically and spiritually.
I rlly love this. Can you explain in simpler terms what “every ideal is a judge” means.
i love her voice its so soothing. even her facial features are so calming and comforting. shes so pretty and beautiful.
Hey Lana, I don't know how but your whole life story resonates with me. Listening to your tale I was just reminded of my school life which kind of became a devastating experience for me and has been haunting me all over these years. But ya, I have been working on myself and striving for my goals actively practicing mindfulness and self love. You are truly inspiring.
When I was in college, i knew a girl who is so smart and beautiful, so much better than me, I was so jealous of her. I even wanted to change myself to look just like her, to behave like her, I was like a stalker wanting to know every thing happened in her life. Then I decided to be better than her, I studied so hard to get good grades, to get the scholarship etc, and actually I became the better one. But you know what I thought I would be happy if the day finally came, but I was not not, I felt really empty. What I have been chasing the whole time was not really what made me happy. I was just blindly jealous and wanted to prove that I am better. I still felt jealous of other people from time to time, but now being aware of my insecurities makes me feel much better, at least I know how to control my response.
P/s: sorry for my poor English, I just wanna let everybody knows that every one feels jealous at some points in their life. Feel free to share your story and learn from others too
Have a good day 🥰
I love the honesty and truth of your words here. How and what is the difference between acting on jealousy or finding something that is truly yours? I am currently stuck and might have built a life based upon jealousy and being better without knowing it. I am unhappy and feeling I ve never let myself just be and also that my current activities dont feel mine. They feel like I created them out of what society tells you to do or other. When is something yours? 🙏
@@sofiehoflack2706 I don't think I am the right person to give advice but let me tell you my stories
First story, I remembered trying to act like her, for example, I was sitting behind her in class, and unconsciously imitated the way she sat, or the way she talked to other people, etc, basically I wanted to be her. What made me realize it's not the right thing to do is when one of my best friends told me (we were having a chat about our first impression of each other) and she told me: "I really like your personality you're so different from my first impression, you look cold and arrogant on the outside but really kind and funny when I got to know you, I think that what makes you unique". That's when it hit me, there are many people out there who will fall in love with your true personality, not the one you're pretending to have.
Another story: one of my friends told me that she used to be jealous of me when she first got to know me ( for the same reason that I was jealous of that girl), but she was so straightforward about it, she told me I was the reason why she tried so hard to study better, to surpass me, etc, I was so shocked, I never thought someone would feel that way about me. I realized she only saw the filtered version of me, and had no idea what I was going through, I were struggling to be someone else just like her. Then I think maybe the girl I was jealous of maybe just like me, you don't know what going on with their life, right?
I know many people there you can get motivation from jealousy but I guess it's not for me, I feel much better being myself, do what I really wanna do. And about your question, I think if you do something out of jealousy, It's not always bad to be honest, but you also need to question yourself, " Is that what i really wanna do, does it bring joy to my life?".
P/s: I guess my English level is not enough to express my thoughts well, but I hope this will help you somehow. And I highly recommend the webdrama A-teen season 1, maybe you can resonate with the "villain" in that show somehow.
"Embrace others beauty without comparing it with yours" 💜
I used to experience theee WORST jealousy/self hatred towards girls that someone I was interested in liked or thought was cute or had a relationship with in the past. The amount of hatred for them/self loathing for myself was so unhealthy, I am so glad that I was able to get over that part of my life. Looking back, it was mostly just a reflection of how unhappy I was in the relationship. I now almost never feel jealous, and am so confident in all of my features and everything I have to offer. Never link feeling validated to people or things, that was the biggest turning point!
I’m so so so glad I hear people who feel the same way as me I’ve always been sooo jealous of any girl who’s prettier then me or just pretty in general it hurts so bad I’m glad we all can relate
this is so well put! there's a huge difference between wanting what someone has and wanting to "take away from them" what they have. i tend to look for friends who are not the type to want to tear someone else down just because they're jealous