how the F** do you love yourself | Healing Diaries Ep5
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- Опубликовано: 5 авг 2024
- all you need is to "love yourself"--
right, but how the f do you do it
healing from depression, documented. Subscribe to the series to grow and heal together❤️🩹 Episode 5
Shoutout to @aliviadandrea for sharing valuable perspectives on self-love and helping me navigate this healing journey❤️
Heal & Grow with me mentally and physically.
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//📖Chapters:
0:00 So... I have no friends
0:45 we're all lairs
2:22 Lie #1: I LOVE my body
3:36 Lie #2 I’m not hungry
5:32 Lie #3 i am “improving myself”
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//🎵 MUSIC
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Sub count at upload: 811,113 
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How do you define self love?❤️🩹
I don’t know
for me, it's doing something that can distract my mind from stress and helps me in some way.
- (window) shopping : helps me categorise which items will be worth the investment
- taking a walk along a different route in my neighbourhood : clears my head
- doing nails or having lunch with my mother : helps me destress and rant
i still am learning to accept my body post-surgery and how skinny/skeletal i look. it's really hard, considering everyone else's curves and *normal* skin, while mine is full of imperfections and blemishes. thanks zoe for the video
It's not necessarily about you look, it's mostly about how you treat yourself.
I consider any attempt to silence voices in my head as self love
Idk yet I’m trying to currently find that
I sit here hungry but I didn't get up because I've learned to not eat when I want to, I learned to ignore it, I've learned to ignore myself, it doesn't stop at me not listening to my body. I allowed people to hurt me over and over and I hated myself for it, I attacked myself because someone thought it was ok to hurt me. I'm still learning to look back at myself and not be mad at her a year ago, 3 years ago, 5 years ago because looking at it now they world taught me to be like this. Now I have to undo all of that but I'll just take my time
You are worth so much more than what others treat you. I hope that you can allow yourself to eat and learn to love yourself, stay strong ❤
It’s ok to hate yourself. It sounds odd to say that, but when we hate that part of ourselves that holds that thought and the feelings that come with it, we ignore what it is actually communicating to us...Maybe it’s a fault of the English language, but the feeling that we can be more than what we are in the present, is a normal part of the human experience. It’s an overwhelming part of the human experience. It’s a part of our experience that we were also never taught how to handle...we are all capable of more than we are...self care isn’t #instaworthy lol, it’s a long journey to learn to handle the overwhelming experience of knowing we have a brain that can feel and sense the past, the present, and the future simultaneously, but a body that can only act in the present...Next time you have the feeling of being ‘not enough’, ‘hating yourself’, ‘ignoring yourself’, I want you to know that there is more to that thought than meets the eye, and rather than inflicting pain or ignoring your body, realise that the deepest parts of you are letting you know how truly valuable you are to the world, and that wanting the best parts to be realised within yourself and others is a true virtue. The pain is there because it wants you to act in the world. But it is through kindness, not hate, that will bring that part of the future into the present. It’s ok to stumble, screw it up, and not get it right the first 274 attempts, you will realise the best within you, and acknowledging and honouring the pain of the past is all part of the process and a journey you are clearly on, your honesty shows me theres a future world worth looking forward to. Sending love from Australia 🇦🇺😊🌸, you’ve got this beautiful 😊
good luck i really do hope u get there. DONT GIVE UP :) God loves u
:( I'm so sorry. I deeply feel this and I know it hurts like hell. I'm here is you want to talk.
@@LeeMuayThai Thank you for these kind words💕
I agreed with the fact that teens are easily influenced by the beautiful models, may they have any type of body. They are going through changes and thus they often have insecurities over their image and a view towards perfection of one's image. They always have the mentality of 'i am not enough', and that's why there is big influence of beauty.
I think the concept of "self love" should just come down to - Doing things you want to do that won't damage your mind and body. - You shouldn't have to force yourself or try and convince yourself that you love and accept yourself, nor should you feel as though you have to change yourself for others. So long as you aren't purposefully damaging any aspect of your health for validation, that should be the goal of self love. I might not like how my body looks, but I am no longer damaging it through my ED to try and change it and for me, that's self love.
^^^^ this....self love does not mean doing self destructive things and getting a "Yasss queen" from random people on the internet for being destructive. Pleasures in the moment is not self love. Building yourself up to being a better person, working on your own toxic traits and making a impact in your own life (and others if you want) is the ideal imo.
You know whats insane? - TW: weight - but i used to starve myself, but then i started eating every time i got hungry, i actually ended up losing fat. like its wild! nourishing your boy is so important. I used to starve and not eat when im hungry, and my sleep was so bad because i was always hungry. my sleep got better. i felt ...happier??? i dont know why i commented but please just eat enough everyone okay?
Yes this is scientifcally proven! The metabolism slows down the less you eat, and anything you eat after that will be preferably stored immediately as fat by the body, which is why starving is quite factually contradictory to losing weight. The most effective way to lose weight is truly listen to the body/eat 3 regular meals a day. It is quite simple, yes. But doing that for real when you have suffered from an ED for so long is of course hard.
So hard, and I hope each and everyone of us once gets to that point where we are able to eat normally!
I have been sitting on my bed in the dead of the night watching yt videos because I was too hungry to sleep, got up to have a late dinner after reading your comment thanks for helping this 17 year old ❤️❤️
"You aren't supposed to fit dresses, dresses are supposed to fit you"
Shoutout to @aliviadandrea , @ hannahwarling and ALL of YOU for navigating this healing journey with me❤
You’re so cool
Girl please tell us about your karate past. As a competitor in the sport i was SHOOK 😍😍
You're my inspiration 💜 ILY
Zoe I want you to know that you are gorgeous no matter what. Everyone is, it shouldn’t matter what others think. Please remember this, if you even see it, anytime you feel anything less than gorgeous
Bestie Taylor summed it up in a nutshell 😂 I love how honest and transparent you are in these sit down videos I always learn or relate to something. You’re doing the lords work and I’m just happy to be here 😅❤
I just wanted to let you know that God cares about you. Even if it doesn't feel like it, He really does. His greatest act of love was sending Jesus to die for our sins. Because of that, we don't have to suffer in the same way Jesus did and we have new life and new relationship with God. You can into this so easily by believing in the miracle and blessing of what Jesus did for you :))
I had a breakdown last night over hating myself and my body so I really needed this video. Thank you so much Zoe for uploading on RUclips. your videos are always so healing
I think a big part of self love is turning the internal conversations around. Step 1. Notice when you are thinking down on yourself. Step 2. Smile at the silliness of what you were thinking. (I find that laughing at my own self demoralizing thoughts lessons the hold and the emotional reactions) Step 3. Think of something nice about myself that isn’t based on appearance or material things.
i second this!! it also helps me if i imagine someone else in my life saying the negative things i think to me, i would immediately call them out or cut them off for being rude to me, so why should i allow that kind of talk from myself!
I appreciate your effort to help, but I think I'll never get rid of my self-hatred, it's always there, like a fuckin leech sucking away at my will to live. I hate it so much, but it hates me even more.
Love your videos! Someone who helped me overcome caring about what others think is Hwasa from Mamamoo. “If I do not fit into this generations standard of beauty, then I will become my own standard.”
„Think about how your mom would encourage you to improve but loves you regardless of your weight and success“ ah. that‘s where the roots of the problem lie for me. My mom was the most prominent person to call me fat when my body was going through the change from a slim child‘s body to a by all means healthy looking adult figure.
This perspective is a nice idea, but instead of putting someone else‘s love into the focus, I‘d say: think about how YOU would encourage your friends/loved ones to improve but love them regardless of their weight and success. And love yourself like a friend.
Did you cut her off? I’m sorry, but she hates you and she’s a terrible person.
@@melodysafo5437 I believe that hate is a very intense word, meaning to dislike intensely or passionately; feel EXTREME aversion for or extreme hostility. I would refer that she was toxic about that point, of judging her kid and saying that she s fat. But i cant judge that she hate her child because of that. My father was fatphobic with me and my brother, but that doesnt mean he hates us. I accepted that was his toxic self defense mechanism he develop to survive with my grandma. The best solution for me was to comunicate how i felt and open my heart. I cannot depend on my father to make me feel beautiful and worthy of my own love, even though it was a long way to reach this healthy self steem
@@melodysafo5437 Thank you for your empathy! My mom didn’t and doesn‘t hate me, I think. I believe she has a lot of insecurities of her own and when I didn‘t grow to be „the pretty girl“, got some baby fat rolls (partially because I loved cookies very much) and wasn‘t really interested in any sort of sport to lose this fat (i was never really overweight though), she probably projected those insecurities on me. Successfully, at least for my teenage years. No bad intentions, just her own insecure mind. So no, I didn‘t cut her off, but I „cut off“ her influence on my self-image.
@@melodysafo5437 my mom is also commenting about my appearance too ! thankfully I'm not gaining weight rn so in that aspect she leaves me alone
Thank you for talking about this Zoe. I was always known as the skinny kid back then but people kept nagging to me about how I should eat more and stop going on diets, when in reality, I just had a fast metabolism.
I developed unhealthy habits just to gain weight and fat, eating a lot, but ended up stressing about my body thinking I couldn't handle it anymore.
I ended up in a healthy shape, that didn't last long as people still commented about me being skinny.
Ended up having a binge ED and not sleeping well, and eventually to unhealthy body.. Slowing down my metabolism and got mental health issues.
Now I'm trying my best to get it all back, but to be fair it was my fault to be driven by their words that would harm me.
And what hurts more is that the people who keep commenting about that made a whole presentation about body positivity. They did the same to my friend.
Same here!!!
You can't completely blame yourself. You can blame those who said those unkind words. Don't beat yourself up about it
Omg people keep calling me "too skinny" all the time and ask my mom if I'm sick or something. Truth is I just have a fast metabolism unlike my sisters. U just made me realize I don't wanna conform and potentially regret it. Don't ever blame yourself though, their judgemental words alone are to blame.
Goes to show, you can be insecure about something that someone would kill for, everyone wants to swap parts for each other rather than loving the body your in, so all these trends and body standards are all dumb when u rlly think about it, because by the time ur toned like a model or gained weight , society has already moved onto its next trend and you’ll never feel fulfilled if u change yourself to fit in with society and a lot of people realise that when it’s too late after suffering for years
@@Livvv_liv Now I just want my old body I was comfortable with, and to be healthy. Rather than to fit in with society's standards.
[TRIGGER WARNING - SELF HARM (not graphic)]
I am five. I stay at home all afternoon after school, and all day when I'm on vacation. I have to be silent or I might wake up my caretaker, who naps all afternoon, and she will spank me if I wake her up. I make and eat my food silently and my TV is always on to make some noise. My brother stays at my naighbor, but I am not allowed there to avoid disturbing them. I eat to pass the time.
I am ten. Four boys of my class decide to bully the fat girl with rebellious hair. I cry to my caretaker and she yells at her that if I wasn't so fat, they wouldn't do that. I start looking up magazines (there was no internet at this point) and tips on how to lose weight. I tried the milk glass diet, the water and apple diet, fasting. My doctor says I'm going through an early puberty because of how fat I am, and that I have to follow their diet -- which I did, but they didn't believe me, because I didn't lose any weight.
I'm eleven and I spend a month only eating a chicken breast, an apple, and a glass of milk a day. I didn't lose a gram.
I'm fourteen and I stop talking to a friend because she tells me she purges everything she eats.
I'm sixteen and I'm having panic attacks because a boy likes me and I like him back, but if that's happening, then I'll have to kiss him and I'll want to show him the body I am so ashamed of, and that puts me in a spiral that I can't process, so I push him away. The same boys from when I was ten still make me cry at school.
I'm twenty something and a boy starts liking me. It can't be true, right? I'm a bad person, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm boring. There has to be something wrong with that boy. I push him away too.
I date a girl. I date another guy. They both hide their connection to me from the world, they both are jealous and demand all of my attention, and suggest I lose weight, I change my hair, why don't I wear contacts instead of glasses? I start trying to change myself again. No diet has worked yet.
I'm twenty five and I've been in the hospital for a month. I text my therapist to send cancel our appointment and she refers me to a nutrologist. I decide to go.
I'm twenty five and I am eating full plates of food every three hours -- beans, leafs, meat, carbs -- and I'm losing weight so fast, it gives everyone I know a scare. I'm healthy, my hair changes, my energy changes. Turns out I was never fat, I was swollen because of food intolerances messing with my hormones, including insulin and estrogen, all that stuff. I radically accept myself. My body shifts and changes with my newfound chronic illness, but my priorities change. After a month in the hospital and so many fucking bad spots on the way, I still care about how I look, but I grow to care more about how I feel.
I'm twenty nine now. Still recovering. Still oscillating between swollen and not swollen. Sometimes I look three months pregnant and there's nothing I can do. I feel better, though. I'm managing my health. The illness took all of my focus from external expectations to inner management.
And now, at twenty nine, I look at my five year old self, my ten year old self, my thirteen, fifteen, every selves I have ever had, and I hug them all with the tenderness they deserve. They were perfect the way they were, and they were trying their best, and no one can ask more than that. And I know that in five years, I will look at my mistakes and insecurities from twenty nine and I'll hug them too, like a mother would do to a child. Everyone, in that sense, is a child deserving of tenderness, so I spread it around as much as I can without disrespecting myself. In and out. I'm repairing my relationship to food and to myself, and the other areas of my life are somewhat improving because of that. There's no endgoal here, I just wanna enjoy the process of life as much as I can, and all of my conscious choices are towards bringing me peace.
Loving myself to me means seeing myself as the vulnerable being in need of tenderness that I am. Being both the mother and the infant, and forgiving them both for their faults too. Not believing all of my thoughts, but rather talking to myself as I wish people had talked to me when I was a kid, even if at first I'm just mimicking a good parent figure from a show; and forgiving my meaner, judgemental side as something that is trying to protect me, but that only knows how to hurt me in the process. Taking a step back when things get too bad for me to handle, protecting my energy and balance.
Loving myself is trying to understand myself, so I can do better by myself. Knowing myself deeply not only to accept the shadow but to stop disrespecting myself and my boundaries on accident because I didn't know them. And also knowing that no one knows it all, no one has anything figured out, and all paths are singular. I'll try to carve my own in the way that best aligns with the way I wanna live -- wholeheartedly, peacefully, mindfully, connected and secure (core values I found after a 400-core-value exercise with my therapist, but it's free on the internet)-- and do my best to enjoy it, good and bad. While I'm connected to myself, I don't feel like I have anything to fear anymore. That's the closest to peace I have ever been, and I am grateful I got here, and for all the help I had. I know it'll get bad and it'll get better, but now I trust that even when I'm down and desperate, I don't think I'll cave and try to off myself again, ddirectly or indirectly. I think that while I'm able to be patient, I'll eventually go back to tenderness again, and then I can go through anything. This trust is everything to me.
💚💚
I was chubby during high school, nobody told me to lose weight, not even my thinnest cousin in the same grade. I was a little uncomfortable of how I looked back in the day, currently I weight even more but now I'm more aware of eating what my body needs and I do yoga. Last checkup with the nutritionist the big win was that my blood pressure and my heart rate (rest) drop a few numbers, for me that's more important than the fat I lost.
I'm so proud of you ! You are healthy, this is healthy !
I love you Zoe, I'm so glad you're being yourself and talking about things people won't talk about
I genuinely love this video and the comfort it makes me feel. I liked the end especially because I rarely see people in my own life or online say you can love yourself even without having a significant other, especially in a society where it seems everything is about love and your life is proposed to be meaningless without it and the validation it brings…
You frame yourself so beautifully. Your clothing and makeup choices give you such an elegant vibe while preserving a sense of fun.
I used to think I am merely worth what people treat me and still do sometimes. I'm trying to not do that but some days people are just so harsh and they expect you to be perfect but I'm only human. Sometimes I feel bad and sad because I'm too worried about people and don't have the mental space to take care of myself. I put in so much effort for people just to get treated poorly and blame it all on myself. I realised I'm treating myself very badly and I'm trying to heal from all the trauma.
My only issue with my body is that I can't wear what I want to wear, I'm into fashion and love to go extra on my outfits but most looks I want to wear just don't work when I gain weight I try not to care but it's really hard
It's definitely gotten better in the last 20 years but it's super annoying not having enough selection. I went to five malls trying to find a prom dress in high school. If it fit my top it didn't fit my hips, if it did fit my hips it didn't fit my top 🙄 None of the pretty dresses in the junior section fit so I had to go to the women's section and all they had were these "old lady" dresses that were mostly ugly patterns in dark colors with random sequins. I don't care how old you are or what size you are, you want to wear nice clothes. The fact that the fashion industry used to think (and a lot of times still does!) that every woman stops at size 14 is so disrespectful. Even if you can find some cute stuff nowadays they will overcharge 😒
Same- I'm trying to find my body shape too because right now the chubby rectangular shape I have is different
I swear to god zoe your videos make me soo inspired and you pick topics which people generally neglect to talk about. I'm glad you do this and you are not afraid to speak up
Alivia speaking a loving truth 🤩🤩🤩 I love everything that Zoe and Alivia had to say in this video, it’s all so lovely and encouraging to value yourself as a human being, now just a body.
I really felt the part about Karate since I’m a competitor in the sport. I personally never struggled with any issues myself but alot of my friends would go on extreme diets before a competition since they weigh you in front of EVERYBODY. I would often hear karate teachers complaining and commenting on other peoples weights. And remind you these people are teenagers starting from age 14.
Zoe I love you and you such a source of inspiration and comfort to me. I'm 15 and in my last year of high school. And when I'm older I hope to grow into someone like you. As you have taught me so much about myself and how I can move forward from that.
I am so grateful for you making this video Zoe, I just woke up reminiscing about self-love and suddenly you posted this video,, such a destiny indeed
I hate how now a days society makes it look like the only way you glow up, can love yourself and be worthy, accepted and liked is if you look skinny,lose weight, get shredded and have abs.
I know it’s not easy, but letting go all the superficial shit has really helped me out with my self-esteem. I’ve been working on it since I was 14-15 years old, and now I know I love my body not because of how it looks, but because it has been very kind to me. Even if there was a moment of my life when I didn’t take care of myself, my body still managed to stay alive and healthy without deseases or trouble… and that’s all i need. Your body gives you health which gives you time… and if you use it well, you can achieve your dreams.
Thank you Zoe, you are really inspiring and you’ve been always open my eyes to choose a better lifestyle with balance. I follow you since 1 year ago and now I’m feeling happy with my body and accepting myself. Thank you for all 💓
I love your friend's advice. There are days that I hate how I look and I wish I was skinnier and had a bifferent body type but I also have days that I love how I look. On days that I don't love how I look, I am even more greatful for the journey I'm having with fashion because I can put on an outfit and still think that I would look at me if I were walking down a street and that little confidence boost always makes me feel better about my insecurities. When alivida said she thinks about her body with unconditional love I realized that more than just being ok with how I look, there a way of thinking that I can strive for that people actually have.
I swear your content raised me better than anyone ever did
This video got really deep and emotional but i love you. And i know i don't currently 100% love myself or I'd be lying but i know i want to try. And we're all here with you in your journey! Try not to listen to the hate because you a beautiful individual with a golden heart
We probably think that we will be happier when we have that "something else". Just like the concept of the grass is greener on the other side. Inner beauty is what defines us and is what truly makes us happy and feel fulfilled.
Of course it's necessary to make sure we take care of our bodies from a health perspective, but just know that passion, sincerity & gratitude always shines through, and that there is no shape or size that can define that. ❤
Self love has so many Forms for me self love is being able to stand infront of a mirror naked and actually being able to look at myself being able to smile and compliment myself treat myself being able to take care of myself ( yes this also includes going to the gym because health is important) make my nails and hair Dressing up nicely all those things include swlf love in my opinion being able to enjoy life and after a good nights sleep wake up and being able to look yourself into the mirror and just smile it took me a long time to actually be able to do that even now i still struggle sometimes and have doubts but thats normal :) life without struggle is a life not worth living
Your videos are slay 🔥 Honestly, they’re soooo good! Love the way you edit, constantly capturing my attention and wanting to listen to everything you share 🙌🏻
Zoe to be honest this is so true people just need to know to love yourself
Just wanna say even tho u probs won't see, I truly do appreciate and value the videos u make. Idk why but they're not like other "self love, love urself" videos. Ur so clam abt it but ur delivery is everything and the deeper meaning behind ur words. I seriously binge ur vids when I feel down knowing that they will make me feel confident and better
I have a similar body type to yours, so I understand what you have been going through. But also just want to share that finding someone with a similar body type as me, has made me feel a lot more comfortable with myself! ❤ I always see you wearing these super cute outfits with so much confidence and happiness, and it inspires me a lot to try for those styles myself. In the past I wouldn't have been able to, but when I see you do it, I feel the courage to do it too! ❤And I think you look amazing!
Watching the 3rd ad without skipping cuz I love the girl and that's the only way I can support her.
Zoe, keep in mind. I love all versions of yourself. All. 💖
Early!! And I really love all your comentary videos! The themes are important and you analyze them well, I feel like I'm growing more with this channel!
This is the most well informed video I've ever seen .I genuinely appreciate the efforts you put at making this. the biggest fear that i at least suffered from people attack you mercilessly for being yourself and looking thin saying gain some weight (like it is my fault) I fought at times but it is really hard to handle such comments even from your closed family . right now am way better and no longer care about others ..
i love your content so much, im in a weird and rough spot that involves alot of low self esteem, and videos like yours always help
hey, a video about eating habits of older women (mothers and grandmas ) and how their eating habits impact their kids would be cool. I just now from my family, my mothers relationship to food and body impacted mine a lot. ❤
I’m struggling with anorexia and bullimia, but I’m always lying to myself. I either tell myself I’m not hungry, the food is making me sick, etc. I’m currently learning how to feel full and not THINK I feel sick, the struggle is immense. I hope I can learn to feed myself and feel healthy ❤
I've starved myself countless time. I always tell myself not to eat so I could look better because when I was around like 12 or 14 I use to get bullied and made of fun a lot. They always comment on my weight, on my body like why are so fat you, how much you eat, why you eat so much etc etc. These words affected me so much. That my only goal was (is) to be skinny. Some time people don't know or understand how much their words could affect someone, they might said them casually and forget them afterward but that person will remember it like forever. I've hurt myself enough because of people opinions and comments.
Wow, Zoe. I'm sure you put a lot of effort into this video, and I thank you for that. It's raw and amazing!
Found you recently, and you are for real one of the best RUclipsrs I’ve watched. I’m loving your videos!!
I find it so insane looking back at old photos of myself. I was in a toxic relationship which made me not want to eat as much, even though I'm a huge foodie, that with exercise + having a very skinny partner resulted in me being quite slim. In those moments though, I never felt good about my body. I thought I was "thick" but my tummy wasn't toned enough and my but wasn't big enough. I thought my face was chubby, even though it had slimmed out alongside the rest of me. I felt big because my normal sized toned legs look huge next to this boy's very very skinny legs. He told me if my butt was any bigger he wouldn't like it.
It's your environment.
I now have a partner who enjoys eating and cooking as much as me and is also passionate about health. He encouraged me and gave me advice on how to build muscle better and told me he would love me and find me attractive at any size. I'm now 7 kg heavier than before. I look at myself, and my butt would've been my dream ass but it's still not good enough. I'm curvy, but I could be more toned, more stronger and curvier than I am. My face is chubbier, yet I see myself as pretty. It's a whole range of complex emotions that distort how you see yourself.
Currently, I dislike and like a lot of parts of myself. I think it's important to remember how you used to see yourself vs how you see your past self now. How will you see your old body in a few years? You'd probably think you were insane for seeing it the way you do.
That was my mini rant. Essentially, things aren't what they're perceived to be and there's always outside factors that dictate how you view yourself.
These videos are unlocking things I didn't know existed in myself because they have been suppressed for so long.
Zoe, yesterday was my bd , and went out with my friends(they are couple) , and I just felt so bad about myself. I was smile but it was so painful , I just feel myself not interesting at all. Bad and boring person what chould be better? But you saved me with your video about no friends. I still remember your answer to my comment about ugly egg, and I was so happy to feel some kindness to me. Thank you, zoe. You're an amazing girl. I wanna , no, I'm gonna be like you. Sometimes it can be hard to be humen, but it's worth it.
I truly apreciate you making all these videos they actually help
I love this video and I love how u said that we can love ourselves and we determine our own worth, not someone else
I seriously appreciate your videos! I recently subscribed and each video I’ve been watching so far, is filled with great content. I appreciate how you put everything together. Thank you for all your time and effort!
This is seriously what I needed to hear. Thank you girl.
I love your videos, and this one made me cry for the good, because it made me relive all the bad memories and thoughts but it also made me relive times I made a better decision for my soul and realise that Its a journey not a destination of self-love. Acceptance of oneself completely is really important but really hard as well, you just either wanna love yourself for the strengths you have or just hate yourself for the flaws you have, but forgetting both strengths and flaws are what complete you; how could you only love or try to love half of you.
Acceptance is crucial but it takes time, even when it’s your own self and own body.
Just discovered your channel, binged a LOT of it. It really helped me so much, I needed it more than I thought. Thank you
"how the F** do you love yourself" It's very simple, I don't!
But omg those comments are so nasty and rude. You have literally my dream body (that I could never have due to my body shape and my morphology).
I think everything looks fantastic on you, every outfit we see in this video. You are gorgeous!
It’s really easy to get hyper fixated on your appearance. Just yesterday I had the weirdest anxiety about people seeing me in public. All I wanted to do was stay in my dorm where no one can see me because any time I decided to step out I felt like I was gonna burst into tears
your body is amazing! thank you so much for this series
My grandma is quite the opposite. Here I am, started exercising everyday, eating healthier, and this week I got home tired and starving and she just looks at me and says I should stop eating, cause I’m getting fat and soon my clothes won’t fit, when I’ve been getting only skinnier with time. I immediately lost appetite, why she feels the need to rule over my body ever since I was a small child is something I don’t think I’ll ever understand
I really appreciate your videos Zoe
My problem with self love started about two years ago when I started gaining weight.For two years I started and stopped with workouts.At one point started starving myself to look like pretty,skinny asian girls.But then it kinda clicked in my head:you cannot change your body to a new one.I stopped counting calories and judging my body.Now I workout to be stronger ,not slimmer.And as much as youtube made it worst,it also helped me gain more confidence and get out of that dark place.If somebody read all of that,I hope you get out of that dark place and feel better.You can do it!
Thank you for this!!! Love your videos! From South Africa!💛💛💛
I only just discovered your channel because of the kpop video and decided to look into your content more and GIRL I am not dissapointed! Thank you so much for sharing, this is so helpful to see❤️
Zoe I so love u and I wanna say thank u for everything 🥺🥺
Oh and am the first to comment..... Am someone who lives in zambia (africa) and always waits for yo vids.
i’m actually proud of myself today, don’t know why i’m saying this in here but okay lol. I struggle a lot with guilt whenever i eat and i usually eat 3 times a day (at 10 am, 1 pm and 5 pm) and stay under 800 calories. I can never eat past 6 pm otherwise i feel unworthy but i hurtled my leg and couldn’t get up to eat, i barely ate all day and slept in the afternoon to avoid the pain. I woke um at 7 pm starving and almost fainting but every time i went to the kitchen and grabbed something to eat i’d feel guilty and put it back. Around 10 pm i couldn’t really take it anymore and after trying to eat like 3 times but feeling to bad for it i finally managed to eat a bit of fettuccine that my dad made. I am feeling bad now but i’ve been trying to recover for so long and i’m feeling so proud that i ate a feat food after 6 pm!!!! I hope i can get better and accept my body one step at a time because eating disorders are truly heartbreaking. I’ve harmed myself so many times cus i thought i looked too fat and didn’t deserve to live because of it. It’s really sad and it’s something i don’t wis for anyone. It harms your body but principally your mental health so much and i’m really scared that i won’t ever be able to fully recover. If you’re reading this and is or know someone who is struggling, ask for help or offer help. I know it’s hard but it’ll be worthy. A healthy mental state and healthy relationship with food and self image is WAY better than achieving an unreachable goal. Always remember that you’re worthy and perfect just the way you are so please be kind to yourselves. Lots of luv💗💗
Hey Zoe,
I don't comment on videos or use social media much because it's not my thing but I felt like I wanted to write something for you. Last two years were particularly rough on me mentally and I started to focus on self improvement and yours and Alivia's glow up journal videos had big motivational and comforting effect on me (and they still are sort of comfort videos for me). Even tough I recognize that all the choices made in those videos were not suitable for me or something I would recommend to do (as someone who has a degree on health sciences), I enjoyed watching your journey of improvement and learning and how your personality shines through. I don't think my mental health and capability to love myself would be the same now if it wasn't for your channel so thankyou for that. I hope your future is filled with health and happiness.
Also greetings from Finland :) .
The same day as my “friend” told me I loved pregnant in my new dress I saw this video, you made me feel so much better, thanks!
I can't believe people dare to write such mean comments, that makes me so angry!! As always I'm impressed on how your are so relatable to me: finally I don't feel like the only one, struggling with self acceptance and self love while being sorrounded by girls with perfect bodies and almost flawless skin... I don't comment very often cause 1 it's not an habit of mine and 2 I would probably repeat things you just said and praise you every time!
I loved the original title, as someone who has been called flat all her life, I found it cruel, but incredibly relatable
Girl you look wonderful, thank you for this Video
I just wanna say that I loveeeeeee your videos. Keep going you amazing woman 💗
Accepting the full you while striving to be a better you ❤❤
Zoe are SO encouraging thank you.🤍🤍
Just got really stuck in ED thoughts today… the release of this video came at a perfect time haha
It is also important to remember, not everyone can just eat whenever they body wants to eat. Some are food addicted, sugar addicted, bingers, it is very unhealthy to overeat, just as it is to undereat.
If I eat what I want whenever I want, I easly overeat and become overweigh and feel sick.
I also find that in the internet there are two extremes: fat activist saying its okay to eat 5 whole cakes and 45 cheesburgers if your body craves it or the ones who eat only a few veggies and a milkshake a day while working out and call it enaugh for an average person. Why do I only see those extremes? I think we should always say that you should eat enaugh but not too much, not just "eat when you are hungry" cause girl, I got issues and Im hungry even when my body doesnt need food anymore
I'm just going to honest I'm not happy with with my body and the whole love your body at any size just doesn't work for me I'm really glad others are doing better with this mindset. But I accept my body how it is but I love cos it helps me but I don't ✨ love it ✨ I want to work on my self to be better. To me self love is working out, reading, walking, keeping my mental health in check, taking care of myself. Just some random thoughts 💕
I feel if you are critical of yourself to rise above the criticism of others, it will never be achieved for we get attacked for our bodies, our thoughts, our beliefs, et al. So when you analyze self love, I feel the first step is always self acceptance or acceptance that this is the vessel you inherited for your life journey so weigh the pros more than the cons and work on achievable things. Also accept if there's any cosmetic issues you just feel you can't get by, seeing you love fashion, you know there's a practice for it like plastic surgery and the like to use if you feel it will improve upon your self confidence. Like I could be your ideal guy, and you'd be fine by me in the looks department without criticism, but I wouldn't change how you feel about yourself so make it about you and not others always - as in battle and silence the inner critic in you because that's the one living rent free in your head (but if you start a relationship with that mindset, you might have a physical one living rent free next to you just the same). You're clearly beautiful so you need to also allow that to be true in your mind and remember those critics who leave or make comments to hurt you are obviously ruled by their own inner critic and are likely wrestling with some major demons - so just say "not today Satan."
I just want to say to you how good and interesting are your videos!
Go to 1M❤️❤️
You are so inspiring! I love your videos, and Iv'e always found you so beautiful.
For me self love is a journey. When you are with someone too often you start to notice their flaws, but you don’t tell that to their faces. Because you love them. But you hear those thoughts all the time about yourself. When you mess up you tend to bring yourself down, you think that you are worthless, clumsy, etc. would you say this if the person you love did something wrong? For me self love is looking in the mirror and genuinely like the person that is looking at me, it’s the fact that even when somebody told me they didn’t love me, I respected that and didn’t consider if I am worthy of love. Because I am! I learned that I have to treat myself like somebody dear to me. Would I do this to a friend? Would I say something like this? Would I want them to feel this way? If the answer is no then I won’t do it. You need to talk to yourself in a positive way. You need to be kinder. Remember the little child that you once were. Would you say this to a little child? Sending everyone who hurts a hug ❤ hope we’ll all heal someday and that we enjoy the journey
im not underweight but really skinny. so i get fat shamed and skinny shamed. my friends call me flat and twiggy. then i get called fat. and when i wear shorts i get made fun of for my scars. i know i will never love my body but i just want one thing, if people werent like this i feel like there would be so many confident people. please dont be that person to make some severely insecure. please.
That's it. I'm becoming an influencer on the side and I'm making videos like Zoe. More people need to hear this
You are so very wise !!! You r my biggest rolemodel 😍❤❤
Wow, this video is so extremely well made! Love the message, too
I'm just loving this serie
I feel with every video I see of you that I would love to just talk about things with you just because of the outlook it seems you have on things and life in general, calm, open minded and reflective/reflexive(?) sorry not my first language, you get the point hahaha
Younger generations have alot to learn. If you spent less time wanting someone to like you or give you a thumbs up. You might discover more about yourself. Quit making others 1st and start putting yourself 1st. Not in a narcissistic way either. Good day hope this helps
The music choice in this video is impeccable.
Thank you for everything 😊❤
Omg u were sitting with alivia she is one of my fav youtuber💜
Love your content Zoe 🥰
I used to not care about how my body looked like but now that I’m 17 I care so much and I recently learned about body dysmorfiya. I literally can’t look at myself in the mirror, I eat less and get nauseous because I don’t eat. I don’t feel pretty, I feel disgusting.
I've Bern there too. All I can say is it gets better. For me, I had to manage anxiety an accepted it was there. I accepted I don't know how to manage stress and learn ,this helped my appetite alot. Its a roller-coaster, but once you start you get better. Added 8 kgs in one year. Anything is possible❤
"It's possible to accpet yourself and strive for improvement."
People say accept and love yourself, but how? How do I stop my perfectionist mentality from making me miserable when I try to love myself.
I'm not insecure about my body, but about other things. Every time I start something or learning, I get mad at myself for failing. I feel like everyone else does it effortlessly while I always fail.
Your vidoes give high fashion
Vlog video commentary
I dunno it feels like new York
I dunno how to explain it
It’s beautiful , insightful and creative ❤❤❤
I redefine self acceptance, it means you can accept yourself and change out of love not fear.
This is a great video I relate with this way too much :(
I didn't care about my body when I was younger, but now because I'm getting close to the 30's my body became fat easily and get to the weight I had it's hard. I'm trying to stop eating sugar and fast food because this isn't good at all, but of course I need to get into exercises to help, but being hungry all day is getting me crazy. I ate a sweat right now and I started to feel guilty after eat it, and I swear I thought to induce the vomit to not have this in my body, but I wanted a sweat food so much. I still fat, I don't like any clothe on me, just the black ones because don't show my belly and every single day I wish I could be more thin, high and active in sports, so I could wear a lot of beautiful clothes.
I never really comment on youtube and honestly i don't expect this to reach you, but i genuinely want to thank you for the work you do into influencing a healthy lifestyle and diet for people that struggle with body image.
I've been struggling with body dysmorphia and EDs for years now, sometimes i barely remember when it started being part of my daily life - maybe the day i stopped being a child aswell. Lately it started skyrocketing and i was struggling so bad i started having daily crisis whenever i had to eat, counting calories for hours and hours and limiting myself to the extreme because i was so afraid of gaining weight; i even stopped enjoying my hangouts with people because i was anxious of the food i was eating whenever i was out of my house and strict control.
I found your video by chance, and after that day it was as if something clicked in me, i don't know why but the way you talk about food and enjoying it as part of our necessities and well-being made me realize how deep the hole of my ED got, and how nothing really matters this much if i can't feel good with myself in the first place. Your talks about metabolism were life changing for me, i suddently started listening to my body and my cravings stopped, i stopped the bloating and i'm now genuinely happier because i've always loved cooking and tasting any food possible and the toxic asian household i was in brainwashed me into achieving a body i would've never got unless i destroyed myself. It wasn't healthy nor beautiful, and yet i wanted it for approval, or guilt, or other reasons i still don't know.
I keep on struggling with body image, but the difference is: i don't love it yet, but i accepted it as part of my humanity. I love it for taking care of me and protecting me from so many issues and since i started eating better it's somehow glowing, i didn't put on unhealthy weight and it's defined by self-care and acceptance. I enjoy eating and trying new dishes with my loved ones, and so many of my worries are going away slowly. You've been a life changer for me and probably so many others, and i hope you know that and feel proud about the message you're sending to the world. Take care and stay safe
Thanks to you too for that comment. I'm in the same situation at the moment, it's hard, but people like her and like you give me hopes, so thank you, I hope you will get better soon. A beautiful body is not a goal, it's a mental accomplishment, love yourself and it will love you back. Don't forget to smile to the mirror, you will see sparkles ☺️
Could you please talk about loneliness in your next video? I love how reflexive you are❤