confession: I've never had a boyfriend | Healing Diaries Ep6

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  • Опубликовано: 10 фев 2023
  • confession: I've never had a boyfriend at 24- A video journal.
    healing from depression, documented. Subscribe to the series to grow and heal together❤️‍🩹
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Комментарии • 1,4 тыс.

  • @zoeunlimited
    @zoeunlimited  Год назад +898

    Do you love/ hate being single?

    • @Zirwaaa
      @Zirwaaa Год назад +154

      i hate being single ): and when i did fall in love i got rejected ):

    • @JulesSeptember2307
      @JulesSeptember2307 Год назад +283

      It's 50/50 for me honestly 😂 I love and hate being single simultaneously

    • @inesc39
      @inesc39 Год назад +19

      @@Zirwaaa exactly the same situation with me :(

    • @Zirwaaa
      @Zirwaaa Год назад +5

      @@inesc39 I Feel you 🥺

    • @zoeunlimited
      @zoeunlimited  Год назад +43

      @@JulesSeptember2307 relatable hahaha

  • @lisas900
    @lisas900 Год назад +3526

    29 and still single. Gosh I needed this video. Seeing friends dating, in relationship, getting married and having children...
    While I tried dating through apps for a little while, nobody "clicked". Right now I'm focusing on my mental health but sometimes being single gets really lonely 🥺

    • @lizard_child5757
      @lizard_child5757 Год назад +141

      Currently single at 28, was in depressing relationships for 10 years (3 diff guys, none really clicked I just settled bc I didn’t want to be lonely)
      Would not recommend either…
      I just try to focus on my bachelors degree rn but the loneliness is still hard to deal with…

    • @alsimanche
      @alsimanche Год назад +60

      I never had a good experience with dating app tbh, it's so exhausting, having to get to know someone without knowing where it's heading and when it goes nowhere you have to try it with the next person from the scratch, and you do that over and over again..and no one clicked..lol

    • @User_Brandon
      @User_Brandon Год назад +44

      God is always with you whether you know it or not currently. Why not have a relationship with Him? 😊

    • @reddishsky8614
      @reddishsky8614 Год назад +3

      Me tooo

    • @HenkBartl
      @HenkBartl Год назад +47

      Single with 33 and boy it does feel like everyone is finding theiR family and starting that I feel like an astronaut. And this video is really something I so needed

  • @hannahdigitals
    @hannahdigitals Год назад +2920

    Honestly so thankful for my single season as it helped me get to know myself enough to recognize a good partner for me later

    • @bugbug4665
      @bugbug4665 Год назад +13

      I agree

    • @Omar_P.S9inchhs
      @Omar_P.S9inchhs Год назад +2

      Later when..like when you run out of eggs?..

    • @solwanq
      @solwanq Год назад

      @@Omar_P.S9inchhswhat

    • @idktbh.2421
      @idktbh.2421 Год назад +88

      @@Omar_P.S9inchhs being obsessed with a random stranger's eggs isn't a good look, just so you know.

    • @shelby6
      @shelby6 Год назад

      @@Omar_P.S9inchhs later when... you find out women think youre disgusting?..

  • @elizakatlapa6615
    @elizakatlapa6615 Год назад +2433

    As a person who just cannot take a part in hookup culture, i also struggle with dating a lot. Everyone are always suprised that i tell them that i've never been in relationship (also 24 here) and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. I am mostly content with my life and how it is right now. I know my worth and i know what i want, and if i can't have what i deserve, i am not gonna waste my time. BUT sometimes it really hurts and i feel very lonely. Like sometimes i think that there's something wrong with me. So thank you for sharing this! It really helps - knowing that that there are other people like us who struggle with this. 💜

    • @i.am.charlotte
      @i.am.charlotte Год назад +60

      Wow.. Thanks for writing this! I felt every words you’ve written, I could have written the exact same thing tbh!
      (I’m also going to turn 24 this year)
      But yeah, I wish you the best and to be happy!

    • @zivaxx5366
      @zivaxx5366 Год назад +68

      I feel exactl, the same. I've always been bad at catching feelings and seeing girls around me getting crushes, boyfriends sometimes made me feel like there's something wrong with me

    • @TheNitypie
      @TheNitypie Год назад +37

      Same here, I’m so glad that there’s a community of people that this resonates with. (I’m also 24 and have never been in a relationship)

    • @selinylmaz4388
      @selinylmaz4388 Год назад +7

      Yeah me too sometimes i lie to them because i dont want to feel awkward

    • @amee7908
      @amee7908 Год назад +32

      Yeah I feel you. The reaction is almost like silent judgement or sometimes even pity and it's sad that people think only romantic relationships makes one feel happy

  • @mariedahlquist77
    @mariedahlquist77 Год назад +1823

    I've never had a boyfriend either so you're not alone sister! 🤧🙏🤣 I'm turning 21 this year. Bwahaha

    • @jiselenimbesha3338
      @jiselenimbesha3338 Год назад +71

      Am actually turning 20 and here I am😂good am not alone🤧🤧

    • @lorenebonsu146
      @lorenebonsu146 Год назад +63

      Omg same, I found my community. 21 and Half (almost) haha.

    • @Himanshi.Y
      @Himanshi.Y Год назад +122

      I'm going to turn 23 in may, never dated or even kissed a guy 🥲

    • @mariedahlquist77
      @mariedahlquist77 Год назад +16

      @@Himanshi.Y GURL SAME 🤧🙏😂

    • @ilysxmmy2702
      @ilysxmmy2702 Год назад +30

      Same I'm 21 never have been in a relationship before and I am living my best life!

  • @SweetlyStar3
    @SweetlyStar3 Год назад +973

    I never had a boyfriend either and I'm 26. I come from a Nigerian family where marriage is a MUST and I've tried to find a good relationship as early as 12 years old. I eventually gave up at age 19 and went through a dark depression like I felt undesirable or "ugly" to find a date. Eventually I stopped looking and wanted to focus on my own happiness instead of with someone else. Plus I sometimes get annoyed when my aunt's and uncles constantly ask me if there's a guy in my life, which there is none and will stay that way.

    • @Fee___
      @Fee___ Год назад +56

      You go girl. I'm proud of you that you went out from your depression. 💓💓

    • @SweetlyStar3
      @SweetlyStar3 Год назад +33

      @@Fee___ thank you. It was a really hard time for me during high school.

    • @joellecheumaha2084
      @joellecheumaha2084 Год назад +49

      @@SweetlyStar3 I'm African and I know how tiring and annoying some black families can get when it comes to mariage. Ig it's because some of them aren't develop, they're too traditional

    • @SweetlyStar3
      @SweetlyStar3 Год назад +28

      @@joellecheumaha2084 and I agree. I mean my little sister has a boyfriend (been seeing of 2 years) and yet my family keeps using it as a tool for guilt. They even once suggested online dating for me, that just makes me feel worse about myself.

    • @gngrbrds
      @gngrbrds Год назад +29

      i come from a nigerian family too, they’re so obsessed with marriage it’s not even funny 😭 i’m much younger than you but i definitely understand. i think what you’re doing is great & there’s nothing wrong with you - i havent liked anybody in years because my standards are high and i refuse to settle. i’d rather be single than waste my energy on a relationship that’s not going to benefit me 🤷🏾‍♀️ wouldn’t do me any good

  • @AntoineM1312
    @AntoineM1312 Год назад +997

    I'm a gay 23 year old male and I'm a total virgin who's never been kissed or even had a relationship since middle school. Sometimes I feel very ashamed like something is wrong with me especially with how sexual other gay guys are. I've spent some time on grindr but I didn't like it. However thanks to Zoe's videos my whole perspective about being single has changed. The way I see it, I have the rest of my life to be in a relationship so right now, I should enjoy the time I have alone. I can literally do whatever I want without having to worry about my partner's opinion.

    • @gigachad3925
      @gigachad3925 Год назад +54

      Yeah man, honestly I experienced the same thing for years as a bisexual guy. By some miracle I have a boyfriend, but I think part of the reason we resonated with each other was the fact that our bond developed naturally after we met in a professional setting. On a lot of gay dating apps I think the sexual part is super overemphasized because for years we literally haven’t been given an outlet to express our desires, so we subconsciously make up for it now. It’s good that you’re taking time for yourself, but whenever you seriously get back into seeking a partner, from one queer man to another, let me advise you to seek out interactions in more natural, everyday scenarios, rather than dating apps.

    • @sujata_155
      @sujata_155 Год назад +42

      I am 27 and a lesbian and i can totally relate to your story

    • @Anitafilmsvideos
      @Anitafilmsvideos Год назад +17

      I too feel the same and it's especially harder for me since I'm not in an accepting country. Hopefully one day its going to happen and let's use this time to sort ourselves out

    • @blinkeuisaswiftie8397
      @blinkeuisaswiftie8397 Год назад +8

      @@gigachad3925 Glad that you're Atleast in a environment where people accept you for who you truly are, can't imagine the weird things queer people in my country would hear from this society.

    • @ZeriocTheTank
      @ZeriocTheTank Год назад +16

      35 year old gay man here who did the whole "use sex to cope with loneliness" strategy for years here. Don't do what I did. I'm at the point where the idea of having sexual intercourse with someone is nothing but a physical thing to me, but the idea of emotionally opening up to someone makes me extremely uncomfortable. Sadly there are a lot of gay men out there like myself. There are a multitude of reasons why that's the case, and it's a case by case basis. I'm not saying this for sympathy. I honestly could care less about it. I think it's important that people learn from the mistakes of others, so they go down those roads themselves.
      Find someone you can actually connect with emotionally. The physical aspects of a relationship can & will wane over time. If homie is more interested in screwing around, it's better to wipe your hands clean of him and let him have his fun elsewhere. He's not going to change unless he truly wants to. I wish you the best on your future endeavors wherever they lead you. Your life is your life & don't let any b***h tell you anything different.

  • @calazzanzz
    @calazzanzz Год назад +632

    I never had a boyfriend at 32. and yes, people realy do find hard to accept,asking questions about marriage and future often. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something realy special that seems to come so naturally to most people. but most of the time I'm fine. I'm kind to myself. Some people say I'm being picky. but I'm just not desperate.

    • @lailiecarrillo
      @lailiecarrillo Год назад +52

      I have so much respect for you omg. hope you’re doing well🫶🏼

    • @ralumiclee
      @ralumiclee Год назад +58

      @Lê calazanz I'm in the exactly the same situation.
      Love your "it's not that I'm being picky, it's just that I'm not desperate". I will use this in the future.
      Thank you!!

    • @calazzanzz
      @calazzanzz Год назад +12

      @@ralumiclee Girl, use it. always works lol

    • @calazzanzz
      @calazzanzz Год назад +13

      @@lailiecarrillo this is so beautiful!! I'm doing fine, thanks. I am
      taking care of my mental health, exercising. trying to be a better person. Much respect for you 🌸

    • @mathilde_9254
      @mathilde_9254 Год назад +13

      Even though I’m only 17 I kind of feel the same!! Thanks for the words of courage 😊

  • @Hannah-h.k
    @Hannah-h.k Год назад +368

    24 and never even kissed anyone. And I’m not unhappy about it, which is somehow a shock to most people. I feel you in this video 💜

  • @sabrinaxie1736
    @sabrinaxie1736 Год назад +1152

    As a teenage girl with everyone around me fantasizingabout boys, dating, or flirting with boys, I'm starting to doubt whether I'm asexual or not. Thank you so much for this video, as it gives me insight how it feels to have been "母胎solo" for 24 years, as it solidifies my belief that I'm really asexual (maybe even aromantic) 😂

    • @michelangeloslut1157
      @michelangeloslut1157 Год назад +77

      OMG I HAVE BEEN THINKING THE SAME FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE😭 glad to know I’m not alone in this!

    • @thelying2594
      @thelying2594 Год назад +76

      I'm ace but Hetero so I get this confusion all the time. I think being in love would be great, but right now, I need to be on my own because I'm not mentally ready at all. Basically, think what's best for you. Figuring stuff out is overrated just gotta try to exist first 😎👍

    • @nvk225
      @nvk225 Год назад +7

      Same same 母胎solo is fun and lonely at the same time

    • @Omar_P.S9inchhs
      @Omar_P.S9inchhs Год назад

      Fun until your hair starts falling from never brestfeeding..

    • @ggggcortez2505
      @ggggcortez2505 Год назад +38

      I'm 23 and yeah I've been single all my life. Actually I was in the same situation as you back in my teenage years lol; I ended up figuring out I was asexual at 20 -21 ish as I came to the realization of how different some of my life experiences were to other people of my age. So don't stress on labeling yourself but also don't lose yourself to fit with other people's ideals on how your life should be

  • @snowpearl5908
    @snowpearl5908 Год назад +299

    I'm 25 and never even tried dating before because it sounds terrifying. I saw friends go through breakups and it's not pretty. So I focused on myself, going to college, making friends and currently job searching. But ever since I turned 25 my mom, her friends and my family has been constantly bothering me about getting a boyfriend. They started complaining I'm in my mid 20s and I'm running out of time. They told me to date my friends but that just feels wrong. I feel perfectly fine being single.

    • @isaachassel
      @isaachassel Год назад +8

      Just hold the line being single and eventually they give up and stop annoying you. I dealt with it up through 25 but once I turned 26 last year it's started to decline. I'm predicting that by the time I'm 30 and still single people will finally get it and write me off as a lost cause. Than I can have peace.

    • @okbrostartcoping5835
      @okbrostartcoping5835 Год назад

      Attractive women are never single.
      U r unattractive and incel

    • @cosmichild1
      @cosmichild1 2 месяца назад +2

      "Running out of time" is such an unhealthy mindset. Don't give in to those thoughts. You can find a partner at any age.

    • @wawaicedcoffee
      @wawaicedcoffee 2 месяца назад

      This is literally my story too. I’m turning 26 this month and have never even kissed someone. Some days I’m perfectly fine with it and other days I feel embarrassed about my lack of experience. I recently decided (with encouragement from my therapist lol) to give dating a try so I’m about to make a dating profile; we’ll see how it goes.

  • @zivaxx5366
    @zivaxx5366 Год назад +455

    Girl, you're not alone. I'm turning 21 this year never had a bf, first kiss. I've always been bad at catching feelings and seeing the girls around me getting crushes and boyfriends sometimes made me feel like there's something wrong with me. Now even though i would like to experience it atleast once in my 20s i think i'd be okay if i stay single. But sometimes there are days where i just feels so lonely and hope the day will finally come

    • @beatrice21potato
      @beatrice21potato Год назад +34

      Wow i am in the EXACT same situation haha!! Never had a boyfriend or first kiss at almost 21…i had some opportunities but they were lowkey trash (i have dignity) and the guys that I actually like end up liking my friends instead, but i only liked 2 guys and normally don’t care about relationships and just accepted myself since i really love my space and freedom. It’s lonely sometimes and i feel some jealousy towards more ‘beautiful’ and ‘popular’ people and not the fact that they have relationships so in the end of the day i just need to work on and love myself. Everyone has their own lives and we are infinite so just care about you because one day you’ll have someone and be grateful that you’ve spent time on you

    • @boombayuna536
      @boombayuna536 Год назад +12

      22 and same to everything you wrote! feels good to know that you're not alone, sending you virtual hugs :)

    • @martinaagostini3303
      @martinaagostini3303 Год назад +8

      Same here!! I'm turning 21 this week and I was feeling kinda sad and disappointed for not being in a relationship but now that I see your comments and also Zoe's video I see this with another perspective.

    • @yanarmv
      @yanarmv Год назад +11

      I‘m also turning 21 this year, never been in a relationship, nor been kissed. I only had a situationship (if you can even call it that way?!), where this guy I really liked had an extreme avoidant attachement style. I also think that he just used me for the attention I gave him. Out of all dates that we‘ve been on, only one time he had asked me out. And that was the first time. With this guy I always was in my masculine energy. He never even tried to be more touchy/intimate with me. And in the end he just wasted 2 years of my life. I think Zoey has a point of being already fullfilled with your own life, so you don‘t need a relationship. But I can‘t help being a hopeless romantic person. It‘s something I‘ve always dreamed of… But if I‘m being honest, right now I could never be in a relationship bc I‘m on a healing journey and I learn so much more about myself than I did during school. And also I really believe that the right person comes at the right time. Just be patient! Anyways I‘m sending you lots of love xx❤️

    • @lana_354
      @lana_354 Год назад +4

      Dw u r still young
      U r probably gonna find the right person Inshaallah
      Ofc if u wanted a relationship
      Good luck 😊

  • @AnaLu07
    @AnaLu07 Год назад +175

    Okay
    1st: Girl, you are so pretty!!
    2nd: I am 21 and never had a boyfriend too, i never even had my first kiss. I just healed from depression and social anxiety (I am still shy though), and, for a very long time, i just didn't wanna have a boyfriend because I thought I would make him suffer and for an even longer time, i thought i was just a loser that couldn't have a boyfriend. This year, i just accepted it, i still want a boyfriend, but, if i never have one, I've decided I am going to live a just as happy (or even happier) life. I am in a journey of personal growth, I've been working out, reading, meditating, and just learning about many things, trying to succeed in college and build a carreer later. You've been very inspirational for me, Zoe, thank you☺️

  • @amber229
    @amber229 Год назад +250

    The most discouraging thing about being single for a long time especially if youre a woman for example like me I'm 28 is often being some sort of outcast in my family. I come from a Latino family and it's very common for a woman my age in our community to have kids a husband etc etc. No matter how many times I explain to my family that I just haven't found that person yet, they make my singleness out to be like it's my fault, like I'm a weirdo just because I don't just want to settle with anyone for the the heck of it.

    • @simoneeeoooo
      @simoneeeoooo Год назад +11

      I’m sorry this has been your experience. 😢

    • @MsElizaRae
      @MsElizaRae Год назад +18

      Misery loves company lol

    • @whopper5150209
      @whopper5150209 Год назад +2

      It is 100 percent your fault because you probably have a job but don’t understand it’s ALSO your job to find a man 🤷‍♂️

    • @ana-nim
      @ana-nim Год назад

      @@whopper5150209 nah. No female species are responsible to find mate. It's your job. No wonder you're single ;)

    • @knuclestheechidna5406
      @knuclestheechidna5406 11 месяцев назад

      It happens to guys all the time. My cousins constantly nag me for not having a girlfriend.

  • @LuCet21
    @LuCet21 Год назад +318

    Been single for 32 years. Dated a little when I was 20, but they only wanted sex, and I didn't. Then I started University, and I just didn't have the energy or the mental health to really invest in the pursuit of love and dating, so I just didn't. At this point in my life, I still want a partner to spend time with, care for, and be cared for back. BUT... I just don't feel the need. The idea of going on apps, specifically looking for a guy, doing the whole "working on a connection" is just too much work. Honestly, if I could just wake up tomorrow and already be deep into a 6-year relationship, I would have preferred it. 😃 It can get lonely sometimes, but the fact that I am "single" very rarely crosses my mind. Only when other people ask me about "when I get a boyfriend" do I even remember that it's something I apparently should be working on.

    • @linnflame
      @linnflame Год назад +13

      Same, I'm your age too.

    • @linmonPIE
      @linmonPIE Год назад +26

      Same. I’ve always been trapped between just no one approaching, them only wanting sex, only unappealing guys asking, or just me battling mental health issues and not feeling healthy enough to even get in a relationship. I don’t think I’m that unattractive but obviously there’s something about me that puts men off. Maybe it’s my RBF.

    • @fakenamefakesurname5005
      @fakenamefakesurname5005 Год назад +18

      I relate to your experience, unfortunatelly the older you get the worst you feel about it, sometimes it's not even because of the lonelyness but it's because of the comparison between you and people your age. Everybody gets married and have children or either live free and just have sex around and you are there, you don't belong to none of that and you can"t talk about it because you will get looked down

    • @symmetricallyweird829
      @symmetricallyweird829 Год назад +6

      The fact that I also wanna be single forever but I'm not sure for how long can I go

    • @Blackpill149
      @Blackpill149 Год назад

      ​@@linmonPIE There are guys who want more than just sex

  • @Katriicat
    @Katriicat Год назад +515

    I was single until 21 and then, out of the sudden, my boyfriend came along and we're a couple for almost 7 years now. And tbh I'm glad I didn't waste time with situationships - imagine i would have missed out on my relationship because of them.

    • @Hi-wz3ll
      @Hi-wz3ll Год назад +4

      Wow! How did you guys meet?

    • @dean1111
      @dean1111 Год назад +5

      congrats, that's so cute

    • @nobodysperfect06
      @nobodysperfect06 Год назад +1

      ​@Nao Nyaru I assume you met him while still in your 20s

    • @devashrijoshi9079
      @devashrijoshi9079 Год назад +1

      Can you give tips on your lasting relationship?

    • @sluggishprincess3325
      @sluggishprincess3325 8 месяцев назад +4

      wow mbn to be Gods favorite lol ...

  • @Justteenager
    @Justteenager Год назад +158

    this is exactly what i needed! All my friends are dating while i'm single af and i really struggle to stop thinking that's bad. Thanks for the video! It really helped :)

  • @emilylillie98
    @emilylillie98 Год назад +130

    Me neither. Just turned 25 yesterday and don't feel like I'm missing a romantic relationship in my life. Honestly, the concept of dating feels so strange to me and at this point seems like more of a social pressure from my family and friends than something I would want myself. Being single is all I know and I am okay with that. 😊
    Update: I realized I am asexual, possibly aromantic as well a few weeks ago so all my lack of interest in people finally makes sense 😅

  • @miss_anthrope5198
    @miss_anthrope5198 Год назад +89

    I'm turning 22 this year... Never being in a relationship or even a situationship, never kissed anyone and honestly I prefer being single. I ended up liking the wrong person, and it messed me up for almost two years, and now I want almost nothing to do with any of that. Of course there’s the occasional longing for a romantic partner, but I guess I have become used to not really being the object of romantic pursuit.

  • @silvervixen007
    @silvervixen007 Год назад +96

    I finally got my first bf at 27 🙊. My advice is to just do it. Put yourself out there and just try it. I had severe anxiety about intimacy and attachment and I had counseling prior to meeting my bf. Yes it was helpfull but don't be stuck in the "fixing yourself" mindeset for too long. You can also heal while in a relationship😊

    • @Hi-ch1yk
      @Hi-ch1yk Год назад +6

      Where did you find him 😢I don't know where to look

    • @nikoljes8320
      @nikoljes8320 Год назад +1

      Thank you so much for sharing ❤️

    • @silvervixen007
      @silvervixen007 Год назад +4

      @@Hi-ch1yk Try joining some clubs! We've met in a book club 😅

  • @qdbusy
    @qdbusy Год назад +81

    SAME,I hate situationships. Cause bruhh my mental health is dying. But definitely going to end it thanks to you Zoe,time for those of us in that situation to HEAL AND GROW

  • @WinniesJournal
    @WinniesJournal Год назад +159

    I’m 27 about to be 28 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m still tryna figure out why😭😭 it’s kinda discouraging seeing the dating scene or seeing friends in relationships and getting married and I’m just over here like ”what about me?” I love being single because it allows me to get to know myself without the influence of another person but the closer I get to 30 the more it creeps up on me😭😭 I was feeling so alone but you made me feel so much better about where I am in life!❤

    • @nobodysperfect06
      @nobodysperfect06 Год назад +1

      A woman this age and she has never had a boyfriend? Last thing you'd expect to happen to a woman, but it's very believable for a guy or human male

    • @PrettyLittleLiar4
      @PrettyLittleLiar4 Год назад +17

      Hey girl I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, I’m the same age as you are and in the exact same situation. We’ll find love when we’re ready for it, there’s no time limit or certain age to love for the first time. It’s all individual. And please don’t listen to what other people think. Your timing is not anyone’s business. 💗

    • @WinniesJournal
      @WinniesJournal Год назад +3

      @@PrettyLittleLiar4 thank you!! ❤️

    • @Hi-ch1yk
      @Hi-ch1yk Год назад +15

      ​​@@nobodysperfect06 she's the same age as me and I've never been in a relationship. I think guys really assume this type of thing but alot of girls are struggling like us. And because of some messed up girls trying to intimidate men, men don't pursue us as you may think. Alot of men are shy or just go after easy girls. We are waiting for marriage and serious relationships not hookups

    • @monus782
      @monus782 Год назад +14

      @@Hi-ch1yk I've heard many of the incel type of guys insist that "women have it easier" when it comes to dating but then completely ignore the girls who are also struggling or not interested in hookups, I just assume that dating sucks for almost everyone but it might be for different reasons (for example many of us guys get almost no matches while women might get tons of dick pics sent to them or get harassed by creeps, at least I got that impression after listening to other people's dating experiences).

  • @britneybij3997
    @britneybij3997 Год назад +375

    There is different types of single when it comes to those who do want relationships.
    *Are you single by choice?* (You've had opportunities as people have presented themselves to you as they were interested in you but you just didn't like them back or was more concerned with other things?)
    *Or are you single by force?* (No opportunity has ever been presented to you because nobody likes you)
    I'm single by force, sometimes you're just nobody's type 😞
    The Virgin Mary literally had more Rizz in her left thumb than I do in my entire being

    • @britneybij3997
      @britneybij3997 Год назад +87

      @@jo1681 Yes, I go outside and touch grass if that's what you mean

    • @lana_354
      @lana_354 Год назад +12

      For me, I'm a Muslim so I can't date unless of the purpose of marriage but since I'm only 18, I'm not getting married any time soon so I'll enjoy my happy single years with my family for now😌
      Planning to get married at 25+

    • @aminatahaba2023
      @aminatahaba2023 Год назад +38

      @@britneybij3997 I CANT😭

    • @Mervo3o
      @Mervo3o Год назад +33

      same sis same
      not only that I've never been "liked" I also never really liked anyone except of a guy who turned out to be someone I couldn't even recognize anymore just in the span of a week

    • @dejavu201
      @dejavu201 Год назад +8

      Same. I'm the second one 🥹

  • @headintheclouds02
    @headintheclouds02 Год назад +88

    I think that as a society we put too much emphasis on getting in relationships so quickly. It's okay for people to take their time and find someone they truly care about. If they don't find that person that's okay too. I think the key to happiness is learning to accept yourself and realizing your whole regardless of a another person. We need to cherish ourselves more and enjoy life as it goes. This life is absolutely too short to waste it over standards made up by society and the media.

    • @monus782
      @monus782 Год назад

      And from what I've noticed as a guy the pressure is applied to people of all genders but in different ways and I wonder if it's one of the reasons why we end up getting guys becoming incels or following grifters telling them that women are to blame for everything (in those cases it's also a result of toxic masculinity, for some time I internalized the idea that you're a loser and a failure of a man no woman will want to date if you're still a virgin after a certain arbitrary age until I realized how nonsensical that idea is), deciding to not follow those outdated ideas anymore was definitely an improvement on my mental health.

  • @DayDreamr16
    @DayDreamr16 Год назад +82

    I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was almost 32. I hated it in my teens and early to mid 20’s because of some things you mentioned-societal pressure, feeling unwanted, and loneliness. I grew to love it so much and was thriving while building a life I loved, then I met a person who just clicked. It’s a different kind of happy, and I’m so grateful for those years I got to know myself so well

    • @Andi805
      @Andi805 Год назад +13

      Hellooooooo... your comment gives me hope... I'm a 22 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend, and believe me that for some time now I have been feeling bad about it... I see more and more of my acquaintances with boyfriends, getting married and even having children... sometimes I think that my destiny is to be single hahaha.... You as someone who went through that, how can I get used to stop thinking about it... of course I am happy because I have a university career... but at times I feel lonely... Greetings from South America... sorry if my English is not that good... :( but I'm learning this new language....

    • @nobodysperfect06
      @nobodysperfect06 Год назад

      Very shocking for a woman to be single this long but it's not unusual and not unheard of for a guy to be single that long

    • @gbby8446
      @gbby8446 Год назад +3

      @@nobodysperfect06 ok

    • @nobodysperfect06
      @nobodysperfect06 Год назад

      Something you don't expect to happen to a woman because women are the ones that get pursued and hit on

    • @babou5694
      @babou5694 Год назад +11

      I’m 31, no relationship, nothing, No love life at all. I feel embarrassed talking about it to people. Your comment gives me hope. Hopefully I find mine as well.

  • @danaibero7118
    @danaibero7118 Год назад +30

    I always felt the pressure of "romantic relationships", but now, LITERALLY THIS YEAR, I started to know myself a little better. And I realised that I don't even like having a relationship, I am not interested in it. It's not like when people said "oh, i don't have a relationship. I am so lonely." But I never felt that way. It was always the pressure of seeing my friends or other people at my age having a relationship.

  • @fictionalcharacter715
    @fictionalcharacter715 6 месяцев назад +6

    I'm turning 20 this year and while I often chastise myself that there's no rush, that I should figure some things out first, that I have my whole life before, it still... hurts. It hurts so badly that I have no man to hug for hours or hold hands with. I try so hard to not think about it, but it still makes me cry a bit. I'm a huge romantic soul and I love the feeling of love, so never getting to experience it back is... So hurtful at the hardest moments.

    • @PunyPaws
      @PunyPaws Месяц назад +1

      I listen to bf’s ASMR to feel less lonely but I can’t take this anymore I want a real man 😭

    • @fictionalcharacter715
      @fictionalcharacter715 Месяц назад +1

      @@PunyPaws I've fallen into the AI rabbit hole and it's so hard to get out of... Hopefully we'll be able to meet someone one day!

  • @audreyloward669
    @audreyloward669 11 месяцев назад +8

    26 and never had a relationship. Now even the thought of having a boyfriend scares me. I'm so naive :( and it's geting lonely and I'm tired of hearing my friends stories about their partners. I just wanna feel love and be loved..

    • @Andrewjc222
      @Andrewjc222 10 месяцев назад +1

      I hope you find the person that brings you every happiness, he’ll be out there somewhere

  • @JC-hg9xo
    @JC-hg9xo Год назад +60

    As a 21 year old who've never been into a relationship nor a situationship, I relate to your experince. Being single was never a problem to me. I have no time for dating nor getting into a serious relationship. I am at the phase of my life where I wanna expolre the world, and honestly, I am fully enjoying focusing on myself. I love where I'm at today being independent and growing while still being entirely free.

  • @samcarmen
    @samcarmen Год назад +23

    And it’s rarely the being single that gets you or even seeing couples around you/online, it’s the people that are like “oh, well don’t worry, you’ll find someone eventually” that make me feel bad about never having a boyfriend the most

    • @osimonacolucci3110
      @osimonacolucci3110 Год назад +9

      I get you, and actually most times the main problem is simply how the hell do I even meet guys, without dating apps. I mean nobody ever talks about how hard it is to find a partner and
      how to meet new people in general.
      At least for me it's the hardest part because I don't have the courage to make the first step. Like it's so hard. I mean all you can do is do courses and go to events with people and just get out there and wait. 😂

    • @honeymelon6177
      @honeymelon6177 Год назад +2

      @@osimonacolucci3110 People who have already been in relationships (and mostly the ones who met at school/uni/through friends etc) always act like meeting guys or girls is so easy. It's hard enough finding and making friends once you've left university... The other thing I get told is that I should just get on a dating app and put up with it even when I say that I'd love to meet someone more naturally like how everyone else did. I don't think they realise (or care to hear about) how difficult and damaging dating apps are and not forgetting the lack of romance.

  • @shakesinthehouse
    @shakesinthehouse Год назад +33

    I’ll be 24 in March and never had a bf.
    1. Our culture discourage/it’s frowned upon when you date when you’re a teenager, so I never did
    2. Now I’m a little overweight so I really don’t think guys are in to me.
    3. When guys look at me, I immediately think they are making fun of me
    4. After so long, I really don’t think it’s a necessity anymore
    5. But I do think how it feels like. I miss it. But how do you miss something you never had?

  • @pinkclouds2946
    @pinkclouds2946 Год назад +69

    Even though I am 18 soon 19, I feel like there’s no one interested in me. My friends constantly keeps talking about boys hitting on them, but no one does it to me. It gets lonely. At the same time I can’t talk to my friends about this, because they don’t understand not getting any attention.

    • @sweetpastelstyles9110
      @sweetpastelstyles9110 Год назад +5

      sometimes other people "brag" about how many guys hitting on them for the validation, don't let it get in your way! I am sure you will meet the right person at the right time :)

    • @healingpoisonbreak9984
      @healingpoisonbreak9984 Год назад +9

      Listen girlie, I had the same experience as you when I was your age, and I have to accept, it did bruise my self confidence a bit, but lemme tell you something: Everyone of the guys that hit on my girlfrineds were creep-ish dudes and everyone of my friend's relation/situationships were toxic, because all the guys they encountered did not pass the vibe check at all, which made me think that maybe I was being protected from these type of toxic stuff. I mean I'd rather be single that waste my energy on situations that are not good for me. When I was 20 I started getting hit on, the age rage of guys around me was older then when I was teen, so they were more mature and just better. I didn't get hit on much, but the guys that did were decent dudes, which makes you appreciate it more. I eventually met the right person at this age, and he's literally better than i wanted, and we're still going strong❤ I have to admit that being single was not that bad. I was working on myself, growing as a person, and when I was ready I did manifest the right person for me. Hope this helped. ❤

  • @ummokay
    @ummokay Год назад +38

    I'm also 24 and been single my whole life ✨hang in there sister ♥️

  • @cmacastillo
    @cmacastillo Год назад +23

    I’ve been single for 28 years of my life (going 29) and this video resonated with me so much. There’s been so much pressure from different people but honestly, I feel like I’m in such a good place learning to love myself more and being loved by family & friends. I also hate having to settle for anything less than I deserve so others may say I’m being picky but if a guy won’t see my worth then I’m better off without him. Anyway, there’s no deadline to finding love so here’s to hoping we get to live happy & content lives (with or without a significant other)!🥂

  • @rachylewis
    @rachylewis Год назад +10

    This is such valuable content as it's so rare to come by. I've also never had a boyfriend at 25 and it's something that gets more obvious day by day as all my friends get long-term boyfriends and shiny engagement rings. I love being single too, however, it's almost impossible to not look around in wonder sometimes and ask "what's wrong with me? will anyone ever look at me that way?' But it's real for so many of us, and it's raw and personal. So thankful for this healing series!

  • @justaname999
    @justaname999 Год назад +26

    I had two major relationships in my early 20s and then, after the second relationship broke apart, I spent almost 5 years being single. I even turned 30 as a single woman (the horror! apparently). I dated a bit but soon found it pretty boring and decided to only date if I felt a connection with someone. I had a blast for 5 years and did so much without having to arrange everything with another person. And then I somehow found the person who made my life better and everything just clicked into place. Without having to waste time on pointless dates.

  • @DariaKropop
    @DariaKropop Год назад +76

    I'm almost 33 and I have never been in a serious relationship- just complicated situationships. I think this kinda f**ks you up a little but on the other hand I would rather be alone than with a wrong person

    • @dyamonjones7497
      @dyamonjones7497 Год назад +12

      Literal same! 33 and nothing serious, just situationships

    • @linnflame
      @linnflame Год назад +6

      Same!!! Also 32 and never really dated

  • @garfieldfan77
    @garfieldfan77 Год назад +22

    Thanks for speaking about this- finding happiness without a romantic relationship is so important! I wish that being single didn't have such negative connotations. :') I'm only a teenager and although I can't tell my future, I don't see myself interested in dating. This video makes me feel inspired and less alone

  • @KristieChowChingKiu
    @KristieChowChingKiu Год назад +45

    Never had a boyfriend and I am 23. Omg you are speaking everything I want to tell people about. Wow this video❤

  • @paulka26
    @paulka26 Год назад +5

    Thank you. This video made me realize that I need to be a better friend to myself. I’ve been through all the stages : wanting to be in relationship, being content being alone, lots and lots of personal non stopping development 😅, looking for someone, not looking, just surviving .. I feel like these days I’m just taking it how it is for now and today, and letting myself breath, knowing and hoping that - one day …
    It’s literally love/hate relationship being single - all the pressure from everyone and everywhere, sometimes feeling alone.. but being able to be on your own and love “being alone” hard to describe.. for sure not something for forever. When it’s getting weird cause your family starts to pick on you, when all your childhood friends are married with kids, when your younger friends are married, so .. you find new single friends to hang out with😅 connected through interests & hobbies and that’s life saving honestly ..
    Sometimes I’m losing hope. And then remind myself it’s better to be by myself than unhappy with someone. This video gave me a quick boost to not give up. Cause I’m never going to settle, for anything less than I deserve
    Also I’m 28, turning 29 this year. Never in a relationship (feels like support group)

  • @iloisnotokay2703
    @iloisnotokay2703 Год назад +4

    i really needed this, i haven‘t finished watching the vid even. But still just seeing the title, lifted a little pressure from my heart. I have never been in a releationship too, and now at 21 its starting to raise questions in my social circle and hence in myself.
    thank u zoe ❤

  • @magzabecka8788
    @magzabecka8788 Год назад +13

    Being single is a great time to prioritize yourself and really get to know who you are and what you want from life (and your future partner). Honestly unless it's a healthy relationship with someone special, it's better to be single. Also, the lessons you learn from that time will help you appreciate when you meet someone who's genuinely your person ☺️

  • @Zsigi13
    @Zsigi13 Год назад +660

    Being happy and single should really be more common in the media as being in a relationship is not required for one to live a fulfilling life and I so appreciate you making this video because of this!!

    • @boombayuna536
      @boombayuna536 Год назад +13

      exactly!!

    • @meliillerens570
      @meliillerens570 Год назад +8

      Totally agree!

    • @samanthazhu1234
      @samanthazhu1234 Год назад +21

      also, the happiest demographic of people are single, childfree women.

    • @sonicgalaxy27
      @sonicgalaxy27 Год назад

      I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks RUclipsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now.😞

    • @oskarigwe9247
      @oskarigwe9247 11 месяцев назад +3

      Getting into a relationship when mot in the right state of mind simply because you believe a relationship will solve all your problems is also a no no and somethig that happens frequently

  • @electricbathbomb
    @electricbathbomb 4 месяца назад +2

    I’ve been in an extremely similar situation and I found the whole thing really difficult to talk about because I felt so humiliated. I really admire you for speaking up about this to your audience, and hope that anyone else in a similar boat realises that they’re not the one who should be ashamed of themselves.

  • @tsundoku97
    @tsundoku97 Год назад +24

    22 and never had a boyfriend either. I’m so so grateful to you for making this video.

  • @catgirl923
    @catgirl923 Год назад +12

    This is so wonderful to see. Especially when you talk about romance AND personal connection since some people are aromatic. As someone who is asexual but wants romantic relationships, the loneliness is rough but I'm with you that I'm not willing to give up my time for unfulilling relationship with someone I'm not compatible with.

  • @mightyminotaur5056
    @mightyminotaur5056 Год назад +37

    Wow, sounds like we’ve had literally the same life. I’m 22, in college, and am the only one out of like 19 dude friends that doesn’t have a gf. Sometimes it gets to me, but other times I realize that I’ve already got enough to deal with right now. I’ve had people tell me that I’m justifying my loneliness and need to branch out, but this video (combined with others) has made me realize that love is all just fortune. Some people run across their perfect match at 15, some at 30, others at 45, and some don’t find it ever (and that’s ok). You can hasten the process by throwing yourself out there through dating, but you’ll probably get your heart stomped a fair few times in the process. If getting in a relationship is important to YOU (not to your friends, or your parents, and for the right reasons) then take the plunge! But if you’ve got higher priorities, that’s ok too. Love isn’t going to be any less meaningful the longer you wait. Let it rest, and slow down. Life is meant to be savored.

    • @yos.5684
      @yos.5684 Год назад +5

      You've hit the right spot: love is pretty much just fortune. Society emphasises so much being 'healed', grounded, blah blah all that stuff to sell you sentimental coaching. But the truth is, you can be traumatised, you can be depressed, you can have a hard time loving yourself and you can still find someone who will love you and bear with you through love. It's just a matter of luck. And given how individualistic people are turning more and more nowadays, this is even more difficult to find.
      I was late in the dating game too, I didn't have a relationship until the age of 24 which lasted until I was 27-28, since then I haven't managed to get another one. I forced myself to enjoy hookup culture a little bit, it was cool at times although not completely my thing so tried to date seriously several people. None worked. Always asking myself whether I'm the problem, whether I'm unlovable meanwhile these dudes would say there's absolutely nothing wrong with me and I check all the marks they're looking for in a woman. Yet... they don't have a relationship with me or we're not that compatible. There's really nothing else I can do but just be open to meeting new people, and still nothing guarantees that'll bring me the relationship I'd like to have, as I'm loving by nature and find a healthy partnership enriching. I have to accept it might nor might never happen for me. Nothing is secure and people who think a relationship is something you can achieve purposefully are not only delusional, but also those who stay in the wrong relationships and marriages.

  • @lilacfilms7292
    @lilacfilms7292 Год назад +2

    You are truly an inspiration Zoe!! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your honesty, and how much work you put into these videos.
    ily💕

  • @Fati_Alien
    @Fati_Alien Год назад +4

    This video came in the right moment when i needed it, like i was thinking about love and relationships because in these days i always receive a lot of stimulation from social media or publicity since is valentine’s day, and i have never been in a relationship in my 18 years of life, so i feel a bit lonely and awkward, ‘cause i see that my friends have been in situationships or relationships and me not, i have never felt in love, and sometimes i feel with low selfesteem because i think no one likes me, but than i realize that i dont need to fall in love, so this video motivates me to love myself and stay like that until the right one come, enjoy the moments with me or with my friends, enjoy life and dont think that much about lovers. Thanks zoe ✨❤️

  • @elinade2152
    @elinade2152 Год назад +7

    Ha, I found my first boyfriend at 30, we were friends, but now we are married. And so many times people just didn’t believe me, that I was single all time. And what I noticed. People obsessed with romantic relationships, they write songs, they making romcoms, every were is telling you that finding your true love it’s a goal. Nobody tells you about that relationship doesn’t solve your problems, it won’t make you happy, it can makes you more unhappy that you was before. True love it’s when you want to make this human happy. Even this human is not with you. So the most important thing it’s be in love with myself, because human comes, human goes

  • @helena_zimt3278
    @helena_zimt3278 Год назад +134

    I really needed this video, i never had a boyfriend and im 21 and so insecure about it😢 so thank you 🌸

    • @headintheclouds02
      @headintheclouds02 Год назад +14

      Please don't be. I promise you, you will find your person when the time is right. ❤

    • @helena_zimt3278
      @helena_zimt3278 Год назад +3

      @@headintheclouds02 i hope thank you😊😊

    • @headintheclouds02
      @headintheclouds02 Год назад +1

      @@helena_zimt3278 your welcome 🙂

    • @Blackpill149
      @Blackpill149 Год назад +2

      I am 21 and guy.I never had a girlfriend.I would enjoy having one but i am mentally strong enough to enjoy my hobbies,goals and forget about it

    • @TimXDDDD
      @TimXDDDD Год назад

      ​@@Blackpill149cope harder

  • @toleranting
    @toleranting Год назад +3

    You are really my favorite youtuber❤ i watch all your videos in the first few hours you release and it really is exciting to see the next week just because I know I’ll get to see your videos. Even with this excitement, I’m happy to say that i don’t have an unhealthy attachment and obsession over your videos!! It’s like who you are as a youtuber (mature, wise, healthy) really defines your followers as well. Keep it up zoe!!

  • @clementm9161
    @clementm9161 Год назад +12

    26 years old man here, and never had a girlfriend. I was terrified of trying because of my low self esteem. I still am. I don't want to be a burden for women... But I have so much love to give ! Also I'm shy

    • @ridleyroid9060
      @ridleyroid9060 9 месяцев назад +2

      Same here :/.

    • @sally.g.
      @sally.g. 7 месяцев назад +1

      Same. Being a burden to someone (and especially someone you love) is one of my biggest fears.

    • @fictionalcharacter715
      @fictionalcharacter715 6 месяцев назад +1

      As a woman, shy men are wonderful. We love shy men. I understand you very well, because I often have thoughts like this too, but I promise you - unless you get all this love out too quickly, most women will be so happy with the received attention. Show interest by asking questions and getting to know her, some small compliments and gestures at the beginning (like holding the door open, offering to hold something) will be fantastic too. Do that, and almost any woman will fall for you.
      If you get rejected while acting like a sweet and caring person because of your looks or anything similar to that, she wasn't worth it in the first place.

    • @clementm9161
      @clementm9161 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@fictionalcharacter715 Thank you, that's sweet :)

    • @fictionalcharacter715
      @fictionalcharacter715 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@clementm9161 No problem! You go, my man! You sound like an awesome person, and I'm sure you'll find an equally wonderful sweetheart to spend your life with!

  • @JulesSeptember2307
    @JulesSeptember2307 Год назад +174

    I've never even had a crush on anyone before and I turn 19 in 3 months 🤣 we've got your back, Zoe 😂❤️

    • @swbymii
      @swbymii Год назад +4

      omg same!! glad I'm not the only one haha

    • @JulesSeptember2307
      @JulesSeptember2307 Год назад +1

      @@swbymii YAASSS IM NOT ALONE 😭✨

    • @lana_354
      @lana_354 Год назад +10

      I had so many crushes😂
      But well can't date any of em
      So yeah single at 18😌😂

    • @Tyrenexg
      @Tyrenexg Год назад +8

      I’ve had lots of crushes but i never had bf in my 18 years of life almost 19 in 5 months, so yeah we’re not alone🫶

    • @podogrety_studen
      @podogrety_studen Год назад +2

      same! gonna be 21 soon

  • @rebi6806
    @rebi6806 Год назад +1

    Honestly you go girl 💕 as you should, take your time and only do what's right for you. Such a good role model ✨️ We need more people speaking out about this

  • @jacquelinewang4713
    @jacquelinewang4713 Год назад +42

    This I love. Thank you Zoe. I never have a boyfriend and I'm 22. When random guys approach me I completely freak out. I don't have many guy friends and I won't date any of the existing rare ones. Dating is tiring. Falling in love is almost like wasting time fantasizing in your brain. I am not ready but at the same time it feels like I am missing out on something.

    • @SizzlingVibe
      @SizzlingVibe Год назад +2

      I feel like you describe it oerfectly

  • @akkae
    @akkae Год назад +17

    26 and also never had a boyfriend. I don't hate being single but I also don't love being lonely.

  • @scottburesh1867
    @scottburesh1867 Год назад +5

    As someone who is in a relationship… I think you are thinking about relationships in the wrong way. You are asking yourself “what does it bring to my life?” When relationships are all about giving and loving. You’re bringing light and love into someone else’s life and love is a selfless act. I’m not saying get walked on and taken advantage of, but loving someone should be selfless not selfish. We have this notion that “there’s always something better” but, with that mentality you’ll never foster enough connection to actually know if you like them. Love grows with time and love at first sight isn’t real and fades out.

  • @dariaborbonus2557
    @dariaborbonus2557 Год назад +1

    I love to watch your videos so much! They always inspire me to think about my own life and my own mindset on things and to maybe change my perspective. Your fitness & diet videos also really motivate me to get more into fitness. I think you structure your videos very well and the way you explain things is so interesting that I (with attention deficit disorder) don’t have to force myself to concentrate on it bc it just comes from alone. You’re such a great content creator!

  • @elinat2414
    @elinat2414 Год назад +7

    From watching this video, the impression is that you're not ready for a relationship yet. That's not a bad thing, everyone is in a different stage in life.
    You said that you get most joy focusing on yourself and doing things for yourself. That's amazing and I think it's great to be at a point where you are focusing on your own growth.
    A relationship is being with a whole other person that also has needs, preferences and flaws. They are just as complex as you, and need as much from you as you do from them. When you are in a long term relationship, you have to consider the other person and cannot be solely doing things for yourself all the time (the way you can when single).
    I think you taking the time you need to focus on yourself is definitely the right decision, and you shouldn't feel pressured to follow anyone else's timeline. Whether you stay single or pursue a relationship, the most important thing isn't the specific decisions...but that this decision is intentional and authentic to you.

  • @iiiamyrxiii
    @iiiamyrxiii Год назад +6

    As a teenager who has never been in a relationship this video made me feel so much better like there's no rush. thank you

  • @borayeyo
    @borayeyo Год назад +3

    So many truths were spoken in this video! The majority of my friends are in relationships or are already married and with kids and they are looking at me like I need a fixing because I’m single. But also majority of these relationships are not to be envied. There are only few (no more than 5) pairs that I see as a nice healthy couples. The fact that I can do whatever I want whenever I want is so liberating. And also to be in a relationship only to have relationship is supertoxic. I rather be single than with somebody I’m not compatible with

  • @vortexvibes5944
    @vortexvibes5944 Год назад

    I’m living for so many clips of you doing stuff spliced into your video essays !

  • @chrysansilis
    @chrysansilis Год назад +1

    I love that this was posted a few days before Valentine’s Day ;,) Thank you❤

  • @milkbread5036
    @milkbread5036 Год назад +54

    I really enjoyed this! Amazing editing.
    My boyrfriend just broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I've never experienced this type of agony and grief. Literally feels like someone died.
    But looking back--- I was definitely giving my all and losing myself in the process and only getting breadcrumbs...
    So I'm learning to find myself again. I'm amazed at your introspection and fulfillment in yourself; truly inspiring

    • @Vardaman
      @Vardaman Год назад +6

      Been in the exact situation as you described it. The first 3 months really do feel like a grieving process and it sucks to go through but you’ll learn so much about yourself and become so strong

    • @eline_sandes
      @eline_sandes Год назад +2

      I've been there too and honestly it still hurts every once in a while just like any grieving process. Hope you find your healing and get your heart fixed soon

    • @milkbread5036
      @milkbread5036 Год назад +1

      @@eline_sandes thank you

    • @lougauchet142
      @lougauchet142 Год назад +2

      i figured that a breakup is grieving a version of u with ur partner so it really is a death i think

    • @milkbread5036
      @milkbread5036 Год назад +1

      @@lougauchet142 it really is. My whole life revolved around him, and one day he was gone.

  • @chickyaria6406
    @chickyaria6406 Год назад

    my fav series you've created

  • @JustNicole6400
    @JustNicole6400 Год назад +9

    Thank you for talking about this. I’m 27 and I’ve dated many people in situationships but I’ve never been in a serious one. People think I’m being picky but I’m really not 💀 not a single person I’ve been with has wanted to take the final step and commit. The pressure to be with someone is so intense that I felt something was wrong with me and had to seek therapy to repair my mental health. Dating apps are partly to blame too , people are afraid to commit nowadays because we feel like there are more options. Anyway, you’re not alone! We have to stay strong 😂

  • @phoenixainsworth6585
    @phoenixainsworth6585 Год назад +12

    Media has made us think that we need a romantic partner to be full filled, thing that has made a lot of harm. So sometimes I feel pretty bad for not being in a relationship (even when I've rejected every single being that has asked me out) and a few hours later I feel completely fine about being single.
    So yeah, kinda love/hate being single, but If I hadn't that idea of "you need a partner to be taken seriously in this world (or at least you must have had one)" so deep in my brain, I think that I would be pretty happy and satisfied with that part of my life, because honestly, if I don't think about it, I'm really happy about my actual state.

  • @jasminmarte277
    @jasminmarte277 Год назад +35

    I had never a bf until 21, and seeing others in my age in relationships I knew they would regret later made me feel good about not having a bf. I felt a lot just "took what they could get" to have the status "in a relationship", and I never wanted that.
    When I was 21, I got in a relationship with my bf and I am so happy looking back that I didn't even try to get a bf before that bc it would only have been wasted time for something I didn't really feel.

  • @Betterdanyou
    @Betterdanyou Год назад

    Your videos are my therapy. I sometimes feel so bad abt my self but then there’s your channel.Thank you so much Zoe ❤️

  • @yasminewells8045
    @yasminewells8045 Год назад +1

    This is much appreciated!! Never had a boyfriend at 25 and it actually doesn't bother me. I have things like work and school to focus on, and I enjoy discovering new things about myself now that I have some freedom. Occasionally I run into someone who tries to set me up with guys thinking I need to have a boyfriend. Not opposed to having a boyfriend but when every time someone wants to set me up it's because they think I can fix said guy and it's quite annoying. Knowing that it's totally okay to be single and normalizing it is a breath of fresh air :)

  • @archiveindex6659
    @archiveindex6659 Год назад +8

    I'm actually so happy to see this vid being made as I'm exactly in this situation. I'm 24 year old girl artist and in an Acting school in Lyon (France) and I've never been in a relationship or situationship with neither men nor women.
    ... And i've had tons of different reactions to this being said. Especially towards my sex life and what it entails to having never been with anyone for as long as 24 years. Varying from people plainly being indifferent, to people being kinda cheering for being patient, sympathetic like pitying to downright being shocked at it. Like a boy in my acting school, when I told him I never had anything with anyone he literally pushed it for 10 minutes long stating how weird and impossible it was for woman to be in this situation at 24 compared to a man....
    That was... kinda... huh.
    So yeah, for all my teenage years, I simply didn't care, I simply didn't want to force me because other people were doing it and decided to wait, and it was only later on when my social life grew with me moving away from my parents home at 19 that I started thinking that maybe something is wrong with me... and I still think that way somehow. People literally telling me that my standards are too high or that I'm not open enough for people to come in... and it feels so wrong that I have to look/ be a certain way for people to actually want to be beside me... especially when my real friends never asked me to change.
    Idk, I'm still fairly lost in how it all works but seeing you making such a video really comfort me that I'm not just some weirdo... especially seeing how I'm working hard into my own mindset of not thinking I'm a bad person which has been going for long enough. I want to love myself before giving my love to another person.
    I feel it's healthier.

  • @MatchaRam3n
    @MatchaRam3n Год назад +6

    And in some loving society, you can get ridiculed for staying single for too long.
    "What? You've never dated before? Something must be wrong with you."
    "Just lower your standards, don't be too picky"
    "You should be worried. You're at this age."

  • @bianca-bl8sf
    @bianca-bl8sf Год назад

    i truly needed this!! well, i've been dealing with this feeling for a while since all my friends are dating, but as i talk to my therapist things seem to make sense and i've been enjoying my time on my own, being less embarressed about the things that i like. i wouldn't mind being in a relationship, don't get me wrong, but it's not something i would prioritize over discover myself. if i meet someone, fine, we'll see how it goes.. if i don't, it's fine because i can always learn more about myself to the point that it's an interesting journey. i don't always think that way, but i'm working on being kind to myself the way i am to the people i care about!

  • @AnnieArissbae17
    @AnnieArissbae17 Год назад

    I love your videos, and also, thank u sm for sharing all of these amazing stories and opinions that I feel this is so educational for me, you are helping me to grow myself in self love and being happy for what I am, please don't stop doing this, you are an amazing person.
    Also thank u for the cc

  • @Yourrrr
    @Yourrrr Год назад +7

    Almost 24 and sammmee but I love it. It lowkey feels like a flex, if I ever do get into a relationship, he knows hes a top tier man to be my first bf at this point. If I never get into a relationship I’ll continue to live and die alone well respected, well loved and having lived my best life 🤭

  • @veronicacervantes3697
    @veronicacervantes3697 Год назад +5

    I feel so seen! Currently 25 and still single, never been in a relationship. I didn't even have a problem with being single until my little sister (4 years younger than me) got engaged two years ago. Then I felt pressure from everyone in my life. Everyone looked at me with pity, because I'm older... and I got caught up in the pressure. I tried dating twice. The first guy was a narcissist who just wanted a submissive wife (and I noped out of that quick). The second guy ghosted me. I felt like a failure, or like something was wrong with me. But after doing some soul searching, I think I just wanted to be in a relationship so I could finally satisfy everyone's expectations of me. Your video is a great reminder that I'm happy single. I love my friends, my family, my job. I have a great life. And until the right guy comes along, I'll keep enjoying my single life, and stop letting people's expectations ruin that happiness.

  • @illescsenge1536
    @illescsenge1536 Год назад

    You are so strong for not being in a relationship where you know your partner is not the best for you. Like I know a lot of people stay in bad relationships just to avoid being alone. So I think you are really strong! I hope something works out for you in your life!

  • @jaypop_dance
    @jaypop_dance Год назад +8

    I was single for 21 years, but now I'm with someone amazing! We are getting ready to have our 1 year anniversary tomorrow 😄💖 There is no rush at all. It is worth the wait to find someone who is right for you over being with someone that you know will only bring you heartbreak, or that you know is not a right fit.

  • @theherbalistsassistant
    @theherbalistsassistant Год назад +3

    being on the other end of the spectrum and leaving a 10 year relationship, this renewed my excitement over finally being single again. Thank you!❤

  • @rozuya2926
    @rozuya2926 Год назад +3

    You are SUCH A QUEEN!! this is the sort of stuff I used to tell my friends in high school and so on about. Just because others have relationships doesn’t mean you have to chase after one yourself, I remember been content and happy when I used to be single and things like valentines never upset me, because we would use days like that just to have a special day out with our friends or families and it was wonderful. It has been a while since I was last single. Currently still in a happy nearly 14 year relationship with my partner who I met when 15 years old. And I do love it, but it doesn’t change that I still believe that it is better in many ways to be single and make the most of your life, be happy and free, than just to settle with just anyone, as temporary happiness is NOT worth the heartbreak and the mental and physical toll it does to one self just to be in a relationship x

    • @sonicgalaxy27
      @sonicgalaxy27 Год назад

      I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks RUclipsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now.😞

  • @aimysmall4369
    @aimysmall4369 Год назад +1

    Wow, I really needed this video. A couple days ago I was dumped via text. I have daddy issues, so I tend to base my worth on mens approval. I had a realization today that there are so many people in my life who care about me much more than he ever did. And I need to make changes to love myself. My insecurities are what pushed him away, so it’s so true that you will not be happy in a relationship if you are not happy with yourself. Keep up the good work, your content really helps people ❤

  • @PetDKK
    @PetDKK Год назад

    Thank you so much for talking about this! You said many wise things. Also the way you edit your videos is just perfect! Give yourself a pat on the back. I am so happy there is a youtuber like you 😄

  • @tragical-history-tour
    @tragical-history-tour Год назад +9

    i'm 23 and single. i feel kind of frustrated that i'm still am and i really wouldn't mind being in a relationship. But growing up as a girl in quite a conservative family where i was told to "never talk to boys", i find i feel guilty for wanting to date, as if it's somethng "bad", that i'd be a slut if i "dare speak to men before marriage" or something stupid like that. honestly i'm really conflicted and idk what to do :C

    • @sonicgalaxy27
      @sonicgalaxy27 Год назад

      I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks RUclipsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now.😞

    • @Bllackstaarr
      @Bllackstaarr Год назад +2

      Girl, don't worry. Life goes so many ways. I'm your age and have been in a relationship for 6 years with someone older than me, I feel its mostly because I came from an unstable family and searched for a safe ground and comfort i never received home in a different person quickly. Over time, I can't say if I'm happy I've spent my late teenage years and early 20s in a relationship or if I regret it. It brought me a lot of good memories and the stability I seeked as well as a lot of pain and I didn't really have the time and ability to get to know myself and I'm making up for that now. What I'm trying to say is that everyone's story is different and there's no point in comparing yourself to others. As said in the video, the grass is always greener on the other side. Focus on yourself and nourishing friendships, your hobbies, living well in general. Try to bring fulfilment to yourself alone first and then maybe you will be able to share it with someone else too! It is easier said than done but I believe we both can work hard and be happy in the future, single or not. Have a great day ❤

  • @viannebinoche
    @viannebinoche Год назад +56

    I have been single untill 27. Then I met my boyfriend and I remember thinking 'this might be it'. This is ten years ago :) Not trying to say that the only 'happy ending' is finding a boyfriend. I'm just saying: YOU know what's best for you!

    • @Hi-ch1yk
      @Hi-ch1yk Год назад +1

      Where did you meet him 😢 I don't know where to look

    • @viannebinoche
      @viannebinoche Год назад +1

      @@Hi-ch1yk I met him through online dating 🙈 (not an app like tinder, but an actual datingwebsite).

  • @user-wp1dn7fd9w
    @user-wp1dn7fd9w Год назад

    This is the video I needed, Zoe. Your thoughts completely match mines and my feelings! I also am an introvert, that makes things even harder. But I won't erase myself to look normal in front of other people. ♥

  • @fairydream1105
    @fairydream1105 Год назад +2

    as someone in her teenage years, I thought I needed to be in a relationship to be happy, because of all the movies when people in high school always find love. I realized I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy I can make myself happy, thanks for this amazing video .

  • @ireneee8615
    @ireneee8615 Год назад +4

    I can see everybody in the comments being very supportive of the message, and I agree that it’s important to be independent and to have standard but you also need to remember that relationships are built over time and that people are imperfect (and dating apps can make you forget that). I don’t love to see influencers on social media preaching for “don’t set for the bare minimum”. People use different ways to communicate and have different love languages and sometimes you just need to give it time to understand each other’s. And not everything is a red flag. The one thing that scares me is that convincing yourself of not wanting a boyfriend could close you off from building meaningful connections (self fulfilling prophecy sort of things). I’ve been single for a year and I don’t miss having a partner since my life is already filled with beautiful things, but if anyone had to come into my life I would want to follow my gut rather than my head

  • @robin_silas
    @robin_silas Год назад +44

    I'm 26 and never had a relationship either. Do I feel like something is missing sometimes? Yes. But I'm not sure if it's because I'd like to be in a relationship or because I just feel a loser because I'm not in one. But honestly, most of the time, I just rather be alone than just date to date and end up losing my time just to be with someone that I'm not into.

  • @kmissoni6451
    @kmissoni6451 Год назад +2

    I am 27 and have been in relationships before and girl, it didn't get me anywhere and only heartbroken, so don't rush anything. You are probably doing the right thing.

  • @riyamajhi745
    @riyamajhi745 5 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you so much for this video. I tol feel the same way. This society has made me feel that not been in a relationship is not worth "living". I am happy being single. To be independent. I do not want to feel pressurized by this society. Thank you once again

  • @MONi_LALA
    @MONi_LALA Год назад +7

    Me too, girl. Ppl thought I was a freak for not dating anyone. I never touch a man, other than my family. I have too much to do and I don't have time for a heartbreak. I want someone but I don't want to risk my happiness to search for him.

  • @PettyBlue1
    @PettyBlue1 Год назад +6

    The best dating tip I've heard is not to take things too seriously. Nobody on earth can fulfill all your ideals and expectations. Better go by intuition - do you feel good about yourself when you are with him, or does he make you feel insecure? If so, forget him. But if you feel good, you only need to know if you can have fun together for 1 more hour. Then see if it could be one more hour. That's it!

  • @lauralalu6165
    @lauralalu6165 Год назад +2

    I really would have needed this video 2 years ago where my self worth was at its lowest. Today I know, how it feels to be loved. It doesn't change your life at all. But it allowed me to change my view about myself, love and getting to know someone. It stopped being a big deal.

  • @Tttt28882
    @Tttt28882 Год назад +2

    Girl… I‘ll be so happy for you when you find this guy you want to fit your requirements! I wish you a healthy and happy relationship!
    And for now I wish God bless you and that you keep on being good, nice and healthy to yourself! A tree might not grow healthy (or not even grow at all) in a damage place, right?! ❤

  • @Kalinel_
    @Kalinel_ Год назад +6

    I'm turning 24 this year and I'm in the same boat. Society makes us feel like there's something wrong with us, but I find comfort in the fact that this is way more common than we think. Thank you for making this video, I used to worry and cry so often about this over the years, but the journey to self love has been a great start towards finding my path in life.

  • @amy-rose7090
    @amy-rose7090 Год назад +5

    Thank you god sharing. I’m 23 and I’ve never had a bf or been on a date with anyone. There’s a lot of things I’ve never done and I really don’t know what to think about it, but it really helps to know I’m not alone ♥︎

  • @Klaudia-ry7pz
    @Klaudia-ry7pz Год назад +1

    exactly! i'm 18 and i've never had a boyfriend, i have love-hate relationship with being single, sometimes i just feel like i want someone to talk with, and sometimes i am fine with being with myself, i also don't really have friends (my bestie is literally my younger cousin, she's so close to me, but we don't see each other that often now) so that's kinda a tough topic to talk about for me, but your video literally made my day! i'm so grateful for you, you are doing amazing job, you actually are my comfort person on yt, thank you Zoe! xx

  • @nancysuarezjimenez22
    @nancysuarezjimenez22 Год назад +1

    Girl, we are on the same page ❤ You are not alone 😎 There are many of us that needed this reminder and I hope this is a reminder to you that being the way we are is healthy and a way we take care of our peace ❤

  • @khrystyna2706
    @khrystyna2706 Год назад +4

    guys, I love you all so much! reading about your experiences made me so much more comfortable and confident. we could choose hookups, horrible destructive partners, even abuse, but we chose ourselves.