I believe it's okay to be confident and positive in public, after all if it's just a dance in a corner of some train/station/place where you are not hitting anybody is okay. Basically with everything you do outside where other humans exist, Yes, some observers will cringe, some will feel envy and some will vocally or silently be happy for you. But all this "dancing in the tube" crosses to the narcissism side when the actions are done without caring about actively pushing or hitting people, or even taking space into places like entrances/exits where said dance WILL BE and actual inconvenience to others.
I don't think doing dance tiktoks in public equals to being confident. I can't rlly explain it but is just feels so wrong to be filming yourself like that 24/7 and I don't think it contributes anything useful to humanity. To me it seems more like bragging and being self-centered. Real confidence needs no attention. No hate against the people who do it tho, as long as they don't actively harass people, it's still their business.
i'm all for filming yourself in public if it's fun and makes you happy. but for me, it becomes a problem when you include random strangers in the video/photo without their consent or block space in public areas where regular people just want to get by and continue with their lives. there's definitely a way to do it, luckily I've seen some creators who are really respectful and socially aware
Exactly the problem isn’t just filming yourself in public but so many creators purposely film strangers in public without their consent to get a reaction, and I find that really disgusting to do. Someone’s just trying to live their normal life and an influencer who thinks the world belongs to them includes them in their video either to make fun of them or get a reaction just for attention
I agree, I live in a big popular city and I often have to do my best to avoid being filmed by other people because they start filming tiktoks in the middle of the street, subway, coffee shops etc. I just want to commute and enjoy my days off without having to hide my face from tiktoks ;;
When it's public, you have to assume you have no privacy. In the US, you have no right to privacy in public. And, if people are walking through your videos, that's their fault.
@@emajjamarie wtf it's not their fault if they are taking subway and appear in a random videos without asking, when you post something online you are responsable for who appears in your post
I wish this was a thing in the whole EU 😢 I've even been recorded while changing in my gyms locker room because a girl wanted to make an IG story. It's insane.
my problem isn't the action itself, it's the disregard for other people. we've entered a stage where people don't even consider people around them might not want to be on film. aside from that, blocking certain things people need access to can be not just annoying but distressing, especially when combined with the disregard for other people. so idk about narcissism but the level of antisocial behaviour has definitely gone up since tiktok trends became a thing. specifically tiktok, we didn't have this problem when instagram was the height of popularity. i do hope some visibly disabled people join the trend to shake things up though. i would but my disability makes me very invisible anyway
Have you ever seen those videos where people are trying to record smth in a public space but people keep ruining the shot (bc obviously they need to use that public space) and the person trying to film is visibly annoyed at other people for… using a public space? I agree that “antisocial behavior” is the perfect term to be used here. People just dont seem to know where their freedom stops and someone else’s freedom begins anymore. And that’s probably a consequence of a society who is socializing less and less in real life and more and more in a virtual space.
If she knocked over me, I‘d kick her in her back knees and film it while laughing at her. It‘s obnoxious and inherently egoistic to act like that in small and crowded places. If those influencers think they are entitled to act like that, then everyone should do that too and teach them a lesson why it‘s socially not accepted.
The reason it’s frowned upon to ‘take up space’ is because, in settings like this, there is only so much space and you are actively taking a disproportionate amount from other people. They can’t just change the channel, stop watching, or walk away. They are trapped. They shouldn’t have to ask to be deleted or not filmed. Filming people like this in the first place in a necessary, public, confined space should be illegal. If they want to do this at the mall, in a park, somewhere that people have an option to be, then they aren’t hurting anyone or forcing people to participate. The void that is these creators basic human respect is astounding. I’m sure they don’t mean to be harmful, but they need to learn the concept of time and place. Privileged people deeply out of touch with reality.
I wonder why people can't be confident without being obnoxious on public transit. Its not all about you all the damn time. If I was on the train that would annoy the hell out of me
yeah i would probably get tired of seeing people taking up space and being loud in a close public space for insignificant things like a tiktok dance, i feel like it's basic respect to not being loud in a train or something
I wish you could've gone deeper into the problem of constantly being filmed without consent, because to me, that's the biggest issue. Laws on being filmed/taken pictures of is probably different from country to country, but in my country (Norway) it is illegal to upload pictures of other people to the internet without their consent. Exception is in large public settings, as long as the person w/o consent is not in focus. With that you'd think "well, then it's fine when someone dances on the tube because they're the center of attention", well yes, until a creator edits their video and starts zooming in on bystanders' reactions, singling them out in the crowd. All the other things aside like public disturbance etc, I'd say that's a pretty serious problem.
Having to prove you are confident in this way, doesn't prove confidence, it actually scream narcissism! I definitely can go about my day being confident without having to film myself do random things in public...as do manh other peole 🤔
exactly, I know some people who constantly post their outfits, faces, videos where they only show themselves so that people can tell them how pretty they are, and for knowing them in real life I can tell they are not like that at all. They are insecure, shy, and don't clothe themselves as they do on the internet. They just want to get attention and compliments from others so that they can feel better about themselves. Like I think I'm pretty confident and I don't feel the need to post my face every time I do something just to prove I'm confident. I have nothing to prove.
For some people I think it’s just more of an exposure therapy. Not really to show it to others but more to yourself that it’s not that horrible when people stare at you and judge you, which I think is an interesting approach. I’ve heard of shy people overcoming their fears.
You are not thinking about neurodiverse people, as an autistic I can say that loud music and sudden movements can cause anxiety, sensory overload, etc. Public space should be friendly to everyone
Still, if the person is not invading your personal space, technically they are exercising their freedom. And the same way you want to be accommodated, they want too. You freedom stops where someone else’s begins. Now that might be hard to translate to practical terms but, as long as you are not forcing people to submit to your will (they are in a place they cant leave, or that openly forbids some forms of expression), there is not much you can do to impose your way. Thats way I believe its more realistic to have multiple different places in order to accommodate different needs (a place that caters to people with needs like yours, another place that accomodate people who want to express themselves more freely and loudly, etc). Bc at the end of the day, in order to have your needs met, someone else has to have their freedom limited, and vice versa. So i dont believe it’s possible to make “all places inclusive”
@@lalailm in a subway you can't live, even if you want to, specially if I have to go to work or something like that. Their freedom hurts me, my freedom just cause an inconvenience. I'm not taking about laws or rules, I'm taking about kindness
@@lalailmyou shouldn’t do that for the same reasons you are clearly et asked to not make phone calls or be loud in a train wagon. Idk if it is the same everywhere but on Europe in is indicated in our trains : if you want to make a call you need to go to a platform dedicated. You can’t just disturb people on a place that is not meant to be used for that. Trains, metro etc are used to get from a place to another, people who use transport don’t have the choice. Most of them don’t have the priviledge to have a license or a car. It is rude to make this stressful environnement even more stressful. I am not saying those girls shouldn’t enjoy their freedom or anything but when you want to make a video like that in a place that isn’t adequate, you can at least find a Time to make your video when no one is in the wagon. Just be kind and empathetic, you never know what a terrible day someone is going through or what type of anxiety or anything like that they can have
Dancing and waiving around in public spaces is the equivalent of listening to your favorite music out loud. It is not improper in itself, but disrespects people who otherwise wouldn't want to be involved in such affairs. Many take the subway because they can't afford a more private space like a cab, so, in the end, it's also a classism issue
Do you think being too loud in a restaurant just for the sake of being loud is annoying? yeah. Do you try to make people comfortable when you share a space? yeah. Why is it different when it is for TikTok? Great that they don´t feel social anxiety, but sorry not sorry if someone alse in the tube does have anxiety: imagine someone you don´t know, doing exagerated moves near you in a public setting, you not knowing how to react, her behaviour being out of the norm and therefore unpredictable (is she going to try and interact with the rest of the passengers?) and you becoming part of the ´background boring ugly people' does not feel good. But they better not be haters! Go tube girl slayyyy To the non very anxious people tube-girl is just meh, maybe annoying, makes you focus on her because you need to be aware of your soroundings (if she falls you will go help her for example). But for some people it makes them very uncomfortable.
Switch tube girl for a man and see how opinions change. People see men as much more threatening and wouldn't be nearly as willing to endorse such behaviour.
Even for people who don't have anxiety, it's just super disrespectful, filming strangers, making noises, play music, taking a lot of space, like can't you just shut up and sit until you get to your stop ?
I honestly think we are in the middle of a narcissistic epidemic. I had this conversation with my dad recently cause we've noticed that more and more young girls are constantly watching them in their phones, making cringe poses in the middle of the street, restaurants, museums and wherever they can. Which is honestly completely ridiculous and sometimes even disrespectful. On public transport, at least where I live, you're not allowed to make too much noise, play music, that sort of thing, out of respect for other people, and I find it super annoying that everywhere I go there's always a person to film themselves and others. I just don't want to be on your videos and to appear on your social media, without even knowing it ! And for the confidence aspect I just can't agree. It's not because you're confident that you have to put every single thing you do on the internet. I think it's the opposite, those who do it don't have confidence in themselves, or lack attention, ok they do it for themselves, but simply because they like the attention it gives them and the compliments they get from doing it. Moreover we have a life outside social media, we're not forced to put ourselves in the internet to have confidence and this obsession with tik tok, instagram stories, and being constantly pretty in order to take photos just to show to people you don't know that you're pretty is super toxic. It literally becomes an obsession and this is not a good thing. So yes people are becoming narcissistic.
Agree. I always cringe at videos of women going down the street and then description "everyone is looking at me" - yes they do because someone follows you with camera and you try to walk like the model near supermarket lol. So full of themselves, they think everyone is just admiring them and they are the center of the world.
The thing that I love about the internet is how through everyone’s point of view and opinion we can really think about relevant topics like this more spherically
tube girls wouldn't be dancing on the tube if they're not be filmed, at the end of the day, they're only doing that for a tiktok, for people to compliment them on how "confident" they are, and that, is narcissism.
narcism is a personality disorder so I don't like that people use the term so easily but I agree with the rest of your comment, how can you do it for yourself if you only do it if you film a tiktok? it doesn't make sense, they only do this for people seeing it online, it's not the end of the world but it's hypocrite to pretend it's only for themselves
I think the only real problem is if the influencer doesn't consider other people as you pointed out. Like taking up too much space or filming other people without concent.
Tbh its mad rude to just video tape yourself with no care of who ends up in that video. Lets ignore the fact that its just obviously wrong to record strangers, but tiktok is a HUGE platform. So someone looking off on the PLANE will get roasted in the comments, thats damaging to someones health. As someone who has struggled with body image heavily, i would literally cry if that happened to me.
Maybe this tube girl doesn't have a social anxiety, but others can have it. For me underground overall is place that make me anxious (crowds, time limits, too many sounds, movements even smells sometimes) and seeing girly, who have a loud music, filming ( and you most certainly will be in shot), and doing unpredictable action is extremely triggering. I don't say that her action will lead to my anxiety attack, but it will definitely make me (and people like me) extremely uncomfortable. I know that my mental problems are my problems, and no one should consider it. But many people don't have a choice : I don't have a driving license and my family don't own car, I have no other choice but use public transportation and things like this make whole experience even more unpleasant than it's already is.
even without any anxiety disorder or mental health problem i'm 100% sure that this situation is deeply annoying for most of people for a lot of reason too
You should also talk about the "main character trend" online. I think everyone who says it's their main girl era is deeply insecure. Why? Because everyone is the main character of their lives,it's not a phase, it's not an era, it IS your life, your story. So why do you need to film this one moment of you being happy and realising your worth online and affirm to yourself with public validation "in my main character era". It just seems like these people are only thinking about themselves that they're the main character of their lives as well as other people's lives. It comes off as immature and cringey, we're not teenagers anymore.
I hate the ones that are filimg and blocking an area people need to cross through. Also they dont ask for peoples consent to appear in thier video. Most of these people who are conducting this trend suck.
I feel like it’s one of those things that we’ll look back on and be like “Wow… we really did that?” Kinda like everything people used to do on musically
As a german, i find it very disturbing how people act in public. In Germany it's just not liked if you are loud/obnoxious/etc. And I feel that deeply, you can talk, sure, but please just act as lowkey as possible, it's stressing for others. ITS SELFISH for us, we want peace and you can DO THAT in your own home! And it could even lead to accidents (how the girl jumped/danced infront of the stairway, a clash could easily happen with people who are in a rush!!!). I hate that kind of people, tbh. it's not confidence, confidence is not that loud and in your face, at least in my opinion. Maybe the reason why i never post my face on socials or even post anything... i know who i am, i'm not defined through the eyes and attention of others. Of course it's fine if you film videos, don't get me wrong, and if you have fun etc with it.. but this is different. It's just obnoxious and people should be left alone in public spaces, bc, like the name says, its for everyone and u should act accordingly.
I disagree that they’re filming videos without harming anyone else. Yes they may not be physically hurting someone or shouting offensive things, but they’re making everyone around them uncomfortable and putting them in an awkward situation that they shouldn’t expect to be in on their busy commute to work. What makes them a narcissist is putting their need for attention over EVERYONE else’s right to just exist comfortably in a public space. A better example than tube girl is that TikTok where the guy was travelling and staying in a hostel and there were 2 girls staying up filming videos till 3 in the morning in the same room were multiple other people were sleeping? I think a lot of people can look at that and more clearly say that those girls were behaving like narcissists because they didn’t care about the other guests in the hostel AT ALL. However, I would bet every penny in my bank account that those girls wouldn’t agree. I also bet there would be a bunch of other people, probably tube girl, who also wouldn’t agree. The line is just going to keep getting pushed. Also you mentioned blurring people’s faces, but none of those videos on the actual tube had any of the members of the publics faces blurred 😂 it’s unfortunately not standard influencer procedure when it really should be.
I like that you're bringing up NPD, I wish you had mentioned that only about 0,5% of the population actually have it though, because people seem to think it is a lot more widespread than it actually is. Narcissism is a spectrum however, and the social media generation may be higher on it in general. NPD is in the extreme end of the spectrum, where these people don't even know who they are and what they're feeling most of the time. So great video, I just wish you cleared that up a little more☺️
yeah, i feel like people are blurring the lines between NPD and just plain old... selfishness. It's a normal thing for people to be a little selfish some of the time, because, well... they are themselves. We are the only person who's emotions and physical states you can FEEL. And we are stuck with ourselves 24/7. OF COURSE people are gonna put more thought into themselves than they do other people. NPD is an extreme version of this and I don't think its 'popularity' lately is actually justified. ...I hope what i said made sense ahahah. Let me know if what i'm saying is unclear or straight up incorrect
On one side: 1. They don't mean any harm 2. The first person to do it was trying to normalize doing cringe things in public 3. You can't call someone a narcissit just because they recorded a video on the other side: 1. It doesn't matter if they didn't mean any harm if they, indeed, did it 2. Social etiquette IS important, should be mandatory 3. Respecting other people's personal space should also be "common sense" and I'm tired of people who pretend being obnoxious just to get away with incorrect behaviour So I'd say I'm more against this trend.
What I don't like about this trend is that is made on places like public transport, if it was in a park or something like that I have no problem, but in public transport most people are just tired and want to have a peaceful trip to their home. Being loud and maybe even touching people while moving when it's crowded is really disrespectful. It's like when someone is watching videos in a loud volume or even listening to music without earphones. I mean, sometimes you are not in the mood for that and it's totally okay. People in public transport have their own lifes and maybe one of them is going back home after a really tiring day or even going to the hospital to see a person they love who is about to die, I know it sound like an extreme situation but there are many people in there and most of them prefer a peaceful trip. This is not a role model to follow because it basically encourages being an annoying person. In this trend the more annoying you are, the more views and positive comments about your confidence you get. We all want to be respected when we are tired and we are not supposed to deal with a girl dancing in a bus when there is no personal space.
Funnily enough my wife has narcissistic personality disorder. As much as I hate this kind of social media self obsession, narcissism has hurt me so badly that I find this stuff pretty low priority. The real scary shit is having to live and work with someone highly narcissistic. People think the self obsession and entitlement are bad. But it's the manipulation, smear campaigns, and gaslighting that really do the damage. Its worth looking up narcissistic abuse. Lots of people are dating narcissists or have narcissistic parents and don't know it. Especially the covert kind who are self obsessed but not in the obvious way, they tend to play the victim more than the amazing cool person so its harder to see. My wife gaslit, guilt tripped and emotionally abused me for years and it's only when she herself figured out ber abusive mum had something like NPD that I began to realise she did too. She was just more subtle about it. Look it up if you're in a difficult relationship. NPD often flies under the radar because they're not usually violent so people don't realise they're being abused.
i'm so sorry you have had to deal with that :( Is she still doing all these behaviours? If so, is there a reason you're still staying in the marraige? It sounds like a painful thing to deal with
I saw a great tiktok on this, the guy was saying how the virtual currency of social media and what that brings (views, money, opportunities) is starting to outweigh the social currency of being embarrassed/cringe
Great discussion, Zoe! Really got me thinking. It is easy to judge social media posts, but at the end of the day, a lot of what you’ve shown seems mostly just for fun.. the real narcissism epidemic (which I do think is a legit phenomenon) plays out IRL in everyday interactions.
but when they film tiktok like that they actually interact with real people, they are in a public space, it's also real life and a part of everyday interaction people have
This video missed the mark for me. Filming yourself in the aisle of a plane or on a subway is annoying. You're taking up limited physical space, filming in public and playing music that other people have no choice but to listen to. Plus, if you're focused on filming and dancing, you can't really be aware of the people around you who may need to get to their stop or just don't want to be filmed. It's cringe because it's disrespectful. Those girls mimicking the tube girl trend on a rockface or in a park aren't the same. There's either no one in the background or people can easily move away. There's a current TikTok trend about how Genz isn't going to get roasted by Gen Alpha and letmetellyou...one of the first things they will make fun of is their lack of self-awareness in public. Especially in situations where the etiquette is to think about how your behaviour affects other people.
This makes for an interesting situation. On one hand they aren't hurting anyone (because it's just a silly dance), but on the other, I felt kind of uneasy looking at these videos, and realizing why it's uncomfortable. It's the fact that they are in a confined and public space, that welcomes everyone, until you feel unwelcomes when someone else is invading too much space and gives you the opposite of confidence. It makes others (like me) feel UNconfident and bad for somehow feeling like I'm invading "their personal space" by just using the space as intended.
In some ways, society is more judgemental, but over petty things. Cringe and narcissist are thrown around way too casually. In other ways, society is less judgemental. After all, it used to be illegal for interracial and same sex couples to get married. Society is a product of life and life is defined by complexity.
Interesting video that got me thinking again. I am so far away from filming myself in public. After four years in a wheelchair I still have social anxiety going outside. And yes, I saw a video or two. Didn’t know what the trend was until know. What got me thinking even more is how different the perception of our society and social etiquette is depending on how much you are watching or are involved in social media. What would for example a frail grandmother or grandfather think if a young girl starts to film herself in front of them dancing? I definitely think about the people around me. And in Germany privacy protection laws are very clear. You can’t film someone without their given consent. I have no idea how the trend is doing here. I am very sure it’s out there.
I do think that the trend is cringe but it’s definitely not narcissism.That term is has been thrown around incorrectly recently and you can’t just say that someone is a narcissist because they filmed a tube dance video
Agreed. The term has been completely emptied of its real meaning now. At least if we are considering how the term has been applied so far. Although I do think the recent generations are more self centered and individualists than ever before, slapping the label “narcissistic” just seems lazy to me, idk
This trend also reminds me of the way some influencers pose for their pictures with lens distortion. It alters your body in an unrealistic way. Stephanie Lange made a video on this.
I think Sabrina's initial intentions weren't to get popular but to try and normalize just doing "cringe" things in public. I do realize the trend isn't for everyone because _society_ . But it feels inauthentic and manufactured now. Another creator I follow really promoted the sentiment of "it's only embarrassing if you let it embarass you", which I agree. There's nuances. Like Sabrina only filmed herself and didn't create distress to others, while others do film others and block paths and are just annoying. We can't all be main characters because that's just not how it works.
Imho public spaces are just that: public. They're meant to be shared respectfully and ideally equally. But that's not what tube-ers are doing. They are monopolizing public spaces at the expense of other people with the terrible cherry on top that only *some* people can get away with that brand of selfishness without being societally punished in very real and dangerous ways. The willingness to engage in disruptive behavior driven mainly by ones own ego is based on how 'socially desirable' they are which is often just an external manifestation of the priviledge they are already used to.
to be honestly i would probably get tired of seeing people taking up space and being loud in a close public space for insignificant things like a tiktok dance i feel like it's a basic respect to not being loud or annoying in a public transport
this is my comment prior to having watched this video (i will watch it) why? just for fun.. my thought is: we have created this JOB of being a youtuber and vlogging... you can literally become a billionaire and live in large over the top apartment in NYC just for sharing your life. whatever this life is. putting on makeup. getting coffee. gaming. sharing your outfit... like the typical "day in the life" vlogger.... and this job, first of all: 1: forces YOU to become self centered. you are out and about with your friend at a café but oh no! now there is a camera, your friend can't go anywhere with you, without being filmed, your friend's mind is clearly on herself, and capturing the right angles. pretending to just have a casual convo, but it's filmed. this creates such a disconnect. 2: you start to think, that you ARE the center of the universe. anywhere you go, it feels more important - you have ARRIVED - bc you are filming it for your audience. you even start to go to places, you would never go to were it not capturing it for profit. everyone starts to think they are in their own movie, and that instead of connecting with others, keeping things private, and living your life normally as part of the crowd, putting others first, you think everything is about YOU. i think it's great that these alternative jobs exist, despite how i think it's a bit unfair you can become rich for just existing and vlogging it, but i also think these jobs have really damaged society. like think about it... there are SO MANY vloggers. there are so many just oversharing everything. ( don't even get me started on family vloggers... sharing their child to the world - without the child's consent. ) Why are we so scared of not being SEEN by the entire world of strangers? is it not enough to be seen by a few real people who truly love you? why is that not enough.... narcissistic traits CAN be fixed. if it's not full on a personality disorder, then there is still hope. you can change. life isn't all about YOU dear vlogger. (not pointing at Zoe here fyi in case that wasn't obvious. talking about the general "you")
It's capitalism doing capitalism. In a system based on infinite growth we always need to find new ways of making profit or the system crashes. It's no surprise we are now able/forced to monetise our very existence and our personalities. It's alright now, but in the long run it's really bad for the human mind and soul. The mental health epidemic is directly linked to falling wages and rising social media use. We need to reverse these trends.
I just can't wrap my mind around why people obsessively think that in order to be seen as a confident person you need to rotate the camera like crazy in front of yourself in the tube. Why do people overall think that you need to do all those crazy things in public in order to be seen as a confident person, I've never understood that and guess never will. Does it mean I'm not confident if I don't film in public and just don't want to draw much attention towards me? No, of course not! Because I know my value and I don't need other people's validation to be confident. Confidence is silent.
I have been her subscriber for sometime now. Because, I actually believed that doing 16 hr fasting will allow me to eat whatever I like without any restriction. This caused me to gain so much weight. I used to maintain a healthy weight before with my regular lifestyle.
❤❤❤ I have been watching your videos since forever, but because of the way you present your ideas and opinions weather or not I agree with them doesn't matter and would still keep watching which I think is a great skill which you have mastered .I really like this video and just keep going to be honest cuz your videos are vary intertaning ❤❤❤
As someone who is generation X I don't get these trends. Why? Why not really do something useful? Like, learn to cook, paint, learn other languages, took courses to help people, help animals, nature... There are many ways to be happy and being noticed on social media for being "loud" in public is so not one of them. For someone middle-aged as me, it just looks stupid and totally useless. For example, on YT you will find millions of quite useful videos about everything. People invest their time and knowledge to learn something and share it. Being young and born pretty and being nuance in public by attracting attention is not confidence or of use to anyone. Maybe it's even harmful because not everyone looks like those people and it spreads a lot of unnecessary insecurities among young people. But as someone from generation where looks weren't THAT important I can tell you that is quite wrong and it is harmful. Also, you expose yourself to many vile people on internet who can't wait but to insult you or try to hurt you in many ways. Every person who published anything on social media received some insults from insecure individuals who under anonymity love to put others down. A lot of girls I saw online cried and took those comments seriously, although it was pure garbage. In short, get of the freaking social media and freaking just LIVE! Life is SHORT, trust the older lady! Live it while you can!
nobody is saying people can’t “be themselves” but why can’t they be themselves without recording ? it’s like just live your life without the camera always in your face
I think tik tok is just a more readily available to individuals to create content then it was in the 2000's/90's. Like we've had in the past flash mobs, tv shows we're people volunteer to be documented or 'glowed up', funniest home video shows, reality tv - all of these are pretty similar to content shared online. I think most people want the chance to be 'famous', so tik tok has made it more readily available to become 'famous'
This reminds me of those videos of small groups of guys doing dancing or Parkour on the subway and I don't recall this sort of massive and critical discourse coming out of it (granted I'm not on tiktok, perhaps I missed something). They were allowed to take up space, both on the subway and on social media. And people said it was cool. Some people might argue that if you do it with friends it's ok, if you're on your own it's narcissistic or cringe - but why? The goal is the same: get clicks on your social media. Dancing on the tube by yourself is a decidedly un-British thing to do but that's also just a random social norm that has little logical basis. I personally prefer quiet environments but we live in a society etc.
I honestly think everyone just wants to feel special. Most people are not narcissistic, that diagnosis gets tossed around to every insufferable person we see lol but they’re mostly trying to get attention to feel special. Everyone is special and has a need to feel special but ppl are going about it the wrong way. It’s essential to know how to express yourself but following a trend doesn’t do your need to feel special good in the long run. You gotta find what actually MAKES you feel special not what gives you instant sm gratification. For me being recognized for my work and by the people I dearly admire makes me feel special and I know that. Most people don’t and that’s what we have an abundance of running around on sm. I wonder if tube girl even asked the guy who she initially asked to record her his name and how he was doing or anything socializing before she asked him to take her phone and record her dancing in the wind? And to add, when these people finish making their video do they sit down and look at their phone? Probably…..and that’s the problem 🚨 the “socialize with the person you see on the tube everyday” challenge will never go viral bc people are so into their phones and trending on sm than actually watching their surroundings they don’t even know how to talk to people, they lack conversation skills, and basic social skills in general. I notice it, then they want to go “oh I feel so cringe speaking to someone I don’t know” but will get on sm and tell their entire business to thousands of people who they don’t know. Speaking from experience, working with the public, a lot of people have little to no social skills and that’s where the cringe comes in for me. We are moreso connected online than in real life. Guys today don’t want to approach girls unless it’s through a dm and “cringe” or become anxious at the thought of approaching someone they like in real life. Sm has weakened us mentally in a lot of ways. If we had better social skills we would have better communication and thus understanding. But we don’t and it’s sad to watch. We need more love and understanding in real life. We need more confidence in real life. No one on sm talks about the inner self work that needs to be done in real life. The same girl you see dancing on a train will not lift a finger to help someone who seems lost in the tube, if she even notices them at all, not bc she is lazy or doesn’t care, but bc for a lot of them talking to a stranger, is “cringe”, they get embarrassed by it bc it actually requires you to be more vulnerable and accept a reaction you might not understand. Weird times we are living in truly. I was walking into a mall and an old lady was leaving out and her shirt was life 1/4 unbutton and her bra was showing ore than it should, I immediately told her and she actually asked me to help her button it (I’m a girl btw) so I immediately buttoned like 2 buttons, enough so her chest was no longer showing and she thanked me and went about her way but I’m like this woman has been in stores shopping and probably up and down this mall and I know I am not the only one who saw her bra hanging out of her shirt and no one stopped to tell her? Let alone help her. Like that’s the world we live in today. It’s become the real cringe. Even reading that I’m sure people would think it’s cringe but it’s real life and I’d rather confront a cringe situation to give someone their dignity than to ignore it bc I can’t socialize in real life.
I think this trend is so fucking bizarre and you would have to pay me a lot of money to do this even once BUT it's also really interesting, because it shows that what's trending online, isn't necessarily considered "cool" in the real world. I bet most people would judge the "tube girl", if they would see one on the actual tube. Most of us wouldn't think it's cool or admirable. Online on the other hand, tube girl content is doing great and gets millions of likes. The bar for what's considered cringy or even unacceptable (filming strangers that probably don't want to be on tube girl tiktok) is just so much higher online than it is in reality.
Yeah I can't agree on this one. I've been recorded on the ~ n u d e ~on my gym's locker room without constent because an obnoxious gurlie needed some internet validation. I'm tired of this bs.
The double standards thing is absolutely a fact. Lest we forget Elijah McClain had the police called on him and murdered for dancing in public. And, most of the tube girls absolutely do not care about other people not wanting to be filmed, because if they did, they wouldn’t film on an inescapable place like a train, and they definitely dont blur background faces. And, ive been to NYC and seen people filming in the streets and they were absolutely in the way of others without a care in the world.
As someone with a different personalitly disorder i just want to add that every person has traits of every personality disorder to some degree. It`s a disorder when specific variables are extremely pronounced. I actally hate that people say that a narcicist do something to make it seem bad. It`s a disorder and the stigma is so fucking bad right now. No, most people aren`t narcicists and no being a narcicist doesn`t make you a bad person.
Actually "narcissism epidemic" is nothing new, having more or less narcissistic traits was common amongst the artists in the turn of 19th and 20th century during an era we call la belle epoque, and it somewhat intersects with the dandy culture. One example of this is the Portrait of Dorian Gray (of course it has other interpretations too).
Person saying “conservative politics is narcissistic” but also “too many regular people criticizing me are narcissists”? Yes, that is a double standard.🤷♂️
To be honest, i don't think the tube girl trend is bad. They look like they are having fun but sometimes i did cringe, and I had to ask myself if i was just feeling triggered because I couldn't imagine myself being that confident or if it was genuinely cringe. But let people have fun especially if they aren't bothering anyone. The reason why I have been feeling weird posting on social media and being an influencer is because I often question, "Who is this for?" In an age where not posting makes you wonder if it actually happened if no one is reacting to it. It makes you wonder
There’s the embodiment of confidence that causes healthy self expression that is feel is normal But these people, it’s not confidence coming from the internal.. you can tell there’s a void and the theatrics are them compensating for that But then I wonder.. do we just have people who exist that have a lot of energy that need to be seen? Does it always come from insecurity or do you think certain people are just born for fame and being in the spotlight I don’t know 🤷♀️ I do know that regardless of your intention there needs to be respect of other people’s personal space. That’s where my problem is
They come off as selfish and annoying to me honestly, taking up space and forcing random people to be in the background of your video isn't cute. If you don't show anyone in the background, it's completely okay for me. It's not the worst thing ever either but it's sad and cringe how everyone these days want to be the "main character" (aka the center of attention) so bad. It's like we're drifting further from reality by constantly acting in front of the camera lol
People have been dancing and performing in public since the dawn of civilization. Its called street performers. I think the difference here is that the "perfomer" is excluding the people around in favor of an online audience. It makes the whole thing out of context. Dancing and singing is a beautiful social activity but when you exclude people in your physical space in favor of a phone i think it can trigger something primal here, that this person is not connected and sharing with the "tribe"... Ive seen performers in nyc subways BBoying gymnastic and break dance for the crowd, and I loved it. People gave them lots of money. So i think its less about dancing in public and more about the shallowness and exclusion of these "tube girls" But whatever, they are just kids playing around, i dont really mind. But if these girls like performing in public so much, they should just learn to juggle or breakdance or something, and get paid actual money instead of with "likes" ...
Zoe, can you talk about Kpop, k-dramas, C-dramas industries and theirs effect on the young generation like dream jobs and body ashaming etc, and your opinion on this, I would like to know it.
Main character for me would be great if we treat it as we are main characters in OUR lives, not everyone's. I see a lot of videos where girl dresses super nice, and they call her main character. Like what? Others are "less character" "less important" because they didn't spend 4hours in the morning for their looks? Sick generation
Narcissism doesn’t automatically mean you lack empathy. In fact, it’s the opposite in many cases.. you know exactly how other people think and feel and you manipulate that to make others feel good about you. You don’t lack the ability to feel empathy, you lack the ability to care that you’re feeling it.
Nah. It's cringe. And also, for me who hates crowded spaces and noises, please let me pretend I am alone when I use public transports and don't be a nuisance.
Ah yes, lets defend filming yourself doing a crappy dance in a confined space where people can hardly step put of the way even if they want to. It's not confidence, its just being shamelessly cringe and begging for attention in doing so.
Thoughts on the tube-ification of our culture?
It's for the kids.
I think confidence is great as long as it isn’t harming anyone
I believe it's okay to be confident and positive in public, after all if it's just a dance in a corner of some train/station/place where you are not hitting anybody is okay. Basically with everything you do outside where other humans exist, Yes, some observers will cringe, some will feel envy and some will vocally or silently be happy for you. But all this "dancing in the tube" crosses to the narcissism side when the actions are done without caring about actively pushing or hitting people, or even taking space into places like entrances/exits where said dance WILL BE and actual inconvenience to others.
cringe
I don't think doing dance tiktoks in public equals to being confident. I can't rlly explain it but is just feels so wrong to be filming yourself like that 24/7 and I don't think it contributes anything useful to humanity. To me it seems more like bragging and being self-centered. Real confidence needs no attention. No hate against the people who do it tho, as long as they don't actively harass people, it's still their business.
i'm all for filming yourself in public if it's fun and makes you happy. but for me, it becomes a problem when you include random strangers in the video/photo without their consent or block space in public areas where regular people just want to get by and continue with their lives. there's definitely a way to do it, luckily I've seen some creators who are really respectful and socially aware
Exactly the problem isn’t just filming yourself in public but so many creators purposely film strangers in public without their consent to get a reaction, and I find that really disgusting to do. Someone’s just trying to live their normal life and an influencer who thinks the world belongs to them includes them in their video either to make fun of them or get a reaction just for attention
Word
I agree, I live in a big popular city and I often have to do my best to avoid being filmed by other people because they start filming tiktoks in the middle of the street, subway, coffee shops etc. I just want to commute and enjoy my days off without having to hide my face from tiktoks ;;
When it's public, you have to assume you have no privacy. In the US, you have no right to privacy in public. And, if people are walking through your videos, that's their fault.
@@emajjamarie wtf it's not their fault if they are taking subway and appear in a random videos without asking, when you post something online you are responsable for who appears in your post
The thing is, people are starting to value their online presence more than their offline presence. They also disregard the real life people as 'NPCs'.
Well said... 👏🏽 it's okay to be "cool" online, but I wish people cared about their offline personalities just as much.
Im so glad I live in Germany where it’s illegal to post any videos with strangers on the video without their consent
I wish this was a thing in the whole EU 😢 I've even been recorded while changing in my gyms locker room because a girl wanted to make an IG story. It's insane.
my problem isn't the action itself, it's the disregard for other people. we've entered a stage where people don't even consider people around them might not want to be on film. aside from that, blocking certain things people need access to can be not just annoying but distressing, especially when combined with the disregard for other people. so idk about narcissism but the level of antisocial behaviour has definitely gone up since tiktok trends became a thing. specifically tiktok, we didn't have this problem when instagram was the height of popularity.
i do hope some visibly disabled people join the trend to shake things up though. i would but my disability makes me very invisible anyway
Have you ever seen those videos where people are trying to record smth in a public space but people keep ruining the shot (bc obviously they need to use that public space) and the person trying to film is visibly annoyed at other people for… using a public space?
I agree that “antisocial behavior” is the perfect term to be used here. People just dont seem to know where their freedom stops and someone else’s freedom begins anymore. And that’s probably a consequence of a society who is socializing less and less in real life and more and more in a virtual space.
Someone did that tube girl thing in my train and she knocked over a lady while dancing and recording.
oh wow 💀
Someone did it yesterday in mine and she insulted the men who complained about her 💀
If she knocked over me, I‘d kick her in her back knees and film it while laughing at her. It‘s obnoxious and inherently egoistic to act like that in small and crowded places. If those influencers think they are entitled to act like that, then everyone should do that too and teach them a lesson why it‘s socially not accepted.
@@Mondscheinstaubyou don't see anything obnoxious and egocentric about kicking someone and laughing at them while recording?
@@lemon7107lmao
The reason it’s frowned upon to ‘take up space’ is because, in settings like this, there is only so much space and you are actively taking a disproportionate amount from other people. They can’t just change the channel, stop watching, or walk away. They are trapped. They shouldn’t have to ask to be deleted or not filmed. Filming people like this in the first place in a necessary, public, confined space should be illegal. If they want to do this at the mall, in a park, somewhere that people have an option to be, then they aren’t hurting anyone or forcing people to participate. The void that is these creators basic human respect is astounding. I’m sure they don’t mean to be harmful, but they need to learn the concept of time and place. Privileged people deeply out of touch with reality.
filming people without their consent is already illegal
I wonder why people can't be confident without being obnoxious on public transit. Its not all about you all the damn time. If I was on the train that would annoy the hell out of me
yeah i would probably get tired of seeing people taking up space and being loud in a close public space for insignificant things like a tiktok dance,
i feel like it's basic respect to not being loud in a train or something
👏👏
Yes
SAME!! You really think everyone is just a supporting character or some shit?? GTFO
I wish you could've gone deeper into the problem of constantly being filmed without consent, because to me, that's the biggest issue. Laws on being filmed/taken pictures of is probably different from country to country, but in my country (Norway) it is illegal to upload pictures of other people to the internet without their consent. Exception is in large public settings, as long as the person w/o consent is not in focus. With that you'd think "well, then it's fine when someone dances on the tube because they're the center of attention", well yes, until a creator edits their video and starts zooming in on bystanders' reactions, singling them out in the crowd. All the other things aside like public disturbance etc, I'd say that's a pretty serious problem.
all of her videos are very surface-level. she doesn't do much research and just regurgitates the current tiktok or twitter trend
@@carinag4635si no te gusta entonces hace vos tus propios videos con toda la información que te parezca necesaria y no vengas a joder acá
@@carinag4635you just wrote my comment for me 😂
Having to prove you are confident in this way, doesn't prove confidence, it actually scream narcissism!
I definitely can go about my day being confident without having to film myself do random things in public...as do manh other peole 🤔
exactly, I know some people who constantly post their outfits, faces, videos where they only show themselves so that people can tell them how pretty they are, and for knowing them in real life I can tell they are not like that at all. They are insecure, shy, and don't clothe themselves as they do on the internet. They just want to get attention and compliments from others so that they can feel better about themselves. Like I think I'm pretty confident and I don't feel the need to post my face every time I do something just to prove I'm confident. I have nothing to prove.
To me it just seems insecurity lol why do you *neeed* to do this otherwise?
For some people I think it’s just more of an exposure therapy. Not really to show it to others but more to yourself that it’s not that horrible when people stare at you and judge you, which I think is an interesting approach. I’ve heard of shy people overcoming their fears.
You are not thinking about neurodiverse people, as an autistic I can say that loud music and sudden movements can cause anxiety, sensory overload, etc. Public space should be friendly to everyone
Thank you for adding that! Definitely an important point
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still, if the person is not invading your personal space, technically they are exercising their freedom. And the same way you want to be accommodated, they want too. You freedom stops where someone else’s begins. Now that might be hard to translate to practical terms but, as long as you are not forcing people to submit to your will (they are in a place they cant leave, or that openly forbids some forms of expression), there is not much you can do to impose your way. Thats way I believe its more realistic to have multiple different places in order to accommodate different needs (a place that caters to people with needs like yours, another place that accomodate people who want to express themselves more freely and loudly, etc). Bc at the end of the day, in order to have your needs met, someone else has to have their freedom limited, and vice versa. So i dont believe it’s possible to make “all places inclusive”
@@lalailm in a subway you can't live, even if you want to, specially if I have to go to work or something like that. Their freedom hurts me, my freedom just cause an inconvenience. I'm not taking about laws or rules, I'm taking about kindness
@@lalailmyou shouldn’t do that for the same reasons you are clearly et asked to not make phone calls or be loud in a train wagon. Idk if it is the same everywhere but on Europe in is indicated in our trains : if you want to make a call you need to go to a platform dedicated. You can’t just disturb people on a place that is not meant to be used for that. Trains, metro etc are used to get from a place to another, people who use transport don’t have the choice. Most of them don’t have the priviledge to have a license or a car. It is rude to make this stressful environnement even more stressful. I am not saying those girls shouldn’t enjoy their freedom or anything but when you want to make a video like that in a place that isn’t adequate, you can at least find a Time to make your video when no one is in the wagon. Just be kind and empathetic, you never know what a terrible day someone is going through or what type of anxiety or anything like that they can have
Dancing and waiving around in public spaces is the equivalent of listening to your favorite music out loud. It is not improper in itself, but disrespects people who otherwise wouldn't want to be involved in such affairs. Many take the subway because they can't afford a more private space like a cab, so, in the end, it's also a classism issue
Do you think being too loud in a restaurant just for the sake of being loud is annoying? yeah. Do you try to make people comfortable when you share a space? yeah. Why is it different when it is for TikTok?
Great that they don´t feel social anxiety, but sorry not sorry if someone alse in the tube does have anxiety: imagine someone you don´t know, doing exagerated moves near you in a public setting, you not knowing how to react, her behaviour being out of the norm and therefore unpredictable (is she going to try and interact with the rest of the passengers?) and you becoming part of the ´background boring ugly people' does not feel good.
But they better not be haters! Go tube girl slayyyy
To the non very anxious people tube-girl is just meh, maybe annoying, makes you focus on her because you need to be aware of your soroundings (if she falls you will go help her for example). But for some people it makes them very uncomfortable.
Switch tube girl for a man and see how opinions change. People see men as much more threatening and wouldn't be nearly as willing to endorse such behaviour.
Even for people who don't have anxiety, it's just super disrespectful, filming strangers, making noises, play music, taking a lot of space, like can't you just shut up and sit until you get to your stop ?
I honestly think we are in the middle of a narcissistic epidemic. I had this conversation with my dad recently cause we've noticed that more and more young girls are constantly watching them in their phones, making cringe poses in the middle of the street, restaurants, museums and wherever they can. Which is honestly completely ridiculous and sometimes even disrespectful. On public transport, at least where I live, you're not allowed to make too much noise, play music, that sort of thing, out of respect for other people, and I find it super annoying that everywhere I go there's always a person to film themselves and others. I just don't want to be on your videos and to appear on your social media, without even knowing it !
And for the confidence aspect I just can't agree. It's not because you're confident that you have to put every single thing you do on the internet. I think it's the opposite, those who do it don't have confidence in themselves, or lack attention, ok they do it for themselves, but simply because they like the attention it gives them and the compliments they get from doing it. Moreover we have a life outside social media, we're not forced to put ourselves in the internet to have confidence and this obsession with tik tok, instagram stories, and being constantly pretty in order to take photos just to show to people you don't know that you're pretty is super toxic. It literally becomes an obsession and this is not a good thing.
So yes people are becoming narcissistic.
Agree. I always cringe at videos of women going down the street and then description "everyone is looking at me" - yes they do because someone follows you with camera and you try to walk like the model near supermarket lol. So full of themselves, they think everyone is just admiring them and they are the center of the world.
Agreed!
The thing that I love about the internet is how through everyone’s point of view and opinion we can really think about relevant topics like this more spherically
i love this perspective
tube girls wouldn't be dancing on the tube if they're not be filmed, at the end of the day, they're only doing that for a tiktok, for people to compliment them on how "confident" they are, and that, is narcissism.
narcism is a personality disorder so I don't like that people use the term so easily but I agree with the rest of your comment, how can you do it for yourself if you only do it if you film a tiktok?
it doesn't make sense, they only do this for people seeing it online, it's not the end of the world but it's hypocrite to pretend it's only for themselves
I think with influencers it's more like egoism and not narcissism. Narcissism is a little different
I think the only real problem is if the influencer doesn't consider other people as you pointed out. Like taking up too much space or filming other people without concent.
Tbh its mad rude to just video tape yourself with no care of who ends up in that video. Lets ignore the fact that its just obviously wrong to record strangers, but tiktok is a HUGE platform. So someone looking off on the PLANE will get roasted in the comments, thats damaging to someones health. As someone who has struggled with body image heavily, i would literally cry if that happened to me.
yeah i agree
Maybe this tube girl doesn't have a social anxiety, but others can have it. For me underground overall is place that make me anxious (crowds, time limits, too many sounds, movements even smells sometimes) and seeing girly, who have a loud music, filming ( and you most certainly will be in shot), and doing unpredictable action is extremely triggering. I don't say that her action will lead to my anxiety attack, but it will definitely make me (and people like me) extremely uncomfortable. I know that my mental problems are my problems, and no one should consider it. But many people don't have a choice : I don't have a driving license and my family don't own car, I have no other choice but use public transportation and things like this make whole experience even more unpleasant than it's already is.
even without any anxiety disorder or mental health problem i'm 100% sure that this situation is deeply annoying for most of people for a lot of reason too
You should also talk about the "main character trend" online. I think everyone who says it's their main girl era is deeply insecure. Why? Because everyone is the main character of their lives,it's not a phase, it's not an era, it IS your life, your story. So why do you need to film this one moment of you being happy and realising your worth online and affirm to yourself with public validation "in my main character era". It just seems like these people are only thinking about themselves that they're the main character of their lives as well as other people's lives. It comes off as immature and cringey, we're not teenagers anymore.
The social media serves as an amplifier of the already existing infantile behavior among many people
I hate the ones that are filimg and blocking an area people need to cross through. Also they dont ask for peoples consent to appear in thier video. Most of these people who are conducting this trend suck.
I feel like it’s one of those things that we’ll look back on and be like “Wow… we really did that?” Kinda like everything people used to do on musically
It’s the being in the way for me 🙄
feels illegal to be this early
As a german, i find it very disturbing how people act in public. In Germany it's just not liked if you are loud/obnoxious/etc. And I feel that deeply, you can talk, sure, but please just act as lowkey as possible, it's stressing for others. ITS SELFISH for us, we want peace and you can DO THAT in your own home! And it could even lead to accidents (how the girl jumped/danced infront of the stairway, a clash could easily happen with people who are in a rush!!!). I hate that kind of people, tbh. it's not confidence, confidence is not that loud and in your face, at least in my opinion. Maybe the reason why i never post my face on socials or even post anything... i know who i am, i'm not defined through the eyes and attention of others. Of course it's fine if you film videos, don't get me wrong, and if you have fun etc with it.. but this is different. It's just obnoxious and people should be left alone in public spaces, bc, like the name says, its for everyone and u should act accordingly.
I disagree that they’re filming videos without harming anyone else. Yes they may not be physically hurting someone or shouting offensive things, but they’re making everyone around them uncomfortable and putting them in an awkward situation that they shouldn’t expect to be in on their busy commute to work. What makes them a narcissist is putting their need for attention over EVERYONE else’s right to just exist comfortably in a public space. A better example than tube girl is that TikTok where the guy was travelling and staying in a hostel and there were 2 girls staying up filming videos till 3 in the morning in the same room were multiple other people were sleeping? I think a lot of people can look at that and more clearly say that those girls were behaving like narcissists because they didn’t care about the other guests in the hostel AT ALL. However, I would bet every penny in my bank account that those girls wouldn’t agree. I also bet there would be a bunch of other people, probably tube girl, who also wouldn’t agree. The line is just going to keep getting pushed. Also you mentioned blurring people’s faces, but none of those videos on the actual tube had any of the members of the publics faces blurred 😂 it’s unfortunately not standard influencer procedure when it really should be.
Behind every Tube Girl is someone Just wanting to get Home from Work in Peace and trying to avoid the camera.
I like that you're bringing up NPD, I wish you had mentioned that only about 0,5% of the population actually have it though, because people seem to think it is a lot more widespread than it actually is. Narcissism is a spectrum however, and the social media generation may be higher on it in general. NPD is in the extreme end of the spectrum, where these people don't even know who they are and what they're feeling most of the time. So great video, I just wish you cleared that up a little more☺️
yeah, i feel like people are blurring the lines between NPD and just plain old... selfishness. It's a normal thing for people to be a little selfish some of the time, because, well... they are themselves. We are the only person who's emotions and physical states you can FEEL. And we are stuck with ourselves 24/7. OF COURSE people are gonna put more thought into themselves than they do other people. NPD is an extreme version of this and I don't think its 'popularity' lately is actually justified.
...I hope what i said made sense ahahah. Let me know if what i'm saying is unclear or straight up incorrect
On one side:
1. They don't mean any harm
2. The first person to do it was trying to normalize doing cringe things in public
3. You can't call someone a narcissit just because they recorded a video
on the other side:
1. It doesn't matter if they didn't mean any harm if they, indeed, did it
2. Social etiquette IS important, should be mandatory
3. Respecting other people's personal space should also be "common sense" and I'm tired of people who pretend being obnoxious just to get away with incorrect behaviour
So I'd say I'm more against this trend.
What I don't like about this trend is that is made on places like public transport, if it was in a park or something like that I have no problem, but in public transport most people are just tired and want to have a peaceful trip to their home. Being loud and maybe even touching people while moving when it's crowded is really disrespectful. It's like when someone is watching videos in a loud volume or even listening to music without earphones.
I mean, sometimes you are not in the mood for that and it's totally okay. People in public transport have their own lifes and maybe one of them is going back home after a really tiring day or even going to the hospital to see a person they love who is about to die, I know it sound like an extreme situation but there are many people in there and most of them prefer a peaceful trip.
This is not a role model to follow because it basically encourages being an annoying person. In this trend the more annoying you are, the more views and positive comments about your confidence you get. We all want to be respected when we are tired and we are not supposed to deal with a girl dancing in a bus when there is no personal space.
Funnily enough my wife has narcissistic personality disorder. As much as I hate this kind of social media self obsession, narcissism has hurt me so badly that I find this stuff pretty low priority.
The real scary shit is having to live and work with someone highly narcissistic. People think the self obsession and entitlement are bad. But it's the manipulation, smear campaigns, and gaslighting that really do the damage. Its worth looking up narcissistic abuse. Lots of people are dating narcissists or have narcissistic parents and don't know it. Especially the covert kind who are self obsessed but not in the obvious way, they tend to play the victim more than the amazing cool person so its harder to see. My wife gaslit, guilt tripped and emotionally abused me for years and it's only when she herself figured out ber abusive mum had something like NPD that I began to realise she did too. She was just more subtle about it. Look it up if you're in a difficult relationship. NPD often flies under the radar because they're not usually violent so people don't realise they're being abused.
i'm so sorry you have had to deal with that :( Is she still doing all these behaviours? If so, is there a reason you're still staying in the marraige? It sounds like a painful thing to deal with
I saw a great tiktok on this, the guy was saying how the virtual currency of social media and what that brings (views, money, opportunities) is starting to outweigh the social currency of being embarrassed/cringe
Great discussion, Zoe! Really got me thinking.
It is easy to judge social media posts, but at the end of the day, a lot of what you’ve shown seems mostly just for fun.. the real narcissism epidemic (which I do think is a legit phenomenon) plays out IRL in everyday interactions.
but when they film tiktok like that they actually interact with real people, they are in a public space, it's also real life and a part of everyday interaction people have
This video missed the mark for me. Filming yourself in the aisle of a plane or on a subway is annoying. You're taking up limited physical space, filming in public and playing music that other people have no choice but to listen to. Plus, if you're focused on filming and dancing, you can't really be aware of the people around you who may need to get to their stop or just don't want to be filmed. It's cringe because it's disrespectful. Those girls mimicking the tube girl trend on a rockface or in a park aren't the same. There's either no one in the background or people can easily move away.
There's a current TikTok trend about how Genz isn't going to get roasted by Gen Alpha and letmetellyou...one of the first things they will make fun of is their lack of self-awareness in public. Especially in situations where the etiquette is to think about how your behaviour affects other people.
This makes for an interesting situation. On one hand they aren't hurting anyone (because it's just a silly dance), but on the other, I felt kind of uneasy looking at these videos, and realizing why it's uncomfortable. It's the fact that they are in a confined and public space, that welcomes everyone, until you feel unwelcomes when someone else is invading too much space and gives you the opposite of confidence. It makes others (like me) feel UNconfident and bad for somehow feeling like I'm invading "their personal space" by just using the space as intended.
In some ways, society is more judgemental, but over petty things. Cringe and narcissist are thrown around way too casually. In other ways, society is less judgemental. After all, it used to be illegal for interracial and same sex couples to get married. Society is a product of life and life is defined by complexity.
I could have died happily without ever knowing what a tube girl is 😓
Narcissism is very different from narcissistic personality disorder. Just wanted to put this out there
Interesting video that got me thinking again. I am so far away from filming myself in public. After four years in a wheelchair I still have social anxiety going outside. And yes, I saw a video or two. Didn’t know what the trend was until know. What got me thinking even more is how different the perception of our society and social etiquette is depending on how much you are watching or are involved in social media. What would for example a frail grandmother or grandfather think if a young girl starts to film herself in front of them dancing? I definitely think about the people around me. And in Germany privacy protection laws are very clear. You can’t film someone without their given consent. I have no idea how the trend is doing here. I am very sure it’s out there.
I do think that the trend is cringe but it’s definitely not narcissism.That term is has been thrown around incorrectly recently and you can’t just say that someone is a narcissist because they filmed a tube dance video
yeah, i feel like people are blurring the lines between NPD and just plain old... selfishness/self-centeredness.
Agreed. The term has been completely emptied of its real meaning now. At least if we are considering how the term has been applied so far.
Although I do think the recent generations are more self centered and individualists than ever before, slapping the label “narcissistic” just seems lazy to me, idk
This trend also reminds me of the way some influencers pose for their pictures with lens distortion. It alters your body in an unrealistic way. Stephanie Lange made a video on this.
Off topic, but I think you're always dressed so stylish! ✨ I especially love your top!
I think Sabrina's initial intentions weren't to get popular but to try and normalize just doing "cringe" things in public. I do realize the trend isn't for everyone because _society_ . But it feels inauthentic and manufactured now. Another creator I follow really promoted the sentiment of "it's only embarrassing if you let it embarass you", which I agree. There's nuances. Like Sabrina only filmed herself and didn't create distress to others, while others do film others and block paths and are just annoying. We can't all be main characters because that's just not how it works.
Film yourself only. Don’t film people without their consent. It’s just that easy.
Imho public spaces are just that: public. They're meant to be shared respectfully and ideally equally. But that's not what tube-ers are doing.
They are monopolizing public spaces at the expense of other people with the terrible cherry on top that only *some* people can get away with that brand of selfishness without being societally punished in very real and dangerous ways.
The willingness to engage in disruptive behavior driven mainly by ones own ego is based on how 'socially desirable' they are which is often just an external manifestation of the priviledge they are already used to.
to be honestly i would probably get tired of seeing people taking up space and being loud in a close public space for insignificant things like a tiktok dance
i feel like it's a basic respect to not being loud or annoying in a public transport
this is my comment prior to having watched this video (i will watch it) why? just for fun.. my thought is:
we have created this JOB of being a youtuber and vlogging... you can literally become a billionaire and live in large over the top apartment in NYC just for sharing your life. whatever this life is. putting on makeup. getting coffee. gaming. sharing your outfit... like the typical "day in the life" vlogger.... and this job, first of all: 1: forces YOU to become self centered. you are out and about with your friend at a café but oh no! now there is a camera, your friend can't go anywhere with you, without being filmed, your friend's mind is clearly on herself, and capturing the right angles. pretending to just have a casual convo, but it's filmed. this creates such a disconnect. 2: you start to think, that you ARE the center of the universe. anywhere you go, it feels more important - you have ARRIVED - bc you are filming it for your audience. you even start to go to places, you would never go to were it not capturing it for profit.
everyone starts to think they are in their own movie, and that instead of connecting with others, keeping things private, and living your life normally as part of the crowd, putting others first, you think everything is about YOU.
i think it's great that these alternative jobs exist, despite how i think it's a bit unfair you can become rich for just existing and vlogging it, but i also think these jobs have really damaged society. like think about it... there are SO MANY vloggers. there are so many just oversharing everything. ( don't even get me started on family vloggers... sharing their child to the world - without the child's consent. ) Why are we so scared of not being SEEN by the entire world of strangers? is it not enough to be seen by a few real people who truly love you? why is that not enough.... narcissistic traits CAN be fixed. if it's not full on a personality disorder, then there is still hope. you can change. life isn't all about YOU dear vlogger. (not pointing at Zoe here fyi in case that wasn't obvious. talking about the general "you")
It's capitalism doing capitalism. In a system based on infinite growth we always need to find new ways of making profit or the system crashes. It's no surprise we are now able/forced to monetise our very existence and our personalities. It's alright now, but in the long run it's really bad for the human mind and soul. The mental health epidemic is directly linked to falling wages and rising social media use. We need to reverse these trends.
I just can't wrap my mind around why people obsessively think that in order to be seen as a confident person you need to rotate the camera like crazy in front of yourself in the tube. Why do people overall think that you need to do all those crazy things in public in order to be seen as a confident person, I've never understood that and guess never will. Does it mean I'm not confident if I don't film in public and just don't want to draw much attention towards me? No, of course not! Because I know my value and I don't need other people's validation to be confident. Confidence is silent.
I have been her subscriber for sometime now. Because, I actually believed that doing 16 hr fasting will allow me to eat whatever I like without any restriction. This caused me to gain so much weight. I used to maintain a healthy weight before with my regular lifestyle.
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I have been watching your videos since forever, but because of the way you present your ideas and opinions weather or not I agree with them doesn't matter and would still keep watching which I think is a great skill which you have mastered .I really like this video and just keep going to be honest cuz your videos are vary intertaning
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*entertaining 😂
Zoe we love you. Thanks for your videos
Really out of topic but I LOVE your top in this video😍💕
As someone who is generation X I don't get these trends. Why? Why not really do something useful? Like, learn to cook, paint, learn other languages, took courses to help people, help animals, nature... There are many ways to be happy and being noticed on social media for being "loud" in public is so not one of them. For someone middle-aged as me, it just looks stupid and totally useless. For example, on YT you will find millions of quite useful videos about everything. People invest their time and knowledge to learn something and share it. Being young and born pretty and being nuance in public by attracting attention is not confidence or of use to anyone. Maybe it's even harmful because not everyone looks like those people and it spreads a lot of unnecessary insecurities among young people. But as someone from generation where looks weren't THAT important I can tell you that is quite wrong and it is harmful. Also, you expose yourself to many vile people on internet who can't wait but to insult you or try to hurt you in many ways. Every person who published anything on social media received some insults from insecure individuals who under anonymity love to put others down. A lot of girls I saw online cried and took those comments seriously, although it was pure garbage. In short, get of the freaking social media and freaking just LIVE! Life is SHORT, trust the older lady! Live it while you can!
nobody is saying people can’t “be themselves” but why can’t they be themselves without recording ? it’s like just live your life without the camera always in your face
I think tik tok is just a more readily available to individuals to create content then it was in the 2000's/90's. Like we've had in the past flash mobs, tv shows we're people volunteer to be documented or 'glowed up', funniest home video shows, reality tv - all of these are pretty similar to content shared online. I think most people want the chance to be 'famous', so tik tok has made it more readily available to become 'famous'
This reminds me of those videos of small groups of guys doing dancing or Parkour on the subway and I don't recall this sort of massive and critical discourse coming out of it (granted I'm not on tiktok, perhaps I missed something). They were allowed to take up space, both on the subway and on social media. And people said it was cool. Some people might argue that if you do it with friends it's ok, if you're on your own it's narcissistic or cringe - but why? The goal is the same: get clicks on your social media. Dancing on the tube by yourself is a decidedly un-British thing to do but that's also just a random social norm that has little logical basis. I personally prefer quiet environments but we live in a society etc.
I am soo early ❤
Loved the video, and nuanced discussion on the narcissism.
I feel like they need people to give them attention … they are not confident . And don’t even care if other are bored about this comportement
Honestly it's just insecure people trying to fit in, seeking acceptance from society and making everything about themselves
I honestly think everyone just wants to feel special. Most people are not narcissistic, that diagnosis gets tossed around to every insufferable person we see lol but they’re mostly trying to get attention to feel special. Everyone is special and has a need to feel special but ppl are going about it the wrong way. It’s essential to know how to express yourself but following a trend doesn’t do your need to feel special good in the long run. You gotta find what actually MAKES you feel special not what gives you instant sm gratification. For me being recognized for my work and by the people I dearly admire makes me feel special and I know that. Most people don’t and that’s what we have an abundance of running around on sm.
I wonder if tube girl even asked the guy who she initially asked to record her his name and how he was doing or anything socializing before she asked him to take her phone and record her dancing in the wind? And to add, when these people finish making their video do they sit down and look at their phone? Probably…..and that’s the problem 🚨 the “socialize with the person you see on the tube everyday” challenge will never go viral bc people are so into their phones and trending on sm than actually watching their surroundings they don’t even know how to talk to people, they lack conversation skills, and basic social skills in general. I notice it, then they want to go “oh I feel so cringe speaking to someone I don’t know” but will get on sm and tell their entire business to thousands of people who they don’t know. Speaking from experience, working with the public, a lot of people have little to no social skills and that’s where the cringe comes in for me. We are moreso connected online than in real life. Guys today don’t want to approach girls unless it’s through a dm and “cringe” or become anxious at the thought of approaching someone they like in real life. Sm has weakened us mentally in a lot of ways. If we had better social skills we would have better communication and thus understanding. But we don’t and it’s sad to watch. We need more love and understanding in real life. We need more confidence in real life. No one on sm talks about the inner self work that needs to be done in real life. The same girl you see dancing on a train will not lift a finger to help someone who seems lost in the tube, if she even notices them at all, not bc she is lazy or doesn’t care, but bc for a lot of them talking to a stranger, is “cringe”, they get embarrassed by it bc it actually requires you to be more vulnerable and accept a reaction you might not understand. Weird times we are living in truly. I was walking into a mall and an old lady was leaving out and her shirt was life 1/4 unbutton and her bra was showing ore than it should, I immediately told her and she actually asked me to help her button it (I’m a girl btw) so I immediately buttoned like 2 buttons, enough so her chest was no longer showing and she thanked me and went about her way but I’m like this woman has been in stores shopping and probably up and down this mall and I know I am not the only one who saw her bra hanging out of her shirt and no one stopped to tell her? Let alone help her. Like that’s the world we live in today. It’s become the real cringe. Even reading that I’m sure people would think it’s cringe but it’s real life and I’d rather confront a cringe situation to give someone their dignity than to ignore it bc I can’t socialize in real life.
Why can't people proof their confidence at home? Or an open space? It needs to be with lots of people all the time it seems :/
Just mentioned you in a Tati comment when mentioning people who have a great voice on current topics. I feel like I willed a new video into existence
The rocks thing could be a start of something more dangerous like challenges.
I think this trend is so fucking bizarre and you would have to pay me a lot of money to do this even once BUT it's also really interesting, because it shows that what's trending online, isn't necessarily considered "cool" in the real world. I bet most people would judge the "tube girl", if they would see one on the actual tube. Most of us wouldn't think it's cool or admirable. Online on the other hand, tube girl content is doing great and gets millions of likes. The bar for what's considered cringy or even unacceptable (filming strangers that probably don't want to be on tube girl tiktok) is just so much higher online than it is in reality.
Why do I click the notification so fast 😭. I came 3minutes early 😂
omg i love your top, it looks SO good on you'
you're so real for this and omg how was fashion week!!
The people in the background don’t want to be filmed
Yeah I can't agree on this one. I've been recorded on the ~ n u d e ~on my gym's locker room without constent because an obnoxious gurlie needed some internet validation. I'm tired of this bs.
I’m not convinced people are posting these videos because they think they look cool. It can’t be possible. They HAVE to know how insane they look.
This video topic has been roaming everywhere.
Never been this early, love ur videos 🫶🏼✨
4:59 I thought someone emailed me lmao
being confident means being the MAIN character. being narcissistic means being the ONLY character in your life ;)
The double standards thing is absolutely a fact. Lest we forget Elijah McClain had the police called on him and murdered for dancing in public. And, most of the tube girls absolutely do not care about other people not wanting to be filmed, because if they did, they wouldn’t film on an inescapable place like a train, and they definitely dont blur background faces. And, ive been to NYC and seen people filming in the streets and they were absolutely in the way of others without a care in the world.
Always best videos ❤
As someone with a different personalitly disorder i just want to add that every person has traits of every personality disorder to some degree. It`s a disorder when specific variables are extremely pronounced.
I actally hate that people say that a narcicist do something to make it seem bad. It`s a disorder and the stigma is so fucking bad right now. No, most people aren`t narcicists and no being a narcicist doesn`t make you a bad person.
Actually "narcissism epidemic" is nothing new, having more or less narcissistic traits was common amongst the artists in the turn of 19th and 20th century during an era we call la belle epoque, and it somewhat intersects with the dandy culture. One example of this is the Portrait of Dorian Gray (of course it has other interpretations too).
Person saying “conservative politics is narcissistic” but also “too many regular people criticizing me are narcissists”? Yes, that is a double standard.🤷♂️
To be honest, i don't think the tube girl trend is bad. They look like they are having fun but sometimes i did cringe, and I had to ask myself if i was just feeling triggered because I couldn't imagine myself being that confident or if it was genuinely cringe. But let people have fun especially if they aren't bothering anyone.
The reason why I have been feeling weird posting on social media and being an influencer is because I often question, "Who is this for?" In an age where not posting makes you wonder if it actually happened if no one is reacting to it. It makes you wonder
OMG so funny to see a dutch influencer I know in the clip around 5:53 point hihi
There’s the embodiment of confidence that causes healthy self expression that is feel is normal
But these people, it’s not confidence coming from the internal.. you can tell there’s a void and the theatrics are them compensating for that
But then I wonder.. do we just have people who exist that have a lot of energy that need to be seen? Does it always come from insecurity or do you think certain people are just born for fame and being in the spotlight
I don’t know 🤷♀️
I do know that regardless of your intention there needs to be respect of other people’s personal space. That’s where my problem is
They come off as selfish and annoying to me honestly, taking up space and forcing random people to be in the background of your video isn't cute. If you don't show anyone in the background, it's completely okay for me. It's not the worst thing ever either but it's sad and cringe how everyone these days want to be the "main character" (aka the center of attention) so bad. It's like we're drifting further from reality by constantly acting in front of the camera lol
Love you, Zoe. 🥰
Narcissism is at an all time high, and no, its not a joke
People have been dancing and performing in public since the dawn of civilization. Its called street performers.
I think the difference here is that the "perfomer" is excluding the people around in favor of an online audience. It makes the whole thing out of context.
Dancing and singing is a beautiful social activity but when you exclude people in your physical space in favor of a phone i think it can trigger something primal here, that this person is not connected and sharing with the "tribe"...
Ive seen performers in nyc subways BBoying gymnastic and break dance for the crowd, and I loved it. People gave them lots of money.
So i think its less about dancing in public and more about the shallowness and exclusion of these "tube girls"
But whatever, they are just kids playing around, i dont really mind. But if these girls like performing in public so much, they should just learn to juggle or breakdance or something, and get paid actual money instead of with "likes" ...
Zoe, can you talk about Kpop, k-dramas, C-dramas industries and theirs effect on the young generation like dream jobs and body ashaming etc, and your opinion on this, I would like to know it.
i think she already made a video on this
@@mary-pz1jf I know, I already watched them but I just want to hear more about them
@@dohastay1468 OHHHHHH OK very sorry lol
@@mary-pz1jf no it's all ok
Main character for me would be great if we treat it as we are main characters in OUR lives, not everyone's. I see a lot of videos where girl dresses super nice, and they call her main character. Like what? Others are "less character" "less important" because they didn't spend 4hours in the morning for their looks? Sick generation
I hate the trend..I just don’t like it I’m general..no reason I just hate it
omg i'm first. zoeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
yOUR SKiN!! Is glowing extra! Are you hydrated or is there some skincare recommendation one can request??
Narcissism doesn’t automatically mean you lack empathy. In fact, it’s the opposite in many cases.. you know exactly how other people think and feel and you manipulate that to make others feel good about you. You don’t lack the ability to feel empathy, you lack the ability to care that you’re feeling it.
We need petition to buy clothes for this who**
Nah. It's cringe. And also, for me who hates crowded spaces and noises, please let me pretend I am alone when I use public transports and don't be a nuisance.
Weight loss videos pls😢❤
when i just realised that paris from gilmore girls is a narcissist
It can e really bad can u make a 90 s tut the other does n t wand to be filmed
As one of my favorite songs says “It doesn’t make you a narcissist to love yourself”
Ah yes, lets defend filming yourself doing a crappy dance in a confined space where people can hardly step put of the way even if they want to. It's not confidence, its just being shamelessly cringe and begging for attention in doing so.