How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (A Flower Blooms)
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- Опубликовано: 4 июн 2019
- Let's stop comparing ourselves to each other and instead, start loving ourselves and supporting each other fully. This video comes in two parts: A Flower Blooms vignette, and then practical tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others.
// A Flower Blooms
Read the words here: lavendaire.com/a-flower-blooms
A Flower Blooms is about how we tend to feel insecure or unworthy when we compare ourselves to others. Yes, this girl may be smart, talented, creative, beautiful, and that’s true. But that doesn’t diminish who you are. Why do you shrink when you see that? You are beautiful, smart, talented, creative, capable too. You are a light, too.
You are both beautiful in your own right. Her beauty does not diminish your beauty. Your beauty does not diminish hers. Instead of comparing and competing, you might find that you two actually complement each other, and you two together = better & more than when you stood apart. If you can bloom confidently, you’ll find that you’re stronger and happier when you stand together.
“A flower does not think about competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
In order to move towards a more supportive & loving community, we must start with our own self love & confidence. You must bloom, confidently. Know your self worth. Love yourself. Only then can you move forward to support others compassionately and positively.
// related
→ how to stop being insecure | bit.ly/2I4h97P
→ self worth & comparison traps | bit.ly/2XzbP3n
→ personal inspirations map | bit.ly/2vGPF2P
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Edited by Loryn Teranishi | @yoloryn
Music by Epidemic Sound - bit.ly/2IBCok1 (30 day free trial)
Outro music by Eventide | bit.ly/2wW9Xa8
// M A I L B O X
Aileen Xu
PO Box 296
Brea, CA 92822
Business inquiries | lavendaire@select.co
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// A B O U T
I’m Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.
Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love.
Subscribe to Lavendaire to get inspired by new videos weekly! bit.ly/sublavendaire
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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own. Some links I share are affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them. Any PR samples or gifts are marked with an (*). 
Хобби
Hi loves! ✨ We just launched a new community program ft. masterminds and monthly live events for personal growth & wellness! Learn more & join here → lavendaire.com/DLC 🫶
I deleted All my social media acounts and it was the best decision I made this year. As beautiful as social media is, to my eyes it is more poison than blessing.
You are going to benefit a lot from this decision :D focus on what you love and stay rooted to your reality, not to a one that is superficial and inexistent !
Jera T. That’s a good idea. Media is more of a tool, and you can always control what you would want to see in your life. Tools are made to make your life easier, not harder
Update: I stuck to my decision and have not regretted it in the least. The thing is, once you quit, there is nothing reminding you of what you are allegedly missing, so you don't notice what is not demanding your attention anymore. What you notice, is all the time and energy that is suddenly available. I am much more focused, have more time than I realized, and am much more content and confident than before. It was the best decision I made in a while. Give it a try if you like!
@@justatinyhalfling You motivated me to delete my instagram account ❤❤Thank you very much. I'll post updates here 💖💖💖💖
@@andjela523 That is wonderful!! 💕 I hope you will feel the benefits as much as I do. Good luck!
The comparison at the beginning is beautiful 🌹🌷
I totally agree
"One person's success doesn`t diminish what you have. You are unique. You have your own set of strengths, gifts, talents, life experience"
I loved the video, I loved the metaphor and I am happy to hear those word right now! 💕
greta maria yes! Thank you ❤️
Well said
tym
BeYOUtiful! Someone else’s shine doesn’t diminish your own. Comparison is, indeed, a thief of joy!! Being that we know exactly what goes on in our lives, comparing ourselves to others may be easy. However, remember you do not know what happens when the camera turns off. You are beautiful, you are worthy of love, respect and happiness! From a self love content creator to another.. this is an mazing video Aileen!! ❤️
The abundance is REAL! Celebrate others' wins!
theFitty Always! Together we stand stronger!! 💕
Yes!!
@@F0reverblessed
theFitty Thank you beauty! 💛
I felt motivate everytime I listen to your words...thank you so much...love you so much!!
Lusten to her podcasts too!
@@Thefitty where can i find them ?
@@galaxytechamina4229 I do castbox! It's my favourite app
@@Thefitty thank you !
@@galaxytechamina4229 you are so so welcome!
I love how you use Rose and Lily as a metaphor. And how you said that instead of comparing, why not compliment each other?! I like how you're filled with so much vibrant and positivity. Please do continue being YOU. Love you and more power!! 💛💛
Dear no One 😸 thank you! I also liked that both words “complement” and “compliment” work hehe. Flowers complement each other in a bouquet, same as people in a team. And we can compliment each other too. Hehe ok I’m done
Self worth are always hard to realize especially for people who look it as a negative one. Thank you for reminding me again about it ❤
Ishin Elizabeth ❤️❤️
" A flower just blooms" is now my favorite quote❤ This video inspired me so much. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and bring light in my life. 🌸
Love from Italy❤
YEAH I COMPARE MY SELF TO OTHERS ALL THE TIME😫💕
Me too ;(
_me too. But let’s remember that we don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. The person you could compare yourself too might be depressed or might have a terrible family life._
@je suis une baleine mais ton nom de chaîne... :/ je doute que tu soies un cétacés #FakeNew
me too
"A flower just blooms", wow. Very profound.
*there is more than enough abundance to go around everywhere. When you see someone else where you want to be, it's a sign of your own upcoming achievements!*
thank you for this!
@@TysonMichael77 glad you found it helpful!
Very true
@@BriaBarrows I'm glad you agree!:) Where are you calling in more abundance in your life?
Best in life not to complain,
criticise or compare. Also do
not live up to the expectations
of others. Unless it is taxes,
rules or regulations. Excellent
points mentioned. The flowers
at the beginning are gorgeous.
this made me stop sobbing cuz I'm one year behind than my peers
thank you so much
greetings from Egypt 💜🇪🇬🇪🇬
I’m a sunflower 🌻 in a field of other beautiful flowers. I don’t always believe I’m just as beautiful as other girls or have a good enough body, but I’m working on building myself up.
“Success is not measured by what you do compared to what somebody else does. Success is measured by what you do compared to what you are capable of doing “ sharing some love with all of you guys
well that's a depressing sentiment..
I love the flower part 😭 A good way to overcome jealousy is to replace the feeling with joy for the other person, by feeling their happiness. Eventually it becomes a habit!
I really love your videos. I watch your videos for few years ,really inspired me, I love you
I love the metaphor you use in the beginning! ❤️ such a great intro! Love the tips as always 😊
Wow. Just yesterday night a weird bout of "I'm not that good at anything," comparing myself to others, which was never something common for me. Then woke up to this. We have in our lives everything we need 💕
I watch your video in order to not only perfect myself but also learn English. Love your voice ❤❤❤
Same
Hello vietnamese...😂
Hello Phương Nhã. Bạn cũng đang học tiếng anh ?
Kim Chi Channel Phép Thuật hihi exactly👍
same❤️😂
I've definitely had to unfollow people on social media because they triggered my insecurities. But I can definitely attest to the fact that building self worth helps so much with how I feel about other people's successes.
Oh my gosh, this is awesome 👏
The comparison between lily and rose is so revealing and touching. Let us all blossom! Thank you 🙏 so much for these videos
Hi, just wanted to say that you're videos that you post recently are the things i needed to hear right now.
Thank you!! 😢
The visual aesthetic and these messages!!!!! You killed it again 💜 thank you for your words 💐🌸🌷🌼🌹🌻🌺
THE INTRO MADE ME CRY LIKE A BABY !!! What a beautiful video , THANK YOU so much for sharing this with us .
The intro was so beautiful😭 each flower blooms on their own and has their own unique traits..just like how each person has their own traits that make them stand out💖 thank you for this❤️
This is so beautiful I’m in tears.. When you said “Flower. Just. Bloom.” I felt like that’s something I needed to hear for a long time. Thank you for creating this video and sending out the beautiful and important message. Your words are going to forever change my life x
omg the allegory in the beginning is everything! i definitely think this sparks a new approach to comparing myself with others. it's difficult of course, the real world isn't filled with photos of a certain type of flower but filled with photos of a certain body/appearance/success/etc. But it's all about the confidence you radiate, with that we can change the world :)
I love love love the analogy of flowers and how they are all so beautiful, and they even complement each other in their difference. Life is so much more beautiful with variety!
*Anyone else loves her videos?? they are so inspiring!*
Btw I am a small RUclipsr
Yes!
Btw- awesome!!
Me too!! Small RUclipsrs unite! :)
"Its not a competition, its a community.". That is gold. Thank you so much. I also enjoyed the rose versus the lily. Profound message.😊
This was so inspiring and beautiful 😍
Thank you for sharing your light with us
I've been watching your videos for over an year now, and i'm so so thankful I've found your channel. It has been a big help on my journey. Thanks for being this amazing person
Aileen you’re one of my biggest inspirations to this day. I can relate to you and so much of your story. As a 21 year old about to graduate next week with a bachelors of journalism, I’ve changed my mind countless times about my career path. But I know that I’m not meant to be here and live a mediocre life. I have a voice and things to say. I love your transparency because it’s what I’ve always been passionate about in my writing and sharing. Now that I’m graduating I have more time on my hands and you’ve inspired me to finally take the leap and start my blog. Instead of comparing myself saying “there’s too many out there, it’s too late” I know I have unique things to say, offer and give. Thank you for reminding me of this in this video.💛
So needed this! For me, there is a fine line between getting inspired by others vs. comparing. I know I need check myself once I starting having negative thoughts about others lives/art or business. It’s not a competition, we are a community! I’m a young mom starting my own business and also channel so I stumble into this a lot lately. Thanks for posting!
wow that has to be the best intro of all time. beautiful metaphor! im still learning how to stop comparing myself to others.
You never cease to amaze me! Your wisdom is so helpful to me and many around the world 🌍 never forget that what you are doing is helping someone on our planet to feel a little better and see our planet in a new way 🌏😊
Lots of love from the UK 🇬🇧🌍
Hi Aileen, Amazing discussion today. The age old 'Flower' example is perfect for all of us to remember that we are all human yet we are all beautifully unique 💖👑
I loved this analogy so much, especially because I love flowers and they bring so much joy to me. I love your channel so much!
You're helping so many people out here thank you so much!!!
I can't describe how much this video has helped me. I really really needed it. Please keep making such videos. You have no idea how influential you are for all of us❤️
This is such a beautiful analogy and so important! Thank you for reminding us that everyone of us is special, unique and worthy.
Thank you a lot. Comparing myself is the thing I do the most:with my family and friends. Thank you ♥♥♥
I love your quote: "A flower does not compare itself to others. A flower just blooms". Thanks a lot! Your video helped me during my tough times. It made me be aware of my thoughts and realize that I should make changes instead of diving in mental breakdown >
Such an inspiring video! This is my area of struggle sometimes. I have to remind myself that NOBODY is perfect and everyone is struggling with something. Comparison never leads to anything positive if you approach it from a point of looking at how inadequate your life is in comparison to theirs. But if you can definitely look at someone's success and learn from them! And remember that their success has no bearing on yours!
You are my consistent motivation because of this light that you have) Thank you for your work)
I love the comparison with the flowers and comparing ourselves to others!That's very very true. Self worth reigns!!!
listening to Aileen while designing my vision board. I don't think I'll get tired of watching or listening to your videos and podcasts. thank you!
Thank you so much Aileen for every video you post, it has helped me so much in my life recently, every video is an inspiration to be the better version of me plus the email updates.
Thank you so much for creating lavendaire❤
This is one of the main thing I cover with my clients. So powerful to shift comparison with vision and inspiration 💕 thank you for the video lovely
You really have positive feeling. Everytime I'm watching your video something inside me say to me to get up and be more productive. Thank you 😊
I wrote positive things about me in a small note book and I read it everyday before going to sleep and I always remember my self before going to bed that I love my self .. and I have on my mirror small papers that gives me motivation + soon I’ll do a jar with a lot of messages that says things that I love about myself 💖
Fxm Space _that’s nice. I might do that. Is it helpful?_
Chinese & Spanish subtitles are available! Click "CC" and check the video settings. Thank you to the contributors listed in the description 💕
Tq
@@lakshmisarada6444 malayali alle
Thank you so much for this video. I searched all night online for content that helped me address the issues I am currently facing and you nailed everything. You've helped in leading me to bloom. For that, I love you!
Thank you, Aileen! 💜 Such an inspiration 💕
Comparison is definitely the thief of joy! It's so easy to devalue ourselves! Let's change our beliefs!
The comparison you showed first is something my mom tells me everytime. She also adds that there might be flowers that are found attractive by many and others less but that does not take away the value of the later. And that's really wonderful.
You inspire me I don’t know you but when I watch your videos I feel like I want to be someone that have the same energy and personality you have changed me in so many ways I thank you I think of you as my best friend
This video is beautiful. Last week I went to a botanical garden as an artist date and just started talking to certain flowers. I came back with more revelations in my writings. When you said "the journey is within", it truly sums up everything so well.
I am still working on the issue of when my overprotective mom diminishes my light. I know she says things out of worries and there are moments when it makes me cower. I am learning to become more confident, but it really takes time. You've mentioned in one video about your relationship with your dad and that made me feel that I am not alone in this journey.
As always, thanks Aileen for your wonderful talks (:
Thank you so much for this! Lately I had been filled with negative things. This video was litterly helpful. Especially the intro made me emotional. 💜
Thank you so much for this video! I constantly find myself comparing my success to others, and I'm so tired of it. It makes me feel worthless, and it always makes me feel like I have to do better. The same words appear in my head when I see others doing well, "I'm not good enough, I need to try harder". These thoughts have been getting the best of me, but this video really helped. I'll definitely try out the idea of writing down all my negative thoughts! Recognizing my self worth isn't going to be easy, but I'll keep on trying until I finally see it :)
I love your tips 🌸 how I shut down the comparison and negative feelings about myself (when I catch myself doing it as a lot of times it’s subconscious) is I imagine what if that person was my sister or daughter etc. the love and pride I then began to feel for them puts everything back into perspective.
Your words at the beginning of the video are so beautiful and inspiring !🌷🌹🌻❤️
I loved the intro so much! It made it easier to understand that everyone is beautiful in their own way and together we make each other even more beautiful❤️
The intro is so beautiful, it made me emotional. My mind is flooded with negative thoughts lately. I keep worrying about things that didn't even happen yet and it's all because of my lack of esteem and tendency to compare myself to others. This whole self-love series is so inspiring. Thank you!! 💜
I feel you🥺
i love the quotes about flowers and everythings . thankyou ! thankyou for this video💛💋 it helps a lot
watchin your vids just making me feel more better and more comfortable ty
My favorite times to recite affirmations for me is as I'm going to sleep, and as I'm waking up. It makes such a difference. I sometimes catch myself slacking off during workout and realize that my brain is empty or I'm starting negative thought spirals saying, "ugh this is hard, I'm getting tired, I can't do this." So I have been trying to catch myself during exercise and encourage myself instead and purposely smile to lift my energies and be thankful to God for working in me like this!
I'm loving this series, it really is putting so many words to some of my thoughts and processes of self discovery and transformation. Thank you Aileen ♡
Your videos makes me feel better😭 this is one of the best video that I've watched from you. It really hits me and helps me at the same time. This serves an inspiration to me to live, to be happy with my life and be contented with what I have. I'm crying while writing this, so many realizations from you. I struggle a lot with my insecurities and comparing myself constantly with others. I just want you to know that I'm one of the people that you've help and give inspiration to live their life. I love you and continue to make a lot of powerful videos😘
_i compare myself to others too. I feel inferior to them._
Love the intro to this - beautifully said and shown! The flower analogy is so perfect for this. Cheers!
I feel so empowered after watching this video, I hope a lot of youtubers will do more of videos like yours so that more people will feel worthy. Sending lots of love💖💖
I’m glad I subscribed... you’re a genuine person
Each flower has it's own unique beauty... you can't make comparisons ♡♡♡♡ each flower is beautiful ! what a beautiful message... beautiful video ♡♡♡♡
this is so beautifully filmed & such an important message ❤❤❤thank you!
I love your videos, especially this series. I struggle with self worth so this is quite helpful :)
That shot in the field of flowers, is so magical! Impressive videography, Aileen. And of course, a great message, too ☺️ ☺️☺️
Thanks Aileen 😘 Love you! Im happy your posting videos 3 times in a row. 💚
🌟 Check out the NEW Create Your Dream Life Course: lavendaire.com/dreamlife
Thanks for the love on this video ^_^ I actually had the idea for "A Flower Blooms" last year in Nov but I just didn't know how to make it. Originally I wanted to shoot it in a studio & a crew but it was so out of my comfort zone I just didn't get around to planning it. I ended up waiting til spring when flowers were in bloom so we could shoot some flower field scenes lol. Done is better than perfect. Read the words here: lavendaire.com/a-flower-blooms
It is a Perfect video dear. Trust us
😘😘
its sooooo beautiful. Really loved that intro!!
It is so beautiful!
You have a fan From the lowest point on earth (literaly). Love youre vedios ❤❤!
This was so beautifully crafted, and dearly important and inspiring. 🌹🌷
These videos are fantastic. I often watch these videos in the morning, because these give me so many power! Thank you very much. My soul is peaceful 🌿🌸🌷💐 love love love ❤️
I really truly needed to hear this.
I was literately JUST comparing myself to my friends seconds before this video popped up in my recommended section. Thank you Aileen!
Thank you sooo much! Flower allegory was so helpful. And when I wrote down everything that was in my mind and realised that I LITERALLY in power to change everything, that it's just the matter of my own choice... Wow, that was a pivoting moment! I'm sitting now and writing positive oppositions to my negative thoughts... and just feel so empowered and like I can reach everything I want to. I've already had couple of creative ideas appearing in my mind. It's unbelievable, hope I'll stick to that feeling. I'll be practicing it. Thank you SO MUCH!
A much-needed video! So beautiful and inspiring! Thank you Aileen!
what a beautiful intro that was! this video gave me the exact amount of motivation i needed! thankyou & thankyou so much for everything that you do. im sure that you have helped many other people find that confidence in themselves including me ♡
Love this so much 💜 thank you for the inspiration Aileen!
Just found your channel because of AmyTV. So glad she said something because your videos are sooo wholesome. Thank you!
Love it. Flowers comparison is simply terrific.🌹🌷
I thank GOD for your kind words! 🥺you are such a blessing💛
Thank you for being my guarding angel on earth 🙏 your honest and authentic which is really rare.
It has become a persistent habit for me to subconsciously compare myself to other people -- I don't actually have a train of thought or formation of words in my head or I don't notice them, I simply just look at everyone and a dreadful feeling pulls down any energy I had to the floor. I'm working on it. Thank you so much
Melon Thanda keep working on it ✨
The introduction was very to the point. Loved the comparison of rose and lily. The visual was very aesthetic and joy to watch.
*I love this to the moon and back, la vie!*
The best video about comparison that I've watched so far. Thank you for putting in the work for this beautiful video. 💕
I look forward to your videos each week. Always so motivating and uplifting.
Your word is so powerful!
Such a great metaphor to focus on blooming or self development. There'll always be prettier, smarter, younger, wiser, braver, etc, it's tiring to compare yourself to others.
Thank you for this wonderful message and motivation. Your words of wisdom is so powerful ❤.
What such a beautiful intro. I just loved the way you explained that we all are flowers and that a flower is not thinking about competing with other, it's just blooms ❤