How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (A Flower Blooms)
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Let's stop comparing ourselves to each other and instead, start loving ourselves and supporting each other fully. This video comes in two parts: A Flower Blooms vignette, and then practical tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others.
// A Flower Blooms
Read the words here: lavendaire.com/...
A Flower Blooms is about how we tend to feel insecure or unworthy when we compare ourselves to others. Yes, this girl may be smart, talented, creative, beautiful, and that’s true. But that doesn’t diminish who you are. Why do you shrink when you see that? You are beautiful, smart, talented, creative, capable too. You are a light, too.
You are both beautiful in your own right. Her beauty does not diminish your beauty. Your beauty does not diminish hers. Instead of comparing and competing, you might find that you two actually complement each other, and you two together = better & more than when you stood apart. If you can bloom confidently, you’ll find that you’re stronger and happier when you stand together.
“A flower does not think about competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
In order to move towards a more supportive & loving community, we must start with our own self love & confidence. You must bloom, confidently. Know your self worth. Love yourself. Only then can you move forward to support others compassionately and positively.
// related
→ how to stop being insecure | bit.ly/2I4h97P
→ self worth & comparison traps | bit.ly/2XzbP3n
→ personal inspirations map | bit.ly/2vGPF2P
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Edited by Loryn Teranishi | @yoloryn
Music by Epidemic Sound - bit.ly/2IBCok1 (30 day free trial)
Outro music by Eventide | bit.ly/2wW9Xa8
// M A I L B O X
Aileen Xu
PO Box 296
Brea, CA 92822
Business inquiries | lavendaire@select.co
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// A B O U T
I’m Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.
Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love.
Subscribe to Lavendaire to get inspired by new videos weekly! bit.ly/sublaven...
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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own. Some links I share are affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them. Any PR samples or gifts are marked with an (*).
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I deleted All my social media acounts and it was the best decision I made this year. As beautiful as social media is, to my eyes it is more poison than blessing.
You are going to benefit a lot from this decision :D focus on what you love and stay rooted to your reality, not to a one that is superficial and inexistent !
Jera T. That’s a good idea. Media is more of a tool, and you can always control what you would want to see in your life. Tools are made to make your life easier, not harder
Update: I stuck to my decision and have not regretted it in the least. The thing is, once you quit, there is nothing reminding you of what you are allegedly missing, so you don't notice what is not demanding your attention anymore. What you notice, is all the time and energy that is suddenly available. I am much more focused, have more time than I realized, and am much more content and confident than before. It was the best decision I made in a while. Give it a try if you like!
@@justatinyhalfling You motivated me to delete my instagram account ❤❤Thank you very much. I'll post updates here 💖💖💖💖
@@andjela523 That is wonderful!! 💕 I hope you will feel the benefits as much as I do. Good luck!
The comparison at the beginning is beautiful 🌹🌷
I totally agree
Yes
"One person's success doesn`t diminish what you have. You are unique. You have your own set of strengths, gifts, talents, life experience"
I loved the video, I loved the metaphor and I am happy to hear those word right now! 💕
greta maria yes! Thank you ❤️
Well said
tym
BeYOUtiful! Someone else’s shine doesn’t diminish your own. Comparison is, indeed, a thief of joy!! Being that we know exactly what goes on in our lives, comparing ourselves to others may be easy. However, remember you do not know what happens when the camera turns off. You are beautiful, you are worthy of love, respect and happiness! From a self love content creator to another.. this is an mazing video Aileen!! ❤️
The abundance is REAL! Celebrate others' wins!
theFitty Always! Together we stand stronger!! 💕
Yes!!
@@F0reverblessed
theFitty Thank you beauty! 💛
I felt motivate everytime I listen to your words...thank you so much...love you so much!!
Lusten to her podcasts too!
@@Thefitty where can i find them ?
@@galaxytechamina4229 I do castbox! It's my favourite app
@@Thefitty thank you !
@@galaxytechamina4229 you are so so welcome!
I love how you use Rose and Lily as a metaphor. And how you said that instead of comparing, why not compliment each other?! I like how you're filled with so much vibrant and positivity. Please do continue being YOU. Love you and more power!! 💛💛
Dear no One 😸 thank you! I also liked that both words “complement” and “compliment” work hehe. Flowers complement each other in a bouquet, same as people in a team. And we can compliment each other too. Hehe ok I’m done
Self worth are always hard to realize especially for people who look it as a negative one. Thank you for reminding me again about it ❤
Ishin Elizabeth ❤️❤️
" A flower just blooms" is now my favorite quote❤ This video inspired me so much. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and bring light in my life. 🌸
Love from Italy❤
*there is more than enough abundance to go around everywhere. When you see someone else where you want to be, it's a sign of your own upcoming achievements!*
thank you for this!
@@TysonMichael77 glad you found it helpful!
Very true
@@BriaBarrows I'm glad you agree!:) Where are you calling in more abundance in your life?
Best in life not to complain,
criticise or compare. Also do
not live up to the expectations
of others. Unless it is taxes,
rules or regulations. Excellent
points mentioned. The flowers
at the beginning are gorgeous.
YEAH I COMPARE MY SELF TO OTHERS ALL THE TIME😫💕
Me too ;(
_me too. But let’s remember that we don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. The person you could compare yourself too might be depressed or might have a terrible family life._
@je suis une baleine mais ton nom de chaîne... :/ je doute que tu soies un cétacés #FakeNew
me too
"A flower just blooms", wow. Very profound.
I love the flower part 😭 A good way to overcome jealousy is to replace the feeling with joy for the other person, by feeling their happiness. Eventually it becomes a habit!
I’m a sunflower 🌻 in a field of other beautiful flowers. I don’t always believe I’m just as beautiful as other girls or have a good enough body, but I’m working on building myself up.
I've definitely had to unfollow people on social media because they triggered my insecurities. But I can definitely attest to the fact that building self worth helps so much with how I feel about other people's successes.
1:00 I just thought what I was black rose??
( it's just random)
All I need to do is keep blooming and wait for the people who loves black roses
just because I'm surrounding by people who loves pink roses doesn't mean I'm unworthy or ugly. It's just they have different taste they like pink roses .
That also doesn't mean no one likes black roses there are people who loves black roses and value them so much .
Write beautiful poetries & books about them too All you have to do is bloom and the person who loves you will find a way towards you anyhow .
Will do anything to keep you healthy & blooming ✨🌿.
You really opened my eyes 🥹💜. You changed my mindset & perspective in a postive way 💌💖.
Thank you so much I already subscribed you channel long ago & I watch your all videos so many times 💕✨.
You're really helping young people like me so much ⚜️❤️
I really love your videos. I watch your videos for few years ,really inspired me, I love you
THE INTRO MADE ME CRY LIKE A BABY !!! What a beautiful video , THANK YOU so much for sharing this with us .
this made me stop sobbing cuz I'm one year behind than my peers
thank you so much
greetings from Egypt 💜🇪🇬🇪🇬
I watch your video in order to not only perfect myself but also learn English. Love your voice ❤❤❤
Same
Hello vietnamese...😂
Hello Phương Nhã. Bạn cũng đang học tiếng anh ?
Kim Chi Channel Phép Thuật hihi exactly👍
same❤️😂
“Success is not measured by what you do compared to what somebody else does. Success is measured by what you do compared to what you are capable of doing “ sharing some love with all of you guys
well that's a depressing sentiment..
Wow. Just yesterday night a weird bout of "I'm not that good at anything," comparing myself to others, which was never something common for me. Then woke up to this. We have in our lives everything we need 💕
I wrote positive things about me in a small note book and I read it everyday before going to sleep and I always remember my self before going to bed that I love my self .. and I have on my mirror small papers that gives me motivation + soon I’ll do a jar with a lot of messages that says things that I love about myself 💖
Fxm Space _that’s nice. I might do that. Is it helpful?_
I love your quote: "A flower does not compare itself to others. A flower just blooms". Thanks a lot! Your video helped me during my tough times. It made me be aware of my thoughts and realize that I should make changes instead of diving in mental breakdown >
I was literately JUST comparing myself to my friends seconds before this video popped up in my recommended section. Thank you Aileen!
It has become a persistent habit for me to subconsciously compare myself to other people -- I don't actually have a train of thought or formation of words in my head or I don't notice them, I simply just look at everyone and a dreadful feeling pulls down any energy I had to the floor. I'm working on it. Thank you so much
Melon Thanda keep working on it ✨
"Its not a competition, its a community.". That is gold. Thank you so much. I also enjoyed the rose versus the lily. Profound message.😊
My favorite times to recite affirmations for me is as I'm going to sleep, and as I'm waking up. It makes such a difference. I sometimes catch myself slacking off during workout and realize that my brain is empty or I'm starting negative thought spirals saying, "ugh this is hard, I'm getting tired, I can't do this." So I have been trying to catch myself during exercise and encourage myself instead and purposely smile to lift my energies and be thankful to God for working in me like this!
I'm loving this series, it really is putting so many words to some of my thoughts and processes of self discovery and transformation. Thank you Aileen ♡
The intro is so beautiful, it made me emotional. My mind is flooded with negative thoughts lately. I keep worrying about things that didn't even happen yet and it's all because of my lack of esteem and tendency to compare myself to others. This whole self-love series is so inspiring. Thank you!! 💜
I feel you🥺
Chinese & Spanish subtitles are available! Click "CC" and check the video settings. Thank you to the contributors listed in the description 💕
Tq
@@lakshmisarada6444 malayali alle
I love the metaphor you use in the beginning! ❤️ such a great intro! Love the tips as always 😊
I find it hard at times and compare. I have scars all over my face and upper body. But I never give up and move on.
I still see myself as good looking because I know I am inside. I am an honest man, I love people and love helping them, and I see myself as what I should be and not in my flawed state.
My love and desire to help others I feel makes me more likable and it helps battle my comparison thoughts.
I live by the creed: Never give up. Keep moving forward. Keep taking the hits and keep moving forward. It’s not how hard I get hit, but how I keep moving forward.
Thank you so much! this video made me feel much better , i was comparing myself to my friends their productivity and talent for something i want to have a talent for , and i realised something from this video , you must axcept ur weaknesses and cherish your strenghts , now i just gotta learn what are my strenghts '-_-
Comparison is definitely the thief of joy! It's so easy to devalue ourselves! Let's change our beliefs!
🌟 Check out the NEW Create Your Dream Life Course: lavendaire.com/dreamlife
Thanks for the love on this video ^_^ I actually had the idea for "A Flower Blooms" last year in Nov but I just didn't know how to make it. Originally I wanted to shoot it in a studio & a crew but it was so out of my comfort zone I just didn't get around to planning it. I ended up waiting til spring when flowers were in bloom so we could shoot some flower field scenes lol. Done is better than perfect. Read the words here: lavendaire.com/a-flower-blooms
It is a Perfect video dear. Trust us
😘😘
its sooooo beautiful. Really loved that intro!!
It is so beautiful!
You have a fan From the lowest point on earth (literaly). Love youre vedios ❤❤!
The lily and rose has helped me to understand ALOT! I use to compare myself to my sister but now I don’t and I felt freeer. We all have our own journey.
natsmyspace _it’s worse when your parents compare you to other people, but you have no intentions to compare yourself to other people._
I died when I saw the intro. Omg!! So beautiful!!!!! 😍😍😍
I can't relate to anyone who compare themselves to other people lol. But I love that intro!
I don't compare myself to other people because I already understand that I am a soul connected to the universe and other people's success does not mean my life suck. We should all celebrate other people's success, happiness and victories instead of comparing ourselves to other people because that does not contribute to anyone's life. So to everyone who can relate to Aileen's video. Why do you compare yourself to other people? Ask yourself; Will it really help you in life to view others through the eyes of negativity?
If the answer is no, then just shift your mindset to something that contribute to your own happiness. It is as simple as that
The only person we need to compare ourselves to is ourselves. Sometimes you need to have tunnel vision when it comes you your goals and just focus on your own progress. That holds true for life and for success
I always compare myself to all people around me then felt so bad and hate myself so much. Until i watched this, thank you so much
You really have positive feeling. Everytime I'm watching your video something inside me say to me to get up and be more productive. Thank you 😊
Aileen you’re one of my biggest inspirations to this day. I can relate to you and so much of your story. As a 21 year old about to graduate next week with a bachelors of journalism, I’ve changed my mind countless times about my career path. But I know that I’m not meant to be here and live a mediocre life. I have a voice and things to say. I love your transparency because it’s what I’ve always been passionate about in my writing and sharing. Now that I’m graduating I have more time on my hands and you’ve inspired me to finally take the leap and start my blog. Instead of comparing myself saying “there’s too many out there, it’s too late” I know I have unique things to say, offer and give. Thank you for reminding me of this in this video.💛
Oh my gosh, this is awesome 👏
The comparison between lily and rose is so revealing and touching. Let us all blossom! Thank you 🙏 so much for these videos
omg the allegory in the beginning is everything! i definitely think this sparks a new approach to comparing myself with others. it's difficult of course, the real world isn't filled with photos of a certain type of flower but filled with photos of a certain body/appearance/success/etc. But it's all about the confidence you radiate, with that we can change the world :)
The comparison you showed first is something my mom tells me everytime. She also adds that there might be flowers that are found attractive by many and others less but that does not take away the value of the later. And that's really wonderful.
Such a great metaphor to focus on blooming or self development. There'll always be prettier, smarter, younger, wiser, braver, etc, it's tiring to compare yourself to others.
You inspire me I don’t know you but when I watch your videos I feel like I want to be someone that have the same energy and personality you have changed me in so many ways I thank you I think of you as my best friend
*Anyone else loves her videos?? they are so inspiring!*
Btw I am a small RUclipsr
Yes!
Btw- awesome!!
Me too!! Small RUclipsrs unite! :)
This is so beautiful I’m in tears.. When you said “Flower. Just. Bloom.” I felt like that’s something I needed to hear for a long time. Thank you for creating this video and sending out the beautiful and important message. Your words are going to forever change my life x
Your videos makes me feel better😭 this is one of the best video that I've watched from you. It really hits me and helps me at the same time. This serves an inspiration to me to live, to be happy with my life and be contented with what I have. I'm crying while writing this, so many realizations from you. I struggle a lot with my insecurities and comparing myself constantly with others. I just want you to know that I'm one of the people that you've help and give inspiration to live their life. I love you and continue to make a lot of powerful videos😘
_i compare myself to others too. I feel inferior to them._
Hi, just wanted to say that you're videos that you post recently are the things i needed to hear right now.
Thank you!! 😢
I can't describe how much this video has helped me. I really really needed it. Please keep making such videos. You have no idea how influential you are for all of us❤️
Thankyou you changed my life totally 😭❤
Ive always used to compare myself to others i used to cry in the nights thanking about how i looked and myself
But thankyou for this remedy
I believe in my self that iam beautiful
Even though people say im ugly i love myself ♡!!!!
I wish to spread this messages to all the people who were suffered like me :)
Thankyou so much
This video was such a beautiful idea, thank you for creating it!
I've noticed I can already note one comparison I made while watching: "Aileen is such a successful and self-sufficient adult and look at me, I'm such a failure." It hurts when I realize it's something I've just said to myself...
I've also acknowledged one more thing - my father would always say how life is a competition and you have to be tough not to be destroyed by other people. He must have drilled it into my mind because I have never believed I will be good enough, hard-working enough and ambitious enough. The first step is realization though, isn't it? 💛
I love to see others succeed it brings joy to my heart. I’m the best cheerleader for the people whom I love. But I would also like to have good things happen for me once in a while.
All the youngsters of this present generation should watch this video... thank you so much for Ur wonderful video... with Love ❤️💓💓
You never cease to amaze me! Your wisdom is so helpful to me and many around the world 🌍 never forget that what you are doing is helping someone on our planet to feel a little better and see our planet in a new way 🌏😊
Lots of love from the UK 🇬🇧🌍
Thank you a lot. Comparing myself is the thing I do the most:with my family and friends. Thank you ♥♥♥
I always come back to this when I feel unworthy or insecure
I love you Aileen🌷🌹
My low self esteem would make me feel bad about other people's success.. I always thought I was inferior to others.. now i'm working on not comparing myself to others and have higher self esteem!
Hi Aileen, Amazing discussion today. The age old 'Flower' example is perfect for all of us to remember that we are all human yet we are all beautifully unique 💖👑
I like thinking of it this way: policing your mind for negative thoughts is like catching you with your hand in the cookie jar. Don't do it (think negatively)! It's a trap! Don't fall for it! Instead, learn from it. I know it's easier said than done, but do your best!
This video is beautiful. Last week I went to a botanical garden as an artist date and just started talking to certain flowers. I came back with more revelations in my writings. When you said "the journey is within", it truly sums up everything so well.
I am still working on the issue of when my overprotective mom diminishes my light. I know she says things out of worries and there are moments when it makes me cower. I am learning to become more confident, but it really takes time. You've mentioned in one video about your relationship with your dad and that made me feel that I am not alone in this journey.
As always, thanks Aileen for your wonderful talks (:
I have been thru these "comparison days" and its horrible no matter how good we are somehow comparison makes us feel like we are nothing. I deleted one of my social media accounts and that helped a lot because using that social media account i started realising that this comparison thing is harming me so much . Like i had turned into something i wasnt happy about like feeling jealous , being over curious , comparing myself with others . Deleting social media apps helps . I feel even praying helps a lot . Praying calms down the mind .
I think the most important thing is to be the best version of YOURSELF. Look at all the personality traits and interests that you have and use them in the best possible way. You just have to spend time knowing yourself. And yes must have compassion for others
you are the most beautiful person i've ever seen and “feel” ☘
Years ago I also deleted my Facebook account, and what a peace and relief this gave in my head. Sometimes I doubt whether I would make a new account. But when I think back to that period, I think ... nooooo 😉💛
wow that has to be the best intro of all time. beautiful metaphor! im still learning how to stop comparing myself to others.
listening to Aileen while designing my vision board. I don't think I'll get tired of watching or listening to your videos and podcasts. thank you!
The visual aesthetic and these messages!!!!! You killed it again 💜 thank you for your words 💐🌸🌷🌼🌹🌻🌺
I listened this now and I need more good words like this ! ❤ Thank you and all the best everyone, be happy and live yourself to fullest! You are worth , you are important and you are amazing :))
Don't think less of yourself then you would of your role model. Sending lots of love and support. 💞💞💞
I always feel that I’m not good enough and I suffer from low esteem. But I’m really working upon my personality. Your videos are of great help. Love from India
The intro was so beautiful😭 each flower blooms on their own and has their own unique traits..just like how each person has their own traits that make them stand out💖 thank you for this❤️
When you did the flower metaphor I couldn't help but be reminded of Ouran High School Host Club. Esp one of the characters eventually drawing outside his restricted canvas to really bloom. It just brought a wave of nostalgia.
And this is a message for me. I'm really trying to get rid of deeply ingrained limited beliefs and comparisons. My anxiety and comparisons really heightened when I joined the job force (not career wise yet) . So it's a constant battle with really myself.
You're helping so many people out here thank you so much!!!
I ALWAYS compare my life to others. I'm 28 and I've always been single my entire life. I ask myself, "why am I single? I see so many people in couple or getting married whereas I can't find a partner". This video helped me a lot
Each flower has it's own unique beauty... you can't make comparisons ♡♡♡♡ each flower is beautiful ! what a beautiful message... beautiful video ♡♡♡♡
I loved this analogy so much, especially because I love flowers and they bring so much joy to me. I love your channel so much!
This is such a beautiful analogy and so important! Thank you for reminding us that everyone of us is special, unique and worthy.
Be Grateful too!
Such an inspiring video! This is my area of struggle sometimes. I have to remind myself that NOBODY is perfect and everyone is struggling with something. Comparison never leads to anything positive if you approach it from a point of looking at how inadequate your life is in comparison to theirs. But if you can definitely look at someone's success and learn from them! And remember that their success has no bearing on yours!
Thank you so much for this video. I searched all night online for content that helped me address the issues I am currently facing and you nailed everything. You've helped in leading me to bloom. For that, I love you!
I've been watching your videos for over an year now, and i'm so so thankful I've found your channel. It has been a big help on my journey. Thanks for being this amazing person
Thank you so much for this video! I constantly find myself comparing my success to others, and I'm so tired of it. It makes me feel worthless, and it always makes me feel like I have to do better. The same words appear in my head when I see others doing well, "I'm not good enough, I need to try harder". These thoughts have been getting the best of me, but this video really helped. I'll definitely try out the idea of writing down all my negative thoughts! Recognizing my self worth isn't going to be easy, but I'll keep on trying until I finally see it :)
You are my consistent motivation because of this light that you have) Thank you for your work)
So many good points here. I did a video on perfectionism and also brought up that part of being the perfect perfectionist is not comparing yourself to others.
I love your tips 🌸 how I shut down the comparison and negative feelings about myself (when I catch myself doing it as a lot of times it’s subconscious) is I imagine what if that person was my sister or daughter etc. the love and pride I then began to feel for them puts everything back into perspective.
I always copy someone whom I compared myself, but by this video. you made me realized that everyone blooms in different ways. that I need to focus who am I . and believe myself that I'm unique.. Thank you .. you inspired me a lot .more love ❤
I've actually delete one specific account from Instagram. A year ago I had an account where I used to follow family and old classmates and some people how inspired me to grow. But I noticed how bad was for me to keep seeing post of some relatives and classmates who weren't positive to me. They just have a different life style or some opinion on topics that directly affected myself and the experiences I've been through.
It was a super important desicion and had a positive impact on my life. From that moment I felt charged of positiviity and inspiration from people whom I actually admire. I felt bad for a while, but it was necesary. My old self was so attached to relatives and classmates that i was so afraid so start changing.
I'm still going through some issues related to social media, but I like it, it is a place to explore my creativity as well!
Thank you for being my guarding angel on earth 🙏 your honest and authentic which is really rare.
My goodness. You are so young and so wise. I am 68 an I learn so much from you.
FERN VEDA wow, amazing. I appreciate you being here ❤️
Thank you so much for this! Im an artist/drawist but whenever i see my friends art it just drags me down to lvl 0 so my mind became so toxic at firt i thought it was just envy, jelousy but after watching this video i realize that i was compairing myself to her for the sake of my own insecuritys. Now i realize it never was a competition but a journey.
So thank you so much for this am doing better now and whenever i do art i always watch ur vids for motivation! So once again thank you and stay safe! ❤❤❤
Always comparison to other people is necessary in life 💯
That quote. It just blooms. I'm very competitive and that, your words will help me for sure.
Thanks!
I truly appreciate the support. thank you!! 💛
The timing is just wonderful I was literally on call with my mom telling her how I felt like everyone was so ahead of me and I'm just blah etc...
I love love love the analogy of flowers and how they are all so beautiful, and they even complement each other in their difference. Life is so much more beautiful with variety!
This was so inspiring and beautiful 😍
Thank you for sharing your light with us
And from now I am going to change my bad all those bad habits .. day by day
Thank you for inspiring me alot ❤❤❤