To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining. For more videos click the JOIN button.
As an elder, who didn't have words to describe my gender or attractions when I was a young adult, I am fascinated by the ways people are currently expressing who they are and how they operate in the world. Fortunately, I have grandchildren in their twenties who can say, "Grandma, I'm going to lend you this book". I enjoyed this talk of yours, Mark, because you talk about the science, which validates what I have always known/suspected. While I have run into the confusion of too many labels to choose from, I also recognize the problem of not having adequate language at all. I'm deeply grateful for your work of clarifying the complicated or, as the old saying goes, "unscrewing the inscrutable". Love & light!
Continue to blow my mind about bisexuality heard about bisexuality half a decade ago and to this very day still learning more about it still continue to amaze
I want to say thank you for your content because it gave us visibility and it can help a lot of people. As a bi guy (even if I always question my self and tell me if I am not just gay and then I remember that a women can be hot and I tell myself that’s a peak bi experience even if I like guys more 95/5) it can surprise myself of how people can experience bisexuality in so many different ways. And you are so calm and you love to share your experience with other people. You definitely have my like and subscribe and thanks for all yours kind vidéo you do !!!
I can’t express how much you and your content has been an oasis in the desert of the hatred and biphobia. I discovered you a year ago as I was recovering from my crisis and I am so happy I did. Thank you.
Happy Bi+ visibility/awareness month everyone. That includes everyone on the bi+ spectrum; all multisexual and multiromantic (bi, pan, fellow omnis, polysexual, and other m--spec identities) people under the bi+ umbrella deserve to be validated and loved. Have a great Bi+ pride month, and thanks to our allies who support us!! Sending all my bi+ love and validation!
Rugby lads is the perfect example. Honestly, with the way they look and the way the game is played, I don't know how they keep their hands off each other.
Haha I know, nature can be so annoying when trying to record! 😂😂 my neighbour also LOVES to mow the lawn like all the time. Just at the moment I’m filming. It’s like 😐😐😐
Very interesting. I discovered my bisexuality listening asmr trought a receptive atraction. I never experience that kind of flirting irl but from audio I was enjoying more than a straight person would lol
I often find myself micro agressed in LGBT+ circles. Tried to explain it to my FTM crush the other day how that feels and got called a "b1tch." Wants to put me in dresses and stuff. He was just teasing and having fun, but someone else who is not open and is living in guilt for who they are might not laugh that off like I can. Like I thought the point of the community was that love is love? Gender is for nerds? And labels are stupid? So what if i wanna wear makeup and dance the tango? So what If I would rather cry than fight? That doesnt mean its ok to constantly imply my open sexuality is a front for an issue with my gender identity. Why is it wrong for me to like to be pretty and demure? Why does that have to say anything? Bisexuality is a complete and fluid identity. It is not a stepping stone.
The most interesting point to me is the spectrum question. We have a national census every few years in Australia and last week it was found out that lgbtiqa+ data was not going to be included, after public outcry (particularly from peak lgbtqia+ peak bodies) the government backflipped. After watching your video I’m wondering whether a question about sexual orientation on a scale as an extra question would be helpful.
I am whatever you said about the lesbian woman. I’m mostly attracted to men but 1 out of every 10 women or so I am both romantically and sexually attracted to. I’ll be honest though I hate the term fluid because it sounds unreliable and cheater-vibes.
This stuff gets so confusing to think about and yet has such an impact on a persons life in this culture! I have identified as bi before, had a girlfriend, we had great sex and I really was in love. However otherwise i have been predominantly attracted to men. I call myself gay to my friends because people can't really deal with the whole story, and I dont want to unpack their judgement of my story. I would love to have kids some day and i feel like i dont fit in anywhere. Unfortunately, thr politics of gay rights have really reinforced the sexuality binary...
If you look at the work of Dr Lisa M Diamond on sexual fluidity you will find the work as well as citations to other research. Her book on sexual fluidity in towards the end of the book has a lot of detail on this. Also YouGov Kinsey scale research 2015 online and Lancaster university Yu et al. Sexual fluidity. You can look these all up on google and you’ll find them.
Hi Mark, I was just wondering if I could get some advice. TLDR I'm heterosexual and my partner is bisexual weve been together for 10 years. She has never explored her sexuality. She said she doesn't know if she is bisexual or just lesiban. She broke up with me but we are on very good terms we're bestfriends. She told me she still loves and cares for me very much. I dont want the relationship to end, but I love and respect her as well. I've watched alot of your videos and its helped me understand much better about where she is comming from. But is there any advice you could give me in this situation?
Hey thanks for reaching out. You can absolutely be together. It depends on what your former partner is feeling. I would break down the concepts so instead of asking “can we be in a relationship?” I would start with what you have and see what would feel good to add to the friendship, if anything. You have a relationship right now, so what is it that you both would add if anything? It could be starting very small. Affection, dates? Cuddles? Touch? Or maybe none of that and you could add living together, being each others next of kin. Break down the parts of a relationship and reimagine what it could look like. Sometimes being fully romantic, committed and sexual is a lot but there are elements that you both could have beneath that. I hope this helps. Happy to discuss in 1:1 if you’d like. Www.notdefining.com you can book a session and we can chat. Otherwise I wish you both all the very best.
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
As an elder, who didn't have words to describe my gender or attractions when I was a young adult, I am fascinated by the ways people are currently expressing who they are and how they operate in the world. Fortunately, I have grandchildren in their twenties who can say, "Grandma, I'm going to lend you this book". I enjoyed this talk of yours, Mark, because you talk about the science, which validates what I have always known/suspected. While I have run into the confusion of too many labels to choose from, I also recognize the problem of not having adequate language at all. I'm deeply grateful for your work of clarifying the complicated or, as the old saying goes, "unscrewing the inscrutable". Love & light!
Hey thank you so much. I’m so glad it was helpful.
Continue to blow my mind about bisexuality heard about bisexuality half a decade ago and to this very day still learning more about it still continue to amaze
Hey I’m so glad it was helpful. My pleasure.
I want to say thank you for your content because it gave us visibility and it can help a lot of people. As a bi guy (even if I always question my self and tell me if I am not just gay and then I remember that a women can be hot and I tell myself that’s a peak bi experience even if I like guys more 95/5) it can surprise myself of how people can experience bisexuality in so many different ways. And you are so calm and you love to share your experience with other people. You definitely have my like and subscribe and thanks for all yours kind vidéo you do !!!
Hey thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad you’re here.
I can’t express how much you and your content has been an oasis in the desert of the hatred and biphobia. I discovered you a year ago as I was recovering from my crisis and I am so happy I did. Thank you.
Thank you this just made my day. I’m so glad you are here and appreciate you taking the time to write this.
Happy Bi+ visibility/awareness month everyone. That includes everyone on the bi+ spectrum; all multisexual and multiromantic (bi, pan, fellow omnis, polysexual, and other m--spec identities) people under the bi+ umbrella deserve to be validated and loved. Have a great Bi+ pride month, and thanks to our allies who support us!!
Sending all my bi+ love and validation!
Hey thank you so much for this.
bisexual guy here
Hey brother 🩷💜💙
Rugby lads is the perfect example. Honestly, with the way they look and the way the game is played, I don't know how they keep their hands off each other.
I mean…I know right? Love to the beautiful rugby lads out there. Call me! 😂
@notdefining They're big, they're strong, they're fast, and they joyfully beat the living daylights out of each other.
Hi Mark~ Thank you so much for all of the videos you make
Thank you for this lovely message. It really made my day. You are doing so well. Keep going, you’ve got this.
Omg seagulls in the background
Haha I know, nature can be so annoying when trying to record! 😂😂 my neighbour also LOVES to mow the lawn like all the time. Just at the moment I’m filming. It’s like 😐😐😐
Very interesting. I discovered my bisexuality listening asmr trought a receptive atraction.
I never experience that kind of flirting irl but from audio I was enjoying more than a straight person would lol
Hey that’s so cool. Absolutely get how that could happen.
This was so interesting and you have such a great way of articulating what is a very complex topic 👏🏼
Hey thank you so much for saying.
I often find myself micro agressed in LGBT+ circles. Tried to explain it to my FTM crush the other day how that feels and got called a "b1tch." Wants to put me in dresses and stuff. He was just teasing and having fun, but someone else who is not open and is living in guilt for who they are might not laugh that off like I can.
Like I thought the point of the community was that love is love? Gender is for nerds? And labels are stupid?
So what if i wanna wear makeup and dance the tango? So what If I would rather cry than fight?
That doesnt mean its ok to constantly imply my open sexuality is a front for an issue with my gender identity.
Why is it wrong for me to like to be pretty and demure? Why does that have to say anything?
Bisexuality is a complete and fluid identity. It is not a stepping stone.
Hey thanks for sharing. I’m sorry you have had to experience this. It is sadly something we have to go through sometimes. You are not alone.
The most interesting point to me is the spectrum question. We have a national census every few years in Australia and last week it was found out that lgbtiqa+ data was not going to be included, after public outcry (particularly from peak lgbtqia+ peak bodies) the government backflipped. After watching your video I’m wondering whether a question about sexual orientation on a scale as an extra question would be helpful.
Yes in the census here it lists a few categories and says nothing about what people actually experience but there you go.
I am whatever you said about the lesbian woman. I’m mostly attracted to men but 1 out of every 10 women or so I am both romantically and sexually attracted to. I’ll be honest though I hate the term fluid because it sounds unreliable and cheater-vibes.
Hey that’s okay not to use it if it doesn’t feel right for you. For sure.
I'm kinda in the same boat. Prefer women but wouldn't say no to the right guy. I'm just coming to terms with who I am at 52.
@@adamblakeman1172 well you sound more straight leaning than me.
like your video, the best bisexual coach you are🥰
Hey thanks so much.
Educational, interesting and liberating.
Thank you I’m so glad it was helpful. Thanks for tuning in.
This stuff gets so confusing to think about and yet has such an impact on a persons life in this culture! I have identified as bi before, had a girlfriend, we had great sex and I really was in love. However otherwise i have been predominantly attracted to men. I call myself gay to my friends because people can't really deal with the whole story, and I dont want to unpack their judgement of my story. I would love to have kids some day and i feel like i dont fit in anywhere. Unfortunately, thr politics of gay rights have really reinforced the sexuality binary...
Hey thanks for sharing this. I feel you.
5:36 You are describing me right now!
Hey Mark, could you please list the scientific papers you are quoting or refering to? 🙏
Thanks for creating good content 😊
If you look at the work of Dr Lisa M Diamond on sexual fluidity you will find the work as well as citations to other research. Her book on sexual fluidity in towards the end of the book has a lot of detail on this. Also YouGov Kinsey scale research 2015 online and Lancaster university Yu et al. Sexual fluidity. You can look these all up on google and you’ll find them.
I am Pan/DemiRomantic but so far I'm grey with men and cupiosexual if you have a certain male body part.
Hey thanks for sharing. I appreciate this.
Hi Mark, I was just wondering if I could get some advice. TLDR I'm heterosexual and my partner is bisexual weve been together for 10 years. She has never explored her sexuality. She said she doesn't know if she is bisexual or just lesiban. She broke up with me but we are on very good terms we're bestfriends. She told me she still loves and cares for me very much. I dont want the relationship to end, but I love and respect her as well. I've watched alot of your videos and its helped me understand much better about where she is comming from. But is there any advice you could give me in this situation?
Hey thanks for reaching out. You can absolutely be together. It depends on what your former partner is feeling. I would break down the concepts so instead of asking “can we be in a relationship?” I would start with what you have and see what would feel good to add to the friendship, if anything. You have a relationship right now, so what is it that you both would add if anything? It could be starting very small. Affection, dates? Cuddles? Touch? Or maybe none of that and you could add living together, being each others next of kin. Break down the parts of a relationship and reimagine what it could look like. Sometimes being fully romantic, committed and sexual is a lot but there are elements that you both could have beneath that. I hope this helps. Happy to discuss in 1:1 if you’d like. Www.notdefining.com you can book a session and we can chat. Otherwise I wish you both all the very best.
Well thank you so much for your words and responding to my comment. I brought up the 1 on 1 session with her but well see if she wants to.
Why is bisexuality conflated or confused with pansexuality now? Does receptive attraction entirely define demisexuality?
No Demisexuality is completely separate to receptive attraction. Bi people can be very pan. I am pan really but I use both labels.
🩷💜💙
🩷💜💙 bi bi
Haha biiiii 🩷🩷🩷