Why We Hate Bi Women
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2024
- Why tf don't people like bisexual women? Do bi women just suck, no pun intended? Or is there more to it?
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As a bi woman, I don’t want men or women in particular just universal basic income
😂 Yessss! 🙌🏼 I thought I was the only one!
(u)bi woman
@@tenoreyequetis !!!!!
As another bi woman, I can confirm. But I also want a new jean jacket...
can that be a shirt?
The idea that bisexuality makes churchie folk angry because it's existence implies that you would have sex with more than one person in your life is honestly kind of hilarious🤣
Yeah. Back then it was until death departs us. And death then came quickly...
And now it is: one at a time.
it sounds like a gay priest's bi crush hooked up with a girl and he got really sad when he was writing that sermon.
As a Christian I do intend to only have sex with on person, but I'm still bi. It's a matter of attraction, not action. Your comment is super valid tho
@@bestbi3587 Bruh I thought I was one of the only bi christians out there
@@sana5426 the entirety of my grade at church: 👁️👄👁️
6 years after coming out as lesbian, I realized that I was actually bisexual. I cant explain to you the level of utter terror I felt to come out to my lesbian friends as bisexual. All I can say is that it was WAY harder to do that than it was to come out as lesbian. I felt like I was betraying them. Thankfully, most of my friends were cool.
I still haven't. But in my head Im the QUEEN of BI .
i really feel this at a personal level, sometimes even in the sapphic community i don't feel safe to say that i'm bisexual. the level of biphobia is ridiculously high, the whole "golden star lesbian" thing is so uncomfortable. i'm glad to know that most of your friends were cool
@@silverflvme I completely agree with you and thank you.
I HAVE THAT EXACT EXPERIENCE!! i swear i thought i was the only one!
@@SuzanneDeniseB ive also been told stuff by lesbians that like because in bisexual i cant be things like femme or reclaim my femininity n sexuality because im still attracted to men??? that kinda stuff rlly hurts especially because its just wrong n ignorant to assume that bisexual women somehow still "serve" men unlike the *real wlw*
I NEVER understood where the stupid, 'bisexuals are inherently non monogamous' thing came from until now, thank you for explaining
Fear and insecurities from our partners because of the theoretical, larger dating pool. Biphobia shrinks that pool down pretty quickly
Same
I remember telling my husband I was bisexual and he went through this adjustment period that kind of surprised me. It wasn't a huge thing, but apparently despite my having told him about women I'd had crushes on and just all kinds of experiences most couples are never able to discuss, he'd never put two and two together. For at least a few days it was awkward for him like he suddenly felt like he had twice as much competition. It ended up being a good thing but it was still weird because we've been together for ten years.
By that logic, I must be dating everyone then
I mean, im bi, i would like to have a monogamus relationship but i would try to have a polyamorous relationship aswell, they need to understand we are as monogamus as straight people is, is not like we cant control ourself
I honestly think it’s unhealthy to pretend like the only person you could ever be attracted to is the person you’re in a relationship with. At that point you’re relying on their attraction to you to stay with you rather than the fact that they love you for so much more than just a pretty face.
I guess that's where emotional and platonic attraction come into play. Not just aesthetic.
Sorry if I'm confused about any attractions, I'm ace
No one should ‘pretend’ anything. It’s either true or it’s not.
When I studied psychology in class they go into detail how there are different types of affection and love and no one over any other is better or worse than the other. Most of us have a hard time, especially in a relationship feel that's as a betraying someone else when that's furthest from the case.
A closed throuple makes more sense to me as a bisexual relationship.
@@someonesomeone25 closed bisexual throuples are so cute honestly. I personally prefer to be monogamous but I have some ot3 ships that I absolutely love
The biphobia is so wild, I knew this openly bisexual girl who got really uncomfortable and upset when her boyfriend said he might be bi, because she was worried about him leaving her for a dude.
*facepalm*
It okay for me to likey but when you likey me no likey
@Step Bro Help I'm Stuck! they were both bi, also wtf
@Step Bro Help I'm Stuck! well the you need therapy.
Partner and I were out to each other as bi back in highschool annnnd, yeah, we both had insecurities about the other's bisexuality ._. I remember being incredulous, like "wtf, why I am I feeling this insecurity, I'm literally also bi." We figured it out, thankfully :P
(been together for over 12 years now, too 😎)
She's probably not bi
I came out as bi and my BEST FRIEND called me greedy. I was like “wait, what? You know I’m not attracted to everyone I see, right? And I only ever date one person at a time?” Shut that right down and she never mentioned it again.
Heck, I’ve only ever had two serious relationships (to men), but that doesn’t make me any less bisexual..
I'll never understand how so many heterosexual people think that lgbt people are attracted to every person we see. Like where does that assumption even come from? 😅
@@zulemazahir666 I have no idea! My ab*sive ex fetishized my bisexuality and assumed not only that I would be “down” for a threesome, but that I would somehow be attracted to the same women! Neither were true and I was miserable with him 😞
@@MegDoesStuff0 I'm so glad to hear he's your ex now, definitely don't deserve to put up with that bullcrap. I've had dudes think I'd have a threesome with them too. The entitlement is unreal.
@@zulemazahir666 I appreciate it ❤️ My current bf and I have been in a relationship 3 separate times, and we’ve agreed this one is for the long haul or bust 🥰 we beat our record in 2020
As a teen this was pretty normalized. As an adult people should know better than this is just false
As a monogamous bi woman married to a monogamous bi man it's kinda hilarious to think that my attraction to a woman would make me cheat on someone who has been with me so long he's now an integral part of my identity.
As a bisexual monogamous man, your comment made my day
@@Sorriso386 I am a monogamous bisexual male too, and it so refreshing to see that more bisexuals shut down pigheaded people that put the seterotype that we aren't monogamous. What also make me mad, is that they say a bisexual want only threesome or just faking it, so they either really straight or just gay but isn't ready for coming out.
The key word here is monogamous. I think the bigger issue is that people may be bi (or gay/lesbian).. but also polyamourous and don't know how to communicate that. Hell straights barely know how to. Cheating to me is a conversation that didn't happen or was subverted and "physically" came out of the closet with devastating effects. Communication is key.. or if someone doesn't feel like it.. that person isn't for "you" (whomever that might be.)
I'm bisexual and I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now. The idea that bi people are inherently unfaithful is just lame?? At least for me, I'd never cheat on my partner, especially if we're in a long term relationship! Cheating is such a betrayal of trust and security in a relationship, and my love for women doesn't make me want to dump my boyfriend just for some girl-on-girl action. Thankfully, my boyfriend is really supportive of my bisexuality and doesn't hold any negative feelings about it
Same here! I love my male partner so much and while we both joke about it sometimes, my boyfriend only sees my bisexuality as a plus because we have some of the same celebrity crushes and both like looking at boobs together 😆. But I have never had the desire to cheat on any of my romantic partners in the past, and my boyfriend has never expressed any insecurity about me leaving him for a woman.
@@SP-mf9sh Damn, I'm sorry you've had some shit experiences. To be fair though, this seems to be an unfortunately common scenario regardless of gender and sexuality.
I don't even know why many people think bisexuality means you'll cheat on your partner because you like two genders lmao, what about pansexuals?
Yeah, I am dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years and he's really supportive. But I had friends tell me I should try x with a girl. Like why would you think it would be ok? I hate when people imply that when it's a girls it's not cheating.
@@SP-mf9sh lol so u hooked up with lot of girls
I admit, I’m out of touch... but I’m actually a bit depressed to hear that biphobia is still enough of a thing in the queer community to justify a vid. (You did a great job tho!)
I don't know, I watch videos on biphobia but I don't experience any in real life
I experience it a lot, unfortunately. People get more bold online than in real life, but the subtle biphobia is real.
Be depressed, for you are rightfully so. Still the reason why I've never been to a CSD and probably never will be.
I think the area you meet people has a lot to do with it. I didn't really experience it in the rave scene or at cc slaughters or whatever, but now that i tend to go out with women older than me, i see it a lot more.
@@Skag_Sisyphus I'm only 20 and I have a bad habit of falling for all my close friends so that probably has something to do with it
I've heard people say "oh why would bi women chose a man when they could have a woman?!" But what about when almost all the women I've tried to have serious relationships with are suspicious of me, or don't want to date me in the first place 😕
Accurate!
I was suspicious of most girls. In fact I am since the only relationship I've had with a girl is just a joke of heterosexual girl lasting for 3 months
And hence the skewing of bisexual women dating men more often than women.
frrrrr the best choice i made was dating a bi guy
i remember the first time i tried dating a girl, she dumped me for a guy and tried to keep me as a sort of side piece (and hiding the cheating by saying i’m just her friend). 0/10 would not recommend.
also a lot of lesbians think that bisexual girls aren’t actually into girls and won’t date a girl that hasn’t been sexually involved with a girl before
ALWAYS PRIORITIZE YOUR PETS OVER YOUR DATE!
If they're so grossed out by your cat's poop nuggets that they can't be decent, imagine how useful they're going to be when you have the flu, or food poisoning, or something longer term. Or if STI testing is necessary, or someone farts while you're...
I know THIS isn't the point of the video, but people treat animals the way they would treat people, if they could get away with it.
Your profile has me imagining that a cat is saying this and I'm very amused but maybe I'm just a little tipsy lol
As a cat I agree
I'd be mad pissed if someone I was dating dissed my cat. I've had her for 14 years! 6 more years and I would've had her for half my life (if she sticks around that long)! Clearly, my cat means a lot more.
I have two cats, two hamsters, and I make no apologies.
Y E S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See this idea that being attracted to multiple genders implies things about how you’d behave in a relationship always confused me. Like most people of most sexual orientations are attracted to more than one person in their life?? For some people, the people they’re attracted to just happen to identify with the same gender. But they might have different hair colors, for example. What is it about the gender of the person I’m attracted to, as opposed to hair color, that makes it imply something about me as a relational being?? Extremely confusing. Biphobes please respond
@@kieranemcgarry And the thing is is that some people are attracted to others while they are dating or married to someone; whether they are straight, bi, gay, pan, whatever orientation they are. So the fact that some people use this excuse to stoke their biphobic fires doesn't even make sense lol
Maybe because sometimes we reduce sexuality to sex and what body parts we find attractive. Some people might think that a bisexual person's ideal partner would be a trans woman with a dick and boobs or the bisexual will miss sucking on boobs or dick, because obviously those are the ideal body parts. Or what about hentai where you get dicks with a vagina instead of balls. Or the idea that all bi women want a threesome with men and women because we always want to touch every sexual body part that exists. Well I'm bisexual and I don't want to mish mash body parts and have bisexual orgies. I just want to be in a loving relationship with a kind person and I will not care about what body parts they have or don't have lmao.
@@Niniminns yeah like,,, asexual people exist too? Romantic and sexual attraction are separate? And some of us bisexuals don't even care about sex that much, I experience sexual attraction but I have a very low libido that I don't experience a need to have sex more than once every 3 months or something like that... So how am I more likely to cheat on my boyfriend just because I like women too? Why is the idea of me cheating on him with a woman worse than the idea of me cheating on him with another man??? I don't understand the double standards they're making my head hurt
I don't really understand this either.
@@ShieniLicksOnLemons You made me wonder, do you think bisexuals have a lower libido? I'm bi and sometimes I feel very confused if I'm biromantic instead bc my libido is fairly low
remembering that when my i was breaking up with my last boyfriend, he said "just promise me you arent leaving me for a woman" yup.
yeah talk about fragile masculinity
For me it was the opposite, my ex told me that he would prefer if I left him for a woman and not another man, because that would somehow mean he wasn't manly enough.
Or when you're coming out to your partner and he's like: "So you cheating on me with a woman?!!!"
And crying...
my ex came to me and asked me one day if it's bad to say if he thought it would be worse if I cheated on him with a woman. mind you, I never cheated on him and this was a random hypothetical he came to me with while I was doing laundry. this was after I came out to him in the relationship bc I came out of the closet fully (i had been with women casually before but wasn't comfortable with the label and thought I was mostly straight), and he laughed at me and jokingly said "you're trying to sneak your way into the LGBTQ community to feel special?" I didn't find it funny.
@@11hallucigenia11 and here we go again 🙄 you guys are really lost! My generation is really lost!
I came out to a female friend who happened to be lesbian about my bi-sexuality. I had just broken up with my first girlfriend and this friend knew I dated men and women in the past (I guess all that was okay as long as I never called myself the 'b' word?). She scoffed at me and told me that bisexuals do not exist and that my relationships with women were me looking to get more attention from men. I was confused and hurt by that. She just invalidated me and my whole experiences..which pissed me off. I snapped back. "Well then..since I seem to be a figment of your imagination..I will disappear now." Haven't spoken to her since.
youch
I understand how hurtful that is, but I will say that as a bisexual myself I have actually dealt with a female friend that was actively claiming to be bisexual for the attention of men. She told me how she kissed a girl while drunk at a party in the hopes that it would turn on the guy she was crushing on.. I didn't even know what to say to that in that moment and honestly if I would have called her out on it she would definitely have just labeled me as bigot.
On top of that whole thing she also frequently tried to bait me because she just liked to be admired, one night she said: "Isn't it weird how we've been friends for a year and we're both bisexual but we've never kissed?".
She'd undress around me and show off her lingerie all the time but there was never any sort of sexual relationship between us, she just wanted me to be into her without actually engaging in a sexual relationship and it made me feel used, it made me feel angry because she was the stereotype that people imprint on us and ultimately it just felt like she was mocking my bisexuality.
I know how shitty it is for people to claim that you're 'bisexual for attention' but unfortunately there is actually a small subset of women that claim to be bisexual yet don't actually have any attraction to women nor do they intend to ever actually engage with women sexually or romantically.
@@eev14 Doesn't give anyone an excuse to project that onto someone who says they are bi.
@@ML-tr1hz Absolutely doesn't, but I very much wasn't doing that, I was just pointing out how straight women treating bisexuality as an "experimental phase" or as a manipulative tool is really harmful to bisexual women.
We get enough shit anyway.
Good for you for doing the difficult work of officially calling toxic relationships off. I wish I have the strength.
Sometimes I think of myself lucky because even though I grew up in Nigeria that’s notoriously anti-LGBT to the point of death and jail, I still knew I was bisexual before I was even six and I was very quick to accept it, not once did I question myself or deny myself, I indulged and I was very happy with myself. It’s not until People at my boarding school started getting suspended and expelled for “practicing lesbianism“ that I got scared for the first time but I was never scared of my sexuality. I even came out to some people in my class and they were like “OK whatever, good for you boo”. While I have never come out officially to my immediate family I’m fine with it I don’t think it’s any of their business really and if they don’t except me well who cares? Definitely not me because I personally don’t think I was ever in the closet. I’m pretty sure the reasons I’m a monogamist is because I grew up in a polygamist country and have immediately rejected all forms of polyamory & polygamy because of all the trauma that those relationships have produced around me. Also I’m very lazy, I barely want to text one person let alone 2,3 or 4. I get overwhelmed when I see more than one notification, I can’t be obligated to text/call more than one person a day, I have messages on my phone that were sent last year that I still haven’t replied to.
Woah. In Gambian. How do y'all feel?
Lesbian nigerian girl here
I LOVE YOU FOR THIS
Haha. That last part. I am the same. How on earth can you have time to play people is my thought. Also I am extreme empath so I cant imagine lying to a partner. And it hurts so much when others treat you like shit. And yet I am bi. Go figure.
@@linaulnes8821 Polyamory isn't cheating. There's a difference. I'm currently dating two people and there is full transparency between us. None of us lie to each other. I definitely understand not having the energy to go for two or more people. However I have a lot of space in my heart for love and I give it to them both. It's definitely not something I recommend if you have a toxic relationship, though. That would be so draining.
I am bi and I have basically zero practice with either men or women since I was so scared and unprepared to be in a relationship for so long. So, even if I wanted to be a player, I would be terrible at it. Nah, Imma sticks to my comfy monogamous lifestyle. Just me, myself, and my single self at the moment. 😅
You spoke my language!
Same brother
wow I can’t believe you literally described me hahaha
Wow, my life laid out in a paragraph.
autogamy? should we coin the term?
I came out as a lesbian in my teen years, but in my early 20's I realized, I was bisexual. I remember the local LGBT community had a very mixed reaction to me coming out as bi. One woman exclaimed in disgust how "she truly didn't think i'd do such a thing", while others just treated me more coldly after the fact. It made me sad, but mostly confused, because I didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Hearing you describing the "pick a side" mentality, I definitely think that was the case back then. They felt like I had left their "team lesbian" for hetero men or some shit. Even my very supporting mom asked with a worrying look "are you SURE you're bisexual?", like someone had pressured me to turn bi, lmao. All in all I am very content with my bi-ness now and are in a long-term relationship with a bi-man. Great video by the way!
Hey, so I have a pretty similar story. I came out as a lesbian (cis) in my teens and at the time I was very confident in my sexuality, but I started questioning both my gender and my sexuality at 20 and discovered that I was non-binary and bi/pan. I think it's a shame that it's considered so taboo to talk about people who thought they were gay/lesbian and later discovered they were more sexually fluid, because it makes those people who used to identify as gay ashamed and scared to come out a second time. The fact that going from gay to bi is so stigmatised is honestly so biphobic, like saying that bisexuality is an inferior type of queerness.
@@toomanysandwiches8665 lmao, you're hillarious.
@@Toast-un2gd Funny how being incredibly salty doesn't get you any women, lmao.
@@Toast-un2gd Sheesh, talk about being maidenless. Ok, but I sincerely hope you get a healthier view on your fellow LGBT+ peeps. Infighting isn't cute and no girl will find your hostility cute either.
@@Toast-un2gd Jokes on you. She's not a man anymore. Have a good day tho
It feels really dishonest to pretend that people who are in relationships aren't attracted to any other persom besides their partner. If you're bi and you're in a relationship with someone of a certain gender, you're still also attracted to people of other genders. Nothing about being in a relationship erases that.
I must say you pretty much summed up and gave an excuse as to why the majority of people have prejudice against bisexuality. Most deep disapproval is rooted from the exact insecurity of being compared, and it’s not like someone of a certain gender could possibly compete with one of another; seeing that they all offer something different. It’s almost undeniable attraction will ever stop, sure, but I generally would think this would be the most reason as to why bisexuals are avoided most of the time in the dating pool. The deep insecurity and judgement, wanting to be the only one a bisexual person would be attracted to is just simply out of the ballpark due to the simple fact that they (bisexuals) are also attracted to someone you (theoretically a gay/straight person) will never be. In short, there’s really nothing wrong with bisexuality or the people themselves, most are genuinely just insecure.
Comparison in a society like this today is as inevitable as attraction, however, it can be said that to another of the same gender is a concept that is easier to understand and less on the turmoiled mind because of the similar qualities and professions than someone who maybe has faint similarities, and a whole different identity. This also can be dated back in ethnic lesbianism, and the ‘hatred’ of men. Comparing yourself to someone you’ll never be, and wondering why your preferred partner (in this case, a bisexual women) could ever be attracted to people of such opposite spectrums.
Yeah I agree. If you are heterosexual and enter into a relationship you are still attracted to men LMAO why is it any different than if you are attracted to women too? Just because you are attracted to WHATEVER groups before you were in your monogamous relationship doesn't mean you wont stay monogamous.
Exactly, I'm a lesbian and if I were in a relationship, that wouldn't make me less attracted to other women.
@@Alina_Schmidt being attracted to and being committed to are two different things. we do not have to act on impulse.
wow, you really helped me realize that I, as a bi person, have a lot of internalized biphobia about my attraction to men. Thank you!!! amazing work
it took me so long to unlearn weird gendered stereotypes. i was always into hyper-masculine men and later into hyper-feminine women. i asked myself why at one point and then realized that I was being weirdly stubborn about not admitting that other men and women who didn't fit my perfect mold were really cool. this was when I started to see my first lanky boy and was really into him. then later, I also realized... buff women are really hot oh wow.
your preferences can be expanded, love. go with what feels right.
@@kat9100 its more of like, me being afab ragging on myself and being generally ashamed of being attracted to men overall than me allowing myself attraction to one kind of man bc of fear that it erases my queerness, but I see where you're coming from 💗💗 god buff women are so hot tho you're so right
I never realized the hostility towards bisexuality until recently, its so weird, they're literally just chilling.
I AM a virgin, thank you for noticing! 😊
😢
Well being a virgin is not a bad thing i don't know why many people play it out to be
@@tentedkarma7465 right, just live your life, has as much or as little or as none sex as you like. The reality is that we play so much more importance into it than it deserves. Life has so so so many beautiful things to offer; sex is one of them but it doesn't have to be
@@tentedkarma7465 Honestly it's so confusing being a woman. People call you strange for being a virgin but then they praise you for not having sex before marriage?
Am I a loser for not having sex or am I smart??
Every One wants to fuck a virgin but when she's not a virgin anymore then she's unwanted
@@CyanidePusher there should be a law like until u r virgin government will take care of your bill and other stuff,my life would have been beautiful without work
I identified myself as a straight for so long until I had my first crush on a woman. I was a Biphobic Bisexual... I stupidly suspected that my attraction for that woman developed out of some intense curiosity and fascination I felt toward LGBTQ.... but I couldn't deny how real it all felt... but years passed by and I dismissed that memory as a "phase"... and I doubted every other bi woman I came into contact with, thinking they were claiming to be bi for male attention.... I got married to my husband and a few years later, met this woman and felt this intense attraction again! this confirmed what I needed to know and finally made me face my own bias....
I had weird issues with the concept of bisexuality when growing up which I thankfully don't hold onto. Largely it was a "I'm trans so obviously the only sort of person who could be attracted to me must be bisexual but surely all bisexual men will eventually want to be with a cis woman" kind of thing. Since then the world has changed and I have changed but that was an uncomfortable, misguided time for me.
Can you do a "Why we hate Bi Men", next?
Working on it now! =D
I thought everyone loved bi men.
@@Lost_Gemini I thought everyone loved bi women too until I came out as a bi woman 😂😂😂😂
Bi man are great tho
@@verilybitchie thankyou
@@Lost_Gemini i do think there's less of a general dislike of bi men than of bi women but they face all the stereotypes too and they usually get the stigma of 'you're just gay and half out of the closet' more often than bi women do, some people even believe that only girls can be bi cause 'if a man likes other men he must be gay'. just look at all bi men in the spotlight who everyone just says was/is gay (i feel like this is more common with dead bi men)
Hey, thank you very much for this video. I was really feeling down and guilty about my sexuality today, after watching some biphobic Tiktoks, so it was comforting to watch this video. It really made my day! Thanks again :)
💙💜💖!!!
i thought I was the only one
tik tok is quite toxic. it feels like i just re downloaded twitter or something ugh.
@@rageagainstthemicrowave1313 yeah plus a little bit bigoted reddit
Tiktok is such a cesspool of biphobia I had to delete for my mental health 🙃
Another issue in the LGBTQ community is that gatekeeping in relationship to bi people. The amount of bi men and women that are told that they aren't bi and are just straight people that are trying to appropriate the LGBTQ for personal reasons by the gay community just because they've mostly dated one gender is troubling to say the least, their sexuality is called into question and they're lambasted for simple being in a relationship.
Oh man, the whole "political lesbianism" thing drives me up the wall. On sort of the other side of that same coin, I kept beating myself up for being a "traitor to feminism" because I have an objectifying "male gaze" --- I thought that my attraction to women was inherently sexist. I still haven't quite gotten over that.
Defeating the Christianity-derived terror of sexual "gazes" contained in so many "secular" movements is an important step for many and I wish you success.
@@epoilcahow do you know that
@@simonritter570 you people just love Christian blaming . You probably think islam or judaism would accept you any better than christian societies do. Theyd burn you alive…
one thing I've noticed since being gay is generally more accepted than not (though, casual homophobia, and certain cases of physical/blatant homophobia definitely due exist still, I've experienced it) a lot of people find out you like the same gender, and try to be accepting of that, but once they find out you're bi it's another story. Like it's too confusing for them. It's hard for me to understand what's so confusing about it
I'm bisexual. I remember being confused because I thought I had to choose, then I gradually came to the conclusion that I didn't have to. Sure, I may be in more of a man mood for my next partner or a woman mood for my next partner at times, but...I like both. :) Boom.
Yeah they generally run on the "we accept them because they were born that way" point of view which doesn't work when bisexuals are included
I've experienced similar reactions when telling people I'm asexual. They can't possible fathom that people like me exist.
my bestie is bi and when this girl who acted like our friend found out she got pissed she was like being gay is ok but being bi isnt like just pick a side not exactly what she said but something like that
Straight person: I like ketchup on my sandwiches.
Biphobes: Makes sense.
Gay person: I like mayonnaise on my sandwiches.
Biphobes: Alright, sure thing.
Bi person: Yeah, I like both.
Biphobes: eXCUSE MeHW AT OKAAJFOWfjoefwufhow iiof hwifohiohiweihfo i owhiof hioewfihoih wheiodaisy daisy give me your answer *shuts down*
As a bisexual I only date other bisexuals. Then we can both understand and relate because biphobia sucks.
Yea same
Bi phobia exists even in our community. Even other bi women don't want to date other bi women for the same fear many lesbians and cis men don't want to date us. Everyone thinks we will want the opposite sex 😒 I'm glad you don't harbor that phobia.
Nah I prefer lesbains
Why? Isn’t that also biphobia?@@NeyamStar
@@jenniferparks5901 Y'all are with men so yeah I am with the lesbians on this
These days people on tik tok make fake senarios about bi women calling them the f slur
Tik tok was always filled with dumbass people
As a bi woman, I've been called called a "f*ggot" by gay men more times than I am by straight people
@@maffieduran well that's kinda how it works ain't it? people of a particular group will call people of that group names and slurs because they're more comfortable with it. it's reclamation, like black folk and the n word.
@@malum9478
exept for the most part there is no malice behind the word "nigga" when spoke by a black person to anothor black person, perhaps exasperation but not the real conotations of the word when spoken my non-black people. i canr speak for gay people, but given the context of the video im asuming there is more malice, and general abrasivmness to bi women when they're called a "f*ggot".
@@malum9478 yeah the n word is used by black people in a friendly sometimes loving way, they even call that to there non-black friends if they're comfortable. F***ot is just derogatory, never seen it being used in a good way.
As a bi woman, thank you for keeping humour in your videos while being hard-hitting.
Also, this is why when someone asks, "Describe your ideal partner," I reply, "Well, they have to smell good and be funny."
I'm bi but I'm also demisexual, so it is NOT about where I can get "better sex" for me. Lol. Even if I COULD get better sex from a woman, I'm still now pretty much only sexually attracted to my current long-term boyfriend. 🤷♀️ And I'm cool with that.
hell yeah, i love seeing more people who also identify as bi and demisexual! and omg your relationship with your boyfriend sounds awesome, ultimate goals
Yay! More of us!
if women were better at sex then every women will be with women
I'm bi and I can see myself being monogamous and staying with one person for the rest of my life.
What about this do people not get?? People saying we (bi’s) will always be attracted to others makes the stereotype worse IMO.
nothing wrong with polygamy, but as a monogamous bi lady I really hate people assuming shit. i can never see myself be emotionally involved with multiple people. i literally don't get how being bi is any different to being straight/gay just because you have a larger pool of people. honestly, even that's not true. i am the most awkward person and I am afraid to talk to women I find pretty. my pool of actual relationships have just been a short frustrating list of gamer boys and someone pls help me lmao
@@kat9100 Yeah, Bisexuals are out whooping it up with tons of dates, right? Closer to the truth is no one wants to date a bisexual. Straight people are afraid you'll leave them for the same gender and gays are afraid you'll leave them for the opposite gender so in the end it's harder for you to date. At least that's true for bisexuals looking for a monogamous relationship.
Mee too
Im bi and I think I could be happy in a polyamourous or monogamous relationship. What would that make me?
My partner thinks the creases on that flag make you down to earth and relatable. Whereas I think a pride flag is made even more glorious when it's well-ironed.
I just threw mine in the dryer with a damp towel on low heat and hung it up after. best of both worlds!
Wait, everybody else has flags?
Trans people never iron anything proven fact 👌
source: every single picture of a trans person in their room with a flag on the wall
@@blackriver2531 why is this so oddly specific? 🤣🤣🤣
Lol you must be a writer or poet because you have a way with words
when you said "conjure up an imagine of a woman bearing actively bisexual" i literally imagined a girl cuffing her jeans 😭
I imagined a scene in Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" music video lmao though that's less of because I think sapphics are having scandalous slumber parties and more of because it was the first LGBT(ish since she's not bi to my knowledge) song I found in my baby gay phase. I'm genderfluid and omni but it still works lol.
I see her doing finger guns (and also being Kristen Stewart)
I don’t understand how bisexuality defeats our view of “the one”, it just means “the one” could be anyone you are attracted to. It’s not like sexual attraction ever turned off with marriage.
It's kind of like saying: Well, if you are attracted to both blondes and brunettes, then clearly you are incapable of staying with only one person, as you will absolutely need to have both in your life!
Sure feels like romantic attraction evaporates all too easily. It sucks. Like... even the amicable friendship parts seem all too easily gone. Just from watching it happen it feels discouraging.
If political lesbians were *really* committed to ending The Patriarchy, I hardly think they'd use terms like ~boycotting~
I mean... leaving a masculine term attached to a negative process, is rather poetic justice. The patriarchy named everything after males, and while I don't think the etymology for boycott is related to masculinity, why not leave masculinity attached to things that are negative while ending the patriarchy?
@@lynn858 if you actively associate one gender with exclusively negative things doesn’t that create another imbalance?? abolishing patriarchy isn’t about usurping and undermining masculinity in favor of femininity, it’s about gender equity
There's no ethical consumption of men under the Patriarchy
@@luckas221a You're correct. But I'm saying "might do" not "would be ideal".
"Boycott" isn't related to "boy" as in "male child". It comes from somebody who was *named* Boycott
I've been bisexual all my life. I fall in love with the person, not the plumbing. If the person is not a good person, honest, etc I could care less if they are male or female. I'm 62 now and have suffered people telling me I'm inherently "unfaithful" but in all my years, I have never stepped out on a partner. This discrimination against bisexuality is others' insecurities. For me, it's who and what the person is, not their genomes, gender expression, or biological sex.
Have you changed partners. Like women,men, women back and forth?
the bishops (tm): "(bisexuality) inevitably involves being unfaithful"
polyamorous bi throuple: * exists *
the bishops (tm): wait that's illegal!
I mean it is illegal in most countries if you want to have some legal recognition. Ironically, there are countries where some arrangements may be permissible like Saudi Arabia or some African nations...
I agree with a lot of what you say. I'd like to add something. Woman are witheld to have sex with several partners. It has been prefered that she has had a small pool of lovers, or just one, or none. Whereas men are allowed and incentivated to have lots of sex with variety of women.
The other face of the coin is with wich genders you're allowed to have sex. Homosexual sex for women, and this usually is a problem for bi girls, is deemed as playful, a curiosity, 'every woman is bisexual', 'she's just having fun with her girlfriend', never taken as actually a real orientation.
Homosexual sex for men, on the other hand, is percived as a perversion, a deviation, a rotten mind with unacceptable thoughts. Across the world punishment for homosexual activities by men are more severe, including death sentences where, if it were a woman, would be years of prison. Bisexual men also experience a different array of problems here, maybe even the opposite 'he's gay, he's just pretending', 'it's just a phase., he's gay', 'you mingle with one man, once in your life, you're gay for a lifetime'.
What I'm trying to say is that woman weren't allowed to have many partners as much as men weren't allowed to explore with any other gender than cis women. This is true even today.
Thoughts?
Because women are seen as not as important as men, and therefore not as much of a threat to heteronormative culture. The perceived power of any sexual relationship is directly proportional to how many penises are involved in it. This is where the attitude that bi women are really het, but bi men are really just gay. This attitude comes from a toxic mix of misogyny and homophobia, because our culture seems women as less than men in all ways, and so love and sex between women doesn't really "count" as much " in the patriarchy, whereas, the same love and sex between men is seen as super threatening to the patriarchal power structure. It's another way of saying women don't count as much, because the penis has the power to turn any woman straight and any man gay! The all powerful "magic penis" theory of sexual orientation!
@@saransong5547 Hmm I dont know how to jump to that conclusion. Cultural norm seems to care if women have sex with several men. And it has nothing to do with how important women are perceived. In case of men, its their partners gender. Again I dont see the conection with how important they are percived. I disagree on that.
@@saransong5547 though I dont deny that men are in a lot of scenarios considered more important than women, you're absolutely right on that
@@rodribara but you basically just confirmed what they said. When women have sex with several men, they're perceived as sluts because now the men are made to compete against one another. When women have sex with men and women, the men don't view the women they have sex with as a threat to compete against because women are inherently less threatening. Women who sleep with other women on the side are not as threatening to a man's manhood and pride as women who sleep with other men.
@@MotherMonstersBaby Hmm, but Didn't we watch the same video? verilybitchie states that women where of no value if they weren't virgin till marrige.
You state that this is because it's threathening to manhood which is kinda hard to prove or disprove.
Here's another theory that I think fits the model better, tell me what you think.
Today if a woman gets pregnant and you can't pin point the father, you get a dna test and problem solved, you're the father or you're not.
In older times, if you got pregnant and you had two lovers. Well there really no real way to discern if that child is yours or not. Raising a child is a life-changing event, and there's and was a lot of money and effort on it.
As well-ment as a soul the father might have, he'd feel cheated out if he finds out years laters his child resembles the other lover this girl had. So, what happens to the girl? She may find herself rising a child on her own since she can't actually know for her life who the real father is. This is perjudicial to society, as the woman would have to work and the child would be rised with no supervision if the mother doesn't find a man willing to marry her with one child already.
Now, as a society with no certain way to discern who is the father, your only option is to prevent.
how do we prevent this? Well, if a woman is virgin, having an himmen intact untill marriage, this possibility of her already being fertilized is none (it's actually not, himmens can be still there after sex, or break before, but they didn't know that and it also was the best system they had).
Ettiquete in the past regarding dating for women inclueded 'being seen dating the man in public'. Church wanted men and women to 'wait until marriage' to solve this issue, specially woman and nor necessarely because they hated woman's sexuality. It was an ill attempt to prevent a young unwise-by-the-means-of-being-young woman to have a harsh life.
So, no, I don't agree that it is because men's sex is more threathening than womans. Cis woman can't get other cis woman pregnant, so the risk isn't the same. Nothing to do with pride, for what I can see.
Verily: "Conjure up an image in your head of a woman being 'actively bisexual' ...probably isn't a very monogamous image, is it?"
me, a bisexual: "but she was just trying to cuff her jeans without spilling her coffee"
me, catching on: "oh the question wasn't for us"
Being non monogamous is completely fine, obviously it’s only not ok if your partner thinks you’re monogamous. It’s also not like just because you’re with someone you can’t think other people are attractive.
"Let's all have a cuddle" instead of playing sports... yep, I love this channel.
I’m only a few minutes in but I already love this 😹
12:24 “The problem with bisexual women is that they are both sexual and moral traitors.” bitch YES thank you for making us sound so badass! 😂
Ok I have now finished the video (yes I watched all of it, I watch everyone at 1.5x!) and am now done editing my comment 😅 this was really well done! I went into this thinking “I can only assume they hate us cuz they ain’t us” and while I still believe that, I definitely feel like I learned something. Thank you!
💖💜💙💜💖!!!
Yes! "Sexual & moral traitor" IS freaking badass- & I mean, if the straight & LGBT communities are BOTH slagging us off, we ARE pretty badass!
Biphobia is based around ressentiment
Lmao 💀
I get really anxious because I am never valid enough. I've been with more guys than girls, but that was just how life turned out. I've been out for 6 years now, but I still hear from people in the comunity that I can't talk about basicly anything. I've dated women, experienced homofobia in a lot of levels including work, family, friends or just existing, but now I'm with a guy and that means I am silenced again. Do I have to have a folder with all my history to show that I can talk about shit?
Seems like I have to be a lesbian to be bi enough to speak. I don't expect much from the hetero crowd, but it's sad to know that I really confuse everyone to the point of having no place anywhere to talk about my experiences and thoughts. Sometimes I wish I was a cool lesbian, but I love my partner and could care less about gender. Still, it feels like I'm wrong? For being happy and in love, but with a men?
Why do society fuck us up like that tho, I just get so confused
PS: my partner is awesome and we have plans for cats, plants and a place of our own
I feel the exact same way it was so hard to come to terms with my sexuality it was almost like I didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man because I would be deemed as less valid for being in a hetero relationship and I feel like I’m never valid enough yk? thanks for this comment it’s really nice to be able to relate to someone
@@ClaraLuaVargasGuerra also I’m so happy for you and your partner that’s great!!
I came out of a really bad break up a while back and covid hit just as I was starting to get over it. I wanted to play the field and date some more women as I’ve mostly dated men, though I did have a girlfriend for a while. A friend of a friend, a cishet guy was really interested in me, and I fought it way longer than I should have because I was worried about not being gay enough. Glad I cut that shit out. He makes me so happy. :)
As a bi woman I cannot physically comprehend straightness
Sameee
ok
Being bi, its very hard to understand monosexuals. People say to us "pick a side" but how? It's like picking between cookies and cake. I don't know I like both. Sometimes I'm in the mood for cookies, other times I want cake. Sometimes want a cookie dough cake!
@@confoundedcoconut7500 In order to destroy biphobes, sandwich a piece of cake in between two cookies of different flavors and look them in the eye while eating it.
It's like being bi, but you don't like girls.
When i picture a bi women - I see a someone who is fabulous and wearing military boots, a giving all a saucy wink!
I'm a bi woman and I like building things, so...I got those construction boots, lol.
@@ErutaniaRose i just like big boots, and i cannot lie.
I am from the Granny Weatherwax school of loving boots myself "As boots, Granny Weatherwax could find nothing to complain of in them. They were of proper witch construction, which is to say that a loaded cart could have run over them without causing a dent in the dense leather. (Witches abroad)" and " they were good strong boots, with hobnails and crescent-shaped scads; you couldn't believe a cobbler had made them, someone had laid down a sole and built up from there. (Wyrd Sisters)".
as a lover of boots and winged eyeliner, i felt valid
Hot
Seriously, though, as a bi woman boots are fucking amazing
Verily Out Here accidentially/casually explaining Engels "Origins of the Family" in a few minutes. We Stan 😎
Bless u verily. My smooth brain is too dumb to parse the big boy books
and i'm watching a day after i had to write an essay on that lmao 😭
As an aromantic pan woman, the idea of "the one" is such a wild concept...
this bi aro agrees,, life-long monogamy is frankly confusing
Oh my god someone like me 🥺 lets be friends. Im aromantic pan too
@@sandraelsa671 oh wow that's always so cool to meet people like me 😃
@@zeeclirio2080 oh yess, its just recently i have figured myself out, till then i just thought i was pan (romantic and sexual)
@@sandraelsa671 saame !
Great video. Thanks for consistently being an advocate for the bisexual life experience, and its intersectionality, in such a thoughtful and humorous way with your videos past and present
Great video!!! I think youve finally organized all my bi confusion of why straights and gays act and think this way. But one thing I'd like to add is how the minute I say Im bisexual pples eyes instantly conjure me up like a porn category. Its gotten so bad sometimes where I literally have say to guys faces "no I don't want a threesome" bc of the obvious lusty sparkle in theor eyes.
And assume transgender pple also suffer from this (at higher rates) and as such I lay out a sympathetic hand. We shall fight to be seen as pple and not a s default porn category
THIS. I have actually participated in a threesome once, and while it was a decent experience for what it was, I discovered that it is also very intense (for me) adding a third energy in the bedroom and not something I can personally just do casually, or even necessarily have the desire to do again at this time. Biphobia I can mostly just ignore, but it bothers me deeply that we're fetishized and objectified, mostly by striaght men who wouldn't dream of letting another man into the bedroom, but expect their straight female partners to just be down for it.
@@PrincessWhatsername yeay thanks for replying also this is more of a problem for straight men
@@a.r.k7863 I agree, it's usually straight men I've had this experience with.
Your CAT🥰
Great video, I never thought about how so much biphobia is rooted in our society’s insistence on monogamy as the moral standard
Same! It was so education I never knew :(
I think i should talk to my bf about this. I am bisexual, and sometimes he is worried I would prefer a woman. I always reassure him, but I know he struggles with low self-esteem. I am happy with him, and I want a completely monogamous relationship with him.
Same boat, but I'm biromantic asexual (at least I think so).
I haven't properly discussed my biromanticism with him yet, we've only had brief talks about the possibility of me being bi. But he dated a bi girl before he dated me, and he's told me about how he was very insecure that she would prefer to date another girl (think we were 13/14 at the time though so not very dramatic). I'm concerned he'll feel insecure about me if I talk to him about me most likely being bi.
Can I ask you a question, if it's ok, about something I've been unsure about for a while? Are people who are insecure inherently toxic for their insecurity? Like if you have a point of reference, is your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend if you aren't together anymore) a worse person than any partners you may have had who weren't as insecure (if you can tell, I know some people can't)? Sorry to ask such a long question, please feel free to ignore, I was just looking for the opinion of someone with more experience than me on this (> 0), thank you, have a nice day.
Bisexuals do love men
I remember back in 2010 when my first girlfriend said she thought bisexuals were just sleeping around, but straights and gays were capable of feeling genuine love for their partners. At the time, I was a homophobic Young Earth Creationist Christian (I stopped being those things by the end of that year), and even I could see that bisexuals were no less capable of wanting and having monogamous, loving relationships.
I've always hated the "you will just end up with a man" narrative that I got from lesbians. Yeah, if no women will date me that I guess I will have to right?
Turns out I'm nonbinary and I very much enjoy nonbinary folks as partners, so jokes' on everyone I guess.
LOL
identify lesbi@n and you can get those lesbians
Your channel is the first bisexual "safe space" I've come across in my short bisexual experience, and its made me feel seen and welcome every time. This video answers so many questions I've had about the way people perceive me, ever since I came out to my mom when I was 13, only to see her look of confusion as she asked me whether I was actually sure about what I was saying, or if maybe it would pass (we're cool now). Thank you so much for what you do!
I’m bi, and I’m completely happy in my monogamous relationship with my lovely trans gf. I’ve never cheated on anybody, or left someone for somebody of the opposite gender. But it did take me longer than most people to find and have meaningful relationships with both genders. All the girls I’ve ever been with only wanted to experiment or have a fling, and for the most part I wasn’t that into guys or the guys I was into didn’t reciprocate those feelings. But now I’m in a very happy and healthy long term relationship and I couldn’t imagine being with somebody else.
I never believed we have one true love, even before I knew I was bi. It never made sense to me. I understand the concept is that even if the person moves to another country/continent (or whatever happens in your life) your "one true love" will always find you. There are too many variables for it to work. What I always believed in was the fact that we (can) have way more than one person we are compatible with and could live our entire life with. Someone might only meet one of them while another might come across/ date a few of them.
There are 7+ billion people and we are each supposed to have 6 (or 7, I'm not sure) lookalikes; but we would only have one "true love"? So few people would be lucky enough to meet theirs, if that were to be true. I know being atheist can make it easier to not believe in having our "one true love".
Sorry for the longer comment. Don't forget to hydrate people and don't drink that 5th or 6th cup of coffee of the day! It tastes amazing but it's not worth it - yes, I don't like my own advice but health wise it's not an awful advice, not at all.
Thank you for all of this comment!
I don't believe in religion, but I think of "the one" as a statistical likelihood that with so many people in the world, chances are there is at least one person that's perfect for you, assuming you aren't the problem, which is the case for a lot of people.
When I saw the title I had this look "🥺". I'm a bisexual woman. I'm not dating, but geez I love both. I hate when people think us bisexuals are slutty is silly. I have cats and love then. 🥰
As a bi women I am so so happy about all the videos you make about bisexuality. Thank you and I hope you'll continue for a long long time! 😊🌼
I realized I was Bi in college after years of thinking I was only attracted to boys/guys. It hit me like a brick the first time I found myself sexually attracted to one of my female teachers. It’s never been something I have regretted though even if actual relationships have been few and far between.
The Bisexual Search for the OTP is actually the plot of Chasing Amy. Well, the plot is about how a guy screws up his chance to be her OTP because he becomes caught up with her sexual history. I haven't seen it in years, so I don't know of any other problematic aspects of it, but I never understood why people never talked about that.
honestly im so tired of this shit and gate keeping in the lgbt community im biromantic and asexual and ive been ridiculed by lesbians and gay people saying stop making up sexualities its sad to see a community that fought for equal right being disciminitory :T
I don't mean to have this sound rude but how are you both asexual and bisexual at the same time Don't these sexualities cancel each other out? Is this sort of like demisexuality where it's linked to romanticism? ( Like you have the ability to be attracted to both sexes but you feel attraction when you get closer to a person or?)
@@tainii-san5879 i think that they were saying that they are biromantic and asexual since they didn't add the suffix 'sexual' after 'bi'
@@Avi-nt8mc yeah,I assumed that they meant it in a romantic way.
@@tainii-san5879 the word "bisexual" doesn't necessarily fixate on sex... it refers to attraction as a whole. someone can definitely be asexual and bisexual; the understanding is that they are romantically attracted to all genders but sexually attracted to none.
@@p0lyxena
*2 or more genders
Pan is all. Hope that makes sense :)
I was already seriously dating a guy when I realized that I was bi. It was tough to get over the internalized biphobia since I had never had any experiences with a woman, but then I got over that because while yeah it’s sad in theory that I’m with a man and now won’t experience a relationship with a woman, I really just care about close bonds and trust in a relationship (I’m quite monogamous), and I have that with a guy that I love and I wanna be with him forever, so I don’t need to feel like I’m not a “real” bi for being content in a relationship with a guy without also trying for the other team. :)
So you're straght
@@wkdgrneyes No. My type is this one singular kind of man, and then most women and nb people. I just happened to get with this guy… and we’ll see if either of us get any other partners cause we’re both bi/pan and stances change in three years. And I’m also non-binary so there’s kinda no such thing as straight with me?
So what I’m saying is that all of my relationships are queer so you can kindly fuck right off 🙂
@@wkdgrneyes no. I’m nonbinary. There isn’t any “straight” with me. Also i like this one man, and then most women & nb people. Go bother someone else u know nothing about 🙂
And spell better next time😂
Me being a bi woman, never thought of bisexuality being ...noticed at all? Sure i saw many other people identifying as bisexuals but i never thought there was any problem to other people with it? Like we're so common that we dont exist kinda? Perhaps thats the community im surrounded by but this was very informative thank you
My own freaking mother accused me of being attracted to her when I came out as bi. I had to explain that I'm bi, not incestuous. And I bet she still wonders why we haven't spoken in over 20 years...
As a compulsively monogamous person I hate being asked how can a man/woman ever date me if I am going to cheat on him/her. I am very confused.
11:33 "It sure as hell isn't called the daughter" made me actually laugh out loud.
me too! such a good joke
As a bi woman, I’m very thankful and appreciative of how open minded and accepting my boyfriend is. He’s always been just an all around kindhearted and sweet person, so it really would have broken my heart if he had trust issues or any other inhibitions towards me just for being bi. The most he comments on my sexuality is when we discuss fictional characters we find attractive, us both regularly gushing over Jill Valentine to each other haha
As a bi woman I didn't even know I needed this content so much. Thank you and you've gotten a new sub!
I'm tired of seeing hate in our own community!
I'm a bisexual woman (with a greater desire for women but it's not that big of a preference) in a relationship with a bisexual man with a large preference for men
Once, a guy, not knowing we both were bi, talked to us about how bisexuals can never fit in a monogamous relationship because they couldn't keep it in their pants (basically)
We've been together for (almost 🥰) 3 years with my boyfriend can you just imagine the laugh we've had lmao
Tbh we were laughing because we were together, he wouldn't have been there with me, I would have been fucking pissed of more than amused 😒
Isn't it interesting how much of this, the concept of monogamy and straightness, can sometimes be directly linked to class power, interest and war?
watching your content makes me feel so much better and I have context for where I can feel included. much love!
👀
I'm a lesbian and my beloved girlfriend is bi. We've been together for like... god...like 7 years? She is monogamous as hell, even more than I am. People have such a hard time wrapping their head around the simple concept of being bi that she's like "I should just rebrand as a lesbian"
Well, I mean not going to lie. Seeing all these lesbian turn bi makes me believe that lesbians aren't a thing.
Besides you got lucky, bi women never go for us. They go for loud abonoxious men
@@justaturky2890huh? That's just not true lmao
@@fluffyfish2607 it is though.
@@justaturky2890 how's it true?
I have always hated the idea that bi folks can't be monogamous, along with the assumption that being bisexual means that we're automatically down for threesomes/orgies. I am a bisexual woman who has been in a monogamous relationship with a man for about 3.5 years now, and he is hands down my person that I want to do life with. Does it mean that I'm not attracted to women anymore...not really, because my partner and I still check out hot ladies together, but cheating is also something neither of us are worried about in our relationship.
Also, there's so much more to being in a relationship than just sex (not to downplay it's importance)...my partner is my very best friend, and while I could have found a best friend and lover in a woman also, I ended up with a sexy man, and I just don't understand why the concept is so hard for people to grasp outside of puritanical values and flat out insecurity. You love who you love.
I always come away from your videos feeling so seen lol!! As a feminine bi person I’ve encountered a lot of I guess casual biphobia, mostly online. Attraction to men in lgbt+ spaces is often stigmatised and I’ve often felt like I have to downplay that aspect of my sexuality, even if it is just as important to me as my attraction to women.
It's interesting to note that most (>90%) bi people on dating sites/apps only ever look at the profiles of one or the other gender. They effectively behave as gay or straight, and really do seem to pick a side after a fashion, which should allay most of these irrational fears. It's a good reminder that just because an attraction to both genders exists doesn't mean it's equally strong, and that the process of being attracted to and of courting different genders can be quite different.
On the other hand, it's telling that even if most bi people do pretty quickly settle on one gender, that we consider it important that we be labelled as bi. We label our internal experience of the world and place great meaning on it, and this internal experience will always be different from the external reality that others can see. And this mismatch makes people deeply uncomfortable.
This sounds interesting, do you know where this data came from?
@@fizzaqureshi the OKCupid blog. They used to release a ton of really cool analytics about the people using their site. It's actually an amazing scientific resource due to the immense sample size.
This is true. A lot of people deny one's bisexuality if you have only ever dated one gender or the other. I have personally only dated men, but to say that I haven't had INTENSE crushes on women would be a lie, and I've had enough sexual experiences with women while single to know that I would have dated a woman had the right one come along. It just so happens that I've had better luck with men, and my current boyfriend of almost 4 years is my very best friend who fulfills me in all the ways I need to be happy in a monogamous relationship. At this point I don't really even tell people I'm bi unless asked or talking about the topic in general. I've come to the conclusion that since I'm in a stable relationship and happy, it doesn't even really need to be anyone's business.
i would leave anyone who disrespects my deep love for my cats. my little boi louis is more important than any human being could ever be
Hear hear! I mean, I'm typing with my left hand cos my boy's using the other one as a pillow, so obviously I can't move it :D
This is the most well-researched and carefully done video I've seen on this subject. Thank you so much for making it
For the first 2 minutes of this video, because I'm so exhausted as well as stupid and gullible, I couldn't figure out if I should be laughing or offended as I'm a bisexual woman as well, but then I realized it was satirical and clicked the subscribe button. Yay.
verily, you have uncovered so many biases that i internalised without realising, i will forever be grateful for your channel and the content you create
"It sure isn't called the daughter."
I lost it 😆😂
I know a bi woman. She's nice.
🙋🏻♀️Super bi and super monogamous.
Thanks for this. 💕
Super bi and super monogomous too
man your videos have been so insightful, for a while, I just didn't focus on my bisexuality for the longest time until a friend and I had a conversation about being bisexual. I never realised how often people push away my bisexuality/completly ignore my and many others existence in the lgbtq+ community and beyond. I was so convinced that my lesbian friends would understand my struggles only to minimize it as basically "are you sure?" or "well if haven't dated a woman how would you even know?" finding your videos has been an eye opener and really validate how I feel as a bisexual woman. love your videos!!! keep doing you babes :)
I'm a bi woman and I'm partially in the closet (haven't told my parents) because of all the stigma against bi people. My mom says she gets how you can be gay or straight but not bi, because that means you're indecisive, you have to pick a team. My sister recently came out to my dad as bi and he told her he supported her, but that she should pick the "normal" stuff if she could. I'm open about it with the rest of the world, but I have encountered a couple of guys that tell me something like "Oh, so we could have a threesome". Ugh, I'm so sick of that.
The only issue I have with bi phobia now is that there are people out there that believe that bisexuality is not trans inclusive. Bisexuality is *very much* trans inclusive. When you're bi you are generally attracted to both male and female....like the whole package like every bit of the male and every bit of the female in a sexual way...or non-sexual way, for aces out there. So even if the person was non-binary or even intersex, a bisexual would *still* be sexually attracted to that person because we are attracted to all the sex organs a human can possibly have, to varying degrees. And this part is where some people are gonna get tight but I never understood why pansexuality exists when bisexuality *IS fluid* and bisexuality being fluid can apply to people who r non-binary, trans, or intersex...in many instances they can say they are bisexual and attracted to mostly men, or mostly female, or evenly to both sexes, etc.
a lot of ppl aren't ready for this conversation... but pansexuality was born out of a misunderstanding of bisexuality and trans people, and now just by existing it perpetuates harmful biphobic and transphobic stereotypes, because otherwise people can't figure out why there are two identical sexual orientations. i can't count how many times ppl have had the audacity to correct me about my own identity because i emphasize that i'm a bisexual who loves all genders/regardless of gender, doesn't have a preference, etc. and the definition about "caring about personality and not gender" is just plain hurtful for literally everyone.
i wish ppl would let bisexuality be vague and all-encompassing and something that's individual and personal to each bisexual!!!!
@@p0lyxena I couldn't have said it better, very well explained
@@p0lyxena Yes this is exactly how I feel as a bisexual and when I speak to other bisexuals and trans bisexuals this is how they feel as well. *And then* there's this other aspect of sexuality that has me confused as to why pansexuality exists for ppl who r trans or non binary because there's always that possibility that a trans male or trans female would still be only attracted to cis males or cis females...at that point wouldn't it just be considered lesbian if a trans female *only* liked females...or gay if a trans male *only* liked males? This is assuming we all believe the idea that trans ppl *are women* or *are men* which I personally believe wholeheartedly regardless of the gender u were born with because once you've fully transitioned *u are that gender*
the bi-hating, man-hating, cat-hating ex girlfriend is giving me PTSD flashbacks
I've been out as a bi/fluid woman for over 20 years now... and I've learned so much about bi history from just a few minutes of these videos. Meticulously well-researched and funny as fuck. You've earned yourself a new subscriber. _chef's kiss_ muwah!
Excellent video! There are some amazing points in here for sure. As a lesbian woman, I definitely think insecurity is probably one of the biggest sources of biphobia in the lesbian community. Since I was young, I was told by my parents, peers, society, and of course straight men that my attractions to women were just a phase. Or that I just hadn’t found the right guy yet. Or that I had just had bad experiences with men in the past. Or that my attractions were “unnatural” or “abnormal”, “sinful”, and “disgusting”. Or that I just needed a good dickin’, because the male phallus is magic. Or that it is was my natural duty and obligation as a woman to serve a man’s desires. Or that, as a woman, I could never offer a woman the same things that a man could. I even knew a bi girl back in college who used to say sex with a woman felt like foreplay and that without PIV penetration it wasn’t real sex.
All these things create a flurry of feelings including anger, lacking, and a really severe insecurity. And then enter bisexual women who can experience attraction to both men and women. But everything society has told us says that the bisexual woman will always choose a man in the end because men are “just better” than women. And unfortunately quite a few lesbians still believe this stupid narrative society is selling, and as a result get this false feeling that bisexual women will always leave us for men. There’s a weird double standard. If a lesbian dates a fellow lesbian woman and she cheats, it’s perceived as just cheating. But if a bisexual woman cheats on a lesbian with a man, suddenly it becomes a confirmation of the things she’s been told. It’s not correct or fair, and it causes real harm to bisexual women. Unfortunately bisexual women bear much of the brunt of the shitty, homophobic things society says.
I'm so sorry so much rubbish stuff has happened to you (man, that bi woman saying about PIV, homophobic and transphobic, vommmmm). I think your comment highlights my discomfort with some of the comments on how their straight male partners are so much nicer than those mean nasty lesbians. I've experienced some biphobia from one lesbian that hurt and nothing at all from others I've dated. I can understand though, the biphobia in the context of homophobia and lesbophobia in particular. I think bis gotta put our big people pants on and understand that too instead of what honestly can just sound like tone deaf whining.
I didn't picture in my mind a bisexual woman in a non monogamous way. I just pictured a woman with a particular look, classy, sexy something like that. I guess it's a los biased in a way but aren't we all? But it's important to be aware of that.
I read an article about the history of queerness and psychiatry where being a lesbian was quoted as having been compared to being left handed by doctors in the 70s. It made me wonder how people had trouble understanding bisexuality when there are people out there who are ambidextrous. I checked the numbers and apparently being either right or left handed is way more common than being ambidextrous, and most people who are ambidextrous reported having trained themselves to use their right hand to avoid social stigma or have better access to technology. So it started to make sense how people failed to extend the analogy.
SO INFORMED ♡ and im here for it!
I'm a virgin (and ace). Do I get a cookie?
Oh thank god! All my other subscribers are gonna be stoned to death, at least I'll have you still!
@@verilybitchie Lol you'll have at least 2 subscribers left then! Ace virgins unite! :)
(Actually though let's just get rid of the word 'virgin' altogether. It's a stupid word that sucks. If we just didn't have that word, maybe we could get rid of a bunch of purity culture and virgin-shaming.)
@@ryn2844 Yeah, I think there are problems with the whole concept of virginity- obviously it's totally heteronormative & only about penetrative sex, & it kinda does mean something in that specific sense, but there are soooooo many scenarios that don't fit, & it's a overly simple binary- & why is it so damn important, or anyone else's business? Consenting adults in private can have whatever kind of sex they want, or none whatsoever, & they don't have to tell the world, or justify it- I'm so over all the blaming & shaming too! Virgin-shaming or slut-shaming: you can't win.
@@beth7935 exactly
@@ryn2844 You are absolutely right!!!
Twice when I've told people I'm bi, because I have a long term partner, they ask me what the point of calling myself bi is. Like if I was REALLY bi I should be dating and screwing different people all the time to prove it or something? People are so weird about it.
I hate that the mean satire character is just...completely believable...fantastic video!
SO happy whenever you upload!! Looking forward to the next 💖💜💙
Very good! I have been married to a bi women for more than 30 years now. I find that her being bi gives our relationship an adorable energy.