It has always been baffling to me that a lot of gay people believe bisexuality is a choice, but homosexuality isn’t. Sexuality is so intricate and complex. Some people want to simplify it but know in their mind and heart that they have feelings too that they can’t control or understand. Some act on them and some don’t.
Slimtee2 It makes absolutely no difference whether your straight, bi or gay. It's all in what you're attracted to. I don't think we have much control over that. Just be honest with your partners.
@@zaasfromparis And I definitely have… living in California and New York since the 80s., I have encountered A lot of gay people who have had that mindset. Things may be changing now, but if you identified as bi back in the day, like straight people, gay people rejected the concept of bisexuality. You are either gay or straight. The discussion can go on and on, but there were a lot of debates about bisexuality in the LGBTQ community over the years.
It’s mainly because a lot of gay men say they are bi while they actually gay. It’s not that common nowadays maybe but 10 years ago it was kinda popular. It made them feel safer and more straight in less open and catholic societies.
As a bi guy myself, I tend to lean more towards men. I guess because I like how some men look, the way they dress, the way they become protective, and the physicality between myself and a man. Sometimes I like being in a big man’s arms, holding me, feeling safe and secure. I too find beauty in women as well. I like the warmth and the nurturing of a woman. I like the scent of a woman. I just find beauty in both men and women. Btw, I’ve been with my guy for almost 10 years.
It's funny tho.. that part of not knowing what you like about men also creates confusion in males, and insecurities.... I'm hetero and am listening to gay guys saying what they like about men so I can get some information.
As a gay man, I have often wondered if bi men have a few more challenges. I wonder if women shy away from bi men, worried that they are more prone to cheat or have stis or hiv. I also wonder if gay men more often accuse them of being in denial. I agree with the Kinsey scale that says most humans are bisexual to some degree. Even I have had the occasional attractions to women.
I'm gay and I have some bi friends, from what I understood the difficulty is to find what side you will go. When you are gay or straight, you don't have particularly a choice to make. But being bi seems difficult in that aspect. Once you spend more time with gay men, you will may have difficulties to go with women after. The lgbt world and straight world are quite closed and there are few interactions in between.
I read a lot women dislike to be with a bi guy, they think they are gonna leave them for another men. And some women think they are less masculine because they already hookup with other men.
I could not be with my bi ex. To think he could go off in the night and have sex in a gay sauna and could infect me. No thanks. Finished before it began
Interesting and rather lovely. I am a gay man who has had a fbuddy relationship with a bi man for 13 years, including during his ten-year marriage (we are both single at the moment). However, recently we realised we have two separate relationships with each other. He comes to dinner and we chat and are affectionate (platonically and verbally, cuddle if we are sad kind of thing) and discuss everything from how badly run is an organisation we both have connections to and how nothing in it really changes over time (I am 63, he is 39), to how our relationships are going (mine with my lesbian-couple son, him with girlfriends and family). He also comes over for the same reasons we met all those years ago, and we DON'T really talk at all (except, as he put it, to express immediate wishes and appreciation🤣). The main point of this comment though is that recently during one of the "dinner" visits I specifically asked him what he found attractive about women and men, separately, because I never had before. His answer for women was highly specific physically and politically: apart from the physical things, (which I won't describe) he likes leftist, nerdy, gamer type women. Then I asked him about men. His answer was much more broad: he likes men only after getting to know them; he is attracted to personalities. It is only once he likes someone that any physical stuff comes into his feelings, and then what he likes tends to be the kind of bloke you would meet at a pub: ordinary, unassuming, dad-bod, easy to relate to. It really doesn't matter what they look like. I don't really know how the dynamics you have described work out in our situation, except maybe the protector thing, (I am older and wiser, but he is bigger), mentor(?). It is possibly the very difference and variety you describe - I am no young, nerdy, lefty activist woman, let me tell you, so maybe I fulfil the need tor courteous, older, conservative, steady, knows-what-he-wants-out-of-life types. My attraction to him is easy: he is extremely empathic, kind and giving, and he is frankly stunningly gorgeous (shallow gay man alert!) with a very slight bad-boy roughness. Why he was attracted to an older, worn-out dad-bod always eluded me, but now I know! Thanks, your insights were fascinating.
i do agree when men get close and drop their gaurd its heavenly. when i mean drop their gaurd let the normative way that men interact with eachother drop and when we allow ourselfs to get close to eachother the way we like it to regardless of what society expects from us.
RUclips just recommended this video. I’m glad it did! I am a gay man and I enjoyed hearing what you like about men. I like a lot of the same things. May I also compliment you on your overall presentation? You are a fascinating individual and it is refreshing to observe your candor, you are very well reasoned and you express your thoughts with such perfect clarity. Bravo! All my best to you…
First of all, thank you for having this conversation. It's super important and we should all talk about the nuances and particularities of human beings and their sexuality. My problem with bisexuality is that of all the bisexual men I've met in my life, they were all "traumatized" by women and they all said they had difficulty finding a serious woman for a stable relationship. However, with me they wanted sex and not a stable relationship, even though I was difficult and showed resistance, just like woman. What is happening here is that bisexuality ends up being an escape to mask the man's frustration at not being able to find a woman. However, in between, these men are with men sexually. It is not love! It's sex! Of all the bisexuals I met, they all said they couldn't have romantic relationships with men. So are they bisexual??!?!?!??? There are many nuances that could be discussed here, such as the impositions of society, culture and the fear they have of clashing with all of this. Because many of these things are registered and trapped in our conditioned minds. I understand why homosexuals don't believe in and make fun of bisexuality. Heterosexual women do the same thing. The impression it gives is that bisexual men and women cannot be trusted and that there is only confusion in their heads. People need true love, especially homossexual men (because of the prejudice, violence and stigma) and the majority of bissexual men have women in their heads and in their dreams! From what I saw and went through, this is my experience. I've probably never met a serious bisexual or someone who wasn't just starting to experiment with their sexuality with other men...
Yes they are bisexual if they can’t have romantic attraction to men and I’m sorry you have only met bi guys who have been traumatised by women. This has nothing to do with bisexuality. Sending love.
This is the comment I was looking for! This is 1000% the experience many gay people have with Bi men. We are good enough to hookup/experiment with, but never be dateable.
I'm so glad that you mentioned how you love a man because of admiration and because you think to yourself "You represent that which I myself wish I would become." I feel like that all the time.
As a woman who loves women o def understand that part about liking and admiring certain traits in the same sex. It was always hard to explain.. Glad to know I'm not alone in that kind of thinking.
woah! first of all mark, thank you, like really; i think you are the first dude i see expressing out loud, 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 what i'm going through in my daily life. Thank you specially because of the representation from this side of the spectrum. Greetings from Barcelona.
Hey thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to express that. I’m doing more videos like this so stay tuned. It seems there really isn’t enough of this out there so I’m delighted to share.
Thanks for making this video and sharing Mark! I love hearing the perspectives of my fellow bisexuals! As a cisgender, bisexual woman myself, I am attracted to men, women and non-binary individuals. I'm really able to be attracted to all genders but those are the three main groups for me personally. As far as what I like about men, I have to say that I also enjoy the male form, particularly abs and pecs. So lovely to look at and feel. Not to overshare, of course. Lol! I also love when men have pretty eyes and nice hair, especially long hair. I find that very attractive. Also, a pretty smile is nice as well. I like men that aren't too muscular, like average build or skinny. I'm not into really big guys at all. I personally don't find that attractive. I'm not really into body hair or facial hair either but it depends. If it's not much, I don't mind it. I do agree that beautifully groomed men are extremely attractive. I love when you can simply just look at a man and be able to tell that he cares about taking care of himself. That's important. As far as the types of men that I like, I enjoy men that would be considered "golden retriever types", blondish hair (usually wavy or curly), average build, pretty, bright eyes and smile, sweet personality, huggable. Lol! I also am really attracted to alternative types like emo or goth individuals. Mainly because I really appreciate when people are able to break norms without being afraid or even if they are afraid, they're strong enough to push through that and show the world who they truly are through expression that's true to themselves, no matter what others think. That's very attractive to me, personally. Even better if they have musical or artistic talent as I have that myself and it's something we could bond or connect over. I find that's actually something common within the alternative community, which definitely makes them more attractive to me beyond appearance, of course. It also works for me because I find people who break gender roles very attractive and lots of people in the alternative community are known for doing that. Men in the alternative community will sometimes grow their hair out long, paint their nails, wear eyeliner/eyeshadow and sometimes even wear clothes that aren't traditionally masculine. I just love when people challenge norms, especially men because so much is pushed onto them by society. Society tells men they must behave and present in a certain way or else they aren't "real" men. So, when men are able to break through that and do what they feel like doing to be authentic to themselves, that's attractive. I enjoy men that are willing to be submissive to a woman, lots of them are not, which is fine but it's what I prefer personally. I just love when men understand that they can be submissive to a woman without losing their "manhood" or masculinity. I also really enjoy when a man understands that they can also be protective of a woman, yet submissive to a woman at the same time. Just because I'm attracted to submissive men, that doesn't mean I don't love when they step up to protect me. That actually means a lot to me because it shows me they care deeply about me. That's important. Lastly, I totally agree with you about simply loving men because you are one. I'm the same way when it comes to women. There's this deep connection that's already there between you and someone else of the same gender and that really helps in relationships whether they be sexual, romantic or both. (Also, firefighters and doctors! YES! 😂)
I agree with all these points. I'm vers and have a wide attraction when it comes to men, from feminine/flamboyant to masculine, twink to bear, etc. But I do like looking mostly at muscular men. I like suits but also minimal clothing too, I grew up staring at a lot of male underwear models before watching all the gay stuff. I like the roughness and the dominance, but also don't mind being sensual and passionate too. Something about men just feel so freeing and it feels so safe. Being able to support each other through the roughness of life. Men are just so insanely attractive. It doesn't have to be gay relationships either, I do really like to support my straight male friends as well, just without the sexual parts. Something about connecting with fellow men feels great.
I've somewhat given up trying to be in a relationship. I tried once but i know it won't work from the start and it turns out i was right. Now I'm just focusing on trying to love myself Bi-myself.😅 Watching this though made me feel a little bit less lonely. 😊
Hey that’s so great of you. Check out this video which should explain more. ruclips.net/video/73H13zOSfVw/видео.html also check out my bi allies video on my channel.
OMG YES, Bi GUYS IS WERE ITS AT. Cuz listen im gay an i may like to top my man somtimes. BUT ONCE we out the bedroom your still my more masculine counterpart Love the dynamic 😊😂
Same here. I used to date girls, but just for a mental need like a soul mate relationship. Also, I like girls because I respect them so deep in my heart. As to guys, we have a lot in common, physical plus mental. Most of the things you say in this video relate to me, such as admiration, easy to get along. Thanks for the honesty you present in here, hope you find a way to get through your life journey with fantastic people you will meet and live with. Cheers!
I am a bi man, although I have only told a very select people in my life. I have wanted to come out at times, but most of the time, I am perfectly content where I am with it. I have always wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with another man though, and that is probably my only regret of not coming out.
I think you share that same common attraction with other gay/bi- men when it comes to "men in uniform". Its that sense of strength, power, authority, courage, confidence and protection every gay/bi-/women want in their partners.
From my experience as a gay man, I've often met bi guys and I'd "draw" them into two main "groups" * about their attraction and interaction with men. * (for lack of better words) : One is, like you described, being what I'd call maybe clumsily, as more heteronormative. Because they tend to stick to specific "roles" and assimilate certain practices and behaviors to certain roles. And endorse a certain role depending on the other guy, a "fixed" role. The other being more "brotherhoodly" when with men, completely stripped of any roles. And usually loving this specificity of brotherly relationship when with men. Like it's for them a liberation from common social norms and roles they can only find with men. A very egalitarian, very brotherly relationship stripped of any preconceived social norms. From my experience, I've found bi men to be more specifically of one group or the other, whereas I've found gay men to be evenly spread like more shades on a spectrum, less clearly defined. But that's just my experience which was probably shaped by my own tastes and looks. As for myself, I'm what you could call an extreme versatile egalitarian. I like certain uniforms but I despise authority, so it reduces the panel a bit. Versatile as much in action as in roles, like being a dominant bottom, a submissive top, an equal "everything" : a brotherly play partner, no norms and surely no hetetonormative ones. That's my thing, the "we're all in on this together, we're equal and we'll give everything to each other". That's also something I've found a tad more prevalent in the harder scene (like "manual works" or "deep explorations" ;-) ), than on the more vanilla mainstream one, but not exclusively. To be fair, I'd be even a bit frustrated by a partner that would take a role and keep it. As if the only rule should be "we're men playing". Or for variation from the "egalitarian" model, I'd go for the exact opposite of what's expected by the usual social norms. Some would say that I'm contrarian in nature, but I'd say I just like to broaden the horizon, and experience the full gamut, as I find fixed roles to be way to restrictive and narrow. I guess I'm a human gay bonobo in some way. 😂 I just love men entirely, and the freedom of being everything all at once. I think otherness is more valued when all norms and roles are dropped or are completely interchangeable. I just discovered the channel and subscribed!
as a bi guy with more male preference... im actually terrified of being with another bi man because i feel like he'd leave me for a woman, and is just using our romantic and sexual bond as a placeholder until he gets his life together. i've seen it happen so many times from situations i've known in real life. i've also had a female friend who's bi man was cheating on her sneaking out on weekends to get d!ck he ended up giving her an infection after having lots of unsafe sex with god knows how many people. a lot of bi men dont view their boyfriends as a permanent/long term addition to their life, or have any intention of keeping them as a partner, just leaving when they feel like they want to pop out a family or when they get bored of boys or whatever. and some do the same to their girlfriend, taking advantage of women's caring nature or getting a baby out of her while having a boy on the side. i hate to agree with the stereotypes but it is definitely a problem and valid concern to have.
@@dmmoctober yes that's exactly my point. But also I do note, anyone of any race/background/upbringing/sexuality/personality/etc. can be a cheater. if you unknowingly ended up with someone who's a disloyal person, they're gonna be a disloyal person, bisexuality regardless. I'm just saying a bi guy has the potential to open even more doors and the real-life experiences I've had leave a bad taste in my mouth.
But that has less to do with being bisexual and more to do with their character… and kinda just men in general. Men just aren’t raised to be as thoughtful as they should be… the norm is to be more individualistic and focus on their own needs.
@@gamer1X12 Yet somehow, after 11 days, I feel like you’re still “terrified” of being with a bi man… You’re still implying that bi men cheat more if you won’t date them because you think they’ll cheat. You can say one thing and think another
I consider myself bissexual and this explanation matches tô some extent, for exemple,tô have a sexual relationship with men is much easier than with women. But my problem is that I’m not a great fan of penis, but as you said this admiration is sometimes a kind of jelousy, which is very crazy. Good to have someone like you to share these feelings! Congrats for you!
I really loved the part where you mentioned you are attracted to men that you desire to look like, that rang so deeply within me. Ive always had more of a boyish and soft look even at 36 years of age. But ive always been more attracted to rugged more masculine men particularly Caucasian men. I just love that contrast and different types of glowing.
Thank you Mark another great video. I feel I’m a bit unusual as a gay man as I quite enjoy a younger guy being in control being a little assertive with me but I am not a slave or very submissive, I do not enjoy guys being dominant - bullying - aggressive. I much prefer guys to be kind romantic, have a caring side even if he’s dressed for me in a leather jacket or camouflage gear or sports kit or a business suit or my favourite - a shirt and tie under a set of motorcycle leathers. I don’t feel very comfortable or confident taking the dominant role. I find it interesting /curious that most younger guys want older guys like me to be dominant - in control. I am much happier knowing that the other guy is slightly more assertive or we are equals rather than master slave or Dom Sub. Keep up the good work, finding your videos, provoking and stimulating.
So I'm pretty sure I'm bi myself, and I could relate with a lot of what you said especially the kind of dichotomy between the two types of guys! I think for me though I don't really have much attraction to the male form, so it's kind of like that I would be attracted to the physically bigger guy, or a boyish guy who would be attractive to me along the lines where you would find women attractive if that makes sense, like I would only really be attracted to a man that is pretty much gender non-conforming for that role but I would be ok with almost whatever a more dom man would look like as long as the roles were clear. I dunno if this makes sense. My lack of physical attraction to male form does make me wonder if I'm really bi or some kind of other identity. Also as a guy who is sort of in-between being masculine or feminine I'm kind of neither, so I also wonder what sort of guy would be attracted to ME, like I would be neither of your types exactly lol
That makes total sense. You can be bi and just have more of a partial attraction to guys that is quite subtle or more of a closeness. Loads of bi people are like that. Totally valid.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I'm gay and for hook ups, I tend to prefer clear roles (not really vers). But, if there's a guy I really like, I tend to be more open to exploring different roles and dynamics (although there's still an overarching preference for one dynamic/role over others). I love the male form as well and in general, just so much about men. But what I really hate is the inability for so many men to not be assholes lol. If you aren't attractive in the gay community, many men will not be interested in even knowing you. I'm lucky to be a twink but it's still seriously off putting because in the back of my head I can't help but question whether any of these guys would talk to me if they didn't find me attractive. Our community has so much work to do because we've seriously over-emphasised the importance of visuals and under-emphasised emotional maturity and sensitivity.
Hey i totally agree but be careful about your own internalized homophobia. A lot of what you are complaining about the gay community happens everywhere because thats how everybody/mankind everywhere has been wired. It is a feature, not a bug, as they say! Hugs.
@@Mister_Listener Yeah I know it's not just a gay thing :) But I think regardless, it's still a big issue. Research on men's body image and appearance expectations has shown that gay men are more susceptible to internalising appearance ideals compared to heterosexual men. The idealisation of a masculine and muscular physique is also to a higher degree than what heterosexual men typically idealise (and arguably way more than what women typically idealise). I feel like this is worsened by the difficulties in meeting other gay men, thus having a reliance on bars, clubs, sex on premises venues, and dating/hook up apps.
I'm gay and have similar preferences for types of men: being submissive to bigger/stronger guys, and I equally love being the dominant stronger player to young, petite twink boys. I always found these preferences fascinating.
There is a certain thing I always had since I discovered I was bi, it a certain feeling of... Kinkyness (?) when it comes to imagine myself with a guy. It feels kinky, like "haha, we're just boys having fun". The most easy way I can explain this is the same 'taboo but exciting' feeling that straight guys think lesbic sex has, it's just fantastic and I don't even know why I see it like that. It's not like I had to hide my sexual orientation, nor that I had to live hiding it for a long time, but idk. There's just something more tempting and wholesome when it comes to me thinking about having a boyfriend rather than having a girlfriend. Call it gender roles, but I just LOVE how gay dynamics can be so malleable, and maybe some times you enjoy feeling like the 'gentlemen' who spoils his bf in the relationship and other times you prefer being the 'delicate little guy' who his bf spoils. On the other hand, while I'm having a girlfriend it feels like I have to change my attitude and my customs a bit, and yet it's not necessarily about being the 'man of the relationship'. I think it's just more difficult for me to find my role (in any kind of way) in a straight couple as a bi guy than in a gay couple.
Oh man, absolutely! Thanks so much for the encouragement. I would LOVE to see your version of the topic. That's what I live for. Just speaking my mind so that others can do so too. Look forward to it. You can give me a shout out :-) I will fan girl so much. Big love
I hear alot of flip flopping and much requirements here or he'll flop somewhere else with a woman i guess . Then when that's not right and meeting his criteria anymore and he wants muscles again. He'll flop back somewhere else for a bit with a man and then when convenient , flop back with a woman not telling her what he was doing prior i guess.What a big mess. Best to just leave him alone until he flops somewhere, gets tested and then Stays Put.
Personally I always say that I'm physically straight and emotionally gay. By that I mean that I'm physically attracted to women but at the same time I'm also attracted men on a spiritua/emotional l level
Hmm. I'm a gay man attracted to a bi man. I thought i could just do a few more crunches and push-ups to get him to notice me but it seems it could be a bit more nuanced than that... Dang.
I have simply never had any interest in the opposite sex. Just no "path to ground" there (electrician phrase). However, with the same sex...everything "lights up". Emotionally and physically, everything is there. I've known this since I was between the ages of 4-6. I have always known that is how I'm wired, and understood as a child I needed to hide that from my parents, friends, and the rest of the world. 40+ years later I can upack it all, but the hiding and denial has only made my desire for same-sex connection stronger and more intense. No confusion or ambiguity or internal conflict there at all.
@@CajunGators I still don’t get or understand their stance. They don’t get to decide with whom the bisexuals should prefer to connect intimately. In my opinion, it’s a childish irrational will to “subscribe” people with the gay group, as soon as they have a homosexual experience. Probably because they’re tired of being or feeling marginalized. Still childish
Point #2 is why I dislike men! Easier is not better, easier cheapens the connection. If you can just easily get with men, I don't value the connection because I feel like if you don't have to work for it, and anybody can just come in and swoop your man up, what's the point in "building" a relationship. It's pointless. There's no trust. In a world of incertainty where you have to build a safe haven or castle around you, your man will allow infiltrators in just because they smile at him. It's so unattractive to me. I feel so insecure around men, not because im insecure, but because i know how easily men are influenced by sex and horniness. It's just not worth the effort ive realized as i get older. As a gay guy, i understand women more and more and lose respect for men as the years go by.
I'm hearing a lot about physicality and roles here. Not much about emotional connection. As a gay man, I would never be able to trust someone like this emotionally. So, bi guys are good for hook ups, but not dating or relationships.
I felt like you were describing me when you were talking about a man to whom you’re attracted. You very much remind me of my first serious bf too. Hmm.
Thank you for this kind compliment. There are so many people who are perceived to be good looking but don’t feel confident at all. Beauty really truly is about how you feel inside.
Excellent explanation. The sexual energy is more savage and stronger and men are definitely easier however i think building a relationship with a man is more difficult because in my experience they are flakier and as soon as the erection goes down so does all communication but when woman likes you SHE REALLY LIKES YOU but it seems men like everybody because as you stated men are easier lol.
Bisexual obviously means you have an attraction to both sexes, but what happens if you like men, but not in a sexual way? What about more emotional or platonic?
I think men have a more natural look. Especially Mediterranean, Brazilian etc no make up, beautiful skin. Woman are beautiful but sometimes to adorned. Also some men have well crafted bodies that are to be complimented and not necessarily lusted after.
All i hear is sex sex sex. 1. Being able to have sex without dating and it not being a process 2. Physical types of men (big and strong or small and feminine ) all relating back to sex. Perpetual sexual existence and the comment section proves that a lot of other sexually fluid ppl share in the same sexual deviancy. It is not normal to be 35 years old waking up day to day looking for someone new to F. The author spoke about "loving the male form" with fitting clothes and how beautiful it is. Not once did he make any mention to anything beneath the surface. This video put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Thank you for sharing! Much appreciated! I'm a Gay man and my 1st relationship was with a bisexual guy, but he eventually wanted to have a family, and married a young woman. To this day we are still friends. He's now a grandfather with 3 daughters and several grandchildren. We're both now in our 70s and back in the day it was very dangerous to publicly come out. To this very day he doesn't want his family to know about his Gay (bisexual) past and of course I always respected his wishes. I'm also very friendly with his family, who always thought of me as his best friend.
Hey thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. It is a privilege to read them. Thank you for all the love and understanding that you have shown throughout your life especially during these really hard times. My freedom and everything I do is because of the bravery and conviction you showed even when it was so tough. We owe you a debt of gratitude. ❤️🌈
Maybe you have lived a sheltered life. I am not being factitious. You are in an enviable place in our society; it must be nice to never have been “in the closet”. There ARE women who are bi-sexual, and you might actually know some without realizing it.
There are a lot of men who think their only option is to be with a woman. There's nothing wrong with that if that's what you really want. However, if you do have an attraction to men, don't ignore it. It's perfectly normal. You certainly don't want to get married and have kids and then find out you've made a huge mistake. Be honest with yourself and others.
Pauljack7170 - - the mistake I'm referring to actually being bi and thinking that if you get married to a woman you'll be forced to be straight. It simply doesn't work that way. Why subject an innocent woman and children to your denial of your own sexual reality?
@@johnrichards3666 why getting married and have kids when you love to go with escorts or have mistresses most of men and many women act as such .. so why a bi should be obliged to act differently ? married or not u act according your nature there is no laws or pre fixed tutorial to follow ! your sexuality is YOURS u r not obliged to fully share with your partners some do others don't is your personal life .. do you think your son daughter or wife yours parents family are transparent with you about their own sexual life ?
@@pauljack7170if that's your mentality, which is unethical, then find partners that are OK with you deceiving them. You're not obligated to be an honest person but that doesn't give you the right to act recklessly in other people's lives or put them in situations they wouldn't consent to had you have been transparent with them. This is one of the many reasons people have trouble trusting bisexuality. If it's not a secret, why are you hiding it?
@@yoyodre because my sexuality is a private thing that i unveil with my partner wife mistress boyfriend or whatever .. if you have sexxu enveil your nature is obvious !! .. i do not stick a badge on my lapel « i am so and so» which is the difference u cheat your partner with same or diffent sex than tours the moment u cheat is your private business or couple business if you like free sex or exchange or whatever .. yet is personal again ! who wrote that when u have a partner u must be faithful only to that ? nobody do ! grow up dont' think like a child this is reality .. but u can live as u like no one is bothered
I’m a bi girl, 35 years old, married to a great guy. I accepted my bisexuality quite early (teenage years) but it took me many years to come out properly and only in the last few years I could embrace this. I am happy in my marriage but I have a little regret for missing out on so many great possibilities. That’s okay, I’m at peace now with my identity and I am satisfied with my current state. I wish there were such channels like yours when I was struggling with these very important questions. I haven’t known that many bisexuals, either. Some people don’t get why it is tricky to be a bisexual person, they don’t get how you are stuck between the pull of different paradigms. Anyways, this was a fun video. I had the idea to reflect on it as a bi girl in another video but you see, I’m still not there in bravery. But I’ll definitely think some more about this topic.
When you said that its traditionally not allowed for a man to show emotion for another man and that you marvel its heaven when a man lets you in and breaks down his walls....as a female we most often live life looking through the glass at the moment you just shared. We see men talking to other men, sharing long term close friendships, men saying they enjoy their guy time so much...men being supportive of eachother, I hope I am explaining right but we see men loving men in general in society hence recent conversations about men not even liking women blah blah...because as much as a romantic heart to heart intimacy between a man and a woman is societally accepted its not really happening in most male female relationships. Most women are trying every strategy in the book to experience something more then the physical and really get that emotion that you speak off with a man. So I would say many women are jealous of this as naturing as we are we dont get that not even for a glimse like you explained it. I speak for the general population looking at the never ending conflicts and tensions in male female relationships
Thanks for this thoughtful comment. I get what you’re saying. Totally agree. There is definitely often a comradery between men but it can be very brittle. It’s not as close as you might think. There’s a lot of fear of fitting in and measuring up that goes on.
What you are explaining is just friendship. Men prioritizing their guy time is the same as girls prioritizing ladies night. You described as looking through glass when seeing this but that's not the case, in fact when it comes to women, it's more acceptable for you guys to be friends and love on each other. The world accepts lesbians because the straight man finds it attractive as opposed to two men, which is not fetishized. A group of guys hanging out getting drunk and kissing each other sounds weird. But a group of women doing the same would be deemed as normal -- its a double standard and a privilege that women have over men. And to say that intimacy isn't happening with traditional relationships I can understand. Unfortunately most straight people are straight because they were told to be that way by society. So there isn't really a desire there more like them falling into place. Also, that's why lgbt relationships are so great because if he wants to play the ps4, I'll sit right there and we'll experience that together because we both love video games. But in traditional relationships the girl would more than likely be turned off at the man playing the game. They would feel ignored.
Thanks for sharing, but that feeling of wanting you have discribed definitely happens the same way in male/male relationships. Because, just like he said, there are roles being played there too. Whenever I hear women say what you're saying, I think to myself. It has to be that way or you really wouldn't be interested in him. Therefore, he may give you a glimpse here and there, but that's the way it has to be. It's the same in the male/male sphere.
This sounds so nice to me. I’m 26 and I thought I was straight my whole life but as of today I’m questioning. I’m married to a woman but have only very rarely in my life has the experience of feeling safe with someone to be emotional. When he described how men can be with other men I wanted that so bad. I’m tired of having to be tough and having so much responsibility. Honestly women are kind of difficult. They expect a lot and I don’t feel safe being vulnerable around them like I do with gay men. Maybe that’s why I’ve always had gay best friends. And I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about how sometimes guys will open up to the woman they’re dating and she will be turned off or react poorly so I’m very scared to cry in front of my wife. Usually all my emotions come out as anger because I’m so scared to cry. I love her but sometimes I wonder if I would feel more emotionally safe if I was with a man
I am a 79 year old Homosexual man who has experimented with women. There is hardly a man about whom I am unable to find something attractive, but they do exist. I can see the beauty in Women. Sometimes I find myself to be unsure of a person’s gender, and am still able to see something appealing. Beauty is not the epitome of perfection the way that ugliness is.
Oh there are shit tons of guys I find unattractive and sadly they’re rarely straight but I digress. I find a face can mutate from bland to enchantingly beautiful and vice versa as you get to know somebody’s real “self”.
Oh that's interesting. I rarely find things that attractive about most guys, which is why it's very natural for me to be monogamous. It takes me a while to build that attraction
@@tstieber When I was young, monogamy was for faithful married people. Marriage for me was beyond any realistic notion. That changed when I was in my 70s. I might yet meet the great love of my life that I don’t have to walk away from.
@@christopherrobertson7723Well said and I agree. I just appreciate men in general in a different way. It’s a bad attitude/manners that can make anyone off putting for me.
I am very attracted to other men like me who are masculine and even "bad boys", and I'm also attracted to feminine guys too. I find feminity and masculinity very hot.
It's not so crazy, most of what he described could be categorized as the "ideal" man no matter whom was asked. We all are attracted to fit, confident, well groomed, empathetic men. People vary on the levels of attraction to less ideal features, but everyone is turned on by Ryan Reynolds.
For me it's the whole masculine enough but has a feminine side by straight acting not into flamboyant men . It hard to find someone that can hold me when I need it.
I thought my whole life that I was gay, but I recently realized that it’s not really the case. I wanna experiment and explore women too. Sometimes gay community can be too toxic and try to push you into certain directions. I wish people were more accepting and we were just individuals with our own needs and preferences and we didn’t have to label everything. I’m 28 and I think there’s a lot of things I have to explore. I enjoyed bottoming always, I still do, but I think there’s whole new other room I can explore and just be free. Labels and those small little groups really divide people into small little pieces. People are just people as simple as it sounds.
It has always been baffling to me that a lot of gay people believe bisexuality is a choice, but homosexuality isn’t. Sexuality is so intricate and complex. Some people want to simplify it but know in their mind and heart that they have feelings too that they can’t control or understand. Some act on them and some don’t.
Thank you for this. Very good point.
Slimtee2 It makes absolutely no difference whether your straight, bi or gay. It's all in what you're attracted to. I don't think we have much control over that. Just be honest with your partners.
A lot of gays? I never met one gay man thinking that
@@zaasfromparis And I definitely have… living in California and New York since the 80s., I have encountered A lot of gay people who have had that mindset. Things may be changing now, but if you identified as bi back in the day, like straight people, gay people rejected the concept of bisexuality. You are either gay or straight. The discussion can go on and on, but there were a lot of debates about bisexuality in the LGBTQ community over the years.
It’s mainly because a lot of gay men say they are bi while they actually gay. It’s not that common nowadays maybe but 10 years ago it was kinda popular. It made them feel safer and more straight in less open and catholic societies.
As a bi guy myself, I tend to lean more towards men. I guess because I like how some men look, the way they dress, the way they become protective, and the physicality between myself and a man. Sometimes I like being in a big man’s arms, holding me, feeling safe and secure. I too find beauty in women as well. I like the warmth and the nurturing of a woman. I like the scent of a woman. I just find beauty in both men and women. Btw, I’ve been with my guy for almost 10 years.
I love everything about men! The way we smell, feel, think, look, and taste 👅. We are some beautiful creatures ❤.
So true! Love this. Yes!
I think Drew Wyllie was right in that man on man passion is so hot and primal and erotic. Men know how to please other men.
I agree with you completely!
we are image of God and beauty u r correct !
Especially the smell.
I am gay and I love that sense of security and protection in men...
Ur a bottom arent u?
So what do you have that too?
Protection from other men?
This is such a beautiful eye opening conversation thank you ! I am a bisexual woman and I have been curious as what that is like for men
Hey thanks I’m so pleased you liked it
It's funny tho.. that part of not knowing what you like about men also creates confusion in males, and insecurities....
I'm hetero and am listening to gay guys saying what they like about men so I can get some information.
As a gay man, I have often wondered if bi men have a few more challenges. I wonder if women shy away from bi men, worried that they are more prone to cheat or have stis or hiv. I also wonder if gay men more often accuse them of being in denial. I agree with the Kinsey scale that says most humans are bisexual to some degree. Even I have had the occasional attractions to women.
I'm gay and I have some bi friends, from what I understood the difficulty is to find what side you will go. When you are gay or straight, you don't have particularly a choice to make. But being bi seems difficult in that aspect. Once you spend more time with gay men, you will may have difficulties to go with women after.
The lgbt world and straight world are quite closed and there are few interactions in between.
I read a lot women dislike to be with a bi guy, they think they are gonna leave them for another men. And some women think they are less masculine because they already hookup with other men.
I could not be with my bi ex. To think he could go off in the night and have sex in a gay sauna and could infect me. No thanks. Finished before it began
@@sarahkennedy1481So the issue was you were afraid your ex would cheat on you, not that they were bi.
Gosh, it’s like you read my mind and now describing it to the viewers!
How does that feel? To know that what goes on in your mind is shared by another person?
Interesting and rather lovely. I am a gay man who has had a fbuddy relationship with a bi man for 13 years, including during his ten-year marriage (we are both single at the moment). However, recently we realised we have two separate relationships with each other. He comes to dinner and we chat and are affectionate (platonically and verbally, cuddle if we are sad kind of thing) and discuss everything from how badly run is an organisation we both have connections to and how nothing in it really changes over time (I am 63, he is 39), to how our relationships are going (mine with my lesbian-couple son, him with girlfriends and family).
He also comes over for the same reasons we met all those years ago, and we DON'T really talk at all (except, as he put it, to express immediate wishes and appreciation🤣).
The main point of this comment though is that recently during one of the "dinner" visits I specifically asked him what he found attractive about women and men, separately, because I never had before. His answer for women was highly specific physically and politically: apart from the physical things, (which I won't describe) he likes leftist, nerdy, gamer type women. Then I asked him about men. His answer was much more broad: he likes men only after getting to know them; he is attracted to personalities. It is only once he likes someone that any physical stuff comes into his feelings, and then what he likes tends to be the kind of bloke you would meet at a pub: ordinary, unassuming, dad-bod, easy to relate to. It really doesn't matter what they look like.
I don't really know how the dynamics you have described work out in our situation, except maybe the protector thing, (I am older and wiser, but he is bigger), mentor(?). It is possibly the very difference and variety you describe - I am no young, nerdy, lefty activist woman, let me tell you, so maybe I fulfil the need tor courteous, older, conservative, steady, knows-what-he-wants-out-of-life types.
My attraction to him is easy: he is extremely empathic, kind and giving, and he is frankly stunningly gorgeous (shallow gay man alert!) with a very slight bad-boy roughness. Why he was attracted to an older, worn-out dad-bod always eluded me, but now I know!
Thanks, your insights were fascinating.
Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate this beautiful description.
@@notdefining Very welcome; I really enjoyed your insights.
i do agree when men get close and drop their gaurd its heavenly. when i mean drop their gaurd let the normative way that men interact with eachother drop and when we allow ourselfs to get close to eachother the way we like it to regardless of what society expects from us.
Yesss totally
RUclips just recommended this video. I’m glad it did! I am a gay man and I enjoyed hearing what you like about men. I like a lot of the same things. May I also compliment you on your overall presentation? You are a fascinating individual and it is refreshing to observe your candor, you are very well reasoned and you express your thoughts with such perfect clarity. Bravo! All my best to you…
First of all, thank you for having this conversation. It's super important and we should all talk about the nuances and particularities of human beings and their sexuality. My problem with bisexuality is that of all the bisexual men I've met in my life, they were all "traumatized" by women and they all said they had difficulty finding a serious woman for a stable relationship. However, with me they wanted sex and not a stable relationship, even though I was difficult and showed resistance, just like woman. What is happening here is that bisexuality ends up being an escape to mask the man's frustration at not being able to find a woman. However, in between, these men are with men sexually. It is not love! It's sex! Of all the bisexuals I met, they all said they couldn't have romantic relationships with men. So are they bisexual??!?!?!??? There are many nuances that could be discussed here, such as the impositions of society, culture and the fear they have of clashing with all of this. Because many of these things are registered and trapped in our conditioned minds. I understand why homosexuals don't believe in and make fun of bisexuality. Heterosexual women do the same thing. The impression it gives is that bisexual men and women cannot be trusted and that there is only confusion in their heads. People need true love, especially homossexual men (because of the prejudice, violence and stigma) and the majority of bissexual men have women in their heads and in their dreams! From what I saw and went through, this is my experience. I've probably never met a serious bisexual or someone who wasn't just starting to experiment with their sexuality with other men...
Yes they are bisexual if they can’t have romantic attraction to men and I’m sorry you have only met bi guys who have been traumatised by women. This has nothing to do with bisexuality. Sending love.
This is the comment I was looking for! This is 1000% the experience many gay people have with Bi men. We are good enough to hookup/experiment with, but never be dateable.
I'm so glad that you mentioned how you love a man because of admiration and because you think to yourself "You represent that which I myself wish I would become." I feel like that all the time.
I thank the intimacy between two men is on a whole level that I don’t understand because some bisexual men love straight men.
🩷
As a woman who loves women o def understand that part about liking and admiring certain traits in the same sex. It was always hard to explain.. Glad to know I'm not alone in that kind of thinking.
woah! first of all mark, thank you, like really;
i think you are the first dude i see expressing out loud, 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 what i'm going through in my daily life. Thank you specially because of the representation from this side of the spectrum. Greetings from Barcelona.
Hey thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to express that. I’m doing more videos like this so stay tuned. It seems there really isn’t enough of this out there so I’m delighted to share.
Thanks for making this video and sharing Mark! I love hearing the perspectives of my fellow bisexuals! As a cisgender, bisexual woman myself, I am attracted to men, women and non-binary individuals. I'm really able to be attracted to all genders but those are the three main groups for me personally.
As far as what I like about men, I have to say that I also enjoy the male form, particularly abs and pecs. So lovely to look at and feel. Not to overshare, of course. Lol!
I also love when men have pretty eyes and nice hair, especially long hair. I find that very attractive. Also, a pretty smile is nice as well.
I like men that aren't too muscular, like average build or skinny. I'm not into really big guys at all. I personally don't find that attractive.
I'm not really into body hair or facial hair either but it depends. If it's not much, I don't mind it.
I do agree that beautifully groomed men are extremely attractive. I love when you can simply just look at a man and be able to tell that he cares about taking care of himself. That's important.
As far as the types of men that I like, I enjoy men that would be considered "golden retriever types", blondish hair (usually wavy or curly), average build, pretty, bright eyes and smile, sweet personality, huggable. Lol!
I also am really attracted to alternative types like emo or goth individuals.
Mainly because I really appreciate when people are able to break norms without being afraid or even if they are afraid, they're strong enough to push through that and show the world who they truly are through expression that's true to themselves, no matter what others think.
That's very attractive to me, personally. Even better if they have musical or artistic talent as I have that myself and it's something we could bond or connect over.
I find that's actually something common within the alternative community, which definitely makes them more attractive to me beyond appearance, of course.
It also works for me because I find people who break gender roles very attractive and lots of people in the alternative community are known for doing that.
Men in the alternative community will sometimes grow their hair out long, paint their nails, wear eyeliner/eyeshadow and sometimes even wear clothes that aren't traditionally masculine.
I just love when people challenge norms, especially men because so much is pushed onto them by society.
Society tells men they must behave and present in a certain way or else they aren't "real" men. So, when men are able to break through that and do what they feel like doing to be authentic to themselves, that's attractive.
I enjoy men that are willing to be submissive to a woman, lots of them are not, which is fine but it's what I prefer personally. I just love when men understand that they can be submissive to a woman without losing their "manhood" or masculinity.
I also really enjoy when a man understands that they can also be protective of a woman, yet submissive to a woman at the same time.
Just because I'm attracted to submissive men, that doesn't mean I don't love when they step up to protect me. That actually means a lot to me because it shows me they care deeply about me. That's important.
Lastly, I totally agree with you about simply loving men because you are one. I'm the same way when it comes to women. There's this deep connection that's already there between you and someone else of the same gender and that really helps in relationships whether they be sexual, romantic or both.
(Also, firefighters and doctors! YES!
😂)
Oh thank you so much for this. I am absolutely filled with joy that we can share our feelings. This is just so great. Love to read this.
woww we have such similar taste in men
I agree with all these points. I'm vers and have a wide attraction when it comes to men, from feminine/flamboyant to masculine, twink to bear, etc. But I do like looking mostly at muscular men. I like suits but also minimal clothing too, I grew up staring at a lot of male underwear models before watching all the gay stuff. I like the roughness and the dominance, but also don't mind being sensual and passionate too. Something about men just feel so freeing and it feels so safe. Being able to support each other through the roughness of life. Men are just so insanely attractive.
It doesn't have to be gay relationships either, I do really like to support my straight male friends as well, just without the sexual parts. Something about connecting with fellow men feels great.
Thank you for your openness and for sharing. It was interesting to hear what to expect in a M to M intimate interaction 🙏
Hey you're so welcome. It's a pleasure.
Men are easy and simple from I heard other bisexual men. Women are hard to get.
It can feel that way yes.
No , to me men are just sexy , infact even in women i like women with fit body and muscles .
Very clear and outspoken. Thank you for sharing your story where some of us find similarities as well.
You are so welcome!
One thing about being bisexual is that I am sexually more into men.
Hey that’s totally valid. Love that.
I've somewhat given up trying to be in a relationship. I tried once but i know it won't work from the start and it turns out i was right.
Now I'm just focusing on trying to love myself Bi-myself.😅
Watching this though made me feel a little bit less lonely. 😊
I am interested to know how to love a bisexual man. As I am attracted to one now. I want to understand him more. So I seek to understand him
Hey that’s so great of you. Check out this video which should explain more. ruclips.net/video/73H13zOSfVw/видео.html also check out my bi allies video on my channel.
OMG YES, Bi GUYS IS WERE ITS AT. Cuz listen im gay an i may like to top my man somtimes.
BUT ONCE we out the bedroom your still my more masculine counterpart
Love the dynamic 😊😂
Same here. I used to date girls, but just for a mental need like a soul mate relationship. Also, I like girls because I respect them so deep in my heart. As to guys, we have a lot in common, physical plus mental. Most of the things you say in this video relate to me, such as admiration, easy to get along. Thanks for the honesty you present in here, hope you find a way to get through your life journey with fantastic people you will meet and live with. Cheers!
I am a bi man, although I have only told a very select people in my life. I have wanted to come out at times, but most of the time, I am perfectly content where I am with it. I have always wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with another man though, and that is probably my only regret of not coming out.
I think you share that same common attraction with other gay/bi- men when it comes to "men in uniform". Its that sense of strength, power, authority, courage, confidence and protection every gay/bi-/women want in their partners.
From my experience as a gay man, I've often met bi guys and I'd "draw" them into two main "groups" * about their attraction and interaction with men. * (for lack of better words) :
One is, like you described, being what I'd call maybe clumsily, as more heteronormative. Because they tend to stick to specific "roles" and assimilate certain practices and behaviors to certain roles. And endorse a certain role depending on the other guy, a "fixed" role.
The other being more "brotherhoodly" when with men, completely stripped of any roles. And usually loving this specificity of brotherly relationship when with men. Like it's for them a liberation from common social norms and roles they can only find with men. A very egalitarian, very brotherly relationship stripped of any preconceived social norms.
From my experience, I've found bi men to be more specifically of one group or the other, whereas I've found gay men to be evenly spread like more shades on a spectrum, less clearly defined.
But that's just my experience which was probably shaped by my own tastes and looks.
As for myself, I'm what you could call an extreme versatile egalitarian. I like certain uniforms but I despise authority, so it reduces the panel a bit.
Versatile as much in action as in roles, like being a dominant bottom, a submissive top, an equal "everything" : a brotherly play partner, no norms and surely no hetetonormative ones.
That's my thing, the "we're all in on this together, we're equal and we'll give everything to each other".
That's also something I've found a tad more prevalent in the harder scene (like "manual works" or "deep explorations" ;-) ), than on the more vanilla mainstream one, but not exclusively.
To be fair, I'd be even a bit frustrated by a partner that would take a role and keep it.
As if the only rule should be "we're men playing".
Or for variation from the "egalitarian" model, I'd go for the exact opposite of what's expected by the usual social norms.
Some would say that I'm contrarian in nature, but I'd say I just like to broaden the horizon, and experience the full gamut, as I find fixed roles to be way to restrictive and narrow.
I guess I'm a human gay bonobo in some way. 😂
I just love men entirely, and the freedom of being everything all at once. I think otherness is more valued when all norms and roles are dropped or are completely interchangeable.
I just discovered the channel and subscribed!
As a male, I like big buff guys as well who are also submissive.I think I find the contrast between appearance and (assumed)personality interesting.
Love this contrast. That’s fab.
as a bi guy with more male preference... im actually terrified of being with another bi man because i feel like he'd leave me for a woman, and is just using our romantic and sexual bond as a placeholder until he gets his life together. i've seen it happen so many times from situations i've known in real life. i've also had a female friend who's bi man was cheating on her sneaking out on weekends to get d!ck he ended up giving her an infection after having lots of unsafe sex with god knows how many people. a lot of bi men dont view their boyfriends as a permanent/long term addition to their life, or have any intention of keeping them as a partner, just leaving when they feel like they want to pop out a family or when they get bored of boys or whatever. and some do the same to their girlfriend, taking advantage of women's caring nature or getting a baby out of her while having a boy on the side. i hate to agree with the stereotypes but it is definitely a problem and valid concern to have.
See ur friend there and her cheating man? Reckon itd ever happen with a male friend married to a man like in reverse?
@@dmmoctober yes that's exactly my point. But also I do note, anyone of any race/background/upbringing/sexuality/personality/etc. can be a cheater. if you unknowingly ended up with someone who's a disloyal person, they're gonna be a disloyal person, bisexuality regardless. I'm just saying a bi guy has the potential to open even more doors and the real-life experiences I've had leave a bad taste in my mouth.
But that has less to do with being bisexual and more to do with their character… and kinda just men in general. Men just aren’t raised to be as thoughtful as they should be… the norm is to be more individualistic and focus on their own needs.
@@Liam-mv9zi I literally implied that in the comment. I even said it directly in the reply comment right above yours. Read.
@@gamer1X12 Yet somehow, after 11 days, I feel like you’re still “terrified” of being with a bi man…
You’re still implying that bi men cheat more if you won’t date them because you think they’ll cheat. You can say one thing and think another
I consider myself bissexual and this explanation matches tô some extent, for exemple,tô have a sexual relationship with men is much easier than with women. But my problem is that I’m not a great fan of penis, but as you said this admiration is sometimes a kind of jelousy, which is very crazy. Good to have someone like you to share these feelings! Congrats for you!
Wow, what a delicious explanation of men!
Both men and women can be very beautiful beauty is in all genders
I catch the eye of alot of bi guys this is insightful as to why
I completely agree with you, you have good taste (I'm also attracted to these types of men)
Ah thanks
I really loved the part where you mentioned you are attracted to men that you desire to look like, that rang so deeply within me.
Ive always had more of a boyish and soft look even at 36 years of age.
But ive always been more attracted to rugged more masculine men particularly Caucasian men.
I just love that contrast and different types of glowing.
Same but I'm still young
@prankenstyne0068 enjoy your youth, no one is ripe forever.
Thanks for the heads up I think you're amazing and you have a wonderful way of saying the way it is loving
😊 thank you. This has made my day.
It’s like you read my mind
What does that tell you? That you’re not alone and there are others who experience the same or similar as you…isn’t that great to know?
Thank you Mark another great video.
I feel I’m a bit unusual as a gay man as I quite enjoy a younger guy being in control being a little assertive with me but I am not a slave or very submissive, I do not enjoy guys being dominant - bullying - aggressive. I much prefer guys to be kind romantic, have a caring side even if he’s dressed for me in a leather jacket or camouflage gear or sports kit or a business suit or my favourite - a shirt and tie under a set of motorcycle leathers.
I don’t feel very comfortable or confident taking the dominant role. I find it interesting /curious that most younger guys want older guys like me to be dominant - in control. I am much happier knowing that the other guy is slightly more assertive or we are equals rather than master slave or Dom Sub.
Keep up the good work, finding your videos, provoking and stimulating.
So I'm pretty sure I'm bi myself, and I could relate with a lot of what you said especially the kind of dichotomy between the two types of guys! I think for me though I don't really have much attraction to the male form, so it's kind of like that I would be attracted to the physically bigger guy, or a boyish guy who would be attractive to me along the lines where you would find women attractive if that makes sense, like I would only really be attracted to a man that is pretty much gender non-conforming for that role but I would be ok with almost whatever a more dom man would look like as long as the roles were clear. I dunno if this makes sense. My lack of physical attraction to male form does make me wonder if I'm really bi or some kind of other identity.
Also as a guy who is sort of in-between being masculine or feminine I'm kind of neither, so I also wonder what sort of guy would be attracted to ME, like I would be neither of your types exactly lol
That makes total sense. You can be bi and just have more of a partial attraction to guys that is quite subtle or more of a closeness. Loads of bi people are like that. Totally valid.
"A-hole-is-a-hole" kinda guy?😂
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I'm gay and for hook ups, I tend to prefer clear roles (not really vers). But, if there's a guy I really like, I tend to be more open to exploring different roles and dynamics (although there's still an overarching preference for one dynamic/role over others). I love the male form as well and in general, just so much about men. But what I really hate is the inability for so many men to not be assholes lol. If you aren't attractive in the gay community, many men will not be interested in even knowing you. I'm lucky to be a twink but it's still seriously off putting because in the back of my head I can't help but question whether any of these guys would talk to me if they didn't find me attractive. Our community has so much work to do because we've seriously over-emphasised the importance of visuals and under-emphasised emotional maturity and sensitivity.
Hey i totally agree but be careful about your own internalized homophobia. A lot of what you are complaining about the gay community happens everywhere because thats how everybody/mankind everywhere has been wired. It is a feature, not a bug, as they say! Hugs.
@@Mister_Listener Yeah I know it's not just a gay thing :) But I think regardless, it's still a big issue. Research on men's body image and appearance expectations has shown that gay men are more susceptible to internalising appearance ideals compared to heterosexual men. The idealisation of a masculine and muscular physique is also to a higher degree than what heterosexual men typically idealise (and arguably way more than what women typically idealise). I feel like this is worsened by the difficulties in meeting other gay men, thus having a reliance on bars, clubs, sex on premises venues, and dating/hook up apps.
I wish I was this articulate. Very insightful and open.
Thank yuo for your openness and insight. Brilliant video.
You’re so welcome. It is my pleasure. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
thanks for making straight guys so curious about having some fun with other guys. You are just opening their eyes.
You’re correct, about it being easier to date (be in a relationship) a man.
Thanks for the video. Sounded to me like you were describing Henry Cavill, strong but kind. And wearing a suit... hmmm chef's kiss! 🔥🥵
I'm gay and have similar preferences for types of men: being submissive to bigger/stronger guys, and I equally love being the dominant stronger player to young, petite twink boys. I always found these preferences fascinating.
This was so neat to hear! Thanks for sharing this! ❤ 🏳️🌈
Aren't all guys bi or bi curious now? Like really. I do think Feminine men have a more difficult time in fitting in. Always have! You are who you are!
im gay and some of the things you said about why men are beautiful made me smile and kick my feet like...
Aaah yes. We are the closest family.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS VIDEO, Thank you
you are adorable!!!!!! I had a great time just listening to you.
Oh thank you!
Totally relate to being attracted to opposites and then the energy shifts with each 😂
Thanks for sharing that you relate
It has to do with the String Theory ...men have fewer strings attached . LOL
There is a certain thing I always had since I discovered I was bi, it a certain feeling of... Kinkyness (?) when it comes to imagine myself with a guy. It feels kinky, like "haha, we're just boys having fun". The most easy way I can explain this is the same 'taboo but exciting' feeling that straight guys think lesbic sex has, it's just fantastic and I don't even know why I see it like that. It's not like I had to hide my sexual orientation, nor that I had to live hiding it for a long time, but idk. There's just something more tempting and wholesome when it comes to me thinking about having a boyfriend rather than having a girlfriend. Call it gender roles, but I just LOVE how gay dynamics can be so malleable, and maybe some times you enjoy feeling like the 'gentlemen' who spoils his bf in the relationship and other times you prefer being the 'delicate little guy' who his bf spoils.
On the other hand, while I'm having a girlfriend it feels like I have to change my attitude and my customs a bit, and yet it's not necessarily about being the 'man of the relationship'. I think it's just more difficult for me to find my role (in any kind of way) in a straight couple as a bi guy than in a gay couple.
Oh my god I love this! Do you mind if I create a similar video?
Oh man, absolutely! Thanks so much for the encouragement. I would LOVE to see your version of the topic. That's what I live for. Just speaking my mind so that others can do so too. Look forward to it. You can give me a shout out :-) I will fan girl so much. Big love
My husband and I say the same thing. Especially when we watch these reality shows like 90 day fiance, and seeing them crazy womenz... Oh man!
I hear alot of flip flopping and much requirements here or he'll flop somewhere else with a woman i guess . Then when that's not right and meeting his criteria anymore and he wants muscles again. He'll flop back somewhere else for a bit with a man and then when convenient , flop back with a woman not telling her what he was doing prior i guess.What a big mess. Best to just leave him alone until he flops somewhere, gets tested and then Stays Put.
Personally I always say that I'm physically straight and emotionally gay. By that I mean that I'm physically attracted to women but at the same time I'm also attracted men on a spiritua/emotional l level
LOL I think you're just a typical straight bro.
Hmm. I'm a gay man attracted to a bi man. I thought i could just do a few more crunches and push-ups to get him to notice me but it seems it could be a bit more nuanced than that... Dang.
Hey thanks for sharing. There are plenty of of us bi guys out there who would love to be with you I’m sure of that.
I have simply never had any interest in the opposite sex. Just no "path to ground" there (electrician phrase). However, with the same sex...everything "lights up". Emotionally and physically, everything is there. I've known this since I was between the ages of 4-6. I have always known that is how I'm wired, and understood as a child I needed to hide that from my parents, friends, and the rest of the world. 40+ years later I can upack it all, but the hiding and denial has only made my desire for same-sex connection stronger and more intense. No confusion or ambiguity or internal conflict there at all.
Bisexuality fascinates me. I'm gay, and I've known gay (and a few lesbian) pals or acquaintances who wouldn't accept bisexuality is a thing.
To be fair some of these same gay men screaming about everything being a spectrum will do the same to bi guys.
@@CajunGators I still don’t get or understand their stance. They don’t get to decide with whom the bisexuals should prefer to connect intimately. In my opinion, it’s a childish irrational will to “subscribe” people with the gay group, as soon as they have a homosexual experience. Probably because they’re tired of being or feeling marginalized. Still childish
Point #2 is why I dislike men! Easier is not better, easier cheapens the connection. If you can just easily get with men, I don't value the connection because I feel like if you don't have to work for it, and anybody can just come in and swoop your man up, what's the point in "building" a relationship. It's pointless. There's no trust. In a world of incertainty where you have to build a safe haven or castle around you, your man will allow infiltrators in just because they smile at him. It's so unattractive to me. I feel so insecure around men, not because im insecure, but because i know how easily men are influenced by sex and horniness. It's just not worth the effort ive realized as i get older. As a gay guy, i understand women more and more and lose respect for men as the years go by.
I agree, generally speaking,men are prone to weakness.
I am bi and I like men with masculinity since i am masculine in order to be protected each other.
Men taste great, sweat , sex,and pheromones, are a wilder beast, almost telepathically connected, we don’t have to speak.
You are handsome and should have no problem with anyone.
Thank you. You are too kind.
Its all about energy vibration
I'm hearing a lot about physicality and roles here. Not much about emotional connection. As a gay man, I would never be able to trust someone like this emotionally. So, bi guys are good for hook ups, but not dating or relationships.
Love is a battlefield lol
1. the D
2. 1 ball
3. The other ball
4. The D again
5. The D again again
I think most people are attracted to a power differential
I felt like you were describing me when you were talking about a man to whom you’re attracted. You very much remind me of my first serious bf too. Hmm.
Ngl as a bi woman myself I agree with u lol
You basically like everyone 🎉
Diversity is the key to a prosperous joyful successful and sustainable Future for All ❤
U are good looking am surprised to hear your not confident with all those looks.
Thank you for this kind compliment. There are so many people who are perceived to be good looking but don’t feel confident at all. Beauty really truly is about how you feel inside.
Hey hey you gotta stop This , I thought you were talking about me lol , bro , I agree with you 1000%
Love the accent!!
Excellent explanation. The sexual energy is more savage and stronger and men are definitely easier however i think building a relationship with a man is more difficult because in my experience they are flakier and as soon as the erection goes down so does all communication but when woman likes you SHE REALLY LIKES YOU but it seems men like everybody because as you stated men are easier lol.
As a trans gay person I Always have met many types of bi guys, sex is not love do we define sexuality by sex only?
Bisexual obviously means you have an attraction to both sexes, but what happens if you like men, but not in a sexual way? What about more emotional or platonic?
You can call yourself bi as well. If you want. But it doesn’t have to be. There are no set rules.
Pansexual or fluid
So right sir
As a black gay man, this video should be educational. Not the ignorant rah rah I'm getting
Are you Heteroflexible, "True-Bisexual" (50/50), Pansexual, Fluid, or Homoflexible?
ETA: Sorry if you answered this otherwise.
8:16 I mean, you said it yourself a couple minutes ago 😅
I think men have a more natural look. Especially Mediterranean, Brazilian etc no make up, beautiful skin. Woman are beautiful but sometimes to adorned. Also some men have well crafted bodies that are to be complimented and not necessarily lusted after.
You’re such a precious lad.
Beautifully and eloquently said.
All i hear is sex sex sex. 1. Being able to have sex without dating and it not being a process 2. Physical types of men (big and strong or small and feminine ) all relating back to sex. Perpetual sexual existence and the comment section proves that a lot of other sexually fluid ppl share in the same sexual deviancy. It is not normal to be 35 years old waking up day to day looking for someone new to F. The author spoke about "loving the male form" with fitting clothes and how beautiful it is. Not once did he make any mention to anything beneath the surface. This video put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Thank you for sharing! Much appreciated! I'm a Gay man and my 1st relationship was with a bisexual guy, but he eventually wanted to have a family, and married a young woman. To this day we are still friends. He's now a grandfather with 3 daughters and several grandchildren. We're both now in our 70s and back in the day it was very dangerous to publicly come out. To this very day he doesn't want his family to know about his Gay (bisexual) past and of course I always respected his wishes. I'm also very friendly with his family, who always thought of me as his best friend.
Hey thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. It is a privilege to read them. Thank you for all the love and understanding that you have shown throughout your life especially during these really hard times. My freedom and everything I do is because of the bravery and conviction you showed even when it was so tough. We owe you a debt of gratitude. ❤️🌈
Wow That's deep...
Do you still have sex?
That's love 💕. But curious question, do you ever felt jealous by his wife?
A gay man's nightmare that's why many of us don't get involved with bi men because no one wants to be or feel used.
Beautiful video❤.
As a straight man I have never heard such things from a woman.
Hey thanks for saying
Maybe you have lived a sheltered life. I am not being factitious. You are in an enviable place in our society; it must be nice to never have been “in the closet”. There ARE women who are bi-sexual, and you might actually know some without realizing it.
@@christopherrobertson7723 you might never know ? Lolzzzz .women are very opened about being bisexual than men .of course we are going to know .
There is a imbalance in power dynamics with women, that's why.
As a gay man I feel my attraction to men is the same as yours. It is nice to hear it put into words so well. Thanks for sharing!
(I'm male)At first i started to like girls. Years later also boys. It seems that i am bi (sorry for bad english)
That's great. Me too! Happy days :-)
@@notdefiningThanks👍 Sometimes i am really confused, do you have some tips to be more confident about bisexuality?
There are a lot of men who think their only option is to be with a woman. There's nothing wrong with that if that's what you really want. However, if you do have an attraction to men, don't ignore it. It's perfectly normal. You certainly don't want to get married and have kids and then find out you've made a huge mistake. Be honest with yourself and others.
what mistake ? to get married and have children or not ? each one has to lid islife as he pleases and not follow the heard !
Pauljack7170 - - the mistake I'm referring to actually being bi and thinking that if you get married to a woman you'll be forced to be straight. It simply doesn't work that way. Why subject an innocent woman and children to your denial of your own sexual reality?
@@johnrichards3666 why getting married and have kids when you love to go with escorts or have mistresses most of men and many women act as such .. so why a bi should be obliged to act differently ? married or not u act according your nature there is no laws or pre fixed tutorial to follow !
your sexuality is YOURS u r not obliged to fully share with your partners some do others don't is your personal life .. do you think your son daughter or wife yours parents family are transparent with you about their own sexual life ?
@@pauljack7170if that's your mentality, which is unethical, then find partners that are OK with you deceiving them. You're not obligated to be an honest person but that doesn't give you the right to act recklessly in other people's lives or put them in situations they wouldn't consent to had you have been transparent with them.
This is one of the many reasons people have trouble trusting bisexuality. If it's not a secret, why are you hiding it?
@@yoyodre because my sexuality is a private thing that i unveil with my partner wife mistress boyfriend or whatever .. if you have sexxu enveil your nature is obvious !!
.. i do not stick a badge on my lapel « i am so and so» which is the difference u cheat your partner with same or diffent sex than tours
the moment u cheat is your private business
or couple business if you like free sex or exchange or whatever .. yet is personal again !
who wrote that when u have a partner u must be faithful only to that ? nobody do !
grow up dont' think like a child this is reality .. but u can live as u like no one is bothered
I’m a bi girl, 35 years old, married to a great guy. I accepted my bisexuality quite early (teenage years) but it took me many years to come out properly and only in the last few years I could embrace this. I am happy in my marriage but I have a little regret for missing out on so many great possibilities. That’s okay, I’m at peace now with my identity and I am satisfied with my current state. I wish there were such channels like yours when I was struggling with these very important questions. I haven’t known that many bisexuals, either. Some people don’t get why it is tricky to be a bisexual person, they don’t get how you are stuck between the pull of different paradigms. Anyways, this was a fun video. I had the idea to reflect on it as a bi girl in another video but you see, I’m still not there in bravery. But I’ll definitely think some more about this topic.
Oh Dora Gabriela i want to meet you...😊
When you said that its traditionally not allowed for a man to show emotion for another man and that you marvel its heaven when a man lets you in and breaks down his walls....as a female we most often live life looking through the glass at the moment you just shared. We see men talking to other men, sharing long term close friendships, men saying they enjoy their guy time so much...men being supportive of eachother, I hope I am explaining right but we see men loving men in general in society hence recent conversations about men not even liking women blah blah...because as much as a romantic heart to heart intimacy between a man and a woman is societally accepted its not really happening in most male female relationships. Most women are trying every strategy in the book to experience something more then the physical and really get that emotion that you speak off with a man. So I would say many women are jealous of this as naturing as we are we dont get that not even for a glimse like you explained it. I speak for the general population looking at the never ending conflicts and tensions in male female relationships
Thanks for this thoughtful comment. I get what you’re saying. Totally agree. There is definitely often a comradery between men but it can be very brittle. It’s not as close as you might think. There’s a lot of fear of fitting in and measuring up that goes on.
What you are explaining is just friendship. Men prioritizing their guy time is the same as girls prioritizing ladies night. You described as looking through glass when seeing this but that's not the case, in fact when it comes to women, it's more acceptable for you guys to be friends and love on each other. The world accepts lesbians because the straight man finds it attractive as opposed to two men, which is not fetishized. A group of guys hanging out getting drunk and kissing each other sounds weird. But a group of women doing the same would be deemed as normal -- its a double standard and a privilege that women have over men. And to say that intimacy isn't happening with traditional relationships I can understand. Unfortunately most straight people are straight because they were told to be that way by society. So there isn't really a desire there more like them falling into place. Also, that's why lgbt relationships are so great because if he wants to play the ps4, I'll sit right there and we'll experience that together because we both love video games. But in traditional relationships the girl would more than likely be turned off at the man playing the game. They would feel ignored.
Thanks for sharing, but that feeling of wanting you have discribed definitely happens the same way in male/male relationships. Because, just like he said, there are roles being played there too. Whenever I hear women say what you're saying, I think to myself. It has to be that way or you really wouldn't be interested in him. Therefore, he may give you a glimpse here and there, but that's the way it has to be. It's the same in the male/male sphere.
This sounds so nice to me. I’m 26 and I thought I was straight my whole life but as of today I’m questioning. I’m married to a woman but have only very rarely in my life has the experience of feeling safe with someone to be emotional. When he described how men can be with other men I wanted that so bad. I’m tired of having to be tough and having so much responsibility. Honestly women are kind of difficult. They expect a lot and I don’t feel safe being vulnerable around them like I do with gay men. Maybe that’s why I’ve always had gay best friends. And I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about how sometimes guys will open up to the woman they’re dating and she will be turned off or react poorly so I’m very scared to cry in front of my wife. Usually all my emotions come out as anger because I’m so scared to cry. I love her but sometimes I wonder if I would feel more emotionally safe if I was with a man
I am a 79 year old Homosexual man who has experimented with women. There is hardly a man about whom I am unable to find something attractive, but they do exist. I can see the beauty in Women. Sometimes I find myself to be unsure of a person’s gender, and am still able to see something appealing. Beauty is not the epitome of perfection the way that ugliness is.
Oh there are shit tons of guys I find unattractive and sadly they’re rarely straight but I digress. I find a face can mutate from bland to enchantingly beautiful and vice versa as you get to know somebody’s real “self”.
@@dmmoctober You’re right. Ugliness often wears beautiful disguises.
Oh that's interesting. I rarely find things that attractive about most guys, which is why it's very natural for me to be monogamous. It takes me a while to build that attraction
@@tstieber When I was young, monogamy was for faithful married people. Marriage for me was beyond any realistic notion. That changed when I was in my 70s. I might yet meet the great love of my life that I don’t have to walk away from.
@@christopherrobertson7723Well said and I agree. I just appreciate men in general in a different way. It’s a bad attitude/manners that can make anyone off putting for me.
I am very attracted to other men like me who are masculine and even "bad boys", and I'm also attracted to feminine guys too. I find feminity and masculinity very hot.
I’m really surprised because I am too a bi man and you just put all my thoughts into words! That’s crazy
I’m so glad. We don’t often get mirrored do we?
It's not so crazy, most of what he described could be categorized as the "ideal" man no matter whom was asked. We all are attracted to fit, confident, well groomed, empathetic men. People vary on the levels of attraction to less ideal features, but everyone is turned on by Ryan Reynolds.
For me it's the whole masculine enough but has a feminine side by straight acting not into flamboyant men . It hard to find someone that can hold me when I need it.
Hey thanks so much for expressing this. I'm so glad we can share these things together.
I thought my whole life that I was gay, but I recently realized that it’s not really the case. I wanna experiment and explore women too. Sometimes gay community can be too toxic and try to push you into certain directions. I wish people were more accepting and we were just individuals with our own needs and preferences and we didn’t have to label everything. I’m 28 and I think there’s a lot of things I have to explore. I enjoyed bottoming always, I still do, but I think there’s whole new other room I can explore and just be free. Labels and those small little groups really divide people into small little pieces. People are just people as simple as it sounds.