Is not as he had a choice he was born this way so treatment after another here just realized to accept his appearance . the society we live on is rough we will always judge others for the slightest things .Beauty is at the eye of the beholder not your self but when u accept your self is when you will be free to choose your path.
Dr. Boom you're no better my friend. Using the "R" word is hurtful towards my son who has Cerebral Palsy and autism. Perhaps you've completely missed the concept of this man's message. Shameful.
dude he wasn't talking about the man in the video he was defending the man in the video dumb ass. Some guy called someone else gay in the comment section
No he probaby has not. Its just the issue of us human beings not being in controll of our feelings. And you are way older than me probably so you might now, hatred finds it way the easiest. sadly. Its the negativity in the air, the pain and the frustration of the sadness.
What's interesting to me is that after the first few minutes of noticing the uniqueness of his face it quickly fades and the person behind the face comes to the forefront.
What a super speaker. This video should be shown in high schools. Our young people need to know to be true to themselves, to be real and not so fabricated.
Yep like any of us can. The things said and done to us by others, especially our peers, are very affecting especially as impressionable children, and can last in our memories our whole lives. I'm no exception. :/
I knew a kid when I was in middle school, couple grades below me. He had been born without a nose, and had gone through repeated surgeries to build one. You could tell his nose was flatter than normal, with a red line of scar tissue going down the center of it. He got bullied, by a couple specific kids I guess, because he looked so different. When I was in 10th grade (so he would have been in 8th grade by this time), I heard that one of the kids who was known to bully him had punched him in the face and broken his nose. The principal did nothing; she said they were boys just rough housing. I remember I got so angry, because I was bullied the entire time I was at that school, and she did nothing about that, either. I started walking down the block to confront her (she lived at the end of my street while I was in middle school), only to discover she had moved the previous year. I just remember how upset I was that day, and how angry for that kid I was.
I feel it might be a tad short-sighted to say that you "know" the pain he's been through when he was younger - unless, of course, you are of a similar circumstance, in which case you can just ignore my comment.
The father loved him unconditionally. Visited him in the baby ward. Didn't want to risk his sons life with surgery. Man thats such a heartwarming thing, yet so heartbreaking that his mom didnt feel the same. His brother giving him the cinfidence he needed when he was 14 was such a touching moment. Robert is a beautiful person through and through. Id give up any semblance of good looks to be loved and cherished as much as he is by his family
His father definitely had loved him unconditionally with just accepting him how he is. It’s seems like his father’s life guidelines doesn’t include people’s opinions and the view that appearance has great hold on your life. It’s very admirable. I agree. But his mother might have been true in that regard of making her sons life a little bit better by choosing to go for surgery. Yes, it was risky but I’m sure she prayed for it to go well and had only good intentions. She might had known people’s true colors to execute such a decision.
Sometimes our own suffering informs us of our biggest fears, and bad decisions can come from fear. Meaning if his mother could anticipate the pain and suffering she thought her son would have to bear, I assume she had to face her own fears in order to accept the situation.
@@marthas.4456 I don't think his brother was that young. His little sister was four years older than him and he was 14 at the time. Meaning that his brother would be at least 19.
@@josie3221 Everybody reacts in different ways. People are not inherently good or bad. I can understand how a mother may initially feel totally disconnected from such a child. It was totally unexpected.
I have no legs too man. I got in a bad accident and lost them about 7 years ago just before my 21st birthday. I’m grateful I got to keep my face. This video is very inspiring to me god bless you bro.
@@jimpanse4216 And everyone else agrees that your the worst type of person above all. What difference is it to you what he likes? Judgemental to satiate your insecurities. Not bright enough to see the bigger picture.
This is easily one of the most powerful videos that you can find on the internet and should be shown to the kids in the schools so that they can start building their world view properly in their youth.
The sad part isn't really about how he, as a baby, was left alone in the hospital room, because a baby doesn't even think of what people really are, but the sad part is that he had to receive the information that as a baby he was treated like that
By half way in, I was totally over his appearance and could completely focus on his story. Then I realized the same thing happens when I watch a talk given by stunningly beautiful people. We are by nature driven to study faces. What this video taught me was it is indeed just a study, and only after the complete experience ends do we judge. And when we judge, it is the complete experience that we are judging.
that the others can see it and you get the halo effect and people treat you better, get jobs faster, get love and friends faster, get promotions etc faster
it truly sucks that society today is still based off LOOKS and BODY SHAPE. instead of accepting for who we are or cannot control for how our body is shaped or born. so ridiculous. thank you so much for your TED talk. very encouraging on acceptance.
Sometimes my boyfriend and I just look at eachother without saying anything. When I do this, to me he becomes prettier every second. It feels like I see what's inside him.
His mom.... the way she treated him really rubbed me the wrong way. My mother abandoned me at age 3 and left me to my father to raise me, but what this guy's mom did is so much more painful. To even know that your mother contemplated those kind of thoughts is just horrid. By no means do I have a hard life like he has, my face is actually quite attractive to many women, so I've got the opposite effect. But, I feel so strongly for this man's past, I'm not usually one to shed a tear, but this man has had it rough and I respect him for taking life by the horns and playing with the cards he has been dealt. I pray that he has this kind of strength for the rest of his life.
I like Robert. Nothing more to say. He's absolutely amazing. It's cool when with the span of minutes, you can immediately look past someone's face like this, and see how cool of a person they are deep down. He's got a good heart, and a genius mind. True inspiration.
He is such a brave man . Coming out on stage in front of an audience and talking of owning your face is a task that not everyone could do if they were in this guy's place.
Why is he brave? Do you have a fear of public speaking?...people who are disabled arent brave for living their lives like everyone does. I understand the sentiment and am not "offended" im simply letting you know that your comment comes off as patronising. He could be considered brave for surviving bullying, or speaking at a tedx knowing plenty of people will see the speech he gave especially if you are scared of public speaking. However he is not brave or inspiring for getting on the stage giving his speech because of his face and/or disability. The latter suggests that just because of how his body was made that he isn't capable of living a life just like you or anyone else and needs a pat on the head for simply doing his job. Again i have no malice this is simply me trying to help you see that your comment the way you phrased it is a bit patronising. What you do with this info is up to you. Have a lovely day.
@@anitacrumblyas a disabled person, i agree. Im not brave. My other option is to drop dead. I may as well accomplish the goals i can when i can. I dont need to, or want to, be told i am brave for having conditions i was born with. It is the only life i've known, and not a choice i made. Just because im not "normal" doesnt mean im gonna lay down and give up or try to make myself invisible. That isnt brave. Thats playing with the cards youre dealt.
And this comment, unwillingly, showed the whole problem perfectly. There should not be bravery included in going onto a stage when you don't look "normal".
It's a good point though. Since yer man here was born with this predicament it is seen as an 'abnormality', but if he was like 'yeah I look like this 'cos I fought off 50 Spartans' people might be inclined to think 'this man is a super human fighter'. Which he actually is.
@@divyankgupta4178 Hi, thank you for your kind comment. I had (still have) great family and friends, who helped me through. One did say that all they could do was support, I had to do it on my own. We never know how strong we really are. x
He actually does. He's confident, he's an enticing public speaker, has good posture, and seems to own not just his face, but himself. Incredibly self-possessed. You can either act like the victim of your circumstances, or own them. Given the situation he was born into, he made the best of it. And it speaks to his character. That's what makes him attractive.
From what I understand, I think that the way we perceive attractiveness, and the way we judge likeability, are controlled by the same part of the brain. So when we meet perfect strangers, we are predisposed to like or get along with those who are better looking. However, as we get to know their personality better, we perceive people that we like as better looking, regardless of how they actually look, and if we reeeeeaally don't like someone, we tend to notice more flaws in their appearance. So as you listen to this guy and you like his perspective, your brain will start to perceive him as better looking.
*What a strong man. I cant even imagine what he must have gone through. What an inspiration.* And im sitting here being insecure about minor things like my not perfect nose. Pathetic.
Mrmaxmaxl “You don’t know what you’ve got, till it’s gone”... I used to be a neurotic as well till my health went way downhill in 11th grade, now being able to live is a blessing. It’s all perspective, wish you all the best!!! ✌️😀
I'm a hyper-realistic painter... Hearing that made me break a bit. Along with hearing how he was going to be rejected by his mother. I'm a dude, but this all me tear up. I was definitely going to paint his portrait if someone hadn't already done amazing job.
@Milena Shvedova I don't even mean this in a negative way but I mean People on Star Trek spend a lot of time painting faces to look this way every Episode whereas He could collect by just going through the motions.
_"What use is it being pretty if you can't even see it?"_ - That was some amazing bit of wisdom from his brother. Sometimes, life's most important reminders comes to us from the least expected places.
@@manuelp7472 That was his parents choice from when he was four.... He didn't contradict himself. His parents made the call to have the surgery with 25% chance of death when he was four. Then he was given the choice for an additional surgery when he was 14.
Yea, sure, make yourself feel better by telling yourself that. But I'm 100% sure you would never date someone with a deformity like that unless it was out of pity. After a couple years you'll see an attractive guy at work that is very respectful, confident, kind and has a gorgeous face and then you'll wake up beside this guy one morning thinking, man, what it would be like to be with that other guy. Of course these feelings won't be without the feeling of guilt. Of course this depends on the lady, if she is attractive than she has options, if she isn't than she'll settle.
@@magistank5445 No, just realistic. You can dream about things all you want but with relationships failing at 85% and marriages divorcing over 50%.. Humans are not made to be monogamous and having an unattractive mate = increased odds of failure. World isn't a fairy tale, many folks wrap their heads into these thoughts that things will be magical and they are when the relationship is new. But having the same meal every night, gets boring. Hence why "Relationships need work" and if you lose the strong love, you may lose the drive. Life is a lot darker than you want to believe.
sacr3 Lack of faith in a relationship is one of the biggest things that causes them to fail. You can’t go into something expecting it to fail and have it succeed. It’s not hard to be open-minded.
+I4mLegend I beg to differ, sir. Unless we've been brought up to judge people in that way, we won't tend to do it. If we are in fact brought up that way, once we're old enough to think for ourselves we can change that if we choose to and see the equal beauty within everyone
People will always feel more safe and welcome around people who look alike. For example with animals that is important because if offspring looked different that is most likely because of genetic mutation which, in most cases is not helpful.
I'm an artist and I drew many portraits and I accept people's faces but I never drew my portrait because I never accepted myself! This time I'll draw my own face and I'll accept myself as it is!
Lazarus Chandler most parents. His mother is definitly the odd one out. I've known fathers who denied their children because they were not their preferered gender, or even one who parted with his pregnent girlfriend because the the baby was devolving a bit weird in the wound (kid turned out fine, but dad had already left), I know of fathers who had decided raising a child is not a "mans" job and barely know their kids. And likewise, seen mothers be assholes to their kid too. however I wouldn't argue mothers or fathers being more or less likely to understand their kids or do a better job than the other. People can breed and regardless of their role in parenthood can be giant assholes.
I honestly think he looks fine. After 1 minute, you don't even notice anything anymore. I absolutely love his spirit and would love to be counted amongst his friends!
By the time this video ended he just looked like a guy talking on a stage. Amazing how your brains perception of someone changes the more you get to know them.
Unbelievably strong and courageous man, he’s a far more rare and more beautiful human being on the inside than you’d ever find amongst the popular and fashionable people considered ‘beautiful’ on the outside.
I just appreciated my face more, and I think he has a heart of gold and i Want to thank him for sharing his struggles with a profound sense of Courage.
He got me when he said " Don't look away from the mirror so quickly." I'm always criticizing my appearance and I sometimes avoid looking at mirrors to avoid my anxiety. I appreciate this so much. You made me appreciate myself.
Me too! Robert has helped me accept the face that is now 80 years old, that made me feel like a stranger that I didn't recognise when I looked in the mirror, because I don't feel any different inside to what I was when I was young.
When I was young, my parents were pretty horrible to me.. and as I grew up I was very pretty.. I didn't know that or believe it when everyone told me that. When I looked in the mirror I saw every flaw that I perceived myself as having. I was carrying so much pain and rejection that I seriously never saw any good looks at all!! One guy told me when I was about 30, that my looks were intimidating! Another guy told me that I was the dream girl that men dream about but never can imagine how beautiful a dream girl could be? Huh? I didn't even know what to say! I didn't say anything! So really, looks are completely subjective!
I honestly just think this fella looks really cool. It may be the wrong way to look at things but I genuinely find it so cool to see people who look unique. In a world where everyone is striving to look 'attractive' and often use extensive beauty routines that leave many looking very similar, I find it so refreshing to see people who do not adhere to the 'norm' and have their own identity. You're all beautiful in a way, you were born to look the way you do and that's something so very precious.
Same. In a way i'm trying to look at myself too and think more like "if not attractive i look at least cool and different". I don't have facial deformities but for example acne makes me feel like i look different even though its pretty common, but still. In a way i look at my acne (and other things, like body hair as a female) and think "it's something a bit different and cool in a way, if not attractive". Why would i want to look attractive, if i can look interesting instead?
I like his voice.. I have studied vitamins and minerals... Especially in pregnancy.. Deficiencies cause sicknesses One major deficiency in birth defects is Folic acid in the early 1st trimester .. Before becoming pregnant..benefit to pay for a complete vitamin and mineral panel That is complete..Iron & B 12 is also very important ❤❤❤❤❤ God bless You all !!
As someone who also has a facial abnormality from a fractured skull at 3yo, I can say with great understanding, this man is friggin outstanding and so is his message.
And I bet you are beautiful, too. Not “sympathy” beautiful-but truly beautiful. God bless both of your hearts to know beyond doubt how loved & how purposed by God you both are. I bet you are!🙏❤️🙏
@@EllaArmstrong25 i have some advice 1) Don't see it as a demerit. It is a blessing on disguise as it helps you sort out the real friends from the fake ones. 2) Know your self worth. Your self worth is created by your hard work alone. A crumpled note still acts as currency so humans are worth a lot more than that with disfigurement. 3) Start 'journalling'
6ine9ix right, his parents and family sound nightmarish, so I think he would’ve turned out the same. Then again he could not have. Then that raises the idea that if his family were fantastic people, and he had that tumor, he would turn out to be the opposite of them somehow and be a horrid person. Idk. I’m stoned
@Josip so is it better to dwell on a collective pity party? He is not playing the victim even if he rightfully could, which is what I perceive and highlight. Of course he was bullied, of course he has suffered and most certain of course I wouldn't like to have gone through that myself. I actually doubt I would endure such trial. That's why I respect him.
@@randomguy5189Then those are the not the people you should surround yourself with. If they're so quick to judge and reject all of you because of your face, are they really worth it ?
Umm but he does have a abnormal face, that’s like saying “I don’t see color” you should see color and respect that but not act like it doesn’t exist. You shouldn’t degrade his face but understand that it is abnormal.
@@jayquelen I think what he meant is that when you enter the video, you of course notice at first sight his appearance. But at the end of the video you just forget about his deformities and just see a face like one another
why do mother cats and dogs reject some of their offspring? It's natural eugenics. Discarding the defective so defects aren't passed on and are weeded out. Like boot camp, life is a test. People test those in their group to see if they are trustworthy and have the courage to fight to protect the group if they are attacked. Like are they willing to defend their family, their mom, if a criminal comes along to do her harm? Why firefighters are tested. You don't want to be in a fire when you discover that your fellow firefighter is a useless coward. That's why people seem mean. They are testing you. Some people obviously are sociopaths and psychopaths and simply enjoy hurting people. But that's an anomaly, not the norm
@@ladythiep2811 There are mothers that accept their deformed babies and love them ... but his mother is a low quality woman, you can tell by the divorce threats to her man too, not just the rejection of her baby because of his face ... And I've seen someone with a face deformed way worse then this one
Yeah because they haven’t been tainted by the cruel ways of humanity yet. They’re still somewhat innocent. It’s when they hit middle school is when it all starts... Let the jadedness commence!
I am a 23 year old male (5'6") living with bdd. I used to hate getting my pictures taken, missing out on memories because I felt embarrassed that I'd ruin the picture and I can tell you from my experience, I feel my cope is helping others. I can't change who I am but I can change how I think. I've been getting closer to God and noticed my anxiety about my looks went down because I am too busy helping people. He also gave me confidence going to stores and I can honestly say the change in my self esteem made me realize looks truly don't matter it's all about confidence, not arrogance.
Finally, it’s not a model saying to you love yourself. Edit: Don’t get me wrong I just don’t see a lot of these videos. It’s usually the other way around.
Your comment deserves more recognition cuz models whoever already confident because of their looks can never understand how it feels like being insecure about your face and stuff! But this guy legit giving his ounce of confidence to everyone around him! His personality is ✨lit✨
I'm very lucky. I like this guys telling his story. For some reason, my Dad would always make a habit of greeting and saying hello to people in society that he knows would have been shunned. He would talk with me first as a child and say , "Lets go make that guy happy, and treat him with respect." He would tell me if, as long as I was smiling and polite, if I was curious I could ask some what happened instead of stare at them. But it quickly became a thing where, from my fathers guidance, I just learned to except and support people, no matter what. I think my Dad taught me how to be rich with Love.
Many blessings to Robert. I know his mother loved him, but she was trying to comprehend what she was dealing with. You always have to try and help your children so that they have a chance at life.
@Flower Power His influence would span his lifetime, he doesn't need the Ted Talk to be somebody but just being a positive example after being born with a physical deformity makes him amazing in my book. Lots of people these days are depressed and suicidal for a lot less.
Yeah..indeed... i know what he is talking about..i also never experienced motherly love..and also fight to keep alive until today..this guy is a 1000 times stronger than i ever could be!
Totally agree! After a few minutes of listening to his story and seeing the way he presents himself, you really stop beginning to see the deformity as profoundly as you did when you first started the TED talk. It's really telling: we judge people at first glance, and even though we know we shouldn't, we can't help it.
When I see the wedding ring on Robert’s hand, I know he owns his happiness as well. Thanks to his big brothers’ and sister’s votes to bring him home that day!
@@buffaloben15golf88 For loving somebody who has a facial deformity? I don't think that alone defines a person as "good" or "bad".To imply that their partners must be pure of heart simply for loving somebody who isn't conventially attractive is kind of an insult to those with deformities and disabilities.
You're so right. Children when I was young were so cruel due to the ignorance their elders taught them. We're all different in some way, let's celebrate that.
The more Robert talked, his imperfections became less and less noticable. He seems like a truly awesome and honorable man.. Kudos to his brother for helping him make an extremely difficult choice : )
that's what happens when you get to know someone: your first visual impressions tend to improve if you like the personality behind it. The reverse works too, though I think a bit lesser.
@@ddehggial9932 I agree.. Years ago I met a new guy at work who was very good looking... at first. The more he showed his personality, the less attractive he became.
5 minutes into your talk, and I realised your face looked perfectly normal to me. I had a cancer removed on my nose a few years ago, it left a scare, but the cancer was gone. I owned that scare, it tells a story.
@@user-cg1kk7ip5z all of the crimes, the narcissist & other psychological issues, the lies, the tweets, the justifications, the bad fake tan that’s been applied since 1976,, his refusal to change anything he’s made up in your head including the combover...
i started crying when he said his brothers and sisters all voted yes for him to come home.. thats so sad kids always are so pure in love and we should learn from them we shouldnt be judged on our looks we are all in human bodys but we are all souls wanting joy
@@GraftedOliveBranch ☺😄 wow .... thank you! This warmed my heart, much appreciated. Oh yes, I have such empathy for Robert's life. I don't know if I could of ended up as well as Robert has. 👏👏👏👏👌💯 I could see that there's still unresolved hurt he is going through, perhaps. Name calling, the staring/reactions and maybe, even the "vote" 🙁 Best wishes to you and thank you, again. We need more positive people like you ♥️
As someone with a bit similar experience, i can tell he's holding back a lot of "you guys don't know how easy you got it in life" comments... But honestly, in the end it really turns out for the better. You build a super strong character and you can instantly dodge assholes and shallow people from your life ;)
Take note everyone, this is a true Australian attitude. I would sit beside this guy at a campfire any day..doing that I think we would laugh at the silliness of vanity and be relieved that it’s hopefully for the rest of us… just a phase. There is no seat at my campfire but for the Robert’s amongst us. Thanks mate.
Why is everyone calling him attractive? He is literally trying to tell you that looks aren't what makes you a good person. But here you are complementing his looks out of all things.
Same here. Stopped minding about my face and about all other faces too a long time ago. Bu always felt i was blessed when i see a hungry person and tears swell up.
My dude really doesn’t look that bad. He just looks like a boxer. But I have a massive amount of admiration for his outlook on life though. This man is a hero.
Years ago, I was involved in an accident, that split my forehead open. It was tough to look at myself in the mirror. The philosophical truth in Robert's talk hits home. I am encouraged by his bravery.
I fell running up outdoor steps and split my forehead open on Christmas Eve (almost 3 weeks ago). I look in the mirror and pray every day that I completely heal and that my expressions will return to “function.” Coming across this Ted Talk today was a God-send for me because I was losing patience and hope. I hope you had a great outcome from your injury. I am encouraged to put my accident and scar into perspective. It could have been so much worse. What an inspiration Robert is.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
This man is free in a way that many people will never know.
100%
Is not as he had a choice he was born this way so treatment after another here just realized to accept his appearance . the society we live on is rough we will always judge others for the slightest things .Beauty is at the eye of the beholder not your self but when u accept your self is when you will be free to choose your path.
@@roadwariors7853 He had a choice. That's the whole point.
@@roadwariors7853 Dude... spelling and grammar. Your comment hurts my brain. Even your name contains a spelling error.
@@paddor looks like he proved one of his points though LOL we judge others for the slightest things
I wish this man nothing but a lifetime of happiness and peace!
Jason Gafar same
Dr. Boom you're no better my friend. Using the "R" word is hurtful towards my son who has Cerebral Palsy and autism. Perhaps you've completely missed the concept of this man's message. Shameful.
dude he wasn't talking about the man in the video he was defending the man in the video dumb ass. Some guy called someone else gay in the comment section
No he probaby has not. Its just the issue of us human beings not being in controll of our feelings.
And you are way older than me probably so you might now, hatred finds it way the easiest. sadly.
Its the negativity in the air, the pain and the frustration of the sadness.
ugh, you could have wished for a normal face for him!
What's interesting to me is that after the first few minutes of noticing the uniqueness of his face it quickly fades and the person behind the face comes to the forefront.
You said it
ikr. thats so true man!
That's exactly what I said. I realized I didn't even notice his face as he continued his speech.
He is beautiful inside and out.
Exactly!
What a super speaker.
This video should be shown in high schools.
Our young people need to know to be true to themselves, to be real and not so fabricated.
Such a great idea.
He needs to write a book. Please write a book.
I got choked up when he spoke about his siblings voting to keep him. Children are incredible.
That one line gave me so much hope
I mean, most siblings would do exactly the same.
I mean, only if they have tegridy’ they wouldn’t do it without no tegridy’
@@josephw.pironti6776 Integrity
Naw bro tegridy
He may put humor about it, but I know and I can feel the pain he been through when he was younger
Yep like any of us can. The things said and done to us by others, especially our peers, are very affecting especially as impressionable children, and can last in our memories our whole lives. I'm no exception. :/
tall32guy do mdma therapy its mdmazing
I knew a kid when I was in middle school, couple grades below me.
He had been born without a nose, and had gone through repeated surgeries to build one.
You could tell his nose was flatter than normal, with a red line of scar tissue going down the center of it. He got bullied, by a couple specific kids I guess, because he looked so different.
When I was in 10th grade (so he would have been in 8th grade by this time), I heard that one of the kids who was known to bully him had punched him in the face and broken his nose.
The principal did nothing; she said they were boys just rough housing. I remember I got so angry, because I was bullied the entire time I was at that school, and she did nothing about that, either.
I started walking down the block to confront her (she lived at the end of my street while I was in middle school), only to discover she had moved the previous year.
I just remember how upset I was that day, and how angry for that kid I was.
@@scottcantdance804 i cant believe you did that to that poor kid
I feel it might be a tad short-sighted to say that you "know" the pain he's been through when he was younger - unless, of course, you are of a similar circumstance, in which case you can just ignore my comment.
And then there’s people who get one pimple and start contemplating their entire existence.. Salute to this man. What a strong soul
Ey
I legit came here after watching your Kodak video
So I guess you got his in your recommendation too
BlackySpeakz what’s up! Folks who like real music appreciate this stuff too. Respect.
*NOW*
The father loved him unconditionally. Visited him in the baby ward. Didn't want to risk his sons life with surgery. Man thats such a heartwarming thing, yet so heartbreaking that his mom didnt feel the same.
His brother giving him the cinfidence he needed when he was 14 was such a touching moment.
Robert is a beautiful person through and through.
Id give up any semblance of good looks to be loved and cherished as much as he is by his family
His father definitely had loved him unconditionally with just accepting him how he is. It’s seems like his father’s life guidelines doesn’t include people’s opinions and the view that appearance has great hold on your life. It’s very admirable. I agree. But his mother might have been true in that regard of making her sons life a little bit better by choosing to go for surgery. Yes, it was risky but I’m sure she prayed for it to go well and had only good intentions. She might had known people’s true colors to execute such a decision.
his mom was right. She might've loved him unconditionally too but knows how disadvantaged he'd be in society without the surgery.
Only a man can love other's unconditionally
And his father's love had passed on to him, and now he passes it on to the viewers to be able to love themselves
Sometimes our own suffering informs us of our biggest fears, and bad decisions can come from fear. Meaning if his mother could anticipate the pain and suffering she thought her son would have to bear, I assume she had to face her own fears in order to accept the situation.
"What is the point of having a beautiful face if you can't see it and be proud of it" -Robert Hoge's brother
Often little children are wiser than adults.
Profound and made me tear up a little when he said that. The truth sets us free and is the most beautiful and heart-moving aspect in life for me.
@@Dank_204 damn me too man not lying
@@marthas.4456 I don't think his brother was that young. His little sister was four years older than him and he was 14 at the time. Meaning that his brother would be at least 19.
"What use is it being pretty if he can't even see himself?"* but yes -Robert Hoge's brother
I'm glad his mother eventually came around and all, but how bout giving some kudos to the Dad for loving his son unconditionally from the start!!
his mom sounds really mean. i don't want to judge too much but wow.
Society says otherwise. Dads ftw
Dads always got your back. Even if your wrong
It was the same for my dad.
@@josie3221 Everybody reacts in different ways. People are not inherently good or bad. I can understand how a mother may initially feel totally disconnected from such a child. It was totally unexpected.
Every face is pleasing when you love the person behind it.
❤️🙏
That's just warm sounding bul... nonsense.
He loves the person he is behind the face
@@user-qe6rp9dt5f I don't think it is bul.... nonsense. Think again and really good this time. You can do it.
I am a person who only see my flaws when I look in the mirror. it's so bad that this man is so strong than most of us. this man is a true inspiration.
As a Firefighter in New York I was burnt down my face and head... Thank you for this video.God Bless you.🙏
Jim Morrison God bless and heal you. May you receive strength and grace each day to live and overcome every challenge in Jesus name.
God Bless you. Keep strong
you’re a hero
@@wokeupnew omg thankU but nooo i was doing my job. I know the hazards of my job and I chose to do it because I love it..god bless U!!!
You have amazing courage and strength. May your life be full of happiness and blessings. Thank you for what you do.
This man had a wonderful caring father who didn't give a damn about what people thought. Well done Dad
It is easy to say this, but it's another thing when you become a bully of the entire world, or when you see your son being bullied...
he can act like he doesnt care, but the truth is he does BUT he`s living with it
@@lavieja7938 exactly, its unavoidable
Well his dad Just had the courage to live with his son not having any surgery at all.
That attitude matters when you have a weird looking baby.
if thy said no tough for him to bring home
I have no legs too man. I got in a bad accident and lost them about 7 years ago just before my 21st birthday. I’m grateful I got to keep my face. This video is very inspiring to me god bless you bro.
Rome N stay strong brother
May Allah bless you with inner peace and strength. I wish you the best! Allah Is with those who are patient.
and God bless you too Rome N
Rome N lol at first i was sorry for you, but when i saw the videos you liked, i thought, better you than someone useful/with a working brain😅
@@jimpanse4216 And everyone else agrees that your the worst type of person above all. What difference is it to you what he likes? Judgemental to satiate your insecurities. Not bright enough to see the bigger picture.
This is easily one of the most powerful videos that you can find on the internet and should be shown to the kids in the schools so that they can start building their world view properly in their youth.
Yes absolutely
Totally agree kid today need this guy and his values more than ever
Can we appreciate how great his speaking is? His voice and confidence and everything
I was about to comment the exact same thing.. but u where first ❤️
I was thinking the same while listening to him
Absolutely
You can learn that in a Speech class.
Absolutely. Love his perfectly appropriate humor as well.
After seeing that photo of him as a baby, it's heart breaking to imagine that poor little guy all alone in the hospital with no visitors. 😢
The sad part isn't really about how he, as a baby, was left alone in the hospital room, because a baby doesn't even think of what people really are, but the sad part is that he had to receive the information that as a baby he was treated like that
Wrz2e joe mama
I honestly cried looking at your comment
@@peratattica I just wanna see his mom with a straight face saying this
Alessasso π danger or knowledge, that’s deep
"I was a grade 9 boy, the worst possible form of humanity"
Senior quote material
This is kinda ironic for me since in my country a grade 9 is the highest grade you can get in your GCSE exams lol.
@sebbo Bro I only started revising today 😂. If we work hard I'm sure we can do well or at least pass.
@@crystaljefferphetamine
how'd you do?
@@bonniejunk I'm assuming they didn't have to do it because of lockdown lol
mata gee grade 9 means year 9 in this context
By half way in, I was totally over his appearance and could completely focus on his story. Then I realized the same thing happens when I watch a talk given by stunningly beautiful people. We are by nature driven to study faces. What this video taught me was it is indeed just a study, and only after the complete experience ends do we judge. And when we judge, it is the complete experience that we are judging.
You hit the nail in the head!!
Great comment
People who embrace their insecurities are the strongest kind...
Literally
ROBERT ARE YOU ABLE TO DO LIVE VIDEO FOR ME JUST ASKING FOR REAL MONEY AND THE FANCYFACE
@@christinainezbrisbo7264 tf?
💯% true. To realise this takes a lifetime and practice it takes few more for the most.
I have embraced my awesome cankles as a slimmer person!!!!!!!! They are hilarious!
Didn’t plan to watch the whole thing but god damn this guy is a great speaker
Same😤
Me too
Hardly... keeps stuttering and needs to drink some water, keeps smacking his tongue...
aprilblenk same haha
@@user-tr2dh4xx6u omg I can't stop hearing the tongue noise now whYYY
"what use is it being pretty if he can't see himself?" that, is pure wisdom coming from a teenager.
I practically cheered when he quoted his brother...
Yes
that the others can see it and you get the halo effect and people treat you better, get jobs faster, get love and friends faster, get promotions etc faster
@@eskaban_edits_beats_and_more not when he's blind lol
Its not for yourself being pretty but for other people to have a better altitude and treat you better
it truly sucks that society today is still based off LOOKS and BODY SHAPE. instead of accepting for who we are or cannot control for how our body is shaped or born. so ridiculous. thank you so much for your TED talk. very encouraging on acceptance.
it's how our brains have evolved to work, aint nobody's fault
@@Whisky-Glass-Lass yea but you’re expecting too much from the average person
It has always been like this, and it's only natural. Nature is just cruel.
Not necessarily. Most pekple thar make fun of others appearance are insecure and it happens to be alot of people are insecure @@TAiCkIne-TOrESIve
Lil bro count your calories 😭
"and they sat around the kitchen table and voted if I should come home" jesus.... this poor man, and yet he displays such stoic strength
yehnahyeh
He's tried in fire
stoic? he seems incredibly emotionally intelligent to me
I'm impressed that he doesn't tear up just by saying that out loud. How horrible
@Wim True, I haven't noticed
When you think about that kinda thing over and over throughought your whole life it no longer upsets you.
If you look long enough at anyone's face you will see the person behind it, it's beautiful
Why are you laughing then????
That's a lovely poetic philosophy. :)
So I stared at my mums face for 10 minutes and she thought I’m Going crazy .
Sometimes my boyfriend and I just look at eachother without saying anything. When I do this, to me he becomes prettier every second. It feels like I see what's inside him.
@@OP-hu7ve noobmaster69?
he actually looks badass to me. Respect !
I was looking for a comment like this! He looks like a badass alien or lotr ork!
He should do some acting
yeah, he could probably be a memorable actor if he wanted, but the sad thing is most agencies would probably only cast him as a villain or monster.
Right on
I agree he looks badass. He reminds me of the picture of the Doom Guy in the bottom toolbar in the original game. It's a good look actually.
HIS DAD WAS A REAL ONE
"I was a grade 9 boy, the worst possible form of humanity"
I love his humor
I'm a boy in 9th grade and I can honestly agree
he really is wonderful :)
but his realness is truly impeccable
So true
omg I thought you said tumor that would've been bad
The way he stutters the part about his mom...you can tell it’s still painful
Madison Christenson he just has a stutter, but i don’t disagree
I stutter 😓
unkown u spelt unknown wrong
unkown same dude it sucks
His mom.... the way she treated him really rubbed me the wrong way. My mother abandoned me at age 3 and left me to my father to raise me, but what this guy's mom did is so much more painful. To even know that your mother contemplated those kind of thoughts is just horrid. By no means do I have a hard life like he has, my face is actually quite attractive to many women, so I've got the opposite effect. But, I feel so strongly for this man's past, I'm not usually one to shed a tear, but this man has had it rough and I respect him for taking life by the horns and playing with the cards he has been dealt. I pray that he has this kind of strength for the rest of his life.
I like Robert. Nothing more to say. He's absolutely amazing. It's cool when with the span of minutes, you can immediately look past someone's face like this, and see how cool of a person they are deep down. He's got a good heart, and a genius mind. True inspiration.
|"Nothing more to say"
Proceeds to write paragraph saying more.
Honestly I thought his baby picture looked like a blob fish. That's not an insult though.
I like him too... he's well spoken... and a great voice, great thoughts, great heart.
TheRadiantDehd Very well said. You said everything we all want to say!
@@thehonestorange713 I think that is him. Because he said "my baby's fist" so I assumed that was not his baby
He is such a brave man . Coming out on stage in front of an audience and talking of owning your face is a task that not everyone could do if they were in this guy's place.
Why is he brave? Do you have a fear of public speaking?...people who are disabled arent brave for living their lives like everyone does. I understand the sentiment and am not "offended" im simply letting you know that your comment comes off as patronising. He could be considered brave for surviving bullying, or speaking at a tedx knowing plenty of people will see the speech he gave especially if you are scared of public speaking. However he is not brave or inspiring for getting on the stage giving his speech because of his face and/or disability. The latter suggests that just because of how his body was made that he isn't capable of living a life just like you or anyone else and needs a pat on the head for simply doing his job. Again i have no malice this is simply me trying to help you see that your comment the way you phrased it is a bit patronising. What you do with this info is up to you. Have a lovely day.
@@anitacrumblyas a disabled person, i agree.
Im not brave. My other option is to drop dead. I may as well accomplish the goals i can when i can.
I dont need to, or want to, be told i am brave for having conditions i was born with. It is the only life i've known, and not a choice i made. Just because im not "normal" doesnt mean im gonna lay down and give up or try to make myself invisible. That isnt brave. Thats playing with the cards youre dealt.
And this comment, unwillingly, showed the whole problem perfectly. There should not be bravery included in going onto a stage when you don't look "normal".
I couldn’t do it with my face lol
@@kdizzle901I was gonna say the same thing
his dad is awesome. 6:28: "why would we risk our son dying for the pride of appearance..."
DAMN straight. I have a high level of respect for that.
Sang Nguyen That's because parents love you for you, not for what you look like- whatever your appearance is, you will always be loved
+Sam Works not her mom, she rather had a beautiful barbie girl
exactly. no force in the universe is as powerful as the unconditional love of your mom or dad.
his dad knew the right choice from the beginning. the mother was weak.
This man understands confidence in 4 dimensions.
Looking at the painted portrait that was done of his face, he looked like a Roman emperor that won the war with battle scars.. A leader..
He's a leader to me.
It's a good point though. Since yer man here was born with this predicament it is seen as an 'abnormality', but if he was like 'yeah I look like this 'cos I fought off 50 Spartans' people might be inclined to think 'this man is a super human fighter'. Which he actually is.
How true!
@Diamond Life ; I did too, it struck me as totally on point.
Bro, this legend had his skull cleaved during his actual war and still came back to own it!
Salute to his doctor brethren lol.
My very first love was handicapped, with slight facial deformities, he was the most beautiful human…Bryan was his name, unforgettable first love.
What happened?
Bragging how SPECIAL you are??? Why do you feel the need to tell everybody this?
"Im done being the doctor's canvas"
*Fukin Powerful*
Thanks for the insight John lemon
Thanks for the insight John lemon
Lemon
John
Lemon
This guy is AWESOME! I am "disfigured". I was in a gas explosion when I was 13 years old. I LOVED this..."own your face". Total respect. xx
Face To Face With Shell 💔
@@rachaelnwaoha3543 Hi, thank you...it's all good now...showed me how strong I actually can be. xx
Its awesome, i can sense a strong person behind your comment
@@divyankgupta4178 Hi, thank you for your kind comment. I had (still have) great family and friends, who helped me through. One did say that all they could do was support, I had to do it on my own. We never know how strong we really are. x
Appearance doesn’t matter, it’s all in how you present yourself! Although I suppose there is always going to be assholes out there
Is it just me but does he get more handsome the more he talks? I have the highest respect for confidence and demeanor.
I had the same feeling
He actually does. He's confident, he's an enticing public speaker, has good posture, and seems to own not just his face, but himself. Incredibly self-possessed. You can either act like the victim of your circumstances, or own them. Given the situation he was born into, he made the best of it. And it speaks to his character. That's what makes him attractive.
U cappin
I swear . I think it’s his intelligence and confidence that makes him really attractive 🥰
Official MB Fùtbol He’s really not physically but his confidence is.
I clicked on the wrong video, but I am glad I stayed. Very inspiring to own our face, body & life. It is our choice to appreciate you we are.
Honestly, the longer you look at him and watch him talk, the more normal he looks. You see under it really quickly.
Same here, I don’t even see the face as an issue after watching for some minutes.
“Doctors Canvas” lolz 😂
From what I understand, I think that the way we perceive attractiveness, and the way we judge likeability, are controlled by the same part of the brain. So when we meet perfect strangers, we are predisposed to like or get along with those who are better looking. However, as we get to know their personality better, we perceive people that we like as better looking, regardless of how they actually look, and if we reeeeeaally don't like someone, we tend to notice more flaws in their appearance. So as you listen to this guy and you like his perspective, your brain will start to perceive him as better looking.
@@moderatesoprano9562 this sound very accurate, thanks for give me a new perspective of the beauty
Probably because your brain connects good characteristics with this face.
You took the words right out of my mouth. 💪🏽
People like him are needed in this world more than ever
*Except me*
this is what real beauty looks like, truly.... but its not what the media feeds us because it doesn't sell. really sad how the world is
yep. we all need a good laugh!
Very true..
For what?
*What a strong man. I cant even imagine what he must have gone through. What an inspiration.*
And im sitting here being insecure about minor things like my not perfect nose. Pathetic.
Mrmaxmaxl “You don’t know what you’ve got, till it’s gone”... I used to be a neurotic as well till my health went way downhill in 11th grade, now being able to live is a blessing. It’s all perspective, wish you all the best!!! ✌️😀
Relax boy don't let media to make u feel insecure..write your own story.!!
Mrmaxmaxl same I was thinking about my couple extra kg of my body
me too brother
I love crooked or slightly big noses on men wayyy more than 'perfect' noses. I have a tiny nose so I love when a guy has a nose with character 😁
We all looks like same , but he is the unique one.
what an great achievement for him.
"I didn't think I would be ever worth painting, but I was sick of being the doctor's canvas". What an immensely strong statement!
Unbelievable...
I'm a hyper-realistic painter... Hearing that made me break a bit. Along with hearing how he was going to be rejected by his mother. I'm a dude, but this all me tear up. I was definitely going to paint his portrait if someone hadn't already done amazing job.
@@adamgalvan5285 cry all u want, us men have emotions too
I agree a very powerful statement
@Milena Shvedova I don't even mean this in a negative way but I mean People on Star Trek spend a lot of time painting faces to look this way every Episode whereas He could collect by just going through the motions.
His Brother had Wisdom that money can't buy.
dEeP
weird capitals
@@orb_1504 why you do my pseudo philosophical man like that 😂
I actually said the same thing his brother said as soon as he mentioned the operation risk lol
crazy thing is that a commercial of south bank is in the background, wtf
_"What use is it being pretty if you can't even see it?"_ - That was some amazing bit of wisdom from his brother. Sometimes, life's most important reminders comes to us from the least expected places.
This was the most profound piece of his story to me!! Wow!
I agree with Chris. That statement was very sobering moment. That's all I would need to hear. The face remains a is.
Yet he thought it is better to take the chance of dying by 1/4 than being blind. He makes little sense.
@@manuelp7472 That was his parents choice from when he was four....
He didn't contradict himself. His parents made the call to have the surgery with 25% chance of death when he was four. Then he was given the choice for an additional surgery when he was 14.
I liked that statement too. It has a lot of wisdom and power behind it.
Can't stop crying: so much pain and suffering... and still a strong man with healthy soul. God bless you, my friend.
He stands and talks with confidence, that's attractive in itself!!
Yea, sure, make yourself feel better by telling yourself that. But I'm 100% sure you would never date someone with a deformity like that unless it was out of pity.
After a couple years you'll see an attractive guy at work that is very respectful, confident, kind and has a gorgeous face and then you'll wake up beside this guy one morning thinking, man, what it would be like to be with that other guy. Of course these feelings won't be without the feeling of guilt.
Of course this depends on the lady, if she is attractive than she has options, if she isn't than she'll settle.
@@sacr3 you sound like a very sad person.
@@magistank5445 No, just realistic. You can dream about things all you want but with relationships failing at 85% and marriages divorcing over 50%.. Humans are not made to be monogamous and having an unattractive mate = increased odds of failure.
World isn't a fairy tale, many folks wrap their heads into these thoughts that things will be magical and they are when the relationship is new.
But having the same meal every night, gets boring. Hence why "Relationships need work" and if you lose the strong love, you may lose the drive.
Life is a lot darker than you want to believe.
sacr3 Lack of faith in a relationship is one of the biggest things that causes them to fail. You can’t go into something expecting it to fail and have it succeed. It’s not hard to be open-minded.
LOL no its not. stop trying to coddle your superficial tendencies
Honestly, he seems like a really cool guy and his personality completely overcomes his appearance in my opinion.
Sadly judging people by looks and not by character is human nature.
+I4mLegend I beg to differ, sir. Unless we've been brought up to judge people in that way, we won't tend to do it. If we are in fact brought up that way, once we're old enough to think for ourselves we can change that if we choose to and see the equal beauty within everyone
People will always feel more safe and welcome around people who look alike. For example with animals that is important because if offspring looked different that is most likely because of genetic mutation which, in most cases is not helpful.
You're right. I was so captivated by his personality, that i completely forgot about his looks after a few minutes
That's what I thought too.He looks like a pretty cool guy despite his face.
Finally the RUclips algorithm presented me with something worth watching.
I know. I can finally appreciate the random videos on my RUclips recommendations now.
😂
TedX presentations are really good. It always give me a different human perspective on things -- and most of all I learn - smile.
Evan Tituana A comment that is very accurate
He may not look conventional, but there's something really cool about his appearance. Excellent speech
@Vinay Kumar Nope he is not Kane.
He looks like a Orc
What you are saying is positive Lookism.
Don’t you think that’s cynical?
@@iche9373 Yeah, you might have a point there
There's something cute about it. Not beautiful, that's for sure, but cute.
he does kind of look like a bad ass comic book character
greyson rhodes A Rob Liefield drawing
he kinda looks like the sand dude from spider man
Marv from sin city
I was thinking the same.
Haha dude I was thinking the same thing. This guy looks like a super villain! xD
I'm an artist and I drew many portraits and I accept people's faces but I never drew my portrait because I never accepted myself! This time I'll draw my own face and I'll accept myself as it is!
💜
Thats beautiful!!! :)
Love this idea.
WOW ! COOL ~* own it ~*
💓💓💓
What a man! Intelligence, humorous, brave, kind hearted and all that and more shows in his face, which I think is just right.
You have a similar heart, huge and special. God bless you
Dear Robert you are perfect the way you are and God bless you unconditionally 🎉❤😊 loved from northeast India
He is lucky to have such a loving father. Hats off to the dad
Dad is a hero
and his siblings.
For sure. A child shall lead us.
I feel like most dads are caring and loving for their child and will always understand and accept them.
Lazarus Chandler most parents. His mother is definitly the odd one out.
I've known fathers who denied their children because they were not their preferered gender, or even one who parted with his pregnent girlfriend because the the baby was devolving a bit weird in the wound (kid turned out fine, but dad had already left), I know of fathers who had decided raising a child is not a "mans" job and barely know their kids.
And likewise, seen mothers be assholes to their kid too.
however I wouldn't argue mothers or fathers being more or less likely to understand their kids or do a better job than the other. People can breed and regardless of their role in parenthood can be giant assholes.
I honestly think he looks fine. After 1 minute, you don't even notice anything anymore. I absolutely love his spirit and would love to be counted amongst his friends!
Yeah he's a very cool guy,would be a great friend
He’s handsome to me. :)
A noble sentiment but I don't believe you
@@theblindvisionary Why would I lie?
I noticed briefly then stopped paying attention.
By the time this video ended he just looked like a guy talking on a stage. Amazing how your brains perception of someone changes the more you get to know them.
false. i never cared.. just wanted to see what was going on with the comments.. only thing worth noting was the uncanny valley thing
he still looks like a Klingon
Unbelievably strong and courageous man, he’s a far more rare and more beautiful human being on the inside than you’d ever find amongst the popular and fashionable people considered ‘beautiful’ on the outside.
He’s married and with an 11 year old daughter actually! So happy for him ❤️
nice
I am not surprised at all.
@@Top10herb then get lost and gap hard
Awwww 🥺🥺🥺that’s good to hear.
I dont wanna be that one guy but does she get the same deformity as him?
Sir you probably saved countless depressed teens that are confused in life. All I see is a hero🙏
I wish i could have liked you comment many times.
I just appreciated my face more, and
I think he has a heart of gold and i
Want to thank him
for sharing his struggles with a profound sense of
Courage.
Definitely! He did a great job :)
Not only teens, believe me!
@@sunnya.2665 I
He got me when he said " Don't look away from the mirror so quickly." I'm always criticizing my appearance and I sometimes avoid looking at mirrors to avoid my anxiety. I appreciate this so much. You made me appreciate myself.
Same, totally the same
49 years old and I don't really know what I look like because I don't ever look at myself. I'm trying to look at myself but it's very hard.
Me too! Robert has helped me accept the face that is now 80 years old, that made me feel like a stranger that I didn't recognise when I looked in the mirror, because I don't feel any different inside to what I was when I was young.
When I was young, my parents were pretty horrible to me.. and as I grew up I was very pretty.. I didn't know that or believe it when everyone told me that. When I looked in the mirror I saw every flaw that I perceived myself as having. I was carrying so much pain and rejection that I seriously never saw any good looks at all!! One guy told me when I was about 30, that my looks were intimidating! Another guy told me that I was the dream girl that men dream about but never can imagine how beautiful a dream girl could be? Huh? I didn't even know what to say! I didn't say anything! So really, looks are completely subjective!
I am writing a book about self esteem... “The Mirror” and this video will help, and I talk about everything you guys are saying here 😊
I honestly just think this fella looks really cool.
It may be the wrong way to look at things but I genuinely find it so cool to see people who look unique.
In a world where everyone is striving to look 'attractive' and often use extensive beauty routines that leave many looking very similar,
I find it so refreshing to see people who do not adhere to the 'norm' and have their own identity.
You're all beautiful in a way, you were born to look the way you do and that's something so very precious.
Same. In a way i'm trying to look at myself too and think more like "if not attractive i look at least cool and different". I don't have facial deformities but for example acne makes me feel like i look different even though its pretty common, but still. In a way i look at my acne (and other things, like body hair as a female) and think "it's something a bit different and cool in a way, if not attractive". Why would i want to look attractive, if i can look interesting instead?
Like honestly 😭🌻
Right like ... I'd love to have known the guy who was 'The Elephant Man' ... I bet he could've had an amazing humor and personality.
I like his voice..
I have studied vitamins and minerals...
Especially in pregnancy..
Deficiencies cause sicknesses
One major deficiency in birth defects is Folic acid in the early 1st trimester ..
Before becoming pregnant..benefit to pay for a complete vitamin and mineral panel
That is complete..Iron & B 12 is
also very important
❤❤❤❤❤
God bless You all !!
I agree, he's actually a very attractive man, good strong jawline and very nice eyes
As someone who also has a facial abnormality from a fractured skull at 3yo, I can say with great understanding, this man is friggin outstanding and so is his message.
Can you give me some advice on how to live with disfigurement? This is new to me.
I agree ☝️
And I bet you are beautiful, too. Not “sympathy” beautiful-but truly beautiful. God bless both of your hearts to know beyond doubt how loved & how purposed by God you both are.
I bet you are!🙏❤️🙏
People are quick on judging anyone who's different from others.
@@EllaArmstrong25 i have some advice
1) Don't see it as a demerit. It is a blessing on disguise as it helps you sort out the real friends from the fake ones.
2) Know your self worth. Your self worth is created by your hard work alone. A crumpled note still acts as currency so humans are worth a lot more than that with disfigurement.
3) Start 'journalling'
I don't feel bad for this guy at all. He seems well put and confident, which is a much more valuable asset than just looking good. Respect.
Damn right!
True AF.
Leonardo Torres yeah if he (no offense) had a normal face he wouldnt be the man he was.
6ine9ix right, his parents and family sound nightmarish, so I think he would’ve turned out the same. Then again he could not have. Then that raises the idea that if his family were fantastic people, and he had that tumor, he would turn out to be the opposite of them somehow and be a horrid person. Idk. I’m stoned
He doesn't want you or anyone to feel bad for him or sympathies ☺️
@Josip so is it better to dwell on a collective pity party? He is not playing the victim even if he rightfully could, which is what I perceive and highlight. Of course he was bullied, of course he has suffered and most certain of course I wouldn't like to have gone through that myself. I actually doubt I would endure such trial. That's why I respect him.
Who votes this down. This man has survived more than most of us. Incredible story.
And look at how many down votes! What's wrong with people??
some people using smart phones accidently click on the down votes while trying to scroll atimes.. or maybe he has enemies too you never know
Or maybe some PC people think this is exploitation...
People with perfect faces realising they have it easy?
false statement
It’s not the outer shell that’s important it’s the inner shell and this man has a beautiful soul.🙏🏼❤️
sure but when you get rejected even before people get to see who you are having a beautiful soul or not isn't even part of the equation
@@randomguy5189Then those are the not the people you should surround yourself with. If they're so quick to judge and reject all of you because of your face, are they really worth it ?
True , yet many are shallow and judge a book by its cover.
His inner beauty shines through so brightly, by the end of the video I didn't even see anything abnormal about his appearance
West Korea prison Mike!
Umm but he does have a abnormal face, that’s like saying “I don’t see color” you should see color and respect that but not act like it doesn’t exist. You shouldn’t degrade his face but understand that it is abnormal.
@@jayquelen I think what he meant is that when you enter the video, you of course notice at first sight his appearance. But at the end of the video you just forget about his deformities and just see a face like one another
you just got used to it m8
Judge a man on his actions
Humans can be horrible to each other sometimes. Salute to this man.
Really? Never would of thought
@@animalmother5287 ratio
why do mother cats and dogs reject some of their offspring? It's natural eugenics. Discarding the defective so defects aren't passed on and are weeded out. Like boot camp, life is a test. People test those in their group to see if they are trustworthy and have the courage to fight to protect the group if they are attacked. Like are they willing to defend their family, their mom, if a criminal comes along to do her harm? Why firefighters are tested. You don't want to be in a fire when you discover that your fellow firefighter is a useless coward. That's why people seem mean. They are testing you. Some people obviously are sociopaths and psychopaths and simply enjoy hurting people. But that's an anomaly, not the norm
Even your own mother apparently 😓
@@ladythiep2811 There are mothers that accept their deformed babies and love them ... but his mother is a low quality woman, you can tell by the divorce threats to her man too, not just the rejection of her baby because of his face ...
And I've seen someone with a face deformed way worse then this one
It astounds me that the brothers and sisters at their young age were more humane than his own mother.
Yeah because they haven’t been tainted by the cruel ways of humanity yet. They’re still somewhat innocent. It’s when they hit middle school is when it all starts... Let the jadedness commence!
Yes.
Adults have been conditioned.
Children have no bias
The brothers and sisters wernt in the same position as the parent
@@danieb4273 nice
I am a 23 year old male (5'6") living with bdd. I used to hate getting my pictures taken, missing out on memories because I felt embarrassed that I'd ruin the picture and I can tell you from my experience, I feel my cope is helping others. I can't change who I am but I can change how I think. I've been getting closer to God and noticed my anxiety about my looks went down because I am too busy helping people. He also gave me confidence going to stores and I can honestly say the change in my self esteem made me realize looks truly don't matter it's all about confidence, not arrogance.
What is bdd.
Finally, it’s not a model saying to you love yourself.
Edit: Don’t get me wrong I just don’t see a lot of these videos. It’s usually the other way around.
BelieveInTheHype righhhtt
underrated comment
Your comment deserves more recognition cuz models whoever already confident because of their looks can never understand how it feels like being insecure about your face and stuff! But this guy legit giving his ounce of confidence to everyone around him! His personality is ✨lit✨
@DarthVader I mean, it doesn't make their message less valid though no? Would you rather them go around bragging about how beautiful they are?
@DarthVader Ah, I see.
Now that's a mother only a baby could love.
Sebastian Piesiak 🙄👏🏾💯
THIS. 💯
Well said 😊
Well she thought about too long
Sebastian Piesiak that’s a baby only planned parenthood could love.
I'm very lucky. I like this guys telling his story. For some reason, my Dad would always make a habit of greeting and saying hello to people in society that he knows would have been shunned. He would talk with me first as a child and say , "Lets go make that guy happy, and treat him with respect." He would tell me if, as long as I was smiling and polite, if I was curious I could ask some what happened instead of stare at them. But it quickly became a thing where, from my fathers guidance, I just learned to except and support people, no matter what. I think my Dad taught me how to be rich with Love.
That’s awesome!
What a wonderful life lesson from a loving man. Yes you are indeed lucky. Thank you for your story. 🤩
♥️♥️♥️
You’re dad sounds like a great man ❤️😄
Yes he did. The world needs more people like you and your dad.
Many blessings to Robert. I know his mother loved him, but she was trying to comprehend what she was dealing with.
You always have to try and help your children so that they have a chance at life.
He's an example of someone who's done something amazing with his life.
What look like that bottom of a boat
Yes indeed
He accepted himself. God bless this man🙏✝️
How is this top comment
@Flower Power His influence would span his lifetime, he doesn't need the Ted Talk to be somebody but just being a positive example after being born with a physical deformity makes him amazing in my book. Lots of people these days are depressed and suicidal for a lot less.
dude started life on hardcore mode and became a father, while i'm on normal difficulty and struggling to keepp a relationship smh
same
git gud
At least you achieved a relationship.
wtf he got with someone hahahaha
Thoticcus Prime why is that funny?
i'm just crying at what he's saying, his mum rejecting him at birth and all, that's intense...
Yeah..indeed... i know what he is talking about..i also never experienced motherly love..and also fight to keep alive until today..this guy is a 1000 times stronger than i ever could be!
@@MrEmotional33 ❤💖🙋♀️
@@joanae8189 Thank you ❤️
Mothers are women...before being the "sacred". None of us is. We're all just struggling and making up stories to sense it.
Her mother never rejected him. I read the book.
God bless this brave man for speaking and educating us.
His face is surprisingly easy to get used to
Yes. But I think it is this way not because the way he looks but because the way he presents himself and behave.
Tqú Zonderclassaforsen how about before his surgeries
He reminds me of some fairytale character and loving fairytales i think what he looks like is incredibly cool
It's also because he looks so buff, got a Brock lesnar vibe from him.
Totally agree! After a few minutes of listening to his story and seeing the way he presents himself, you really stop beginning to see the deformity as profoundly as you did when you first started the TED talk. It's really telling: we judge people at first glance, and even though we know we shouldn't, we can't help it.
when a man can overcome his personal affliction and suffering to find a way to help the world, he is doing the good work.
Big facts, keep doing the good work brotha!
Amen to that.
Well said 😊❤🌼🌞
Perhaps finding a purpose in life is the best method to overcome personal affliction and suffering.
@@ErikROKonly Good stuff!
That short pause between "my" and "ugliness" broke my heart.
Seems he was close to losing it to...or generally has a deep detestation for the word ugliness....
Damn it was soo deep it hurts!
That has to be the most powerful and inspirational speech I have ever heard. I don’t think I even took a breath during this speech.
When I see the wedding ring on Robert’s hand, I know he owns his happiness as well. Thanks to his big brothers’ and sister’s votes to bring him home that day!
I noticed the ring as well. Very happy for him!
His wife is such a good person
Cause he is in marrige? Ok
happiness is not dependant on marriage
@@buffaloben15golf88 For loving somebody who has a facial deformity? I don't think that alone defines a person as "good" or "bad".To imply that their partners must be pure of heart simply for loving somebody who isn't conventially attractive is kind of an insult to those with deformities and disabilities.
This needs to be in schools all over the world.
the world has gone nuts we need some earthing urgently
preach, brother💜
You're so right. Children when I was young were so cruel due to the ignorance their elders taught them. We're all different in some way, let's celebrate that.
agreed
Church
young teenagers need to see this. People around the age of like 12 are so deeply concerned with being "normal"
The more Robert talked, his imperfections became less and less noticable. He seems like a truly awesome and honorable man.. Kudos to his brother for helping him make an extremely difficult choice : )
Well said Laurie!
Like Nanny McPhee....
that's what happens when you get to know someone: your first visual impressions tend to improve if you like the personality behind it. The reverse works too, though I think a bit lesser.
@@ddehggial9932 I agree.. Years ago I met a new guy at work who was very good looking... at first. The more he showed his personality, the less attractive he became.
@@ddehggial9932 So true!
5 minutes into your talk, and I realised your face looked perfectly normal to me. I had a cancer removed on my nose a few years ago, it left a scare, but the cancer was gone. I owned that scare, it tells a story.
Be yourself! Don't let anybody take down your confidence because of your beauty
Then why y'all mock me?
@@user-cg1kk7ip5z shush orange man
Fv
But i m lazy....should i continue be myself or change???
@@user-cg1kk7ip5z all of the crimes, the narcissist & other psychological issues, the lies, the tweets, the justifications, the bad fake tan that’s been applied since 1976,, his refusal to change anything he’s made up in your head including the combover...
i started crying when he said his brothers and sisters all voted yes for him to come home.. thats so sad kids always are so pure in love and we should learn from them we shouldnt be judged on our looks we are all in human bodys but we are all souls wanting joy
Exactly....I did too. I feel there should of never been a vote
I started crying when i read that YOU started crying... You must have a big heart to empathize like that. God bless you.
@@GraftedOliveBranch ☺😄 wow .... thank you! This warmed my heart, much appreciated. Oh yes, I have such empathy for Robert's life. I don't know if I could of ended up as well as Robert has. 👏👏👏👏👌💯 I could see that there's still unresolved hurt he is going through, perhaps. Name calling, the staring/reactions and maybe, even the "vote" 🙁
Best wishes to you and thank you, again. We need more positive people like you ♥️
@@misshotwheels6632 Thankyou.
@@GraftedOliveBranch my pleasure 🤗
This is the best talk, he doesn’t sugar coat anything like most body positivity talkers, he just says it how it is and tells some much needed wisdom.
As someone with a bit similar experience, i can tell he's holding back a lot of "you guys don't know how easy you got it in life" comments...
But honestly, in the end it really turns out for the better. You build a super strong character and you can instantly dodge assholes and shallow people from your life ;)
You're right, he's an outstanding speaker. He engages you immediately with his sincerity.
Take note everyone, this is a true Australian attitude. I would sit beside this guy at a campfire any day..doing that I think we would laugh at the silliness of vanity and be relieved that it’s hopefully for the rest of us… just a phase. There is no seat at my campfire but for the Robert’s amongst us. Thanks mate.
His confidence makes him attractive.
Indeed it does.
agree
Confidence is key
Why is everyone calling him attractive? He is literally trying to tell you that looks aren't what makes you a good person. But here you are complementing his looks out of all things.
@@pineappleflow2876 How you carry yourself, the way you act, and the way you speak, all contribute to your appearance. It's not just your face.
as someone with a cleft palate I can relate a lot. Thank you for making me want to own my face. You're a wonderful human being, sir.
No not at all u have problem in ur eyes
He is a beautiful soul.
Same here. Stopped minding about my face and about all other faces too a long time ago. Bu always felt i was blessed when i see a hungry person and tears swell up.
@@wyattgathje7925 tf is wrong with you
My dude really doesn’t look that bad. He just looks like a boxer. But I have a massive amount of admiration for his outlook on life though. This man is a hero.
Yea but imagine how he'd look if he was a boxer.
Right? Like, tbh the accent took me off guard more than anything lmao.
Tbh a boxer does not look like this.
Dont lie to yourself. Its good that he found a way to cope, but its just that. A cope. A cope so big he does talks about it.
He's unique
This is such a beautiful speech form a beautiful man
Years ago, I was involved in an accident, that split my forehead open. It was tough to look at myself in the mirror.
The philosophical truth in Robert's talk hits home. I am encouraged by his bravery.
I fell running up outdoor steps and split my forehead open on Christmas Eve (almost 3 weeks ago). I look in the mirror and pray every day that I completely heal and that my expressions will return to “function.” Coming across this Ted Talk today was a God-send for me because I was losing patience and hope.
I hope you had a great outcome from your injury. I am encouraged to put my accident and scar into perspective. It could have been so much worse. What an inspiration Robert is.
@@tracibloodworth hope you are ok
@@littlecrybabyspecials4057
Thank You!! I am getting better every day.🙏🏼
175 likes
nice
@@tracibloodworth Love and well wishes from Australia.
He has his own charm and beauty that makes him unique in a world of plastic.
well said
@@voightkampff7936 why do you assume that?
@@voightkampff7936 people have different tastes and types it's not necessarily a lie 😐 you're just a weirdo
Yeah. He looks like a proper hard bloke you can have a pint with
we all do, flaws or not
His face might not reflect society's standard of "beauty", yet it truly is a work of art.
He is a unique masterpiece!
He is a very brave individual, who has to live out his life unfortunately in grotesqueness, yet I applaud his brave reception of his consequences
Yes
Hear, hear! 👍
什么？？？
That painting of him was beautiful! This man is beautiful.