What I’ve learned from having balls. | Emily Quinn | TEDxProvidence
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 24 окт 2019
- Emily Quinn has balls, literally. At age 10 she found out she was intersex (that her biology isn’t strictly male or female) and she was told not to tell anyone about it. In this brave, vulnerable talk Emily shares what it’s like to carry the burden of shame while navigating a world where nobody understood her body. Her experience teaches us that bodies are a lot more diverse and complicated than we make them out to be, and leaves us with one question: what's so bad about being different? Emily Quinn is an artist, author, and intersex activist. She received her BFA in Animation in 2012 and worked at Cartoon Network on the Emmy Award winning show, Adventure Time. While there she partnered with interACT and MTV to develop the first intersex main character in television history. She came out publicly as intersex in a PSA alongside the character’s debut, which launched her into the national spotlight as an intersex person. She has since been featured in an array of media, including Teen Vogue, the Washington Post, Buzzfeed, Vice, Huffington Post, PopSugar, and many more.
Emily worked as the Youth Coordinator for interACT: Advocates for Intersex Youth before branching off on her own as a freelance activist and artist. She has experience speaking to a myriad of diverse audiences including the American Academy of Pediatrics, San Diego Comic-Con, Harvard University, GLAAD, South by Southwest, the Council of Europe, and, in 2018 she gave a TED talk. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
![Chance The Rapper, DJ Premier - Together (2024) | [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZVwTX6WP-MM/mqdefault.jpg)
One of my close friends is intersex. When she told all of us, we just shrugged and said, we could care less you are still the same person and our friend. She cried because expected us to all freak out and shun her. It is now many years later and she has met the person of her dreams and is happily married.
You and your friend group are ROCK STARS! Cannot believe no one has said this already with your comment 2 weeks old.
I'm the same way - it's literally zero big deal to me whether someone is intersex. That's a difference no more significant than whether a person's eye color is different from mine. It's completely ridiculous that anything other than the content of a person's character has any impact whatsoever on how others feel about them.
If a friend told my he/she was intersex, I would gradually end our friendship. Very easy to do, and spares me all the hassle.
@@DudeWatIsThis To each their own. I encourage you to see if there is any hassle before ending the friendship.
If they turn into a preachy SJW, yeah I'd end it too. However, it would be due to the change In personality.
In my situation my friend said it and that was that. No soap box or anything.
@@ChrisM-hx9kv I agree with you. In my case, all the ones I've seen transitioning (a couple of people I know - not friends, and a TON of people IRL) have been preachy to the point of being assholes.
I swear, every "MY" and "I" and "ME" on every sentence these two people say out loud sounds like an all-caps tumblr post. I would welcome someone who is "attitude-neutral", but I haven't met anyone who's transitioned and isn't super sensitive about it.
What ruined this girl's youth has not been having some "wrong" organs inside her, but having the wrong "friends" around her.
The wrong doctors, the wrong opinions. Two genders is a pretty damn fixed thing in our culture to get over, even though the scientific community has recognized a number of genders for awhile now.
Kids and adults can be cruel - there is no such thing safe room in public. So you need to handle it.
@@cc-by8uk If you listened to the talk, she has handled it incredibly well. Now comes the time for us to make a change, as a society.
@@scoreunder Yes she did. It was no comment on her story.
@@cc-by8uk I apologise. Your comment that "there is no such thing [as a safe space] in public" made me think that you were happy with the status quo, putting the onus for change on those affected by the state of affairs rather than those perpetrating it.
I was born "Kleinfelter's 48 (XXXY)". I was always affraid to have a relationship since I was NEVER abled to father children, or so I had been told forever since I was a child. 30 years ago I met a very wonderful lady that was willing to put up with me, knowing we would NEVER have children. Now, 30 years later, we have 4 biological children together. I was always told there is no one else like me, so I never looked for anyone else like me. Now, after watching a number of Intersex videos like this one, and this is one of the best videos I have watched on the subject, I am now confident that there are, in fact, others like me.
Congrats on your wife ❤
Congratulations dad! And thank you for commenting here on the wonderful video.
@@garyturner5204 Should I not have commented on this video? Sometimes my social skills are not the best.
@@wheatstonebridge My daughter died of Addisons Disease at 27, as a direct result of her inheriting my born condition CAH.
@@joeewell4846your comment was wonderful
when i was in foster care, and my parents learned that i wasn't female was when i was 9; due to me growing other parts later on. from there, i was taught to be more feminine, and basically brainwashed into believing i was always a girl until i learned i was intersex; i was very sheltered in an overly religious home, so i barely got curious. when i came to terms and tried to stand against my parents control over me, they threw me out at 15.
however, i'm proud to say i'm in a better home now and i'm going to do a speech on intersex next week
I'm so happy for you :D
I admire you❤️
And this incredibly difficult experience has apparently made you a much stronger person. Hurrah for You !!! I'm so happy that you let it make you someone More . . . kinda like Superman (or woman, if you like). Congratulations !!! - Carey from Michigan @@doricetimko332
2 years later I hope your speech went well and that life is improving by the day!
Same story over and over in different contexts: evangelicals work hard to kill curiosity and reject knowledge in favor of a faith in a myth.....and react in cruel ways to anyone who doesn't conform to that.
It's terrible. Maybe Jesus was good...if he even existed....but a large number of his supposed followers are far from good.
As a doctor I would like to say thank you for giving me an insight into what people who are intersex go through.. And that I admire your courage for standing in front of the world and expressing your true nature.
I still have fear of going to a GP because of lack of information. I feel like I will be misgendered and mistreated. In the wake of covid I really want to focus on my health more, but I only feel like going to "friendly" trans groups or centers will allow me to be calm enough to actually go. I am blessed with good health, but now in my 30's and on hormones, I wish that Medical Schools would lead more in this area as well.
The thought of doctors poking and prodding around this vulnerable young person's genitals out of curiosity is enough for me a cis woman to never visit a gynecologist again.
@@ellierose6 As weird as this sounds, I feel the same way about prostate and mammograms. I never done either, and now I am going to need to start both :X
However, I still feel these things are medically necessary. That said I would prefer a female doctor, and someone who is sensitive to patient confidentiality and privacy. A hard act.
@@smithhoowe I hope you find doctors who will give you the best care. ❤ While maintaining privacy. I always read reviews online. Make sure they have a good bedside manner. And are decent humans. Theres so many doctors out there who are cold and think they know EVERYTHING. And they look down on others. I think some of them forget they are human too. 😅
@@a.l.a7901 Your very sweet to say that :)
Yes, I do hope so. Lately my roommate and I (also trans) have considered moving to another part of the country. I live in FL now, and I don't feel very safe here under our governor. Maybe ill find some better educated doctors in the north. If I ever have children, I would not raise them here.
Here is how this beautiful talk ends: "The only thing that truly needs to be fixed is the way we treat people who are different from us. We can do better." I was moved, in the right direction.
I understand and agree with the need for compassion. However, if we’re going to properly treat/address/diagnose this issue we should study it more and unfortunately it may mean that some people are going to be uncomfortable.
@@thermalreboot There's a couple of things worth addressing here. First, Emily said that TWO percent of the world population is intersex - which is over 100 million people. Second, intersex people validate trans people in that they are tangible proof there is more to gender than what is between our legs. For the whole of Emily's talk, I debated with myself on what her (for lack of knowledge of preferred pronouns) gender is based on her intersex variance. The answer is that there isn't one! Emily can choose to be a man or a woman (or nothing at all) and it would be perfectly valid. From that standpoint, it is much easier to understand the plight of those that are trans that have scientifically proven genderswapped brain chemistry. As far as fake genders are concerned, most people don't believe in that fringe concept. I think, based on this TED talk, it's fair to say there are at most three genders - the third being nonbinary (neither entirely man or woman) which Emily could identify as if she wanted to.
So we shouldn't treat people with cancer? We should accept all differences, right?
@@hoominbeeing Cancer causes death and can be eradicated or managed if caught early. Intersex is not a death sentence, it's a gender anomaly, with one for life, and today we're educating ourselves on how to understand and accept it and related gender anomalies.
@@ljay3379 The number is closer to 1 in 1500 to 1 in 2000 births [0.07-0.05%]
Wow! I have Turner Syndrome and I was told not to tell others because it would scare them. In the 1980s there was no groups or opportunity to meet others like me, so I was in my 20s before I ever met anyone who was XO like me. We didn't have the word intersex to call ourselves either- just 'chromosomal disorder' and needing medical care. I am so glad that now we can discuss, RUclips and openly talk about these issues, and that young adults usually don't need to be educated like the doctors I've had.
One of the best things I have done is to be involved with establishing the Turner Syndrome Society of the USA when I was younger.
Thanks again! You don't need testes or ovaries (I don't have either) to have balls!
Could not have said that better! :)
Good job, well done!
That's helpful insight!
Another one I never heard of. Thanks for broadening my horizon.
When I was fresh out of high school a co-worker was very open about Turner Syndrome. One day after a year, I asked why she was so comfortable talking about it, and she told me she was tired of people not knowing about it. She was the first person who openly talked to me about her medical struggles and it had a lasting impact on me that saved my life years later because I felt confident enough to reach out for help for something I was going through.
" The only thing that needs to be fixed is the way we treat people who are different than us!" Right On!
We need to better study intersex and avoid messing with them
@@qjtvaddict , Or with a child born with both sets of genitals and the doctor picks which one at birth for them.
I’m scared to watch! 🙈😂 Thank you for sharing my story!
There you are! For some reason it seems like ages since you posted and I was concerned for you. Yes.... I know how ridiculous that sounds. lol I'm just glad you are here!
I've only recently finally put all the pieces together from my childhood. So while I've always been Intersex I'm still new to the community. My word. The learning curve! I appreciate your candor about experiences in the GYN office. I tried to go to one once. I wanted to find out why I have a cycle. I had learned I am a chimera but I had had an orchiectomy years before and the cycle stopped after. Once I started on HRT it returned, but just so erratic and some of the day WAY worse than it was before. So I wanted their help because if it was something like endo I needed to know. After talking to several people, ultimately several weeks later they simply told me there was nothing they could do to help me. I wanted to say "BS! You can help HALF of me!" but I didn't. Stories like yours make me grateful that I couldn't see a GYN. It would have been far more mortifying than I imagined and I really imaged a terrible experience.
Thank you for sharing so much and helping educate so many! And.... Great job on the TEDx Talk!
Hi Emily, You did an excellent job, and while I know we can be our own harshest critic, you should be nothing but PROUD! I appreciate you sharing your story, and giving us a glimpse into your life, Thank You! -B
I learned about intersex around 8 or 9. I never thought they needed to be fixed. I understood they went to the doctor, but never understood why they went to the doctor.
I am amazed by those doctors and I am glad you have such a calm gentle spirit.
@@juanjoserivasgarcia2336 I have the same as emiliy, you might learn from me if you would like to
@@murniastuti1781 Thanks a lot Murni, but it seems you are really young, and that probably would be uncomfortable for you parents. My future character is actually young intersexual girl growing up until she is a young teen (16 - 17 years old) I really apreciate your good vibes.
I am 77 years old, and have yet to meet another intersex person. I don't know if anybody knew that i was intersex, because anybody who could tell me was gone already. I found out about myself a bout 10 years ago. All the years before, when asked as a kid, why i was the way I was, the answer was that some people are just different. I was forced to live a life as a male person, a guy with a female looking body! About 10 years ago, I changed into my real gender, I am a happy woman now.
I am like you, I never had acne or body hair, or oily skin, and I am happy about this, because I still do not have to shave.
I hope that your work will help that kids are allowed to grow up free from any societal pressure. I missed out on a life as a female, because some doctor though my genitals look male. I hope no other kid has to experience this!
Good luck for you!
You now have an opportunity to do what you were meant to do.
Big hugs, Jesse. I hope the world becomes kinder and more knowledgeable as a result of all these amazing TED Talks. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story!! It’s important that we become aware of those stories so history doesn’t repeat itself!! I hope you’re living a happy life 🥰🥰
Wow! Jesse thank you for sharing your story. That is incredible. I am a transwoman who was born male, and transitioning to female (slowly but consistently). But I cant imagine not knowing, honestly my life can be hard sometimes being open, but not knowing for 28 years was extremely painful and kept me from a lot of opportunities that I still regret. Being trapped for nearly a lifetime would be unbearable, and you are indeed an extremely strong person!
@Aleksa Kole Thank you for mansplaining that to me. Ill note that Karen.
Have we not evolved enough to stand and applaud, to recognize that Emily Quinn is a beautiful, sensitive and kind human who embodies the best of humankind. May you find peace, serenity & happiness
..and your Jock Strap!
@@someonehere4344 You’re a really sorry excuse for a human being.
find me
I would, but it's 6am sunday morning. Good possibility ie-
But, would you marry an intersex?
I’m just crying it’s cool. My dad just send this to me to tell me he’s proud of me and everything I’ve been through. Thank you.
there is something transcendent about being understood.
In the talk 'A different kind of superpower' by Susannah Temko she states that intersex people are of about the same occurrence as people with 'red hair'. I know the life I went through with red hair, and the pain I experienced because of this. I can only imagine my life was a dream compared to what you went through. I congratulate you on your strength and perseverance, I hope I meet you one day, you are a very beautiful woman. I hope that one day you find the guy with the decency to marry you, for who you really are, a person, a human being worth loving and caring for. I wish you a wonderful and successful future Caymen.
How does having red hair cause pain? Is humanity really so cruel that they hurt people over the tiniest difference from what they're used to or something? I'm genuinely interested in knowing.
@@hetsmiecht1029 yes. Especially kids bro. You will get made fun of for anything by people who feel insecure and cope by putting people down.
@@hetsmiecht1029
agreed. never understimate (or is that overestimate) the human capacity to sub-group one another and eventually ENFORCE such subgroups for highly dubious excuses.
What a brave and articulate young woman. She has been treated badly and yet asks only for people to be understanding and fair. Bravo.
I'm sorry but that person has testicles so they are obviously a man
This talk took balls of steel.
I’ll tolerate the association of courage to a specific type of genitalia purely for how good of a pun this is lol
@@chroni3659 It's good of you to have such great tolerance. It's rare to find someone with such a tolerant streak. Most just scream and kick and threaten and cajole because it's not what they think is right so it's never right for others either, good tolerant soul.
Believe in Jesus and you can have everlasting life look up John 3:16 and Romans 10:9 and the prophecy about Jesus written long before the crucifixion called Isaiah 53 and can be found in the bible ( two first New Testament last in the Old Testament ) or on the internet ❤️💕💖🥰
@@followerofjesus6338 Nice that you have faith that you follow, but put the Bible down long enough to put yourself in her place, she's exceptionally brave to put herself out there like she has, not everyone is as closed minded as you, THANK GOD!
@@michaelware1649 I'm an atheist expat and live in a country that is mostly atheist, but only because they applied the finest teachings of Jesus into their society instead of securitizing them or turning them into 9.1% of the USA's GDP and making a third of the country intolerant of critical thinking. Democracies work and the top scorers in the Democracy Index, Press Freedom Index, Social Progress Index, and Happiness Index are all capitalist democracies that shun theocratic nonsense. Only America, whose founders shunned organized religion as antithical to successful societies, insist on quoting the hallucinations of mesopotamian sheepherders from1000s of years ago,
The Universal Traveler by Koberg and Bagnall is the best guide to follow through life. It may be 50 years old, but Cybernetics is problem solving that works.
My youngest granddaughter is intersex and thankfully her parents aren’t going to “fix” her supposed issues🙌🏽🥺 I’m so proud of my daughter and her husband for understanding that she’s absolutely perfect and doesn’t need surgical or hormonal intervention. I’m not saying this is the case for all intersex children or adults but I’m seeing that it is usually the case, Dr trying to fix what isn’t “normal” instead of worrying about the patients health both mental and physical, they are totally focused on the norm🥺 I promise you my 6 month old Granddaughter is perfect 🥰
If your grand daughter had just one eye would you term that as normal. Or had her ear on her tongue would you consider that normal ?
Love this
It's crazy to me how little people seem to know about intersex and how much stigma comes with it.
A couple years ago, when i was 16, we had a class about the biological definition of gender and i remember there was a whole paragraph about intersex people and how XY genes don't always define the gender of an individual.
I guess what i'm trying to say is that minds are changing (my teacher was pretty old and she taught us about intersex in quite an objective way) and it makes me happy
Much respect for your strength and resilience. Regards and all the best to you now and in the future.
In the 1970s, we also had this teaching in a Bible Belt suburban conservative community. Education can happen when people trust themselves. Fear can protect or it can throttle or impede. Part of the issue with societies in general is not understanding that fear is a tool and not a way of life. When fear rules, the vulnerable are at risk of becoming victims.
@Madolite that's a very interesting question
Between 0.05% and 1.7% of people are intersex, depending on the definition thereof.
Well, not quite:
Intersex is real. But if you have XY chromosomes you’re male and XX if you’re female.
You’re still either a man or woman.
the fact that there are so many forms of intersex people there are just goes to show how delicate of a recipe hormones, genes, and all that stuff really is...
Guess you'd never know if you were talking to one... Probably they'd never Guess either do to the Concealment Model....
Not really. It's a small percentage of the population. Seems inevitable to me that there's gonna be some mix ups.
@@matthewatwood2581 or you could call it alternative versions.
not really they are less than 1% of the worl'ds population.
@@maskofshy she literally said during the talk that they are 2% which is really quite a lot when you think about it
I don't understand why would anyone react bad if she told them about her body. I was born and raised in a poor country in Europe, we learned about this in 7th grade maybe 25yrs ago and the teacher was smart and sensitive enough to tell us it's rare but it does happen. She didn't spoke about intersex as some kind of a disease or something to hide or be ashamed about.
People in rich countries think you can't get a good education in poor countries, but here we are 🤷♀️
We have proven many times over that more money does not produce better teachers.
Thank you for teaching us a lesson: being American does not make us better, smarter or faster than anyone else, just luckier.
Yeah try that in Afghanistan. Its also a poor country. Its not to do with whether a country is poor or not...
@@wheatstonebridge Isn`t that a peaceful country, it`s all we hear in the media?
I very much appreciate you sharing your story. I am a physician and found your comments on “unnecessary”physical exams to be informative. Physicians are trained that a good exam is critical to good medical care. More physicians have been criticized for not adequately examining the patient than for examining them. When you visited the surgeon I would have expected a very thorough physical exam before you were given any personal surgical advice. I don’t think most physicians mean any disrespect when they ask to examine you regarding pertinent questions. They are concerned about being accused of negligence if they do not examine you. Failure to perform a good exam has been the source of many legal problems for physicians.
You are a great spokesperson for others who share your concerns.
If you communicate with your patiënt about the reasons why you want to skip the exam and you document this in your report of the consultation, then no patiënt will complain. The exam she was talking about seemed to me really unnecessary. What new insights would it have given what not already has been written down about all the previous gynaecological examinations?
Hanneke Bolt
MD sexologist
The fact that there are so many doctors in this woman's story who are so uneducated on the condition has me worried for the sake of the medical community. Intersexuality isn't all that rare. I remember learning about it in neuroanatomy during undergrad. The doctors knew about it, they were just blinded by prejudice.
I learned about it in high school biology 10+ years ago.
I remember hearing about intersex in grade 2, must have been 1967 or so. Why does it have to be a deep dark secret? Just the same, it must be hard to 'decide' as what you will live. Peer group, sports teams, relationships.
Especially when you research "Why do men have nipples?" only to realize that intersex is like the 'factory setting' without hormonal influence.
I do not trust doctors myself. I am a diabetic. I control it by means outside the standard medical ways. It works, even my own doctor recognizes it because it says so in the numbers. Yet, he will still tell me that what I do can be dangerous. I got news for him, and I have even told him, living life is dangerous. He doesn't argue with me. He knows better. I am not impressed by his M Divinity. I don't trust ANYONE who tries to pretend to be an expert. After awhile, they think they are god. It doesn't matter the field of study or practice. I simply don't trust them.
Drs are lazy....they don't seem to research medical publications, once they get their degree. As a nurse, I know more about my disease (endometriosis) than probably 90% of all drs and gynaecologists. I don't trust drs anymore.
Her comments about doctors satisfying their own curiosity by doing unnecessary examinations really rang a bell. Anyone with an unusual condition will recognise that.
With 2% of the population being intersex according to the talk... it took way too long to have these conditions to become known.
Speaking with a bit of compassion for the doctors, professors, and scientists in general, 2% includes all of the "conditions" that fall under intersex. Some of them are extremely rare (20 - 40 births per year worldwide), some are not as rare but individually they are way below 2%. Only collectively are they this high. That said, doctors, professors, and scientists in general, are human beings. By which I am saying they have all the understanding and prejudices that the rest of the world has. Usually they are better but all too often they fall short. Knowledge and understanding are more widespread and evidenced than ever before in human history. We just have further to go.
@@yunnailavayen5574 This has zero to do with religion.
There was one study that came to this conclusion that intersex people make up 2% (1.8% to be exact) of the population and it has debunked. The percentage is in fact much, much lower.
Unfortunately people are unknowingly spreading these fake numbers around.
@@bulletz510 Indeed seeing some research publications on these figures would be very helpful, as we need to be scientific about finding possible solutions.
@@Gichanasa There is a credible study indicating that it makes up 0.018% of the population, which makes a lot more sense. That's around 2 people per 10,000. Not 2 per 100 lmao.
If that was the cases you'd be meeting intersex people left right & centre but that is not the case cause Intersex is an incredibly rare condition after all.
It is not only intersex people who are different. There are so many people who are different and in many different ways. Many times they are also shunned, isolated, made fun of or even abused. I feel that such people should never feel ashamed of their differences and that society should accept both these people and their differences unconditionally.
I'm trans and have always known something was different about me. But I hid it.
In my early 40's I transitioned and my life changed for the better in so many ways.
Her story resonates with me on so many levels.
And the boy who dumped her really blew it , She's wonderful.
Stop conflating trans with DSDs. It’s not right, and it’s wholly inaccurate.
@@katieandnick4113 what's that?
@@katieandnick4113 learn the difference between conflation and comparison
This is completely different from what she went through. You can't compare your situation to hers. You have gender dysphoria disorder. It's completely different.
@@amandatucker6334 why are you censoring the suffering of another human being? Because is not the story of the day? Brianne can share her pain if she wishes, especially if she feels connected with the story at whatever level she finds. Don't shun her. Be more compassionate, dear
Man fears the unknown. Fear leads to hate. Don't be afraid, be prepared. Love you sister.
shamans don't, shamans love the esoteric.
People who aren't what society deems as 'normal' don't need to be 'fixed', they need to be understood and accepted. ❣️ amazing talk, thank you for sharing.
The word brave is sometimes overused, but not this time. Emily, you are so incredibly brave to have the courage to stand up and speak your truth. You and all the other amazing intersex people deserve love, understanding and much happiness.
Wow! Emily, you may never read this, but I want to thank you for your willingness to share your experience. It should not be your responsibility to teach others basic humanity and compassion, especially as a child. I wish I had heard someone speak so well about feeling broken and isolated when I was young. I am in my 50's now, and just beginning to be able to have the tools to manage my experience. Thank you.
Although she may, indeed, never read your comment, other people are. You are heard.
Also I wish you the best of fortune moving forward with the journey you've started. It's never too late!
@@Kaeresh Thank you. I absolutely agree that it is never to late. All my best to you also.
I admire this person for speaking so openly about this. I do NOT mean to sound like I'm in any way diminishing the experiences here, but for all those know it all's out there who say 'there is just man and woman, fact'. Where do they place this intersex person in their theory then?.
This is why kids need to be more confident about their selves rather than always thinking that everyone else is right.. I always want my child to question me and everyone around her before accepting anything since we all could be wrong.
You were chosen to be a very special person for a very special reason. Your mission was to change the ignorance of the world in a way that no one else ever could.
What do I think of you? A living, breathing, thinking, loving human being and having my respect.
S A M E
to any intersex persons reading this,
I see you.
You are valid and complete and whole.
😊❤
Intensive Care Unit
@Caleb Pederson how is 1/1500=1.7%?
ty i have two assholes and this means a lot
Funny how this intersex person looks and sounds so convincingly feminine, that i would have thought she was really female. I can't help but think of this person as "her" and "she"
Why do we have to fear whatever isn’t just like the mainstream? You’re just another way, of very many, to be. I admire your bravery and I hate that you have to be brave. Thank you for sharing.
Wow! It must have been sooooooooo difficult to stand up in front of an audience and talk about this. You have my utmost respect.
"The only thing we truly need to fix, is the way we treat people who are different from us." Well said!
This is why it's upsetting when people say women are only female if they can have children and are XX.
I'm XO and a cis woman!
@Samriddhi Soperna She isn’t biologically female, but she was assigned female at birth, and she is still a woman because that is how she identifies.
@@saracole7623 I pretend to be duck, but it doesn't make me a duck. Pretending to be female doesn't make an intersex a female.
@@EpochUnlocked Well then what would you refer to this speaker as?
@@EpochUnlocked you're making the mistake of assuming she is pretending. That's not what gender identity is about.
Thank you for sharing this. I love that you pointed out that "different" doesn't mean "bad", and that's a wonderful message for the world to hear. We shoudn't judge and we shouldn't think ill of those who are different. Thank you for being you and for having the courage to tell your story. You rock!
As a Intersex with AIS like you i from little had gonads removed and 4 reconstructive surgeries and all i have is scar tissue and loneliness.. i applaud you still for comming out about this.. it makes me happy!
I also have ais but don’t yet have my gonads removed and im not quite sure if i should.
@@blackchickenugget If you get them removed, you'll have to take HRT for life. I suggest not, because HRT will have tons of implications on your life. Also there is no risk of tumors, if kept.
I applaud people who have medical conditions like this for coming forward and talking about it. These types of issues need to be publicly discussed
'Difference means bad" - I have had to live with this experience when I got leprosy at age 20. For decades I did not meet another person like me. Perhaps there were, but each was hiding from the other. I felt freed up when I came out too. Today I work for the cause of supporting people go beyond their experience of being stigmatized and discrimination due to leprosy. "The only thing that truly needs to be fixed is the way we treat people who are different from us" - truly powerful! Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are such an inspiration.
Leprosy is mostly easy to treat and should not be spreading like that
@@qjtvaddict You don't live in India! There are many places in the world where leprosy is still common and there are many barriers to proper prevention and treatment.
Thank you both so am i with love and gratitude Ely Anabela intersex and proud!
I was moved to tears after hearing her story. At the same time, it fills my heart with happiness to see the positivity and support that people are showing in comments. Let there be peace in everyone's life.
What a confident and delightful woman sharing herself in the journey of being human. Thank you
I’m intersex and I have persistent Müllerian duct syndrome. I was born with xy chromosome without testicles and a partial female reproductive system. I’ve never met another intersex person in my life. I am a happy woman and have come to love myself. I really appreciate and enjoyed this conversation. Thank you
Why doesn’t this have more likes? Thank you, Emily, for sharing your very heartfelt and personal story with us all; I know you have never met you but I love who you are and am happy that you bravely shared your account. I wish I could give you a big hug.
You are an the inspiration we all must hear and the pioneer of change this world needs.
This video is the first time I've been made aware that Emily Quinn exists. I too grew up with something "wrong" with my body. I'm not an intersex individual, but I did experience the feelings of doubt and lack of self worth that you experienced. I'd have to say that Emily has broadened my definition of manhood. It takes a lot for a person to confront these sorts of things about themselves, learn to accept themselves as they are, and to tell the whole world, "it doesn't matter if you accept me or not the way I am, I am me. And I have as much right to my happiness as anyone else." And then to go on and take action to try and spare others from the pain that defined them for so long. This is what living is all about, and I can't imagine ever finding anyone whose life experience was any more valid and authentic. Shine on!
❤
Hotchkiss, you said that Emily has broadened your definition of manhood. Does that mean that you regard Emily as primarily a male?
Wow, this is the reason why I pick out TED talks at random....i did know a little bit about intersex (at least the definition of it).. now I understand the people behind it.. you are doing a great job.... don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!!!
An empowering way to show that taking "belonging" away from anyone has sever negative outcomes, and nurturing it is what we should've been doing from the very beginning. Very few things take it away to a great extent, like saying "you're broken." Very few things can show that everyone belongs here, like saying "I understand and I care."
Vernon, I suspect that "broken" is Emily's term. No way would a doctor (even an unsympathetic one) use that term.
@@dodgecrockett3474 I can see what you're saying, and I really hope no doctor ever used that. Maybe Emily did use that as an exaggeration, but I would assume that she perceived that message, nonetheless. Again, I really do hope you're right and no doctor would ever think or even use that term.
Thank God for people like Emily Quinn.
why?
..and ALL the CIRCUS acts, where HE can become a "STAR"!
@@someonehere4344 not really a ''class'' act are you.
@@Aj32678 Not really opposite of what your DNA says you are, are you?
@@someonehere4344 wow, your are not too bright are you. Insulting people for having a different opinion is a classic symptom of poor character
Holy cow, your amazing. Thank you for sharing your story with us Emily Quinn, your courage and candor are just mind blowing.
"The only thing that truly needs to be changed is the way we treat people who are different from us." Nailed it! Much love and I hope, as you do, for better days!
You are incredibly courageous! Thank you for opening my eyes to something I didn’t know about others and have never considered. I feel fortunate to have listened to your talk.
Couldn't agree more, people need to be far far kinder to each other.
Isn't is great that finally the world is growing up and we are acknowledging that everybody is perfect just the way we all are?
Not broken, just different. No more different than someone born with red hair and brown eyes or an extra finger. The world needs more people who are different and more people willing to show empathy. This young lady is inspiring.
@Cressida Dick's women bashing storm troopers Depends on your way of seeing the very idea of fullness. If a human is defined just as a bipedal mammalia that has some set of organs and is living; then there's no way you can call someone broken, partial or imperfect on the basis of their choice/need or ability to reproduce/marry or work through a predefined notion of a 'Perfect' human being. Hope that clears your idea.
Dear Emily, finally, slowly humanity is out getting out of Plato's "cave" again. Living in the Lightness of Being in human form takes effort and so many waste so much effort for the wrong reason. Slowly more and more humans understand that real LOVE has nothing to do with jealousy, anger, obsession, possession. Keep shining with your beauty and uniquess. We love You.
Lot's of Love Emily...your story really touched me...
the only thing that truly needs to be fixed is
how we treat people who are different from us...
Thank you for being you and helping others be more at peace with themselves. "The only thing that truly needs to be fixed is how we treat people" Beautiful quote!
This is the very definition of courage. Thank you for being so open. Much Love.
I have my own stuff that is really hard to deal with, but watching you be so vulnerable reminds me that I can do the same and I will be a better human being for it.
It horrifies me that you were treated this way and that others are too. I am glad you pushed through your exhaustion to deliver this speech. I made a deep impact on me
I am speechless.. I just cannot imagine what you've been through. It is really a sad world in which people do not take the time just to listen and to fully understand others.. If there's something wrong, then it needs to be fixed. You summarized well the problem of our society if you don't fit in, no matter your problem, then you need to be fixed. I hope that things could be better, and anyway thank you that you took the courage to share your experience. I am impressed
Brilliant and powerful. Thank you for being here, thank you for sharing!
It seems like she has bigger balls than most of us. Nothing more powerful than being at peace yourself, your truth and your reality.
I can only shake my head when I hear something like this. My mom was one of those parents who definitely would have allowed doctors to practice their "theories" and experiments on me if I were intersex. She even said as much when I was a kid. Again, I'm not intersex but it frightens me to know I could have gone through an ordeal such as what Emily described. Wish nothing but the best for all intersex peeps.
Thank you for re-empahasizing the fact that you're not intersex. You certainly wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.
@Cat Magic, you mentioned SlimDude's "point". Do you find his story credible? Can you imagine a parent approaching their young child and saying "Excuse me, if you were intersex, I'd take you to the doctor. And I'd tell that doctor that he has my permission to perform any experiments on you that he desires. But since you're not intersex, we'll just forget the whole thing." Sorry Cat Magic, but I don't buy it.
Your chances of undergoing this are tiny. I dont know what you mean by "theories" There were prevailing ideas. No one was performing "experiments" on her.
@@dodgecrockett3474
I'm a bit confused: what about what I said you didn't "buy?" If my own mother shared this with someone, while in my presence, who would anybody in the world be to think or to say differently?? I knew the kind of individual she was and what she believed. Being intersex was one of the things she would not allow, due to a certain degree of ignorance on her part but fostered by the lack of viable approaches on the med community's part.
@@granthurlburt4062
Notions, conclusions, surmises . . . many intersex people were harmed, with one known death, due to doctors not having long termed observational care and investigation on those individuals. It's more logical to allow intersex children to exist as such until they begin to reach puberty (if no harm comes to them in doing such)
Thank you Emily. I cried all the way through. I'm 50, an Australian and inside I have female parts. I found a beautiful lady and was lucky to be able to have two beautiful boy's. I am also a Trans Lady outside I wanted my outside to reflect my inside. But thank you. Also stuff what anyone say's you be the best you you can be.
So does that mean ur a boy or a girl I'm confused
Mate, I'm confused too, so you're saying you're a bloke but live as a trans woman but have female parts inside? Doesn't that mean you're just a cis female?
@@mickeybowmeister1944 Nope
@@PhlanMichellePurss you look male in appearance but you got female parts? I'm aussie too
@@boxeswithfoxes That about covers it.
I'M INTERSEXED! This might be a concept that's hard to imagine.
But if say someone tells me too go and Dorrie myself. I can bend it over and Up she goes. While pluging up the hole in the back.
Can I just give her a long hug and be her friend forever. She seems such a beautiful and peaceful person to be with 😍
I have a good friend just like her, almost the same story too
This is my first time ever even hearing about this. Thank you for educating me. How brave you are. 🌻🦋❤️
That would be scary at 10 years old. I'm so sorry you dealt with that. You are perfect the way you are. I had to go to the gynecologist at 13 because I had a huge ovarian cyst and I was scared to death. I can't imagine dealing with everything you were going through. I'm glad you know now that you are fine the way you are. You aren't broken. I wish I could have been your friend. I would have told you that you are beautiful the way you are.
This was really heartbreaking, you can still see her shame disposition. And for what??What a wonderful person! Come on society! Unreal, I had no clue how common this was. What an amazing and important thing she is doing!!!! Talk about balls indeed! 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
yes, she is amazing. This is how society presses its norms on us in every way...I wish people were all treated with the respect they deserve
This talk took more courage than I will have in my lifetime. Bravo!!
Don't sell yourself short. I believe in you
@@sanctuarydragon9637 ❤️ You have a great soul ❤️
You chose an important and special journey in this life. When you speak I can feel the emotional you who has been through enormous difficulties yet chose to educater journe others like yourself who’ve stood on that same road with extreme anxiety and fear. Courage comes in all sizes and yours is extra large and you should be exceptionally proud of what you are doing for others who are confused as you were. God Bless your journey and keep on shining. 💗
She is a beautiful human being, inside and out, no matter what, that dude who broke up with her missed out big time.
How
@@purpledefaultpfp6233 ooh, they’ve got a troll name too- so edgy lol
not if he was looking for a female with a uterus.
@@skyblanket4000 i think you helped his wish
@@MeatBeatElite idgaf, i commented because i found it funny how painfully obvious they made it
We are spirit, not bodies. Look deep within our souls to be kind. That's all that counts. Emily did this.
Thank you.
I'm glad you're one of the few that realises this.
Truth!👊🏽🙏🏽
No
"Spirit" means "breath". Consciousness is an emergent property of the brain. So yes, we ARE our bodies. You don't have to invent some concept of a separate entity called a spirit or soul to be compassionate and accept and appreciate other people as they are.
well, technically all your brain really is is interwoven paths of neurons firing electricity to control a consiousness, and emotions are basically chemicals making those structures behave in different ways. meaning, no, we are not spirit. Just a buncha atoms and cells in a complex structure of these things. Meaning, just be careful with this structure as you only get one, and try to use it to it's fulles extent until the day you perish into a cycle of life and death.
I once saw something in a post somewhere about not all intersex people wanting to identify within the lgbtq+ community, and I didn't get it. I thought I knew all this stuff because I had done surface level research and am really good at filling in the blanks, but this video made me realise that I didn't really know anything about intersex people and the struggles they went through. My transphobic father sent this to me to try to convince me NOT to get top surgery, but he missed the real message. Never let anyone tell you what you do or don't need to do to feel comfortable and safe in your own body, be unapologetically yourself and never let anybody tell you who you are, because only you know that
" The only thing that truly needs to be fixed is the way we treat people who are different from us." 💯
Thank you for sharing your story, its been so moving to watch and hear your experience. Its beautiful in so many ways and actually reminds me of a poem by Shane Koyczan called 'To This Day'. Your tenor and rhythmic way of speaking feels so poetic and moving, it brought my to tears. My heart goes out to you, I know the other Intersex kid/adults will be so grateful to hear you being so open about your life. But remember, you are perfect exactly as you are and you are loved by so so many. Thank you for being you and for all that you do. Thank you ❤
A line from "The Accountant" "To a lot of people Different is scary." that's the problem.
An absolutely BRILLIANT TED Talk! Much love, strength and peace, from Country Victoria. Australia. X
thank you for sharing your story. i know the courage it must have taken to bare your soul.
i'm sorry for the judgements from the world and the fear of rejection you carry
i'm sorry for the medical establishment being inadequate, intrusive, and mostly counter indicated for your health
stay strong and know that many relate to your pain and are glad that you shared
thank you
The courage you have to even get up on that stage to begin with is astounding! Then to begin to listen to your story and learn for the first time about being intersex was humbling for me. I tried to pretend I was intersex and see how I would handle that. I couldn't! You are special, unique but above all you are human and a girl. Your strength is out of this world. To Be yourself and shout it to the world thereby educating others is so very special. Thank you for educating me
I had never ever heard of this before, but so happy for her to speak out and tell the world about it. I will explain to my kids also
If more people had the courage that this amazing woman has, the world would be a much better place! Because of insecurity, we obsessively put so much time and effort and money into APPEARING flawless. That does not help people bond, nor does it help people heal, it instead keeps us isolated in guilt and shame and feelings of inadequacy. Have the BALLS to share your FLAWS!
I'm so glad you found your way with this and did this talk. You realise how many people you helped out ? A lot !
Stories like this are so inspiring. They tell us everyone is unique. So treat everyone with respect and compassion. The ones that can't deal with it - they are the ones who should be seeing doctors.
True, but there are nowhere near enough doctors, and why would you think they'd be any more competent than this person's gynecologists?
@@justgivemethetruth I was referring to Head Doctors, like a psychologist?
@@stu4ny85
Yeah I know ... you must think their number and competency are greater than I do.
@@justgivemethetruth Not so much that, but to make a point. Not enough open minds on this planet.
People don’t deserve to be disclosed to. Just take care of yourself. She is courageous and generous for the sake of others like her.
If you're dating someone and having children is important to them, then yes, they deserve to know that you can't have kids. But that's it. You don't have to disclose your situation to every single person you meet.
I am so sorry you were mistreated, literally and figuratively.💞 I have always felt different, and I am drawn to people who are different. I knew from a very young age I never wanted to reproduce, to me your body is perfect! I would have given anything to be spared the pain, annoyance and impending doom of menstrual cycles. The Curse always seemed the appropriate description to me. In my eyes you were the luckiest person in the world.💝🙏💜 Thank you for sharing your story to help others appreciate differences.
Thank you! This was very helpful. It is painful to see that people, even people who should know better, want to fix someone, who doesn't need to be fixed. Like it is not okay to be who you are. There are many reasons that these kind of things happen, but one of them is lack of knowledge that people who are different than the majority also want to feel welcome and accepted, even if they are not "fixed" to be like everyone else. I hope this video helps to spread that insight in humanity. Oh, and of course every one who think they need to be fixed themselves (like me) who are okay, just as they are!
One of the bravest, most inspiring and truly human TED Talks I've ever seen. Thank you Emily for your courage, your clarity, and your wise compassion. You are bringing much needed light into this world. "The only thing that needs to be fixed is how we treat people who are different than us." Amen!
This talk was truly beautiful and inspiring!
I'm deeply touched by your amazing courage and strength! Thank you so much for sharing your story, and for shining a light on the darkness of shame and secrecy with truth, authenticity, and self love. You are perfect, and so beautiful, just as you are! 💗
Thank you for clarifying the dangerous position that anything different is bad. Change does need to happen.
Thank you for telling your story. You are an inspiration to me and many others. I am so sad that you had to experience so many years of pain and suffering due to so much societal ignorance. Your bravery will help so many people.
The last sentence sums up the entire problem. Thanks, Emily!
🤣🤣 lol oddly blunt but... factual haha
Wow! I am glad I listened to you. I didn't know this existed. Thank you for sharing your story!
Emily, congrats on having the courage to do talks like these and spread awareness. I had no clue that such a condition existed. Now, thanks to you I do. So you ARE making a difference! Your perfect man is out there and I pray that you find each other. You deserve a good man and I wish you the best!
Your chosen perfect partner, whatever gender you choose - not necessarily the 'opposite' one.
You are the pinnacle of humanity.
Beautiful, smart, empathetic, and kind. Any decent and evolved human being would honored to have you in his or her life.
When nature is perfected, it has no need to be replicated. You are beautiful.
I get the being tired. Tired of being an object of scientific curiosity. Tired of having to "educate" those who are supposed to already be educated - so called experts.
Same here. I have a very rare heart defect, and it's only been the last few years that my other doctors (non-cardiologists) don't insist on listening to my heart and having all their colleagues come in to listen, too.
Where exactly are these experts supposed to learn about fairly rare conditions? You're saying that like humanity came with a complete owner's manual that medical experts can just read up ex nihilo, as if there's no need for any discovery process.
@@bpj1805 Well said! It is important that all doctors treat their patients with dignity, but that shouldn't bar curiosity. The scientific and medical literature is never complete. There will always be new wrinkles to learn - particularly about rare conditions. The very first case report on a condition is not going to nail down all of its ramifications (and its whole spectrum of variations) once and forever.
Thanks for sharing your story. You’re courageous Emily.
I'm so glad that you found support and courage to stand up and step into the limelight. I think people like you are truly making the world a better place.
I am so sorry for all that you went through. You are a hero for sharing your story. I had no real ideal about this condition so I appreciate learning about this which now gives me understanding and empathy for people with this condition. You are a wonderful person and I very much appreciate you.