I had my son when I was 18. His mom and I were together for a year after he was born. Things didnt workout. She was abusive. She tried to keep him away from me. I constantly visited but she refuses to open the door everytime. I fought and represented myself in court for 3 years. I saved every receipt, photos, school awards, etc. At first, I was only able to see him on Every other Sundays. Then it turned to every other weekend where he would sleep over. Then I requested for more time. It became every other weekend and every other Tuesday and Friday. The last mediation on May 29, 2013, I requested for every other weekend, monday, Wednesday and Friday. It was approved. From there she started to slowly fade away. She wouldnt show up for the exchange. Got plenty of notes from police officers for a no show. Total neglect. So I took matters into my own. Enrolled him in schools and other activites while I went to work. She would pick him up here and there but there was a time where she forgot to pick him up from school. They called me at 7:00 pm. He was 4 years old at this time. She didn’t reach out for a year. He’s basically lived with me since then. I am 29 now and he’s 11. For any fathers going through something similar, Your child deserves to have a good father. Don’t stop fighting. Whatever it takes.
@@janicejohnson6438 uuuhm if you say so? I just scrolled about 20 comments and none of them are that. The worse I saw was just people explaining a situation where the mother affected the fathers case in court. Which isnt diminishing WOMEN its explaining their situation and how the mother wronged the family. So unless comments are displaying differently for you, you're wrong.
@@lucaleone4331 Most of these comments are men going on a big, self-pitying, crab session about wicked witches that apparently weren't too wicked for them to stick their dicks into. That IS diminishing women, Luca. So, no- Janice is not wrong.
My parents got divorced when I was 3 I think and though there was anger and resentment between them I always knew they loved my sister and me. Thankfully the judge saw that they are both great parents and gave shared custody so I lived one week with my father and one week with my mother. It would have been devastating losing either of them. It is sad that society sees woman as more responsible or more important for a child (at least in a lot of countrys) both parents are important unless one is abusive.
My mother was neglectful when I was young and my father took custody of me. He was a 44 year old man without much experience wth children and he suddenly found himself raising a 6 year old girl all by himself. He really stepped up and I will always be deeply grateful. I loved him more than words can express.
@@joettaharris4230 Just walk behind a so called Family Court and you'll see how women use the state to get rid of fathers I their children's lives. The female can just say he abused me. She can hit him with a shoe and call the police on him amd the police will proceed to arrest tye male and use emergency laws to remove tye man from tye home. I see it daily in my working g life. The judge will say oh yes I know that she was violent against to but ehm tye children takes priority so the female will have primary custody and as there was violence involved, it is better to exclude the male from the situation to diffuse tensions. The man will scream but she was violent. The judge will still say I understand but I want the children to have some semblance of stability and from the facts the female have the best capacity to take primary care of the children. We are not considering the violence for now. Oh dear. Oh I also so order that the payments on the house should continue so that the children have a roof over their heads. Then screams again my income is not enough to take care of two households. The judge will just say its for tye upkeep of the children and its so ordered. If you fail to pay, it's contempt of court and you may receive a custodial sentence. Now the man is disenfranchised. He has only his care to sleep in. I think you have no clue do you?
"Resentment between A husband and wife should never reach the child." Yet, it almost always does. Do you think parents should LIE to their children about what's going on, or try to hide it from them? Do you not think that children learn how to run their own relationships from how their parents handle their own?
Interlocution OP means that a mother and father who resent each other shouldn’t enlist the help of their child to hate the other parent as well. There are situations where mom hates dad, and fills their child’s head with reasons why the child should also hate the father, regardless of their being true or not. It happens the other way around, but not to the same extent. Children see the relationship that their parents have, but the parents shouldn’t put their anger towards each other into their child.
it's funny how society mocks women with "daddy issues" while at the same time refusing to acknowledge the significance of a father's role in a girl's life Edit: yes not just girls but it is more established that boys need strong male role models in their life, and it’s not as vocalized how much girls need the same
Marilyn York (The Speaker in this TED Talk) is the lady who helped save my life and my future. I am an 18 year old boy, and a son to a father who loves me and was able to give me the childhood I needed. I can say with 100% conviction that if Marilyn had not existed my father would not have been able to win against my drug addict, drunk, and criminal mother. Because of her, today I am a cyber security specialist, going into the navy for cryptologic networking. All I can say is that Marilyn York and fathers around the world make MUCH better impacts on the world then just deciding who gets to see the kid. Thank you for saving my life and my future Marilyn. And thank you to my dad for being the father I needed.
I am glad all worked out fine to you my friend. I wish you well, and I hope that you yourself one day in respect the memory of your father, becoming as good as him, if not better, for in this world, good men can never be too many. Stay safe, and good day.
When I divorced in 2002, I insisted my ex get half custody. My friends were baffled, but he was a devoted and active father. The judge would have given me full custody & my ex only every other weekend, but I was adamant he get half. It sure wasn't easy to deal with him, but our child benefitted and that was what counted most.
Judges are financially incentivized to give primary custody, so they can award child support. The federal government subsidizes courts based on the amount of child support they order, under Title IV-D.
Bet you were the one that initiate the divorce too, there's one common thread about women in society, women are only loyal to their own feelings, not their duties, and they are largely what has gone wrong with boys in society today, till you get old and decides it's in your interest to settle, again loyalty to your own feelings and only yours.
@@personreanimation A good mom do not check out of a relationship because she does not feel fulfill, women initiates close to 80% of divorces and they divorce for very different reasons to men, most women divorce not because of abuse but because they don't feel like their marriage is what is all crack out to be, men are loyal to duty and country, which is why you don't expect women to ever dare go on the frontline in war, that's their nature, they only care about their feelings, their own feelings, and that's where their loyalty lies.
This is specifically done. The left has been trying to destroy dual parent and dual income homes. Democrats need degeneracy, because they need victims to sell their narratives.
I can't connect to any of this. My father was toxic, emotionally neglectful, abusive, and opportunistic... and I still have yet to be certain I've ever met a good father. I'm hopeful that there are many... I've just never been certain I've ever seen one.
@@justaconversation3729 let me assure you that they do exist! I am sincerely sorry that you never saw this yourself! I do hope you were able to see something good in your father, and if not, hope there was a male figure that influenced your life in a positive way. Bless you friend!
That's because we are on 2nd 3rd and even 4th generations straight of not having a stable reliable dad in the home. This generation barely even entertains the idea a man will stay and be with his family
This crushed me. I have been fighting for my son since he was one years old. Now he is 4.5 years old. I will never give up. The mom and courts barely let me see him. I have a perfect record, very good job, homes and all the support and love possible for him. I cry every night, sometimes during the day missing him. He looks like me, acts like me and loves me. The courts deny me my boy! The best thing in my life. My father beat me, abused me, starved me, then left me to fend off the world. I did, I grew, I accomplished greatness in full. Then came my son, planned, prayed for. I knew how to be, act, behave and genuinely be there for him. Because my dad was not, he taught me how to really be me for my boy. God I want my boy, God my boy needs me, God please help me help him.
I hope you get your boy back soon. Abide by the court mandates; keep your temper in check so you don't give the mother ammunition to be used against you; and keep fighting in the courts. I wish you luck.
Do one simple thing for your son. STAY ALIVE...but more importantly... LIVE!!!! MY DAUGHTER WAS STOLEN AWAY AFTER A NARCISSISTIC DIVORCE(I DIVORCED HER AFTER SHE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL EVERYTHING FROM ME WHICH BELONGED TO BOTH OF US. SHE NOW PLAYS THE VICTIM AND HAS POISONED MY DAUGHTER AGAINST ME. IT HAS BEEN OVER A YEAR NOW. BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER IS SOON TO BE 19...I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL SHE WORKS THINGS OUT. BUT I AM LEARNING TO LIVE AGAIN WITHOUT HER. P.S. I HAD AN AWESOME BOND WITH OUR DAUGHTER. BUT I WILL NEVER BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH OR SPEAK TO MY EX.
I am gonna say this pal, there is something that curt, the mother or any other person can't take away from you... you will always be the father!!!, no mater what. Keep fighting cause at the end, it will always pay off. I am living prove of that.
My mother did just this- had an affair and listed her husband instead of my biological father on my birth certificate. They divorced shortly after- shocking, I know- and I lost both fathers. I didn't find my biological father until I was thirty, only to find out that he died when I was 18. But I did find that I have a half sister, cousins, aunts and uncles. A whole family who never knew I existed. I'll take what I can get.
Parenting is not a walk in the park.I know what it feels from my life experience,a teen mother at 16, again at 18 and 20 and no marriage or man in sight.I lost the last baby and got married to a different man but never had more children. I'm a widow now reflecting on my life but blessed with a good family. So,my children are named after my husband not after their biological fathers who never saw them. And i think something karmic happens behind the scenes,those who dump their children never succeed in life,others die prematurely. Bless you.
@@Kruxxor the best thing you and your sister are happy.I love your dad for raising up for the two of you and forgetting himself ,which is rare in men. Till today i've never understood why a man can father a child and stand to deny being the parent and the responsibility!
Have you heard of Eddie Vedder, the singer of Pearl Jam? He has a similar story. He, too, was told that his mother's husband was his father but one day, he found out that this wasn't the truth. He began to look for his real father and when he finally found him, it was to late, he had died a few years before. This has traumatized him, severely. Some of Pearl Jam's songs were written about this and I guess the most known song about this is the song "Alive". A lot of people misinterpret the meaning of this song. When he sings "I'm still alive", he's not actually celebrating the fact that he's still alive. When he wrote this song, he was thinking about his real father and thinking "You're dead and I'm still alive, it's not fair". How do I know all this? He talked about this during a show called "VH1's Storytellers".
@@justinamusyoka4986 I totally agree. I also can't understand how a woman could stand herself after killing a child via abortion because it's inconvenient!!
Here's what we also need to realize about this talk: She never tries to take anything away from the women. She just wants men to have the same chances.
@@christinelaloba8869 They also don't have a 'leg up' on prison sentences, where they spend 60% more time in jail when committing the EXACT same crimes. They also don't have a 'leg up' on birth control, where women have 14 and men have 2, one of which is permanent. I can go on about what men don't have a 'leg up' on. Men don't have 'privilege', they have RESPONSIBILITIES.
Same. To the extent referenced in the video where she blocked 100% me just before the birth until she had finished registering the birth weeks later with no father listed. Lawyers told me, it’s so up hill just be happy you don’t have to pay and not see the baby. She moved 300miles away. I drive out once a month for two days. Every month.
This should be really hard for you. Keep strong. I assume that when your daughter turns 18 you can bond more and the mother can't stop you. (And as somebody else here pointed out to me, right now you can still try to connect in any way possible.) You can totally do this bro!
I grew up never knowing my mom. After I was born she relapsed and disappeared. My dad got clean and went back to school. He raised me on his own (well, kind of with help from my grandparents) while getting his life back together. I’m still not sure how it’s affected me growing up without a mom, but I’m forever grateful that I am the reason my dad is the man that he is today. He’s actually a mental health therapist and drug abuse counselor now. Him being able to say that he not only quit abusing drugs while going to college, working full time, and taking care of me has shown me what it truly means to be a man. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to have my dad in my life. Fathers are important.
I actually choked up when she listed the questions fathers can answer, because my dad would know those. Dads are so different from moms, and it’s so important to have that relationship
Me, too. I know the answers to all those things about my son. They are the things that matter to him at his age and nothing matters more to me than him.
LEGENDARYx COW well because mothers want to protect you from the world, and fathers want to prepare you for the world. Nature all gave us a role in this life
Milagros Owens we all know that my friend. That was just political propaganda so they keep Americans focus away from the real problems. In my country we have a expression “you give a women your house she will make it a home” we cannot exists without each other. We need to start take responsibilities as human beings cause if we keep continue like this won’t be any left
“Advocating for fathers isn’t about diminishing mothers.” Truer words than this are rare. We really need to drop this "if you believe something different than me, you are against me" mentality
That’s your western culture. Maybe the person doesn’t want anything to do with you or never even knew of your existence or a myriad of other things that’s not being for you or against you
sadly "if you believe something different than me, you are against me" is part of the ruling class's divide and rule strategy and while those people are on power and using their money and media to push it on us it will take a long time to get past it!
@@DaLoneVoice Sometimes the father doesn't want anything to do with the child. Sometimes the father doesn't even know the child exists. That's part of our culture. Some fathers don't want to be fathers. That's harmful to the children, too.
My daughter was kept from me for six years, I fought for her the entire six years. I had no money to get a lawyer to fight for custody and her mother was very evasive. She would change her number and move constantly to keep me from finding her. I put child support on myself so I could have visitation, when the agreement wasn't upheld the court told me I had to lawyer up and fight to see my daughter. I was working on getting the money when I got the call to get my daughter or the state would take her. This started my six month journey of fighting CPS to get custody. I was granted custody two years ago and I am so grateful to be able to be apart of her life. NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER BACK DOWN! YOUR BABY NEEDS HER DAD! STAY STRONG BROTHA! You'll be in my prayers.
My father will call me to remind me to call my mom on mothers day. My mother almost never reminds me of fathers day. And without a doubt Fathers day is the harder day to remember. Mothers day is blasted everywhere.
Or if somebody makes a list of how guys a great, immediately someone will pipe up , ya but what about girls. Yet if we make a video of how girls are great , no one steps up for guys, You are right on the money , if it's fathers day , they try to turn it into mother's day
My mother, who didn't lift a finger in raising me and my siblings, was miraculously granted full custody during my parent's divorce. Even after MANY witnesses came forward to tell the judge that my father was the only one who raised us, the judge still gave her full custody. I really appreciate this TedTalk. This prejudice played a significant roll in my childhood.
Some of these judges are worthless and some judges did it because of what some of them went through so they took revenge on innocent men. But they reap what they sow for not doing the right thing.
My mother fabricated evidence, stole money from my bank account, fired her lawyer twice, and got a judge thrown out to get her way in my parent's divorce case. My father was offering her an overly reasonable settlement with 80% of assets, 60% of his paycheck as alimony, and she gets primary custody of 5 of 6 children (me being the oldest I was going off to college and therefore no custody provided). She refused and went after every penny my father had and more. Her two lawyers tried to get her to take the settlements offered, but she fired them and the third finally went with everything she said. The judge brought in to replace the first one only seemed to listen to her side even when she fabricated evidence and my father and his lawyer proved she did. She caused both of them to burn through all their assets, and now neither side has any money. My dad is 60 with a poor physical and mental (due to the divorce) medical condition unable to perform physical labour anymore despite that being his career beforehand and because of the poorly handled situation in the courts, he can't pay anything because he has no assets, a minimum wage job that doesn't even pay half the required alimony, the government has taken away his driver's license and passport, so now basically me, his brother, and his mom (my grandma) have to take care of him. Such a classless area of law.
@@Rindiculousfun Back in history, the Romans killed or enslaved all the fathers once they conquered a nation. This way they didn't had to worry about the men in the next generation to become rebellious and being a treat for the empire. Nowadays family courts going by these same tactics.
It blows my mind how my dad won full custody of me in the early 1980's. I haven't thought much of it until becoming a father myself. I think I need to sit down with him and thank him for how hard he fought for me.
This killed a guy I knew. He was one of the best people I ever met. His wife was vicious through & after the divorce. She'd take the kids on vacation on the weekends he was supposed to have them, w/ no warning--just vanished. Once she installed a new SIM card in her daughter's phone so the father's messages wouldn't come through...then she took the kids for a 2-week holiday. The last straw was that he hadn't seen his kids since Christmas 2021. He was supposed to have his children over the weekend of his birthday in April. She disappeared w/ them again, didn't answer his calls. When she finally did pick up & he asked, "Where are the kids?" she said something along the lines of, "If you were a better father you'd know the answer to that question." There was a custody hearing set for the Wednesday following his birthday, but he knew the judge & the laws were biased against him, since he "hadn't spent much time w/ his kids since Christmas" & it looked like he was slacking on his visitation & involvement. He h**ged himself Tuesday night. His last message was a voice message to his daughter, telling her how much he loved her & her brother & how proud he was of them. His note read, "Keiner nimmt meine Kinder weg," "Nobody takes away my children." The ex-wife is my next-door neighbor. He tipped the chair over, but she tied the rope.
Sounds like my son's almost ex, they haven't divorced yet because she's refusing mediation. Yet she's living with another man and has a baby with him. The Court doesn't care even though she has been told not to start another relationship, she did it anyway and does whatever she wants when she wants. 😢 My son and Grandson are the ones who suffer. 💔
But it's the patriarchy that is bad 😅 Women are biologically narcissists designed to protect offspring and themselves and those instincts when allowed free reign will go to lengths that harm themselves and others more people need to wake up and speak the truth.
I'm a single dad. All 3 kids chose to live with me. The most important piece of advice I give to any man is, when going into a divorce get a woman attorney.
@@a.randolph8112 it cost a fortune, but I was able to give the kids what they wanted. The one time we ended up in court we actually got more than we were asking for at the time.
Get an experienced woman attorney, she should be older ..that means she has kids and knows the value of a strong family...she will fight for you tooth n nail
This reminds me of my mother use to say to, "Your dad is great father, but a bad husband, so just because I don't like your dad, doesn't mean I'll ban him from you."
I just turned 13 when my parent's divorced. My mother wouldn't allow me to see my father plus brainwashed me into fear of him. Then she forced me to be adopted by her second husband just to hurt my father. Life was so confusing! Mothers can get so bitter and use their children to hurt their father.
I lost my mom when I was 15. I spent so many years in my grief that I didn't acknowledge the sacrifices and unconditional love I was already getting from my dad. He went above and beyond as a father and no amount of birthday and Father's day gifts and cards will be able to express how much I love and appreciate him
How old are you now? I lost my mom when I was 15 as well. I am 20 now. Wondering if I'm also not acknowledging my father enough. I do respect him a lot, he's the best example I have of what a real man is supposed to be. He did get re-married and I have a step-mother now, but the relationship just isn't the same as it was with my mother. My siblings and I try to make it work though
My mom left when I was 4 and luckily my dad won us in custody. He was rough and hard growing up. A lot of it was because of how hard he worked for me and my sisters. I was the oldest but I respected him so much. He tried to be fair and reasonable but was also strict. He passed away when I was 21 years old from colon cancer at the age of 44. I miss him so much to this very day. One of the last things he told me before he died and I can still see it so vividly was to let go of the hate I held for my mother. That it wasn’t my fault and it was their issues and that as much as o deserve to hate her I had to let it go. And it was hard but it helped me heal so much internally. I still sometimes cry or get tears in my eyes when I think about what he taught me. He died a year before my son was born. Unable to be there to see him and I strive to raise my son the way my dad raised me. And I strive to give him the stability I severely lacked as a child growing up with only 1 parent.
@@velocity7779 is fine. You don't need to love your new mom, but it is important that you remember that him re-marrying doesn't make him a worse dad as long a he still loves you the same and would still go out of his way to look out for you. It is also important to remember that most humans are social creatures and crave romantic company. So keep it in mind. The relationship dies a bit because he now has someone else in his attention spectrum as well. It's sad but such is life.
Wow. Seems like this should be the club of "l5 & lost mom" . I will be a member. And while I lovey dad,and respect him and know that he loves me as much as he can, I still feel that void and am still in depression after 5 years. Nothing makes me happy.
Im a single Dad. I raised my son since he was 10 years old. It's been the toughest 6 years of my life. But then when he called me from school to tell me he's passed his high school exams, I almost cried. God bless Father Support companies and TedX for doing this speech!!!
Trending Worldwide, I feel you. I also raised my son for over ten years. Most of that alone. I can truly say that It is the toughest job, but I love it and would not give anything this world has to offer to change that. I still am bringing him up. Keep up the fight! Don't quit!
I'm a single father and my son is currently 4 years old he lives with me full time I dedicate every free moment I have to his success and well-being I can really appreciate the success that you feel from your child's accomplishments
Maybe if society as a whole stopped treating fathers like they are dispensable, we could see even a slight decrease in men that abandon their children. My dad and grandpa were two of the best people I have ever met and I absolutely needed them while I was growing up and I'm grateful every day they were there every single day. Any mother that would try and deny their child additional love and support from a father that wants to be in their child's life is pathetic. Fathers are just as important as mothers.
i was raised in a christian family and a christian surrounding so i didnt not know about divorce and such things until the age of 8 until i made non christian friends out on the street. i met kids with single parents and i still remember when one of my friends told me, that his father is not his brothers father. i thought he was joking so he explained to me that his mother has had another man before. that was confusing and i went home and told my parents 😅
My mom was abusive, for 15 years no one believed me. DSS didn’t pay attention. My father did want me, in fact when I was 10 he got my brother who was 15. I was stuck with my mom because it was believed I needed a mother’s touch and love. During that 5 year I went to a mental hospital twice, three of my grandparents died, my uncle died and my mothers abuse got worse. I have three scars that are from my mother, one on my wrist I see EVERY DAY. DSS only believed me one I had a psychotic break in a police station. My mom was right outside the door laughing and gossiping. I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD. When I went to my dads, I no longer need everyday medication, I was more social and I didn’t have to be afraid of my mother every second. My mother got away with this for 15 years with it because she was so good at the image. My Dad tried but no one cared until I was in mental hospitals crying for over 5 hours begging them to not send me home and begging for my dad. Dads are extremely important without my Dads support I would not be here. Don’t always believe the mother most the time they are the most abusive. Mine was and I sometimes I still wake up crying in fear that she will punish me for not being a good daughter Edit: I wanted to say thank you for all over your sweet and caring comments. I didn’t want sympathy however I just wanted to spread the importance of people having a father and how mothers can be horrible with children. To update about how I’m doing I’m okay. I’m a lot better than I was with my mother. I still have my struggles but I’m grateful for them due to them helping me understand things better.
@ As far as I know, there is no national requirement for that, although some states have done so, and some companies have done it without being required, but that said... I've worked for companies which provided it (2 weeks usually, compared to 6 for maternity), and every single expectant father I ever met always took it. Usually, they'd delay it for several months to be able to have that significant bonding time a little bit later in development (as the company allowed that two weeks to be taken at any point within 6 months of birth).
Yeah, let's be honest. If it was a man saying this, their opinion won't really be regarded. But there's a few reasons behind that, that kinda make sense I guess
Sure, just remember she didn't defend them in the court of law out of the kindness of her heart, but because she was being paid top dollar, and you can be sure she's getting paid handily for this 15 minute talk too. Such an angel. Let's see a woman defend a man when she's not being slapped in the face with a stack of money. Funny how she also specifies that ALL 9 of her employees are women. Hmmm, discrimination much?
I was given a choice as a teenager...who do you want to live with, mom or dad...joint custody had been a nightmare for years. It was the easiest decision I ever made. I chose my dad and it's the reason why I'm a successful, productive member of society today. My mother was not a good caretaker and my dad did everything in his power to make every effort to be there. It comes down to individual situations, but I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to make the decision for myself.
I have an alcoholic dad, can't really relate to the good memories, but I'll do my best to be a great father. Please, everyone with bad parents, do not inerhit their character, if you didn't have a good childhood, at least do your best to make your kids childhood the best.
Same here, I didn't really have any good father figure growing up from either my step dad or bio dad. So the way I look at it is I'm going to use them as an example of who not to be.
Bad parents are still better than no parents, obviously don’t be a bad parent but if your partner is alcoholic or an addict, get it worked out, because even if you fail it will be better than just leaving them.
@@mj6463 That's what everyone that has no clue how it feels to have "bad parents" say, it's like telling someone with depression to just "get over it bro, everyone has bad days".
@@jameson1239 yeah, if you aren't willing to be present and fully devoting the rest of your life to your child and caring as much as possible, you shouldn't have a child, and that is perfectly fine
h. ann what other point is there? There’s a saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Why then should we remove one of the parent unless it’s for legitimate safety issues? Wouldn’t that just make it less of a village?
"Of course not. It's not a zero sum game." If only that were true. Unfortunately, it's not. It's not economically, it's not emotionally, and it's not socially. The bias in our legal system when it comes to father's rights is astounding. The onus of economic support for a child is almost solely placed on the father. And more so, any man who dares utter the words, "men's rights" is immediately labeled a misogynist, and can have real professional and personal impact from those that get it in their heads to seek to ruin them for their slight against the modern era of feminism.
The crisis of fatherless homes has alot to do with women purposely having children without planning to have the fathers in their lives. If you grew up in a city you saw it all the time. Even though mothers are not diminished they should be held accountable.
@@luisseverino740 Men having an advantage in the workplace doesn't mean it needs to flip when it comes to parenthood. In reality, there are injustices for both genders that need to be addressed. It's a shame we always have to resort to discrimination when trying to solve problems of discrimination.
@@BrunoAnton I largely agree with you. However justice rarely sees fair to the person being asked to give up something...even if it is more equitable for everyone in the bigger picture. Whether it's in the workplace, or at home, creating a balance often means one side will have to lose/give up something for the other side to gain a fairer balance. That's just the nature of reality.
It was very refreshing to hear someone defend the fathers of this world, because there is plenty of really good ones that love their children and are being treated badly by the mothers.
Not only that the state treats us worse. Its sad because they literally can dictate our relationships with our children and that's super fuckin unfair.
This video made me very emotional becuase I am new father, my son just turned one and I havent seen him nearly as much as I want because of his selfish mother.
Except it kind of is, isn't it? The core issue here is where children should go when mommy and daddy divorce. In cases where both parents are equally fit to parent... you have to make a choice. Mom or dad. You literally can't have both. And you may have all kinds of anecdotes about how YOUR father was so great, but generally, women have stronger bonds with their children.
My Dad isn’t one for verbal communication but he knows I love history especially female history. So he gets a Smithsonian magazine monthly finds a female figure, brings it to my attention & hands it to me to read. That’s how I know he’s bonding with me & telling me he sees me. I love my Dad, I know he tries, cares & has always been supportive. Both my parents I know are & have always been crucial in my life and will always be. I’m insanely blessed & know not many have this, so I treasure it greatly.
It's just depressing that people think that fathers don't matter in a child's life. Somehow because the woman bears the child, she's the only one that matters? Not even close.
I WOULD SAY FATHERS MATTER WAY MORE THAN MOTHERS. A MOTHER CAN'T RAISE A HEALTHY BOY INTO MANHOOD. A SINGLE MOTHER WOULD JUST MAKE THE BOY INTO A PATHETIC SIMP.
@@joecooper8527 a mother CAN so long as she herself was raised properly. Say the father died, is it then impossible for a woman to educate a boy into adulthood. Of course. But if a woman doesn't have a right head on her sholders, she won't be able raise healthy girls nor boys.
When I met my husband he was a divorced father of three. His kids lived with their schizophrenic mother several hundred miles away. The courts had awarded her custody because the maternal grandparents were present in the same city. My husband spent every spare moment and spare penny he had maintaining his relationship with the kids. He phoned them at least once a week and made a monthly visit. Often he would make the trip to their far-away city, only to learn that the kids wouldn't be spending their 24-hour weekend or Christmas, with him because some remote uncle had come to visit... But he never gave up, he never forgot the kids, not even when our son was born. Every month until the kids were old enough to take the train alone, we would go visit them with our baby. We spent all our holiday time with them. My husband faced major opposition when one of the children decided to come live with us. Despite the years, he has constantly kept up contact with the three children, who are now all in their 30's. Despite slander and lies from their maternal family, the all really know who their Dad is, how much he loves them, and, most importantly, the fact that he never, never chose to leave them, but was forced to do so by his ex-wife's manipulative parents. This wonderful man is a hero to me, and though he is not perfect, he is a wonderful father. All four of his children adore him. Every child should have this kind of dad.
@@Dantillosos you never overcome it, you must just keep going forward untill you break through it. dont ever give up. after nearly 20 years of my daughters mum trying to cut me out of her life we still have a bond that cant be broken. its worth it in the end, never give up
Calling the mother a schizophrenic is kind of sad. He had 3 children with her. How did she develop schizophrenia? When did she develop it? Did she always have it? This story makes it sound like the mother is a monster, and I'm sure she wasn't. He married her for a reason. What happened?
@@veneratedvixxen But when is the time to discuss men's rights though? Women's rights gets all the spot light so that's why it seems like we only bring it up when yall are talking about your stuff.
Im not even a dad and I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't imagine my life without my dad. I don't think I'd like the man I've become if he weren't here. His presence and lessons have been invaluable.
It's a coordinated attack on fatherhood around the world as part of the plan to undermine the family over the last 50 years. Women hold tremendous power- I've known several women who were only together for a few years with the father, decided "it just wasn't what they wanted", cheated on the father, wanted the divorce and walked away with half of all property plus several thousand dollars a month in child support. This is all romanticised in media, movies and books- Eat Pray Love, etc. The thing is, women aren't happier than they were 50 years ago.
@@boblob2003 Dude what. A coordinated attack around the world? By who? And how/when did they all of them, around the world, together decide to coordinate the same attack? How did that happen? How would something like that even happen? What have you been smoking? Get out of the rabbit hole mate.
@@RUclipsTookMyNickname.WhyNot yes it's worse in Russia, but you're wrong about the world, you can Google stats, women do 2 times more housework and childcare in western countries. So don't flatter yourself, you only want to look equal, but you're still far away from it. But sure thing men often overestimate their input, I can get where you're coming from, that's typical for you.
@@Nitrogenmonoxid And housework I guess is the criteria for contributing to the child's life? lol. How about the fact that fathers overwhelmingly on average provide more to the household monetarily? Just like our caveman days, women were meant to care for their children, men went to hunt and defend their family. Nowadays, we replaced hunting for jobs and "careers", but the social dynamics are all the same. People trying to changing that is trying to change nature in itself.
@@markmiller6111 That is very much untrue in the sense that in the "cavemen days" people lived in far more tribal cultures. Women would actually participate in bigger hunts, too. The classic "family unit" where everyone raises their own children ist actually not all that natural in that context.
I’m not telling it’s the same for everyone, but as a child growing without his father (his choice) I can tell I had to struggle à long time before being really confident in myself and what I’m able to do. My mother is the best, but she was focused on security: her wish to see me safe was stronger than to see me doing something new. If I fall from my bike, she would say « are you ok sweety, do you want to stop and go home? » which is good and lovely, but you also need to hear « get up kid you can do it ». I stopped myself so many times to just try something, telling me I won’t make it and that it would just be « safer » to not even try so you cannot fail. I’m not like that anymore. Now I’m a house dad and my little girl is everything to me, I couldn’t stay away from her even a single day! (Sorry for my bad english)
When my daughter was about 10, her mother left me. We were not married, but a little while after leaving me her boyfriend was filling her head with ideas that made me fear for custody of my daughter. I immediately got a lawyer to draw up custody papers (2 weeks on, 2 weeks off) and child support. I think I caught her off guard with this, because she signed without any fuss. My daughter is now 25, and I don't know how either of us would have survived without that time together for all those years.
@@zapkvr Nothing better than a good woman....nothing worse than a bad one...and no way to tell the difference, deception is their rule of life. Oh that it was so easy to just be more careful when picking a spouse..they are raised to deceive and manipulate in everything they do.
As a divorced dad, I crossed the ocean every July and Christmas to be with my daughter who was secretly taken away to Europe from Canada by her mom. Even then the callous mother gave me a hard time putting conditions on visits. It was the most disturbing time of my life. But my love and devotion to her made no obstacle too hard to overcome. Now my daughter is in her 30s and fortunately living happily in Switzerland working as a biological engineer. Love always finds a way.
Glad that worked out for you! I am stuck in Switzerland , but I have custody of my daughter. My wife tried to screw me twice. Cost me alot financially, but can't put a price on my daughter. Sacrificed many years.
Thank you for staying in the journey w/your daughter!!! The kids always become adults that can change the rules of engagement eventually. God bless you and your family!
No, love does NOT always find a way. You weren't battered by the court system with your ex wife at the handle. Many of us were. Imagine having job after job ripped away from you by a lying ex wife who stalks and haunts you. Imagine having to constantly speak to the police to prove you are a citizen of your country because "someone" calls the police the day before your custody visitation day... Good job bragging about how awesome you are though.
@@marcocastellano2451 I didn't share to get praise. I shared my experience as a survivor of having my ex flee with a 2 year old, then fighting to exercise custody rights, enduring months of longing between visits,, financial and professional sacrifices due to take unpaid leave to be with my daughter, Some have it worse than others, some have it less bad. But we're all victims some way or another.
I married my husband because I knew he’d be a great Dad. 15 years later, I was right. Even if we divorced (won’t happen), he would never leave our kids. He teaches them things I would never think of. Dads matter. ❤️ Edit: I grew up without a father.
I have a lot of respect for a women that sees the point of having a father in a child's life.. Even more so for the woman that grew up without the father 💪🥂
Ditto and I am divorced. He's an excellent father and great co-parent. People need to remember what matters most is what's best for the child and sadly Americans are conditioned to think dads are pointless when they're not.
@@topherh5093 Then you should surround yourself with better women. I have more money & assets than my husband so I’d end up paying him spousal support and/or child support if we split up and it doesn’t matter to me because we both just want the best for our children. All of the money and assets we have accumulated separately and together are for the betterment of our children, grandchildren, and all progeny. Our marriage works well because we share the same values. I hope you find that in your life. ❤️
I’m watching this and reading a few comments in tears as I have gone through a divorce and suffered every psychological difficulty in trying see my kids. I’m 75 now and losing my kids still hurts, the psychological battle didn’t just effect me as my kids were used in that battle by the lies they were told about me. I have a relationship now since their mother died but it’s not that free flowing. Thanks for the work you do supporting fathers as those that care should be allowed to.
I’m sad to admit I have overstepped my role as a mother and restricted my husband have an organic relationship with our children. It’s hard to co-parent. This opened my eyes. My dad was an important role in my upbringing, and I believe my husband is a better dad, I just was stunting it. I’m going to do better by allowing him to do his thing. I feel so embarrassed. This was a really important video for me to watch.
I read your comment whilst I was at work today on my work computer and made a mental note to myself that when I got home I would send you a message. This is one of the most honest things I have read on the internet, for you, to not only think this but to write it down for others to see, I give you total kudos. It takes a lot to admit when we have wronged. Critical thinking is a good way to grow and often leads us to the answers we need to know, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. Keeping your children apart from your husband who is a willing father is a bad long term strategy. Rule 101 about suppressing feelings, they always eventually come back tenfold. Together with your unique qualities, you can both give them the tools to succeed in life. For instance, by doing this, you will be teaching them empathy, that is good trait to learn. Good luck to you and your family.
CatsGTOW I really appreciate your message. I’ve been pretty down about the whole thing. I think I took parenting a little too seriously (we want the best for our kids) to where I was overstepping in situations that didn’t need to be. I’m actually going to my first therapy appointment today with a family counselor to discuss how I can be a better co-parent/mother and respect my husbands parenting even if I don’t agree with it all of the time. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment. I’ll keep your advice in mind during my appointment today. Thank you!!
Before I was even old enough to remember my mom, she demanded a divorce and took my dad to court. She hated working and having responsibilities, but she still wanted custody of me and my sisters. My dad worked all day every day while my mom sat with her face in the computer from sunrise to sunset. It was two of my older sisters who changed my diapers when I was a baby, and they were only 6 and 7 years old. My mom just didn't care. But she still wanted to get back at my dad for "not paying attention to her" even though he had to work all day because my mom didn't want to do anything. So, to get her "revenge," she tried to win over custody and the massive house we lived in. Her plan was to take everything, kick my dad out, and live off of child support that he has to pay while getting a low-effort part-time job. Thankfully, her plan never went into effect. My dad did everything he could to save the marriage because he knew my sisters and I couldn't grow up without a woman in the house. But my mom lost the case because she couldn't prove that she could provide a stable environment for her children to live in. My dad got full custody and my mom disappeared for several years. The last thing she said to my dad was "I hate you for taking my kids away from me." My dad's case was one of those rare cases where the father is the stable one and wins. But if the tiniest circumstances were different, then I fear my mom would have won custody and used me and my sisters as a weapon to manipulate my dad into getting what she wanted. It's sad to see how so many fathers lose the ability to see their children because the mother is narcissistic and selfish. It almost happened to my dad, but happy endings in cases like these are rare and that's upsetting.
I’ve had almost the same experience except my mom won but couldn’t afford to keep the house and we’ve been living at my grandmother’s house for years while my dad has a mansion in Florida
As someone coming from the fatherless side of this equation (Didn't have experiences with him until 16, about to hit my 30s), this is interesting to me. I'm not distraught like a lot of commentors about the lost memories because I'm not even sure what I'm missing hear. Does a man who was born blind weep for his lost sight? How would he even imagine it? It feels strange to think that I'm missing something fundamental to the human experience, akin to being blind or deaf. And it is clear after looking at the statistics that "having a father" clearly is a fundamental human experience or fatherlessness would be so strongly correlated to this 'personality problems'. Really strange to think of myself as 'lacking'.
Society needs to learn that children are valuable human beings in their own right, entitled to both their mother and their father. They are not the property of their mothers.
Yup. As a female, I get so tired of seeing other women (mothers) who believe that only moms matter, or that moms matter far more than dads. For e.g., I can't stand the groups that start with 'Mothers for this...' or 'Mothers again...' as it implies that only mothers care. When I've chided the group organizers for their names, and said 'why don't you just call it 'Parents for this or that...', they get defensive and say 'dads are always welcome to join us', which obviously was not my point. I also tired of Mommy and Me Yoga. Blech! I tire of women who constantly berate men/their husbands, and talk about or refer to them as 'children'.
Ashley Paulsen you sound ridiculous, you realize there are plenty of men who do sooo much for their kids, not all men let the women do more. And the child is half theres & half the moms, not any more or less
@Ashley Paulsen : Did you breed ? If so, what were your core considerations and planning when arriving at your decision to reproduce ? Did you negotiate a plan of shared responsibility with the father that took account of how the economic provisioning for child rearing would be achieved and how that might obviously affect the time a wage earning partner ( mother or father ) might be available for domestic responsibilities ? Making demands based on a simplistic referencing of stats may make for trendy gender political talking points but doesn't necessarily apply or make a lot of sense in complex real world family situations. You sound quite snarky and entitled. Vindictive even with that last line where you label any woman who does not share your rather poisonous outlook a traitor.
@@laurenrothluvshorror if she only wants money, she won't even bother share her thoughts about fatherhood...being a biological parent is different than fatherhood and she gets it...you are a woman, you shouldn't be saying that
@@laurenrothluvshorror They all line their pockets with money. Her specialty is fighting for the underdogs in family/divorce court. It sure would be a lot easier to fight for moms in court.
Grown Simba I think this is one issue among many that face men today. I think it’s antiquated to think that they aren’t valuable as parents. I think more restaurants and stores should have diaper changing stations in men’s restrooms. I just don’t like when someone who is basically doing a commercial for their work that they are paid (probably very well) to do is praised like they’re doing something big for fathers rights. I never said she’s wrong and she’s obviously very smart. Just make sure you always look at things for what they are and not what everyone wants you to see. That’s all I’m saying.
My Dad was killed (US Army) when I was 1 year old leaving my Mother with 4 little boys. She married my Step-Dad when I was 4 and he raised us all as his own. I can't imagine where I'd be without him teaching us how to become Men... We are all married 30+ years with Happy, Healthy Wives, Kids and Grand-kids in large part because he was a Good Dad! .
This is so wrong in so many ways... A child, regardless of their gender, doesnt need a "role like" gender to be one... Because they need to learn how to be a GOOD person.
I grew up with a biological father but he made it very clear through his actions that I was not valued in his eyes. I’m in my 30s and I have cut off all communication and haven’t spoken to him in almost 3 years. Through lots of therapy and self reflection I made the decision to no longer keep in touch with him or his side of my family and I also made a promise to never be that kind of Husband or Father to my family.
Yeah, that's so unfortunate. I will say that it could just be an extended shadow of childhood development. He didn't learn better while perhaps growing without a father.
My father and i never lived together, he is an alcoholic and we had a very rough relationship when i was young. We also went years without talking. Now at 39 i have the best relationship with him that we've ever had. I truly hope you have found peace with your situation, a tough childhood causes scars that will never heal, but there is peace out there. God bless you my friend
@@noma6214 it’s more about the statistics that support the “two parent privilege” philosophy. For example, people are more likely to make more money if they grew up in a two parent home and are way less likely to commit crimes.
This is incredibly accurate. When I was going through my divorce, which took over 2 years! I had to fight tooth and nail to get 50/50 custody with my son. I won't go into details but I went through court ordered mediation and then spoke with several lawyers who told me exactly what she said, "you should consider every other weekend and maybe a night visit a victory as a male". I wanted to work everything out with her but she held all the power. It was a nightmare. I've cried more in the past 2 years than the rest of my life combined. We hold literally the same job, same benefits, schedule, and retirement (both teachers). Even still I pay child support and I gave up half my retirement. I wish I could say that was all I was forced into. I'm not asking for attention of pity I'm telling you this is accurate. I was told again and again give in because you need that custody to go through. Kids need fathers, as a teacher I see this again and again. Don't believe it? What's your jobs paternal leave for fathers look like?
I'm incredibly sorry to hear that... from a 17 year old who has lived with everyother weekend for 7 hours with my Dad since I was 3, please, do everything you can to make your son know thst you love him with all your heart, soul, and mind. My Dad has lived a hard life, barely scratching together enough money for even himself, but he has made sure that my brother and I know he considers us a part of him, and that he loves us unconditionally, and *that*, I think, is the greatest service a divorced father could do for his kids.
And the fight is not over yet! I had joint custody for both of my daughters. The courts ruled that their mother had primary residence and I would got to restrict my ex from moving my children away from me. Their mother decided that since she couldn’t move them away from me then she would not allow me to have them for my time dictated by the COURT ORDER.Primary custody meant I had to pay her support, and it was pay or go to jail. When I went to pick them up and she told them they were not allowed to go with me I would get the police involved and they told me they were not going to do anything and the order is not enforceable. I would have to go back to court to get a court order to be able to see my kids.
@@KINGDAE48 Some people bring out their worst sides after, or during, a divorce. My brother hasn't seen his first kid more than a handful of times from when she was about two to now, almost twenty years later. The mother actively counter-acted all attempts at meeting, or even staying in touch via SMS, including confiscating the child's phone.
When my parents divorced when I was 6 years old, it was in the divorce papers that neither one could move more than 5 miles away from each other and I am forever grateful.
Well, it was more less a contingency plan. My parents were always on good terms, a few times I'm sure they were over 5 miles, but never too far. Usually on opposite side of town but close enough.
@@decayingbutbiscuit , i'm with you on this, my dad lived on the other side of the US, and while i was still in contact with him i've always wanted nothing more than to live closer to him.
My stepfather got custody of his two sons because his ex-wife was a drug addict, and it was still a ridiculous battle for him. But he fought because he knew it was the right move for his children. And when he got married to my mom, he continued to show me how a good man takes care of his family. So I grew up knowing what kind of man I would look for in a husband and father to my own children. And I hope my stepbrothers grew up knowing how to raise their own children. Dads are important, as models for their own boys and girls, and the men who watch him take care of them.
I didn't have a good father. But my husband is a great father. And I truly would NEVER deprive my kids of their father. Props to the great dads out there!
Rita... Ephesians 5:25 - "husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church". The teamwork of a healthy marriage impacts a child's growth exponentially. The mental and emotional support a husband can give his wife will blossom into a very healthy marriage, which in turn produces mentally and emotionally healthy children. Your words are heart warming and encouraging. On behalf of the fathers our there who actually enjoy being fathers...thank you!
Im not going to lie, I have many times felt guilty for having such an amazing dad. I would catch my self talking about my dad and then realizing my friend doesn't have a dad, and I would just feel like I was selfish or something. Its terrible realizing that one of the best parts of your life is something that so many people will never have.
@lolao4311 he loves us. He wants to be around. He wants us to be involved in what he is doing and vice versa. He and my mom homeschool us. He discipled us in the word of God. And he sacrifices his time, money, comfort, and energy for our betterment. He has his faults. He is stubborn, irritable, proud, blunt, etc... But love covers a multitude of sins. And he has shown over the years that he genuinely cares about our physical emotional and spiritual well-being, even if he doesn't have all the answers or best reactions or makes mistakes.
My father had to give up everything he gained during his 10 year marriage so he could have joint custody with his ex, who still forbade us from seeing him for almost 4 years. That only changed when she kicked me out and i got back into contact with him, and he came to get me in the middle of the night. Fathers are so underrated
@@27rykou Nah, not just that one instance, 4 years of being severely physically and mentally/emotionally abused by her showed me why he couldn't handle her.
I picked up my son 3 years ago after he turned 18, his mom wasnt getting $$$ anymore and stopped loving him. He's been here ever since. I am no saint but i love my son
Right? To be socially and personally torn apart by my children's mother and have society take her side every single time, every time. No one wants to hear my side, no one cares. Mom good, dad bad. End of story.
During my custody trial, my ex was dating a guy who had a criminal record. My lawyer and I successfully petitioned the court to access the criminal record since it shows how he treats other people and is an insight into his personality as he is around my daughters. Turns out he had two incidents against his own children. Anyways, in the end, I got full custody.
Why do men come on here and lie? I have been through the ringer had GREAT lawyers and the fact is NO you wouldn't get full custody for the scenario you talk about. NEVER. But more importantly why make it up? What do you get from that. You are only giving men false hope they may see their kids again.
@@miketyson3824 It's true. I've the court papers to prove it. Both my daughters are now 21. I not only had a great lawyer but I also documented any and every interaction I had with my ex during custody so in court I could give the exact date AND time of any interaction. I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not lying.
Haven't had contact with my daughter in over 10 years now, even after winning 16 court cases. An idea for you, dad who doesn't have contact with your kid: register your kid's full name as a domain. Put up a simple wordpress blog website and write to your son or daughter. Keep it positive, don't mention your ex or any negativity, positive stories only! That way, what ever happens, he/she will at some point read your stories and make up their own mind about what has happened. Stay strong, dad's! Our kids need us, and they need us strong 👊🏼
This is gold. Thank you. I work with fathers and I suggested to a few to create a journal and give it to them on their 18th birthday. This is better because we all google our names at some point. Great process.
I grew up from a broken family. My mom aggressively brainwashed me and my sister about how terrible our father was. I never understood what a great man my dad was till my late 20s. Now I hate my mom. She almost ruined my life. Now, I just live alone coz I don't wanna deal with dramas. Over the years of making bad decisions, my dad was the one who always told me to move with him when i'm in trouble. Now that im grown up and learned from my mistakes, im proving to my dad that i can take care of my self so he doesn't have to worry. I am now independent.
@@TheBatTech Unfortunately my father died when I was 10. I never saw him cry. That said, he was very old world, emigrated here when he was 19, born in 1940, etc.
@@jtg1972 She talked about thinking back to my father and all i could think about was when he would beat my autistic brother. Wealthy lady means well but damn shes lucky to talk like that. Nothing is owed to you, always remember that.
I’m a single father who received full custody of my two daughters through divorce. Not many men get the opportunity as I did and that’s the truth of how unfair the justice system is.
I was divorced by my wife in 1978. We had three girls. She wanted custody of two of the girls, not our middle girl. She took one daughter with her and moved to a different state, but she expected her oldest daughter, whom I adopted, to go and stay with her after the school year to live with her. After a few months her live in boyfriend slapped our youngest daughter's face such that her teacher noticed it. The teacher reported it and my ex asked me to take care of her until she got "her feet back on the ground". So I flew her back to me and her other two sisters, grand-parents, and I met her at the airport. The daughter I adopted chose to stay with me even though I was not her natural father. After that I raised all three myself. I am not bragging, but I wish more men had the courage and opportunity to do this, because sometimes the mother is not the better parent.
Good on you bro, YOU ROCK! God Bless You! I struggled to spend time with my daughter for over 14 years after my ex jipped me in divorce court when I was a young dad at 25 and my daughter was 3. Now the dissfuction and alienation continues as my daughter is now 31 and won't let me spend time with my two grandchildren. She won't even call me. I also grew up without my dad who moved to Texas when I was 5 and never called me! Luckily I had a Grandpa that truly loved me.
I always feel happy when I see messages like this. Fathers have always been portrayed as the bad one, but little do they know there are ones who are like you. Bravo!
I saw this video years ago and it made me cry. Seeing it again now it still makes me cry. My battle to be a part of my kids' lives has been very challenging, but I am more than present. I am always there for them and they know it. Thank you for this video. The world needs law reform, more present fathers, and more women like you.
Having a woman speak these truths is the only way some people will truly hear these truths. I'm not shocked. It's the same for racism or any other bias/prejudice. Only when the other side starts to talk about it, does it change for the better.
It is not shocking at all. Because nobody is listening to men in our society. We are portrayed as incompetent idiots in popular culture. Have you seen the Simpsons, Family Guy, car commercials, etc.? The man is portrayed as a complete moron and the woman as the smart, industrious, collected individual. Yes, it will take a woman to raise these issues in order to be heard. I'll take it.
My mother left when I was 6. I did not see her again for 10 years. My father had to take 8 parenting classes and my sisters and I had to take a few classes also for some reason. My father's check was garnished for not paying child support to my mother who was nowhere to be found and was not raising us. And when he corrected it they charged him a fee to return only 75% of his money. And the courts would not give my father custody for 3 years because they wanted my mother to have a chance to come to court and let them know she would not take us. This was my experience with the custody courts
@Captain James T. Kirk Yes but very few enforce those laws. In the UK laws are rarely repealed, but more often lapse from enforcement. Otherwise all men of fighting age would have a long bow, and would be doing at least two hours archery every Sunday. :-)
11:00 I can't express how grateful I am to hear this information from another person. Many years ago, in college, I did a paper on this very topic surrounding the information located within the timeline I previously tagged. While I did well on the paper from a grading standpoint; the professor was less than pleased with the area my paper covered, and expressed dissatisfaction/disappointment with the context supporting the rights of fathers and the fair/cordial communication between estranged parents.
I remember working at McDonald's when I was 16. I was cleaning tables in the dining area. While I was cleaning a table I looked up at the family sitting there and it was my father, his wife and two brothers I didn't know I had. They did not recognize me and I was standing in front of them. Imagine what's it's like for your father to not know what you look like. My mother blocked us from seeing him. After I graduated high school (child support went away) my mother quickly exited by life. I developed a relationship with my dad and his new family and they all moved close to me.
@@matchley500 When I was 10 I was living with my mom in San Diego. She got mad at us threw me and my brother in the car with our clothes and 150 miles to Thousand Oaks and dumped us off at our dads apartment and drove away. She didn't tell my dad. We sat in from of his door for hours with no food, water or money. A neighbor asked why we were there and we said waiting for our dad. This was before cell phones. She asked where he worked and called his office. He was on a business trip across the country. One of his coworkers came over and took care of us until he could get home. We didn't hear from our mom for over a year. I have more bad stories about her. Today I have 16 year old son that is having the best childhood ever and he has never met my mom.
@@rayj310 That is truly awful. So so wrong. From one man to another, Im so proud and encouraged that you survived. May your children know the love you should have known.
@@silentj1022 I surround my son with good people. My son is having the best childhood ever. He has 20-30 good friends, involved in sports, good grades. My house is the hangout house always filled with his friends. We have had 40 kid water fights where we used over 2,500 water balloons. The record was a 15 boy sleepover. I have only 1 goal, raise a good kid.
I agree with all but "No one cares about the fathers." This lawyer is fighting for the fathers. Other lawyers are fighting for the fathers. I'm a single mother of two boys from two different men. One of my children is with his dad upon a mutual agreement between me, him and his family. My other child, I don't really want to speak about his dad and I should leave that at that. Wish you luck with whatever you're going through and whichever your battle is.
What? Father's have always been the parents who gives their names to the children while the mothers bear all the pain of giving them birth & nurturing them...father's provide financial support, mother's bears them in their womb for 9 months, bears the excruciating physical pain to give birth & continuous nurturing and also financial support these days. but her name is never added to her own children. Father's have always been the head of the family fir no reason... completely making the mother and her contribution in the structure of a family secondary... historically that has been the norm ..and you say none care about fathers???
@@barnaliadhikary9421 All you've done is list the responsibilities of a father. You are yet to elaborate on how anybody cares about them. The normal case is, fathers are the ones who have to figuratively bend over backwards to provide for the kids, and the mother, till the kids are in their early 20s and are independent (20+ years) while the mother keeps using "I carried them in my womb for 9 months" as a defense to everything. A father can literally lay down his life to save his child and you'll still hear the mother say, "well, I carried him in my womb for 9 months". Lol. PS: Female children get named after the mother too, or grandmother
@@barnaliadhikary9421 I'm sorry that your experiences have put blinkers and coldness on your heart, developed an expectant and entitled mindset, and nurtured lack of empathy towards men. Men feel pain, a great deal of it. Perhaps it would be better for men if you told them this view of yours on the outset of meeting them. I pray your heart warms one day, and that other women of similar outlooks dont hurt your boys, and instead treat them with compassion and appreciation rather than expectation and obligatory role-assignment. Keep well.
@@IbrahimHassanDayTrade Yeah goodluck finding a women like her. The chances of finding a high value women like her is like finding a needle in a haystack
@@alex1311t so true homie ngl that’s straight fax 📠 I don’t smell and cap 🧢 I don’t where I could find these lol I guess beauty doesn’t matter anymore it the inside of the person that really matters
She's a lawyer, so she's used to talk in public and articulate things. Plus, she had weeks to prepare this speech and years of experience in what she's talking about to sound clever and relevant. I think people tend to be too easily impressed by unspontaneous performances. If you were used to talk in public like me you'd probably know that there's a day and night difference between a spontaneous performance and a well prepared scholar intervention. In those favorable conditions, performing well is not an indicator of intellignece, only of how she finally mastered the subject she does as a living (which is logical and normal on the long run, after a decade or two always facing the same problematics). Here I will not discuss too long about the "Halo effect" either, which makes you more likely to value her globally higher because she's hot. However, I'd be curious to see how people like her handle mathematics or engineering for example, the kind of topic where hours of repetition cannot compensate high IQ when difficulty levels becomes high enough. Real long term economical growth is created by innovation and engeneering, and so does purchasing power follow as well, permitting litterary persons like her to take advantage of all this brillant creative person's inventions to simply learn and recite law texts by heart as a living. I'm always impressed of how deep American civilizatin idealises "memory" skills like lawyers, doctors, notarios or accountants, forgetting that all their jobs and effectiveness only exist thanks to the really smart and creative minds who do invent engines, internet, architecture, electricity systems, chimestry or computers...
@@epicvideos6227 ok, lets not discriminate against lawyers just because they operate differently... Sure, maybe they get more praise than other professions, but that doesn't mean that either is smarter or more capable. Just different. She is clearly a professional who is confident in what she believes in and is making changes.
And that’s why kids need both. The differences come together to make a whole. It won’t be perfect (cuz it’s being done by human beings😂) but it’s sure as heck better then having one half of the whole.
I was awarded custody of my three sons when they were 6 (twins) and 11. Their mother has a horrible disease, called alcoholism. After her third conviction for DUI/DWI, I knew it was time. I went to neighbors, friends, teachers, anyone that would write a statement on the behalf of my sons. I contacted my divorce attorney, who is a woman. We built a solid custody case. I was only asking for temporary custody until my ex-wife could demonstrate sobriety and responsibility. When the date of the custody hearing came, my attorney told me to relax and stay home. She said I didn't have to attend. The judge awarded me permanent custody. The year was 2003. I had to employ live-out Nanny's for nearly 9 years, due to my job, which involves weekly travel 3-4 days per week. My eldest son is an Air Force officer in pilot training and my twin boys still live at home working and studying and figuring out their future. They will do fine. They are all great young men, smart, kind and loving.
Fought and won full custody of my boys in Nevada back in 2011. They provided her with attorneys to help her while the kids and I were alone to fight and survive alone. Nice to see laws changing but they still have a long way to go when men are fighting for their lives and their children’s lives against lies and state appointed attorneys.
I had my son when I was 18. His mom and I were together for a year after he was born. Things didnt workout. She was abusive. She tried to keep him away from me. I constantly visited but she refuses to open the door everytime.
I fought and represented myself in court for 3 years. I saved every receipt, photos, school awards, etc. At first, I was only able to see him on Every other Sundays. Then it turned to every other weekend where he would sleep over. Then I requested for more time. It became every other weekend and every other Tuesday and Friday.
The last mediation on May 29, 2013, I requested for every other weekend, monday, Wednesday and Friday. It was approved.
From there she started to slowly fade away. She wouldnt show up for the exchange. Got plenty of notes from police officers for a no show. Total neglect.
So I took matters into my own. Enrolled him in schools and other activites while I went to work. She would pick him up here and there but there was a time where she forgot to pick him up from school. They called me at 7:00 pm. He was 4 years old at this time. She didn’t reach out for a year.
He’s basically lived with me since then. I am 29 now and he’s 11.
For any fathers going through something similar,
Your child deserves to have a good father.
Don’t stop fighting.
Whatever it takes.
Thanks for being a great Father!
Keep up the good fight
Wow! What a story. If your son knows how much you fought for him that sets a great example for his future.
Thank you for fighting that uphill battle.
@@thetruehuman4390 She was abusive. People need *good* parents.
No mom > Abusive mom.
"Advocating for fathers isnt about diminishing mothers." Thats a fckn statement that should always be remembered.
Seriously. I don’t understand how people cant handle two things at once
Then why are they diminishing women?? Almost every comment here is a man diminishing a woman.
@@janicejohnson6438 uuuhm if you say so? I just scrolled about 20 comments and none of them are that. The worse I saw was just people explaining a situation where the mother affected the fathers case in court. Which isnt diminishing WOMEN its explaining their situation and how the mother wronged the family.
So unless comments are displaying differently for you, you're wrong.
@@lucaleone4331 Most of these comments are men going on a big, self-pitying, crab session about wicked witches that apparently weren't too wicked for them to stick their dicks into. That IS diminishing women, Luca. So, no- Janice is not wrong.
@@janicejohnson6438 You are quite right, Janice. The so-called mens movement is nothing more than identity politics at its most vile.
This woman is a treasure. My divorce attorney was a woman... No one represents men better than a woman who loves her father. God bless them all,
My parents got divorced when I was 3 I think and though there was anger and resentment between them I always knew they loved my sister and me. Thankfully the judge saw that they are both great parents and gave shared custody so I lived one week with my father and one week with my mother. It would have been devastating losing either of them. It is sad that society sees woman as more responsible or more important for a child (at least in a lot of countrys) both parents are important unless one is abusive.
That was really sweet of you to say
John Thomson
Well said, sir.
John Thomson yup she is a treasure! Sad 😭 though that your child's mom could not be a treasure for you and children!
Good observation very true
My mother was neglectful when I was young and my father took custody of me. He was a 44 year old man without much experience wth children and he suddenly found himself raising a 6 year old girl all by himself. He really stepped up and I will always be deeply grateful. I loved him more than words can express.
✊️❤️
Tell that to the Family Courts and they'll tell you to get out of here.
Loved? Did he pass away?
The fact that your father had to take custody shows that he was also neglectful. Sounds like he had no choice but to take you.
@@joettaharris4230 Just walk behind a so called Family Court and you'll see how women use the state to get rid of fathers I their children's lives.
The female can just say he abused me.
She can hit him with a shoe and call the police on him amd the police will proceed to arrest tye male and use emergency laws to remove tye man from tye home.
I see it daily in my working g life. The judge will say oh yes I know that she was violent against to but ehm tye children takes priority so the female will have primary custody and as there was violence involved, it is better to exclude the male from the situation to diffuse tensions.
The man will scream but she was violent. The judge will still say I understand but I want the children to have some semblance of stability and from the facts the female have the best capacity to take primary care of the children.
We are not considering the violence for now. Oh dear.
Oh I also so order that the payments on the house should continue so that the children have a roof over their heads. Then screams again my income is not enough to take care of two households. The judge will just say its for tye upkeep of the children and its so ordered. If you fail to pay, it's contempt of court and you may receive a custodial sentence.
Now the man is disenfranchised. He has only his care to sleep in.
I think you have no clue do you?
Resentment between A husband and wife should never reach the child.
It did for me. I hated my dad til I realized that my mother imprinted all of her insecurities onto me.
"Resentment between A husband and wife should never reach the child." Yet, it almost always does. Do you think parents should LIE to their children about what's going on, or try to hide it from them? Do you not think that children learn how to run their own relationships from how their parents handle their own?
Interlocution OP means that a mother and father who resent each other shouldn’t enlist the help of their child to hate the other parent as well. There are situations where mom hates dad, and fills their child’s head with reasons why the child should also hate the father, regardless of their being true or not. It happens the other way around, but not to the same extent. Children see the relationship that their parents have, but the parents shouldn’t put their anger towards each other into their child.
@@soppingwetburgers6493 same... Having a schizophrenic mom is hard to deal with when you are young.
Too late.
it's funny how society mocks women with "daddy issues" while at the same time refusing to acknowledge the significance of a father's role in a girl's life
Edit: yes not just girls but it is more established that boys need strong male role models in their life, and it’s not as vocalized how much girls need the same
Lydia Smith in a CHILDS LIFE. MEN need fathers too
Of course
Nobody refused to acknowledge that. Sorry.
Say it louder for the ones in the back
First Last did u even watch the video...? If they don’t refuse to acknowledge it then society is knowingly undervaluing it
Marilyn York (The Speaker in this TED Talk) is the lady who helped save my life and my future. I am an 18 year old boy, and a son to a father who loves me and was able to give me the childhood I needed. I can say with 100% conviction that if Marilyn had not existed my father would not have been able to win against my drug addict, drunk, and criminal mother. Because of her, today I am a cyber security specialist, going into the navy for cryptologic networking. All I can say is that Marilyn York and fathers around the world make MUCH better impacts on the world then just deciding who gets to see the kid. Thank you for saving my life and my future Marilyn. And thank you to my dad for being the father I needed.
I am glad all worked out fine to you my friend.
I wish you well, and I hope that you yourself one day in respect the memory of your father, becoming as good as him, if not better, for in this world, good men can never be too many.
Stay safe, and good day.
Wow!
That is amazing 👏🏼 I'm really happy for you, man. Marylin is definitely a fking G
That’s wonderful to hear kiddo and I’m sure someday you will make an excellent father, too.
That's incredible dude! I wish you good luck in life.
When I divorced in 2002, I insisted my ex get half custody. My friends were baffled, but he was a devoted and active father. The judge would have given me full custody & my ex only every other weekend, but I was adamant he get half. It sure wasn't easy to deal with him, but our child benefitted and that was what counted most.
W.
Judges are financially incentivized to give primary custody, so they can award child support. The federal government subsidizes courts based on the amount of child support they order, under Title IV-D.
You are a good mom
Bet you were the one that initiate the divorce too, there's one common thread about women in society, women are only loyal to their own feelings, not their duties, and they are largely what has gone wrong with boys in society today, till you get old and decides it's in your interest to settle, again loyalty to your own feelings and only yours.
@@personreanimation A good mom do not check out of a relationship because she does not feel fulfill, women initiates close to 80% of divorces and they divorce for very different reasons to men, most women divorce not because of abuse but because they don't feel like their marriage is what is all crack out to be, men are loyal to duty and country, which is why you don't expect women to ever dare go on the frontline in war, that's their nature, they only care about their feelings, their own feelings, and that's where their loyalty lies.
"Fathers are crucial, yet laws and society undervalue their importance in their children's lives." - This is impactful.
This is specifically done. The left has been trying to destroy dual parent and dual income homes. Democrats need degeneracy, because they need victims to sell their narratives.
As someone who never had a father because of his death, I sense the need of my father when moments are getting tough, or when I’m losing my will.
I can't connect to any of this. My father was toxic, emotionally neglectful, abusive, and opportunistic... and I still have yet to be certain I've ever met a good father. I'm hopeful that there are many... I've just never been certain I've ever seen one.
@@justaconversation3729 let me assure you that they do exist! I am sincerely sorry that you never saw this yourself! I do hope you were able to see something good in your father, and if not, hope there was a male figure that influenced your life in a positive way. Bless you friend!
That's because we are on 2nd 3rd and even 4th generations straight of not having a stable reliable dad in the home. This generation barely even entertains the idea a man will stay and be with his family
This crushed me. I have been fighting for my son since he was one years old. Now he is 4.5 years old. I will never give up. The mom and courts barely let me see him. I have a perfect record, very good job, homes and all the support and love possible for him. I cry every night, sometimes during the day missing him. He looks like me, acts like me and loves me. The courts deny me my boy! The best thing in my life. My father beat me, abused me, starved me, then left me to fend off the world. I did, I grew, I accomplished greatness in full. Then came my son, planned, prayed for. I knew how to be, act, behave and genuinely be there for him. Because my dad was not, he taught me how to really be me for my boy. God I want my boy, God my boy needs me, God please help me help him.
Create some evidence against her and sue
I hope you get your boy back soon. Abide by the court mandates; keep your temper in check so you don't give the mother ammunition to be used against you; and keep fighting in the courts. I wish you luck.
Do one simple thing for your son.
STAY ALIVE...but more importantly...
LIVE!!!!
MY DAUGHTER WAS STOLEN AWAY AFTER A NARCISSISTIC DIVORCE(I DIVORCED HER AFTER SHE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL EVERYTHING FROM ME WHICH BELONGED TO BOTH OF US. SHE NOW PLAYS THE VICTIM AND HAS POISONED MY DAUGHTER AGAINST ME. IT HAS BEEN OVER A YEAR NOW. BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER IS SOON TO BE 19...I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL SHE WORKS THINGS OUT. BUT I AM LEARNING TO LIVE AGAIN WITHOUT HER.
P.S. I HAD AN AWESOME BOND WITH OUR DAUGHTER. BUT I WILL NEVER BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH OR SPEAK TO MY EX.
I am gonna say this pal, there is something that curt, the mother or any other person can't take away from you... you will always be the father!!!, no mater what. Keep fighting cause at the end, it will always pay off. I am living prove of that.
Mahadev will help you. Just don't give up.
My mother did just this- had an affair and listed her husband instead of my biological father on my birth certificate. They divorced shortly after- shocking, I know- and I lost both fathers. I didn't find my biological father until I was thirty, only to find out that he died when I was 18. But I did find that I have a half sister, cousins, aunts and uncles. A whole family who never knew I existed. I'll take what I can get.
Parenting is not a walk in the park.I know what it feels from my life experience,a teen mother at 16, again at 18 and 20 and no marriage or man in sight.I lost the last baby and got married to a different man but never had more children.
I'm a widow now reflecting on my life but blessed with a good family.
So,my children are named after my husband not after their biological fathers who never saw them.
And i think something karmic happens behind the scenes,those who dump their children never succeed in life,others die prematurely.
Bless you.
@@Kruxxor the best thing you and your sister are happy.I love your dad for raising up for the two of you and forgetting himself ,which is rare in men.
Till today i've never understood why a man can father a child and stand to deny being the parent and the responsibility!
sweet home alabama
( sorry dont hate me xD )
Have you heard of Eddie Vedder, the singer of Pearl Jam? He has a similar story. He, too, was told that his mother's husband was his father but one day, he found out that this wasn't the truth. He began to look for his real father and when he finally found him, it was to late, he had died a few years before. This has traumatized him, severely. Some of Pearl Jam's songs were written about this and I guess the most known song about this is the song "Alive". A lot of people misinterpret the meaning of this song. When he sings "I'm still alive", he's not actually celebrating the fact that he's still alive. When he wrote this song, he was thinking about his real father and thinking "You're dead and I'm still alive, it's not fair". How do I know all this? He talked about this during a show called "VH1's Storytellers".
@@justinamusyoka4986 I totally agree.
I also can't understand how a woman could stand herself after killing a child via abortion because it's inconvenient!!
“Advocating for Fathers isn’t about diminishing Mothers.” Truth.
The word “mother” barely means anything anymore anyway…it’s just “uterus havers”
@tablescissors67 you okay?
True….. but that’s what happens
This is why we have the Kate Cox Ken Paxton nightmare
Probably making the life of mothers easier too by sharing the responsibility...
Here's what we also need to realize about this talk: She never tries to take anything away from the women. She just wants men to have the same chances.
Beautiful.
@@christinelaloba8869 They also don't have a 'leg up' on prison sentences, where they spend 60% more time in jail when committing the EXACT same crimes. They also don't have a 'leg up' on birth control, where women have 14 and men have 2, one of which is permanent. I can go on about what men don't have a 'leg up' on. Men don't have 'privilege', they have RESPONSIBILITIES.
@@Slitheringpeanut You're absolutely correct.
@@christinelaloba8869 I would be very interested to see where you believe men have a clear advantage that is not available to you.
Exactly. It's not pie.
As a father that rarely gets to see his daughter, I appreciate this Tedx Talk.
Benjamin Lord - Geeze, man. I feel for you..
Keep your head up..
Same. To the extent referenced in the video where she blocked 100% me just before the birth until she had finished registering the birth weeks later with no father listed. Lawyers told me, it’s so up hill just be happy you don’t have to pay and not see the baby. She moved 300miles away. I drive out once a month for two days. Every month.
we are not alone stay strong
@@SuperKingofcastle just keep doing what you're doing... you're a great dad.
This should be really hard for you. Keep strong. I assume that when your daughter turns 18 you can bond more and the mother can't stop you. (And as somebody else here pointed out to me, right now you can still try to connect in any way possible.) You can totally do this bro!
I grew up never knowing my mom. After I was born she relapsed and disappeared. My dad got clean and went back to school. He raised me on his own (well, kind of with help from my grandparents) while getting his life back together. I’m still not sure how it’s affected me growing up without a mom, but I’m forever grateful that I am the reason my dad is the man that he is today.
He’s actually a mental health therapist and drug abuse counselor now. Him being able to say that he not only quit abusing drugs while going to college, working full time, and taking care of me has shown me what it truly means to be a man. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to have my dad in my life.
Fathers are important.
That’s awesome 🤩
I don't tear up often, but reading what you wrote about your dad brought a tear to my eye. Your dad sounds like a great man!
@_jeff _ Actually yeah the legal doctrine in many states is "the father is merely a means of financial support"
Your dad is awesome!
We may not be all that we should be, but thank God we are not what we used to be. Be patient my soul.
I love that as a society, we need data, research, experts, psychologists and lawyers to explain to us that dads are important
It's crazy honestly
Well, a particular ideology has been slowly taking over for the last 50 years. Now it has to be debunked when it should have always been that way.
Oops, error and can't edit - * didn't just accept her version of events.
Data doesn't lie, but people with vested interests can cheat themselves. But data doesn't lie, and it's for them.
I actually choked up when she listed the questions fathers can answer, because my dad would know those. Dads are so different from moms, and it’s so important to have that relationship
Me, too. I know the answers to all those things about my son. They are the things that matter to him at his age and nothing matters more to me than him.
LEGENDARYx COW well because mothers want to protect you from the world, and fathers want to prepare you for the world. Nature all gave us a role in this life
@@illyrianbloodline4841 in extreme ways, but that's so true
We've been finding it hard to accept fathers and mothers are different
Milagros Owens we all know that my friend. That was just political propaganda so they keep Americans focus away from the real problems. In my country we have a expression “you give a women your house she will make it a home” we cannot exists without each other. We need to start take responsibilities as human beings cause if we keep continue like this won’t be any left
“Advocating for fathers isn’t about diminishing mothers.”
Truer words than this are rare.
We really need to drop this "if you believe something different than me, you are against me" mentality
That’s your western culture. Maybe the person doesn’t want anything to do with you or never even knew of your existence or a myriad of other things that’s not being for you or against you
sadly "if you believe something different than me, you are against me" is part of the ruling class's divide and rule strategy and while those people are on power and using their money and media to push it on us it will take a long time to get past it!
Da Lone Voice
What happened in your divorce?
@@DaLoneVoice Sometimes the father doesn't want anything to do with the child. Sometimes the father doesn't even know the child exists. That's part of our culture. Some fathers don't want to be fathers. That's harmful to the children, too.
I'm with you pal, why cant we just have a conversation with different opinions to better the both of us and learn together?
I am separated from my daughter and it hurt so bad. I won’t give up on her.
Don't do it sir. If you need someone to talk to or emotional support reach out. I fought for custody of my son and luckily was granted it.
Is very sad to see the law inforce the unjustified action of excluding fathers from their children's life .
You can do it! Believe and don't give up! One day you will receive justice.
My daughter was kept from me for six years, I fought for her the entire six years. I had no money to get a lawyer to fight for custody and her mother was very evasive. She would change her number and move constantly to keep me from finding her. I put child support on myself so I could have visitation, when the agreement wasn't upheld the court told me I had to lawyer up and fight to see my daughter. I was working on getting the money when I got the call to get my daughter or the state would take her. This started my six month journey of fighting CPS to get custody. I was granted custody two years ago and I am so grateful to be able to be apart of her life. NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER BACK DOWN! YOUR BABY NEEDS HER DAD! STAY STRONG BROTHA! You'll be in my prayers.
Godamn... thats what I have nightmares about.
I hope you find your way to her again my man. Godspeed.
5 minutes in I just paused the video and gave my dad a call.
His presence is a privilege ❤
Just look the difference between how we celebrate mother's day and father's day
My father will call me to remind me to call my mom on mothers day. My mother almost never reminds me of fathers day. And without a doubt Fathers day is the harder day to remember. Mothers day is blasted everywhere.
Or if somebody makes a list of how guys a great, immediately someone will pipe up , ya but what about girls.
Yet if we make a video of how girls are great , no one steps up for guys,
You are right on the money , if it's fathers day , they try to turn it into mother's day
or international women's day vs international men's day
@@hubbcap18 when is international men's day ?
@@tachiroci2500 that just made me sad
My mother, who didn't lift a finger in raising me and my siblings, was miraculously granted full custody during my parent's divorce. Even after MANY witnesses came forward to tell the judge that my father was the only one who raised us, the judge still gave her full custody. I really appreciate this TedTalk. This prejudice played a significant roll in my childhood.
Some of these judges are worthless and some judges did it because of what some of them went through so they took revenge on innocent men. But they reap what they sow for not doing the right thing.
The courts are satanic .
My mother fabricated evidence, stole money from my bank account, fired her lawyer twice, and got a judge thrown out to get her way in my parent's divorce case. My father was offering her an overly reasonable settlement with 80% of assets, 60% of his paycheck as alimony, and she gets primary custody of 5 of 6 children (me being the oldest I was going off to college and therefore no custody provided). She refused and went after every penny my father had and more. Her two lawyers tried to get her to take the settlements offered, but she fired them and the third finally went with everything she said. The judge brought in to replace the first one only seemed to listen to her side even when she fabricated evidence and my father and his lawyer proved she did. She caused both of them to burn through all their assets, and now neither side has any money. My dad is 60 with a poor physical and mental (due to the divorce) medical condition unable to perform physical labour anymore despite that being his career beforehand and because of the poorly handled situation in the courts, he can't pay anything because he has no assets, a minimum wage job that doesn't even pay half the required alimony, the government has taken away his driver's license and passport, so now basically me, his brother, and his mom (my grandma) have to take care of him. Such a classless area of law.
Your story needs to get out. Many people just don't believe it...
@@Rindiculousfun Back in history, the Romans killed or enslaved all the fathers once they conquered a nation. This way they didn't had to worry about the men in the next generation to become rebellious and being a treat for the empire.
Nowadays family courts going by these same tactics.
It blows my mind how my dad won full custody of me in the early 1980's. I haven't thought much of it until becoming a father myself. I think I need to sit down with him and thank him for how hard he fought for me.
Much respect for your father, God bless him.
You are truely fortunate.
Wow. Tell him I respect him VERY MUCH. From Italy.
it's been 2 months and i hope you did sit with him and tell him
me too!
This killed a guy I knew. He was one of the best people I ever met. His wife was vicious through & after the divorce. She'd take the kids on vacation on the weekends he was supposed to have them, w/ no warning--just vanished. Once she installed a new SIM card in her daughter's phone so the father's messages wouldn't come through...then she took the kids for a 2-week holiday. The last straw was that he hadn't seen his kids since Christmas 2021. He was supposed to have his children over the weekend of his birthday in April. She disappeared w/ them again, didn't answer his calls. When she finally did pick up & he asked, "Where are the kids?" she said something along the lines of, "If you were a better father you'd know the answer to that question." There was a custody hearing set for the Wednesday following his birthday, but he knew the judge & the laws were biased against him, since he "hadn't spent much time w/ his kids since Christmas" & it looked like he was slacking on his visitation & involvement. He h**ged himself Tuesday night. His last message was a voice message to his daughter, telling her how much he loved her & her brother & how proud he was of them. His note read, "Keiner nimmt meine Kinder weg," "Nobody takes away my children."
The ex-wife is my next-door neighbor. He tipped the chair over, but she tied the rope.
Sounds like my son's almost ex, they haven't divorced yet because she's refusing mediation. Yet she's living with another man and has a baby with him. The Court doesn't care even though she has been told not to start another relationship, she did it anyway and does whatever she wants when she wants. 😢 My son and Grandson are the ones who suffer. 💔
Understood living it.
But it's the patriarchy that is bad 😅
Women are biologically narcissists designed to protect offspring and themselves and those instincts when allowed free reign will go to lengths that harm themselves and others more people need to wake up and speak the truth.
Family court held his ex's hand.
That women should be convicted and put in prison
I'm a single dad. All 3 kids chose to live with me. The most important piece of advice I give to any man is, when going into a divorce get a woman attorney.
Funny. My brother got a female attorney and got everything he wanted. Said she was worth every penny!
@@a.randolph8112 it cost a fortune, but I was able to give the kids what they wanted. The one time we ended up in court we actually got more than we were asking for at the time.
Wow
Get an experienced woman attorney, she should be older ..that means she has kids and knows the value of a strong family...she will fight for you tooth n nail
Thanks for the advice.
This reminds me of my mother use to say to, "Your dad is great father, but a bad husband, so just because I don't like your dad, doesn't mean I'll ban him from you."
did she really need to say he was a bad husband? she could have just said it didnt work out.
@@agee7777 yeah, because we already knew what he have done so there was no point of sugarcoating it.
@@galaxy7525 And his version of events was the same as your mothers?
@@agee7777 yes, he knew what he did was wrong and told us to not do the same things he did.
Eyyyyy, my mom says the same thing.
I just turned 13 when my parent's divorced. My mother wouldn't allow me to see my father plus brainwashed me into fear of him. Then she forced me to be adopted by her second husband just to hurt my father. Life was so confusing! Mothers can get so bitter and use their children to hurt their father.
ugh it feels like these stuff happen only in tv shows
That is emotional abuse and neglect. She should not have had custody of you.
Bet she’s starting to regret it now
I hope you will not be as your mother was.
I’m sorry friend. It was my grandparents on both sides that tried to brainwash me against the other parent. It’s sick.
As a dad who fell victim to the system as it stands. This made me tear up. I pray this woman makes the difference she's trying for.
I lost my mom when I was 15. I spent so many years in my grief that I didn't acknowledge the sacrifices and unconditional love I was already getting from my dad. He went above and beyond as a father and no amount of birthday and Father's day gifts and cards will be able to express how much I love and appreciate him
losing mom so early that's rough
How old are you now? I lost my mom when I was 15 as well. I am 20 now. Wondering if I'm also not acknowledging my father enough. I do respect him a lot, he's the best example I have of what a real man is supposed to be. He did get re-married and I have a step-mother now, but the relationship just isn't the same as it was with my mother. My siblings and I try to make it work though
My mom left when I was 4 and luckily my dad won us in custody. He was rough and hard growing up. A lot of it was because of how hard he worked for me and my sisters. I was the oldest but I respected him so much. He tried to be fair and reasonable but was also strict.
He passed away when I was 21 years old from colon cancer at the age of 44. I miss him so much to this very day.
One of the last things he told me before he died and I can still see it so vividly was to let go of the hate I held for my mother. That it wasn’t my fault and it was their issues and that as much as o deserve to hate her I had to let it go. And it was hard but it helped me heal so much internally.
I still sometimes cry or get tears in my eyes when I think about what he taught me. He died a year before my son was born. Unable to be there to see him and I strive to raise my son the way my dad raised me. And I strive to give him the stability I severely lacked as a child growing up with only 1 parent.
@@velocity7779 is fine. You don't need to love your new mom, but it is important that you remember that him re-marrying doesn't make him a worse dad as long a he still loves you the same and would still go out of his way to look out for you. It is also important to remember that most humans are social creatures and crave romantic company. So keep it in mind. The relationship dies a bit because he now has someone else in his attention spectrum as well. It's sad but such is life.
Wow. Seems like this should be the club of "l5 & lost mom" . I will be a member. And while I lovey dad,and respect him and know that he loves me as much as he can, I still feel that void and am still in depression after 5 years. Nothing makes me happy.
Im a single Dad. I raised my son since he was 10 years old.
It's been the toughest 6 years of my life. But then when he called me from school to tell me he's passed his high school exams, I almost cried.
God bless Father Support companies and TedX for doing this speech!!!
Thank you to all the people that liked my comment!
Congratulations
Trending Worldwide, I feel you. I also raised my son for over ten years. Most of that alone. I can truly say that It is the toughest job, but I love it and would not give anything this world has to offer to change that. I still am bringing him up. Keep up the fight! Don't quit!
God bless you!
I'm a single father and my son is currently 4 years old he lives with me full time I dedicate every free moment I have to his success and well-being I can really appreciate the success that you feel from your child's accomplishments
Maybe if society as a whole stopped treating fathers like they are dispensable, we could see even a slight decrease in men that abandon their children. My dad and grandpa were two of the best people I have ever met and I absolutely needed them while I was growing up and I'm grateful every day they were there every single day. Any mother that would try and deny their child additional love and support from a father that wants to be in their child's life is pathetic. Fathers are just as important as mothers.
Well said Erika....well said.
Wow....so it's true....
A good dad often leads to a good daughter...
Good to know 😘
But women and children first. Men will always sacrifice themselves. That is how men are treated.
Never thought this would come from a woman. No offense, but most women tend to be sexist against men and fathers.
Anybody will get tired of a lack of appreciation after awhile. And why stay in a situation were you are unappreciated.
Growing up in the 60s with both parents in a nice neighborhood I thought thats how all kids lived. I came to realize just how incredibly lucky I was.
i was raised in a christian family and a christian surrounding so i didnt not know about divorce and such things until the age of 8 until i made non christian friends out on the street. i met kids with single parents and i still remember when one of my friends told me, that his father is not his brothers father. i thought he was joking so he explained to me that his mother has had another man before. that was confusing and i went home and told my parents 😅
My mom was abusive, for 15 years no one believed me. DSS didn’t pay attention. My father did want me, in fact when I was 10 he got my brother who was 15. I was stuck with my mom because it was believed I needed a mother’s touch and love. During that 5 year I went to a mental hospital twice, three of my grandparents died, my uncle died and my mothers abuse got worse. I have three scars that are from my mother, one on my wrist I see EVERY DAY. DSS only believed me one I had a psychotic break in a police station. My mom was right outside the door laughing and gossiping. I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD. When I went to my dads, I no longer need everyday medication, I was more social and I didn’t have to be afraid of my mother every second. My mother got away with this for 15 years with it because she was so good at the image. My Dad tried but no one cared until I was in mental hospitals crying for over 5 hours begging them to not send me home and begging for my dad. Dads are extremely important without my Dads support I would not be here. Don’t always believe the mother most the time they are the most abusive. Mine was and I sometimes I still wake up crying in fear that she will punish me for not being a good daughter
Edit: I wanted to say thank you for all over your sweet and caring comments. I didn’t want sympathy however I just wanted to spread the importance of people having a father and how mothers can be horrible with children. To update about how I’m doing I’m okay. I’m a lot better than I was with my mother. I still have my struggles but I’m grateful for them due to them helping me understand things better.
That fuckin sucks
Some of thes stories are too messed up I can’t begin to imagine what you had to go through
I feel you... I'm stuck with an abusive mother too...
this almost made me cry
Reminds me of a child called it.. and my life.. sorry to heart that. Love you dude
This is also why men need paternity leave when they have a child with their partner.
Amen! This comment needs more likes so the US gets their priorities straight
We have this in Canada now. It's the law.
It's been in Germany T_T
@ As far as I know, there is no national requirement for that, although some states have done so, and some companies have done it without being required, but that said... I've worked for companies which provided it (2 weeks usually, compared to 6 for maternity), and every single expectant father I ever met always took it. Usually, they'd delay it for several months to be able to have that significant bonding time a little bit later in development (as the company allowed that two weeks to be taken at any point within 6 months of birth).
@ I should have been more specific and said "federally-mandated paid paternity leave."
I'm glad to see a woman talking about the importance of a father.
I love it too!
she probably a man herself lmao
Yeah, let's be honest. If it was a man saying this, their opinion won't really be regarded. But there's a few reasons behind that, that kinda make sense I guess
@@walmart506aj-7 You're a very sad person.
Sure, just remember she didn't defend them in the court of law out of the kindness of her heart, but because she was being paid top dollar, and you can be sure she's getting paid handily for this 15 minute talk too. Such an angel. Let's see a woman defend a man when she's not being slapped in the face with a stack of money. Funny how she also specifies that ALL 9 of her employees are women. Hmmm, discrimination much?
I was given a choice as a teenager...who do you want to live with, mom or dad...joint custody had been a nightmare for years. It was the easiest decision I ever made. I chose my dad and it's the reason why I'm a successful, productive member of society today. My mother was not a good caretaker and my dad did everything in his power to make every effort to be there. It comes down to individual situations, but I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to make the decision for myself.
I have an alcoholic dad, can't really relate to the good memories, but I'll do my best to be a great father. Please, everyone with bad parents, do not inerhit their character, if you didn't have a good childhood, at least do your best to make your kids childhood the best.
Also if you think you can’t be a good parent there’s no shame in not having kids
Same here, I didn't really have any good father figure growing up from either my step dad or bio dad. So the way I look at it is I'm going to use them as an example of who not to be.
Bad parents are still better than no parents, obviously don’t be a bad parent but if your partner is alcoholic or an addict, get it worked out, because even if you fail it will be better than just leaving them.
@@mj6463 That's what everyone that has no clue how it feels to have "bad parents" say, it's like telling someone with depression to just "get over it bro, everyone has bad days".
@@jameson1239 yeah, if you aren't willing to be present and fully devoting the rest of your life to your child and caring as much as possible, you shouldn't have a child, and that is perfectly fine
She stressed the importance of father's roles without taking away from mother's roles. Both are equally important.
if that's what you took away from this, you missed the point
@@chasedbyvvolves9256
Ok so what is message you got from it. I got several points but in my opinion that was very significant point
h. ann what other point is there?
There’s a saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Why then should we remove one of the parent unless it’s for legitimate safety issues? Wouldn’t that just make it less of a village?
Eddie 1925 this is not about them!
@@alexanderchristopher6237 pretty sure Hillary Clinton made that phrase popular
“Advocating for fathers isn’t about diminishing mothers”
Of course not. It’s not a zero sum game.
Talon Greenlee for some it seems like it is but they are just delusional. Unfortunately they are too many.
Some things that are obvious to others aren't to others
the missile skud No, to batshit insane radical feminists it is. And men are under that umbrella as well as women.
"Of course not. It's not a zero sum game."
If only that were true. Unfortunately, it's not. It's not economically, it's not emotionally, and it's not socially. The bias in our legal system when it comes to father's rights is astounding. The onus of economic support for a child is almost solely placed on the father. And more so, any man who dares utter the words, "men's rights" is immediately labeled a misogynist, and can have real professional and personal impact from those that get it in their heads to seek to ruin them for their slight against the modern era of feminism.
EVERYTHING is game theory.
This is hard hitting. The awareness on laws against fathers is absolutely required!
I can attest to this. and yes, “Advocating for fathers isn’t about diminishing mothers.” TRUE!
I hate how so many think everything is zero sum. :(
It's crazy how that needs to be said now. Thought fathers and mothers were meant to be a team.
The crisis of fatherless homes has alot to do with women purposely having children without planning to have the fathers in their lives. If you grew up in a city you saw it all the time. Even though mothers are not diminished they should be held accountable.
@@luisseverino740 Men having an advantage in the workplace doesn't mean it needs to flip when it comes to parenthood. In reality, there are injustices for both genders that need to be addressed.
It's a shame we always have to resort to discrimination when trying to solve problems of discrimination.
@@BrunoAnton I largely agree with you. However justice rarely sees fair to the person being asked to give up something...even if it is more equitable for everyone in the bigger picture. Whether it's in the workplace, or at home, creating a balance often means one side will have to lose/give up something for the other side to gain a fairer balance. That's just the nature of reality.
It was very refreshing to hear someone defend the fathers of this world, because there is plenty of really good ones that love their children and are being treated badly by the mothers.
Not only that the state treats us worse. Its sad because they literally can dictate our relationships with our children and that's super fuckin unfair.
This video made me very emotional becuase I am new father, my son just turned one and I havent seen him nearly as much as I want because of his selfish mother.
@@micahvelli_236 smh. Man I been there before. Stay strong. Hopefully it gets better brother.
@@mtdubdachamp6917 preciate it man.
i could write a book in this section. you guys arent alone.
"Advocating for fathers isn't about diminishing mothers" - Not enough people understand this
And far too many people try to ignore and/or bury this.
Except it kind of is, isn't it? The core issue here is where children should go when mommy and daddy divorce. In cases where both parents are equally fit to parent... you have to make a choice. Mom or dad. You literally can't have both. And you may have all kinds of anecdotes about how YOUR father was so great, but generally, women have stronger bonds with their children.
@@ThePigeonBrain No, it's not. Custody can be split so that both parents parent. You can have both, and children need both.
👍🏾👍🏾Correct I agree
Only newage feminists would think anything to do with men is a crime against womanhood.
My Dad isn’t one for verbal communication but he knows I love history especially female history. So he gets a Smithsonian magazine monthly finds a female figure, brings it to my attention & hands it to me to read. That’s how I know he’s bonding with me & telling me he sees me. I love my Dad, I know he tries, cares & has always been supportive. Both my parents I know are & have always been crucial in my life and will always be. I’m insanely blessed & know not many have this, so I treasure it greatly.
It's just depressing that people think that fathers don't matter in a child's life.
Somehow because the woman bears the child, she's the only one that matters? Not even close.
I WOULD SAY FATHERS MATTER WAY MORE THAN MOTHERS. A MOTHER CAN'T RAISE A HEALTHY BOY INTO MANHOOD. A SINGLE MOTHER WOULD JUST MAKE THE BOY INTO A PATHETIC SIMP.
@@joecooper8527 a mother CAN so long as she herself was raised properly. Say the father died, is it then impossible for a woman to educate a boy into adulthood. Of course. But if a woman doesn't have a right head on her sholders, she won't be able raise healthy girls nor boys.
@@malorie8557 NOPE
@@joecooper8527 What? I can't hear you. See if you can find a larger font size.
that is very true
When I met my husband he was a divorced father of three. His kids lived with their schizophrenic mother several hundred miles away. The courts had awarded her custody because the maternal grandparents were present in the same city. My husband spent every spare moment and spare penny he had maintaining his relationship with the kids. He phoned them at least once a week and made a monthly visit. Often he would make the trip to their far-away city, only to learn that the kids wouldn't be spending their 24-hour weekend or Christmas, with him because some remote uncle had come to visit... But he never gave up, he never forgot the kids, not even when our son was born. Every month until the kids were old enough to take the train alone, we would go visit them with our baby. We spent all our holiday time with them. My husband faced major opposition when one of the children decided to come live with us. Despite the years, he has constantly kept up contact with the three children, who are now all in their 30's. Despite slander and lies from their maternal family, the all really know who their Dad is, how much he loves them, and, most importantly, the fact that he never, never chose to leave them, but was forced to do so by his ex-wife's manipulative parents. This wonderful man is a hero to me, and though he is not perfect, he is a wonderful father. All four of his children adore him. Every child should have this kind of dad.
Beautiful story. He's a great man.
Manipulations is the worst. I know the struggle and you gave me hope that there is a way to overcome it.
@@Dantillosos you never overcome it, you must just keep going forward untill you break through it. dont ever give up. after nearly 20 years of my daughters mum trying to cut me out of her life we still have a bond that cant be broken. its worth it in the end, never give up
And you are a really good person and understanding lady. Every man needs a wife like you.
Calling the mother a schizophrenic is kind of sad. He had 3 children with her. How did she develop schizophrenia? When did she develop it? Did she always have it? This story makes it sound like the mother is a monster, and I'm sure she wasn't. He married her for a reason. What happened?
I wish more people would see that fighting for men’s rights isn’t an attack on women
But it is an attack to the oppressive biases of women who think that men deserve less than nothing.
Women are emotionally selfish when they are in their feelings.
Dajour Phil0soph3r it’s only an attack when men only want to bring up men’s rights during women discussing women’s rights. Which is often.
@@veneratedvixxen
But when is the time to discuss men's rights though? Women's rights gets all the spot light so that's why it seems like we only bring it up when yall are talking about your stuff.
I don’t see how men’s rights and feminism are at odds, even though men’s rights activists often seem to think so. It’s so strange.
Im not even a dad and I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't imagine my life without my dad. I don't think I'd like the man I've become if he weren't here. His presence and lessons have been invaluable.
I lost my son during my divorce. The reason was "the mother is the natural care taker". I then was forced to pay child support. Welcome to America.
It's a coordinated attack on fatherhood around the world as part of the plan to undermine the family over the last 50 years.
Women hold tremendous power- I've known several women who were only together for a few years with the father, decided "it just wasn't what they wanted", cheated on the father, wanted the divorce and walked away with half of all property plus several thousand dollars a month in child support. This is all romanticised in media, movies and books- Eat Pray Love, etc.
The thing is, women aren't happier than they were 50 years ago.
I was lucky to get 50/50. Stay strong brotha
Welcome to the world. Women get and can be anything they want my friend.... Equality does not exist when it comes to men and marriage.
@@mrnewbmcmuffin251 no, he's just speaking the truth. Your simp vibes are off the charts.
@@boblob2003 Dude what. A coordinated attack around the world? By who? And how/when did they all of them, around the world, together decide to coordinate the same attack? How did that happen? How would something like that even happen?
What have you been smoking? Get out of the rabbit hole mate.
This is actual equality!! Giving both genders their due importance, appreciation and accountability.
Exactly
The input of parents is highly disproportional still. It's weird for fathers to want more rights, when they still do so little.
@@RUclipsTookMyNickname.WhyNot yes it's worse in Russia, but you're wrong about the world, you can Google stats, women do 2 times more housework and childcare in western countries. So don't flatter yourself, you only want to look equal, but you're still far away from it. But sure thing men often overestimate their input, I can get where you're coming from, that's typical for you.
@@Nitrogenmonoxid And housework I guess is the criteria for contributing to the child's life? lol. How about the fact that fathers overwhelmingly on average provide more to the household monetarily? Just like our caveman days, women were meant to care for their children, men went to hunt and defend their family. Nowadays, we replaced hunting for jobs and "careers", but the social dynamics are all the same. People trying to changing that is trying to change nature in itself.
@@markmiller6111 That is very much untrue in the sense that in the "cavemen days" people lived in far more tribal cultures. Women would actually participate in bigger hunts, too. The classic "family unit" where everyone raises their own children ist actually not all that natural in that context.
What a woman. Fighting for the rights of children and fathers
She always gonna be cool with me! We need more like her!
Shinobi Jack - she sees the injustices daily.
Good for business as well!
She most receive so much criticism from "feminists". It must be crazy.
@Vox Deus You're really a chic, right?
I’m not telling it’s the same for everyone, but as a child growing without his father (his choice) I can tell I had to struggle à long time before being really confident in myself and what I’m able to do.
My mother is the best, but she was focused on security: her wish to see me safe was stronger than to see me doing something new.
If I fall from my bike, she would say « are you ok sweety, do you want to stop and go home? » which is good and lovely, but you also need to hear « get up kid you can do it ».
I stopped myself so many times to just try something, telling me I won’t make it and that it would just be « safer » to not even try so you cannot fail.
I’m not like that anymore.
Now I’m a house dad and my little girl is everything to me, I couldn’t stay away from her even a single day!
(Sorry for my bad english)
When my daughter was about 10, her mother left me. We were not married, but a little while after leaving me her boyfriend was filling her head with ideas that made me fear for custody of my daughter. I immediately got a lawyer to draw up custody papers (2 weeks on, 2 weeks off) and child support. I think I caught her off guard with this, because she signed without any fuss. My daughter is now 25, and I don't know how either of us would have survived without that time together for all those years.
Vwlss Nvwls good for you man, you’d be shocked how often men lose custody
Wonderful story. Well done Sir
@@infamousgames7621 to be fair, men pick these women with which to make babies. Perhaps they ought to be more discerning.
@@zapkvr Nothing better than a good woman....nothing worse than a bad one...and no way to tell the difference, deception is their rule of life. Oh that it was so easy to just be more careful when picking a spouse..they are raised to deceive and manipulate in everything they do.
Vwlss Nvwls Wait you paid neglectful mom child support? I hope not
As a divorced dad, I crossed the ocean every July and Christmas to be with my daughter who was secretly taken away to Europe from Canada by her mom. Even then the callous mother gave me a hard time putting conditions on visits. It was the most disturbing time of my life. But my love and devotion to her made no obstacle too hard to overcome. Now my daughter is in her 30s and fortunately living happily in Switzerland working as a biological engineer. Love always finds a way.
Glad that worked out for you! I am stuck in Switzerland , but I have custody of my daughter. My wife tried to screw me twice. Cost me alot financially, but can't put a price on my daughter. Sacrificed many years.
Thank you for staying in the journey w/your daughter!!! The kids always become adults that can change the rules of engagement eventually. God bless you and your family!
No, love does NOT always find a way. You weren't battered by the court system with your ex wife at the handle. Many of us were. Imagine having job after job ripped away from you by a lying ex wife who stalks and haunts you. Imagine having to constantly speak to the police to prove you are a citizen of your country because "someone" calls the police the day before your custody visitation day...
Good job bragging about how awesome you are though.
@@marcocastellano2451 I didn't share to get praise. I shared my experience as a survivor of having my ex flee with a 2 year old, then fighting to exercise custody rights, enduring months of longing between visits,, financial and professional sacrifices due to take unpaid leave to be with my daughter, Some have it worse than others, some have it less bad. But we're all victims some way or another.
@@laramatthews2082 indeed. She has turned out to be a fair and loving woman. I just hope she and her boyfriend continue to be happy.
I married my husband because I knew he’d be a great Dad. 15 years later, I was right. Even if we divorced (won’t happen), he would never leave our kids. He teaches them things I would never think of. Dads matter. ❤️
Edit: I grew up without a father.
I hope life was easy for you as a child. For the kids you have now, may God bless them and you as a family.
I have a lot of respect for a women that sees the point of having a father in a child's life.. Even more so for the woman that grew up without the father 💪🥂
Ditto and I am divorced. He's an excellent father and great co-parent. People need to remember what matters most is what's best for the child and sadly Americans are conditioned to think dads are pointless when they're not.
ive heard many women say the EXACT same thing, then a couple years later... DIVORCE and the money grubbing fingers come out,
@@topherh5093 Then you should surround yourself with better women. I have more money & assets than my husband so I’d end up paying him spousal support and/or child support if we split up and it doesn’t matter to me because we both just want the best for our children. All of the money and assets we have accumulated separately and together are for the betterment of our children, grandchildren, and all progeny. Our marriage works well because we share the same values. I hope you find that in your life. ❤️
I’m watching this and reading a few comments in tears as I have gone through a divorce and suffered every psychological difficulty in trying see my kids. I’m 75 now and losing my kids still hurts, the psychological battle didn’t just effect me as my kids were used in that battle by the lies they were told about me. I have a relationship now since their mother died but it’s not that free flowing. Thanks for the work you do supporting fathers as those that care should be allowed to.
It's about time we realized that fathers are just as important as mothers.
Lynda Lee Abdo I agree with you
MsNeela1 that didn’t make any sense whatsoever
@@Mnmy24 They are equally important. Modern psychology is recognizing this.
@@Mnmy24
Why wouldn't they be equally important? Explain.
MsNeela1 I never had neither parents so I don’t know what to say
I’m sad to admit I have overstepped my role as a mother and restricted my husband have an organic relationship with our children. It’s hard to co-parent. This opened my eyes. My dad was an important role in my upbringing, and I believe my husband is a better dad, I just was stunting it. I’m going to do better by allowing him to do his thing. I feel so embarrassed. This was a really important video for me to watch.
You should be embarrassed
I read your comment whilst I was at work today on my work computer and made a mental note to myself that when I got home I would send you a message.
This is one of the most honest things I have read on the internet, for you, to not only think this but to write it down for others to see, I give you total kudos. It takes a lot to admit when we have wronged. Critical thinking is a good way to grow and often leads us to the answers we need to know, that's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Keeping your children apart from your husband who is a willing father is a bad long term strategy. Rule 101 about suppressing feelings, they always eventually come back tenfold.
Together with your unique qualities, you can both give them the tools to succeed in life. For instance, by doing this, you will be teaching them empathy, that is good trait to learn.
Good luck to you and your family.
CatsGTOW I really appreciate your message. I’ve been pretty down about the whole thing. I think I took parenting a little too seriously (we want the best for our kids) to where I was overstepping in situations that didn’t need to be. I’m actually going to my first therapy appointment today with a family counselor to discuss how I can be a better co-parent/mother and respect my husbands parenting even if I don’t agree with it all of the time. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment. I’ll keep your advice in mind during my appointment today. Thank you!!
The important part is that you realized your mistakes and are willing to improve!
Glad you found some new information that can hopefully help everybody!
Before I was even old enough to remember my mom, she demanded a divorce and took my dad to court. She hated working and having responsibilities, but she still wanted custody of me and my sisters. My dad worked all day every day while my mom sat with her face in the computer from sunrise to sunset. It was two of my older sisters who changed my diapers when I was a baby, and they were only 6 and 7 years old. My mom just didn't care. But she still wanted to get back at my dad for "not paying attention to her" even though he had to work all day because my mom didn't want to do anything. So, to get her "revenge," she tried to win over custody and the massive house we lived in. Her plan was to take everything, kick my dad out, and live off of child support that he has to pay while getting a low-effort part-time job.
Thankfully, her plan never went into effect. My dad did everything he could to save the marriage because he knew my sisters and I couldn't grow up without a woman in the house. But my mom lost the case because she couldn't prove that she could provide a stable environment for her children to live in. My dad got full custody and my mom disappeared for several years. The last thing she said to my dad was "I hate you for taking my kids away from me."
My dad's case was one of those rare cases where the father is the stable one and wins. But if the tiniest circumstances were different, then I fear my mom would have won custody and used me and my sisters as a weapon to manipulate my dad into getting what she wanted. It's sad to see how so many fathers lose the ability to see their children because the mother is narcissistic and selfish. It almost happened to my dad, but happy endings in cases like these are rare and that's upsetting.
"I hate you for taking my kids away from me." I guess irony wasn't her strong suit hey
!!! How do you know about my life and why are you narrating it in a youtube comment...
Your case is not that rare.
I'm in the same boat.
I’ve had almost the same experience except my mom won but couldn’t afford to keep the house and we’ve been living at my grandmother’s house for years while my dad has a mansion in Florida
@@LeMac-12
So it seems your mom won custody with no means of support yet your father would have been able to support better.
Not at all the same.
5:40 made me cry, I hadn't realized how much I'd taken these memories for granted. Thank you.
As someone coming from the fatherless side of this equation (Didn't have experiences with him until 16, about to hit my 30s), this is interesting to me. I'm not distraught like a lot of commentors about the lost memories because I'm not even sure what I'm missing hear. Does a man who was born blind weep for his lost sight? How would he even imagine it? It feels strange to think that I'm missing something fundamental to the human experience, akin to being blind or deaf. And it is clear after looking at the statistics that "having a father" clearly is a fundamental human experience or fatherlessness would be so strongly correlated to this 'personality problems'. Really strange to think of myself as 'lacking'.
Society needs to learn that children are valuable human beings in their own right, entitled to both their mother and their father. They are not the property of their mothers.
Yup. As a female, I get so tired of seeing other women (mothers) who believe that only moms matter, or that moms matter far more than dads. For e.g., I can't stand the groups that start with 'Mothers for this...' or 'Mothers again...' as it implies that only mothers care. When I've chided the group organizers for their names, and said 'why don't you just call it 'Parents for this or that...', they get defensive and say 'dads are always welcome to join us', which obviously was not my point.
I also tired of Mommy and Me Yoga. Blech! I tire of women who constantly berate men/their husbands, and talk about or refer to them as 'children'.
@@Lisa_Evers Preach. I feel so sorry for the husbands of the women you talk about in your second paragraph!
EXACTLY
Ashley Paulsen you sound ridiculous, you realize there are plenty of men who do sooo much for their kids, not all men let the women do more. And the child is half theres & half the moms, not any more or less
@Ashley Paulsen : Did you breed ? If so, what were your core considerations and planning when arriving at your decision to reproduce ?
Did you negotiate a plan of shared responsibility with the father that took account of how the economic provisioning for child rearing would be achieved and how that might obviously affect the time a wage earning partner ( mother or father ) might be available for domestic responsibilities ?
Making demands based on a simplistic referencing of stats may make for trendy gender political talking points but doesn't necessarily apply or make a lot of sense in complex real world family situations.
You sound quite snarky and entitled. Vindictive even with that last line where you label any woman who does not share your rather poisonous outlook a traitor.
Finally, someone who gets it. We need more women like her.
Cloud Duster she’s an attorney. She lines her pockets with these dudes money. She’s not a hero, she has a job and she does it.
@@laurenrothluvshorror So excluding her, what are your thoughts on this topic?
@@laurenrothluvshorror if she only wants money, she won't even bother share her thoughts about fatherhood...being a biological parent is different than fatherhood and she gets it...you are a woman, you shouldn't be saying that
@@laurenrothluvshorror They all line their pockets with money.
Her specialty is fighting for the underdogs in family/divorce court.
It sure would be a lot easier to fight for moms in court.
Grown Simba I think this is one issue among many that face men today. I think it’s antiquated to think that they aren’t valuable as parents. I think more restaurants and stores should have diaper changing stations in men’s restrooms. I just don’t like when someone who is basically doing a commercial for their work that they are paid (probably very well) to do is praised like they’re doing something big for fathers rights. I never said she’s wrong and she’s obviously very smart. Just make sure you always look at things for what they are and not what everyone wants you to see. That’s all I’m saying.
My Dad was killed (US Army) when I was 1 year old leaving my Mother with 4 little boys. She married my Step-Dad when I was 4 and he raised us all as his own. I can't imagine where I'd be without him teaching us how to become Men... We are all married 30+ years with Happy, Healthy Wives, Kids and Grand-kids in large part because he was a Good Dad! .
Big thank to your mum for chosen the right man - dad for her children.
Sounds like a wonderful man 🙏
Bless you.
This is so wrong in so many ways... A child, regardless of their gender, doesnt need a "role like" gender to be one... Because they need to learn how to be a GOOD person.
Take this opportunity to tell him those exact words, no doubt they will mean the world to him!
I grew up with a biological father but he made it very clear through his actions that I was not valued in his eyes. I’m in my 30s and I have cut off all communication and haven’t spoken to him in almost 3 years. Through lots of therapy and self reflection I made the decision to no longer keep in touch with him or his side of my family and I also made a promise to never be that kind of Husband or Father to my family.
bad example is an example as well.....at least he was good for this purpose for you.
Yeah, that's so unfortunate.
I will say that it could just be an extended shadow of childhood development. He didn't learn better while perhaps growing without a father.
My father and i never lived together, he is an alcoholic and we had a very rough relationship when i was young. We also went years without talking. Now at 39 i have the best relationship with him that we've ever had. I truly hope you have found peace with your situation, a tough childhood causes scars that will never heal, but there is peace out there. God bless you my friend
I had an awful father as well. Violent, verbally demeaning, terrifying. I count myself among those who are fatherless.
You will be a great husband/father one day. I believe it for you!
People must begin to see the greatest privilege of all: having two parents.
It is not a privilege, it is a duty to provide two parents to every child
I don't understand how that is a privilege. Is a person made by one person that having two should be considered a privilege?
@@charliemike1092 I agree that it is the duty of whoever is responsible for the birth of the child should be responsible for their upbringing.
@@noma6214 it’s more about the statistics that support the “two parent privilege” philosophy. For example, people are more likely to make more money if they grew up in a two parent home and are way less likely to commit crimes.
Meh, it's overrated. Greatest privilege is health and wealth.
This is incredibly accurate. When I was going through my divorce, which took over 2 years! I had to fight tooth and nail to get 50/50 custody with my son. I won't go into details but I went through court ordered mediation and then spoke with several lawyers who told me exactly what she said, "you should consider every other weekend and maybe a night visit a victory as a male". I wanted to work everything out with her but she held all the power. It was a nightmare. I've cried more in the past 2 years than the rest of my life combined. We hold literally the same job, same benefits, schedule, and retirement (both teachers). Even still I pay child support and I gave up half my retirement. I wish I could say that was all I was forced into. I'm not asking for attention of pity I'm telling you this is accurate. I was told again and again give in because you need that custody to go through. Kids need fathers, as a teacher I see this again and again. Don't believe it? What's your jobs paternal leave for fathers look like?
I'm incredibly sorry to hear that... from a 17 year old who has lived with everyother weekend for 7 hours with my Dad since I was 3, please, do everything you can to make your son know thst you love him with all your heart, soul, and mind. My Dad has lived a hard life, barely scratching together enough money for even himself, but he has made sure that my brother and I know he considers us a part of him, and that he loves us unconditionally, and *that*, I think, is the greatest service a divorced father could do for his kids.
And the fight is not over yet! I had joint custody for both of my daughters. The courts ruled that their mother had primary residence and I would got to restrict my ex from moving my children away from me. Their mother decided that since she couldn’t move them away from me then she would not allow me to have them for my time dictated by the COURT ORDER.Primary custody meant I had to pay her support, and it was pay or go to jail. When I went to pick them up and she told them they were not allowed to go with me I would get the police involved and they told me they were not going to do anything and the order is not enforceable. I would have to go back to court to get a court order to be able to see my kids.
@@todddriscoll1135 that's a damn shame!!!! Why is she doing that?
@@KINGDAE48 Some people bring out their worst sides after, or during, a divorce. My brother hasn't seen his first kid more than a handful of times from when she was about two to now, almost twenty years later. The mother actively counter-acted all attempts at meeting, or even staying in touch via SMS, including confiscating the child's phone.
@@Vanta_Blue if I may ask, has your brother finally gotten to talk to his daughter? Afterall, she is of age and I do agree with you
When my parents divorced when I was 6 years old, it was in the divorce papers that neither one could move more than 5 miles away from each other and I am forever grateful.
My ex and I did that as well for my son.
That sucks for the parent who finds an incredible deal on a home 5.1 miles away.
Well, it was more less a contingency plan. My parents were always on good terms, a few times I'm sure they were over 5 miles, but never too far. Usually on opposite side of town but close enough.
Charlie's PlayStation thats amazing wtf. my dad lives 2000 miles away and i would do anything to be with him
@@decayingbutbiscuit , i'm with you on this, my dad lived on the other side of the US, and while i was still in contact with him i've always wanted nothing more than to live closer to him.
As a father, this made me want to be better. I’ve never heard nor thought of any of this.
My stepfather got custody of his two sons because his ex-wife was a drug addict, and it was still a ridiculous battle for him. But he fought because he knew it was the right move for his children. And when he got married to my mom, he continued to show me how a good man takes care of his family. So I grew up knowing what kind of man I would look for in a husband and father to my own children. And I hope my stepbrothers grew up knowing how to raise their own children. Dads are important, as models for their own boys and girls, and the men who watch him take care of them.
I think part of the message is in addition to knowing "what kind of a man" to look for, you should also strive to be the woman worthy of him.
Fathers teach their sons how to treat women and their daughters how a woman should expect to be treated.
such a heart-warming story, I'm so happy for you
yep, single mother households have raised over 75% of the prison population... what does that tell you >?
@@EvilSapphireR yeah this. It’s always the guy has to live up to expectations but not the other way around.
"Advocating for fathers does not diminish mothers." YES! Exaclty!!! Parenting should be a team effort.
it usually is, but when parents divorce it's a different story.
I don't believe the need to state such a logical statement...
Not when dad us abusive
@@recoveringsoul755 are we going to argue about the exception from every rule? Of course it doesn't apply here.
In one home......
I didn't have a good father. But my husband is a great father. And I truly would NEVER deprive my kids of their father. Props to the great dads out there!
Rita...
Ephesians 5:25 - "husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church".
The teamwork of a healthy marriage impacts a child's growth exponentially.
The mental and emotional support a husband can give his wife will blossom into a very healthy marriage, which in turn produces mentally and emotionally healthy children.
Your words are heart warming and encouraging.
On behalf of the fathers our there who actually enjoy being fathers...thank you!
Thank you Rita!
God bless you
did u guys see. his hubby safe only because of her love for her children not for him
At least one comment stating facts as they are, some men are good fathers, but there are still some who are bad as fathers.
Im not going to lie, I have many times felt guilty for having such an amazing dad. I would catch my self talking about my dad and then realizing my friend doesn't have a dad, and I would just feel like I was selfish or something. Its terrible realizing that one of the best parts of your life is something that so many people will never have.
What did your dad do that made him amazing? I’m trying to better understand what the role of a father is
@lolao4311 he loves us.
He wants to be around. He wants us to be involved in what he is doing and vice versa. He and my mom homeschool us. He discipled us in the word of God. And he sacrifices his time, money, comfort, and energy for our betterment.
He has his faults. He is stubborn, irritable, proud, blunt, etc...
But love covers a multitude of sins.
And he has shown over the years that he genuinely cares about our physical emotional and spiritual well-being, even if he doesn't have all the answers or best reactions or makes mistakes.
@@jubileeYAVELthank you
@@lolao4311are you serious??? What kind of sick mysandrist are you?? 🤮
My father had to give up everything he gained during his 10 year marriage so he could have joint custody with his ex, who still forbade us from seeing him for almost 4 years. That only changed when she kicked me out and i got back into contact with him, and he came to get me in the middle of the night. Fathers are so underrated
And that one instance showed you why he couldn’t handle her despite how much he loved you.
@@27rykou Nah, not just that one instance, 4 years of being severely physically and mentally/emotionally abused by her showed me why he couldn't handle her.
@@mislovelover31 I hope one day you can go back and roundhouse kick her with your dad. It can be a father-son activity.
I picked up my son 3 years ago after he turned 18, his mom wasnt getting $$$ anymore and stopped loving him. He's been here ever since. I am no saint but i love my son
@@XxXRlGOXxX father-daughter, but yeah sounds like a good plan
Not willing to go into detail in public but this video hits me on so many levels as a son and father. Thank you for speaking about this.
Stay strong bro, keep loving those kids and doing what you can. Once kids grow we truly begin appreciating our parents, just hang in there buddy !
You are the definition of a real Man...
Right? To be socially and personally torn apart by my children's mother and have society take her side every single time, every time. No one wants to hear my side, no one cares. Mom good, dad bad. End of story.
Ya me too
Diego O' Land so true right. Everyone sided with the mother. You are a pariah and despite truth no one cares to listen
During my custody trial, my ex was dating a guy who had a criminal record. My lawyer and I successfully petitioned the court to access the criminal record since it shows how he treats other people and is an insight into his personality as he is around my daughters. Turns out he had two incidents against his own children. Anyways, in the end, I got full custody.
Bullet dodged! Good luck
Congrats man. Glad that worked out for ya. Your daughters are lucky to have a dad willing to go all out like that.
congrats
Why do men come on here and lie? I have been through the ringer had GREAT lawyers and the fact is NO you wouldn't get full custody for the scenario you talk about. NEVER. But more importantly why make it up? What do you get from that. You are only giving men false hope they may see their kids again.
@@miketyson3824 It's true. I've the court papers to prove it. Both my daughters are now 21. I not only had a great lawyer but I also documented any and every interaction I had with my ex during custody so in court I could give the exact date AND time of any interaction. I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not lying.
This was incredible. I miss my Father everyday and I still remember everything he said and follow his words.
Haven't had contact with my daughter in over 10 years now, even after winning 16 court cases.
An idea for you, dad who doesn't have contact with your kid: register your kid's full name as a domain. Put up a simple wordpress blog website and write to your son or daughter.
Keep it positive, don't mention your ex or any negativity, positive stories only!
That way, what ever happens, he/she will at some point read your stories and make up their own mind about what has happened.
Stay strong, dad's!
Our kids need us, and they need us strong 👊🏼
i hope things will get better for u man
This is gold. Thank you. I work with fathers and I suggested to a few to create a journal and give it to them on their 18th birthday. This is better because we all google our names at some point. Great process.
if mum says no you're not seeing the kids! it's messed up
@@davidforrest63 Yeah, that's the idea. Hope it helps.
@@IntelligentEating Yep... and the kids are the ones to suffer
I grew up from a broken family. My mom aggressively brainwashed me and my sister about how terrible our father was. I never understood what a great man my dad was till my late 20s. Now I hate my mom. She almost ruined my life. Now, I just live alone coz I don't wanna deal with dramas. Over the years of making bad decisions, my dad was the one who always told me to move with him when i'm in trouble. Now that im grown up and learned from my mistakes, im proving to my dad that i can take care of my self so he doesn't have to worry. I am now independent.
Amen to that. Very similar experience to my own, as well as many that I've spoken with and worked alongside.
Godbless your soul
God bless you man similar experience for me
Sooooo many comments like this. I’m dealing with this now with my ex. She is actively lying to and brainwashing our daughters
Similar experience, power too you man💯
"Fathers aren't second class citizens!"
-Judge Judy
Judge Judy rocks.
They are second class citizens. They shouldn’t be though.
Double J is a boss I'm so glad she's been pickled and will now past forever
I saw that..was really good! AMEN
If I were getting divorced, I'd go to judge Judy
This was EXCELLENT. In a society trying to break down men, this talk is a gem. I love my husband, my kids need him just as much as they need me.
"Fathers too have a genetic bond and instinct about their children." We are just beaten over the head that we don't have that connection.
@@ahamed6702 While I agree with your point overall, a distant father is not the same as an absent one.
@@ahamed6702 isn't a mother something like 3x more likely to abuse their child? Don't quote me on that, i just read it on google
@@grantmason3251 I’ve heard similar things as well
have you ever seen you father cry? you will feel the pain and can't stop crying even he weren't very nice for you - that is the bond
@@TheBatTech Unfortunately my father died when I was 10. I never saw him cry. That said, he was very old world, emigrated here when he was 19, born in 1940, etc.
one of the greatest privileges is having stable and loving parents.
That's just a sad statement and observation of society today. It shouldn't be a privilege, it should be the norm.
It's not a privelage, it's a RIGHT owed to you, by your parents, for deciding to bring you into this world.
@Jon weldy Thank you for saying that! Stop throwing the word *privileged* for what supposed to be a *Norm*
@@aaronburdon221 Yes sir, that is correct!
@@jtg1972 She talked about thinking back to my father and all i could think about was when he would beat my autistic brother. Wealthy lady means well but damn shes lucky to talk like that. Nothing is owed to you, always remember that.
I’m a single father who received full custody of my two daughters through divorce. Not many men get the opportunity as I did and that’s the truth of how unfair the justice system is.
wow, was the mom on crack or how the heck did that happen?
@@cheesesoup2894 im quite curious too
Lucky you!
Good for you. I hope you also understand that your kids need their mother as much as they need you.
I was lucky to get to go with my dad too.
Thank you for speaking for fathers and getting it out there that we are suffering along with our children .
As a male teacher, I can tell you, even if I had never met a kids parents, I can pretty accurately pick which kids are from solo parent homes.
What differences are mostly shown?
Yes, I am curious as well, what differences are there between kids with both parents versus one parent?
Please I want to know too
Are the differences subtle or obvious?
Waste place oh it’s obvious...
I'm a father of 10 months old boy. I bursted into tears because as a working man going through divorce, I know that all the statistics are against me.
✊🏿 Stay Strong
Find resources in your area...continue to fight...above all, pray...you will get through this.
Keep Praying
Right there with you, Phil. Made me cry, too. Divorce (especially as a dad) is extremely hard. Hang in there.
It may be late. But good luck man.
I was divorced by my wife in 1978. We had three girls. She wanted custody of two of the girls, not our middle girl. She took one daughter with her and moved to a different state, but she expected her oldest daughter, whom I adopted, to go and stay with her after the school year to live with her. After a few months her live in boyfriend slapped our youngest daughter's face such that her teacher noticed it. The teacher reported it and my ex asked me to take care of her until she got "her feet back on the ground". So I flew her back to me and her other two sisters, grand-parents, and I met her at the airport. The daughter I adopted chose to stay with me even though I was not her natural father. After that I raised all three myself. I am not bragging, but I wish more men had the courage and opportunity to do this, because sometimes the mother is not the better parent.
Bless you.
Good on you bro, YOU ROCK! God Bless You! I struggled to spend time with my daughter for over 14 years after my ex jipped me in divorce court when I was a young dad at 25 and my daughter was 3. Now the dissfuction and alienation continues as my daughter is now 31 and won't let me spend time with my two grandchildren. She won't even call me. I also grew up without my dad who moved to Texas when I was 5 and never called me! Luckily I had a Grandpa that truly loved me.
I always feel happy when I see messages like this. Fathers have always been portrayed as the bad one, but little do they know there are ones who are like you. Bravo!
I'd say OFTEN times the mother isn't the better parent
A lot of men try, but the courts get in the way. My brother is living this nightmare of court’s ignoring the importance of dads
I saw this video years ago and it made me cry. Seeing it again now it still makes me cry. My battle to be a part of my kids' lives has been very challenging, but I am more than present. I am always there for them and they know it. Thank you for this video. The world needs law reform, more present fathers, and more women like you.
Shocking that it has to come a woman to stand up for men. I hope she's heard.
Having a woman speak these truths is the only way some people will truly hear these truths. I'm not shocked. It's the same for racism or any other bias/prejudice. Only when the other side starts to talk about it, does it change for the better.
Check out the TedTalk with Cassie Jaye. Shes another fantastic speaker.
It is not shocking at all. Because nobody is listening to men in our society. We are portrayed as incompetent idiots in popular culture. Have you seen the Simpsons, Family Guy, car commercials, etc.?
The man is portrayed as a complete moron and the woman as the smart, industrious, collected individual. Yes, it will take a woman to raise these issues in order to be heard. I'll take it.
That's cause bitches will only listen to a women regarding this.
@@CraftystuffbyStacey and even then you'll have those who respond to her by making ad hominem attacks and studiously ignoring her message.
My mother left when I was 6. I did not see her again for 10 years. My father had to take 8 parenting classes and my sisters and I had to take a few classes also for some reason. My father's check was garnished for not paying child support to my mother who was nowhere to be found and was not raising us. And when he corrected it they charged him a fee to return only 75% of his money. And the courts would not give my father custody for 3 years because they wanted my mother to have a chance to come to court and let them know she would not take us. This was my experience with the custody courts
Courts are very unfair to man and disregard the rights of the children in favor of the mother. This is not a patriarcal society, not a bit.
USA, crazy place.
good god, what state do you live in ? ill never live there...
@@Gizziiusa Texas and the state does not mater much with this subject to be honest
@Captain James T. Kirk Yes but very few enforce those laws. In the UK laws are rarely repealed, but more often lapse from enforcement. Otherwise all men of fighting age would have a long bow, and would be doing at least two hours archery every Sunday. :-)
11:00 I can't express how grateful I am to hear this information from another person. Many years ago, in college, I did a paper on this very topic surrounding the information located within the timeline I previously tagged. While I did well on the paper from a grading standpoint; the professor was less than pleased with the area my paper covered, and expressed dissatisfaction/disappointment with the context supporting the rights of fathers and the fair/cordial communication between estranged parents.
I remember working at McDonald's when I was 16. I was cleaning tables in the dining area. While I was cleaning a table I looked up at the family sitting there and it was my father, his wife and two brothers I didn't know I had. They did not recognize me and I was standing in front of them. Imagine what's it's like for your father to not know what you look like. My mother blocked us from seeing him. After I graduated high school (child support went away) my mother quickly exited by life. I developed a relationship with my dad and his new family and they all moved close to me.
Bro...Im so sorry. ...
@@matchley500 When I was 10 I was living with my mom in San Diego. She got mad at us threw me and my brother in the car with our clothes and 150 miles to Thousand Oaks and dumped us off at our dads apartment and drove away. She didn't tell my dad. We sat in from of his door for hours with no food, water or money. A neighbor asked why we were there and we said waiting for our dad. This was before cell phones. She asked where he worked and called his office. He was on a business trip across the country. One of his coworkers came over and took care of us until he could get home. We didn't hear from our mom for over a year. I have more bad stories about her.
Today I have 16 year old son that is having the best childhood ever and he has never met my mom.
@@rayj310 That is truly awful. So so wrong. From one man to another, Im so proud and encouraged that you survived. May your children know the love you should have known.
@@rayj310
Hi Ray,
Have you given it a thought to introduce your son to her granny?
@@silentj1022 I surround my son with good people. My son is having the best childhood ever. He has 20-30 good friends, involved in sports, good grades. My house is the hangout house always filled with his friends. We have had 40 kid water fights where we used over 2,500 water balloons. The record was a 15 boy sleepover. I have only 1 goal, raise a good kid.
As a Father I really appreciate this talk to spread awareness. No one cares about the fathers.
I agree with all but "No one cares about the fathers." This lawyer is fighting for the fathers. Other lawyers are fighting for the fathers.
I'm a single mother of two boys from two different men. One of my children is with his dad upon a mutual agreement between me, him and his family. My other child, I don't really want to speak about his dad and I should leave that at that.
Wish you luck with whatever you're going through and whichever your battle is.
What? Father's have always been the parents who gives their names to the children while the mothers bear all the pain of giving them birth & nurturing them...father's provide financial support, mother's bears them in their womb for 9 months, bears the excruciating physical pain to give birth & continuous nurturing and also financial support these days. but her name is never added to her own children. Father's have always been the head of the family fir no reason... completely making the mother and her contribution in the structure of a family secondary... historically that has been the norm ..and you say none care about fathers???
@@barnaliadhikary9421 All you've done is list the responsibilities of a father. You are yet to elaborate on how anybody cares about them.
The normal case is, fathers are the ones who have to figuratively bend over backwards to provide for the kids, and the mother, till the kids are in their early 20s and are independent (20+ years) while the mother keeps using "I carried them in my womb for 9 months" as a defense to everything. A father can literally lay down his life to save his child and you'll still hear the mother say, "well, I carried him in my womb for 9 months". Lol.
PS: Female children get named after the mother too, or grandmother
I do man. I was raised by a single dad. He never complained or needed praise. He was just my dad
Stay strong brother.
@@barnaliadhikary9421 I'm sorry that your experiences have put blinkers and coldness on your heart, developed an expectant and entitled mindset, and nurtured lack of empathy towards men. Men feel pain, a great deal of it. Perhaps it would be better for men if you told them this view of yours on the outset of meeting them. I pray your heart warms one day, and that other women of similar outlooks dont hurt your boys, and instead treat them with compassion and appreciation rather than expectation and obligatory role-assignment. Keep well.
What an intelligent confident woman, her father must be proud indeed.
This a wifey material she truly know what men is worth unlike the 304 who say they don’t need a men
@@IbrahimHassanDayTrade Yeah goodluck finding a women like her. The chances of finding a high value women like her is like finding a needle in a haystack
@@alex1311t so true homie ngl that’s straight fax 📠 I don’t smell and cap 🧢 I don’t where I could find these lol I guess beauty doesn’t matter anymore it the inside of the person that really matters
She's a lawyer, so she's used to talk in public and articulate things. Plus, she had weeks to prepare this speech and years of experience in what she's talking about to sound clever and relevant. I think people tend to be too easily impressed by unspontaneous performances. If you were used to talk in public like me you'd probably know that there's a day and night difference between a spontaneous performance and a well prepared scholar intervention. In those favorable conditions, performing well is not an indicator of intellignece, only of how she finally mastered the subject she does as a living (which is logical and normal on the long run, after a decade or two always facing the same problematics). Here I will not discuss too long about the "Halo effect" either, which makes you more likely to value her globally higher because she's hot.
However, I'd be curious to see how people like her handle mathematics or engineering for example, the kind of topic where hours of repetition cannot compensate high IQ when difficulty levels becomes high enough.
Real long term economical growth is created by innovation and engeneering, and so does purchasing power follow as well, permitting litterary persons like her to take advantage of all this brillant creative person's inventions to simply learn and recite law texts by heart as a living. I'm always impressed of how deep American civilizatin idealises "memory" skills like lawyers, doctors, notarios or accountants, forgetting that all their jobs and effectiveness only exist thanks to the really smart and creative minds who do invent engines, internet, architecture, electricity systems, chimestry or computers...
@@epicvideos6227 ok, lets not discriminate against lawyers just because they operate differently... Sure, maybe they get more praise than other professions, but that doesn't mean that either is smarter or more capable. Just different. She is clearly a professional who is confident in what she believes in and is making changes.
What a beautiful speaker, she's doing the best possible thing in her profession, lots of gratitude and respect for this genuine Lady
"Men parent differently than women! Big surprise!"
Wow, gotta give her props for having the guts to say that in public in 2020!
a known thing. step up/back off. parent. agree to disagreed.
And that’s why kids need both. The differences come together to make a whole. It won’t be perfect (cuz it’s being done by human beings😂) but it’s sure as heck better then having one half of the whole.
far left liberals got triggered
?:? Wtf does this have to do with politics??
she has a great sense of humour
I was awarded custody of my three sons when they were 6 (twins) and 11. Their mother has a horrible disease, called alcoholism. After her third conviction for DUI/DWI, I knew it was time. I went to neighbors, friends, teachers, anyone that would write a statement on the behalf of my sons. I contacted my divorce attorney, who is a woman. We built a solid custody case. I was only asking for temporary custody until my ex-wife could demonstrate sobriety and responsibility. When the date of the custody hearing came, my attorney told me to relax and stay home. She said I didn't have to attend. The judge awarded me permanent custody. The year was 2003. I had to employ live-out Nanny's for nearly 9 years, due to my job, which involves weekly travel 3-4 days per week. My eldest son is an Air Force officer in pilot training and my twin boys still live at home working and studying and figuring out their future. They will do fine. They are all great young men, smart, kind and loving.
Jeffrey Collier beautiful story! God bless you and your beautiful family
Did she pay her fair share of child support?
You have the heart of every father
@@freddieflintstone5544 lol, that doesn't even amount to much : mothers child support
Respect you dad.
On behalf of all men, thank you for saying this.
Fought and won full custody of my boys in Nevada back in 2011. They provided her with attorneys to help her while the kids and I were alone to fight and survive alone. Nice to see laws changing but they still have a long way to go when men are fighting for their lives and their children’s lives against lies and state appointed attorneys.
Man Im really happy for you. God bless you and your boys. lots of love king
"Fathers are the forgotten contributors to child development"
"Wow"👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
They are the forgotten creators of civilization and society at large. Women literally have the privilege to be able to use mans advancements.
@@joshgen8533 oof, who hurt you.
@@nothanks8368 Why is someone hurt for stating a fact?...
@@joshgen8533 The comment was so simple and yet you managed to completely miss the point, I can't imagine being you lol
@@joshgen8533 Facts